What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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make me a sandwich! what kind?

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Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

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like most people my age. im 27

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm a dog.

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Q. Whats does the kid and the dog have in common? A. The kid has Herpes.

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Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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what did the person with yellow teeth and the person with white teeth have in common? they have a nose.

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Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

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can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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A dancer walks into a barre

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I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

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Are you gay. No. Ok.

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Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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