I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

What do you call a lot of goose in one place? geese

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

What's worse than rotten eggs? Being dead.

why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

knock knock

Q: How much old could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Wood A:10.6 cubic metes

Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

What do you call a black man being raped by 6 members of the Ku Klux Klan? Rape

Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

why did the Japanese father cry? because when america bombed japan in wwll it happened to kill the rest of his family

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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