How many pencils does it take to get an A on a test? Actually it takes knowledge.

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Why did the most interesting man in the world refuse to eat his buttered toast? It just so happens that the cook accidentally used stale bread, causing it to taste unsatisfactory.

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What stars with C, is hairy on the outside, moist on the inside and ends with T and has UN in the middle? Coconut

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Uh... You know them N words... When they come crashing into the neiborhood the neiborhood quality drops and gets totally destroyed youknow what im sayan? Uh yeah sure totally... Then you know they spread around smell up dirty and toxicify the whole area, they become so fat and loud and like take everything away from you. Yeah HEIL KKK!! WUUT? I was talking Aboot them Nukular warheds! You you... SOMETHING! Hey! Dont get offensive man, sorry I was just KIDDING!... yeah... KIDDIIING!

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Knock Knock Who's there? The holocaust

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A raccoon walks into a bar. He then proceded to bite 3 people before animal control got him. A black man, hispanic man and an asian man. Later they all walked to the hospital and were treated for rabies, they were all fine as rabies is normally not fatal when caught early. Moral- this story is racist cause the white man was completely unharmed, DONT DISCRIMINATE!

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Why couldn't Billy drive? He had no arms. Why did he have no arms? Thalidomide.

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Three men are walking, the first one walks into a bar. He has a couple of drinks because he is depressed. He drives home, drunk, and dies in a car accident. His wife finds out and hangs herself.

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Yo Mama's so fat when she fell out of the tree she hit the ground very, very hard.

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Roses are red Violets are red I have Ebola

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Why did the bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a bowling ball? You can't pick up a bowling ball with a pitchfork.

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What did the man say to his father? You are not my mom.....

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How do you make a clown frown Throw an axe at his face.

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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Why did the faggot cross the road? Because he was a faggot.

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What is black, white and red all over? An interracial couple that has been shot and murdered.

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why did the turtle beat the rabbit ? because the rabbit eventually got shot

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What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

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Q: A woman is hit by a motorcycle. Whos fault was it the motorcyclist's or the woman's? A: It was the motorcyclist's fault. He shouldn't of been riding his mortorcycle in the kitchen while she was making my sandwich.

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I just threw up..In my pants.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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