What is red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Q: Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: Because he was hit by a bus, and then was raped violently. He is currently undergoing psychotherapy.

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Ring Ring! Hello? Hello, is your refrigerator running? Yes it is Good.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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What's worse than dying of boredom? ...Being stabbed.

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Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

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What do you call a person with no eyes, ears, or mouth? Helen Keller

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?"i'm so turned on right now." - horny light bulb

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What did Hellen Keller say when she drove up to the stop sign? Nothing, she doesn't drive.

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How do you get a ninja to do a backflip? Ask him nicely.

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Q:What happens when a bug walks into a bar A:It gets stepped on

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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What did the blind girl say? Its dark in here.

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How do you make a snake blink? You can't

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A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" the bartender asks. The horse kills everyone in the bar and stampedes the other horses into town.

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What did the... Uh, I forgot the rest of the joke.

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I'm 23, just like most people my age.

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2 Priests and a Monk walk into a bar, All 3 were stabbed to death in a bar fight.

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Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

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Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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What's the humor in an elevator? Me jumping up and down yelling we r all gonna die.

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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Why did a 36 year old Asian man stop in the middle of raping someone A: He realized that what he was doing was immoral and that it could scar someone for the rest of there lives and that he could serve a sentence of up to 35 years which would mean he would miss out on the special offers that QVC has to offer during this time

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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