What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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Why did the really unfunny man buy AntiJoke The Book??? It was a good deal and only $9.99.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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what do you call a Nice Nazi A Nazi... He's still a Nazi.

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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What has two legs? Half a cat

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind.

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Snapple Fact #1 -slaves made life easier

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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Why did the chicken open door? It can't. Chickens don't have hands.

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How did the clown crash his car? A horrible tornado chrashed through the town.

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When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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What's young and not funny? Todays anti-joke writers.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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WHY DONT WE HAVE BOTH?

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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