Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

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What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

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what's worse than 24? 6 million.

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I dig, you dig, we dig, they dig, he digs, she digs, everybody digs. Guys, it's not a very profound poem, but it's deep.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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oh, brown loaf is fine, i'm on my bike.

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What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? Because she is enjoying the meal her husband has prepared for her after a long day at her second full-time job of the day

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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"Whats that boy? Timmy fell down the well??" Bout time

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How do you make a dog drink? Put one in a blender.

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Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

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What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

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whats brown and stick? brown paint that has not dried yet.

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hitler... Time to go to Aushcwitz

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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What is funnier than an anti-joke? My SAT scores.

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whats worse then falling out of a tree? Cancer.

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What do Australians and New Zealanders have against pods anyway?

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What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

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What do the Irish do on their birthdays? Eat birthday cake and sing happy birthday

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Why do Jews fast for Yom Kippur? It's part of their tradition.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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