What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

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Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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What do you call it when you see a black man break his arm? There isn't really any name but I suggest he seeks medical attention.

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You know your in Houston when... The highway sign says so.

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I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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how do you know if your friend is your best friend? if he cries you cry, if he laughs you laughs, if he jumps out a window you laugh again.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

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I started writing poetry the other day: POETR That's coming along nicely.

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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No soup for you!

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How did the lazy fat boy burn a lot of calories? He set his fat friend of fire.

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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What's worse than a work in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Seeing the same joke repeated thousands of times on anti-joke.com.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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