I walked across a lake once. Someone said "JESUS CHRIST!" to which I replied with "YES?"

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Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

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What did one cow say to the other cow? Moo

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

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why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

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have you ever seen an elephant hiding behind a flower? No? well it must have been hiding pretty well.

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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Lunch.

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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What did the Dark Knight say to the Policeman? I'm Batman

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Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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Q: Whats black and green and goes 100 mph? A: A black and white car going 100 mph.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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What's white and horny? A unicorn

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

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What's worse than rotten eggs? Being dead.

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what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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