What's annoying and wears glasses? The kid next to you

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Wife: "I suggest you check properly next time you lose your keys so that you find them quicker" Husband: "I suggest that next time I sit down and have a beer while I wait for Doc Martin and his time machine to give my keys back.

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Did you hear about the blind man who got stuck by a bus? Poor guy never saw it coming.

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Why shouldnt you take the virginity of a 14 year old? Their pre-frontal lobe is not developed enough to sufficiently judge the affect of this action on their life.

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

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Knock Knock The guy opens the door

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A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks an assistant, "Can I buy that TV"? He says, "Sure, no problem." She then walks out of the store, happy with the purchase that she made.

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One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

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What do u call a dumb Asian. An american

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"My CiOCK is bigger!" "No! My CiOCK is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger DiICK.

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What's worse then AIDS? Chad Wolbert

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did you know hellen keller had a dog? niether did she

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His name is Frosted Mike, and he neither has nor does not have a penis.

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What is the the mistake..... 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

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What's your blood type? Red.

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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If you are reading this you will soon suffer a slow and painful blow job... -_-

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phil - "honey, why is the picture quality so bad" Phil was watching a toaster

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what did one computer say to the other .........

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Why did the man start a shooting spree at walmart? Because he is mentally unstable and people at walmart make easy targets.

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What did the old lady call the black pilot who's name was Marcus? Marcus

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Dear Jim, I have a problem with my Hymen... "Jim'll fix it for you..."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops