when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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Whats a movie? A moving picture.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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You know what's worse than having friends with a lake houses Not being invited to their lake house...

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What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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What is yellow and can shot? A Banon.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

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What was so incredible about this bigger new oven i just bought? It could fit twice as many Jews in it. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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A bear walks in a restaurant and asks for a table for one. Meanwhile, everyone else in the restaurant is freaking out because there is a bear in there

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what's Mexicans favourite sport? Cross country.

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What did God say when he made his first black guy? Oh no I burned one! :)

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What's better than your first Hanukkah? Not being a Jew.

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Listen, I cannot as much as I would like, to take the full responsibility for every decision my former followers might decide to make of their own, we are no religion nor do we follow any kind of doctrines, we encourage freedom but also respect for our fellow human beings, all of them regardless of race or affiliation. But you let me know whoever has as much as looked at you the wrong way, and I will make sure they no longer find themselves welcome within my order, nor anywhere else if their actions merit the firm hands of justice.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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A bartender walks up to a church and a synagogue

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Why did the jew kill himself? Because he had no foreskin.

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wat is the name of a girl u can play connect the dots on her face laurie pisciotta

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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A black guy wearing a mask runs into a store, points his gun at the cashier, steals some money and runs out. The police start an investigation the following morning

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Roses are red Violets are blue Urine is yellowish and shit is usually brown... That's it, I was just remembering the colors of some stuffs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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