so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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There was 3 Men. Who had crashed their car on there way back from the Bar, All 3 of them died. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told him " The better in life you were with relationships,and staying true with one love- The better Transportation you get." Guy one got a Scooter. Guy two got a bike. And Guy 3 got a Mustang. One day, Guy 1 and 2 were on their bike and scooter. And they see Guy 3 upset. "Whats wrong? You got the best transporation in heaven!!" Guy 3 looks up at guy 1 and 2, Then says " I know I do..... But, I just seen my wife on a Skateboard."

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How do you starve a black man? You deny his foodstamps ~Katie&Lena&Shelbey(:

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What do you get when a man farts then a giraffe digests the gas and then poops into the mouth of a rabid baby raccoon? A raisin coated in corn flakes with digestive fluid sauce.

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What is brown and lives in a toilet? A black homeless man

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What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about everything.

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What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

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This is hypothetical remember, just examples with no roots in real life events. The problem with your former employee, was that he would easily have played the victim, certain organizations would have paid him a fortune for the intel he had collected, and surely also agreed to let him walk away, and get you and your small (relatively) crack team death penalty on the spot, just like the underground, you would have been branded terrorists simply because certain people would have earned billions by doing so. The wizard would most likely have gone free, as long as he shared every tiny bit of info, then the cops, the feds, would have blamed it all on you for being his supervisor, you would not have survived the ordeal, trust me.

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A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

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An elderly lady walks into a grocery store, and nothing of a great significance happens.

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Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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When life gives you lemons......you should be really scared because life shouldnt be giving you anything....espically lemons so if life offers you lemons you better run

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What direction do 5 gay guys walk? I am unable to answer that because they are all aspiring to work in different occupational fields.

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why did the circus boy not do his homework? because he was in a coma.

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A lawyer walks into a bar, and due to the repercussions of severe head trauma was never able to do so again.

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What did the racist say to the other racist? Hey how was yesterday's clan meeting?

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Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? They're both purple expect the rabbit

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How do u save a black person from drowning? Take ur foot off the back of there head

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Have you ever just woken up one day and thought, "I don't wanna wear pants today."

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was very hungrey and saw some seed on the other side.

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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