a blind person walks into a deaf person and the deaf person says "dadadader"

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Why did the asbestos cross the road? Because it was being removed from an elementary school due to the fact that asbestos is an air pollutant which is regulated under section 112 of the Clean Air Act of 1970.

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A small child walks past a man on the street: Fortunately, as the man hates children he is perfect height to let a massive fart rip in his face on the way past. His mum looks disgusted. They carry on with their day.

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Why did Teresa fall off the swing? She had no arms. Who is knocking at the door? Not Teresa.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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Why can't you look at the sun? Because it's 2.00 AM

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was among thousands of men who were also from Nantucket.

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what's the funniest joke? wish i knew

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Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

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if you consider his name parents name social security number hospital born date born and nurses signature all on a peice of paper then i guess you consider that his birth certificate

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I like playing in the balls. I like balls.

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Manchester City

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't get back up? She had no legs.

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Why did the little boy cry? Because he was badly burnt in a house fire.

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Why did the fat person build a lift in his house? He was caring for his terminally ill mother which has a cancer and got both her legs amputated due to the cancer spreading to her legs.

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Why did the nun cry? 12 babies were killed under her care.

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Why wouldn't Helen Keller be able to drive if she was alive today? She would be inside her coffin not knowing how to get out

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What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

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What is worse than finding dead parents? Not finding them.

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the house. knock knock. who's there? the chicken!

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops