A magician was driving down the road and turned into a driveway...

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What do you say to a man with no legs at a bus stop.. How you getting on.

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Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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Why do black people like fried chicken?? Because it was fried

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1st black guy: get a job 2nd black guy: i have one 1st black guy: okay

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a farmer asked me "were is my pig?" and I said ' I got hungry" :()

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Actually, Ylvis had a dog named Say. When he peed in the studio one evening, Ylvis said, "What the fuck, Say?"

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What did one wall say to the other? Nothing. Walls can't talk.

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to escape the evil villains in giant mech suits.

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Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

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Knock knock! who's there? Doctor Doctor who? No, this is your actual doctor, you have cancer.

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how many babies can fit into a microwave i dont know i havent tried

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I'm going as the joker for halloween

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Knock Knock Who is there? Orange Orange who? Orange-Banana

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Have you seen the movie "Gay Men Say No"? Oh yes, that is very insightful documentary on the modern day struggles of homosexuality.

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Why did the little boy commit suicide? Because his dad molested him.

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

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Yo mama is so fat she died

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

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What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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