Knock Knock, Who's there? The Postman. But I wasn't expecting a parcel. Is it for 37? No, Sorry, its for 35.

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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YODO (unless you're religious background encourage you to believe in an afterlife of some sort, be it of animalia or homo sapien decent.

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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TIMMY

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Roses are red, violetes are red, I'm colorblind

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He had no legs

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What did ahmet say to adem...? LEMME SUCK ON THOSE TITS joke made by dark

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How did poor Miss Suzy get her poor little baby to stop crying? She cut off its head, burned its body, and sacrificed its ashes in a bizarre Satanic ritual that involved having sex with a heifer. (Miss Suzy was a Satanist priestess.)

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why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a pedophile.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was depressed for a long time and decided to end his life by getting hit by a car.

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed as a clown.

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What is the biggest lie in the world? I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? Because he had no arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Johnny was a potato.

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Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Two elephants were in a bathtub. One elephant asks the other "pass the soap?" The other elephant passes him the soap and they continue with their bath.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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Two bees are flying around a flower. "Hey," says one bee, "you ever think about the meaning of all of this? I mean, isn't there more to life than pollinating and satisfying the Queen?" The other bee replies, "No."

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What happens when you agree to disagree? You extend the duration of the argument.

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen Beatle? Two in the front, two in the back, and one hundred in the ash tray.

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What's awesome and rides a unicycle? Rollercoasters. I lied about the unicycle.

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Q: Do you know what you can make when you have enough cents? A: Dollars

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops