Why did the blonde lose her job as a teacher? Because she was in a sudden and violent car crash in which she died a slow agonizing death.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I can not rhyme, Show me your tits

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Pete and Repeat were in a boat, Pete jumped out. Repeat was concerned-not only because his name was typically used as a verb and not something parents normally name a baby, but about why Pete would jump out of the boat? Pete wondered what to do next-should he jump in and see if Pete is okay? He also wondered if he should he change his name to Kevin.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a Triceratops.

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Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

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Her Majesty's Government of the United Kingdom of Great Britain

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There's two bears in a bathtub, One looks at the other and says "hey can you pass the soap?" the other bear says "what do i look like a light bulb?"

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground BEEF!!!!

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people magazine

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How did Sarah Offet win? He had no arms. Knock, knock? Whose there? Not Sarah Offet

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide

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Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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whats black and blue and white all over A little caucasian boy who is being abused by his parents

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A man offered a little boy a ride home. He drove the boy home where his father preceeded to beat him senseless.

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A Fat person walks out of mcDonalds

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why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was taped to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it didn't

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

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Rose are red Violets are blue all I what to know is what do that mouth do

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That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

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how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

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What do a boat and a computer have in common? Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops