Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

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What did the Apple Tree say to the Oak Tree? Nothing.

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My wife came up to me and said, "I want you to make me scream with 2 fingers!" So I poked her in the eyes!

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One fish... Two fish... Red fish... I have AIDs

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Why did the officer arrest the black man? Because he suspected him of littering. ...and because he was black.

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Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

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What is the difference between a painting and Jesus? It only takes one nail to put up a painting

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What does greg and Ian have in common?

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Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium BATMAN! Oh cemetery jokes

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the anti-joke.com joke was just like a normal joke. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

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How many asian children does it take for Gary Glitter to get aroused? Just one.

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what's the difference between a black man and a tricycle well the black man's a human

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What do you call 4 black guys in a red sleeping bag? Kit Kat. What do you call a fat black guy in a red sleeping bag? Kit Kat Chunky.

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apple was gonna make a smaller ipod for kids but decided not to because they didnt want the name to be itouch kids.

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what is sadder than lost in a ps4 game ? Your mom's funeral, she died in a horrible accident yesterday

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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Q. Why dont people like shane murchan ? A. Because he wears chinos .....

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What's worse than being named SAID? Having AIDS.. And getting a bee sting - it hurts like ****!

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Whats funnier than 24.....25

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What did the 80 year old man do to celebrate valentines day with his wife? Nothing, Alzheimer's made him forget about Valentines day.....and that he was married. What did his wife do for Valentines day? Killed herself.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Yo mamma's so fat that the gravity required to keep her on the ground is significantly smaller than an average sized human.

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Why do deer have horns? Because god made them that way.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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