Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

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I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

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Roses are red Violets are? blue Lets eat poo I know you want to

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Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

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Man: You know what sucks? Other man: What? Man: Diarrhea... Know what's worse? Other man: No, what? Man: The smell.

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Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

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why was the little boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

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What do you call a mormon in a red jumpsuit covered in black spots? Proper terminology for this scenario has not been yet made

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Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue U suck Dick Just Like Ur Dad did to u

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what did the homeless kid get for christmas? nothing he probably doesn't know what christmas is

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What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

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Why'd the littler girl fall of the swing? because a drunk driver ran through the swing, the little girl was killed. he was later charged with manslaughter.

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Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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How many kids does it take to fix a light bulb 5 1 to fix the light bulb and the others to get in the van

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I don't get it

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Q: what's white on the top and black on the bottom? A: Society

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Two men were walking down the road when one of them spotted an old lamp lying in a ditch. After examining the lamp's handiwork for several seconds one man rubbed the lamp with his shirt sleeve. The men then continued down the road.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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