What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the oceon? Dead in the water.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One says "It's getting hot in here". The other one starts to reply but then it's internal organs burst from the heat.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why did Charlie fall? He got shot 24 times in the chest.

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What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

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oliver is gay. so much so that he has hex with other men and dosent mind it very much

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iff god whas funny why thit he let your mother be raped and your sister murdered en iff satan whos a ice cream will he taste sweet ?

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Repeatedly raped by her alcoholic, child molesting father.

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with Nickelodon? You get Dora because she is allways telling you what to do.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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My Roomate-(crying in the fetal position for the love of his life has been murderer) Me- (laughing) I have a problem

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What's the difference between mw2 and mw3? Nothing

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What happens when some one breaks apart your little brother's lego tower? You have a screaming little brother and a bunch of legos all over the floor.

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Bobby got a new bike there are black kids in bobby's neighborhood bobby doesnt have a new bike anymore

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Why did the deaf man go to the concert? He had recently acquired a brand new hearing aid which meant that he was able to hear much better and decided that he wanted to listen to some music.

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

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Cole is "good" at soccer

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What do you call a gardener in Mexico? Un Jardinero.

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What do you call something that comes out of a llama's butt? poop

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What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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yo mama so fat that she should be concerned because diabetes is a serious issue

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What did the young girl get for Christmas? Violently raped and murdered by her abusive father.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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