When we was Antarctica and it was cold we would huddles arounds a candles. What did we do when it was colder? We lit the candle,

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A: Is this the Krusty Krab? B: No, this is Pizza Hut. Please stop prank calling us.

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Q:why did the boy fall off the swing A:he had no arms Q:why couldn't he get up A:he had no legs Q:why did he die A:he fell in a puddle

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a wall? Ripping them off.

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Why did the old lady have a heart attack? She got raped by a giraffe.

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Wanna hear a joke..... Corey Jacobs Penis!

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A black man walks into a bank with a gun......he is a 25-year veteran SWAT team officer attempting to arrest two armed robbers that have 5 old ladies hostage.

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Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

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My wife made me a sandwich

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knock knock get lost!

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When life gives you lemons, you throw them at your friends. If they throw them back, duck

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How much coke can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men.

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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whats the difference between an iron and a priest? An iron is a hand-held device which presses clothes and a priest is a person who is authorized to perform the sacred rituals of a religion.

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What's green and blue, and red all over? Nothing. It if were red all over it wouldn't be green and blue.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy this song doesn't rhyme penis

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Why did the chicken cross the road The light was green

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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What happened when the engineering student studied for a physics final? They failed.

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A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

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why cant dogs write letters? They do not have the dexterity to hold a pen, or even comprehend the basic language skills and grammatical layout of how to write a letter

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An Asian fails their maths exam.

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What do you call two homosexuals in fancy hats? It depends, you have to ask their names first.

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Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and suffered from a self-inflicted gunshot wound in his head, he is being treated by medical professionals

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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