- Anti Joke

Q: What did the angry German man say to the Ameican? A: I dont know, I can't speak German!

What do you call a hairless penis, whatever gay name you decided to nickname it

how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

Toaster

What do Michael Jackson and a throbbing, greasy, overcooked Shitake Mushroom have in common? Nothing. Just nothing at all.

Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

What did the Beatrice do after she got kicked off of X Factor? she went to a nearby store and bought a slim jim

What does Ke$ha feel like when getting up in the morning? Shit because she has a nasty hangover.

what happened to the cripple after he got in a wheel chair? cancer of the eye

roses are red violets are blue i have a penis get in the bed

have you seen ray charles' house? neither has he.

How did Jesus walk on water? He was Jesus

What do you say to man with no hands. How do you feel.

What did the pillow say to the dragon? Nothing, because pillows don't talk, dragons aren't real and this is a highly improbable circumstance.

How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

+14,692

If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5... that's $10.

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

An Italian, a Mexican, and an American are eating lunch on a bridge. The Mexican drops his taco off the side of the bridge and the Italian and American were kind enough to share some of their lunch with the Mexican making it a successful picnic. Their ethnicity was not relevent at all.

Q: What do they call watermelons in Indiana A:watermelons

What did the tree say to himself? Gee-oma-tree( get it geometry say it outloud)

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops