What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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What do you call a dead blond in a coset? Last years hide and seek winner.

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Why do girls not have to have drivers license? Because they don't need a car to get from the bedroom to the kitchen ;) Don't mean to offend anybody! His joke is just funny

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Why did the woman not make her husband a sandwich? Because he died in 9/11

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A chicken crossed the road.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctors? It didn't because cookies are Inanimate and are incapable of mobility

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A boy with cancer decides to go skydiving for his 18th bithday. Unfortunately, his parchute doesn't work & he dies before he hits the ground.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree ? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was attached to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a monkey.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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I jacked off over a blind girl the other day, she never saw me coming

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"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

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There once were two muffins in an oven, and one definitely did not start talking to the other

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because people have encroached on it's natural habitat.

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Why was 8 afraid of 9? Because 9 bullied him until he became anorexic.

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David shut the fuck up your cat has asthma and i dropped a weight on its little fucking head that pikey should of drowned it furthermore your sister looks like a greasy alien

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Yo mommas teeth are so yellow that.....I reccomend she see a dentist.

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How can you tell two twin sisters apart? Look at one twin, then look at the other, and acknowledge that they are two different people.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a microwave? If you don't know the difference you need a psychiatrist.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally!

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A n antelope walks into a bar and many people leave for the sake of their safety and animal control gets called to escort the antelope out of the bar.

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What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

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everyone's always talking about the emperor's clothes, don't they know this is murica

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Kesley Ioannou not shopping.

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What do you call a black man that nicks your car? All we can say is that he is called the Nig

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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