How do you drown a blonde? Tie a cinderblock to her foot and throw her in water.

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Roses are red violets are blue you're the middle child no one cares about you

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Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

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What's the difference between a horse? All legs are of equal length, especially the left one.

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roses are red, violets are red, ive been shot in the eye with a pelet gun, please ,please help

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Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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How can you confirm that Saturday comes after friday, and that Sunday comes after Saturday? consult Rebecca Black.

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What did the Jew say to the black guy? Hey whatsup?

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Today i told myself i would write a joke... Joke... ????????????LAUGH!????????????

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Q: what did the white man say to the black man? A: hi

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Uh... What was emulating again?

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What sound does a snail make? Meow....... Think hard and you'll get it

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Row row row your boat Right to KFC Put some kool-aid in your cup And toast to you and me

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what comes in tube and smells like toothpaste? toothpaste

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How do you make a baby not cry? Do not throw a brick at it. ANTI-JOKE

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What happen to the man who got drunk and passed out behind the wheel? He crashed into a tree, his car caught fire and then he got incinerated.

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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If the covalent bonds of two Hydrogen atoms and one Oxygen atom creates water, which subs are currently on the 5-dollar-foot-long menu at Subway?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head and dies.

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German sausage is the wurst

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Today is March 22.

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Sticks and stones can break my bones And words can make me lonely

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"Hey! Did you get a haircut?" "No, I just started chemo..."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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