How do you get a black kid to sleep? A cup of warm milk and maybe a lulluby should do it.

Why wasn't Will invited to the party? Will has been dead for 3 years.

How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17.

what did the guy do at the funeral? cry because his wife died

Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

why did hellen kellers dog run away? because if your name was awughunguh you'd run too.

Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the sahara dessert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

Roses Are Red...Rolo's Are Round....Pull Down Your Pants And Let's Down!

What is brown red and white? I don't know, that's why I asked you

What's the main reason for divorce? Marriage.

roses are red violets are blue wendy williams looks like a man roses are red violets are blue i coach penn state pull down your pants

my mom died because she was morbidly obese

What do you call a white woman that had sex with a black guy? A rape victim.

"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

Why would Jesse Ziegenbein and Terran Hansen make a good couple? Because they both smell like shit and are fat as hell

What happened to the mentaly retarted gentleman walking down the street? Nothing bad. He might a very fine woman and the went to dinner shortly after.

I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

How did the black man cross the Atlantic? An airplane. He also could have used a boat. However, airplanes are a preferred form of travel.

What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

What do you call a kid with an eye-patch and a speech impediment? Names.

How many people with Alzheimer's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

Why can't George Washington sit up straight? He's dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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