Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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Why did Muhammad pray to Jesus? Because he has low self esteem and didn't believe in himself.

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what is worse than bitting into your apple and finding a worm? 9/11

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could switching to Geico save you 15% or more on car insurence? Does a bear shit in the woods?

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What did one Rhino say to the other? My, I'm sure glad we found this decadent watering-hole.

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Person 1: Your Ugly Person 2: Your mom's ugly

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Knock Knock Whos there? It was the unexpected arrival of his wifes lover who'd been having an affair with her for over a year She thought her husband would be out and forgot to tell him not to come The husband started breaking down in tears whilst throwing insults at both of them, grabbing the man by his collar and throwing him on the ground he started to kick his head in The man died and the husband and wife divorced, theres now a bench in the mans local park dedicated to him.

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Why was Little Billy crying? He had cancer. Why was Little Sally crying? Little Billy's cancer was contagious.

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Ahhh! Grandpa your going too hard!

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How do you knock a clown off a swing? Hit it with an axe multiple times.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Why do you stick a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the expression on its face...

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A man, a woman, and their son were happily going out for a nice family dinner. The family they ate wasn't so happy.

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, dogs can't speak English.

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The MLS

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a human profession, and the other is a type of fish.

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what do you call five mexicans pushing a truck up a hill? Five mexicans stuck in the middle of nowhere looking for an auto mechanic.

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why would you thank the KKK because they killed the president

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

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Once their was an ugly barnacle. He was sooooo ugly that everyone died! The end. :D

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A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.” The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?” The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

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How do you get a Hooker Wet? Dump her in a River.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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