- Anti Joke

Why did the chicken cross the road? It's hard to tell, but i could really use a cigarette.

Q:why did the girl fall off the swing set? A:she had no arms

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew. The pizza doesn't scream in the fire

DINOSAUR Street Fighter 4: Masterchief edition LOUND ONE! BAKE! And the final results: Sagat: Heh, you want some... cornflakes? BOOO! YOU THUG!" Ryu: WHOWANTSSOMEPOUNDCAKE! Delicious poundcake omg" "Well, at least better than serving a fucking bowl of foocking cornflakes with milk in four goddamn hours!" YOU LOSE! "You must defeat my Poundcake to stand a chance, I am the worlds greatest pillow fighter!" GAME OVER

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

What's is the worst thing america has done? Jersey Shore, We mad those idiots rich.

Knock, Knock Come in

if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

What's the difference between a baby and an onion? One is a vegetable and the other is a human being.

Your mother is so fat that occasionally she'll have more than one serving of preserves on her toast in the morning

Whats bigger than a tree A bigger tree

Why did i drink 4 sodas? Because i was thirsty

A baby walks into a bar and the bartender says.... Where is your mom?

Q: What was the name of the armless elf in Snow White? A: Stumpy

What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

Knock, Knock. Come In.

What's gay black & Jewish? The Ku Klux Klan

I can prove I'm a psychic - this post is going to receive a lot of dislikes.

how many boys does it take to use 4 computers? 4.

Why are friends like trees? If you hack at them repeatedly with an axe, they fall over.

Justin's humor

Why couldn't the kid get into the pirate movie? Tickets were sold out.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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