Hey babe, are you a refrigerator? -No... Good--'cause I wanna f*ck you so hard. Best pickup line. Always works.

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A man cooks dinner almost every night even though his wife is the better cook, and the man is in charge of the household. Why? Because the man isnt a sexist douchebag.

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How do you confuse a blonde? £74.56.5 x 4^4^4^5 (7) : [15(68yf4+s)]

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A man is flailing his arms in the ocean. Help me, I'm drowning!, he screams. Some dude runs into the water, drags the man out, and is proclaimed a Hero.

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What is better than a dead baby nailed to a tree? A dead baby nailed to 10 Trees.

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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what's mouthwatering and smells like fish? salmon

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Erm Wait why would a chicken be on the side walk in the first place?

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Why was the Pizza Delivery boy crying? He was sad.

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A blonde drank an entire fruit smoothie in one sitting. She got a brain freeze.

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Why are you on this sight? You're procrastinating. I am too

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what do men with small penises use as condoms? appropriately sized condoms.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

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How many Babies can be drowned in a toliet at once? idk the bathtub is much more convienient

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What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

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A Muslim walks into a bar. No-one survived the blast.

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Why didn't the girl put on her mascara? Because she was too poor to buy any.

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Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No? Neither has Stevie Wonder

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your mom is so fat jesus couldnt even lift her spirits

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what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

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how do u get to your favorite chinese restaurant? wok.

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What is the difference between a black person and a pizza? Nothing, they both taste like chicken

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Found out my dad was gay the other day. Now I have to take him to dance clubs, take him to musicals and find the man who gave birth to me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops