Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was already in the oven.

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Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

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Why did the black man go through the window of the house? He left his keys inside

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Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

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THAT MAN EATS TOO MUCH. therefore he is overweight.

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How did Jimmy get into the R movie? He bought a ticket.

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What do you do to get someone to shut up? You hit with a brick

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What do kittens and napkins have in common? You can sneeze into both of them except the kitten doesn't like it

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There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..."

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Whats the difference between an american and a arab? Their Ethnicity.

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how do you blindfold an asian...a piece of dental floss

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Why can't Hellen Keller have babies? She's dead.

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What's stronger than then the love of a mother and her child? A semi-truck

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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crap!!

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What did the man in the mirror say to the other man The Same F****** Thing!!

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Knock knock Who's there? Yolanda I do not know anyone by that name. I am sorry Oh I must be at the wrong house. My apologies. Oh, it's alright. Have a nice day You too. Take care!

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? His father never taught him how to ride one as he was an abusive alcoholic who abandoned Johnny's mother when Johnny was 3, so he is not very good at riding bikes.

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Q:Why did the little girl fall out of the swing? A:Because she had no arms.

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how do you make a door cry? twist its nob

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Douse it in gas and throw it in a fire

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why is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the same as a tub of fish? they are both food

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops