What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

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how do you get a blonde out of a tree? you politely ask her, then if all else fails call the local fire department

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What's better then winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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what was hitlers rap album called? straight outta mein kampfton

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Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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Whats green and tasty? Snot

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whats super and the champions of europe? Leeds United

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Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

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Cancer.

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there's two nuns cycling down a cobbled street. one nun says:ooo iv'e never been this way before! the other nun says:i'm not surprised there's roadworks and a diversion!

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Not Madeleine McCann.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Where is the center of the universe? There is no center of the universe! According to the standard theories of cosmology, the universe started with a "Big Bang" about 14 thousand million years ago and has been expanding ever since. Yet there is no center to the expansion; it is the same everywhere. The Big Bang should not be visualised as an ordinary explosion. The universe is not expanding out from a center into space; rather, the whole universe is expanding and it is doing so equally at all places, as far as we can tell. In 1929 Edwin Hubble announced that he had measured the speed of galaxies at different distances from us, and had discovered that the farther they were, the faster they were receding. This might suggest that we are at the center of the expanding universe, but in fact if the universe is expanding uniformly according to Hubble's law, then it will appear to do so from any vantage point. If we see a galaxy B receding from us at 10,000 km/s, an alien in galaxy B will see our galaxy A receding from it at 10,000 km/s in the opposite direction. Another galaxy C twice as far away in the same direction as B will be seen by us as receding at 20,000 km/s. The alien will see it receding at 10,000 km/s:

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JOSH BROWN STOP ADDING PEOPLES NAMES TO THE END OF YOUR TRUE STORIES!

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What do a blond and a jar of marmalade have in common? Nothing, they are completely different.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut, you ***ing racist.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have AD i love squirrels

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once upon a time jess was happy this once upon a time was a very long time ago, BABADOOK !

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What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

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What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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wat do u call a person who is ugly ugly

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If I get 100 likes by tomorrow I will send 100 dollars to who ever likes it if the put down their address and say its for Louis Ok?

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What is the biggest killer in America? Death.

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an ethopian thanksgiving

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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