How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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whats brown and sticky? A stick

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What does a tomato and a human have in common? They both spray red liquid when stabbed repeatedly

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Playing chess with a pigeon is like having an argument with a christian. No matter how good you are at chess, the pigeon will just knock over the pieces, crap on the board and strut around like it's victorious.

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Why does Santa Clause not have any children? Because he only cums once a year.

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What do you call a person with no eyes, ears, or mouth? Helen Keller

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The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

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A man walks into the bar, goes up to the bar tender and says "exuse me, please could I have a pint of bitter" the bartender says "sure"

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What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

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What did the furnace say to the Jew? Nothing, as it is an inanimate object and cannot communicate.

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Two computers walk into a bar I forget the rest

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What is white but you can't see it? A bottle of milk around the corner.

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do you know what was a good idea? not last night

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Ross Tumilty is gay 8===D

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Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

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"I want a boyfriend for these cold winter nights" ... Shut up you slut go buy a blanket.

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Denard Robinson

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Your mom is so fat that she actually had a pretty hard time finding a husband.

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What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

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why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

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what's the difference between eric bristow and colin baker? eric bristow is brilliant at darts.

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Ow, there's an arrow in my knee!

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A: Do you like it B: No

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What did Harold homeless man get for his Birthday? after several years of a meth abuse Harold lost contact with his family. As a result Harold received nothing but an extra bowl of soup at his local soup kitchen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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