Your mom is such a big whore that she sleeps with your dad.

Why couldn't the fireman get over the hill? Because he was dead.

THER ONCE WAS A jueny WITH A TEN FOOT WENNY AND HE WENT TO SHOW IT TO THE LADY NEXT DOOR SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A SNKE SO SHE HIT IT WITH A RAKE AND NOW ITS ONLY FIVE FOOT FOUR!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I stole all your jokes, I stole this one too.

How do you greet your great great grandmother born in 1738? Hey, what's up, hello.

I went seal clubbing the other day but as I was the only one with legs, the dancefloor was quite lonely

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Not the World Trade Center.

How do you stop the neighbors kids from jumping the fence into your property? Molest them.

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him "why the long face?" "All horses have long faces" he replied.

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

What does the composer Berg lack? Schoen.

What did the homeless war veteran get for christmas? Nothing because we don't treat our veterans very well.

Why was the black man tangled in chains at the bottom of the ocean? Because he was a highly skilled diver and environmentalist who tragically entangled himself and consequently died slowly and painfully of suffocation while trying to save a whale from eating waste metal.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Jamie stegman put many doodles into his mouth, sometimes 2,3 even 5.

your mama's so fat... that's it

look under under where under under where. under the couch

What do you call two black people on one bike? Organized Crime

How do you do you cure cancer? Very carefully.

Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he didn't have any arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Jimmy was a Potato.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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