what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

MICHAEL

Nicholas Salek did not write the message below. It was a joke one of his mates played!!

Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

The Piglodocus has been featured in films such as "Jurassic Pork" and "Land before Swine".

A blind was staring at a girls ass. Her boyfriend promptly bludgeoned the man unaware of his illness.

a potato walks into a bar. people stare as it is physically impossible for a potato to walk since it is a vegetable

Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbor.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile.

A blond walked into a bar. A guy picker her up and then they had sex.

why did the gay person cry? he was said that he couldn't marry his boyfriend.

What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

Person 1: Why don't you want to date me? Person 2: Because you are ugly Person 1: Why am I ugly? Person 2: Because you have bad features. Person 1: Why do i have bad features? Person 2: It's your genetics. Person 1: Why is it my genetics Person 2: Cuz that's the way god made you Person 1: Why? Person 2: Because god's god made you Person 1: Why Person 2: Because the god of god of god made you Person 1: Why? Person 2: That's the way the god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of god of (GOES ON FOREVER!!!) made you.

What is the definition of nothing? The opposite of something.

im passing this on from a friend: 2 blondes walk into a building, you think one woulda saw it,

What did the president say after his wife and kids left Him? Im Obama self now

yo momma is so fat her doctor recommended a new healthy diet.

Wha'ts Slippery when wet? A Wet Slipper.

penis?

What did the jew do to his waiter? He explained how he had provided excellent service and left a very generous tip to applaud his efforts.

Black people are innocent.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...