Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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I scream. You scream. We all scream. Because there is a rapist in the room.

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Two fish are in a tank. The first one says, "How the heck do I drive this thing!".

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Want some candy? Lol jk get in my van.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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How does a plumber cross the street? Using his legs

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Q. What's brown and sticky? A. A stick.

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What did the midget say to the clown that was blocking the doorway? Excuse me

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Boy: Is your body from McDonalds ? Girl: Aww is it because your lovin' it? Boy: No, it's because your greasy and fat!

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Roxanne's hat looks like a condom

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Q:what's faster than a black man with you t.v A:his brother with your laptop

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What do you call a computer running Windows DOS? Obselete

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A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

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Ducks smell too dog like animal farms riverside Chinese tofu hat hairy and eat beanie.

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Q: What do you call a girl who wears a tuxedo to prom? A: Comfortable with the way she looks.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Q: what weighs 6 ounces sits in a tree and is very deadly? A: a sparrow with a machine gun

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Q. There were 2 Mexicans in a car, who was driving it? A. The police officer.

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What is the difference between a feminist and a gun? A gun only has one trigger

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Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

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Last night I had the strangest dream. I was eating a big marshmallow and when I woke up this morning I had appendicitus

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Holy ****, I'm in heaven.

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What do you get when you mix a dog with a pool table? I don't know.

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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