Whats worse than the holucaust.......... Nothing

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What has 4 eyes but can't see? A blind man wearing glasses.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads: "A rare bearlike mammal (Ailuropoda melanoleuca) of the mountains of China and Tibet, having woolly fur with distinctive black and white markings. Also called giant panda, panda bear." Seeing absolutely nothing in this description that would rationalize the homicides the panda had just committed, the bartender arrived at the reasonable conclusion that the panda was psychotic and having severe psychological problems which probably caused the incident. The bartender couldn't help but wonder if this tragedy could've been avoided had the panda been properly screened for schizophrenia and guns been properly secured in a safe at the panda's mother's house.

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What's worse than a paper cut? 2 paper cuts.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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Q: Why did the fork cross the balloon? A: Apples

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its not for us to determine its motive, i'm sure it has its reasons

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what does 2+2equals? i think its 3 but i could be wrong

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener.

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What do you tell your dad if he constantly gripes about his balls? He's got testicular cancer and he's going to die a horrible painful death.

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A bar walks into a man. No, firstly it wasn't a man and secondly the bar didn't walk in. The pedophile just slid it in and sodomized the poor boy.

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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Knock knock. Whose There? Megan Megan Who? Your Wife...

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Stranger at door: *Knock knock* Oliver Twist: Who's there? Stranger at door: Not your parents.

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Your mother is so stupid that ran into a large pole.

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How do wake up Lady Gaga You Poker her face

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a guy walks in to a bar in iraq. 10 people died because of it

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What happened when the terrorist with a bomb went into a school. He blew up and everyone died.

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If there are 50 oranges and 50 waffles tied to a fence post. How many cow utters does it take to shit green? urine.

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Frogs with dislocated fingers....................................................CARROT

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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