Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

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what did the little boy say to his mom? nothing his mother died in childbirth.

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whats black and doesnt work? a broken black toaster

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Why did a homeless man eat another man's face off? Because he was hungry.

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How do you confuse a blonde? You ask her a question.

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catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

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A skeleton walks into a bar. He orders a beer and a mop.

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Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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What did the Jew do before the movie? He turned off his cell phone.

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How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

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a man walks out of a gas station and sees an indian with his ear to the road. He walks up to him and the indian says "truck... ford truck... large man in front with flannel shirt and trucker cap... german sheperd in passenger seat... licence plate 4563u6." Amazed the other man says " wow, you can tell all of that just by listening to the road?" The indian says "no thats a the truck that ran over me five minuites ago"

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Why did the bear stick his head in the honey comb? He wanted honey.

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knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

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1 out of 4 questions. How do you get a girrafe in a fridge? Open it, put the girrafe in, and close it.

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Why did Johnny fall down? Because I threw tropical fruit at him.

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why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

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Q: Why didin't fat billy take the last peace of pie? A: cuz he was not hungry

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69...you know how awkward this is now...

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whats worse than a worm in your apple..? getting shot..

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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Q: Where did little Suzie go during the bombing? A:Everywhere

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What do you call a man with no home or family? Charles Manson…He currently resides in jail.

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What did the nintendo Wii say as it went down the slide? They don't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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