Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I took your mother out to a fine seafood dinner. I never called her again.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why did andy fall down Because his friend pushed him over

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why do women go to the bathroom together? To clean their filthy pussies.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the prison inmate get for Christmas? A warm chair to sit in

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did timmy fall off the swings? He had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q.what do you call a dead baby? A. a dead baby

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock Whos there? Your mom My mom died three years ago, please go away while i cry.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why didnt the 14 year old get her period? Because she had gotten pregnant by her father

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I had an Anti-joke but i forgot it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the Asian woman crash her car? She couldn't see through the slits she called eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what do u call 2 puerto rician men playing basketball? won on won

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Kid One: "Hey, you! Do you know how to spell "I CUP'?" Kid Two: " Sure, F-A-G....G-O-T..." Kid One: ".........."

thumb_up thumb_down

fart+fart=poop

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the man take a poo because his rectum exploded

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's worse than an arrow to the knee? -A bullet in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock Who's There? Im Black Im Black Who Open The Door Now Pancakes Granted

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats the defination of cruelty

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how do you make sure someone is dead shoot them

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops