How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

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A black man is setting up contingency measures of protection in his personal place of residence when all of a sudden, several warning alarms sound and a few specialized people with red "combating" devices who were alerted by the blatant scenerio unfolding before them were moving quickly in order to match previously stipulated criteria of value. The black man and his family were partaking in a monthly fire drill unfolding in their own house since they were extremely responsible, law-abiding citizens of the city they were located in that required various kinds ofl saftey precautions to be taken so to mitigate the serious chance that people might be hurt by preventable, residential distasters.

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jd and zach loves vigina

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Why did the little girl walk into the wall? Because she was blind.

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A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Put it on my bill."

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You wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? I slipped in mud. Wanna hear an even dirtier joke? Bubbles is a guy..

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What is similar between women and puzzles? Neither had the right to vote before 1920. Puzzles still don't

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Whats worse then getting AIDS Math class

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Fish don't run.

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you are so ugly you continuously get made fun of for it everyday and already have a savings account for plastic surgery in the near future.

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Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh

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What's the difference between a soldier and a black man? A black man lives a normal life, probably working a full time job to bring income to his family. A soldier has seen his friends killed right before his very eyes, has probably killed, and most likely has night terrors accompanied by the sounds of gunshots and grenades. He will suffer trauma up until he dies of a heart attack in his mid 80's after experiencing a terrifying flashback of life in the war.

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Why was the boy depressed? A. because his whole family was slaughtered on the kitchen floor.

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You know what would be funny? If the Incredible Hulk asked Spiderman to change his diaper.

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Why didn't the girl put on her mascara? Because she was too poor to buy any.

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Darude- Sandstorm

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How many blondes does is take to screw a man? one and a condem

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Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

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Why do you stick a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the expression on its face...

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What's worse than finding your cat dead? Finding your cat dead because it choked on your goldfish.

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What happens when you stab yourself in the heart? You die.

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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whats worse than a worm in your apple? the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust? two worms in your apple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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