What did Kermit the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

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You.

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I once walked into my grandmas house to find her laying face down on the ground. It turns out that everyone was planking but grandma wasn't breathing...

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Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frost bite.

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Shit, I can't think of anything to write. That does not mean I'm black

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Teacher- And that is why the Pythagorean theorem only works for RIGHT triangles. Any questions? Student- I like grapes.

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What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

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The teacher hands out tests to the students and some of the students say to the teacher "what does 'no grade' mean?" The teacher responds, "Oh I need to grade them still.")

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My mom says to me are you gay and i say are you gay (What did i just do)

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Q. What did the man say when his car broke down. A. Damn it, my car broke down.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing situation.

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What's grey and can't fly? A castle

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Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

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What did hitler do with the vegetarians? Nothing, because he was one.

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

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How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

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Ask me if I am a Truck Are You a Truck No

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what do an elephant, a fishook, and a spaceship have in common? absolutely nothing

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Why do Chinese people smell? Because of their ethnicity...plus, they smell.

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A blonde, brunette, and red-head were on a deserted island. The blonde said, "in thirty years or so, we'll all have gray hair."

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A White man, a Black man, and an Asian man go to Heaven. They were in a plane crash.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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