Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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Wanna see some more?

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man: so where did you two meet? man tied to flower: in the produce section.

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A blonde and a brunette are walking down a street. What a great way to parade and recognise the various colours that lie upon ones head.

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how do you call someone? use a phone

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket? No. A picture of a red bucket? No. A photo nailed to a red bucket, which shows a red bucket with a very realistic painting of a red bucket on it? Yes.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm chuck norris. And I approve of this message.

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What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

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Three men are travelling in a hot-air balloon, but it starts to go down over an uninhabitable desert. One of the men must sacrifice himself to save the other two by jumping overboard to reduce the weight in the balloon. Nobody is brave enough to volunteer, and they all die painful deaths.

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Why did the Mexican jump the border? Because his mom told him the grass was always greener on the other side... She lied.

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What do you call A potato who is covered in red refrigerators and is known as a potato. Fallafal

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Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican is human being, and has no simalarities to an average day wooden bench.

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What is the best thing about chuck norris? hes holding a gun to my hea

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What would George Washington do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Why did the mom go to jail? She committed infanticide. lol.

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What's fat and round and has a ballsack nose? Mr Chicken

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Whats better than pizza? Pepperoni pizza, if you like pepperoni that is.

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Why does the groom wear a black tux? Because he knows a funeral when he sees one.

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A gay guy asks a boy out and a girl The girl said no but the guy said yes And the two gay guys went to dinner And made out

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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What was 6 affraid of 7? because 7 was black.

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What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

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Why didn't my marriage work out? Because I married a tangerine.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Orange! -door opens- You fucking come over here selling oranges one more time Julio and I will have you deported.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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