why was sally the best at hid and go seek they couldn't find her body

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How does a cow does a cow do an evil laugh? Mooooooohahahahaha

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man? Melanin!

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three friends are chilling one day and they all think they belong in Guinness book of world records the first guys says i believe i have the smallest arms in the world, the second guy says i believe i have the smallest nose in the world and the third guy says i hate to admit it but i believe i have the smallest dick in the world. So they all go down to Guinness book of world records inc. and the first guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST ARMS IN THE WORLD" the second guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST NOSE IN THE WORLD" the third guy comes out all depressed and mad and says "WHO THE HELL IS JUSTIN BIEBER"

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Why is Justin Biber so white? there's nothing in the closet.

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Your mother is so fat, she struggles to control her weight even with dieting. Obesity and heart disease runs is in her mother's side of the family; she and everyone close to her is very concerned.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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My friend told me to jump right off a cliff That's impossible since this cliff goes left...

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Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.

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Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest? A: An investigator

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What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? They have the same middle name.

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Knock knock. Whose there? Not my house so not my problem. Frankly, I don't give a shit.

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Why did the retirement home go out of business. There was a fire and all of the residents charred to death accept for a couple who escaped but were too traumatized to return to the old folks home.

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What did the priest say to Jesus when he revealed himself on Christmas morning? Happy birthday

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Q: What Did Alakazam Use To Listen Gangnam Style? A: He Used Psybeam.

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You wanna hear something dirty? A pile of garbage. That's dirty.

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Three head lice are drinking beer on a scalp, then they are killed by a high strength medical shampoo.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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Why did the bunny eat his food

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What does the cookie monster and the blue man group have in common? They are both homosexually active

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What's big and green and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A snooker table

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Q What did Stevens mum say when he asked to be an astronaut A no your heads too big

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yo momma so old that when she whent to school there was no history class

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Why did the blonde stay in the five-star hotel? She had enough money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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