Kid walks into principals office Principal: do you know why I called you down here. Kid: yeah, I punched a kid at lunch. Principal: that's not why I called you down here

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did Tommy's father tell him on Christmas? Nothing, he was violently stabbed to death on Christmas Eve.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the bartender say to the bugatti owner? "Don't drink and drive"

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Last night, I awoke to the unsettling sound of an alarm. My initial thought was fire. However, after analyzing the situation, I realized that it was only my alarm clock. I turned off the alarm clock, and got out of bed. Then my brother walked in my room and hit me in the face with a toaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do u call 30000 Mexicans rolling Dow a hill. Hahaha your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What did lil' Suzy do when she got home from school? She was violently mutilated by a bear then continually but raped by a man she met on the Internet. Needless to say, she had a great time. -Harrison

thumb_up thumb_down -8

roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun, shut the **** up.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the chicken cross the road? it was in my sandwich and i'm late for class.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a dead cow? Dead Meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the mushroom invited to the party? It was because it was a mushroom costume party

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A woman is home washing her dishes when she suddenly slips banging her head on a cabinet. She passed out for a few seconds, then woke to find a great gash on her left cheek, fairly spurting blood. At the emergency room, the doctor asks, "How did this happen?" The woman replied, "My boy friend tried to drown me."

thumb_up thumb_down -29

so a man walks into a bar...... He has a couple laughs over some drinks then went home.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Yo mamma is SO fat, she is classified as fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did a duck cross the street? It didn't. It was hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the Crippled Orphan get for Christmas Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +13

AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q.Why did the black man go to college? A. What does his race have to do with anything?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between a Jew that is half Jewish and a Jew that is fully Jewish? 1/2

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what is a present you would give a werewolves? I said... OBAMA!!! tee hee

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? chickens are very unintelligent, and often walk around aimlessly with no purpose.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops