yo momma so ugly that yo your birth certifiicate is an apology from thew condem factory

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems show me your boobs

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I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

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Knock knock Who's there The police "people began to jump out the back window"

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I like my coffee like I like my women Without a penis

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But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

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Why did Margret eat the banana? She was hungry.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A Blonde, a Jew, a Rooster, and a Mexican walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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Whats worse than cold feet? getting your feet chopped off.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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Hey Tim lets think of a joke

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What's black and blue and red all over? The dead woman in the dumpster.

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You know you're dyslexic when life gives you melons.

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A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ouch!" Later that day, the man's daughter takes him to the doctor because he's acting strangely. The doctor gives him an MRI and the daughter is told that her father sustained severe brain damage from the injury. Now the daughter has to juggle taking care of her father, taking care of a child she bore from a drunken one-night stand, and recovering from her meth addiction at a rehab facility, all while making minimum wage at her dead end job. Eventually she hangs herself, leaving her father and child to slowly die on their own.

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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The Game.

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a man walks into a bar he suffer's bad injuries by Mad

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Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls don't talk.

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How do you survive a snow storm? Kill yourself

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Knock Knock.. Who's there? The IRS, you owe $50,000 in back taxes and we're repossessing your home.

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Q: What did the doctor say to the man with terminal cancer? A: You have terminal cancer.

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Q: What's multicoloured and spins around while screaming in agony? A: A clown in a washing machine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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