How come Helen Keller never played professional baseball? Because she was a woman

How do you know if you've been drinking too much? You find yourself in a closet screaming, "I'm in Narnia!!!"

A priest, an iman, a rabbi, a bishop and a Dalai Lama walk into a bar. Because they were of different faiths, racial slurs were thrown back and forth until they all left. They spent the rest of the night and most of the following day unhappy.

"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a butcher's shop. The priest and the minister each by a pound of pork while the rabbi doesn't because one of the 613 Commandments is that a Jew shall not eat any animal with hooves.

What's black and always in the back of a cop car? The seat.

What's the difference between a bike and a black man? I don't know how to ride a bike.

Roses Are Red Violits Are Blue Screw it RUN!!

Wanna hear a joke? Your life.

How do you confuse a blonde? You put her in a round room and tell her to find the corner.

A man and his son cross the street, the man hears a screaming noise and ignores it, the man gets across and notice his wife missing...

What do you call a room with an oven and ten Jews in it? A kitchen.

Your mother is so black...because she recently suffered a horrible accident with fire and has irreparable skin damage.

What did the redneck say to the Muslim? Nothing, he is too blinded by racial hatred and ignorance after terrorist attacks on the U.S to speak with him despite having common interests, such as baseball.

whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

Acouple of grammer nazis walk into a bar & 'their' treated very poorly.

Q: If a midget walks by a woman stops and says "your hair smells nice today" is it sexual harassment? A: Yes, sexual harassment is a very serious subject and should not be allowed no matter your race, religion, or size.

guess what? WHAT? Idk.

You are walking down the street, and a man keeps on getting in your way. You want to politely... Screw it already and stab him in the back

Whats worse than eating a worm? Haveing a worm die in your penis.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you suck your own dick.

What does Santa and a grape have in common? They're both purple, except Santa.

Why did a black man toss a bowl into the air? Because he just got it from the microwave and it was extremely hot.

roses are red, violets are purple, sugar is sweet, and so are... hmmm...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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