Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just got AIDS, And soon so will you!

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what does hi = good by cause person doesn't like you.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7? A. Because 7 was a scary dude.

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A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

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An elderly lady walks into an elevator. She falls over and I kick her in the head.

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A black guy walked in to a gas station, walked up to the counter and payed for his items with his debit card.

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man 1.have u sen my girl friend man 2. yes man 1. rely man 2. no man 1. dick

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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what word starts with 'p' and ends in 'orn'? popcorn you sickos

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because seven "eight" nine. Yeah, I went there.

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what did the cow said to the other cow? Moo

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knock, knock! No answer, they probably can't hear you, use the doorbell.

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how do make you a child cry? break his fingers

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Two men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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What do Jews, Muslims and Blacks have in common? They are all valuable members of the community and should be treated no differently from anyone else

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Generator? One powers your house...and then there's the generator.

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What's old and wrinkly? old people

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Justin Port#$ falls out of a tree. What happens? he breaks his neck and unfortually dies a long painful death.

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A dad is very proud of his son for just having graduated preschool. he tells him son, ill get you anything you want. he says i want a pink pingpong ball. the dad is confused but he does it anyway. the next year, he graduates kindergarten. the dad asks the same question. the son this time says i want 10 pink pingpong balls. so the dad, very confused, does it. 5 years later, he graduates elementary school. this time he says 100 pink pingpong balls. high school the dad says cmon your going to college ANYTHING! A CAR? A HOUSE? no i want 1,000 pink pingpong balls. the kid then goes to college and 4 years later and majors in african relief. the dad is very proud but he says. lemme guess? 10,000 pink ping pong balls? YEP. the kid goes to africa to help out because he's a good person. he then meets his wife helping out there also. they get married and the dad flies out to africa to see the wedding. he then knows that he needs 100,000 pink pingpong balls shipped in. the dad goes back to the US and 9 months later finds out that he is a grandfather. he ships 1,000,000 pink ping pong balls into africa. a few years later he finds out that his son contracted a rare african disease and is going to die very soon. now the father is deeply in debt from all the ping pong balls, so his community helps him raise money to go to africa. he meets his son on his death bed. and they talk for a long time. the dad finally says. yknow son i really need to ask you, why did you ask for all those ping pong balls? the son says: "Well dad, I--" and then he dies

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What's the funniest part of a tomato? The skin.

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I used to write letters to Black people, then I got an arrow to the knee.

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brainfart

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An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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