Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: Whats horny and likes your leg? A: My dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Did you hear the one about the man who kept losing his memory? I don't remember how it goes... by the way, did you hear the one about the man who kept losing his memory?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

scenario: retarded monkey upside down in a mirror question: why is jims dad fat answer: the mexican chicken is an aperadus

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? I don't know, dinosaurs have been extinct for 200 million years.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a woman with an IQ of 160, and a man who is mentally challenged? The woman wasnt premature and abused from an early age.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what's the difference between a box of dead babies and a corvette? I don't have a corvette in my garage!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Someone left the gate open.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Im ashamed of being from Canada

thumb_up thumb_down -160

What is worse than the Holocaust? a Michael Bay movie

thumb_up thumb_down -22

roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you make an eggroll? You push it.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

ask me if im poop are you poop? no that is impoible

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Um no horses are overrated.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two men walk into a bar. You would have thought that the second one would have seen it.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

If a man is alone in the woods and there is no one there to tell he's wrong is he right? If a tree falls on a women.... Before we tell the rest why was there a tree I the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

poop

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Yo mama is so stupid that her IQ is relatively lower than the average.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats the difference between a garage full of dead babies and a garage full of money? I don't have a garage full of money

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Beating cancer. Guess Steve Jobs they didn't make an app for that.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why doesn't stevie wonder play snooker? Because it's not very popular in the US.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops