What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

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Why did the blonde girl drink lots of water? Because the fat comments got to her and she changed her diet to nothing but water

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time is irrelevant in this scenario because if this question is based in the United States it is highly unlikely an elephant will be near a fence you own, let alone sit on it, an activity rarely done by elephants and usually projected by humans onto other animals.

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? No, the impact of the colliding objects being the tree and the ground causes a disturbance in the silence thus causing a sound. The tree gets too much credit.

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YO MOMMA SO FAT... that it is really beginning to be an issue.

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Have you ever heard of Yoda? From 'Attack of the Clones'?

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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why wont chin ever take his hat off because his head will be cold

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What do you do when someone tries to rob you at gunpoint Well first thing you have to do is think why am I in this situation? Then what can I do to avoid this again Finally think about how you're going to pay your medical bill. You were to busy thinking, to notice you just got shot and robbed.

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Your at a racism seminar. You learn not to call black people the n word but you know they really deserve it

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What do you call burt and ernie if they were black?? A couple of n*ggers

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Robert Palmer: Doctor, Doctor! have you heard the news? Doctor: Yes.

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Why did the japanese bomb pearl harbor? they wanted to weaken the US naval fleet to stop the US embargo on oil being shipped to japan

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so a boy walks into a bar he was underage and escorted out.

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lewis=cardiac

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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what is red white and blue? the french flag

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Guy: Hey, you want to dance with me? Girl: Who me? Guy: Nooo that bench over there...

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What do you call a black guy with Alzheimer's? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

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How do you make a sandwich out of clay? Shape it like a sandwich

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if a tree falls in A Forest, would Robert Smith hear?

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A guy walks into a bar, and then is hit with the full force of all the things he never did in life, of how he wasted his younger years chasing a bigger paycheck rather than trying to live life, and all the love he wasted on people who didn't care about him. He begins to cry as his first drink arrives, and orders many more as the night passes. He loses his keys as he leaves and stumbles home in a drunken stupor, contemplating suicide.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple, not fucking blue.

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What were the murderer's last words before he was put to death by electric chair? "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNFHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................................................................................................................." He then defecated in his pants.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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