What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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a black man pays his child support

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why did your mom die? Cuz i killed her

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Why is a zebra named gorge fat? Because it ate Mcdonalds

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

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How you do stop a baby from swinging around on the clothesline? Hit it with a shovel.

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what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

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What do you call a black man and an Asian at a school? Two hard-working, dedicated teachers.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

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Why did the man enter the fridge? He was hot Why is the man not in the chicken shop Hes in the fridge

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse then two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

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How do you starve a black man? You slowly emasculate him over 400 years through a system designed solely for the benefit of whites, and subsequently he is malnourished.

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Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

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What do you call a really old black person? Someone's grandfather

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What's worse than chicken pox? AIDs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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how do you call someone? use a phone

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whats the hardest part about eating a vegitable getting your mouth around the wheelchair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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