What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

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How do you drown a blonde? Hold their head under water.

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The next sentence is true. The last sentence was a lie.

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A fat man takes a crap, it looked like something a rhino would curl out.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in face! Why didn't she get back up? Because she didn't have any friends!

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Why did the donkey say "Shit sorry I had no idea" Because the batteries shouted: "Nobody told me about your actions here, sorry for the terrible coding format, I am new"

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An English man a Scotts man and an Irish man buy a helicopter between them,they go to pick it up after paying for it and realise that non of them can fly it. so they get a refund and go to the pub.

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A man was mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he look to see if something stuck in the blades. What did he pull out? Nothing, the gas ran out.

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Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

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What do you call an asian man driving a plane? Nothing, you cannot drive a plane you can only fly it

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A man climbs up a tree. Once he reaches the top he is scared and thus incapable of getting down.

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Q: How do you stop a skunk from smelling? A: Lethally inject it.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Q: what did humoure say to lie A: u must be tellin a lie

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So you all no Dora right, well why is she always lost in the forest wit her friend boots? Whats the deal with the map everybody knows maps cannot talk!!!!!!!!!!!! What the heck is wrong with the makers of the show!!!!!!!!

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The awkward moment when a joke doesn't end the way you think it dinosaur.

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Q-if you are what you eat ,does that make you cannibal? A- yes

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What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

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you know why Michael J Fox makes the best milkshakes? no... but his milkshakes brings all the boys to the yard

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Stop. Seriously stop.

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mustang? I don't have a Mustang in my garrage.

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What do you call a black man? Jamal

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What do you call a gay, black, Muslim physician? Doctor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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