I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

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Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

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What did the pineapple say to the orange? Nothing; Neither a pineapple nor an orange contains the necessary muscles to produce speech.

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Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

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What do you call a really dumb girl with downs? Ashley Howard

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How does an asian man drive? He hops into the car, turns the ignition, slowly accelerates from his parking spot and merges into everyday traffic

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Knock Knock Knock" "Knock knock Knock who?" "Just let me in, you twat, it's freezing out here!"

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A man, a woman, and their son were happily going out for a nice family dinner. The family they ate wasn't so happy.

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Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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What did one friend say on his friend's myspace page? You need a Facebook

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how do you kill a black guy ? AIDS

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Q: Why did the kid drop his icecream cone? A: Because he couldn't hold it he lost his arms in a car accident.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a room? This is impossible as dead babies are incapable of achieving such a feat.

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What do you call a black Arnold Schwarzenegger? Arnold Schwarzenegger.

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What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

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A 36 year old Canadian woman.

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Why did you chicken cross the road? C u n t.

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how do u know when your in west virginia? when the houses have more wheels than the cars

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How is matt and alicia going last after summer They won't

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Q: Are their Jews in Hell? A: No, because Hitlers there

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A man walks into a bar, purchases a beer, and leaves.

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Is your refrigerator running? No. That is highly improbable because a refrigerator has no arms or legs, also a refrigerator is not a human being, or alive in any manor and therefor cannot be moved with out an external force acted upon it.

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Why did the man burn his face? He went into a fire. :D

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How do you teach another person's son to ride a bike? You don't. Let his real parents teach him to ride a bike.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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