Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey was a dead. Don't you dare laugh. Asshole.

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flink geit, nei ikkke kneck bena hans jeh er på "forgiftnings avdelingen" third flor deen ask arund I mena i am the ønly guy in the world named Angelo Nero, so ull find me, srsly, got some ritalin on u? Do not respond, u know am not into drugz, but i waanna stay awak, get the detailz, remembeeer if you kicke his nuts, you get paid, if not go back. God jobb gutta, seriøst, kaffipiller ritalin, stimulanter? Not opiats, come with my phon so i can fuuk this netwerk,.. Ps: Okay break his leg, but ust one, hurry up remembr, cut his tungue (it grows bak jes) then tell dem you save him, you can be heroews, goat, tell fingern that when im bak, we are takin a trip on da limo, galz included becuz Mr.Black is the gentz. NO MOR REPLYES whre u? I want my phone not answrs her. Nero is a fucking demoppsn

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What do you do if your batteries die and you have none left? Go to your nearest battery selling retail store and buy some more.

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Why did the lebanese man kill his own family? He had cancer.

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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Q: I have 2 dogs. Why? A: I like dogs

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Right now I'm walking down a road shoot car rhendhhdgfgdyxchdhsggggggggggggggggggggggggg

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A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

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How do you fall off a building... JUMP.

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Why did Alfa Kurtoo change his name? Just say Alfa Kurtoo fast!

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Q: What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: One is a person, one is a food.

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What do a blueberry and a raspberry have in common? They are both commonly used in parfaits.

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I have a knock knock joke. You start.

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A man walks into a bar and says give me a 84 bourbon, when he gets it he spits it out and says this is no 84 bourbon this is a 74 scotch, So he asks for a 68 brandy , when he gets it he spits it out again in disgust saying this isn't a 68 brandy this is a 87 whiskey!, than the old man next to him says here try this, the man says what is it?, the old man just says try it, so the man does, he spits it out and shouts this is urine!, the old man says correct, now tell me how old i am.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Cats meow Dogs have four legs

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Knock Knock Whose there? Its John

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he happened to cross the road

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What did the mother get at the grocery store? Food.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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whats 7+4? 74

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A black man, a jew, a hispanic, and an asian are the only survivors of a plane crash, and end up on a deserted island, what do they do? Die.

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My great grandfather died in the holocaust. He fell off the guard tower.

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Why is Steven so gay? Because hes actually Richard Simmons

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Why don't women know how to drive a car? Because there are no roads between the kitchen and the bedroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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