Like is like a penis long and easy. But women make it hard

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's faster than a black man running with your tv His brother with your XBOX

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was the boy not feeling well? He swallowed a piano.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -John. -Hey John, come on in.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I took a dump in a well don't ask me i'll never tell i look to u as it fell and now its in the well Hey,i just took a dump and it smells like crazy so here's my number so call the plumber Call the plumber

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Who is a pussy ass bitch and is and has a chode? - Jeff Misner

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock. What's up? Oh, nothing much, you? Yeah, you know, same old, same old. Cool.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happened to the chicken who crossed the road ? Quite obviously he got to the other side to be greeted by a 50 foot half man half chicken who had one leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What's the difference between Chuck Norris and broccoli? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems make sense. 5

thumb_up thumb_down -4

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the blind man die? He had eye surgery and the doctor told him when he first opened his eyes there would be a very bright light, turns out he also had alzheimers and wandered onto the train tracks

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A baby seal walks into a club

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Knock Knock Come in. Thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: Why is it funny to laugh at gay men? A: They like men.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How did the boy die? Because he got molested and raped by a pedophile!

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

24

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Once there was Girl whose Teeth were Crooked. She got Braces.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

70% of heroin addicts die at some point in their life.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops