What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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Are you gay. No. Ok.

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A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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>>---------------------------------[ knee ]------------------------->>>

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A platypus walks into a bar, and was the only mammal in the building capable of laying an egg.

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Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

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The man that loved birds so much that he played golf just to get a birdie.

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Brian: farts RJ: Who farted? Brian: Idk Why? Rj: Smells like sweet ass back here

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What do you call a deaf person? You don't they can't hear you.

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whats up with the irish jokes? Honestly im not a alcoholic so all of you can go F*** yourselfs...

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman.

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your mammas so fat she has to buy pants in the xxlarge section of the store

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What do you call a chicken with three eyes? One that flew over the cuckoo's nest.

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How did Pikachu jump off of a 100 story building and survive? He's not real

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What do you call 2 black men next to me. 2 Dead Men

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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N****R = nice israeli girl great education rich

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why did kermit cry?Ms.Piggy knocked him out on Christmas and he slept through the party and all of the presents

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a terrible and painful death on impact.

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Why Did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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