how may i help you

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What do you call a blonde with big breasts? A woman. Some call her "mom".

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What ended my last relationship? Oncoming traffic.

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A man walks into a bar. He pulls out a knife, shoots the bar tender, and then kills himself.

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed here!" A 14 year old walks out of a bar.

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What's red, hairy, and squishy? Helen Keller in a blender.

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So a Jew, a black guy, and a Mexican all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey guys, what would you like?" They all get beer.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at making jokes And your a jew

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it with an axe.

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A man crossed the road. A chicken stood in a doorway smoking a cigarette wondering why whenever he crosses the street his motives are always questioned yet men and other animals are allowed to go about their day normally. END CHICKEN DISCRIMINATION NOW!

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A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: A ladie not working in the kitchen A: WTF dude thats just terrible

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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A raptor and a Tyrannosaurus Rex walk into a bar. Everyone runs for their lives as the dinosaurs ate everyone who was too slow.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A chopped up dalmation...

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Q: How do you make babies cry? A: Throw a brick at it's face.

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Q: What's the answer to this question? A: The question to this answer.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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the danced cus they were young, they danced cus they were free, but mostly the danced cus they needed to pee

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Caroline Kelly...Tight Butthole

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What's clear and smells like alcohol? Probably alcohol, genius.

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SHE GOT A BIG BOOTY SO I CALL HER by her real name because she is a woman and worthy of my respect.

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Autism speaks but not really

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Knock Knock . . . I'm coming in!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops