What did Britney Spears say to the Mexican? Hit me baby Juan more time.

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You tie a noose around your neck, you jump off a cliff and before you hit the ground you shoot yourself in the head.

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What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

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What did Santa Clause say to Rudolf? Nothing. Santa's not real.

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whats the difference between a bird and a turtle? they can both fly but the turtle cant

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None we have mexicans for that

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What is worse than you commiting suicide? the many years of mourning and threapy your loved ones may have to go though

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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heyy emit chase wazzup

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You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

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It's Christmas Eve and your entire family is gone for 12 hours to by you presents. What will you do while there gone? By the time you figured out what you will do you will hear a knock at your door. It's the police they are here to tell you your entire family was murdered during a shooting at the mall. The sad part is you will not receive your NEW Beats, your Xbox 1, or your make up.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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my mom died because she was morbidly obese

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How did the black man cross the road after 5 years of trying to and getting hit by cars every time? some1 put KFC on the other side. MrBounty44

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Q: what is green, red, white, on fire, in space A: i dont know you tell me

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock out a window.

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Why didn't the girl take her hairbrush to school? She has cancer and all her hair fell out.

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Why did the man name his son David? He didn't. It was his wife's choice.

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Why didn't the boy get what he wanted for christmas? His parents had killed him.

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Two men walk into a bar.........ouch.

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Q.Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A.Because chickens weren't invented then.

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Why did the Jew run across the road? To get to the other side.

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Your mom is so fat that when she went to the Doctors, He said she was slightly over weight

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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