There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

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A man invented a time machine that didn't work. Because he wasn't a scientist, he was an ice cream man.

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Oh, no! There is a ginger jew within 2 meters of me!

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because he was insecure in his relationship with his soon to be wife.

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What's worse than catching aids? - already having aids.

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A dying man walked into a shop and started to look at the clothing on display. Then he died.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

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Why did the blonde do at the WTC on 9/11? Die.

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. But Roses can also be White. And Violets should be Purple

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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How many stripes does a Zebra have? Doesn't matter millions of people died in the Holocaust

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What has equally bad consequences as breaking someone's leg in front of the local authorities? Breaking your own leg on purpose in front of the local authorities.

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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Why did the man have a really short temper? HOW THE **** SHOULD I KNOW???

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What did the gay logger do to the tree with a hole in it? Cut it down.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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Two men walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H2O!" The second man says "I'll have some H2O too!" Both men get water, because the bartender knows better than to give someone dihydrogen dioxide.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree, because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree, becuase it was dead. why did the third monkey fall out of the tree, because he thought it was a game!

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Why was Timmy sad? He had 15 large cuban men slapping him for 27 hours straight.

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What did it say on the banner for an international dyslexics support group? Dyslexics of the world unite.

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Want to hear a joke? I'm sorry.

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People...

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Why was the house painted pink? I dont know, why don't you ask the owner?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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