Q: What weighs 6 ounces, is extremely dangerous, and lives in a tree? A: A sparrow with a machine gun.

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If life throws you melons, maybe you are hitting the melons.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Nero? As In Nero7? Septimus? Where you not killed during the raid? I read you got tortured and killed by your own out of mercy.

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What did the mother say when her sons asked for a can of pop? No you have diabetes.

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? Doctors are not allowed to give out personal information involving their patients.

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why did your mom die? Cuz i killed her

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are productive members of society. -Canis

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A man orders 3,687 bricks. He gets 3,688 bricks delivered to him. He throws the extra brick in the air. Ok, so a man is smoking a cigar by a woman with a small poodle. They are both in a plane. The woman asks the man if he could get rid of the cigar because the smoke is making her dog turn green. The man refuses. In anger, she throws the cigar out of the window. The man gets angry and throws the poodle out the window. What lands in the poodles mouth when it's falling? The brick.

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A man walks into a bar... ouch. He received a minor concussion from the impact of the cement wall, and a slight goose egg on his forehead.

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Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? There are many things that could be considered worse than finding a worm in one's apple. In addition, the matter of better or worse depends upon the point of view of the person in question, so what is worse than finding a worm in one person's apple may be preferable to finding a worm in another person's apple.

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Guess What? What? Get in the van.

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I SAID I WANT A GLASS OF JUICE. NOT I WANT TO GAS THE JEWS!-hitler

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was high.

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Hey bill

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A termite walks into the pub and says "Is the bar tender here?"

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Why did the black homosexual blind man want to go to the comedy club? He enjoys a good laugh

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs? numerous abusive terms as you kickk him to death.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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Why some people don't get the flu twice? Because they died!

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Canada's army

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Mr. Burns sex scandal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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