Why did the guy hate the man that said,"I respect you?'' Because the man was Hitler.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? He saw and ice cream truck across the street and rode towards it as fast as he could, sadly it was rush hour and he was hit by a speeding ambulance because he forgot to look both ways.

Why did the chicken cross the road. Because, It can't fly

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come in!

Knock knok ! Whos there? Buhu ! Buhu Who? Why are you crying?

Why did Mexico enter the war? Because they were bombed.

Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

What's worse than finding a snake in your apple? Finding a snake in your apple

Wife: My husband is dead! Son: Sounds like a personal problem.

Why did the red head smoke a lot of meth? He had extreme psychological disorders due to years of abuse from peers and even family. He also had severe ADHD and had an extremely addictive personality type which made him succeptable to drug abuse. After years of therapy and failed family interventions, he dies from a meth OD.

What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A large Albanian man jizzing on the pile.

Whats worse than losing your keys? Your entire family dying in a preventable house fire.

What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

black people

A horse walks into a bar, but is kicked out because animals are not allowed in that bar.

One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

Where was little suzie the day after the house fire? At the hospital, being treated for minor burns.

what is the worst thing to find out about for wife she is your arm

What's greasier than a baby? A burger

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

What do you say to a disabled man in a lift? Have a nice day.

Two guys were sitting in a pub.

A sober Amy Winehouse

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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