How can you make sure your friend wont die of cancer? Decapitate him

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Two farmers are sitting in a cold field. One asks, "Cold day, isn't it?" The other farmer doesn't respond as he has been frozen to death and because of his death, he is unable to respond.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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What is the worst gift a child can get? a gift

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Knock knock stop knocking you idiot, it's the 21st century

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms.

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Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

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why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

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what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

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What has nine arms and sucks? Four children with two arms snacking on a lollipop, and one child with one arm snacking on a lollipop.

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What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

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how many Arabs and Jews can you fit on a bus? The bus in question is a 56 seater,so 56. If you cram some people in the aisles you could probably fit 65 if you didn't care about anyone's comfortability sheesh you might even for in 100 or more.

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Knock, Knock.. Whose there? Its the Census Man!!

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Why did the man fall off the cliff? I pushed him????????

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why was the frog sad..... because it was stappled to the boys face

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

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what do a plane and a mouse have in common? nothing

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Why did Harry Potter cast a spell on Chuck Norris' penis? Never mind.

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TWATFROST HOLOCOSTME sOME MONEY TO GET A BOOB JOB HAHAHAHA BALOWJOB

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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What did the mentally disabled child say to the snowman? Mnnghhhmuhmuhhu ooh ooh ooh!

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What did the little boy with cancer get for his birthday .............. Nothing because he died before his birthday

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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