Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's white and has a crusty nose? Luke Lange

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock Who's There? Bad-mannered Bad-mannered who? F*ck Off

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A white man/women works behing the counter at a 7/11

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is hotter than a lightbulb. The Sun.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats black, and chrispy inside...? A black guy with bonecancer

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q.What Did the Little Kid Say To Cancer In The Hospital? A.Nothing. He Died From Cancer 3 Minutes Ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red paint is spilled on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock knock. Who's there? The police, your child has been in a terrible car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man walks into a bar. Now, that's unheard of !

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the man bad at football? - he is chad henne

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the homeless man steal food from the local grocery store? He had not eaten in three days and was forced to steal or risk possible starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road Cause he wanted to

thumb_up thumb_down -15

No.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

The blonde is in the park withb a rope a man passes and says what are u doing, she says im goin o hang and kill myself. the next day the man comes back and sees the blonde there alive he says i thought u were goin hang yourself she says i tried but i couldnt breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why do Chinese people have flat faces? Air bags.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Yo momma so fat she ate a tape worm which had to be surgically removed because it further increased her health problems. She's still fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A man walks into bar and orders a drink. The bartender says " Hey I saw a bunch of men coming in and out of your house while you were on vacation last week." The man replied " I know. That's because my wife is a prostitute."

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies. I'd rather had the porsche in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops