Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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How many Jews can fit in a Volkswagen beetle? Four, although five is possible if you are not afraid of getting a ticket.

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One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go to the buchter.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You just glass her.

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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Q. What did the Muffins say to the man? A. Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects therefore unable to speak.

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why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

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Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

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Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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Why hasn't little Johnny ever had a clown at his birthday party? Johnny is an underprivileged Hispanic member of the community.

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Are you from Africa because you sure look likes you've got Ebola

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I raped someone in my basement... ...Just Kidding!... ...I dont have a basement

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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What do you call a black man riding a bicycle? A good citizen who cares about the environment.

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Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

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Whu did the boy drop his cheeseburger? Because the school janitor whacked him with a mallet.

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What's the difference between a black businessman and a white businessman? Their skin colour.

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"Whats your favorite number?" "9." "Is it because thats your jersey number." "Thats my jersey number?"

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Q: How did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was dead Q: How did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A: It was taped on to the first one!

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The movie starts off with Tom Cruz jumping out of a plane. He hits the ground and dies, end of movie. - Cole G.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.. unless you're color blind...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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