Why did the little hamster die? Because it had a careless owner who never paid any attention to it. therefor it passed away.

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Row row row your boat Right to KFC Put some kool-aid in your cup And toast to you and me

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John: Spell IT Mike: Q-U-A-D-R-A-M-E-C-H-A-N-I-C-S

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Whats green and smells like ass? My ass. I lied about the green..

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Q: What happens when you sit in the middle of the road? A: You get hit by a car and die a horrible death as your family members mourn in the loss and remain sad forever.

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What did jesus REALLY say while walking on water? "I really hope I find a nice patch of sand to swim in."

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? It isn't numbers are not sentiment objects therefore incapable of feeling fear

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How do you confuse a Blondel? Tell her there's a demon in her liver

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How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None

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(kid is eating a round fruit) friend: Get me an apple too. Kid: I wish I could The kids friend later realizes that his friend was actually eating a peach.

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why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas A bike.

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Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

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What's worse than getting raped then killed? Getting killed then raped.

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How you do stop a baby from swinging around on the clothesline? Hit it with a shovel.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the nazis we have reason to suspect that you are harboring illegal jewish fugitives and would like to check your house if it isn't too much trouble on your part.

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Q. Why did Sarah fall off of the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

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You know why Michael J Fox can dance like it's 1999? because he's a really good dancer.

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Does this napkin chloroform?

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An African american man fell out of a boat at sea. He swam back to the boat.

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How can you tell that a blonde has been using a computer? You can't. There's no common link between computing habits and hair color.

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Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

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Why did the baby stop crying? Mommy shook him.

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What do you call a man named Mark? Mark

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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