What did the orphan wish for Christmas during world war II? Parents What did he get? Bombed.

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Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

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knock knock. "who's there?" dick. "dick who?" dick ferns.

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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What do you call a horse with no legs? Useless.

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how do you have sex? i dont know im under age!

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There was 3 floors in a building. The man outside was watering plants. The man on the first floor was doing laundry. The man on the second floor was peeing out the window because the toilet wasn't working. The man on the third floor was cutting vegetables and accidentally dropped his knife out the window. Now, the four men all went out to tell what they did that day. The man on the third floor said that he was cutting veggies and dropped his knife out the window. The man on the second floor said that he got his wiener cut off. The man on the first floor said that he was just doing laundry. Then, the man outside said that he was watering plants and found a delicious sausage on the ground and he ate it.

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what do you get when you mix peanut butter and jelly? a sweaty black guy

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Roses are Rose, Violets are Violet.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's more disturbing than finding an apple in your worm? The fact that you're eating a worm.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted a car to kill him so he can get to the other side with his wife and son. In other news,I had a very nice chicken cutlet and scrambled egg dinner.

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A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

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A man walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender then lights him on fire.

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"I know it. I can feel it in my nuggets." -Chicken Joe

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how do you stop a black man from drowning take your foot off his head

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Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Um no horses are overrated.

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So a catholic priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a beer.

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney? One is President, the other is not.

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What do you call a kid on crutches? Crippled

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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Whats black and red inside? A black guy

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What did one orphan say to the other? 'Robin get in the car!'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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