Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? Because she has no arms. Why did the little child orphan with no arms or legs get for christmas? CANCER and for his birthday A.I.D.S. R.I.P little orphan

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The boy wakes up and says "I'm feeling kind of fishy today." The dad come into the sea anemone and says that's because you are, Nemo.

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you will now laugh.

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You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

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I hate Mondays, the man said as he drove to work. Fortunately for him, it was a Wednesday.

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The French guy and the Italian guy got in the bar at the same time, but they didn't talk as they didn't know each other.

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did you hear the joke about the lobster and the clownfish? no.. oh.

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Daniel Textor can suck a gooch he's such a F - A - GGGGG!! Let's beat him up at lunch.

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Why did the black man buy a gun?? He enjoys hunting legally

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Who livs in a pineaple under the sea? Lots of mold and bacteria

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how do you kill a bird? tie it to a tree throw a wasp nest at it and run the tree over with a semi filled with manure

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One day a married couple have a conversation. The husband says, "Make me a sandwich." The wife says, "Okay, what do you want on it?"

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Two girls are sitting quietly.

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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A minor, her mom, her aunt and a marine went out drinking...they had a fun night

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Why did the little girl keep running into things Because she was blind

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A serial killer kills a family of 5 He is never found and eventually kills himself from depression

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Obama is a good president, I beg to differ.

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knock knock, whos there? billy i dont know who you are, please get away from my front door before i call the authorities

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What did the mentaly handycap kid get for christmas. A Bop-It

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What do you call a dinosaur with no teeth? He's British

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Come on children, don't dawdle.

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Why can't the toucann fly anymore? Because they're extinct

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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