Roses are red Violets are blue I need a job Stop spitting on me

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Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

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a mom tell her kid not to play with knives ten years later tells her kid not to play with knives and the kid asks y and the mom says because ur older brother killed his father and himself playing with knives so the kid said mom i promise i wont do that then kils his mom and himself

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A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

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Why don't women have breasts? Because they have dandruff. Get it? Hint: "dandruff" = "dan druff"

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What did the vegetarian eat for christmas? Food.

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A man spills his his drink. Like any other man would do, he got some paper towels and some mult-purpose cleaner and proceeded to wipe up the mess. Not a further word was said about the situation.

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Roses are red Tulips are blue Wait, no sorry That's violets.

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BLACK PEOPLE! (im black so its not racist)

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What's worse than being short? Being a Tutsi in 1994.

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Walk in to a room and sing "if you're deaf and you know it, clap your hands!"

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Why is ur cousin gay? because ya dad

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor? Because she had no arms or legs.

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what starts with b and ends with itch pickle

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YOU

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Bible Fact0idz: "Something Drink my blood and consume my flesh and live forever something" Jesus- dead age 30something alcoholism liver problems and diabeetus at time of death, crucified and not been seen since, return pending? Classified Alcoholic. Moral: "YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!"

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why did everyone in the swimming pool move away from the woman... because she had a miscarriage

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A man walks into a bar. Another man walks into a bar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, as I wasn't there, and frankly I wonder why a chicken was anywhere near a road anyway

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What do you get when you come across a blonde. Depression, because you want to do her, but you know that will never happen cause you spend to much time sitting on your ass looking at anti-jokes.

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What is black and white and cant get through revolving doors? A zebra with a spear through its head.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grizzly bear in your apple

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What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

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How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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