what is the difference between a a person and a book? people can walk

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Why did the man get a DUI? Because he was driving under the influence.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?

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WARNING: this is a black joke Why does everybody hate darth vader? he is all black

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So this Horse walked into a bar... Just kidding, it was Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Hope you all drop the soap in prison

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Q: How do you stop a hijacked plane? A: The plane can't be hijacked because the pilots cabin is not accessable until the plane lands.

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A man walked into a bar. He broke his nose.

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Why was the little boy sad? He was recently molested.

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What do you call a black airline pilot? Captain, you big racist.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? Because skeletons are no longer sentient beings and cannot move.

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three friends are chilling one day and they all think they belong in Guinness book of world records the first guys says i believe i have the smallest arms in the world, the second guy says i believe i have the smallest nose in the world and the third guy says i hate to admit it but i believe i have the smallest dick in the world. So they all go down to Guinness book of world records inc. and the first guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST ARMS IN THE WORLD" the second guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST NOSE IN THE WORLD" the third guy comes out all depressed and mad and says "WHO THE HELL IS JUSTIN BIEBER"

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What is brown and has three legs? A horse. It lost a leg in a glue factory.

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Q: What did the crippled deaf kid get for Christmas? A: A motorised wheelchair and a cochlear implant. Good for him.

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What did the friend say to the other friend? A. Hi friend.

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Q: What do you call a dog driving a car? A: A dog driving a car.

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Why didn't the magician pull a rabbit from a hat? Despite his choice of occupation, magic tricks are rarely appropriate in hostage situations.

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Why did the bus drive off the cliff? It's driver happened to be a tomato.

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A blonde enters a bar and orders an elevator.

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Whats worse than dieing of Alhzymers? Anal Rape

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A guy walks into a bar Many people gather around him to see if he is alright and to tell him he needs to watch where he is going.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why does the man leave the store, with two lemons in his shopping bag? Because lemons happened to be one of the items of food he had purchased.

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What's worse than getting bit by a spider? getting bit by two spiders What's worse than getting bit by two spiders? getting raped What's worse than getting raped? a butterfly landing on you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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