a duck, a mexican, a camel, a jew, a duck, a moose, an asian, an ostrich, a turtle, an elephant, a scorpion, two vampires, a pokemon, your mom, Stephen Hawkings, a bird, a plane, mario, your family, and a plumber walk into a bar. They have cancer, AIDS, disabilties, diabetes, herpes, siezures, retardation, death in their families, drug addiction, no arms or legs, no home, no money, racial segregation, and have been raped. A combination of which is worse than the holocaust and three bee stings and a rope that fails.

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Why was the man running? He needed to get somewhere fast.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and determination.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender say, "Sorry, we don't serve your kind here." The man continues to order a drink when he realises the comment was directed at the elephant standind behind him.

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What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

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Q: What did Hellen Keller say to the pizza delivery man A: Stop raping me.

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What did the cow say to his friend? Moo.

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Why didn't the cat play with the ball of yarn? It was drowned in a toilet.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he didn't make it

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Why are children like books? They are highly flammable if covered in gasoline.

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What happened when the man got into the taxi? The driver shot him 17 times in the chest and ran away

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how do you save a baby from drowning? Take your foot off the back of its head.

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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Roses are red violets are blue hes for me not for you if by chance you take my place ill take my fist and smash your face

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What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

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What do u call it when a Jamaican gets angrey? Nothing, at all. Just an angrey person

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How do you confuse a conspiracy theorist? Tell them the government is not real.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot.

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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your mom is so fat that when she walks in America with a yellow coat as they get a taxi

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want to hear a funny joke? what a coincidence so do I!

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your brother so fine that hes skinney

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how do you get a 1 armed moron out of a tree? you wave

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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