Q: What do you call 5,000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A tragedy worse than 9/11.

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Do you know mirror has 6 letters and half of then are r's?

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Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

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Why didn't jimmy get to eat his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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What did the buisness man say to the hobo? Nothing, he threw an apple at him and laughed!

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Q: What are 4 consecutive fart's called? A: Fart's, unless someone gives them names?

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Q:A man has 100 chocolate bars he eats 93 of them. What has he got now? A:Diabetes

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Knock knock who's there I killed your family

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Why didn't Helen Keller learn to drive as a teenager? They didn't have cars back then.

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The doctor comes out of the room and tells the new parents that there is good news and bad news. The couple says they want to hear the bad news first. The doctor says "your baby is black." The couple then ask "what is the good news?", the doctor replies "your baby is dead."

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What's the difference between a dog and a urologist? A dog is a domesticated canine, and a urologist studies urine.

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7am, waking up in the morning Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal Seein’ everything, the time is goin’ Tickin’ on and on, everybody’s rushin’ Gotta get down to the bus stop Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (My friends) Kickin’ in the front seat Sittin’ in the back seat Gotta make my mind up Which seat can I take? It’s Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday REBECCA BLACK FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What's the funniest part of a tomato? The skin.

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A boy found a nickel on the street. So he went to the ice cream shop and bought a gumball with the nickel.

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Why did the blond jump off the cliff? She was paragliding for her 20th birthday.

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whos on the right track? lady gaga

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When Chuck Norris realized that there was a more superior being than himself. What did he say? Suck it Safka

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What did the African want for breakfast? Ebola cereal

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A British man walks into a dental office.

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Why did the mexican cross the road....... To find work so he can support his starving family

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. The man apologizes, and the bra assures him not to worry. They both continue on their way. The man wonders what a bra is doing walking around unattached to a woman, especially this late at night.

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How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side

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What has 156 bras and 927 pairs of underwear? Someone without a washing machine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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