How do you make Chuck Norris cry? Kill his family.

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A: Who keeps knocking on the wall? B: My neighbors have sex a lot. A: We should knock back.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What's funny about cheese? Nothing.

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Why did the little boy lose his fingers? He was left unattended with a chain saw.

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Q: What's worse than one dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? A: One dead baby in ten trash cans.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Vagina Boob

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding poo in your shoe.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

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What is the black mans favorite color? -Time for you to get a watch

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Why did the police officer arrest the baseball player? He raped and murdered a thirteen year old girl.

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what did the dead guy say to the boy? nothing he is dead.

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Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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look at there!! an entire dog!!

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What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

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27

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What does a shortstop do when the ball is by third base? He leaves the field to go to the hospital, his little sister just had a heart attack.

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Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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- Wanna see a magic trick? - Sure - Too bad. I don't know any.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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