Why was the boy dad? Because he was taken advantage of by an older woman during ovulation and impregnated her.

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Jimmy wet his pants in class during geography class. The teacher asked: "Oh Jimmy, why did you do that?" Jimmy answered: "I don't know" Everyone laughed at him and Jimmy went home very sad. And with wet pants.

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The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

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Photons have mass? i didn't even know they were catholic.

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Why did the Asian guy's condom slip? Because the condom was put on the opposite way.

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I couldn't decide whether to buy a pepperoni or a meat feast pizza? So i got neither and my two year old son died of starvation.

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why would you thank the KKK because they killed the president

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? A warm meal thanks to a Charity organization.

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A jew, a catholic and a muslim walk into a bar. The catholic man dies of a massive heart attack and the other two men mourn their friend for weeks.

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A Jewish man with a 20 mile boner walks into a wall. Which body part hits the wall first? His nose

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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A black guy and a white guy are arguing over what race god is. So they go to god and ask what race he is. They never got their answer, because god doesn't exist.

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Have you heard that joke about Helen Keller? No. Neither has she.

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Who keeps knocking on the wall? My neighbors have sex a lot.

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What's the same between a plane a bird and a piece of celery? They all fly except the celery

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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why did chuck norris walk on water? because he's chuck norris

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the batmobile? Robin, get in the batmobile

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cliché rebecca black joke.

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What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

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look at the top of your screen. now look down. I MADE YOU DO THAT

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I threw him

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because it saw some food, or because it felt threatened on the side of the road it was already on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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