What's the similarities between a spoon and a duck. Both are not a lamp

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Knock knock Who's there? An elf. An elf who? An elf who wants to be a dentist.

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An old lady walks into a bar. She was the janitor.

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What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

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Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road? To get to the other side.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders whiskey. An American enters the same bar. He orders a beer. A blonde Frenchwoman enters the same bar. She says "Gimme whatever the Irisman ordered! Double it! He's cool!" She started talking to the American

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what do you call three kkk guys in your house ghost busters

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it's in a chicken coop.

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whats worse than getting killed by a random tomahawk in COD mostly anything because COD is only a video game

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

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A man walks through a doorway but there was a door there so he got injured

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What do you call 20 Investment Bankers buried to their necks in sand? A team building exercise at the beach sponsored by an Investment Bank.

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9/11 was a shocking time for all of us.

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What has nine arms and sucks? An appendage-rich octopus with an inhaling habit.

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Q: When is a door not a door? A: Before it has been asembled or after it has been taken down and no longer maintains the physical form of that which a door typically has.

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What is "race car" spelled backwards? rac ecar.

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to boys are playing football 1 ses pass tje over ses pass wot

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf, any situation with her in the drivers seat of a car would have serious implications.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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20

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What do you call a man with an Eye patch and no arms? Names.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops