Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have cancer.

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How did young Austin get home while walking on the side of the street ? He didnt. He was hit by a car.

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A man offered a little boy a ride home. He drove the boy home where his father preceeded to beat him senseless.

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Uh, Liz, he is staring at the screen... He says you are right and knows, so he cant get mad, ill trust you both, but it better work, or this one is on me. Oh by the way, yeah he is eating, sorry its late here, and I am the only nurse here about now Ironically this place is full of doctors but they dont seem to give a crap about the man that pays their checks. Doctors said no, Nero said "you are fired" Doctor changes his opinion, glad to see he is taking charge around here, I am just worried about his sleep, he is beginning to halucinate and I doubt any stimulants will help. But fine, ill trust you, sorry, really shaking my boots here, I really do not want to, but this is not about me.

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a man was shot.... he died

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What's bloody and has wheels? The Holocaust I lied about the wheels.

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Yo Mama is so fat that she has to wear large clothes.

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No one walks into a bar... because it was closed.

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A few people were put in a room with 5 doors and 4 were a certain death one was freedom and they had to choose a door to go in not knowing which was freedom the first person went in the door on the far left. He got raped by Michael Jackson. The second guy opened the door on the far right. He got in a room entirely made of ice cream. He ate all of it and got such a brain freeze his brain froze. The third and final guy turned around and noticed a door labeled exit. He exited the room and continued his life as a normal person

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How do you kill a Chinese hobo Shoot him

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That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

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What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

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There were 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They all had different colors of hair because hair color varies depending on genetics.

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When life throws you lemons, duck.

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What did Chuck Norris say to the man that asked for his autograph? He happily obliged and continued on with his day.

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

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one day four teenage boys started doing drugs. They jumped off a cliff and died.

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how do you get expelled? Rape a special ed kid.

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Two pandas walked into a bar. The bar was in china.

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How did Swiper steal Dora's stuff? He shot her and then took her backpack.

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What did the downsyndrome get for christmas? Aborted

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What's more easier to break than a thin stick? A woman's neck.

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An attractive naked woman walks into a bar. Everyone is surprised, and all the straight men, gay women and bi-sexual men and women in the bar are sexually aroused.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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