Why couldn't Peter climb the tree? Because he's a fish.

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What did the prostitute get after sex? Syphilis... she got syphilis

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What is the difference between a person with Alzheimer's and Aids? 24!

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What do you call a Chinese man in a cage full of Ostridges? A zoo worker.

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What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

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Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

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Dave: Say "game" ten times fast Bud: Game, game, game, game, gay ma, gay ma, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay

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Why did the kid die last night? because his mum stabbed him multiple times in the chest.

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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Q: What's very loud, has 60 wheels, and is covered in snow? A: A massive car pile up in January that was caused by a women being distracted while Texting. 7 people were killed.

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Roses are red, Violets are blueish, Without Hitler, We'd all be Jewish.

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Silly Sally Dillydallied then lost her job to outsourcing.

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Why does Nathan Rogers never get any pussy? Because goblins have small dicks

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Have you ever tripped over a leaf? No. Neither have I.

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Have you ever seen that clown at walmart that hides from gay people?

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Why did the old man order the little girl into the car? Because he was her grandfather.

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Songs can be interpreted in many different ways you know: "Whenever, Wherever" - Prostitution "You raise me up" could be an advert for Viagra; And as for "love is in the air" - masturbating from a rooftop comes to mind. [L]

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The chicken"

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Some really old band covered Dirty Bit. But the cut out the Dirty Bit part so its just the Time of life part

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Why did the man mow his lawn without his shirt on? Because it was very hot out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops