Why did Suzie fall of the swing? The chain broke.

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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the iPod hand is such a great deal It's only seven ninety-nine..........................................ninety nine for one hundredth of a dinosaur wait a minute...

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Why are we posting shit jokes on here? Because we can't drink!

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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A man walks into a bar. His friend follows him in, but the first man doesn't know he's there. They both order a beer, then a couple strong shots. The first man then notices his friend, and they exchange high-fives. The man's friend says, "Hey, how ya doin?" The first man says, "Okay, I guess, but I forgot the punchline." So the second man orders his friend the strongest drink, and the weakest. He replies, "Me too, Joe. Meeeeee, too."

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Jokes about the Holocaust

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Why didn't the elephant do any tricks? It was dead.

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Colon Right Parentheses For all of the confused people out there that's :)

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Why the kid can't get off the water? Because your feet is on his head

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hi

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What's green, fuzzy, and can kill you if it fell from a tree? A pool table.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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Why couldn't the blonde fix the lightbulb? It was shattered.

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- How can you call a person, who hasn't got a left eye, a left hand and a left leg? - All right.

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Brians mother always told him to reach for the stars. He died the next morning.

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hwhy did the monkey fall out of the tree? he got shot. why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? he was nailed to the first one.

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A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

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What do dogs and cats have in common? They eat dog food, accept for the cat.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks.

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How are friends and bananas alike? If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. So was my son after I beat him to death.

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Why was the poor man poor? Because he doesnt make money

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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