Hey Jim? What? Pass the stapler.

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What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

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A dying man walked into a shop and started to look at the clothing on display. Then he died.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

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whats 2+2? 4

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

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hey

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What did the kI'd with cancer get for Christmas? A coffin.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

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Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

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Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

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Why did Sam have no friends? He was dead.

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Dane Cook makes a joke.

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Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

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A man gets a new job working for his boss. The boss gives him more and more work and less pay. The man finely gets fed up, beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later speculated that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

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Nigel Farrage and the concept of UKIP.

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How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

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A priest, a monk, and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order drinks and keep the conversation to non-controversial topics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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