A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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What is the best game in the world? There is no answer because that would be an opinion and opinions cannont be proved or measured.

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what do you call a gay guy in a sleeping bag? a fruit roll-up. GET IT? because gay guys like fruit roll-ups.

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Why did the monkey eat his own poop? Because there was minimal resources where he was so he resorted to eat his own fecal matter

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"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Its Adolf, we're going to camp."

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What's after 9/11? 9/12

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Q: Why did Sally fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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Rubies are red Some diamonds are blue I have candy so get in my car

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What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

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What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

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yo mamas like a chicken hut all the cock* fly in

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The horses name was Friday.

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What do divorce and a loose bear in a zoo have in common? They both tear families apart

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Why are Asians good at math? Because coincidentally many are interested in it and study a lot.

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Why was six afraid of seven? because seven has cold, dead eyes.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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why did the boys voice get so deep? He just went through puberty

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What do you call a black guy who wins a race? A winner

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What smells like bananas but is invisible? Monkey farts

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69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

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How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

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There's a 4 door kayak going down the street and it loses a wing. How many doughnuts fit in a dog house? And remember its not yellow, because snakes don't have armpits.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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