What is black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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What did the horse say to the farmer who tried to feed him hay soup? I don't like that.

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With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

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Why'd Katie fall off the swing? She had no arms

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Whats, red, blue, green, yellow, feels like popcorn, looks like jello, tastes like hydrogen peroxide and smells like burning logs? i dont know. i was asking you

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What did the German say to the Jew? Welcome to Germany we hope you enjoy your stay

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Why did the black man shoot the white guy? the white man was about to hurt the black mans family.

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How did the magician make it look like there are 2 books on the table? By putting 2 books on the table

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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Who let the dogs out? The pet shop.

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Whats worse than than falling in a puddle on the way to a meeting? Getting shot while your at that meeting.

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There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

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what did the girl say when she lost her shoe where is my shoe

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A straight man walks into a gay bar and is amazed by the amount of fun he has and how cool people can be when you don't judge someone based on sexual preference or your own religious beliefs.

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Whats green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? A girl scout that got hit by a car

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Why did the boy cross the street He didnt he got hit by a plane instead

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Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

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Did you hear about the black guy who got into college? Actually, there are nearly 10,00 African Americans who get accepted into college every year. This specific black male is notable because of his stellar grades and his activity in his community.

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she cant use it, she is fat.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She had no arms.

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what makes margaritas good. illegal immagrants in the basement.

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Why are spanish people good at soccer? Hard work and a long-life time comitment

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Q: Why is the earth round? A: I am Batman.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I don't know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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