What would Steve Jobs be doing if he were alive today? Dying.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but you're getting too close And I'm about to file a restraining order, so back up, maybe?

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

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Roses are red. Violets are grey. People hate me. Mongoose.

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Q: What do you call Justin Bieber with a penis? A: Darn good plastic surgery.

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How do you kill a deer? You don't, you just let it be because that's what a decent human being would do.

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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Q: What kind of punch do vampires drink ? A: None... It's really blood, you should know that by now.

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what do you call an elevator full of white people. a box of crackers

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raising eyebrows to expose eyes can also be a signal of attraction ('I'm looking at you, gorgeous. Can you see?').

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Whats the difference between a sandwhich and a dead baby? People eat sandwhiches.

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A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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What is worse than tripping over a stone, and falling face first into a dog shit, Not much..

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Why couldn't the black guy support his family? He was only 3 years old.

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GUYS LISTEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WANT THIS TO BE THE MOST DISLIKED JOKE EVER !!!!!!!! PLEASE :) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Q: What's worse than finding 1 worm in your apple? A: Finding 2 worms in your apple Q: What's worse than finding 2 worms in your apple? A: The Holocaust Q: What's worse than the Holocaust? A: Finding 3 worms in your apple!

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A woman is hit by a car. Thankfully she manages to survive, but the driver is fined a lot of money for speeding.

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"Solids tunderf" he said, while chewing his gum.

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How do you find out if your son is ok? Ask him.

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What do u call a bunch of white dudes siting on a bench ......the NBA

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Women's rights

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Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

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What the problem with writing an anti-joke? Trying to not come up with a punchline.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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