Hey guya im a female stripper and if you want to have some fun call me 8633972535 thanks. -Tyler

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what do the parents of a starved family do? kill their kids chop them up into little pieces and eat them.

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How do you find a date? Look on the calendar!

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Well, it depends on how many Jews there are and what kind of car it is.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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If your flying upstream in a kayak and a wheel flys off, how many pancakes can fit into a dog house? None, because ice-cream is alergic to frogs!

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Why can't Tommy ride his bicycle? Because Tommys' bike has a missing pedal.

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What's up? The sky. What's down? Your mom: she was stabbed

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Wanna know something fishy? A fish

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Please, not the nails.

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When you see it... YOU'LL HAVE AN ORGASAM.

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A young boy walks into a catholic church, he attends mass, and leaves.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

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Roses are red Violets are violet Jesus Christ how dumb can you get.

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Why was Helen Keller deaf, blind, and a woman? She was a bad driver.

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what did the cow say to shabab?....... want some milk

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What did the buisness man say to the hobo? Nothing, he threw an apple at him and laughed!

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Why did the nun cry? 12 babies were killed under her care.

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What do you get when you cross a rock and a paper bag? A rock inside of a paper bag.

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Why was the Magic: The Gathering player a virgin? Because he was underage and it would have been immoral for him to have had sex.

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What's white and horny? a unicorn.

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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