What do you call a Mexican on a boat? A sailor

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea. That would depend on what time you are reading this. As i have no control over this, I am unable to inform you of China's current time. Perhaps you should look into a watch, world clock, or some other device capable of telling the time. That is not the Purpose of this website. However, there are numerous other places for this. God luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can, and only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Why is this an anti-joke? Are you laughing? Exactly.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey! Got any grapes?" The man then realized he was hallucinating because ducks are unable to speak proper english.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Usually, the bad (anti) jokes are the ones that don't make you laugh. Sometimes you laugh "with" the joke, other times, you laugh at the joke itself because it is a paragon for human failure. The jokes on this website are not exempt from that rigid stipulation. However, it should be noted that all the "jokes" on this particular website are actually hilarious because of the latter reason delineated in the above paragraph. Additionally, this joke was created by a machine and thus the originator of this work is by no means able to learn from the process of trial and error and therfore can make myriad unfunny jokes without compromise.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Throw it off the top of the Empire State Building.

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How do you give Salley enough energy swim against the river current? Add your own electric current.

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What's the difference between a joke and an anti-joke? - I dont know man, but you're adopted.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot. You racist bastard.

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Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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Are those two people having sex? Yes, I think they are.

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what did the big chimney say to the little chimney ?? your to young to smoke

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Do they have a fourth of July in England? Yes, but it is just a sad reminder to them that all the cool people left for America.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

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What did the asian parent say to his kid when he got a D? -It's OK son, you will do better next time.

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Me: Hey, Johnny! Do you see that Tree? Johnny: No. Me: Neither do I.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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How do u get a clown off of a swing? You hit him with an axe.

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What's more fun than nailing babies to a wall? Ripping them off again.

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What did Little Jojo get for Hanukah? Nothing he is Muslim.

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What has one eye, three arms and one leg? A really weird person.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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