Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it's in a chicken coop.

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"hey woody can i ask you a question" "sure buzz" "why is it your name is woody but they use me as a vibrator"

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Your mother is so rotund, in fact she went to a weight loss clinic... but gained weight

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

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How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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A duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said the the man running the stand hey ba ba ba got any grapes? the man said no but i got some shut the F*CK up!

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What did the over-baring Chinese couple say to their son who got an A- in algebra? How do I know? I don't speak Chinese!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, So what is the colour violet for?

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How do you get rid of door knocker? You run at them with a chainsaw.

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What does the Priest say to the little boy? Size doesnt matter

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why does column have a letter n?

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A girl walks into a bar she is then drugged, raped and left in a back alley. To this day she still has psychological issues that are directly related to this event

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Your momma is so fat that she decided to begin an exercise program and eat healthy and she lost weight.

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What rhymes with turtle? Rape

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Why are black people good at basketball? They practice

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he saw a Vladimir Putin.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Her father beat her

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What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

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Women's Rights.

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How do you stop a group of black guys from fighting? go over to them and ask them politely to stop.

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A man walks in to a bar, He sits down and enjoys a pint.

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A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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a man runs over his wife, who is at fault? -The man he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops