When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Dead.

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Non-Anti-Joke.com!

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Knock Knock Whos there? It's me Ben. You just told me to come over. We are going jogging aren' we? Oh ya, sorry. I forgot the time. Is it cold out? Ya, it is pretty cold. You should bring a jacket. Ok, let me go get my jacket. Alright, can u grab me a water please? Ya sure. Thankyou.

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Why did the bear eat the asian? It was hungry

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What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and trampoline? Well, children jump on one to obtain enjoyment, while a pile of dead babies is a sick tragedy.

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knock knock who's there? the milk man the milk man who? the milk man who brings your milk every morning

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.

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your mom is so ugly, when she throws a boomerang it doesn't come back

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Potato.

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I have a horse.

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How do you stop 5 black guys from raping one white girl? You call the police.

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Bill:Ask me to do something. Bob:Go get me a beer Bill:Would you like fries with that?

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What's worse than a woman driver? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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What did the atheist say when he was in the church? The eulogy for his best friend.

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What do Jay Williams, Lebron James, Candace Parker and Maya Moore have in common? They were all winners of the Morgan Wootten Player of the Year Award.

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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person 1 - what's big, green and ugly? person 2 - don't know. what's big, green and ugly? person 1 - nothing is

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why does king kong so fat? because he eats to much

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panda bears are racist to mexicans-they are black, white and asian

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Your so ugly That when you look into a mirror it shows an accurate potrail of your unproportionit face

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Why was the black man unemployed? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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