j.p. is dumb

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Bugsys back back back again with a brand new track cumming on megs back back back with a new boxing cap cap cap, stealing millions from banks having a wank coz hes a lanky cockney mong

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why is the chicken dead? It tried to cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's worse than a papercut? why do you insist on asking me these questions?

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

sadf

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: What do you give a woman with everything? Nothing. You own nothing to give.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

OMG this totally works! Step 1: Hold your breath Step 2: Die

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock knock? Whose there? Who's. Who's who? No you used the wrong form of who's.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

your mothers so silly she saw a rock and sat on a chair.......?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Paper or plastic? Yes...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did Michael Jackson cross the road? He didnt he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a black airline pilot? Captain, you big racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

The Tiarajudens is a Permian land-walrus.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

there is a man swimming in the ocean with a tree in the ground eating him up so , the cantelope asks the microwave where is the store the microwave says nothing because it is an inanimate object and cannot speak even though the cantelope can which is unfortunate

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many men does it take to change a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Macy's was having a giant sale.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you tell a black man walking down the street with a suspicious look to him. Hey, how's it going?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops