Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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So this farmer had theses two amazingly fast horses, one named slokey and the other pokey. They would run in the pasture and bring many people to watch. So one day this man says hey, you should enter them in the county derby. So he does and the whole race its slokey, pokey slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. So after the farmer collects his prize money a man walks up and says, hey those horses are pretty fast, you should enter them in the state derby. So he loads his horses up to the capital and prepares them. When the gates open slokey and pokey dash out of the gate. The whole race its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After all the press conferences a man says, hey you should enter those horses in the kentucky derby. So the farmer enters them and drives down to kentucky. The gates open and the whole time its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After the press meetings a man says hey you should enter your horses in the european derby. The farmer says no, im going to retire my horses. One fall afternoon pokey says to slokey, man, i wish i could have won a single race. So they race around the huge pasture and the whole way its slokey, pokey, slokey pokey, and pokey wins by a nose! All the farm animals go crazy and the farm dog says "congratulations pokey you finally won!" And pokey says "HOLY SHIT A TALKING DOG!"

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did you know that zach is the coolest person ever? no? well now you know

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Yo mama's fat.

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There is a knock on the door. Little Jimmy comes dowstairs opens the door and standing in the door way is the axe wielding manic fromTexas Chainsaw.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had cancer.

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whats worse than dropping your toast butter side down ? being ripped apart from the anus upwards by a large black man

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what's the difference between ya mum and a cow? nothing. by mad james

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven the first muffin turns to the other and says "Its pretty hot in here." the second muffin jumps back and yells "HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

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what happens when a white guy goes to harlem he gets robbed by 5 to 10 black men

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One night a man layed on his bed and looked into the skies, then he realizes: WHERE THE HELL IS MY CEILING!?!?!

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Why do blind people laugh at this joke? Because they can't read it and everyone else is laughing.

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How do you kill a blonde? Repeatedly stab a knife into her jugular vein

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A drunk guy walks out of an AA meeting.

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what do call a girl with a waterslide nose? Ava Sherman

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One,two,skip a few... five,six,seven,eight...(and so on ad infinitum)

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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If you are going down the road in your boat and the pedal falls off how many cheese burgers can you eat 21 because a motorcycle doesnt have doors.

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We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You have my heart inside of your hand As you've just now inexplicably ripped it out of my ribcage.

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Roses are red but violets arent blue!!!!!

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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why are black peroples noses so big ? because thats where God held them when he spray painted them

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What did the father say to his gay son? "Finish your homework."

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ronald wants to join a gym, they tell him to lose 20 pounds before coming back or else.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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