When life gives you lemons, That's physically impossible. Life cannot physically hand you lemons.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

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Does anyone know any good ways to piss off an Grammar Nazi?

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Why is the little boy sad? His parents died in a car crash.

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What's black and white and red all over? A piece of discarded newspaper previously covering the half dismembered torso of a dead prostitute.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

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- Do you want to hear a joke? - No. - Ok.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a retarded failure

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My dog has no nose! Then how does he smell? Terrible!

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Does 2 + 2 = fish? No.

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Q: What do you call a pair of dead babies lying on the ground? A: Slippers

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Why did the kitten cross the road? Because its owners abandoned it.

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What do you call 100 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A weird kind of genocide.

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whats funny and has four wheels? A handicapped 11 year old boy getting raped by his father

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Depending on the amount of saliva you produce each lick the answer to this question varies species to species.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his kids.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is an active member of a taliban.

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Why did Jake fall off his bike? His mom threw a fridge at him.

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why was the little girl crying? because her dad hit her.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him, "Would you like a drink?". The horse cannot understand english and is confused by its surroundings. The horse gallops out of the bar knocking over a few stools

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Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

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milk,eggs,butter,deodorant,chocolate syrup,chile powder,dildo,bacon

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what did the jewish kid get for his birthday......Striped pajamas

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Why was the man waiting at the bus stop? He was on his way to work

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops