A POW is sitting in his cell when the guard walks up to him. He says "You may choose one of these tortures, drowning or listening to Rebecca Black." The POW chose Rebecca Black, for even though he disliked her music, it was much better than getting drowned

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A man walks into a bar. The other one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? ..He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A mute says to a paraplegic: You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

thumb_up thumb_down +46

There's a black guy in a house. What's he doing there? He owns it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you get them out? Tortilla chips

thumb_up thumb_down +24

how did helen keller break her arm? reading at 100 miles per hour

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Yo momma's so dirty that she washes her hands with anti-bacterial soap.

thumb_up thumb_down

How did Barry Bonds break the career homerun record? A combination of natural ability, practice, and a plethora of performance enhancing drugs.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock Knock Who's there? Kevin. Kevin who? Kevin Smith. Oh yes, Kevin Smith that lovely boy from just around the corner! Come on in!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q:What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A: A bike

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the nun eat for breakfast? Baseballs.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did one tampon say to another? Nothing they were both stuck up.

thumb_up thumb_down

A street performer was sitting on a curb playing guitar when a black man walked up and put some money in the guitar case. The street performer nodded in appreciation of the man's donation and continued to play his instrument.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what's the difference between babies and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you make time fly? Well! You cannot really make time fly. Imean, yeah, iguess it feels like time flies when your having fun, but it moves just as fast as always!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is shaped like a duck without a beak? A duck that I punch the beak off of.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

you know what hurts, a revolver bullet in your brain.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If she is old enough to bleed, she probably uses tampons.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Gingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Steve

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops