An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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What do you call a woman not in the kitchen? Her name.

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Why did Hellen Keller masturbate with her left hand? Because her right hand was tired.

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Your Mom is so fat... I'm sorry I didn't mean that.. I have abandonment issues.

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Why did Justin Beiber fall out of a plane? Because i pushed him off

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What do you call a horse with wings? Nonexistant. Welcome to the real world kid.

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What did the boy reading a book do? He finished the book and took it back to library.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he found out the oreo he slept with last night had aids and he wanted to make sure he didnt get the deadly disease so he went to the doctor to get tested.

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What did the woman say to the jew? Do you want an almond?

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Q: How do you make a black man nervous? A: Threaten to kill his family.

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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That awkwad moment when a homeless man runs naked around a golf cource yelling hears the 19th hole bitches.

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There are two bears in a shower. One bear says "pass the soap." the other bear says "no soap. Radio."

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dry handjob

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Knock knock Who's there? Impatient Hellen Keller. Impatient Hellen Keller who? ...

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Curiosity killed the cat and was sentenced to prison for animal abuse.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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What is the difference between a mom and a dad? One is a mom and the other is a dad. Why couldn't Fred see the board? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an African? A baby.

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What do you call a nun who is just walking around? A Roman Catholic

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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Knock knock. Who's there? Knock. Knock who? Knock knock.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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