How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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So I'm balls deep in this turkey dinner....... then i proceed to ejaculate into it and ruin my family's Thanksgiving along with their perception of me.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Zebras.

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I am a joke. I am funny.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? She didn't have arms

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In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

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Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

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So there are two skunks in a bath tub. One of the skunks says to the other, "Would you please pass the soap?", and the other skunk says, "What do you think I am, a talking radio?!"

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Your mama's so fat.... I ran around her twice, And got lost

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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What happened to the chicken crossing the road? She found a male chicken, had many babies and lived happily forever after.

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How many Facebook friends does George Bush have? None because he doesn't have a Facebook.

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Q) How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Auntie.

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A Priest and a young child walk into a dark alley.... It leads to a church and he talks to the young boy about God

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Why didn't the Baby wake up? Because it was dead

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Somebody call animal control, there's a horse in the bar." The horse is then taken away and made into glue and dog food.

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why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

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Q: What's worse than death? A: Nothing.

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What's yellow and dangerous? China.

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what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

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Why did everyone call the one-legged man Matt? Because that was his name.

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A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

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What do you call something that has two legs, arms and is bloody all over? My ex's new boyfriend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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