why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it was hit and killed by a vehicle, much like all animals that try and cross roads. created by KA

What did the moose say to the photographer? Moose say cheese.

"I think your a hoe" "Don't worry, I know I am!" "You wanna F*** me?" "Hell Ya!"

Why wasn't Jesus born in Poland? Because if he's an actual historical figure he would have been born in modern day Palestine.

Knock Knock, Who's There? Not Ann Frank because she died in the Holocaust along with 6 million other innocent people.

what is the difference betweeb 69 and 77? 8

what has 9 legs, 4 feet and is orange? nothing.

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

Sometimes an alligator will bring you apples. Sometimes it won't.

What did Helen Keller say to her mother? Nothing coherent.

Yo Mama's so fat when she fell out of the tree she hit the ground very, very hard.

Your mom is so fat that she enjoys junk food regularly.

A postal worker creeps past a sleeping bulldog. The dog does not wake up, and the mail is delivered successfully.

Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

what do you call a tall black man with big ears? orangatang

Why do Vampires Sparkle in the Sunlight? They don't read a proper Vampire Novel and see for yourself.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

A biology teacher walks into a bar. "Ouch," he says. "I bet I just lost some brain cells. I wonder if any of them were going through mitosis..."

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his crotch... The bartender calls the police as the man is arrested as piracy an act of robbery or criminal violence.

-Your momma is so ugly, she wasnt a model. -Am I supposed to be caring?

What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

Whats blue, sticky and glows only during the morning? IDK -Lets go Mets

What did Stephen Hawkins say to President Obama? He didn't his computer did.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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