You want to hear a joke. Sure. A black president. Oh wait...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, STDs are contagious. Careful who you screw!

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What she says: “You’re really sweet, but I have a boyfriend.” What she means: “You’re really sweet, but I definitely don’t want to date you.”

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What do you call a man with a convex isogonal nonprismatic head? Rhombicosidodecahedron head.

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I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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Q: What's worse than getting jury duty? A: Getting herpies from a rabbit

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Your mom's so hairy, she should go to the barber!

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Jason's Wife said to him I love you before I left to head to work, Jason then went back inside to see no one was there and he remembered his wife died in 2009.

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And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, "The one whom I kiss is the one you seek. " To which they responded, "Gay. "

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where did juan go after getting hit by a bus? the ground

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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Whats invisable and smells like a apple? An invisable apple

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Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

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why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

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Why did the homosexual man buy the antijoke book he enjoys reading

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How can you avoid being hit by a car? Don't get in the way.

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What requires lots of rubbing, dirty pictures, and leaves you happy for a little bit, but then you realize you're sad and lonely? A minimum wage job where you clean pictures.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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Q. how many Americans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? A. usually it only takes one, but if the ladders is unsteady he might need one or two friends to help hold the ladder

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How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

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A cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. Well, okay, it doesn't actually order it. It more of meows in a begging fashion and the bartender, being a kind individual, gets the lost animal a bowl of milk. But who's to argue semantics?

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your mother is such a nice person that most people enjoy her company

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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