roses r nice violet are fine all be the 6 and you be 9

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A straight guy, a straight girl and a bisexual guy walk into a bar. The bisexual guy is twice as likely to find a partner from a purely statistical point of view.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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Bob: Why did the chicken cross the road? Angus: To get to the other side... Bob: No. Chickens are unaware of the dangers of the road, and it was ignorant of the oncoming traffic during it's aimless wandering.

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What's the difference between a horse and a house? 1 letter.

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How does an Asian person get overweight? By eating food with a great amount of calories and not burning then off in time.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven drove two planes into the world trade center.

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A woman walks into a cave, and the entrance collapses. She spends two days in the cave. She comes close to death, due to lack of nutrition, but is thankfully rescued by a dog walker. She spends several days in hospital recovering. The experience really opens her eyes to life, and she learns not to take her loved ones for granted, and to really make the most of her life. Finally she is allowed to go home. The next day, she is hit by a bus.

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what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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If Oscar Meyer had a dog, what breed would it be? A golden retriever.

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charly ate an apple. the apple was filled with poison and charly died.

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Why did the little boy leave his bike on the side of the road? He was kidnapped and his body was found 2 weeks later at Penn State

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There was a man with a job and kids. One day he came home from his job and went to sleep. He never woke up because it turns out he had a heart attack.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Umm... Why would it not?

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What do you call 100 black men at the bottom of the ocean? A scuba group because during these hot summer months they like to cool off and go scuba diving.

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If Dwayne the Rock Johnson was short who would he look like? Dwayne the Rock Johnson.

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Q: What did the dog say to the cat? A: animals don't talk

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I'm not wearing any underwear. Why? Because I am have built in underwear. ;)

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A whole 'nother.

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What did the pedefile say to the child? Get in the van

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Why did the girl scream in terror? Because her parents are being murdered.

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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My friends are like trampolines I have none

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops