What did the deaf-blind kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A guy walks into a bar. He goes to the hospital with a severe head injury and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

John and Sarah sitting in a tree. K i s s i n g. First comes love. Oops theres goes john-- he's falling---he's falling... he's broken his neck and ruptured his internal organs. D e a t h

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why don't women like to have penises? Evidently women have different tastes than men in what body parts they enjoy having.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Your momma's so fat, when Jesus said, "Let there be light!," she had to scoot over.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did Batman tell Robin before he got into the Batmobile? "Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the penis say to the other penis? What? Penis motherbucker

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Hey, there are 206 bones in the human body, would you like 1 more? ;) If you are referring to your penis, that is made of tissue, so it is not an extra bone. And no, I would not like your penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats bigger than a tuba? the universe.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

how do you kill a rat skin it and feed it to your child and wait till it shits then when it shits feed it to your dog then when it shits then microwave it and shove the smelly liquid remains up your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a person falling off a cliff Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -53

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down +1,212

The answer: He is dead! (read it throughout so you cant go wrong) Question: So why cant a man in Italia marry his widows sister? Moral: Had yet to read one like this one...

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's worse than a piece of food stuck between your teeth? I don't know, what? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down

What has 156 bras and 927 pairs of underwear? Someone without a washing machine.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Helen Keller cross the road? BECAUSE SHE WAS A BITCH!

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I wumbo, you wumbo, he she me,.WUMBO!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What sound does a baby in a blender make? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A hitman and his target walked in the same bar togather what happend? nothing because a hitman has better things to do and the target would lay low.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

I used play skyrim...but then I realsied I had a lot of exams so I had to stop

thumb_up thumb_down +16

My mother has chlamydia. That's it.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops