How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

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Knock knock. Who's there? The landlord. You're being evicted.

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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

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what's the fastest way to have someone murder you tell your wife you are cheating on her

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Life is like the Titanic. You cruise along on course and everything is great -- until you hit an iceberg and 1,517 people die.

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What do you calla baby nailed to a wall? Art.

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i like turtles

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black And so was six because they were written with black pen

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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What did the falling bridge say to the other bridge? Well bridges can't talk but if it could it, then it would say AHH! I am falling

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What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

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Knock Knock Who's There? The I.R.S.

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What does the lifeguard do on his free time? Ejaculate.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Roses can also be white And violets can also be purple

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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HAHAHAHAH Shut up Andra no one likes you

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There was this women at a banana festival, but she didn't like bananas. So she split

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Q) A Christian, slightly disabled but perfectly capable man has a packet of Jaffa Cakes. He strolls casually toward the edge of a cliff, rapidly checking his watch. The man slowly examins the packet before gradually opening the packaging. First the box, then the packet. He quickly throws the jaffa cakes over the edge of the cliff, Why? A) The man doesnt like jaffa cakes

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What's black and blue and red all over? A baby right after I kill it

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Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

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Top Gear USA

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How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them

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T-Dog scare me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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