Q: How do you give a frigid woman an orgasm? A: By making her come.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the Billy flunk the test? His parents were killed in a refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One is plastic and dangerous to children. The other holds groceries.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Skrillex.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red violets are blue I am in 301 Club and so are you.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

WOMENS RIGHTS

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I felt like kicking something.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Were can you find a bag of meth?

thumb_up thumb_down -33

yo mama so stupid i'm fairly certain she has a learning disability.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's old and has wet pants? My grandma with a bladder problem

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A casual web surfer logs onto a website and reads half a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's black and blue and red all over? A baby right after I kill it

thumb_up thumb_down -13

My trip to Italia: Italian most: WELCOME TO ITAAAAAAALIA! YOU WANT THE PIZZA YES? Me asking my then Italian girlfriend: Are all Italians so loud? Then girlfriend: Yeah kinda... Her brother overhearing us: WHO! GAVE! YOU THE BALLS! TO JUDGE US! Me: Uh I am just surprised at... Her bro: I SAID WHO GAVE YOU THE BALLS... DONT LOOK AT ME! Me: *looking down at the ground somewhat ashamed* bro: LOOK AT ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU! NO! DONT LOOK AT ME! I will let you go for this time yes? Next time I will take you outside and beat you up okay? LOOK AT ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU! AND DO NOT LOOK AT ME! Conclusion: Wow you Italians are bad ass... I mean hell this is was a real life experience of mine, I was just a teen back then but I got a headache and threw up ending up in bed later... Fact: I am nearly two meters but walk with a hunch, the guy was half my size but still broke me down, wow Italians are bad ass...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because without the aid of various ligaments and muscles that would be attached to the average human being's skeleton, he was not able to move himself so much as an inch.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Ask your friend: Will you remember me in a week? Will you remember me in a month? Will you remember me in a year? Knock Knock. Who's there? How did you forget me already?!?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is brown and sticky? A chocolate ice cream made with too much margarine and not enough of the ice mixture used to make Mr Whippy

thumb_up thumb_down -36

I said I hate niiggers

thumb_up thumb_down +6

You: Want to hear a joke? Person: Yeah You: Me too

thumb_up thumb_down +10

If it hadn't been for Cotton Eyed Joe My wife and kids would still be alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call something green and fuzzy? Grass, I lied about the fuziness.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

If you like this song so much why don't you marry it? Because a divorce would be tough on the kids

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why does people with tourettes curse so much? Fuck should I know?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops