Hellooooo whos there? Its me fred Fred? A Canadian

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What is the same about a girrafe, and an ant? They are both REALLY tall. Except for the ant, sorry I lied.

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Roses are red, Wait. Why start this poem when you cant finish it Refrigerator

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Angus is so Scottish he wears a kilt when it is socially appropriate.

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What do you call a man holding a bible? A man holding a bible. What do you call a woman holding a bible? A women holding a bible. What do you call a man and a women holding a bible? A man and a women holding a bible.

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I went to visit my friend last week (not a guy, guys as friends? Thats just gay, I mean you fuck all of your friends right?) And she was really happy and stuff right? I mean REALLY happy, and the poor thing was depressed for like 8-9 months or something. So I was like: ARE YOU HIGH RIGHT NOW? >:( She said: YEAH I AM HIGH ON LIFE! I looked down at the ground, it contained a full box full of syringes and needles! So I grabbed the whole thing and threw them out! So then I learned what Insulin was anyways. Ps: Depressed, pregnant... Not sure anymore, it was like two weeks ago or something.

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Why did the black man perform well? Because he was a well trained musician by the name of Stevie Wonder.

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Why was Cathy sad. Her husband Drew was killed by a land mine on a peace keeping mission to Iraq.

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Why didn't grandma ever return Johnathon's calls? Grandma was brutally murdered 2 years prior. Johnathon had issues believing that she was gone. He went on to live a life of pain and suffering, which would eventually lead to suicide at the age of 24.

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-Knock Knock -Come in!

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what did the asian say to the other asian "where both asian"

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What did the dog say to the cat Nothing dogs cant talk

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What's the difference between a tomato and a rhinoceros? Neither of them can ride a bicycle.

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Anything Dane Cook says

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What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus? A godless abomination that violates every ethical standard known to man.

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A man walks into a bar And compliments the bartender for his great service

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Knock, knock -The door's open.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun And you don't,

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YOUR MOMMA IS SO FAT WHEN SHE JUMPED FOR JOY........she didn't get stuck because there's nothing to get stuck in.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

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Why was the penguin popular? He cuts himself.

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three men walked into a bar, the fourth one ducked

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whats yellow? lots of things.

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would you rather harry styles my dick have harry styles suck my dick or both of you style on my harry dick?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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