how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What starts with a 's' and ends in 'ex'? Sex -XH

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A cowboy rides out to the middle of nowhere and then shoots his horse. He then makes his way back into town and meets a man in the saloon. The man says, "On second thought, I'd like to buy that horse."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why is the apple mushy? Because a car ran over it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

yo momma is so ugly, she attempted to get plastic surgery and then died from the amount of blood loss she got when the surgeons realized her head was filled with tumors and they failed to extract them.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A man commands his dog to sit. However, his dog is poorly trained, so does not.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you get when Chuck Norris meets Chuck Norris? A bad joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man punches a 3rd grader in the stomach. Not long after he is arrested and no longer is allowed within 500 feet of a public school.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

In Soviet Russia You drive car, because a car driving you would be screwed up

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why do Asian Women have small boobs? Because anything under A is unacceptable.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

thumb_up thumb_down -47

What do you call a Mexican that doesn't have a lawn mower? An honest working induvidual that just so happens to live in the city and does not own a lawn mower

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Joe Paterno dosn't walk into a police station.-South Park

thumb_up thumb_down +18

ive been a naughty girl, and i need something to plug my hole. call or text me;) 1 (802) 299-5281

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q: whats big gray and cant swim A: a castle

thumb_up thumb_down -15

There are 100 men enjoying a cruise to celebrate an important contract going through at their place of employment. The boat then suffers a major malfunction and tragically sinks to the bottom of the ocean, miles from any land masses. Not a single man died, how is this possible? They all used the lifeboats supplied on the boat and followed the standard procedure to deal with such a crisis.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

This is a joke. Laugh!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

"Grandpa, How did you know that Grandma was the one?" "When her sister dumbed me."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

The indistinguishable bug corrupts a bond arrow.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Dave: Say "game" ten times fast Bud: Game, game, game, game, gay ma, gay ma, I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did the milk say to the oatmeal? I came from a cow nipple.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops