Why doesn't Santa Claus change his socks on Christmas Eve? Because he isn't real.

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Me: Why are red onions actually purple..? Dad: I don't know Sister: *sarcastic* Well, Why is it rainy in London? Me: ....Because that's the weather pattern.

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nick and a mexican were in a falling plane.. nick ate the mexican... that is all..

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I am aware that my positivity makes me do some bad mistakes, but if negativity is the alternative I will keep taking my chances.

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A black teenage girl wants to get a job, unfortunately she is chained to a fence, beaten, and called a dog.

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours? A: Because she was dead.

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Why is Timmy a dumbass ? He's not, because asses cannot, by definition, be intelligent, so it is unnecessary to qualify it as "dumb".

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What did the Blind man say to the deaf man? Nothing, he doesn't know sign language

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Why couldn't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has parkinsons and therefore couldn't keep his hand steady.

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knock knock who's their panda panda who shut up I never said yo name and don't call me black

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Why did the dog get arrested? He didn't the people responsible for causing the dog fight got arrested for animal abuse.

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I saw a kid watching Harry Potter so I asked him "Do you like Harry Potter?" he replued "yeah" so I asked "do you want to be Harry Potter" he said "yeah"... ...so I killed his parents and locked him in a cupboard.

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how did the bloop cross the road? to get to the other side

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Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

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Roses are black, violets are black, i am blind!

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9

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your momma's so ugly that she currently deals with an overwhelmingly self consciousness view of her appearance to the point where she has contemplated suicide and it is in your best interest to seek her medical help in order to preserve her heath and overall well being.

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Q: What's worse than finding out you have genital herpes? A: Finding out your grandmother gave them to you

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why did the car crash? Because the driver was just a box of raisen Brand

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What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

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A man is driving and hits a woman. Who's fault is it? The man's: pedestrians always have the right of way.

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I Wish... I was Charlie Sheen's Dealer

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Whats worse than sourcraut? Casey Anthony.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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