a blonde walks in to a bar, the bar tender gives him a free drink because he's a man and it's nazi germany

Why did the cat bite its owner's? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

Why do witches ride on brooms? Because they have magical powers!

A woman went outside for some fresh air.

Roses are red. I had no clue. I like pie. So screw you.

Why did the white man kill the black man? Because he was a racist that didn't care much for black people or their ways.

Your momma's so fat that when she looked in the mirror she broke down crying and threw up in the toilet because she is belemic.

Ever see a man say goodbye to a shoe? Yes, once.

Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? Because he wants to hide the fact he knocked up a chicken.

Q: Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? A: The backyard gate was left open

Look at the statement immediately below. Look at the statement immediately above. Hahaha! You cannot read this text! Therefore, the following joke fails to qualify as a joke and is therefore an anti-joke by virtue of constitution: Yo mama!

Roses are red Violets are blue Cats meow Dogs have four legs

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because people kept making the same joke about her not having arms so she was hoping the fall would break her neck.

Q: Why did the Mexican mother leave her baby in the hot car during summer? A: Because she was irresponsible and forgetful.

what did katness save her Life? because peter hates her and katness is peaches and peter dies in the titanic because it is gay shut up becky

You know those people that learned the true name of God, as God asked kindly... ...Well you know God can be nice sometimes but he actually COMMANDED they keep his name secret forever? They became the first people known as Jehova`s witnesses... JEHOVAH<<< SECRET NAME ANYBODY? So much for keeping his secret name guys! They claim that only a few thousand humans will ascend to heaven, in other words all of the JEHOVA`s witnesses... All two billions of them or something... For keeping his name (Cough JEHOVAH) secret. SUCCESS!

how do you get a chicken to sleep you slit it"s neck,and feed the body to your pet tiger

roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

A Jew, Catholic, and a Mexican walk into a bar. The Jew leaves first for an unrelated reason.

What did Santa give little Susie for Christmas? Nothing, he raped her.

My Muslim friend is always late to everything. We call him 9/12.

Whats green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

A person from Singapore eats

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...