Your mum so fat, she died of a heart attack

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How do you kill a Jew? The same way you kill any person. It could be gunshot, strangulation, hanging, poison etc. They are the same as every other human being, so you would kill them just like any other human being.

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why is ur dad an alcoholic? he drinks a lot of alcohol

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Why were corners made? For crying.

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Person A "did you hear about the cure for AIDS?" Person B "no." Person A "neither did I."

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How much booze did the homeless man drink? All of it. He is severely depressed.

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Why was Timmy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped.

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Face...the other white meat!

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What do babies suck on? juice boxes!

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Have you heard the story of the empty room? Theres nothing in it.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Obama is a good president, I beg to differ.

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Roses are gray, violets are gray. I am a dog.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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What worse than seeing a worm in your apple? Half a worm in your apple.

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What's a cow's fovorite vacation spot? Farmyard animals do not receive vacations, they have long hours, no pay, and get eaten upon death.

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So a man walks into a bar… and gets a bad bruise and a big bump.

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how do you call someone? use a phone

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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Why did the man smile at his wife? Because she had a silly looking face, like a fish.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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