What is Osama Bin Laden's favourite colour? Doesn't matter. He's dead.

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Why did the young teenager cut class? To cut himself! Get it?! Its a pun!

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As little Timmy crossed the finish line his heart raced with excitement he had just won the big race. Later he and his family went home to celebrate they had pizza and chips and soft drinks. Then they played scrabble and watched spiderman 2. After that Timmy went to sleep. When his parents found him that morning they mourned and mourned because their hero little Timmy was still asleep.

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What did the Holocaust survivor say when asked about their memories in the deathcamps? A: I'd rather not think about it.

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IKR! and I hear rondo and wade were in a fight too!

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Why is this anti-joke here? Because someone submitted it to this website.

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whats the difference between my mom and your mom nothing they are both sluts

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What's worse than accidentally flooding your bathroom? A Tsunami

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What do you call a cat with no tail? A Manx cat

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Q: Why was the mexican mowing the lawn? A: Because the grass was too tall

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Two birds were sitting on a perch, one turned and said to the other, "Do you smell fish?"

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Why couldn't the boy turn around in the hallway? Becasue he had a javelin through his head

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? Dead babies are not sports cars

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knock knock.. who's there? ted? ted, who? STOP f***ing around, you got cancer!

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When my brother was hanging at YOUR cross, he asked "daddy" "Oh father why!" Then lightning struck and the weather went to fuck. Moral: WHAT KIND OF RESPONSE IS THAT YOU PIECE OF SHIT!?

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you know whats funny?! nine eleven!

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How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

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Whats fleash color flesh color and fleash color? a hodo rolling down a hill.

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When would you find a Mexican, Asian, Black and white guy hanging out? Never

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I really hate poultry related jokes.

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Hello.

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Q: Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? A: Neither did she...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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