What do superheroes say after they save someone? Whatever the hell they want.

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Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

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why did the man steal change from the tip jar? he wanted another state quarter for his collection

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There is a asian, mexican and a blonde boy at school. Every day they each get the same food for lunch. The asian always got noodles. The mexican a taco. the blonde boy got pb and j. They decide if they get this lunch again, they will jump off a cliff. The next day they get the same lunch and jump off a cliff. At their funeral the asian mom says " if i had known, i would have made her sushi." the mexican mom says " i would have made her a burrito." The blonde's dad say "hey don't look at me, he makes his own lunch."

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A rooster is sitting on the top of a house. It lays an egg. Which way does it roll? This can be solved by using the dimensions and angles of the roof to find the most probable direction it would roll (Incorporating in the power of gravity of course). Of course if the egg from the roosters uteris came out in an akward or unlikely way, it could roll the other way.This can be factored in very quickly because with the video evidence of the rooster having the egg you can see how it was delivered(the video is not of which way it rolls, just of the delivery).

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Guess what my dog can do? Bark.

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Whats Funnier than 24?........ 25

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I was going to post some witty jokes, but then I realized they weren't funny.

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What did the friend say to the other friend? A. Hi friend.

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes? A: Fsh

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how do you wake up lady gaga poke her face

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Do you know what killed the cat? Feline AIDS

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How did the chicken perform the bank robbery? It was crossing the road and cluelessly walked into a bank, and EVERYONE in that bank had Chickenphobia so they just GAVE him the money...

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How do you make a man sad? By drowning him in a Bede.

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Why did the cat die? Because it got shot by a teenager who was promply put in juvi and was fined $100,000 for animal abuse. The parents gave up on him and didn't pay the fine or bail and left their son to rot in jail.

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you want to hear a joke? the goverment.

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Whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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a man walks into a bar. he orders a single drink, enjoys it, and drives home feeling a bit tipsy, but he was still able to operate his vehicle without an accident or a criminal charge.

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How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

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Think of a number between 0 and 2 That's how many times you're going to die in this life

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What time is it? 10:58

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Your mother is so fat that she will likely eventually develop diabetes.

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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whats the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? i dont have a ferrari in my garage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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