I have an idea! You leave.

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A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

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What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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Did you hear about the sale on the toyota cars from japan? if you can get it out of the water its free!

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whats red with blue spots and is highly inteligent? an apple. i lied to you and am sorry

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? -absolut vodka Well, you have a sirious drinking problem...

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What did the cowboy say to the alien? Nothing, this is a dream. Wake up.

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Whats red and you can't see it? No Tomatoes

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What's blue, and smells like fish? A firetruck, I was kidding about the blue and fish.

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Why was the prostitute unsuccessful? because she had no vagina

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Yo mama's so fat that she should probably go on a diet to avoid the risk of getting a cardiovascular disese.

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Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

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What do u call a joke with no punchline? A joke with a kickline

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Fire is red Water is blue Earth is brown Air is transparent

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How do you eat a sandwich With yo mouth bi tch

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Pope: how to help the unfortunate people my fellow Christians? Christians: We should give donations and a lot of support. What we always do. Pope: and i shall wear this golden hat, sit on a high quality super expensive chair, this rope with gold attached to the decorations, and wave my golden staff as you help these poor innocent children. Christians: yes...that... Pope: P.S: and live in an expensive church with many children alone.

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knock knock who's there? it's I, your son. ....... what? dad let me in, it's cold! i don't have a son.... but.... i love you... get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

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What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

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why did the chicken cross the road it was being chased by the man from the chicken slaughter house.

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What did the the Priest do to the young alter boy? Blessed Him

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What do you call a blonde in a library? Lost

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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