"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "GESTAPO! AUFMACHEN!!!"

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Chuck Norris can speak Japanese. Believe it or not he is actually multilingual, he speaks Spanish and French as well.

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Why did the man mow his lawn without his shirt on? Because it was very hot out.

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Yo mama so ugly people don't like to look at her.

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What is black and white and can't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a harpoon through her back.

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Well, a test is a well thought-out series of questions, usually used in schools to determine a students final grade.

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Why was the black man running? Because he was playing capture the flag.

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This is not a joke.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question.

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Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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what is worst than 1 bee stings two bee stings what is worst than two bee stings holocaust what is worse than three bee stings getting raped by a giant scorpion

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Q: When do you know you've had to much to drink? A: When the zebra in your belly button starts talking to you

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every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

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My friend was driving me home from a party, and was quite drunk. I was relieved that we did not get into a car crash.

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis.

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Punchline.

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*Look Down* Nice shoes, wanna F@#k?

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A boy walk in. What did you think I was gonna add "into a bar"? Also, boys under the age of 21 aren't allowed to drink.

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If a wheel falls off a bus whilst travelling down a river, how long does it take to shingle a doghouse? None, because there are no bones in cottage cheese.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is blind and is therefore ineligible for a driver's license.

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Dimes are silver Pennies are brass Why does your face look like an a**

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

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Do you work at subway? Because you are giving me a footlong. Yes, please, on white bread, with turkey, ham, white cheddar, and all of the vegetables. Maybe a little bit of sweet onion sauce and sub sauce. Sure, that will be a combo with chips. Thank you very much.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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