Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

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I heard that you could burn punds so I found a fat kid and set him on fire

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Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful busness man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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What did the monster under the bed say to another monster? I have the odd feeling that someone is on top of the bed.........

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There are only three kinds of math teachers: teachers that can count and teachers that can't count

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A priest, rabbi, and a monk are sitting on a plane. One is in first class, one is in business class, and one is in coach. It turns out they're all going to the same interfaith conference.

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Roses are red Violents are blue Oranges

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Why did the elephant paint his toenails orange? Because he wanted to hide in the pumpkin patch

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whats is big, black, and has big boobs. a big black guy. the boob part was a little white lie

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Yo momma is so fat that she is large.

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Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive? A:Because she is a woman A: She is blind deaf and dumb A: No seriously because she is dead.

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knock knock Who's there? Someone who wants to save you from the shitty dinner your lazy wife made.

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What did the convicted pedophile do to the ten year old boy? He molested him.

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* Are you deaf? * Yes, as I love paradoxes.

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas. Nothing. He was Jewish.

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69 :) 3====D:). [{}]:)

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Ask me if I am a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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Q: why can't women drive? A: because there is no road between the kitchen and the bedroom

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What did the amputee get for Christmas? Shot.

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3 guys and 2 women walk into a bar and sat down........... good to see both sex`s were welcome in the bar

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Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths and thus suffered from survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

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If 25 cows walk in to the grocery store, what do you have? A scared manager. MOO!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was raped when i was little.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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