Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

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Yo mama so fat that when she goes to the movies she sits next to everybody.

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When geese migrate, why is one side of the V longer than the other? There are more birds on that side.

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why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

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If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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Humpty Dumpty didn't fall I pushed him

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Who did sally vote for in 1920 Nobody woman couldnt vote until 1928

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DON'T expect the unexpected, you don't want to KILL the unexpected ;-)

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What do you call a homosexual in the army? A brave and honorable person who should be applauded for their service to this great nation

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Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

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What's worse than a dead baby? A baby.

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How did the dead baby cross the road? stapled to the chickens foot.

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why was the witch in the broom factory? she was recently employed there and is loving her job maing brooms

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Female Athletics

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If an illegal immigrant fought a child molester, is it Alien vs. Predator?

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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A man adopts an orphan. He waits till the child is a teenager to tell the news. He then commits suicide as to scar the child emotionally for the rest of its life.

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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What is white and black and red all over.

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Why does six love nine? They both get pleasured

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Why did the boy not eat his ice cream? He was addicted to self afflicting. The blood from one of his newer slashes oozed out on the cone which being wafer slowly got soggy. At this point the ice cream slid out of the cone as it was soggy and as he went to eat it, he found an abssence of ice cream. After this unprecedented occurance he gave up with his self harming, so all was good.

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What did the boy and the dog do at the park? Nothing, the dogs dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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