- Anti Joke

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Your momma is so old, she has lived a wonderful, long life and witness a lot of human achievement.

What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil armstrong Neil armstrong walks on the moon...Michael Jackson molests little boys

One day a priest walked into a prison to bring lost souls to the Lord.....Not his best idea.

A man walks in the a bar Now he has 3 missing teeth

How do you put a baby in a blender? Feet first, so you can see its expression. How do you get a baby out of a blender? With chips.

How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

What is the best thing in the world? The opposite of the worst thing in the world.

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

what do u get when you cross a monkey, a sock and wheels? A: a sock monkey. I was kidding about the wheels

Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

Why was the black man afraid of leaving his house? Because he has severe agoraphobia and cannot function normally in society.

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

Q:Why did the bunny run up the hill? A:Because he can't run under it.

What do you call a black man in jail Your dad

Disregard Females, Acquire Currency.

Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are all dead

Why did the boy get hit by a bus? HE didn't. He watched where he was going.

why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

I don't drink. I'm not 21.

Your mom's so fat, I tried to rape her but couldn't find her p**** and gave up. Instead I decided to take her out to dinner. We enjoyed a lovely meal and I spent the rest of the night trimming her fat with a vegetable peeler while she screamed and bled all over the floor.

Let's say you're inside a building and you are lost. You need to find directions to get out. But the building is so big almost like a maze or labyrinth. You start walking until you see 2 doors and each door is guarded by a man. Now in between the 2 doors is a message on the wall. It says: "Dear friend, I assume that you are lost and want to get out. There is hope! You have an option to choose one of these doors guarded by these men. You may ask one of these men which door leads to freedom. However, 1 guard ALWAYS tells a lie and 1 guard ALWAYS tells the truth. If you are to choose the wrong door, you will be locked in the building forever. So choose wisely and ask the right question. Good luck! Sincerely, the owner of the building." So you think to yourself and try to figure out what the hell did you get yourself into. This is a very tricking situation. You have one liar and one honest man. How can you tell which is lying and with is telling the truth? After minutes of confusion and thinking, you have finally decided to ask one guard a question. ----spoiler alert----- So you ask the guard one question. "What would the other guard say is the door to freedom?" The guard said "This door" You choose the opposite door and you are now free. The End [Explanation: You have 2 doors. Let's say door A is losing and door B is winning. If you ask the liar what would the other guard say, he we lie and say door A. So you pick the opposite door, which door B and you win. Now if you ask the truth teller what would the other guard say, he we tell the truth and say the same answer, door A. So you pick the opposite door and win]

What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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