A man walks into a doctors and says 'Doctor, Doctor, I have a bad stomach ache' Upon hearing this, the doctor writes the man a prescription for medication and wishes him a swift recovery.

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Why am I righting in english? Because this is an english site.

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There is a cat with a collar animal control takes of the coller and and says who cares it's not Our fault there cat is an outdoor cat the girl who lost her cat was crying all year long spending all her money wishing for her cat back and wishing that there was no such thing as animal control That girl was me and I'm against animal control

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Why didn't the woman make sandwiches? She was making baguettes.

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If life give you lemons, throw them at people.

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How do you get 4 Jews in a car? Open the door and tell them politely to get in.

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Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

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someone tell england that a depressed guy smoking a cigarette is not a movie.

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I have a horse.

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a giraffe walks into a bakery, "can I have 101 brown loafs please?" the baker answers: "hmm I've got only 100 loafs is that ok too?" the giraffe says: "why the hell would I need a 100 loafs?!"

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Where did suzie go for her Birthday? A van

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What did the dyslexic boy get for Christmas? A laptop. And he was very happy.

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Life gave me limes. Now how am I suppose to make lemonade

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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What happens when you cross a kangaroo and an elephant? Absolutely nothing. The two belong to entirely different animal families and their reproductive abilities are totally incompatible. A kangaroo could never fertilize an elephant, or vice versa. To suggest anything else is unrealistic and a physical impossibility.

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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Are you from Tenessee? I heard you were from there

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When ducks fly in a V formation do you know why one side is longer than the other? Because there are more ducks on that side.

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What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

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What's the difference between a duck and male black prostitute? The duck is says quack

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Why are female badgers more attracted to the smell of cheese than male badgers? I don't know. Ask Bill Snodgrass

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How do people from Indian Hill laugh? Like an Indian, huh, huh, huh!

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What's big and purple? Barney

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what's the worst thing ever? reality TV shows and singing contest shows

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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