Why did the man laugh as he sat in the electric chair? He was being tickled by the guard.

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9/11 my birthday

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? Can I have fries with that?

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A homeless man comes home from work.

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Why did the mexican immigrant have no friends? He lacked social skills and was unfamiliar with American mannerism's.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Pete. I'm here to tell you that your entire family just died in a car accident.

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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Roses are flowers.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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What do you call a a chinese abortion? My dinner

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What's green and can read your mind? Nothing. Some people thinks the answer is a plant but don't listen to them because they are wrong.

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What's the difference between me and a ghost? Ghosts aren't Dolphins!

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Knock Knock!! Who's there? Dyphis, say goodbye to your kids.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is a chicken and is not intelligent enough to know that he is about to be hit by a bus while hopelessly searching for food under an elderly man's nose.

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what do you get when you see jonny cry-a monkey lol

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Why did the man try to lick his elbow? Because he read a chain email saying no one could lick their elbow and he wanted to see if it was true. You will probably try to do it now too.

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One night a kid heard thunder and got scared. So he went to his parents bed and asked he could sleep with them. His mom said " Sure just don't look under the covers." He said okay and he looked under the covers and said " Daddy, why is your snake in Mommy's garden?"

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I used to be an Adventurer like you, but then i took and arrow to the Elbow.

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A guy is playing cod

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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