Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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Q: what happed to the squirrel that lost his nuts? A: it died

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Wanna hear another joke? Wes Trillows penis!!!

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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what happens if you set micheal jackson on fire nothing he is 6 feet under incased in concrete if he wasnt hed melt

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What do you call someone who explores wild cave systems? A spelunker.

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Why did the little girl keep running into things Because she was blind

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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Q: What do you get if you combine a melody, instrumentation, rhythm, and vocals? A: Um, music, you idiot.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year old's? I am twenty one and prefer older ladies as I find them more experienced and mature.

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What is worse than finding an apple in you worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the Mortgage company. You haven't payed your loans. The man loses his house and becomes homeless.

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Me-Whats long and hard and full of seaman Him-a submarine Me-No dumb ass a dick

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What do you get when a bulldog and shitzu reproduce? A litter of extremely cute puppies.

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Whats on my leg? A pimple. What is it doing? Releasing a white/clear puss.

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Roses are rainbow. Violets are rainbow. Everything is rainbow. Thats why you don't take LSD.

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whats black and blue and red all over? my wife shhh!

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have stage IV Ovarian Cancer.

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what's worse than the holocaust living jews

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homosexual

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how many cookies did the fat kid eat? a perfectly reasonable amount of cookies.

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knock knock whos there? police police who? police your house is on fire and your kid just died from broncitisand i just farted and u get a tickit because u answered the door naked

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What's big, hairy and smells like sweat? The big show after a hard days work in the ring.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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