Two men were patients at a mental institution. One was named Dave, the other named John. Dave very quietly said, "Hello, my name is Dave, and I have a violent form of phonophobia, so please do not-" "DICK!" Dave promptly strangled John. John had Tourettes Syndrome.

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A man asked another man what he was doing the next day. The man then proceeded to tell him that he had not intended on having any plans due to the fact that he was planning on killing himself within the next twenty three hours.

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why did susy fall off the swing? Cause she has no arms knock knock Who's there? not susy

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

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Q. How are a bird and a turtle alike? A. They both fly. Except the turtle.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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There was this fruit joke, but it had no punchline.

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where are the maternaty clothing in walmart???? The C section

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What do you call a man with a cigar in his mouth. A person with bad health and dirty teeth.

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What do you call a young child being beating to death with a spiked club? Arousing.

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An blind orphan in an impoverished Irish village develops both AIDS and terminal cancer. You laughed a little at that. You are going to hell.

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Do you want to hear a bad joke? A bad joke

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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Q. What's large, solid, and full of veins? A. A man or woman who frequently engages in weightlifting and follows a diet primarily based around high protein and low carbohydrate intake

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What's another name for asexual reproduction? Parthenogenesis.

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when life givs you lemons, make lesbian porn

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A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender, millions of times larger than the infinitesimally small subatomic particle, does not hear his question and so does not reply.

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What's the time when black men take over? Poor past never.

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Why did the man stop suddenly in the street? His unhealthy diet, alcoholism and smoking habit caused him to have a heart attack at the age of 56. He died because of it.

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Why doesn't the fat kid have any friends? Because he is fat.

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"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

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Yo mama's so stupid, I told her it was chili outside so she went outside with a spoon.

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So a chef, a soldier, and a lawyer are riding in a plane. The pilot has a heart attack and they all die.

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What did the homeless child get for Christmas? Jumped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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