Whats red and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket Whats blue and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

69

What did the fat confused man say? I am confused.

Q. What happened to the girl who locked her keys in her car? A. I raped her.

What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

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How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

knock,knock you suck

Whats green, furry and it stole christmas? A Robber with a Christmas tree on his back

Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed off his entire family.

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

so a moose walks into a super market and asked the lady where can I find the potatoes the lady says isle five so the moose goes to isle five and there aint no potatoes.

Q. What do you call a dog thats deaf? A. A horribly abused domesticated animal that needs a kinder owner.

Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they have an in depth understanding of astrophysics and interstellar travel.

A rooster lays an egg on the tip of a roof. Which side does it fall to? Roosters don't lay eggs

nothing

Why did the gambling addict go into the casino? To use the bathroom

how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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