what`s green and flys a plain i was kidding about the green

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How do you milk a cow? Pull on its' utters.

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If the camel has seven toes and the armadillo has thirteen, why does your mom pleasure herself to a picture of George Clooney ?

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What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

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Friends are like potatoes. I don't have any potatoes.

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What's tall, has a really long neck, and eats leaves? My tall vegan neighbor's giraffe

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why was sally the best at hid and go seek they couldn't find her body

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Why do policemen wear belts? To hold up their pants.

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What happened when the boy got sad He fell in a woodchipper

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What do u do when u hear about a smart Blonde. Cant think of anything? Exactly

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why did the owner of Google decide to name the company "Google"? google it..

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im black

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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what did the jew get for christmas? nothing Jewish people don't celebrate christmas

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the awkward moment when you have a boner on your boner

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What is the worst part about being a blonde? Random green painted strangers throw forks at you claiming it will confuse you, because they got it off of an anti joke website!

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What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

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a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman walk into a bar. they all wish me happy birthday bearing gifts. except there's no rabbi. or priest. or shaman. I'm not in a bar. I'm in my room. alone. i spent most of my birthdays that way.

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Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

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Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

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Why do black people eat at KFC? Because KFC serves good food at reasonable prices.

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A black guy wearing a mask runs into a store, points his gun at the cashier, steals some money and runs out. The police start an investigation the following morning

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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