A Jewish man, black guy, and asian all walk into a bar. Can you guess which one got arrested? That's right, the criminal

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock knock *runs away laughing*

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Coach: Hey, you missed the team meeting today, but I wanted to let you know we've had a number of changes to the lineup. Player: Really? Who's on first? Coach: That's right. A man with the unlikely name of Mr. Who is on first. We also have Mr. What on second, and Mr. I Don't Know is on third. The rest of the team is the same. Player: Oh. People have weird names now. But I'm sure they're great guys. Thanks for explaining that. Coach: Any time. Don't mention it.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between a bike and a black man? I don't know how to ride a bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Dont you guys just hate it when someone puts a stupid joke on anti-joke?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Lets just say that we are beyond the stage where I am "just" trying, by the way, you might want to search that last comment for double negatives. Or you know NOT NOT. Do not take my word for it, but if I am not wrong, the bacteria (yogurt) leaves afterwards, so you are eating milk that has been eaten and then.. You know... A common "side effect" of hypnosis, is that when it is used, the one hypnotized (both in this case) end up feeling a "strange" case of closeness, stronger bonds, friendship etc, scientists wonder why... ITS LIKE DUH! WE BOTH REVEAL DEEP SECRETS TO EACH OTHER! THINGS WE DO NOT EVEN USUALLY TELL OURSELVES! Its a literal no brainer, scientits can go fuck themselves, because as far as I know, thats the only fuck they ever get.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a Mexican with a lawnmower? The guy I'm thinking of is named Pedro. He works hard and takes care of his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why didn't Erick have a party last week? Because his grandma died

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Who has a higher pitched voice than the average man? A woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

roses are blue, violets are red. I am color blind

thumb_up thumb_down -23

My mom says to me are you gay and i say are you gay (What did i just do)

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Terminator XXXIVXXX Regensisysydioniosis. Watch as the terminators return in this year`s summer blockbuster, they return to a time before the birth of Connors grandfather and manage to destroy the world, then the only decision left is for humanity in another timeline to travel back as the terminators are destroyed, but they travel back again so that! But that wont happen before Terminator: Los Pollos Hermanos.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what kind of mexicans are NOT in the U.S. -legal

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari. A Ferrari isn't in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Your momma's so fat, that if the word for fat was "plachow" I'd say "yeah your momma, she's a little bit plachow."

thumb_up thumb_down +32

There were three men named manner, poop, and shut up. they all were mad fun of in middle school and ended up hating their parents for giving them such retarded names.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

how do you drowned a blonde? put ankle weights on her and throw her in a river.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what do you call a mexican being baptized? a mexican becoming christian.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What do you call a gay dog? Steve

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Alright then, call me sometime then.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops