muffled-thud muffled thud who's there? Jeremy Beadle.

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When Life Gives You Melons... You're Probably Dyslexic.

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident

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How do you make your house smell bad? fart

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In Capitalist America, bank robs you!

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What happened to the alcoholic? He got liver cancer

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why did the man choke at the lunch table. Police there is a banana attacking me what should I do?

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So this guy's taking a hooker back to a hotel room, right? The woman turns out to be a federal agent investigating prostitution in inner-city inviornments, and the man is promptly arrested. He is now subject to a large fine and 90 days in a county jail.

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What's gay and Jewish? Henry Shine

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i love antijokes

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How did the blonde girl fall down? She didnt see where she was goin

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a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded at sea,the brunette swims 1 quarter of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns.The redhead swims 3 quarters of the way to shore, gets tired and drowns. The blonde swims half the way to shore, gets tired and swims back.

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Why did the teacher arrive late for class? Because his father had a stroke the night before, and they had to rush to the hospital and because of exhaustion, he missed the bus, and arrived ten minutes late.

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Geography Teacher: What caused the earthquake of Japan? Me: Godzilla constipated too hard, and it caused an earthquake. Tsunami was the result of his poo. Geography Teacher: then how do you explain the after shocks...? Me: Godzilla shat his pants after the toilet

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Whats a black and white and red all over? i dont know...who spends their time researching this kind of stuff

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What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

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What do you call a gay man flying an aeroplane? A pilot.

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What did Sir Mix a lot say to the girl with a big butt? Your very beautiful.

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When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

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TIMMY

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What did the blind kid say to his dad Nothing , his dads dead

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Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Q: What did zero say to the eight? A: Nice belt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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