Two scientists are working in a lab. The first one asks, "Do you want some sodium?" The second one pours acid into the first one's eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Wizard: If you could get any one thing in the world, what would it be son? Son: Another father that grants more wishes.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the Germans conquer Poland so quickly? Heavy military manufacturing and Blitzkrieg battlefield tactics.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A blonde walked into a phone pole.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

YOLO

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't the bear go snowboarding? It was hibernating

thumb_up thumb_down +5

If Johnny has 5 apples and Susie has 7 apples, will they give them to the homeless?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped covered in semen.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than discovering that you have contracted HIV? Stumbling upon a mass genocide. HIV's pretty bad though.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you do when you have 2 eggs, but only want to use 1? I don't know. I guess you could just use 1 of them and save the other for another time?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

So this one time at band camp... a flute gave me an STD.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What was the proctologist doing on the street? A: He was observing the assfault.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A bar walking into a mans house, then the blonde says stupid words like why did the chicken of the sea cross the road and pigeons go moo moo like a cow.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the deaf man attend the music concert? He was invited by friends and wasn't doing anyhting else that evening.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q.why did the chicken cross the road A. To eat some Kentucky Fried Chicken get it KFC

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's the difference between peanut butter and jam ? Among many things, one is made with peanut butter, the other with fruits.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

the guy on tv right now isnt funny. i blame canada

thumb_up thumb_down -50

A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock. Who's there? The interrupting doctor. The inter-- --You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What comes after 69? mouthwash

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q:what did the 14 year old girl from Tennessee say to her dad when she lost her virginity? A: Get off of me

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the FBI agent say to the CIA agent. We're both agents

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? A tree stapled to a baby

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happened when the man killed a baby? He was captured by the authorities and sentenced to life in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops