Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 was a sixoffender!

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Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

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. . I am a whale

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Why was the man arrested? He had brutally stabbed 398 people in a 10 hour period.

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Like Harry Potter? Like anti-jokes? Check these out: http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38139-why-did-dumbledore-fall-off-the-astronomy-tower-because-snape-killed-him http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38140-knock-knock-who-s-there-you-know-you-know-who-call-him-voldemort-fear-of-a-name-increases-fear-of-the http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38141-a-black-kid-an-asian-kid-and-a-jewish-kid-walk-into-a-barrier-they-are-students-at-hogwarts-school

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knock knock who's there me me who It's me your son who was in prison for 6 years for false charges of attempted homicide

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What begins with "f" and ends with "uck"? A curse word.

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Whats worst then finding drugs under you brothers bed finding your dead cat under his bed whats worst then finding your dead cat under your brothers bed finding your dead Gran whats even worst then that the Holocaust

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If you were a booger..................... I would get a tissue so i could blow my nose.

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What do you call it? Whatever it is.

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Why do canadians have a lower violent crime rate than the U.S? Because they were all raped as children and are now afraid of getting raped again when bathing in prision.

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Yo Mama is so fat She wears XL clothes.

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What did the man do at the "take a penny leave a penny holder" He took a penny, and left a penny.

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Amputations.

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Lars Arne Eriksen (Yes his real name) is filing a case against me (because he believes that my actions (from my private estate-ish bigger) are shaming the firm.... Now, can anyone of you randomeers, tell me what firm I represent? Which firm I am not employed at but OWN, meaning that I am the one that will be evaluating if his case is valid? ERIKSEN YOU FUCKING DUMBASS YOU CAN LEAVE NOW YOU ARE NOT GETTING PAID FOR READING THESE COMMENTS AND SENDING THEM TO YOUR BOSS... ...BECAUSE I AM YOUR BOSS YOU FUCKING DUMBASS! NOW TYPE THIS DOWN, TAKE YOUR LITTLE PICTURES AND SEND THEM TO ME, SO I CAN SAY OFFICIALLY THEM "YOU SUCK YOU ARE FIRED" Now, feel free to post what Lawfirm I not only represent but own 99.9 of, if anyone guesses right, I will send you ten fucking million USD, and quit my position, if not I fire Eriksen and... (ill do that anyways Eriksen, you are not getting paid today, go home, we shall speak of this later, consider yourself on the way of getting officially fired. Not for having fun like we are here (you know at my tiny house here) THE HUGE ONE, but for embarrasing yourself and attempting to... Sigh, shame your boss by reporting him not to your boss, but to your the lead attorney... FUCKING DUMBASS I AM THE LEAD ATTORNEY WHICH MEANS THAT THIS IS WHY YOU CALL ME BOSS! According to this little dialer, twelve people from our firm are watching this site because we are having fun, and you just ridiculed yourself all in front of them. Dont show your face at my firm again dumbass, you can keep working until I officially let you go, but you wont get any pay from the official work. Guys at work, explain him how he cannot file a complaint about me, to myself for shaming a law firm whose nobody knows I AND ONLY I PROPERLY REPRESENT! Go home Eric crapton, make sure he leaves guys, thank you very much.

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The real Justin Beiber reallly followed me on twitter I deleted my account, set my computer on fire, scattered the ashes and killed myself

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What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

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An English ship lands in the New World and offers to trade with the natives. The ship actually carried foreign diseases that the natives had no immunity to, and they all died.

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How can you tell if there is an idiot at a dogfight? When someone pits a Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a moron at a dogfight? When someone BETS on the Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a cheater at a dogfight? When the victory goes to the Chihuahua.

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what meows and is fuzzy and smells like manure? a cat being being killed with a chainsaw next to a cow

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Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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Why can't Hellen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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