What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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what did the captcha say to the homo sapien? frTrewQui NiolismTU

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What did the midget say to the other midget? "We're midgets"

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what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

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WARNING!: THIS JOKE MAY BE OFFENSIVE::: three mexicans wanted to cross the united states borders when they were greeted by a border guard with a gun. the guard tells the three mexicans that if they wanted to pass the border, they will have to do as he says, to which the 3 of them agrees. the guard tells them to go gather a pair of fruits, so like that each of them went their own way to go get some fruits. the first mexican came back with a pair of apples. The guard orders him to stick both of them up his ass and if he makes a sound, the guard will kill him. The mexican obeys and sticks the apple halfway when he screamed. the guard killed him. The second mexican came back with a pair of cherries. The guard ordered the same thing and told him the same thing. the second mexican made 1 cherry and a half when he giggled. So he died also. when he got to heaven, he meets the first mexican. to which the 1st mexican asks, "why did you laugh? that was so easy!" and the 2nd mexican responded, "i giggled because i saw the third mexican coming with a pair of water melons."

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill all his friends and family.

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A 36 year old Canadian woman.

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What did the cow say to the other cow? How should i know? Go ask them.

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How do you make a boy cry? Kill his family

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: To get to your house. A: Knock-knock B: Whose there? A: The chicken!

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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What's brown, no one likes and has had a bad history? Dog poop

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what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

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Boy: Hey girl if I had hand-cuffs, I’d lock myself to you right now! Girl: I would find that extremely creepy.

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Q: Why are black people so tall? A: Not all black people are tall, and if they are it is probably from their specific genes.

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kathryn atkins

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anti-joke.ru - russian style

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Q: What do you call a car full of black people? A: Stolen

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Why did the blonde go to law school? She was sick of people assuming that she was not an intelligent woman due to negative sterotypes about her gender and hair color and set out to prove said people wrong.

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Don't wake me up. If you wake me up then I will give you a puppy. Just wait until you fall in love with the puppy, because then i will kill it in front of you.

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Wait, I am sleepy as the world which spawned you Nero, but which comment is mine again?

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You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

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What did the parakeet say to the grapefruit? Nothing. Parakeets can't speak.

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What did the disabled child say when I hit him with my car? *thunk*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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