what do you call a rat with wings? an evolutionary masterpiece

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How do you make a bllind person cry? Slowly cut off their toes.

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If life gives you lemons, Eat them.

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your so fat. your fat!

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What's pink and smells like chicken? A pink hair band, I was lying about the chicken part.

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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Why don't birds cry when they get hurt, lose a loved one, or watch opera? How the f*** should I know.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Why didn't Joe's toaster work anymore? Because he dropped it into the bathtub with him.

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Gay marriage is freaking gay.

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A black succeeds

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What did the man with tourettes yell on an airplane? He yelled bomb, and was gunned down by 2 federal marshals, one of which's stray bullets happened to hit a small child with autism.

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An Irish man willingly walks out of a bar

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what did the mushroom say to the other mushroom? nothing, mushrooms can't talk

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2 women were sitting quietly.

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Why was seven afraid of eight? Because eight nine ten.

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whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

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How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

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Why wasn't the little boy allowed to get a dog? Because the orphanage he lives at doesn't allow dogs.

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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Women's rights

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Why shouldn't I go out today? Well I haven't done any work today. Actually no. It's not that. I'd have to ask my guardian Sally to bring out the wheelchair, and well, I'm afraid of her. She beats me. My hobbies are playing football, watching Loose Women and looking at pictures of Gary Barlow on Google Images.

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a young cow was sitting on a bench until her husband shot her after that he said to the farmer 'i will get the milk than you cut the udders and then maranade them

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops