How do you become a multi-trilionere? Get bored...

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Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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Q: What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? A: Getting your face smashed with a hammer.

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How do you get a clown off a swing set? You throw an axe at his head when he's not looking.

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What happened to the guy who dropped his soap in the prison shower? His friend picked it up for him.

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What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? The bench can support a family!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tank tank who? You're welcome

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Q: What's funny about a gay man being raped by men for being gay? A: The man's personality

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

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How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

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Why did the pig jump over the farmer? Because he's a stupid idiot.

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Whats the difference between a Corvette and 1000 dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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How do you kill a retard? Slit his throat.

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Why is the chicken afraid of the tiger? Chickens are inferrior to tigers and could easily be eaten.

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If roses weren't RED and violets weren't Blue... Walls are still solid objects.

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Why was the Africanan boy hungry? Because food is hard to come by in Africa.

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Arent you my dark knight in black armor, you would seriously put your life on the line for my sake?

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pickle juice?

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What's white and smells like crap? An albino tird. Just kidding, Justin Biebers music.

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Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a woman. Why couldn't hellen Keller have fun at the zoo? She was blind and deaf.

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops