Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead!!!!

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what do you do when a dog bites your ear off? you see that you are bleeding then you scream.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, as I wasn't there, and frankly I wonder why a chicken was anywhere near a road anyway

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Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

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What did the teenage girl get for just sweet 16? An abortion

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Why did the blonde stare at the juice carton? Because a man was pointing a shotgun at her and would kill her if she didn't do it.

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what do friends and trees have in common? If you hit them with an axe multiple times they fall over

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How does a black man cut his hair? At a hairdresser

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

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What's the difference between a volleyball and a tree? They're both volleyballs except for the tree.

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How do you know if a Frenchman has been in your house? You could ask a neighbor, or check to see if anything has been missing, or set up a camera. There are actually many ways.

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Knock Knock .... Knock Knock .... Pum Pum Pum .... LAPD! open the door!

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haha

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Why did the black man cross the road? To show the chicken that it isn't that hard.

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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What is worse than a Catholic priest being caught red handed raping 7 kids? 1. Thou shall not steal. 2. Thou shall be kindeth to thy neigbour... 3. Not attending to church is a sin... Moral: Catholic priests need to get their priorities straight... or gay, just not pedo!

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How does the cow say cash i dont know ask him he is the cow.

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Why was the dyslexic cowboy crying when he came into school that day? He had chronic diarrhea.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: a pizza is a food that was created in italy and is regularly eaten daily around the world and a jew is a religion that is constantly criticized and made fun of because they are different.

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Why did the boy want to commit suicide? Because he didn't want to die.

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What's up? The sky. What's down? Your mom: she was stabbed

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What's big, white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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