Rock a by baby, In a tree top When the wind blows The cradle will rock, When the bough breaks The cradle will fall And down will come baby Dying on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

So this guy walks into a bar. As soon as he gets in, a drunk dude punches him in the face ! The dude was drunk enough to not know what he was doing, but still sober enough to hit the guy hard ! So the guy had a cerebral commotion and died 2 days later.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What would a man say if you urinated all over his legs? WHAT THE DEUCE?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

That's as gay as AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the fat confused man say? I am confused.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

your mommas so fat she has been advised to diet and excercise or run the risk of terminal illness

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Three Jews get on a train to Stockholm. How many get off at Stockholm. None. The train went straight to Auschwitz.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A child logs on to antijoke.com he is a chronic masturbator

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the jew kill himself? He heard a raciest joke and went into a period of depresion causing him to lose all will to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Jacob Edwards has friends

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A black man, a Jew, and a homosexual are at a bar together. They drink for a few hours, during which time they catch up with each other and share stories, as it has been some time since the three of them have seen each other. After they are done drinking, they call a friend, who comes to pick them up and take them home. What a fine example of drinking responsibly.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A Jew, A priest and a Muslim go into a pub,put their differences aside and have a good time!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a horse and a gorilla? Their penis size. Horses have relatively large penises, while gorillas are known to have the smallest penises proportional to their body size.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What killed the dinosaurs? THE ROCKET POWERED FIST!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happened to timmy? He had downsyndrome and walked off a cliff

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's funnier than New York City? ADAM STOCK! By Logan in South Dakota

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Have you ever seen a dinosaur? No

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Scenario: 2 guys with big feet and a camels Anus are hiking on Mount Everest with a set of elephants dildos Man 1: what's the difference between a Volkswagen and a clock? Man 2: what? Man 1: you can't toboggan of a green house roof with a tub of Vaseline and a ostrich party on lady gaga's Anus

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Have you seen Hellen Kellers mon?... Neither has she

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is the best kind of necro? Dead necro.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do u say hi to a black person JUST SAY HI RACIST

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops