Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I slipped you some roofies You'll be out in a few

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A man was walking through the woods when he comes across a little girl crying by a lake. "What is the matter little girl?" he asked. "My cat fell in the lake ... and it couldn't swim ... so my father jumped in as well and drowned too," she cried," Sad, the man sighed, pulled down his pants and said, "Well I guess today's just not your day,"

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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In a galaxy far, far, away.... There were quasars, stars, and various sized meteors.

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what do you call a guy called Bill? Bill

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How do you stop a baby from crying? You hit it with an axe.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a raging hard-on and was leering at him.

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If John has 32 candy bars and he eats 28, whAt does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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A man is on anti jokes, he is not laughing.

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What has wings and can't fly? What has legs and can't move? What has mouth and can't eat? A dead bird on the road

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Chuck Norris' punch is so powerful that is falls on the downward slope of the bell curve for punch force of adult males.

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What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "GESTAPO! AUFMACHEN!!!"

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Chuck Norris can speak Japanese. Believe it or not he is actually multilingual, he speaks Spanish and French as well.

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Why did the man mow his lawn without his shirt on? Because it was very hot out.

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Yo mama so ugly people don't like to look at her.

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What is black and white and can't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a harpoon through her back.

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Well, a test is a well thought-out series of questions, usually used in schools to determine a students final grade.

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Why was the black man running? Because he was playing capture the flag.

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This is not a joke.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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