Q: What was the little boy doing in the deep end of the swimming pool? A: Drowning.

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OMG LOOK I FOUND A MAGIC DECODER RING

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What do you call a old guy watching little kids in a pool? a life guard

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A black man went on the bus and sat down next to a white man. The white man looked up from his magazine and stared at the black man. They then chit-chatted and enjoyed their trip.

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Why was Bill in jail? He stabbed 17 black people because they didn't deserve welfare checks.

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Q: What did one candle say to the other? A: Nothing, the mere thought of candles being able to possess the ability of speech is preposterous beyond any of the highest capabilities known to man.

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You're in a room with your friend, and you see some one being eaten by a monster. Who's getting eaten? No one, monsters aren't real.

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Why did Billy fall of his bike HE HAD NO BIKE

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I hate when Harry Potter showers in my Potatoes....

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Did you hear about the blonde that went to college? She got a degree.

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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mc hammers income.

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A man opens his sock drawer, grabs his socks and puts them on.........He dies 5 minutes later.

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There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. Just kidding! Redheads arn't real.

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Mark. Oh Hai Mark

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First person: Knock, knock. Second person: Who's there? First person: You know. Second person: 'You know' who? First person: O.O LORD VOLDEMORT!

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A British man walks into a dental office.

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What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall? Nothing. Fish cannot speak

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What do you get wen u cross a cat and a walrus? Two animals with very different life styles.

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What's the same about eggnog and a computer? You can search the web. Except that's only true for one of them.

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So this guy walks into a bar. As soon as he gets in, a drunk dude punches him in the face ! The dude was drunk enough to not know what he was doing, but still sober enough to hit the guy hard ! So the guy had a cerebral commotion and died 2 days later.

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whats green and walks? A cabbage, cabbages dont walk

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why did sally fall off the swing? because she had no arms. knock knock? who's there? not sally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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