Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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stop it ryan vallee

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What did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Your mumma is so fat that she wears large clothes.

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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What’s spotty, has three legs and is green all over? …well?

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How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

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The motto of those who live in the Bible Belt; "The Bible Belt: Where being obese is 'Genetic' but being homosexual is a 'lifestyle choice'."

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What sound does a baby in a blender make? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

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John: hey wats up? Bob: gas prices!

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Why was six afraid of seven? He wasn't. that joke is just a way to convince you that seven is a scary number.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

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Why did the man cross the road? He was hungry and homeless, and in search of chicken.

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What did the drummer say to other drummer? "Hey, I'm a drummer too."

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Who is big and stupid My brother

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if you can raed tihs steence it menas you are ceelvr eugnoh to uendnrstad tihs: no sex cusaes dgdoy eeys

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yo mama so fat that when she jumped on her tempurpedic mattress the wine did spill

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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Why did Piglet look in the toilet? He was probably fascinated by the flush.

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What is 6 plus 9? 15

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You know what's funnier than 24? .... 9-11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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