Your momma is so fat that she decided to begin an exercise program and eat healthy and she lost weight.

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a guy walks down a street when he sees a bomb he walks away

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When is a clown happy? At a child's birthday party.

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What do you call a bright orange fish? A gold fish.

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Two fish are in a tank. One is driving, the other is operating the gun. Two soldiers are in a tank. They both drown.

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Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

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A dog walks into a bar. He asks for a drink in perfect english. People scream at the dog's ability to talk and scientists burt in and take the dog to dissect and study his brain, vocal chords, and dna.

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what is darker than black?... YOU

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Everyone lies about agreeing to the terms of service... look, I'll do it right now! because i have to click it in order to post the joke.

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Why was the boy holding his breath? A man was holding his head under water.

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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What did the teacher say to the student who stepped on a rusty nail? You have to go to the Nurse's Office to get a band-aid- I don't have any.

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How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except it didn't work for the boy with ice cream.

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Two Christians are on their way to church. They stay for prayers and have a lovely lunch.

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what happend when the little boy went on the rollercoaster ? It crashed.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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What's the difference between a large pizza and a Mexican? A large pizza can feed a family.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your Fallopian tubes ripped out by wolverine

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What's so good about being Swiss? Well.... The flag's a big plus

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What's worse than a man with AIDS? The fact that this is considered a joke.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police, your entire family has died in a terrible car accident.

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A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: What kind of bread would you like, brown or white? Penguins answers: Well, it doesn't really matter since I drove here.

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what is the difference between jelly and jam? jelly is smoother where jam has chunks of fruit in it...... and i cant jelly my penis down your throat

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Why do vampires suck blood? Because they re crazy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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