Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours being in a zoo But don't worry I'll be there too Behind the bars, laughing at you

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: ‘Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?’ ‘No, your Highness,’ he replied, ‘but my father was.

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Past, Present and Future walk into a bar. It was tense...

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There are fewer coppers on sundays. As well as criminality.

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What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

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How come the bartender didnt let the black guys in the bar Because the bar was closed.noone was aloud in the bar

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Q: what do polo bears have for lunch A: iceburger

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How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

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What did the loser say to the winner? Good game

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Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

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What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

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Knock, knock. Come in.......

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What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shitzu? One delicious smoothie.

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Why did 3 blacks guys start watching the first Star Wars movie on Saturday night? They finished the Back to the Future movies on Friday.

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being black.

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How many babies can fit inside a trash can? Seven.

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A girl is talking with her boyfriend - God, you're selfish!!! - No, i sell meat.

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A russian, a mexican, and an american are all sitting in a tavern. The russian ordered vodka, the mexican orders tequila, and the american orders a beer. When the waiter arrives, the russian throws his vodka into the air, shoots it, and says "we got too many of those in our country". The mexican tosses up his tequila and says "we got too many of those in our country". The american throws up his beer, shoots the mexican, and says "we got too many of those in our country". And then drinks his beer.

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Why was the muslim surprised? A tyrannosaurus rex bit off his legs.

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Q: Why did the monkey climb a tree? A: To avoid predators.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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What has four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill someone? A pool table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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