Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Due to the height of the fall, one of his ribs pierced his heart and he also suffered extensive head trauma and internal bleeding due to the force when he hit the floor, where he lay in agony for several hours before dying a slow, painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A black man and a jew both fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? the black man

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A horse walks in a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse didn't reply because he was a hoarse horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Women are definitely a full time job.. You should be paid to have them......

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the boy get hit by a car? Because he didn't look both ways

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things, because a dead baby isn't funny at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A deaf man walks into a bar. Minutes later, cops come in and arrests the poor man for not paying his bill while the deaf man sits at the bar calmly drinks his beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats In My Trash? Bears

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why did the girl have pink hair? because she died it purple, but it didn't work.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a black man that flies a plane? -A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +6

i was driving home after work but i had to stop because an old lady wanted to cross the road..... the old lady was abused by her father as a child, and had Alzheimer's

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Yo momma is so old that she will be moved to a nursing home next week.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Burp

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Long joke Your such a downey

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the bus fall down? It was hit by a bus and then repeatedly battered by a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What is the biggest lie in the world? I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Whats pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +13

suck my dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How are baseball and the holocaust similar? They're both games, except for the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock Knock. Who's there? ........ It turns out it was Helen Keller.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. The stewardess calls secret service and has the man arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops