Q: What cant you give a black guy? A: Black eye, lips, and a jon

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What do you call an 8 foot anxious priest painted purple named harold? Harold.

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Why the kid fall of his bike? He got hit by a fridge.

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R: Caught my wife cheating the other night. P: You bitter? R: Yes. I am.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Knock Knock. Whos there? I am the danger! Danger who? I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!

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What smells like bananas but is invisible? Monkey farts

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Arab 1: Du good bai me, and I'll du good bai you. Arab 2: Ye men, sounds good men. Arab 3: O man, no way. Arab 4: K, u wait...jus wait n see.. Arab 5: I no interest! Me so saudi! Arab 6: D'oh...ha, ha, haa! Arab 7: This is so bahrain...I'm going to go club some protesters.

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Meanwhile, at La'kaneisha's family reunion, they had a great time eating caviar, steamed lobster, and rare bull testicals.

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What is the difference between an apple and an apple? One has a brown spot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had Alzheimers and forgot that he lived on the other side of the street.

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Your mom went to college

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Knock Knock Whos there? The IRS *locking noise*

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I just found my mum has Alzheimer's, I hope it isn't contagious cause my mum has it too

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What do you get when you put a pig in an oven? A dead pig.

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Why did Devon move out of his mom's house? His mom beats him.

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Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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What do you do when you go downstairs in the middle of the night and see your VCR floating in the middle of the living room? Run and cower in fear in this seemingly impossible situation.

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People thought hitler said "I want to burn the jews" he really said "I want a glass of juice".

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Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS JOKE??? A: Another joke you didn't think was funny... REFRIGERATOR!! O.k. Now it's funny!

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Wanna hear a funny story? Sure Ok.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Muffins can't speak therefor it said nothing.

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What happens when you cut Chuck Norris? He bleeds

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How many chicken feathers are there in a 50 pound bag? 50 pounds worth Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a duck Why did the man cross the road? It was duck season A woman is dying but can't reach her husband. Why? A duck ate his cell-phone A pig walks into a bar but there is no bartender. Where is she? Dead A duck hunter is selling a duck to a man. The man only pays the duck hunter a quarter. Why? It was full of chicken feathers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops