Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the most direct path to his destination.

What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

What's brown and sticky? Fecal matter.

Whats Brown and sticky... Shit

a blond walks in to a post... OUCH

How do you know if someone is vegan? They'll tell you.

What did the gay man see when he looked out the window? A UPS truck that was shipping a monkey

what did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? cancer.

What did the boy with four arms get for Christmas? A Laptop. Why couldn't he use it? He had no fingers.

Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, Therefore no one knew why his name was Fuzzy Wuzzy.

whats the difference between santa claus and jewish people santa claus goes down the chimney and jewish people go up

Miley Cyrus Walked into a fence and fainted.

Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

What starts with p and ends in orn? Popcorn

Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

How many dead babies does it take to paint a room? This is impossible as dead babies are incapable of achieving such a feat.

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why did no one help him up? Because nobody liked him.

Knock knock Who's there Santa who santa hates you and that is why you got nothing for Christmastime

Billy isn't a homosexual, he just has sex with men. Billy has sex with men, because Billy's in prison.

Knock knock Who's there? Hi I'm John from the jehovah witness society down the street and I'd love to talk to you about your beliefs! Would you like a pamphlet?

Why did Joe not cross the road? Because the Pedestrian Crossing light said not to.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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