Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

a black man is flying a plane what is his name Joe and the plane crashed and he died because I distracted him with this question

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Whats big white and can't climb trees? A Fridge. Whats red and bad for your teeth? A Brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

A girl walks into a bar. She unfortunately meets a man with a drinking problem. The man takes her home, strips her of her virginity and then beats her with a bat until she can no longer breathe. Her name was Laura Pratz.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you say to a black guy who is holding a gun to your head? Nothing. He is holding a gun to your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why do black people eat at KFC? Because KFC serves good food at reasonable prices.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

thumb_up thumb_down

Jesse ziggenfat hates his life. He's really obese. Just like his mom...and his sister...and his brother.....and his dad.... And his dog? Bacon?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the difference between a pillow and a rock The rock could hert you.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible...

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's black and white and in the desert? Tourists being held hostage by a tribe.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What Do you Call Cheese that's not yours (nacho cheese?) *interrupt them violently and stare with crazy eyes!* STOLEN! I was gonna make quesadillas, now no quesadillas for anyone!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I bit a horses leg. Why? Because I thought i was a vampire. I also bit my sisters glodfish in half.. Why? Cause I wanted revenge on my sister.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A blonde walks into a bar; she orders and enjoys her drink and then leaves with her thirst quenched.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the blondes left leg say to her right leg? Nothing they haven't met yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What does DNA stand for? The National Association of Dislexics.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did Oscar masturbate? He was on life support?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than shitting whilst fucking? Losing your eye! Kelvin Yang

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Uh, well I think of it as quirky and charming, odd weird, maybe unexpected, I could have looked it up but I am dying of lack of sleep here.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A priest walks into a day care center. He calmly blesses all of the surrounding children a leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +113

Q:How many pancakes can you fit on top of as doghouse? A:Purple. Because ice cream has no bones.....

thumb_up thumb_down +5

seek beauty

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops