What is the difference between a baby and a tampoline? You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Pain Olympics.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? Hi. He said it in sign language.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What has three legs and bleeds? A cat with a cut off leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A blonde is running for her life and sees a sign that says "GO LEFT TO SURVIVE". She goes right and she survives.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Person 1: Knock knock Person 2: Who is there??? Person 1: ..................................... Person 2: (Opens Door) Person 1: BOO i scared u and ding dong ditched u Person 2: Actually "Ding Dong Ditching" is when a one or more human beings search for a targeted house where they ring the door bell and run to a designated location to hide. After the resident opens the door to find out no one has stayed and waited, they close the door and the human beings quickly run up and repeat the task many as times until the resident finally catches them.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A mama cow was sitting in the barn with her 3 babies. The first baby cow goes "Mom, why did you name me Daisy?" "Because a Daisy landed on your head when you were born" The second calf goes "Mom, why did you name me Rose?" "Because a Rose petal landed on your head when you where born." The third calf says "Aasdfghoiuytfghjkuiy" The mom replies "Shut up brick"

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the man sitting down? He was recently paralyzed in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the man cry? Because his mom died in a terrible car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the pregnant teenager get for her birthday? An abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? Dr. Jeremy Brown, I have your results from the blood test. It's good news they came back negative. Hooray.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe. -Tag

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What happens when you throw a yellow rock into a purple river? it makes a splash

thumb_up thumb_down -9

No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he was hungry. The teacher would stupid to say it was a piece of cake

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Susan went to Chemistry class, Susan is no more. For what she thought was H20 was H2S04 (sulfuric acid.)

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Where's Waldo? It is impractical to search for him because he's just going to get lost on another page once you find him. You assume he was murdered and get on with your life.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

It's easy to take part, just type your text below! no

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q.) What do you call a black man on the moon? A.) An astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

javascript:alert("your own");

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops