What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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A man walks into a bar He orders a beer, drinks the beer, then leaves.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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When Kurt Cobain was little, his mother told him to never play with guns but I guess it went through one ear and out the other.

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Why wasn't the unplugged computer on?

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Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

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why cant black people swim? I dont know but they killed my family

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Q: Why did Rapunzel fall out of the tower? A: Because she was a dumb bitch.

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Q: What's worse than finding a hundred dead babies, in one bin? A: Finding one dead baby, in a hundred bins.

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How may Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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knock knock who's there GET IN THE VAN!

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Roses are red, violets are blue you may not know this but I'm falling for you . <3

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Why does the cow eat grass? A: Because it's green. (Cows are colorblind)

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How do you kill a circus? Go for the Juggler!

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how did santa ruin christmas? he didnt put presents under familys tree's

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whats funnier than a penguin playing a banjo? i don't know because I've never seen one and probably never will because it is a highly improbable event.

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What's worse than having to listen a song from Justin Bieber? Being wrongfully convicted of child molestation,rape and murder and spending 50 years in prison before being acquited by DNA-analysis.

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3 Men walk into a bar, they all order up a drink. And then they paid their tabs and left.

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How did the black man get put in jail? He didn't, he never did anything illegal

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What do you do if you find blood in your poo? Stop stabbing yourself in the arse with a fork on wednesdays...

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what happened to the mexican who dropped his ice cream at work? He got a raise, won the $5 billion jackpot, was given ten car dealerships, then died.

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Sarah went to church one day and went into the confession booth with her pastor. He made sure nobody was in the church, and proceeded to allow her to confess. He didn't molest her. However, when Sarah got home her abusive stepfather beat her to death in an alcoholic rage and shot himself. It was on the news.

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What is the saddest color? Red because his family recently was killed

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Why did Timmy lose the race? He had no legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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