A terrorist robs a walrus.

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What's the difference between a black man and a monkey? Millions of years of evolution

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What did the normal guy say when he went to the Special Olympics? What a bunch of retards.

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Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

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what did the black guy say to his pregnant wife? im very excited to see our newborn child.

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How do you get someone off a swing? ask them politely.

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whats white? everything thats not black, yellow, pink, red, blue, orange, purple, green, indigo, turquiose, grey, brown, khaki, gols, silver, bronze.

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Why Didn't The Teenager Bring His Report Card Home to His Parents? Because He Was Murdered By Thugs Walking Home From School.

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A Blonde, a Jew, a Rooster, and a Mexican walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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"hey woody can i ask you a question" "sure buzz" "why is it your name is woody but they use me as a vibrator"

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What would Chuck Norris do if you insulted him? Nothing. He probably doesn't have time for such foolishness.

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Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

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A Palestinian and an Israeli both board a plane at the same time. They exchange awkward glances and take seats at different ends of the plane.

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How do you get a elephant in a fridge? You open the fridge and put it in. How do you get a Rhino in a fridge? You take the elephant out and then put the rhino in. All the animals in the animal kingdom are at a meeting, what animal isn't there? The rhino, his in the fridge. How do you cross a river full of alligators? Walk across the allligators are at the meeting.

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why did the black man buy a gun? he was a hunter.

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What do you call a generally un likeable person who has a habit of drinking in a bar? A Bastard.

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69

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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What did one Pokemon say to the other pokemon? We are fake.

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rape them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rape him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rape him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you.

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Vaginal secretions

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A Native American walks into a bar. The bartender notes that this is statistically unlikely because Native Americans are part of a small minority in the local area, but is accepting of all people so still serves him a drink.

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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