CAUSE IT'S ONE, TWO, THREE STRIKES YOU'RE OUT

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Why does Miley Cyrus make sex tapes It's the only acting job she can get

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How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

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Nipples+poop= good stuff. Hellllll yeaaahhhh

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Andrew: who's better at football, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady? Thomas: ur mom

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how do you make a little boy cry? Kill his parents in front of him .

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Why did the 10-year-old boy get on the computer? He had to finish a project for Social Studies, and it was due the next day.

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What happened when Mary threw a kettle at Daniel? Daniel was scalded in the facial area and was blinded forever.

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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What did the oncologist say to his patient? You have terminal cancer.

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What's black and white and red all over? A car in which some young hoodlum appears to have splashed a fair amount of red paint over the owner's otherwise charming checker pattern.

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A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

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why didnt Tim Tebow go to church? He had practice half an hour before the service was scheduled to start, and to do both was impossible and missing practice would have resulted in disciplinary action from both his coaches and his teammates.

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What's big and long? My dick.

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Why was the mexican being lazy? Because he lead a very successful life and retired early and now can enjoy the luxury of the finer things in life.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris? Shoot him in the face.

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Why did the little boy tell his classmates jokes? To try and fit in for once.

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Two unemployed Irishmen are out looking for work when they pass a lumberyard. There's a sign outside that said "Tree Fellers Wanted". Sean turns to Patrick and says " What a curious way to write that sign. Surely the term is lumberjack?" "Yes," says Patrick "but what with the current economic situation here in Ireland, I say we get in there, apply for the jobs and hope that our lack of experience is overlooked." "Okay." Says Sean. "And let's not mention the whole sign thing." "No."

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A guy walks into a bar- he walks out of the bar because the beer was expensive and he didn't feel like getting drunk.

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how do you get someone out of a chair? hit him with a shovel

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? seeing this joke 1000 times on this website

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "He has a mild concussion."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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