You so dumb that you weighed 100 pounds and ate a peanut and weighed 500 pounds!

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What has four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill someone? A pool table.

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Why was the man choking? He was eating to fast.

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whats worst then antijokes? the holocaust

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Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga? one of them is a women the other one is not.

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Why was there an awkward silence? Because numerous people gathered in a room were not talking.

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound? I don't know... Does the deaf woman locked in my basement?

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Knock knock who's there I killed your family

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was stapeled to a cow and the cow got hit by a bus so they died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

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What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have herpes. If I were you I would get tested.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was drunk.

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What do you get if you cross a canine and a sheep? A Sheepdog. What do you get if you cross a cat and a dog? You fucking stupid? It cant be done!

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Next time someone says "I have mad money"... Say "whys it mad"

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What do you do when you find a black man rolling around on the ground? Stop laughing and reload.

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what does gum eat ? gum you idiot!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 6's boss, has been sexually assaulting 6 for years at work, but 6 needs the money too bad to say anything or quit his job.

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Q: Whats worse than the death of flappy bird? A: The holocaust.

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Q:whats the difference between grass and a car? A:They all have wheels, except the grass

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Why are elephants gray? So you don't get them confused with blueberries.

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What's worse than throwing 8 babies off a cliff? Throwing 1 baby off a cliff.

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In Soviet Russia, Stalin kills you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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