What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

Why did the old man get wet even though he was using an umbrella? Because it didn't save from falling off the bridge.

How do you get 2x1=4? Do the wrong math.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because your a fag.

A kid walks into a bar and the bartender yells, "Get Out!"

What do you call a child that has been stabbed? A dead child

What's the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies? One is easier to unload with a pitchfork.

The girl was really drunk and passed out. She woke up the next day with a hangover.

What's brown and slimy? brown slime

whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

To mamas so fat shes fat

What's the opposite of fly? To not fly

roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

What did Tim say about his wife cheating on him with his best friend's wife? He ran to R Kelly and got peed on.

what do you call lots of jews on a train? Call them what you want they aren't coming back!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms. A: Knock knock! B: Who's there? A: Not Sally.

Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

Three men of different race and religion are on a plane; they enjoy their flight, and two of them have a good meal with no pork. Thirty years later, two of the men share the same flight, but failed to even recognize each other on the first.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I suck at poetry. Nice tits.

just imagine like a whole mark no imagine like 1000 marks an army of marks ready to conquer

Why was Timmy's hair shaved? He had cancer and was going though Chemo.

What do the holocaust and new born babies have in common? Nothing. Except some babies are born in Germany.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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