Why did the pirate fall off his ship? He got pushed off by another pirate

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How many bodies can you stuff into a oven? Who tries figure that out? I'm calling the cops.

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What's big, grey and can't climb trees? A carpark.

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How did young Austin get home while walking on the side of the street ? He didnt. He was hit by a car.

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How do you silence a barking dog? You rip out its vocal cords.

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How did the jew win a marathon? Through hard vigorous training by running everyday and eating healthy.

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where do cows go on dates? the slaughter house

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Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your family die in a fire.

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Three men walk into a bar and suffer permanent brain damage

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diarrhea, diarrhea, duh duh diarrhea, I flush someone down the potty with my diarrhea Duh, duh diarrhea I want to marry my diarrhea duh duh diarrhea. Written by Niggalyncha666

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the overwhelming feeling of self doubt created by an abusive drug addicted father which has left him seeking life threatening situations that should never befall a simple chicken.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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A police man pulls over a blonde for speeding. The policeman tells her she was speeding and starts to write a ticket. She get emotional and begins to cry. He writes the ticket, she signs it, and she drives off.

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My spelling is horrible

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! Win a few Lose a few I'm Donald Trump!

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

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Two cats were in a bathtub. They both, however, were uneasy the whole time, as it is common sense to know that cats do not like being in water.

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what did the boy with no arms get for easter? a cane.

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What's my favorite color?? I don't have one, i'm a joke you idiot.

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What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

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What do black people and bananas have in common? 50% of their DNA

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor's office? He had brain cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops