Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is quite strange, but then realizes he is dreaming. He awakes and tells his wife about it. His wife tells him to go to sleep. The bartender is now sad because he realizes his marriage is in shambles

Whats The Difference Between A Baby And A Watermelon ? You Can Throw One In The Air And Hit It With A Bat , And The Other Ones A Watermelon

What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

Why didn't Helen Keller have headphones? Because they weren't invented

What do Helen Keller, Stevie Wonder, and Ray Charles have in common? They were all mentioned in the previous sentence.

What happened when a boy used the wrong punctuation and grammar, plus forgot how to spell the word know? i dont ;now!!!!!!!!!

why did radio not get the song? beacause he radio didnt work.

is this love , is this love , is this love , that im feeling , no bob im afraid its cancer.

boy: you want to hear something funny? girl: what? boy: women's rights girl: you want to hear something trivial? boy: what? girl: your penis

What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

What's the best way to pick up girls? Lift with your legs, not your back.

How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead

Whats black and hangs from trees in my backyard? blackberries..

Why do you go to a black mans yardsale? To buy something cheap. Why don't you hit a black guy on a bike? Because it is illegal.

Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car, Robin.

Blonde Girl: Why is this green-painted man throwing forks at me?! Green-Painted Man: It is confusing you, no?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing Jenga on September 11th.

"What would Jesus do?" "Form a religion, get nailed to a cross, and become a martyr to millions."

Knock knock. Who's there? You. You who? Fuck you.

Why don't women drive more? Because statistically the man offers to drive more frequently

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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