What do babies and caterpillars have in common? They're both dead. Except the caterpillar.

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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Why did the yeti make an omlette? To practise making omlettes.

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What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

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A priest, rabbi, and mormon are arguing about which religion is best. A zookeeper hears and says, "I have a bear who is sleeping right now. How about whoever converts the bear belongs to the best religion?" The priest goes in first, and then walks out a few minutes later, unharmed. The mormon does the same, and he too exits unscathed. The rabbi goes in, and walks out covered in claw marks. "How'd it go?" Said the zookeeper. "Easy." Said the priest. "I just sprinkled some Holy water on him." "I did the same." Said the mormon. The rabbi looked at the zookeeper and said, "have you ever tried to circumcise a bear?"

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What did the boy reading the book do? He kept turning pages and reading until he came to the end, closed the book, and put it back onto the book shelf.

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Your moms so ugly, that when i took her out to eat for dinner we built an everlasting relationship. Thats why you call me dad.

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An Irishman walks out of a pub. Just kidding.

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Covietz has a large penis

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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Why are we on a roof? Becuse some idiot gave us all roofies.

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A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

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What did the teacher say to the kid who got a 0 on a multiple choice spelling test? Wow your really dumb. Idiot

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Your mother's so fat that affects her self esteem.

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Last week, I visited the Virgin Islands. Now it's just called Islands.

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What is the similarety between a car and a banana? Both starts with B

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IMMA FIND YO ASS DO!!!!!

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Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great height she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

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Just admit it. one time in ur life u pretended that the floor was lava and the only way to survive was on the couch.

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What's brown and sticky? ...A stick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it lacks the cognitive reasoning ability necessary to determine that walking into oncoming traffic will surely result in death

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What's worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust.

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A dog walked into the forest and saw a whale in a puddle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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