Why did blink-182 get a record deal? Because they play quality punk rock.

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hi

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What did the unicorn eat for a snack? Nothing. Unicorns are a majestic fiction animal.

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A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

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what's the difference between a duck? You can't wash a window with a brick.

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What's the easiest way to become President? Have a background in politics and a catchy campaign slogan that voting Americans can relate to.

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Is your refrigerator running? no then your food is probably beginning to rot

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What the difference between water and water? Nothing, they're both water.

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Q: What's the biggest difference between a black man and a white man? A: Their skin color.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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Why didn't the woman need a watch? Because she had both her hands amputated after battling diabetes.

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What did the Jew say the Black man after their meal? "Don't worry, I'll pay the bill."

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Brian finally kissed a girl on the lips... After her daily whore shift of blowjobs -Ap

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why was the woman in the kitchen? she was being held hostage there by Bob Saget

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What do you get when you put the head of a lion on the body of an eagle?2 dead animals and a fine for killing protected species.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Exercise

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How do you get a black kid to sleep? A cup of warm milk and maybe a lulluby should do it.

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This is a haiku. Not a very good haiku, But still a haiku.

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I like the color potato.

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There's two sausages in a pan.. One says "Wow it's hot in here" The other says... "agrhhh a talking sausage"

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Q: what is funny today A: your parents died in a horrible car accident

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A. Why did John survive the plane crash? B. Because he was master chief and he is awesom although cortana did not which John is sad about naturally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops