What did the boy say to the Vietnam veteran? Where are your legs?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you teach your daughter to stop wetting the bed? Cut her best friends eye-lids off at her birthday party.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody cause your a loser.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he didn't have the guts.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A devout Christian dies– Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Homosexuals aren't allowed in.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus? Trying not to laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what did one deer say to the other? nothing, he was shot during hunting season.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock! Who's there? Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

why did the chicken cross the road? to try and stop the rapist from sodomizing his young child but his atempts were futile as the rapist shot him and used his blood as lubricant when he skull-raped his dying wife

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is purple and rhymes with apple? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What happened when the blind man reached for his soda? He picked it up, took a sip, and placed it back down where it was and continued with what he was doing.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

pady irish man paddy english man and paddy african man go on a magic slide wat ever you say will be at the bottem paddy irish man said gold paddy english man silver paddy african man almost fell off so he said shit buthalf way down he thought it was fun so he said wee

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm chuck norris. And I approve of this message.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

So, a man walks into a bar, and he ends up in intensive care, because the bar was very hot and gave him severe burns. He was on business in an industrial park.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

CISSY: TIMMY! COME AND DO YOUR HOMEWORK THIS INSTANT TIM: ....................../´¯/) ....................,/¯../ .................../..../ ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') .........\.................'...../ ..........''...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( ..............\.............\... *CISSY SMACKS TIMMY AND SENDS HIM TO HIS ROOM WITHOUT DINNER.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do cows in Africa say? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Several ways to annoy people: Grab the end of their shirt to blow your nose Try to shove a bowling ball down there throat Try to sell them a broom and vacuum Try to eat their babies paint their toe Nibble their ankles Ask if you can babysit their crystal and if they say no start whining Carry around your chicken and ask if they want a nugget

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the bird say when he was riding the turtle? Weeee...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Knock, Knock... Whose there? No one... you have no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Stop being a centipede

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a giggling penguin? Personification.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops