Knock knock! Who's there? Me.

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An alien spacecraft picks up human transmissions from Earth. They continue on in silence and disgust.

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Why should this joke be funny? It shouldn't, because its an anti-joke.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

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Q: What do you call a robot in a concert? A: Electric fan

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A mute says to a paraplegic: You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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Why didn't the girl's ring fit? She had no fingers.

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The sword that kills, the sword that gives life.

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Buy one packet of condoms for the price of two packets of condoms, and you will be given a second packet of condoms ABSOLUTLEY FREE!

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What do a black man and an apple have in common? They are both carbon based life forms.

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why did the fox jump over the pen ? it was tuesday

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What is worse than being ran over by a bus? Nothing really.

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You know what's funny about table salt? Not much.

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Why was the woman poor at driving? Because she had not yet passed her driving test.

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What do you call a black man standing on top of a church? bullshit!!

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What is the best thing about having sex with twenty-seven year old's? There's twenty of them

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Roses are green Violets are green I'm colour blind Everything is green

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What's black and white, and red all over ? A penguin in a blender.

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Why do Vampires Sparkle in the Sunlight? They don't read a proper Vampire Novel and see for yourself.

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A man yells at the top of the Grand Canyon, "Heyoooooo" He hears His voice echo multiple times. He yells again, "Heyoooooo" This time he hears his echo and a girl yell "heyo" back to him from within the canyon. He looks down. He falls. A mountain goat breaks his fall. The man is so thankful for the goat. He says, " Thank you goat! You saved my life!" The goat then pulls out a gun, and shoots him thrice. The man dies.

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If you are my friend like it!

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There once was a rich man who owned a really big mansion, he's a very organised man and likes routine, every day at 6.30pm he goes for an hour long jog. One day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his mansion is on fire and he can see a little orange man running away in the distance. But he thinks nothing of it. The man has lost a lot of money, but can still afford to move into a slighty smaller, yet still very large house. The next day he goes out for his jog and when he gets back his big house is on fire and again, he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it, but has now lost even more money, and has to move into a regular size house. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his house is on fire and again he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it and has lost even more money. He is really gutted by this point and now has to move into a single bedroom flat. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his flat is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He still thinks nothing of it and has now lost all his money, and has to move into a cardboard box under a bridge. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his cardboard box is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He is sick of this and decides to chase the little orange man. When he catches him he tackles him to the ground, turns him over and asks.. did you burn down my mansion, my big house, my average sized house, my flat, and my box? The little orange man replies no.

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whats the differance between a orange and a dead baby one is a delicious treat the other is a fruit

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The chicken crossed the road and died. The end.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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