What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? Mittens

Hobos are like Obama they want change.

Me: f*** off Asshole: YOU'RE MOM! Me: -is dead.

The weels on the bus go...flat

Why was the priest circumcised? He had a very painful urinary tract infection

Why did the chicken cross the road? There's no way to know. The chicken can't speak any humanly comprehensible languages so any reason we can determine is pure speculation.

What did the kid with no arms get for christmas? No one knows he hasn't been able to open his presents yet.

what do you call a black man flying a plane?? a pilot ,you racist!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side which would be a incontrovertible (obvious) decision.

What is hitlers favorite planet: jewpiter

How do you kill a cancer patient? Throw a fridge at him.

why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7-8-9

Why was the white man's baby black? The mother was black.

Knock Knock! Who's there? John Simons. This joke lacks a punchline. Yes, yes it does.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a shark? One is a person and one is a fish. Other than that, not much at all.

What is black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Not black berries because black berries come from a bush.

In Soviet Russia its very cold

What did tyler say to Jake? My pussy is wet jew

the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

Why'd the asian man cross the road? I dont know, who cares? Just leave the guy alone

What's brown and green and if it falls out of a tree on top of you, it will kill you? A pool table

What did the fat girl say to her friend? I'm fat.

What's your guys names?

What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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