One day a object is flying overhead in a city and a man in a crowd of pedestrians yells, "It's a bird!" another man yells, "It's a plane!" No one else says anything as they stare at the two men that had become so excited about a possibly seeing a bird or an airplane.

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I walked up to my friend who's a drug addict holding a can of coke. I then told said friend that I liked the smell of coke. My friend then went on to snort 27 Kilos of cocaine.

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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A Blond and a Brunette are falling down to their deaths, which one hits the ground first? Does it matter? They both die anyway.

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Poop.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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How many blonde's does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to hold the ladder and one to peel the carrotts

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I think people who go to see a psychiatrist need their head examining.

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So give me head, or I queue you!

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He decided to sail to Portland. He cast off and was never seen again.

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Lol, okay you have made Nero of the clan of the Moralians the mighty laugh and go aww... Seriously, first of all, WHAT THE FUCK IS NAUSEUS? Secondly, okay its Ridge Racer, close enough, aww, seriously that sounds like the cutest thing, I mean did you bleed? DID YOU HARM YOURSELF! DELIGHTFUL... Moral: Seriously though, seeing you tilt over while playing a racing game, kinda cute, just put a pillow there next time you know just saying, because I play videogames, I cant go sexytime for hours without pumping some ADRENALINE INTO MY MIGHTY ROD OF STONEFLESH!

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Q: what do you call a man eating some chicken ? A: a hungry man (hahahahahahaha.......i should get a life)

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An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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What did the man want for his birthday? Chicken dinner serves 2-3 people

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry, he used lube.

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Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, I very sorry.

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Q. What is worse than being raped A. Being raped twice

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What's round and cheesy? A cheese wheel.

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What did the dog say to the house? Roof

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Why was the little kid sad at a funeral. He was actually happy and he was at six flags

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Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KKK, got any blacks?

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Why don't lesbians use dildoes? Because they look just like a big penises.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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