Roses are red, violets are black, you better watch your anus, cause jimmy is back!!

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Why did the elephant cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

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Hey! do you have any updog? Nothing much! you?

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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How many victims of the holocaust does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. They're all dead you sick fuck.

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matty russel are you on here

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being held for random.

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What is yellow, and cannot swim? A School Bus.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

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What's that Lassie? Timmy fell in the well again? And you couldn't care less because the stupid kid never looks where he's going?

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Ily bae

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Why did Tupac Shakur get shot? He was a famous and very controversial celebrity, which naturally led to having a lot of enemies.

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Whats bloody and wrinkly? Your nans fanny

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Miley Cyrus.

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Why did spock look in the toilet he was concerned with his poop

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, ask him.

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What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

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Knock, knock. Whose there? Me. Leave.

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Why did thomas make a big mess on the ground? Beacuse he fell of a cliff

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What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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