what did the black, asian and jew have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantoulope.

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

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Robert Muldoon: "Clever girl..." Velociraptor: "I appreciate your compliment, but I will still eat your face."

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the fried chicken restaurant... BAWK BAWK cannibal

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There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

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What's worse then ten dead babies being nailed to a tree? Being the one to take them down.

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Why do women where make-up and perfume? because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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Q: What did the black guy say to the white guy? A: Nothing, he's a mute.

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what did jacob say to coach a joke

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What was the only animal to not board the ark in pairs? Loads of animals because it didn't happen.

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Your mother is so fat, she struggles to control her weight even with dieting. Obesity and heart disease runs is in her mother's side of the family; she and everyone close to her is very concerned.

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What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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How do you get a blonde to break a nail? Smash her finger with a wrench.

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing. He's a mute.

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You know whats funny? Women's rights

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What did the black do when a man robbed his house? He called 911

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What did little Robbie get for Christmas? AIDS

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What do you get when you stab Al with a sword? At

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If I met your mom before you was born, you would still be born.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the rest of the kids during recess? Tiffany is a pencil.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? They had a sale on dresses on the other side.

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a turtle? A bunch of nosy ass people wondering wtf you're doing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops