Ya know what's funny? A joke well-told by a professional comedian.

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Steve

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If youre African, why are you white?

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Q.why did the woman die A.she left the refrigerator door open then left the kitchen

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What happens when you put a squid in the microwave? It dies.

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Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

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What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

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- Wanna see a magic trick? - Sure - Too bad. I don't know any.

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What is fat and white? A polar bear with a glandular problem.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a well respected member of the community.

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what is long and bare? polonaise to the pediatric ward what is short and bald? same polonaise, 3 weeks later

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Iceland is actually green and Greenland is actually icy and Germany started the Holocaust.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? According to the theory of evolution, chickens are descendent's of dinosaurs, meaning that a dinosaur laid an egg, eventually creating a chicken thus meaning that the egg came first.

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Womens rights.

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Q: why can't women drive? A: because there is no road between the kitchen and the bedroom

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what do you call an albino brown bear a polar bear

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The Holocaust

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What did one deaf mute say to the other deaf mute?

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What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops