A day without sunshine is like night.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

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Whatsthe difference between a pile of dead babies and a chicken? Chickens don't make me laugh.

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What's worse than finding a bug in your soup? The Holocaust

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What's fat and ginger? My dog.

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Your mama is so black, she contributes regularly to the NAACP and the United Negro College Fund. Her donations and volunteer work help greatly.

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A lesbian couple, a straight couple, and a gay couple walk into a bar. They enjoy their drinks and camaraderie.

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what did the carrot say to the rabbit? stop eating me you son of a B*****

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

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I think I lost my number so can I... No you can't because phone numbers can't be lost

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What do you call an elephant and a rhino mixed? Ahellifiknow.

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A marine biologist is captured by a group of violent pirates. After hours of being tortured, the pirates make him walk the plank. As he is pushed on to the plank, they ask him for his one last request. He responds "Kill yourselves." The pirates proceed to stab themselves until they bleed out and the marine biologist is the last man on the boat.

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whats the difference between a European and a african an african has more pigment in his skin due to prolonged exposure to light

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Lard and Liz lard,lard and Liz

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Is every Voltorb a terrorist?

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What do you do when life throws lemons at you? Take out your lemon shield and retreat deep into your lemon proof bunker.

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knock knock who's there BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! who OPEN THE DOOR ITS THE POLICE

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When life gives you lemons, you should be wondering how "life" managed to give you those lemons.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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Who's a pedophile and not afraid to show it? The clown from McDonald

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How do you make an electrician cry? Kill his family.

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Your mom is so ugly that you should buy her a paper bag to cover her face because she is just so very unattractive that it burns mine and everyone else's eyes.

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Not lying Red, I have my contacts, I am a "facilitator", I pull strings for my employers, and sure the FBI has me on their files, after all we have cooperated with them. Not because I wanted to, but because its my job, and it helps me use the best of my abilities and limited education (I am technically an educated lawyer, and not an agent).

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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