A man goes into a store to buy some bread, He asks a woman behind the counter for help. She says " We have white, wheat, or rye. What kind would you like?" . To which the man replies, " It does not matter, I rode my bicycle.

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Why was the man so hungry? Because he hadn't eaten in days.

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Chuck Norris can right-click with a mac mouse

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What happens to the man with cancer He dies Because the pharmaceutical company wanted to profit off a synthetic drug equal to marijuana

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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your mammas so poor she is probably going die in a few days of starvation

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb that explodes in 3 seconds inside your apple.

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There was a blond girl, a redhead, and a brunette. They all walk into a hotel and are granted equally friendly desk service because hair color is not a reliable indicator of intelligence or economic status.

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Wizard: If you could get any one thing in the world, what would it be son? Son: Another father that grants more wishes.

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Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

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What happens if a Muslim leaves their bag on a bus? They quickly return onto the bus and get it.

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How do you make a Bong Ki mad? Call him a Bong Ki.

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What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

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A guy takes out his club and hits a baby seal with a fine for $50 for littering and threatens to smash the seal's favorite ceramic figurine with the club if he doesn't pay the fine. The man is a park ranger and takes littering very seriously.

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How did the black guy swim across the Atlantic? He didn't. He was prepared to, but then went on Expedia and found a ticket with Continental Airlines that was in his budget. He did not like the amount of service he recieved, and decided in the future he will save up and fly with a different company, or in fact swim across.

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Why can't Abraham Lincoln lie? Because he is dead.

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Why did the baby stop crying? It had been smothered to death by it's sleep- deprived single mother.

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Michael Jackson walks into a bar No he doesn't. He's dead.

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A black man, a Mexican, and a Jew walk into a bar. The white bartender kills them all because he was a huge racist.

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Mr. Burns sex scandal.

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A duck walks into a bar- nope, just chuck testa...

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Why was the T-Rex always sad? He couldn't clap his hands.

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Young Billy was arrested today for saying he was going to be a terrorist for Halloween.

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Why did the chicken cross the road To go to KFC

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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