Whats the difference of a pile of dead babys and a lambrogini? One of them is not inside of my garage.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am color-blind, I hate my life

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Billy was taking a stroll in the forest, when suddenly he met a bear. Billy remember what his father had taught him, and quikly lied down on the ground, pretending to be dead. The bear started licking Billy's face. Still he remained calm. The bear bit off Billys finger. Still he did not move. When the bear ate Billy's foot, he nearly panicked. But thinking of his wife and children he mustered his last remaining strenght, and did not move a muscle. If he tried to run or fight the bear he would surely die and never see them again. Then the bear ate Billys head.

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Pick up Lines skeet skeet skeet! JLR

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How do you get a hot blonde to do your laundry? At knife point.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. What does he order? Nothing. The horse was incapable of speaking English then shat on the floor, kicked over a chair and then left.

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Why is Osama bin laden so hard to find? Because he is dead.

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why did jimmy loose the bike race. because he never entered.

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What do you call a black man that has a family with a white woman? A good husband and father who had a stable job in a not so stable economy. The current issues of inflation has made it hard for him, but his dedication pays his bills and feeds his family. He later will die a sad death caused by prostate cancer at the age of 47.

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learn. advance!

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How are Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga similar? They are both men except Justin Beiber

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whats red and smells like blue paint? blue paint on the rag

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What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower. A Mexican that is fresh out of college and does not yet own a lawnmower.

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Your mother is of a healthy weight and a pleasure to be around.

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Where do you go when you find a fork in the road? To the nearest restaurant.

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why did the clown fall off the swing because he got shot in the face

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What's black, white, and hungry? The population of Zimbabwe.

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Q: How do you scream at a purple? A: Black people

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Wanna hear a story bout my uncle turza.... My uncle turza was eating fruit loops one day and there was a squirrel in the trre from 2 days ago he got angry because the spoon was from the phillipines so he punched a whole in the wall and his half uncle cousins sister had a cage.... True story

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Why was the sock sad? Impossible. Socks dont have emotions.

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The Mets win the World Series

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why did the white man read the New York Times? because HuffPo is horrible. I mean, it's so so so shitty. it's like a wannabe buzzfeed, which ought to say it all.

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Why did the man stop dead in his tracks? He was on top of a land mine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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