How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

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What did John the accountant do when he saw a flying dog, He woke up from a wonderful dream and started his day

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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You have a birthday party and invite 5 celebrities: Britney spears, Lady Gaga, Hulk Hogan, Barack Obama, and Oprah. Meanwhile, there is a cow in a nearby pasture pooping.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&Ms factory? Because she slapped the boss when he made a pass at her. Afterwhich she reported the incident to her Union and the boss was fired for Sexual Harassment. She was then rehired with a substantial increase in salary.

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Your momma is so dumb... that when she took an IQ test she score pretty low on it.

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-What did the duck say to Federico Costa nearby the phonebox in a rainy day? -Quack

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Knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Just me

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A Jew and a German walk in a bar. they've accepted their peoples past and learned to move on with their lives

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''Levi Johnston is running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. Ironically, many of the babies he'll kiss on the campaign trail will be his own.''

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A guy at a baseball game....

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If Dwayne the Rock Johnson was short who would he look like? Dwayne the Rock Johnson.

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Two people are sitting on a 10th story window sill. They both fall off and die.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

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What do you call a white guy pointing a gun at someone? A member of the United States Army.

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

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What did the man get on his birthday the week before he died? Obamacare

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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