Roses are Tits Violets are Tits I love Tits TITS!

An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

what does the pope have against homosexuals a whip

What's the difference between a dead dog lying in the middle of the street and a dead black man lying in the middle of the street? The physical differences you would commonly expect to be between a human being and a dog.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because I shot him. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because his tail was stapled to the other monkey.

A kid walked in to a bar, grabbed a napkin, and left

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

Knock, Knock. Who's There? Its Greg. I forgot my keys, can you let me back in?

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mountainous mound of slain human offspring? There is none, the second is conferred to the subject of a conversation using a highly advanced vernacular.

What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

What's funnier than shooting a moose? The realization that the moose was Sarah Jessica Parker...

Why did the kid take the trash out to the movies? Because his mum said take out the trash

What is better than getting a job? Getting a better job.

Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

What's a fun thing to do on a plane? Make a bolt to the pilot, smash his brains in with a iron pipe and make the plane plummet a few hundred feet with a maniacal laugh until you wake up from your dream and scream at your mother to wipe you.

Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

up your butt with a cocunut up butt cocunut

what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped and left to die in the snow.

Quinn Grifith Randel lives in Roswell, GA

How do you get Pikachu on a bus? You don't, Pikachu is a fictional character therefore doesn't exist

Why did Hellen Keller get hit by a car? She didn't see it coming. (TD)

What is funnier than dead babies? Dead babies aren't funny, Carlos Mencia and Tom Bergeron are funny.

Please? No.

Why did the boy fall out of his tree house? the tree house was hit by lightning

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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