What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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two muffins are in a oven the one muffin says jee its hot in here and the other muffin says wow a talking muffin

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Know what would be awkward, if a GPS told a gay guy to get straight.

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what's funny about war? nothing!

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Person 1: "Broo my dicks like 19 inches!" Person 2: "Thas not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you."

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Why did the Middle east send Doris a camel's penis? Because Uncle Monty's head was damn tasty

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Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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How does a chubby baby eat his chili In a very chubby way with his hands smearing it all over is face

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Why are there no more monkeys jumping on the bed? I shot them all.

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why wouldnt sally stop spinning? she was trapped in a washing machine

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:y do people talk? ;idk :oh then nevermind

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? Jamal

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What do you call a dead baby lying in the road? A Tragedy

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Nicole: Shove it where the sun don't shine! Katlyn: I'm richer than you! Nicole: Shut your frickin' mouth! Katlyn: You'll be bankrupt! (This conversation was recorded while Nicole and Katlyn were playing Monopoly. They both died in a car accident later that day...)

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Ditto, the Slut Pokemon. Ditto is a bisexual f@ggot who will f*ck any Pokemon that moves.

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what happened to the retarded dyslexic? he retard on his 60th birthday and took up gardening.

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whats worse than school...wait a minute?

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Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

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what do u say to a girl after you have sex with her? i like cheese

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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How do you stop an asshole from being an asshole toward you? Shoot him in the head.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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