What's worse than spending time with your girlfriend? Nothing.

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a guy who can fly walks up a hill and jumps off a cliff. his flying power fails him and he dies on impact

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Why did the man go to the restaurant? Because he wanted to get some food.

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What do a grape and an airplane have in common? They both have wings! except not the grape.

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Once upon a time a girl took a gun and shot herself in the face

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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What do you do to a duck with no bill? Please, leave the duck alone, it's bad enough for him having no bill.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong is an astronaut. Michael Jackson abuses little kids.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? Another successful moon landing by NASA in which the African-American astronaut went on a successful moon walk.

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A welsh guy walks into a pub. This something any average guy would do.

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What did the deaf boy get for Christmas? Something like udgtationdaidnmgf

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What's funnier then 24... The Holocost

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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If at first you don't succeed, there's a very substantial probability that you failed.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? one is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and one is a watermelon

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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How do you get a Virginia graduate off of your porch? Pay him for the pizza

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what do you call a man with a mop? a janitor.

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What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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What's green and fuzy and could kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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A priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi sit next to each other on a plane they say nothing to each other during the flight and reach their destinations safely.

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How did the rock cross the road? It didn't cause it's a rock.

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what was sad about six black guys driving off a cliff in a cadallac? They were my friends

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops