Do they have a fourth of July in England? Yes, but it is just a sad reminder to them that all the cool people left for America.

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible

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What would people call Michael Jackson if he became president? Probably President Jackson

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Me and the wife spent her Birthday in bed, if you know what I mean. We're both severely disabled.

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Why dont we just make fun of both? *mexican music plays*

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Meow.

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Why did Susie fall off of the swing? She was hit by an asteroid.

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whats funny? a relatsion ship for 16 hours

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Did you hear the joke about the pencil? Nevermind it was pointless.

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Roses are red Pickles are green I leik ur legs and whats inbetween

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Your mama is so fat. Just look at her.

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There is a tiger in front of you a lion behind you and a bear beside you what do you do? Get of the marry go round

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Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

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What do you call a deaf, blind socialist? Helen Keller.

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What's black and white and red all over? Two nuns in a chainsaw fight.

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Why don't Polish girls swim in the sea? The only sea that Poland borders on is the Baltic. Throughout most of the year this sea is too cold to comfortably swim in.

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What is the best way to eat a dead baby? I don't know. That is incredibly disgusting.

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An Italian man with a very thick accent decides to travel to America. On arriving, he decides to take a taxi and tour the nearby city. The man, feeling hungry after a while, chooses to stop at a bakery. Upon entering the bakery, the man walks up to the display of bread, and points at the loaves of bread he wanted, calling to the baker "I want 2 piece." The baker, not understanding the man's accent asks the man to repeat what he said. So the man repeats, "I want 2 piece, right here, right now." "Sure thing," the baker says, and gives the man the loaves of bread.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he does what he wants.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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What do you call someone who takes a toaster into their bath? Adele's number one fan.

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A man walks into a bra. Bra kills him...

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What's red and green? A frog in a blender!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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