whats silver and cries? a coin, although it can't cry because its a coin. So it's just silver

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How did Pablo get into America from Mexico? He drove here!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

There was a girl who was allergic to peanuts she ate peanuts and died the next day. She got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What does it mean if you have 5$ and Chuck Norris has 5$? Congrats! You both have five dollars!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? obviously quite a lot due to the fact that they are two completely different ideas with little to no relation to each other.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Hey guys wanna here a joke? Never mind it was a gay joke but f**k it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? Ask politely.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What’s worse than taking a bite out of your apple and finding a worm? Taking a bite out of your apple and finding half a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What do you do when you see four black people and a Jew? You buy them

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the black guy drink the kool aid? Because there was a glass of kool aid next to him and he was thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? An effect of an overcrowded theme park

thumb_up thumb_down -35

"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Dear Sarah, My name is Jesse, and I am severely overweight. BOUNCE ON MY DICK LIKE TYGA BITCH, Your lover, Jesse.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is green, brown, has four legs and would kill you if it fell on you from out of a tree? A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To return to its nest.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a black man running down the street? A promising athlete in training.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

wanna no wats not funny........ aids

thumb_up thumb_down -1

The only time when white and black are together When I've just taken a shit! ?ttis

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops