What the difference between a alien and you nothing

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You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's cheese.

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A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

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What sits in the corner of room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler

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SUCK MY 29 AND A HALF FOOT LONG DICK BITCH JUST KIDDING............ IT IS 69 FEET LONG GIGADY

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How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

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A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

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why is your mother dead? because i killed him.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally!

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Why couldn't the boy sing? The boy could sing, but the thick layer of duct tape prevented him from doing so.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like ass, And no one loves you!

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Why didn't the girl take her hairbrush to school? She has cancer and all her hair fell out.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? A robber who will most likely kill you along with anyone else who will ruin their chances of becoming more wealthy off your most prized possessions.

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a blond applies to college she gets in because she did well in highschool

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Hello, I'm David and I just stabbed my aunt in the eye. Just kidding, my name isn't David. That was an Aunt Eye(anti) joke.

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PENIS

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Q: What do you call a man driving a van with a bunch of stuff in the back that doesn't belong to him? A: A delivery man

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You: Want to hear a joke? Person: Yeah You: Me too

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I'm getting tired of nazi jokes. ANNE FRANKly I'm quite offended

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how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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