Why did the Old Lady cross the road? Because the worm selected her as a weapon

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Why did Michael dye. Because he was dyslexic and a plain fell on his noggin.

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What's black and white and in the desert? Tourists being held hostage by a tribe.

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? Because they're not free.

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a young boy once lost his mind and then his parents weeped because their son had been decapatated in a horrible motorcycle accident caused by a drunk who had just killed his wife and children and was running from the cops....

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How do you drown in a tea cup? You find a big enough tea cup.

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What is white and cannot jump? A refridgerator.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa? He's Jewish.

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Take off your shoes.

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why didn't the food in your microwave warm up ? because you didn't press start.

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A Jew and a Muslim are sitting in a bar. The Muslim asks the Jew for some money to buy a drink. The Jew said, "how much?" The Muslim said, "$7.00" The Jew then said, "yes."

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why did the skeleton drop his juice? Because he has no stomach LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

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Why did the audience walk out of the movie? Because it had just finished.

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whats brown and sticky? Doody

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Ill admit it Nero, although you act like a savage you make a fine statement there, maybe we will ask her to join one time huh?

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So a guy with no legs and no arms is on his death bed. He asks to sky dive one time before he dies.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it doesn't matter, it got turned into KFC before it crossed.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it.

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what is the difference between me and a grown black man.... i went to school

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Why couldn't the mexican buy a boat? Because he couldn't afford it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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