Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

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Q: Why did the Asian man get fired from his job? A: He sexually assaulted his co-workers

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Why couldn't the girl charge her phone? The charger wasn't plugged in.

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Two blondes are out for a walk when they come across some tracks, they realise they are train tracks and move out of the way to make sure they aren't hit by a train.

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Roses are red, Violet are blue. I just thought I'd let you know, But don't worry- this isn't a poem.

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A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

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what language does the turtle speak? i dont know I'm not a turtle.

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What's blue and smells like red paint Blue paint.

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whats worse than getting a papercut on the tip of your finger? getting crushed by a refrigerator

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Certainly not Sally

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I am blind

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Q: What did Yoda do at the end of star wars when he lost his light saber? A: He asked the prop guy if he had any more and he happened to have another and they went on with making the great film many still love today.

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Your mom is so fat, that she has unsightly stretch marks.

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Well... My reputation is still kinda exaggerated apparently. What you experienced is called astral projection, some people claim it is the same as lucid dreaming, I beg to differ, the difference is vast. You basically just admitted that people believe much more in you, than you believe in yourself, without believing hypnosis does not work, people are like "bah its just suggestions", its true, but underestimating the power of suggestions is a pretty bad call.

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Whats a welfare? Its what keeps you alive.

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What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus isn't real. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm talking to him!"

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Whats worse than 1 dead baby in a bag? Ten dead babies in one bag.

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? Because it tastes good.

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Roses are red violets are blue poems don't have to rhyme..... Refrigerator

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Why couldnt the boy lick his elbows? Because he lost his arms after he was violently beaten by his drunk father with a bat.

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A Jew walks into a bar. It probably hurt

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Your mother is so fat that her BMI is larger than average.

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Why was Little Billy sad? Because he got shot.

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What is funnier than 24? 25! hahahahahaha!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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