What is big, green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree and hit you in the head, it will probably kill you? A pool table.

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Why do you walk to your bed at night? Beds cant walk.

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A black man and a jew both fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? the black man

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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Why did the young Mexican apply for a job at McDonalds? The economy is down and his family could use the extra money.

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Guy 1: why are you such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most p***y

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What happened to the dog who lost its legs? It Died.

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How many mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan.

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Q: What did the pedestrian say to the bus driver that hit him? A: Nothing, he died.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. What does one say to the other? Nothing. They are both inanimate objects and can't speak.

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was uneducated and was not aware of the dangers of streets in heavily populated cities.

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a gay guy walks into a bar what does he do? buys a drink after a hard day at work

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What's the difference between George Washington and Wiz Khalifa? George Washington died many years ago.

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What is the difference between a black man dead in the middle of the road... and a deer dead in the middle of the road? One is a human and one is an animal

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John, your son. Now open the door.

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Why did the lemon eat salt? I DON'T KNOW!!

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Why does a black man break into a car? Because he had closed the windows and locked his keys inside.

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What have you got there? Hitler's gas bill... Oh.. don't show him that, he'll be furious Whys that? He can't read.

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What's cold, limp, approximately 65 pounds, and being dragged out of that pool with no safety fence over there? Not important, lets go get some Wendy's man.

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Why do black people eat at KFC? Because KFC serves good food at reasonable prices.

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why did the kids pull the fire alarm? because there was a fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops