Why couldn't the 10-year-old go to the moon? Because it's the Moo-oo-ooo... no you can't come!

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What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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Why did the blonde put lysol in the soup? to kill her husband

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whats fat round and bouncing off the ground= George goodburn

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What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

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What did Osama bin Laden say to Jesus? Nothing. He's in hell.

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what is the best way to start a car? put in the key and turn it.

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Once upon a time there were three aliens. The first alien landed in a school,The second alien landed in a market, and the third alien landed in a preschool. When the first one landed the teacher asked the students who wants to go to the computer lab,all the students said me! me! me! and the alien learned me! me! me! When the second one landed the businessman asked him what he wanted, and he saw a toy gun and it talks and the gun said gun! gun! gun! and the alien learned it and said gun! gun! gun! Then when the third alien landed one preschooler stole another preschoolers lollipop then he said "He stole my lollipop"! And the alien learned it and said "he stole my lollipop!" Then someone got murdered and the three aliens went there and the murderer detective asked "Who killed that man!" And the first alien said me! Me! Me! "What did you kill him with!" Then the second alien said gun! gun! gun! "Why'd you kill him!" Then the third alien said "He stole my lollipop!" And that's it folks! ????????????????????????????????

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Schroedingers cat walked into a bar... and it didnt.

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What did batman say to robin when they got to their car? Get in the car

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He removes the piece of lingerie from his face and continues shopping for clothes.

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A man walks into a pet store. He then says "This isn't the bar" and leaves.

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What is worse than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Obama

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Two cannibals are eating around a fire in the jungle, and one turns to the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?" Oh yeah, and they're eating a clown.

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what do you call a black pilot? A) a pilot

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Yo mama soooooo dumb! You should really take her to a doctor, she might actually suffer from mental retardation, I'm just concerned about her.

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What do you call a black person driving a plane? A pilot, because you dont want to call him anything racist i mean he is driving you up 25,000 ft in the air and the last thing you want is for him to get mad and decide to do something rational, God, you racists.

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knock knock. whos there? the police. we have news about your daughter. She has been tortured and raped and you will never see her again for the man that took her has taken her out of our jurisdiction.

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Who pushed joe off the building? Nobody. joe hated his life and wanted to die

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The.

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you: guess what somebody: what? you: you have cancer

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There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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Knock knock Who's there My BUTTCRACK

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why do woman travel in packs? because men don't travel like the sisterhood in the traveling pants

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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