A Quadriplegic walked into a bar,

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why was osama bin laden shot and killed? because he was a very violent man and deserved his punishment

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A poor woodcutter accidentally dropped his axe into the nearby river when taking a particularly forceful swipe at the tree he was cutting. He felt so dejected he wept. Then, the goddess of the river appeared. "What ails thee, my dear man?" she asked. "My axe -- it fell in the river!" stuttered the weeping woodcutter. "Do not worryI am the goddess of this river, and will find your axe!" said the River Goddess and dived into the river. After waiting eagerly for several minutes, the woodcutter was resigned to the fact that he had imagined the River Goddess.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally raped and murder six's parents whilst six hid in the closet and watched.

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A knock knock B who's there A nobody

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There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

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what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

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what happened when spongebob and Patrick were mean to sandy? she made a hurricane

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Once upon a time there was a man that was exercising and he pulled a muscle and had to have his arm removed. The end.

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Jonny runs with scissors. He gets hit by a bus.

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Why did the pony go to the Doctor's? It had Horse AIDS.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a pleasant evening as they talk to each other about their day over a relaxing drink.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

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Is that a gun? Or are you forcing your boner into my back? Or is it something completely different that shares the physical characteristics of guns and boners?

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

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Why was the boy at the funeral? Because he was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road To go to KFC

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why did reed eat a fish? He had cancer of the testicles

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies. I don't have a Ferrari in garage.

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What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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How to you get a clown off a swing? You shoot it in the face.

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What did the blonde say when she was asked what color her hair was ? Blonde.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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