Q-why did the dog run away? A-he was Michael vick's dog

Q-what did the bus say to the other bus? A-nothing, buses are incapable of talking

What is the biggest lie in the world? I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

What starts with "p" and ends with "orn" Popcorn

Jimmy can't drive the tractor. Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he's a patato

What do you call a black man that steal from your shop? A thief

What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

my names jim haha

How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree? you wave.

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witnesses, can we have a moment of your time?

So a man walking down a nature trail came across an injured fox laying on the ground in pain, it looked like it was attacked recently. There wasn't much the man could do at the time, so he gently picked up the fox and rushed the fox to his house. The man arrives moments later at his house with the fox. There were a lot of options the man could choose, but he went with a simple recipe. The man grabbed a knife and gutted the fox, removing all unnecessary organs. He then skinned the fox of it's fur. He sliced the head off, cut the legs to a stub, and stuffed it. He gave it a nice seasoning and placed it in the oven at about 350F for 6 hours. When the fox was perfectly cooked, it was taken out of the oven and left to sit for about 5 minutes to cool. He cut a chunk of meat from the dish and sat down to eat. "What a fine meal" the man said.

Why did the black man cry? He was grieving the death of his brother C.D

osama is obame quincadence or aluminatti????

4 Jews are killed during a car accident, the whole city mourns over there death and create a plaque in their honor.

Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

How to find if your overweight? Ask your friend to make a big clay volcano, out of baking soda and vinegar. While its erupting if you're too busy eatin five course dinner. FAT

Q. What goes "ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP"? A. Nothing does.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday, Popeyes has a special sale buy one get one free fried chicken. The chicken was like "Oh hell no, today's Tuesday? I'm funna get my feathery-asss out of here.." However, chickens do not know what day it is, nor do they care about being captured by humans. I also made up the part when the chicken began talking.

Why did the student fail his test? Because he has AIDS darragh hamilton

Why should you paint a canoe black? Being the darkest color, it will hide dirt, scratches, and normal wear and tear on your canoe better than lighter colors.

Why didn't Bill go to the party? He wasn't invited.

Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? Everywhere

women's rights.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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