Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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If an anti joke is told, and it is about an aunty is it an aunty anti joke? Adolf Hitler.

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Why was Junior sad? His parents were killed in a car crash.

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What type of pants do Mario and Luigi wear? Levi or Denim, I'm not sure why but probably because you can get a nice fitting pair for only a couple of bucks.

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A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Hey, 2 beers please" The bartender asks why he is ordering two, as he is alone. The man replies "There is a taxi waiting for me outside."

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Q: Why did the little boy have freckles? A: Heredity

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Whats the difference between a cow and another cow Help my dogs eating me

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What happens 2 seconds after you thorw a rock out a two-story window? The rock hits the ground.

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So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

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What did the little gril with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer

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How do you make Yoda sad? Kill all of his friends.

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Q: Whats red and not a penis A: A lot of things

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The 70's called. They had the wrong number.

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A boy grows up loving tractors. For birthday and Christmas each year he got a tractor toy of some kind, until the age of 17, when he finally gave up tractors and got himself a CD player. One day, listening to all the latest tunes with some headphones, he looks outside to see his neighbour's house on fire. He goes outside to find firemen trying to put out the blaze. He jumps into the blazing house and inhales as much as he can, which astonishingly puts out the blaze. A fireman confusing asked "How did you do that?" The boy replies, " I'm an ex-tractor fan."

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Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

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What happens when you put a bunch of Republicans in a room together? They form a caucus.

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How Long is a Chinese man.

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I ate a pancake for breakfast not

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why was the little boy crying? he wasnt, he died 2 weeks ago

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I wont say I got much money, but neither do I need it, just be honest to me, because if you lie, every advice I give you, could cost you or me everything, our lives, our families... Collateral damage is a term used very often and lightly ever since 9/11

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Why did the blonde jump off the bridge? She was clinically depressed and wanted to end her life

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How do you make a clown sad? Rape his wife, choke his grandma and send him a video of you setting his children on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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