A cat walks into a bar. What's the first thing it says? Absolutely nothing. It was knocked out.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer dragged him.

If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

You know what's worse than having friends with a lake houses Not being invited to their lake house...

How many dollies does little Suzie have? Enough to kill 15 men

how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

wanna here an anti joke scroll down

Why the bird can't fly? Because i cutt off his wings.

what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

17 people are eating doritos in a cafeteria. Then, one gets up and throws their bag away. Then the joke ended. Haha it actually didn't.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

What did the green grape say to the purple grape? BREATH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Why did Tommy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Tommy.

Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a dog in your apple

Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

Q: What do you call a ginger with no soul? A: Common

He who laughs last...is not a laughing owl because they're extinct.

How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

Knock Knock Opens door because they were expecting visitors

How do you get a kid to shut up? You ducttape his mouth,legs, and arms and throw him in a pit

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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