What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was struck by a car and killed instantly by the impact.

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What did the underaged man say when he walked in the bar? He asked for a Coke.

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter it's not going to come to you anyway.

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What should'nt you say to a rape victim. Rape.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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What is the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The word anti before anti-joke.

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How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

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What did the kind hearted wolf do when he saw the small, helpless, fluffy bunny? He ate it.

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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roses are red, bitches are blue close your damn legs and use a condom too.

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Whats worse than breaking your pencil? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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An anorexic women walks into McDonalds

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Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and the Devil all walk into a bar. Biden and Obama order a couple of beers and begin quietly conversing, while their security detail stands next to them. "The Devil" is actually a heavily tattooed performance artist, who in 1999 legally changed his name from Jim Larson. He has just gotten off work at his day job (a paralegal at a medium-sized firm), and is relaxing with a Johnnie Walker at the bar. Although he notices the president and vice president nearby, he has seen many politicians during his time working in DC, and so hardly pays attention.

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Why did the Calculus teacher give an Asian student an F on a test? Because he got less than 60% of the answers correct.

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In Soviet Russia, there was a population of approx. 293,047,571 people. It was dissolved in 1991, it is now know as Russia or the Russian Federation.

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What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

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I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

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Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

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A black guy and a white guy jump out of a tree, who hits the ground first? They both hit at the same time while sustaining minor injuries.

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Three men walk into a bar. Something happens not at relating to them.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? feel the other side of the worm in his mouth

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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