Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being molested by a giant octopus.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a muslim? A terrorist

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock, knock. Who's there? ...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is worse than ten babies in the street, eleven babies in the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did Billy get his dad for Father's day? Nothing, his dad was killed by a spinning helicopter blade when Billy was 3.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Chikin nuggets are cooler than your mom!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

47

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the black kid in the AP Calculus classroom? Because he was a very driven student, who studied hard so that he could attend a good University and build a good life for himself and his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the whale cross the ocean? To reproduce as a way of life.

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhymming you have nice boobs

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the snappy dresser take a button off of a coat? To see a button fly! NO YOU IDIOT YOU DID IT WRONG, IT'S SUPPOSED TO ABOUT ABOUT A "BUTTER FLY" OMG YOU DOLT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What does a fish say when it swims into a wall? Damn

thumb_up thumb_down -15

oh whatever Greece isn't going to leave the eurozone shut up about it already

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the sound of one hand clapping? The same as two hands; just not as loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did i try to write a funny joke? Cuz i was desperately bored.....

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what happened to the man who got hit by a truck driven by Obama? he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what is worst than 1 bee stings two bee stings what is worst than two bee stings holocaust what is worse than three bee stings getting raped by a giant scorpion

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops