What's blue and looks just like water? Water.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You are Nerochan right?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

When Nicki Minaj wrote her song "Stupid Hoe" she was sublimminally talking about her self.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the asian man crash into the stop sign? Because there was a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you make a Muslim mad? You burn the Quran.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the school bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? He actaully never did. He only made it half way before a cop issued him with an infringement notice for jaywalking.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Laws are initially proposed in Parliament as bills. They become Acts after being approved three times by Parliamentary votes and then receiving Royal Assent from the Governor-General. The majority of bills are promulgated by the government of the day (that is, the party or parties that have a majority in Parliament). It is rare for government bills to be defeated, indeed the first to be defeated in the twentieth century was in 1998. It is also possible for individual MPs to promote their own bills, called member's bills; these are usually put forward by opposition parties, or by MPs who wish to deal with a matter that parties do not take positions on.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many polish people does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. The polish are a civilized and prosperous country.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats funny? ebola and 911

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

thumb_up thumb_down -33

a boy put a blanket oveer his head one night... He was warm for the rest of the night

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how do you put a giraffe in a fridge? open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. how do you put an elephant in a fridge? open the door, take out the giraffe, put the elephant in and close the door. the lion king is holding a conference in the jungle and all the animals turn up except for one, which animal is missing? the elephant, it's in the fridge. you come across a river you need to cross, but it is infested with man-eating crocodiles, how to you cross the river without dying? just swim across, all the crocodiles are at the conference.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did the chicken cross the road? why should a chickens motives be questioned

thumb_up thumb_down -71

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend........... Wiped his ass

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why was the little boy brutally murdered? there was a serial killer in his town.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what is the difference between pizza and a Jew? pizza is a common Italian meal and a Jew is a member of a monotheistic religion

thumb_up thumb_down +57

holocaust is bad but its funny when you use it as a joke hehe

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What really killed Adolf Hitler? The gas bill

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the orange so serious? He was trying to concentrate.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Okay, but cut me some slack here, its not as straight forward as it sounds, I got at least twice as many active synapses as other people do, that means twice the thought process, in video games I can for example remember twice the commands, and such. Sadly this does not mean that I can think twice as fast or twice as smart, but rather that I do so involuntarily in short spans, until I burn myself out. So be a bit nice to me, when I say that I have since I was a kid used about 2.5-7.5 mg valium, this is just because my thought process works so fast I burn out because well, I got the processor, but it burns out, excuse me my wife needs some help with her cellphone, see you soon

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Two chairs were sitting there. One chair says "Could you pass me that cup?" The other chair says "Oh my God a talking chair!"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops