A man walks into a bar with a monkey...I forget the rest but your mother is a hor.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did jimmy cross the road? Because that was the direction the cannon was pointing.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its head.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

more like nig!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Yo momma is so poor when she went to the bank the teller was like " you have no money."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the white male say to the black male who had just robbed a bank? I'm glad you have a reliable source of income to feed yourself and your family

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what has 911 got in commen with most bank robberies? all r inside jobs

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's worse than a spilled ice cream cone? 2 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 2 spilled ice cream cones? 3 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 3 spilled ice cream cones? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? 4 spilled ice cream cones.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what did you call a bench full of white guys? The NBA

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How many dead body can you hide in a hole? 100. Forget the fat guy

thumb_up thumb_down -34

XD A COZY FIGHT XD WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? I am gonna kick your ass, break your face and then give you a kiss on the cheek as your mangled corpse bleeds out... XD :)) THANKS FOR THE LAUGHTER XD XD Reminds me of a former comment where you describe the local weather, you know, we do not live that far away from each other, hell it was actually the time, we are completely in the same timezone, so anyway, do you also get cartoon network on your television?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first moneky.. Why did the 3rd monkey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game.. Why did the 4th monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure..

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A gay man takes another gay man home after a wild night at the city's top club. They choose to be safe and not have gay sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why are the asians on cabin services? Because they do not speak english well enough to converse with guests.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why do black people sit so far back in their seats? Because they're used to sitting in the back of the bus

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She got kicked in the face by a mule.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is black and white and red all over? Black people in a blender. I lied about the white

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the baby cross the road? he was taped to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a banana.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what did one computer say to the other .........

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops