Why did the audience walk out of the movie? Because it had just finished.

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whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

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Man 1- What's red, black, and white all over? Man 2- What? Man 1- Half a penguin! Man 2 became seriously disturbed from this joke, as he saw the movie Happy Feet two days ago. He went to intense therapy and became mentally deranged.

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what did the tree say when it fell down? Nothing it is humanly impossible for a tree to talk. Especially after it fell down. I mean that would hurt.

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Two penguins are sitting on an ice flow. One says to the other: "hey--you know, it looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other one says, "who says I'm not?"

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What's worse then failing a test. Being raped by a horse

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Whats black and white and musty? A nuns pussy because it never gets used.

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Two peanuts were walking down the road. One was assaulted because they were walking in Detroit.

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A black guy and a mexican guy are in a car, Who's driving. A policeman.

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How did the man drown the fish? He ate it.

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How do you cause ultimate pain to a imprisoned Jew during the holocaust? Moral: You give him an apple WITH a worm in it.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What did the Asian father say to his son when he got a b? Good job son!

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A squirrel runs into a bar and out-runs the bartender to get some assorted nuts on the table then runs out of the bar

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They are both purple except for the rabbit.

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Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

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Where can you find a Muslim with a boxcutter? At a UPS.

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Why did helen kellers dog committ suicide? You would to if you had massive clinical depression.

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how did the cat call 9-1-1? very carefully as cats do not have opposable thumbs, making the whole situation rare, and semi-improbable.

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Why couldn't the convicted felonist come back to America? He lost his passport.

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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What does greg and Ian have in common?

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what do you call a woman that didnt make you a sandwich? An ambulance

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate black people, and mexicans too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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