what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

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What do a fish, a can of asparagus, a spool of thread, and a car tire have in common? Nothing.

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? -A haircut

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A guy has spikey things in his butt, what happened?............... He fell on a cactus.

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Why don't women need watches? Because most people carry cell phones that tells them the time making watches redundant and obsolete.

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Why couldn't the black man sleep at night? His eye lids were cut off

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Why did the woman start crying? She didn't have woman's rights... That's right, get back in the kitchen

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Two arabs fly into a bar in the twin towers

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how did little johnny die? i killed him

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What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

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Roses are red Violets are blue These two lines are overused I wonder to what poem they originally come from

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Lol XD,now that is bad ass of you to say that, what about her, does she get to go around too?

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An octopus walks into a bar. The people in the bar, realizing the potential of danger, stand up and leave the bar quietly.

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What do you call someone with no legs nor arms? Mat

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Black people are black, And you're a douche.

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Why did the cheeseburger have seeds on its buns? Because it wasn't a taco.

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A student asks a teacher: Sir, how much time would it take for me to do this quiz. Teacher says: From the second I give you this test to the second you hand it back to me.

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TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

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How many fingers do most people have? 10

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I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

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What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

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i just want thumbs up so i feel better about myself.....

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What looks like a lion, sounds like a lion, and feels like a lion? A lion Ba dum chh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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