What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance.

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How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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what is red and lies in all four corners of the room? a baby that was playing with a chainsaw.

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Hey, dude, wanna hear a joke? Sure... Pussy. ...I dont get it... Exactly! HAHAHAHAHAHA

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Q: How do you make an mail man cry? A: Take his car and run over his family.

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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What's better than a $75 000 salary? 80 000 sticks of celery.

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joe diragi whacks off his dog

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What's love like? Some people say it's like a lotus flower, others say it's like an orchid... Personally I'd like to say it's like a fire at the bottom of you're soul-- like when people sin and go to hell... that fire burns forever???

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Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

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How many girls does ittake to screw in a lightbulb? Doesnt matter as long as dinner is on the table by 6:00

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How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

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a mother cow walks up to her three child cows. the first cow asks: "mom, why am i named rose?" the mother responds with: "because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head." the second cow asks: "what about me, mom?" the mother says: "when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." the third cow says: "AAAAOOOOOOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAOAO!" the mother screams: "SHUT UP REFRIDGERATOR."

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why did the black guy talk to the monkey? they were in the same cage.

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Jaden McMichael

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What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Alzheimer's ... Roses are Red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's (continues)

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why are the inside of a black mans hand white? cotton residue

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What do you say to a womam with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

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Why don't women like to have penises? Evidently women have different tastes than men in what body parts they enjoy having.

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Rock a by baby, In a tree top When the wind blows The cradle will rock, When the bough breaks The cradle will fall And down will come baby Dying on impact.

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Why is your face? Because.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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