Knock knock Who's there? You're adopted.

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What do you do if a bird shuts on your windscreen? A:never take her out again.

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Why can't Amy Winehouse sing? She's dead.

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why did aodhan not play BO2? Aodhan has Cerebral palsy.

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Hey, how much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to drown as a result of climate change.

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What's a bit smaller than the tallest man in the world? The 2nd tallest man in the world.

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what happened after 9/11?? 9/12.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's dad owned a shot gun.

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why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they were both killed in a building collapse.

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What's fourteen inches long and purple and can make a woman scream all night? crib death

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People tell me im insane. Its all a conspiracy.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A katon.

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Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

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Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

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a 5 year old rapes a pedophile

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What did the little girls who's parents died in a car accident get for her birthday? Foster Parents

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What did the sea say to the sand? Nothing, he just waved.

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why cant blondes water ski.......... because whenever they split their legs they feel somthing wet

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There once was the worlds most important people on an airplane. All of them. They were a Boy Scout with a hiking pack, World's Oldest person, World's Smartest person, a Scientist who had the cure to cancer, and the World's Richest man. The Pilot told them that the plane was running out of gas and they would have to bail. But there was a problem, two people were going to have to die. They were only two parachutes short. So the Scientist grabbed one and said, "I'm the only one with the cure to cancer I've got lives to save." And he bails. Then the World's oldest person jumps out with a parachute saying, "I Still Have A Life To Live!!!" Then the Richest person realizes there is two parachutes left. He says, "I have the most money so I have to go because I could save America from going bankrupt." Grabs a chute and jumps. Then, the world's smartest person just happens to be so selfish and bails with the last Parachute. So the Pilot and and the Boy Scout were left. The pilot was kind enough to let the Kid go because he still had he longest life to live. But the kid said no, we could both go. The pilot said no you go. The kid was still being stubborn. And said No, we could both go, The world's smartest person took my back pack, there is one chute left, we could share it. And so they both jumped and landed safely on the ground. And that was the end of the World's smartest man.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit it in the face with an axe

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Women's Rights...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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