roses are red violets are puffy i am a donkey i ate some water

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If frogs weren't alive, there wouldn't be any frogs left on earth.

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One day there was a princess born in the jungle. The story goes, that she'd be saved by a grand champion - a Hero. So the day came that she fell in love. After a few magical years, they broke up and she realized that fairy tales are for little girls.

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How do u kill a mocking bird? Stab it

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Why did the most interesting man in the world refuse to eat his buttered toast? It just so happens that the cook accidentally used stale bread, causing it to taste unsatisfactory.

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Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack, due to her poor eating habits.

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what do you get when you cross a turkey with a goat? nothing you can't cross to genetically different spieces stupid

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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Feet

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Why did the girl fall off her bike? she got a fridge thrown at her

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Chuck Norris died.

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Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

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Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

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have you seen ray charles' house? neither has he.

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Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

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The new pickup line. The human body has 206 bones in it. I have broken one of them, please take me to a hospital.

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How do you kill a blonde? You stab her many times in the ear with a fork......Then finsih her off with a spoon. No knives those hurts

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Yo Mama is like a gas station:pump and pay.

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Why was the giant scorpion sad? Because the Holocaust killed his entire family.

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What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

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The once was a man from Nantucket, Who gave up on his life and said "damn this!" Then he won lots of money, His future looked bright and sunshiny Until one day he suddenly died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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