why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do your mum and dad have in common Not much your dads dead

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call Jake Morter? Jake Morter

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say orange? Well, you shouldn't be. I came to inform you your entire family died in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did the painter cry? he didnt have any paint left...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually 6 wasn't afraid of 7 because numbers have are not living things, therefore have no consciousness or emotions, meaning that numerical digits can not have a fear or be afraid of another number.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Knock Knock Knock" "Knock knock Knock who?" "Just let me in, you twat, it's freezing out here!"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the black woman poor? Well, she grew up in a wealthy family, but both of her parents died. Her new parents were not very supportive and she began to not care about school. She did not go to college because of this and was not able to get a job. Therefore, she had no money.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do Michael Jackson and a T-Rex have in common? They're both dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

The other day a man came to my door. After I opened it, he told me, "I'm sorry, your mother is dead." He paused, then said, "Just kidding." "Actually," I told him, "my mom died two years ago of natural causes." He turned around and left, and I closed the door. All in all, it was a very confusing situation, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the retarded guy say to the other retarded guy? Youre Retarded

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Rose: Mom, why was I named Rose? Mom: Because when you were born a rose petal landed on your head. Rose: Than why is my brother named Brick? Mom: I liked the name.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? a new bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the blind man get hit by a bus? Because his seeing-eye dog was distracted by a squirrel and ran off, leaving the man in the middle of the cross-walk in heavy traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

outside your comfort zone

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A hobo said to another hobo "Im homeless"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

so the weather's nice...

thumb_up thumb_down -24

a 12 year eld Maxican girl is aksed to spell the werd newmonia she gets it rite and wins the spalling beef which makes me sad bcuz English is my forst langage and i still dont get it and im 25

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops