What's fat and round and has a ballsack nose? Mr Chicken

What did one lawyer say to the other? Hello

Roses are gray, violets are gray, everything's gray, bitch im a dog.

Roses are gay, Violets are gay, I f*cked your mom You have aids.

Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

A man is at the doctor's office and the doctor says to the man: "I'm sorry sir, you have AIDS and Alzheimer's disease." The man says: "Well, at least I don't have AIDS!"

what do you get when you cross an African with a Rhinoceros? A rhinoceros.

Q; Why did the gas station attendant scream when 3 black men walked into his store? A: It was his surprise birthday party.

OHIO DRIVERS.......THAT IS ALL......

what's the best way to eat a dead baby? stewed into chili with jalepeno cheddar corn bread on the side

Reminds me of when I was a teen, I was working at an elderly home, and there was this really really old woman, and she was leaning forward towards me on her wheelchair, one of her hands accidentally near my crotch, I mean this granny was really senile and shit. Then she went all like, you really like it when I touch you there don't you? I mean it was not the best nor the fastest one, but all that excitement "OMG WHAT IF I GET CAUGHT BY A COLLEAGUE WHILE A 89 YEAR OLD WAS JACKING ME OFF!" Really made it all special folks... Especially when I got caught, it was like OMG STRESS ORGASM HOLY DONT CUM NOOOAAAARGHHHH!!!!!! WOHOOOOOO! I walked outta there like a champ, I was like 18 and my girlfriend/colleague which caught me was like, 27, and the next week she was 32, and before you know it, she was 46 on facebook... Thats like you know... Too old or something...

What do you call a Mentally Challenged Black Man? Whatever Name his parent(s) Gave him at birth.

That awkward moment when Amish mingle has a member

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a soda. The bartender says, "We don't serve soda." The guy then says, "oh", and walks out.

How do you get a clown off of a swing? Hit him with an axe

Why couldn't Billy drive? He had no arms. Why did he have no arms? Thalidomide.

What did Batman say to Robin before he got into the car? "Robin, get in the car."

Roses are Blue, Europe is Yellow. I suck at poems, Refridgerator

Why did the dog kill the fish? He had no reason, he just wanted fish. What, you thought he had like, a vendetta? pssh your crazy

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side.

What is worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? Being eaten by a giant octopus. What's worse than being eaten by a giant octopus? 3 Bee Stings!

Your mother is so stupid, she is unable to uphold a steady job and cannot support you financially.

Paige

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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