Why did Doris fall down the stairs? Because she was a stupid, uncoordinated old hag with no control over her bladder.

How do you kill a hobo? Throw a penny off a clif.. How do you kill another hobo? Tell him the penny's still down there

B: Laro tayo . G: Anong laro ? B: Taguan . G: Bakit ngayon pa ? B: Because tonight will be the night that i will fall for you . G: Ulet ? B: Over again . G: Wag na ! B: Don't make me change my mind . G: Bukas na lang . B: I won't live to see another day . G: Weh ? Di nga ? B: I swear its true . G: Bakit kasi taguan pa ? B: Because a girl like you is impossible to find . G: Ano ? B: You're impossible to find . ? :)

Knock Knock? Who's There? The Gestapo.

Q: whats worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trashcan? A: 1 dead baby in 10 trashcans

What separates man from animal? Divorce.

Two men walk into a bar The first man says to the bartender: 'Can I have a glass of H2O?' The second man says: 'Can I have a glass of H2O too?' The Bartender gives them both glasses of water because he is not irresponsible to serve hydrogen peroxide in his bar.

Time flies an arrow. Fruit flies like banana.

What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

wat?

Roses are red. Violets are violet. Violet is a color already.

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Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

"Whats your favorite number?" "9." "Is it because thats your jersey number." "Thats my jersey number?"

Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. What? You are about to die and be eaten. Asshole! i will murder you first!

A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar. It's also a bistro, and they have a lovely lunch together.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

why did the bird fall out of the sky? it had been shot by a bird hunter, as it was bird season.

A black man breaks into a car, he doesn't steal anything because that would a violation of the car owner's privacy.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

Knock knock Nobody's home.

What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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