A man walks into a store, and says to the cashier: "I'd like to buy 6 fridges". The cashier says: "Why do you need that many fridges?" The man says: "I'm an antelope!"

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How old are you like 10? Im 11 so shut the fuck up

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Whats the most impotent thing to remember when your going skateboarding? A skateboard.

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Why did 16-year-old girl scream in the basement? She was being raped.

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Why did the Iraqi cross the road? Because he was hired by the CIA as an undercover operative to lead them to a highly dangerous target in the small town of Aziziyah and was leaving the area to avoid the impending Pavelow strike on the town center.

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Why did the kid drop his lollipop? He got hit by a bus.

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What do you get when you cross an African, a white person, an Asian and a Spaniard? Society's worst nightmare

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last night i was doing some guy in the ass. i went to give him a reach around and the homo had a boner! freakin queer.

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Friends are a lot like trees, they fall down when hit multiple times with an axe.

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Knock Knock Come in.

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Q: why did timmy fall over? A: he was hit by a plane

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roses are red violets are blue i am bipolar so am i

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Why did the chicken eat fried chicken? Because fried chicken is so good! Kelvin Yang.

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Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has an abusive farmer and needs to get away before it gets any worse.

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What do you call a black pilot? A PILOT

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In an alternate universe, Jake Sulley's brother did not die. The human race proceeded to strip-mine Pandora of all its mineral wealth, and slaughtered the entire indigenous population.

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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George Washington delivered a short speech to his troops before they crossed the delaware river. Here it is: "Get in the boat."

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Dave. Dave, who? Dave, your neighbor, I ran out of eggs making a quiche, could I borrow a few?

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A man walks into a bar. Because he's had a rough day, he asks the barender for a drink. Then another... Then another... (continued) The man walks out of the bar and goes to his car. He starts to drive back to his house. He wobbly makes turns and closes his eyes every 5 seconds or so. He also talks to his boss on his phone for the majority of the ride. Surprisingly enough, he makes it home safely and doesn't harm anyone else despite the large amount he had to drink. He stumbles into his apartment and goes up to his room. He slumps down onto his bed on his back very heavily, causing the room to shake a bit. He opens his eyes, only to find his glass shandelier falling from directly above his face. His body was found by his girlfriend the next morning. I guess there's no real moral to the story then... Maybe it's: You can drink and drive, but don't put a shandelier directly above your bed... I guess? Wow. What are the odds?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops