anti-joke.ru - russian style

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Q. What is the fastest animal in the world? A. An Ethiopian chicken.

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roses are red, violets are blue, apparently you are blind or else I wouldn't be telling this to you.

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doctor,doctor my eyesight is getting worse, you are certainly right, this is the post office

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How do u get a clown off of a swing? You hit him with an axe.

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Yo mama's so fat when they asked her if she wanted fries with that she said yes

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How many blind men does it take to change a light bulb? None. They are blind and do not care if it is light or dark in their surroundings.

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whats annoying and won't go away?. Aids.

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A man walks up to a horse and asks, "why the long face?" The horse stares back at him, blankly. The man then sits and ponders his life, sad that he now tries to communicate with horses and realizes that his eccentricity is probably the reason his marriage failed.

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Student: May i go to the toilet? Teacher: What for? Student: To open the chamber of secrets!

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Tyrone is innocent! I can't wait until Kirsty gets hers!

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If you're head weren't attached to your shoulders... you'd be dead.

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What is a ghost's favorite dessert? Nothing. Ghosts do not exist, thus they cannot eat dessert.

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What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

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Let them think that you are insane, vulnerable, and they wont bother leaking a lot of shit about you, this "shit info" will remain inaccurate and reveal weaknesses where there is none. I had to draw them away from you, but as soon as he began selling Intel regarding my missing eye, I figure our "not so friends in the unknown" would have eventually begun searching for "The one eyed man" among you. And had they not found one, they might just as likely made it seem as if there was one for the money. None of the thugs sent to attack me nor the "Nero decoys" where professionals, but those behind them sure are, considering that they paid these thugs more than what I make during a year. Gotta go pretty girl, hope we meet again in not so long. Moral: This is all a joke, get over it, Moral has left forever, mission complete.

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What's the deal with airplane food? I've never tried it. I'm just curious how it was.

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Two english guys meet at work

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What is the most common cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

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I enjoy Popcorn

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What's red and spins real fast? Not a dead baby in a blender, babies can't fit in there. Unless of course you dismember them. but that's obsurd. . . Kinda

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why was the hobo sad his box was confiscated

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Why was the hamster not on his wheel? Because he had a stroke.

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Why do the piglets have their heads down low? Because they are ashamed that their mom is fat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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