how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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How many blondes does it take to walk into a bar? One I guess. I don't know if I understand the question.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Person A: Knock Knock Person B: Who's there? Person A: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest. Open the door. Person B: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest, open the door wh-- Suddenly the door is smashed open. Tear gas grenades are rolled in, temporarily blinding Person B. He is then dragged out of his apartment by nine federal agents who proceed to beat him and throw him into the back of an FBI van.

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How many Chinese men people does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Anyone can screw in a light bulb, regardless of race or gender.

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Why did Juan cross the border into America? To provide a better opportunity for him and his family.

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Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

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A priest a rabbi and an iman are stuck in the desert. After walking for days without rescue or civilisation in sight, and rapidly running out of food and water, they decide to each pray to their respective gods for rescue, and in doing so solve the ultimate question of which religion is the true religion. They all die.

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whats worse than 9/11 a paper cut

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What did lady gaga call her grandpa? papaw razi. even wrote a song about him.

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I used to get on Facebook, then someone asked me to save a child in Africa by liking a picture of Jesus or ignore it and go to hell

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A jewish boy walks past a quarter on the ground..

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There was this fruit joke, but it had no punchline.

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What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

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if you consider his name parents name social security number hospital born date born and nurses signature all on a peice of paper then i guess you consider that his birth certificate

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Why was Bootylatrice tardy for school? -She overslept.

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how do you confuse a blond?

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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Q. Why did the rooster switch on the TV? A. Just for some hentertainment!

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Q: whats the difference between 3 asain people 3 black people and 3 mexican prople?? A: there all different nationality

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Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Someone asks for his autograph to which he replies. "Sure"

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What's the difference between a cow and a purple sweater? They're both purple Besides the cow

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Needless to say,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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