Spongebob: Patrick! Can you hear me? Patrick: No, it's too dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats worse than getting bit by a tick. getting bit by a deer tick that as lyme disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Your mom is so fat, that when she went to the doctor, the doctor told her she had Type II Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Women can vote? wtf

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What's worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust What's worse than the holocaust? Two worms in you apple what worse than 2 worms in your apple? Two holocausts

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob What do you call that same kid when he's at your doorstep? Matt What do you call that same kid when he's hanging in your room? I don't know, but you should stop calling him names.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If you don't get this joke, you're gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What has four legs one head but only one foot? A dog that was born with physical deformities.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Roses are red Violets are blue Refrigerators are whitWhen falling from trees, they kill you

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why do people where saggy pants that don't fit? They can't afford too buy new

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Wanna hear an inside joke? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are Brown Violets are Brown I hate everyone on antijoke that steals what I write I fisted a cows butt hole.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What does a man and an orange have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Cole is "good" at soccer

thumb_up thumb_down +25

how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you call your cousin drew? drouchebag

thumb_up thumb_down -1

As friend of mine recently told me that he knew my deepest darkest secret. When I asked him what it was, he said that I was too emotionally unstable, and that I would never be ready to settle down. I killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Matt swam through watter. Gaby drowned on dry land.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did the mexican cross the road? to get to the lawn mowing shop becuase his wife has breast cancer, and he cant pay the bills sitting on his butt and getting a check from the government every month

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the gay man buy a prius? because it is a very fuel efficient car and will save him a lot of money of gas

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops