Roses are red, Violets are blue I'm Schizophrenic and so am I

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Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

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your mom is so fat that she should probably try a deit in the neer future.

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Why did the scarecrow get promoted? He was outstanding in his field

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Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

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What's one plus one? two.

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Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

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what's worse than one scoop of ice crea falling on the floor? - the holocaust what's worse than two scoops of ice cream falling on the floor? - nothing

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What do you call a boy with one eye and no arms. -Mean names.

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a gay couple walks into a bar and get a drink

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I am white, you are black, we can be friends, racism was abolished.

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why do people put their pants on in the morning? because their not nudists.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who understand binaryy and those who dont.

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why was the woman making a sandwich in the kitchen? because at the age of 3 she faced the hard reality of being nothing more in life then serving her husband to the day she die

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Why did the man cross the road He didn't, he died after being hit by a car

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if you have 2 apples and 3 oranges in one hand, and 4 oranges and 1 apple in the other, what do you have? very large hands.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller read? Tree sap.

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How many turrets patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? Cocksucker!!

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Q: What does 'A' stand for? A: Effort

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile. get in the batmobile.

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what do you call obama a dumbass

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What happened when Dave tried to break the record for most marshmallows in the mouth at once? He choked and died.

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Two fish were lying on a bank. One said "I can't breath." The other one was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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