Want to know who gets head a lot? Balloons

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Why couldnt the man stop dancing? He had Parkinson's.

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You know what's annoying When you suddenly die of a heart attack

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How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? None. Babies shouldn't be changing light bulbs.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KGB Yes, How can I help? We are looking for a local serbian mobster who we believe to be hiding in this Village have you seen this man. No I cant say I have. Sorry Well thank you for your time and if you notice anything please try and let the local Police know.

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Yo mama so fat! Really she should get on an exercise program and watch her diet, as she is at higher risk for diabetes and other health issues

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"Whats your favorite number?" "9." "Is it because thats your jersey number." "Thats my jersey number?"

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

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Water? I hardly know her.

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Like this joke, bitch.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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How can you kill a blonde? Hack her to bits.

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Why was the man attracted to other men? Because he was gay, and that is typically what happens when people are attracted to members of the same sex, and it is as natural as a man being attracted to women.

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What do you call your mom after she brings a guy home from a bar? A very caring woman because she doesn't want him driving drunk.

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whts worse than finding a worm in your apple? butt sex with the devil

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a swing set? No? Well neither did she.

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what do you call and man that has a twitch every time someone say tissue broken arm, leg, hand, collar bone and there iphone? A mentally and physically demented man that needs serious help from a psychotherapist otherwise matter would get increasingly worse

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I viewed the terms of service and did not agree to them.

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what's worse than the holocaust living jews

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What's brown and sticky? 'Brown' is a colour, and 'sticky' is a consistency. Please try and use correct grammar.

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WEED!

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hello

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verry nice how mUCH?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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