There was a girl who had a dream of becoming a famous movie star. So, after five years of hard work and dedication, she didn't become a famous movie star. Dreams don't always come true. Refrigerators keep things cold.

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Printing billions of counterfeit dollars...in ones.

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What is sad about four lawyers in a car driving of a cliff? The car fit six people.

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The grass is always greener on the give me a blowjob.

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Friends are like trees. If you hit them with an axe enough times, they'll fall over.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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how many drunk drivers does it take to drive home one and only one, if more than one drunk driver tried to drive home at the same time in the same car they would surely crash and not make it home.

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yo mamma's so stupid, she is not that smart.

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Q: What dosent a Jew and a pizza have in commen? A: The pizza dosent scream when you put it in the oven.

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Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

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A quadriplegic walked into a bar, and... oh, whoops, nevermind.

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Andrew: who's better at football, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady? Thomas: ur mom

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what's big fat and hairy yo mamma

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being raped by a giant scorpion

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What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

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Tic tac toe. You were adopted.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Go up to her and say, "The bookbag coffeepotted the ice cream wedding! Is it gosling for you to rectify this pane of glass and oceans? I won't be able to berry a giant squid before the cows arrive."

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He had cancer.

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How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Why does Santa Claus drink so much hot Cocoa? Because Mrs. Claus got tired of his constant drunkenness and won't allow beer in the house in the house anymore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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