I typed in in a Anti-joke and realized it was kind of hard.

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A man walks into a bar with a sad-looking face. He orders a strong drink. The bartender asks him "What's wrong? You seem down." The man answers "Well, tough week. My wife was raped and murdered and my son was hit by a bus."

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Q. How many Jews can you fit in a car? A. Four, I drive a Volkswagen Jetta

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. One polar says to the other, "Pass the soap please." And the other polar bear says, "No soap, radio!"

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights.

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Q: When do u know when your sister is on her period? A: Your dads dick tastes funny.

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Q. What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A. A gay bar

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Why are asians such bad drivers? Cause they constantly have their eyes closed.

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What's spotty, can be found everywhere and is largely unpopular? Nothing.

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Your mom is so ugly she plans on using you college funds for getting plastic surgery

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whats blue and fuzzy?.... blue fuzz

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What do you call an office worker with no arms or legs? A paraplegic.

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What do you call 100 black people at the bottom of the ocean? An unfortunate tragedy and astonishingly ironic curcumstance.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Did you see my sandwitch? No. I am your sandwitch, and therefore no one thought to put me up to a mirror. Would you like me to? No. I have no eyes. And why are you talking to a sandwitch??? ...

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Why is Osama dead? He got shot.

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Knock Knock Who's there Nobody is here. This is just a feeble attempt of your subconsious to convince yourself you have someone who cares about you in the least bit to mask the horrible wretched pain of loneliness and suffering that is the enternal damnation of your life.

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What do you call a chicken with three eyes? One that flew over the cuckoo's nest.

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What did the turtle say to the hare? Nothing. Animals can't speak.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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what do jews, blacks, and asians have in common? they have all been targets of racism!

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What did Edward Cullen say to the hot girl? Since I am a vampire it is impossible for me to get an erection.

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Where did the Welsh man work? At an office complex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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