Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

memes

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the woman not make her husband a sandwich? Because he died in 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man walks into a bar. The other two ducked, and then immediately called an ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What's the best part of having sex with twenty-eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q: Where's the cheese? Who ate the cheese? A: How do you know it's been eaten because it's gone? Are you making the assumption that food that has disappeared was eaten because that is usually how food disappears? I am filing a lawsuit against you for your malevolent foodism.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a pole and says "I know, this pun is lame"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

. Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Q: What happens when two planes both crush a tower in New York City? A: Bad news.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock Knock! "Use the friggin' doorbell!"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Gadaffi

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did Tupac Shakur get shot? He was a famous and very controversial celebrity, which naturally led to having a lot of enemies.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the turkey cross the road? His friend, the chicken, had just been hit by a passing car.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats black and hangs from the my tree? A tire swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't the boy hide his penis? Circumcision.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between Timmy and a car? Timmy can be brutally murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: How many black guys does it take to black top a driveway? A: I can't give you a definitive answer unless I know the area to be covered, the thickness of material to be applied, and the capabilities of each individual working that particular day.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Person 1: Ask me if I'm a truck? Person 2: Are you a truck? Person 1: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops