What rhymes with car? Not kangaroo

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What word does almost everyone spell wrong? Wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did peter fall off his bike? Because Peter is a goldfish.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Jimmy is a goldfish

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Knock knock Who's there. Interrupting cow, sorry you can see where this is going, just let me in without asking any more questions please.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why did the chicken cross the road? cause' he was annoyed with all the stereotypcial idiots who insist he crosses the road for comical value

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats worse than hard cheese?Cheese DUH

thumb_up thumb_down -7

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the blonde get a good occupation? Because she had a great education in a private school.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why was the baby crying? Because it was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why are black people so ghetto? because they live in the ghetto

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Did you hear that the actress, Reese what's-her-name, got stabbed to death? Witherspoon? No, with a knife.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Beacuse she has no arms or legs. Knock knock. Who's There? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: What did the nomad get for christmas? A: Most likely nothing because he lives in the middle of nowhere where no stores exist. If anything, he got a sandstorm.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Husband: Take the f out of way. Wife: There's no f in way! Husband: You just swore

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A blonde walks into a bar a uses the restroom. She needed to pee.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin says, "Boy it's hot in here." The second says, "It sure is." Both muffins then faint from heat exhaustion and are eaten to death when taken out of the oven And thus tragically, the world would never know of the spectacular talking muffins.

thumb_up thumb_down

Once there was a frog. My parents died.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats Green and has wheels? Grass, I was kidding about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted better pay.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into a doctors and says 'Doctor, Doctor, I have a bad stomach ache' Upon hearing this, the doctor writes the man a prescription for medication and wishes him a swift recovery.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did Little Suzy get hit by a truck? Well the real question is, "Why was Little Suzy in the road," so why was she? Because she felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops