The skeleton walks into a bar. Everyone is confused and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

doctor doctor i have been having a sore head recently . doctor : have you hurt your head yes

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Did you hear the Joke about the Deaf kid? Neither did he.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? So nobody finds he's been fucking hens.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the bakery run out of the business? They weren't making enough dough

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the chick cross the road? Because she's a gold digger homie, dat chick is greedy like a mofo. She be all up in your grill and sheit tryin' getchu to spend your money lik dat homie ditch dat hoe, she aint even worth it brotha.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

So a seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the clinically depressed man get for Christmas? He received many of splendid gifts and a joyous day with his family. He realized that his life isn't so bad after all, and went home with his head held high. He was then eaten by a vicious looking 7.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why didn't the man have a vagina? Trick Question. Everybody has a vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

So a moose, a deer, and a horse walk into a bar. One of the people at the bar was a hunter who was carrying his gun. Several people got up and left after they realized the potential danger of the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how does an Arab scare someone He does a countdown

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What does a snowplow clearing an empty parking lot look like? A horse running freely in a pasture

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats the best thing about life? whatever the best thing about life happens to be!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

thumb_up thumb_down -27

69

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A dog goes into a bar. He is wearing an eye patch. The dog says to the bartender, "Have you heard the one about the one-eyed dog?" The bartender, who is deaf in one ear, thinks the dog is making fun of him. He asks him to leave. The dog says, "Don't you have a sense of humor, deafie?" At the end of his shift, the bartender is tired of all the jokes. Today it's a one-eyed dog. Yesterday it was a horse with rickets. The day before: ants. He lives above the bar, in a small room. He spends the night alone there, listing to his battery operated radio, which picks up only a bad jazz station. He listens to bad jazz with his bad ear.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Homosexual babies? It's a choice

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Roses are Red. Violets are blue. I took a shit on your wife's face last night.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's a boulder's favorite type of music? Boulders don't have ears.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than finding a Holocaust in your apple? The worm

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Found out my dad was gay the other day. Now I have to take him to dance clubs, take him to musicals and find the man who gave birth to me.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops