What do you do when life hands you lemons? Such a statement assumes that life is an actual person, which is impossible. Thus, you do not need to concern yourself with what you must do when life hands you lemons.

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You're at a funeral & your phone goes off and the ringtone is dead and gone

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What did the man say to his wife right before they got married? "I do."

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why did the cow say baaaaa ? it was a stupid cow

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what did the cashier do when a Mexican robbed the store? call the police

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What is big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree A pool table

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

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A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back distinctly better at the Trumpet.

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Why did the man have a hole in his head? He was shot.

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Someone stopped playing Skyrim.

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You're mother is so retarded that I probably shouldn't be making fun of her because it would be considered discriminatory.

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Why couldn't the mexican get a job? He was seven.

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Little Davie was a kid with no arms and legs and one day his friends Came to his house and knocked on the door and asked for little Davie And asked if he wanted to come play baseball..Little Davie replied "I'd Love to but I have no arms or legs" his friends say we know that..We were Just needing a second base..

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. It was hanging on a clothes line he didn't see.

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What's the difference between a rhino and a house cat? They look way different.

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Who told the gorilla he couldn't go to the ballet? The people who were in charge of making that decision.

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Read in a Jersey accent: SOOOOOO my friend __________ saw this coffee shop in new jersey! He was like.... i love coffee why dont they give it to me for free???? The man at the coffee shop Killed me! that is why coffee is not free!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

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A black guy, a Jew, and a Mexican jump out of a plane. Who dies first? Well, judging by the fact that black people in general have a higher body mass, the black man most likely would smash into the ground first.

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What's the worst part about male roller blading? AIDS.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KGB Yes, How can I help? We are looking for a local serbian mobster who we believe to be hiding in this Village have you seen this man. No I cant say I have. Sorry Well thank you for your time and if you notice anything please try and let the local Police know.

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yo momma is so fat she ate the rest of the joke

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Women's rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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