"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Will farrow now gimme your hentai"

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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Q. Why can’t a teacher lift weights? A. Because, most teachers are women and most women do not enjoy It.

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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what's magenta and has 7 legs? nothing.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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Relax, it simply would not be working out for you if your mother was nearby, you see, the subconcious is limited by the concious mind, so if your subconcious can detect your mother (or anyone but me nearby) your conscious mind goes "uh oh" and it stops. Oh, right, and considering you can still type, how about we increase the effect into... I dunno, six billion? Yeah six billion. Anyway, the next time you want to experience it, just poke your nose, and since we do not want you to poke your nose off, you only do it once and you can yourself decide when it ends, at this level you should not be able to type, but if you want to type you can of course turn it off.

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France never surrender.

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HALF LIFE 4 COMING OUT SOON!

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Why was the woman happy to give birth to a beautiful, healthy child? Just kidding, she had an abortion.

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A fat guy runs a marathon. He dies of obesity and dehydration.

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(To the tune of Perry the Platypus) He's a completely retarded Allosaurus of action! A purple dopey dimwit who always giggles away! He never does anything But children's songs he does sing And the little kids squeal whenever they hear him say... *i love you, you love me* He's Barney! Barney the Dinosaur!

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What did george washington say before he and his troops crossed the delaware river? We are going to cross the delaware river. R...

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Yo mama got so bad teeth her dentist said she should get them surgicly removed and get lifelike dentures

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why do women wear perfume and make-up? 'cause they're ugly and smell bad

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Where's my baby??

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What's funnier than a midget bungie jumping? Nothing

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knock, knock... no one replies and it becomes obvious that no one is in the house.

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You know what really grinds my gears? Shifting into "park" before my car's fully stopped.

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? There is no Santa Claus.

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Not really a anti joke: Superman is flying over town when he suddenly spots a completely naked Spiderwoman moaning and all sweaty while rubbing her her legs, This gets Superman really h0rny but does not want to get caught, so he flies down and bangs away so fast nobody notices a thing a thing and leaves. Spiderwoman: Hey honey whats wrong? Please come lie on top of me again! Invisible Man: AAAAAAARGH!!! IT FEELS LIKE I HAVE A DAMN BOWLING BALL UP MY ASS HOLE!!!

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What's not red? No tomatoes.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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