What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? About 3:26 PM Eastern Standard Time.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the hispanic buy a pepsi? Because he was thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Ubisoft presents a game by ubisoft

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the penguin say to the tiger? I'm in the wrong country.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the chicken fall off the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

,try this on a girl, say "can I pop your cherry.........soda bottle cap off your cherry soda bottle?"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the room go dark? Somebody turned the lights off

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Where did the little girl go after the explosion? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Thats sweet, thank you then.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

An oriental man starts a new job. He is told to go to the Supply cupboard and bring back some stationery.He is gone far too long so his boss sends another man to see what is going on. The oriental man had a fatal stroke in the supply cupboard and was unfortunately dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How did the gay guy greet the other gay guy? Nice to meet you.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q. How do you kill a dumb blonde? A. Shoot her.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A:Because it wa dead!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Knock Knock! Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

69, hahaha

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your at your local street corner and find a woman, the fact that she has balls dose not stop you from inviting her into your car.

thumb_up thumb_down

Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +149

How do you know when a guy wants to have sex with you? When he rapes you

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What happened to the prisoner who dropped the soap while in the shower with other men? Another prisoner picked up and gave it to him and finished showering and felt squeaky clean.

thumb_up thumb_down +113

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is an American professional golfer whose achievements to date rank him among the most successful golfers of all time and Santa Claus is a very jolly fellow who brings gifts to the homes of the good children during the late evening and overnight hours of Christmas Eve.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A boy tells his friend a 9/11 joke. The boy's friend says "Don't joke about 9/11, my dad died in it." "I'm sorry I didn't know.", responds the boy. "Yeah, that's the last plane he ever flew"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops