A husband and wife just had a baby, and he came out black.

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Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

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whats short blonde and speaks spanish? my spanish teacher Mrs. Inman

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What do you get when you cross an l with a line? A t.

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Why was Hellen Kellers leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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What did the pineapple say to the apple? Nothing, neither can speak.

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when im sad im feel horny i rape little children -jimmy saville , last words of the diary

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Costello: Who's on first Joe Girardi: Mark Teixeira

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want to hear a joke? so a guy comes into a bar, wait no it was a horse so a guy comes into a horse,,,

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Oh hey is your dad good at golf? No, he's not really good at anything except lying.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm random but can still rhyme Hatsune Miku

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Why aren't anti jokes funny? Idk. Watermelon in your pants, you're adopted.

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"Bitches are fake, talk shit get hit!". False, female dogs cannot speak in the tongues of humans, and if they could I am sure excrement would not come from their mouths.

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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How did the jew win a marathon? Through hard vigorous training by running everyday and eating healthy.

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What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

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A paraplegic walks into a bar.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police. Your father's been taken to county jail for his third DUI.

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Chuck Norris was once engaged by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Okay lord and master, now get lost, I am trough with you, I have other things to get done, XD My nose is so itchy XD

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Q. What do you tell a women with two black eyes? A. Stop pissing him off!

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what sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potato peeler

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Parents are very similar to trees. They fall over when hit repeatedly with an ax.

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Why did the bunny eat his food

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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