Listen Supervisor, this is Agent Clarke of the GOV and the WHO, I suggest you respond ASAP, I suggest you put set me in touch with either Lady, or Axel Knight right away, this is a matter of your personal security.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the elephant.

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What's fat and ginger? My dog.

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Get out of the way everybody, a group of elephants are tumbling down the mountain!

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what is yellow and cant swim? a bull doser what has 4 wheels and is green? grass, i lied about the wheels what is worse than finding a worm in ur apple? having cancer

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Why doesn't Batman exist? Because he was made up.

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today at school... I learned about all the core subject plus the additional electives.

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Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Jesse gets back at people who takes his job, by trying to get with their sloppy seconds.. Emphasize trying.

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A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican guy are stranded in the middle of a desert. After many days of not finding food, water, or shelter they contemplate cannibalism to survive, but can't decide who to eat. The mexican dies first for an unrelated reason

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Did you hear about the gay midget? He came out of the cupboard.

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A Dyslexic man went to a posh, bought a badnana, and put it no his neck, and lawked around twon.

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How many mathematicians does it take to count?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got mercifully trampled by a nearby 18 wheeler.

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What did Johnny do this wednesday? He went to school to be academically taught to get a high GPA of all the other children so he could go and pursuit his dream so he won't be left at home with a drunk wife and 6 kids with $190,000 in debt from the IRS

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What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

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What's green and stands in a corner? A naughty frog.

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1st black guy: get a job 2nd black guy: i have one 1st black guy: okay

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Q. What did Michael Jackson say to the banana? A. Nothing, he's dead.

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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whats green and lives in the water

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How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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