Your muffins smell good! Oh you is just nasty.

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock The person you are seeking is deaf and cannot hear the sound that is made when your knuckles come in contact with the door. Try calling next time..........

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How was Charles Manson able to get women to kill for him? Because he was charismatic and intelligent.

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Knock Knock Get off my property or I'll call the cops on you!- Napoleon Dynamite

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How do you stop a dog from digging up your garden? Every time it does so, shout at the dog so it knows it has misbehaved. Keep doing this and the dog will eventually understand the error of its ways.

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If life gives you lemons, you are probably suffering from hallucinations.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Buttercups are yellow Thats about it

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do you have a wife?

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What happens if you fell off a 600 foot cliff? You die.

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I do not like the fact that you are linked with the feds.

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What is fat and white? A polar bear with a glandular problem.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

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Jingle bells Batman smells WHERE IS SHE??!!?!?!?

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what do you call a girl who sells sex for money? sally

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roses are red, violets are blue, get on your knees ho, and stick to me like glue.

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Your mom is such a slut, she had unprotected sex at least once.

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There is a famous joke, "What's black and white and re(a)d all over? A newspaper!" However, this is not featured on this website. Why? Because this is anti-joke.com, not joke.com - you moron

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With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

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What's white, wet, and salty? Salt that has come in contact with a liquid in the recent past, seeing as the liquid has not evaporated completely from the combination of sodium and chloride yet.

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What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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Whats the difference between a Duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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Why'd the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

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Knock knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The interrupting doct... You have Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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