Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause your mom has cancer

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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Enough Red to share, RAWR! With me only though! But hey, do me a favor wear your glasses not your contact lenses. "That anime" do you watch anime? Or hentai or whatever?

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What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

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Write Your Own Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Enter the following: Which is bigger the moon or the elephant? Your Answer: The elephant [] I have read and agree to the Terms of Service ((((Submit)))) [1 error prohibited this post from being saved] ---There were problems with the following field -> Wrong answer

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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What's pink and shaped like a V? A pink V.

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Lol you are really adorable, is more like maybe we will ask you some time, but hey, if you are asking, I mean you are beautiful, insecure, easy to break... I am totally joking by the way, you are completely down to earth, you are sweet, you know what you want, etc etc, hey, and to know what you want in life you got to be confident. Wait a second... I "act" like a savage? Lawl, "streams of OceANUS catchphrase"

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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What happens when you bite the head off of two animal crackers and make them play leap frog? Nothing. Quit playing with your food.

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Q: What do you do when you find a black man bleeding from a bullet wound on your front porch? A: Call an ambulance! He may only have minutes to live before he bleeds to death! Hurry!

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every time I stay in the water too long my pp gets all shriverly sometimes can't find it omg that's so weird

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What happened to the man who sat outside in the sun too long? He died of skin cancer.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

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why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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How do you starve a celebrity? Tell them they're fat.

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How to do you kill a blonde? Various methods, most effective of which is firing squad

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Why was the man dress in a suit ? He had a job

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We know about the cocaine.

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Why did the white girl have a black friend? Because she was very welcome to different races and wanted to learn about her culture.

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What did the fisherman say to the other fisherman? Were both fishermen

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You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops