A guy went to a haunted house on Friday the thirteenth… it gave him a small fright and he continued on with his day

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What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple but the elephant is gray.

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Thomas Hobbes had a good life Actually he was born prematurely which caused his mother to die, and his alcohallic father left him at a young age to an abusive older brother sucks to suck Hobbes, at least you were smart

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if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 5 dollars he would have 10 dollars

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Yo mamma is so hairy that she had to shave

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A man attempts to rob a bank. The police are called and the robber is arrested for attempted robbery.

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What does it mean if you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars? You both have five dollars

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A man found a magic lamp. He rubbed it and a genie emerged from the lamp. The genie asked what his new master's wishes were. The man wished for asthma.

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How do you kill a polar bear? Global Warming.

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Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because the word originates from the term Pirata which means 'sea attacker' in Latin.

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What was the beauty pageant contestant with a bladder control problem told by the judges? You’re an 8.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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Q: Where was Moses when the lights went out. A: In the dark.

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How do you make a professional gamer cry? You burn his house down.

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"I have been threw the desert with a horse with no no name" wrong the horse, name was no name

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Why did the koala bear fall outta the tree? He died. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree?? He was stapled to the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree?? He had no arms. Why did the fourth koala fall out of the tree?? He thought it was a race to the bottom. Why did the fifth koala fall out of the tree?? Peer Pressure.

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Q:Why did the man rob the bank? A:He needed money.... duhhh -Ryan Vallee

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Whats the same about a Mole and an Eagle? They both live underground, I lied about the Eagle.

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why was the boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's always an Asian Better than you

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Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first polar bear says, "Pass the soap." The second polar bear replies, "No soap, radio." OMG YOU DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?! NOOB

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Why do women have boobs? In order to feed their infants

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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