Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

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A man walks into a bar and approaches a man "Ask me if I'm a tree." "Fine.Are you a tree?" "No."

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Vagina cream... end of story

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My life

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a man walks into a bar. ouch.

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How do you keep kids off your lawn? You molest them.

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Why did the man go to sleep at 9:30? Because his mom told him to

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Why didn't the lady answer the phone? She is deaf and mute.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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Why was the boy late for class? He was late because he got stabbed and left in the bathroom.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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In the movie Dark Skies, little white boys were haunted by a mysterious force. The answer is obvious, isn't it? They are being haunted by Michael Jackson's ghost.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Sally." "Go away, Sally. I told you I am not interested." Kevin slammed the door on his colleague, as Sally proceeded to find somebody else and move on with her life. Kevin later in life became a drug addict, and got thrown in jail. Sally got married and had four kids, and while she feels bad for Kevin, she is happy with her life.

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What do you call a man with no legs and arms hanging on your wall? Art

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What is black, white, and red, and can't turn around in a hallway? A nun with a spear through her head.

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Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

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What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? there were no more cars in the way

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Adolf Hitler.

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what would u di if u were having anal sex with a black guy and his dick was soooo bi that ir rippped ur asshole? staple it back together

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what did the rabbi say to the priest? jesus christ, your breath stinks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops