Roses are yellow Daisies are purple Tv drinks yes Why swing the door

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What is brown and sounds like a pickle? Poop

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Knock knock Who's there? A ghost A ghost who?

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chuck norris is meeeeean to pain.

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anti jokes r not funny, jk, thats a joke, i bet sum of u losers will like this cuz all of these jokes r horrible

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what did Charlie Sheen say after he won a game of chess? I just won a game of chess!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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why did jimmy fall of of the tractor? Because he is a potato

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In an apartment complex, a black family lived on the first floor, a mexican family lived on the second floor, and a white family lived on the third floor. Suddenly, at about noon on tuseday, a giant tornado came through town and took out the entire complex, destroying everything. Why did only the white familey survive the catastophy? Because both parents were at work and the kids were in school.

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Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and the Queen of England all jump out of a plane, which hits the ground first? Galileo's theory tells us that all objects fall at the same speed regardless of weight, so they all hit simultaneously.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Frances. Frances who? Frances Payne.

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What is the difference between the Xbox, PS3, and the Wii? The Wii is a complete waste of money.

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How does a black chick tell if she's pregnant? When she pulls the tampon out, all the cotton is already picked.

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Why did the tomato blush? A tomato's complexion is already red so it simply appears to be blushing

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Boy, do I love chicken strips. Sometimes, when I’m home alone, I’ll take some chicken strips fresh out of the oven and rub them in my scalp. It doesn’t do much for my hair health, but I like the way they feel running through my strands of hair. The flakey coating, smooth white meat, and warmth. Yum.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

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What happened when a boy threw a ball at the wall? It hit him in the face

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Whats worse then finding a winning lottery ticket? Probably Everything

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what did the doctor say to the guy with a bullet in his arm you have a bullet in your arm

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Orange. Don't be ridiculous. Oranges can't talk.

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what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill Exercise

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-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

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What did the fat lady order at McDonalds? Nothing because she forgot here wallet at home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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