So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

How do you make lady gaga angry? punch her in the face and throw her off a cliff

Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

What do an elephant and a grape have in common? Well, depending on your ideological views they are either both God's creations or two examples of species which have evolved over time. That is all.

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

-How old are you, Dick? -I'm 30 centimeters old

What did Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobile? -Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile!

Why can't a black guy be the King of England? He's not in line for it.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

So a guy with ADD walks into a... Hey Look! A Chicken!

what do you call a white guy on a bus load of blacks guys? probably his name...

A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

What do you get when you kill a black man? The death penalty.

Why did Billy start a fire? Because he was cold.

Q: What happened when Timmy divided by zero? A: He got a syntax error.

What do you get a man that has evreything? Aids

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was at a crosswalk and had the right of way to on coming traffic

why did the pile of rocks cross the road? they were stuffed down the chickens throat

yous are all f u c k i n g dumb like rat kavanagh

How do you get a blonde to drown herself? Isolate her in an aqueous environment

Maturity is a virtue.

knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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