What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

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Why did the little girl cry? Because she saw her future.

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Whats the difference between a hoover and a harley? one is a vacuum, and the other is a motorcycle.

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Knock Knock.

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Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

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Q: why did the prisoner drop his soap? A: easy sex

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

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If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

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I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's wet.

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So there are 5 people on a plane the president, a movie star, and man who is on the verge of making world peace, the smartest man in the world, and the pope the piolt has a heart atack at and the plane will crash soon there are only 4 parachutes. So the first is Obama and he saysI won a Nobel piece prize and I run American see ya later and he takes the parachute next Steven hawking says sory pope Im taking this because I don't believe in God and black holes are cool so he takes the parachute and jumps out. Next Charlie Sheen says I need to entertain people and keep the drug dealers in business so he. Takes the parachute and jumps out. Then Francis turns to the hippie and says if you achive world peace it may help eliminate some poverty so you take the last paratute and jump out then the hippie says in return no its OK Steven Hawking took my back back. When they land they decide to serch for Steven's body and they find nothing. You see Steven Hawking had taken his own paratute with him and took the Hippies backpack to sell it and make some money

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Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

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Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

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how do you boil oil? add b to oil

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Tunechi

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Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

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what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

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What's worse than dying? Dying twice.

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The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

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what's the only thing worse than losing a pen before a test? getting raped by a pedifile. -teagan doherty-

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one of my friends died of heartburn today :( i cant believe gav is gone

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What happens when you drop a baby? It falls.

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3021 North Broadway Avenue

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Why couldn't the blonde screw in the light bulb?? - she happened to be autistic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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