Hey girl, are you from Jamaica? Cus ja makin me go temporarily insane.

Roses are brown Violets are brown There is crap in my garden

What did the black guy say to the Jewish guy when it began to rain? It's raining.

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

civil rights

What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

A woman walks into the kitchen to see her husband cooking dinner because gender stereotypes have been dead for years.

why did the black man leave his home because there was a hurricane that would have killed him if he stayed.

why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

Llega San Pedro le dice a dios y se va.

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

What's big and green and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A snooker table

REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REDD REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED................................that is all LOL

What did one cow say to the other cow? nothing cows cant talk. They did however, exchange glances while chewing grass next to each other.

Leading a hike.. Kid falls off a cliff and dies. Who cleans him up? Bear.

Why did the alligator travel through time? To get to the other side.

Kumquats Daffodils Alka-Seltzer Serendipity Dewey Decimal System Buccaneer Avuncular Pantaloons Weasels Alligator Chewbacca Sasquatch

A man on a plane convened his stupid flyer that instead of who in knock-knock jokes it what were, he thought it would funny. Later it really paid off, as they fly very close over water he says "knock knock" "whose there" " Captain Neverlands" "Captain Neverlands wh-...were" "Captain Neverlands IN WATER YOU DUMMY!!!!"

Why couldn't the Asian drive? He was blind

Your momma's so fat that she can't pass through some turnstiles and needs go through some other way with people staring and feel sad about it.

What do you call a young man holding a banana? Well, this joke had quite a good ending, but as this site only has anti jokes I am going to change the ending. Because he wanted to eat it.

I share two rooms with my mother.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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