one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

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What's worse than the Holocaust? • • • Stubbing your toe.

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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When will Abe Vigoda be alive again? Never. There will never again be a time when Abe Vigoda will be alive. For example, Abe Vigoda will be dead for the entirety of the year 2038. He will continue to be dead if we move forward to the year 2091, and even if we keep jumping forward throughout history, stopping in the years 2250, 2871, and 3546, we will not land in an era when Abe Vigoda will be alive. Another way to look at this is to imagine Abe Vigoda had died in earlier years. Let's say he had died in 1902. Would he be alive today? The answer, sadly, is no. We get the same answer if we suppose Abe Vigoda had died in 1822, 1715, or ~ 85,200,000 BPE. To sum up, it is not precisely accurate to say that Abe Vigoda will be dead for a very long time. That implies a limit on the amount of time he will be dead. There is no limit.

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Hobos are like Obama they want change.

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A Duck, a Mexican guy and Helen Keller walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What do each of you want?" The duck doesn't respond because is is a duck. The Mexican guy doesn't respond because he doesn't know English that well. Helen Keller does't respond because she is dead.

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What's the difference between being gay and being homosexual? Nothing really. The two words are synonyms so they can be used interchangeably.

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children falling off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue Wait Arent Violets purple?

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Are you one of those gay rapists that flame around telling people no all the time?

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Yo Momma is Like a Prostitute... ...I pay her for sexual intecourse

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Your mumma is so fat, she has diabetes.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Auntie.

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who lives in a pinaple under the sea? japanesse people!

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What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

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You hear a big Boom, and run in, and see a shattered toilet, and a very BIG dying woman, on the floor next to it.

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What did Batman say to Superman before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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What do you expect from a perverted demon? -nothing less perverted!

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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Why did the car stop? There was a fridge in the road

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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what ate all the ants in the hill? an anteater

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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