Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face." the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer."

What do you call black people in a pool? African american swimmers

Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted, the other was brutally raped.

Why do gingers smell so bad? So the blind can hate them too

Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

hi hi strager danger

This is the worst anti-joke on the entire site. Just look at all the thumbs down!

What do you do i a stranger offers you candy? Make sure its not stale then jump in his van.

A Women is holding a piece of paper with her rights what is she holding a grocery list

Q: why do english soldiers have red coats? A: to cover the blood stains, so they can still lead their platoons when they are shot. why else?

roses are red violets are blue shut the fuck up or ill fuck you

Whats worse than stubbing your toe? statutory rape

The only time when white and black are together When I've just taken a shit! ?ttis

Whats worse than a Jew Ben rike

A white, black, and Hispanic man walk into a bar at 2:00 in the morning. Unfortunately the bar closed at midnight, so they were charged with breaking and entering, and were sentenced to 2 years in prison.

why was little johnny laughing all day cactus

Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

I have down syndrome. -RDV

you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

Horse Head Huffer Network DIY LOLFUNNY EXAMSMORE FAIL AT 11RATE MY EX GIRLFRIENDWIFI LOLYO DAWG PICS CHECK OUT OUR IPHONE APP! TwitterRssPOPULAR NEWEST RANDOM WRITE YOUR OWN! Anti Joke logo Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below! Your Answer Solve Media New PuzzleSwitch to audio puzzleMore Information... I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service Submit Anti Joke What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Our Updated iOS App! We’ve just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn’t make the original cut (like comments) but they’ll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here. The Anti Joke Book NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we’ve resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book! MOAR?? Want more? You might be interested in… Anti-Joke Chicken Anti-Joke Triceratops Download Our Free App! Hay guise, our iPhone app was just approved! available on the app store! Pictures From Our Other Sites Tumblr_kw8cw9dmft1qzvk4co1_500 JAPAN IS WEIRD Trucks YO DAWG PICS Ice-cream-cone-7bada2 PORN SFW Scan0011 FUNNY EXAMS Bulk-upload-801c63 CREEPY COVER Passedoutphotos-com-c898a0 PASSED OUT PHOTOS Quotes From Other Sites “If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know....” via: Anti-Pickup Line “[In the P45]: "AH LORRY, LORRY, LORRY, LORRY! Oh a lot of poo SHOT out then!".” via: Clarksonisms “The Government..” via: Pointless Inventions “The power to revive people with terminal disease, and still they have it..” via: Pointless Super Powers “I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off..” via: Things You Think Only You Do “According to my monitoring, billions of people in the world receive the personal loans at various creditors. So, there is a good chance to get....” via: ethugtxt available on the app store! Anti JokeClarksonismsethugtxtPointless InventionsPointless Super Powers Feedback :: Advertising Inquiries :: Copyright :: Privacy :: Terms of Service ©2008-2014 Anti Joke. All rights reserved. A Horse Head Huffer Production. Horse Head Huffer Rails Hosting provided by BlueBox

What did the us reporter say? nothing as his head was in a isis members bin

What do you call a black priest? Father

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...