COME HERE, POTTER!!!! NOW!!! Instead of agreeing to approach the source of the rather hostile summoning, Potter decided to sit down and eat a healthy vegetarian lunch of sausages and chips.

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Brian: Have you seen my slippers? Louise: What the hell are you doing in myhouse? Help ! Police! Brian: You have amnesia like in that film 50 first dates Louise: What film? I don't remember that Brian: Exactly

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. It was hanging on a clothes line he didn't see.

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Why did the boy get hit by the bus? He didn't check both sides before crossing

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How do you fit a whale into a truck bed? You can't, whales live in the ocean.

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Girl: What is your phone number? Guy: 1-800-Choke-Dat-Ho

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why did the bus hit the kid? he dropped his ice cream.

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Two men are sitting on a park bench discussing the anatomy of goats. Where is Bertha? Teaching the principals of mathematics to blind orphins in Moscow, Russia.

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How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

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How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

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Ice cream You scream We all scream Because there is a murderer killing our friends

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Why did Lucy fall out of the tree? Because she sting by a wasp.

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what do you call the man making meth in his basement? the police to stop inappropriate behavior from reaching the children of society.

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What will happen when a black person die they die

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how many dead babies can fit in a microwave? 3 1/2

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Yo Mama is so ugly she wears a mask on halloween

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get for you?" The man replies, "a drink"

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Your mom is so ugly that she had self-esteem problems and severe depression as a teenager due to merciless bullying due to her looks, however she overcame this, found a man who loved her for who she was, and then married him. She now lives a happy life.

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What is funny about a cod swimming around alone in the ocean? Nothing, over-fishing is a huge problem in the modern day.

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Henry VIII: I need another wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thomas Wolsey: All right then. How about my nan? Henry VII: I'm dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :~D

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Knock knock.

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HOREY SHIT!! OMFG!! I win? Yeah I think so.. Wait. Why am I talking to myself.. Aww not again.. My doctor warned me about this.. D:

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

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How did the black person die? Of old age

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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