What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

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So there was a guy in the middle of the street, how did he survive? ...He doesnt because he gets hit by a car becuase hes in the middle of the street...

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What's something 9/10 people enjoy? A gang rape.

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What do you get if you cross a football with Theo Walcott? A goal kick.

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Wanna hear a joke about a germ? Sorry I don't want to spread it! -LEts Go Mets!

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I'm going to Re-write History... History

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the man the invented it doesnt want it, the man that wants it doesnt need it, and the man the needs it doesnt know it....what is it? a coffin.

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Why really answer a question when you can just respond, "because you touch yourself." For example, Q: Why did fluffy die? A: Because you touch yourself.

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Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Six Million Jews.

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Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a mission for N.A.S.A.

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Knock knock. I HAVE A SHOTGUN

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A: Knock Knock B: Whos there A: Orange B: Orange who A: Arent you glad i didnt say chair

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The day the forces of light fight the forces of darkness, we will all live in darkness no matter who wins. Pure darkness will not allow you to see. Pure light will blind you.

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Whats, red, blue, green, yellow, feels like popcorn, looks like jello, tastes like hydrogen peroxide and smells like burning logs? i dont know. i was asking you

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How hot was the blonde considering she was in Africa for the first time and it was 103 degrees, very

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My tractor broke down.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

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if a kayak was stuck in a tree with its headlights on, how many pancakes stacked will it take to get to the moon? none because snakes dont have armpits

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I eat you and die of obesity due to high blood pressure and bad heart disease!!!

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womens rights!

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What did the statue say to the other statue? Nothing, statues cant speak.

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How do you make a Hispanic man sad? Answer: steal everything he has until he has nothing

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“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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