Whats red and hairy ? A carpet !

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A high school student finally gets the nerve to ask his long-time crush on a date. They begin dating, and eventually settle down and get married. After six months of marriage, she dies in a car crash and he spends years in therapy.

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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Two guys stopped at a restaurant for coffee. "I'll have a mug of strong coffee," said the first. The second said, " I'll have strong coffee too, but I want a clean mug." The waiter returns and says, "which one of you wants the clean mug?"

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Why do people always walk so slow when your in a rush to get somewhere? They don't it just seems like that

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Your mom is so old so will die soon.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy, I am pregnant and that's yo baby !

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How do Chinese people name their kids? The couple discuss possible names and then pick the one that they feel suits the child best.

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Whats worse than getting negative 5 on your calculus test? Coming up positive on your Chlamydia test.

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i said why are you disliking me he said its anti joke

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What's more annoying than Minion quotes? That the girl in the basement keeps screaming for help.

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What's red and creeps up your leg? A homesick abortion.

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What did the man say when his wife said hello? Hello.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? This is 7, if you do everything I say, 6 will live.

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why did dinosaurs die??? because a giant rock blew them up

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What happed to the kid who survived cancer? He got hit by a plain.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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The 70's called. They had the wrong number.

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Games stop telling me to press any key to continue. That key doesn't exist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was in the oven

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What's the square root of 69? 8.306623862918075

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I`m not as random as you think i`m salad.

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What is 2+2? 4!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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