What time is it when an elephant steps on your watch? Time to go to the hospital and get treated for a shattered wrist.

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How do Helen keller's parents punish her? They sternly reprimand her for her misdeeds.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and legs? Simply a pillow

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What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

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A man with short term memory loss loses his memory every day. His last memory before his accident is the day he escaped this hostpital and murdered a family of five. He continues to do this every day and he is known in Mexico as cincochico.

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Why was Martin Luther King assassinated? Because he had a mustache.

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A 10 year old underpriveledged boy goes to the second mile camp and meets his new counselor: Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky. The two bond very much and talk a lot. Sandusky invites the boy back to the locker room to shower because the boy got muddy. The boy takes a shower, gets clean, and goes back to his cabin. The boy has a great time at the camp and goes home.

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If your canoe is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon. False, snakes don't have armpits

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Testicles.

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Why did the goat cross the street? It was running away from the Tsunami

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how do you drown a blonde? strategically place a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool (or just a regular sticker because, quite honestly, they won't be able to tell the difference as the water fills their lungs)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause your mom has cancer

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Knock Knock. Who's there? William. William who? You friend...William...you invited me over.. Can I come in?

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whats worse than ur granny dying? uhhh...actually theres nothing is worse

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Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

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What is the proper response when someone says "My family died in a car crash"? Lol fail

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What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

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Q:What did the hillbilly say when he lost his tractor? A: Where is my tractor

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rape that shit

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Q)whats pink and fluffy A)pink fluff

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What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? Obama is the president and a drug-dealer has lost his life to the awful streets.

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What did the young girl with leukemia say to a stranger? I am afraid

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Xzibit

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why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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