So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Why can't the man have babies? His nuts was cut off and he eventually bleed to death.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says to the other: "Maybe we should rethink our ways of life and realize why animals are on this planet"

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Whats invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts

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why was six afraid of seven? seven was a sex offender

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So your driving your brick car and the steering wheel falls off. So how many pancakes does it take to fill your dog house? 12 because hamsters don't wear shoes

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I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, the divorce papers were filed soon thereafter.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's go play on our bikes.

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What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs sitting on a doorstep? Whatever his name happens to be

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wheres a good place to find funny jokes? anti-joke.com

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"Hey! Did you get a haircut?" "No, I just started chemo..."

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Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second muffin and says "OH MY GOD I CAN TALK!" the second muffin is so shaken in its beliefe system by a talking muffin that it commits suicide.

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What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? A long sleeve shirt

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What did the resently released criminal get for his birthday? a nice sweater

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Your mother is so stupid she couldn't get a passing score on a standardized test.

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this anti joke will likely be the most liked one out of all the anti jokes.

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What's the difference between a water melon and a baby? One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other's just a water melon.

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what did the joke say to the anti-joke? do you want to fight

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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Q:why did i cross the road A: time to get a watch

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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