Roses are red Violets are blue I forgot to go to the bathroom

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Why can't bob fix it? I through a frige at him.he died.

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Your mom is so nice.

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Why does my friend pick up garbage? Because he is a garbageman.

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Your mom is so fat she has to buy clothes at a Plus-size clothing store.

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What do you call an amazing person Good

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What rhymes with bigger and can jump really high? Tigger

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What did my grandma tell me during a funeral? Nothing. It's her funeral. She's dead.

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An Irishman walks out of a bar.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog. Instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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what happens when y tell ur deff brother uve been sleeping with his wife..nothing

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are you gay does your mom know

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roses are red violets are blue ill cut your dick off and use it as glue

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What do you call two gay men playfully wrestling? Immature.

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Canada AYY

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would run away too if your name was urdaagaa.

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Knock knock Who's there? You Whoa...

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Why did the leper go back into the shower? he missed a spot.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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You are walking down the street, and a man keeps on getting in your way. You want to politely... Screw it already and stab him in the back

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whats blue and fuzzy?.... blue fuzz

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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ProX hacker JazZ Has aids hahahaha

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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