Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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69

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A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says that there are no dogs allowed, but the man says that he is blind. So the man sits down with his dog and asks for a drink. The bartender decided to check to see if he was really blind, so he says, " Hey, do you know what time it is?" The blind man replies, "7 o'clock," The bartender says, "Ha! You said you were blind! Get out of..." but was interrupted by the man, who promptly said, "No, I'm deaf," and left.

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A black man walks into a Ku Klux Klan meeting.

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Animal

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How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? 23

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What do you call 2 black men sitting on a porch? Craig and Smokey

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Two fish are in a tank. It is an average sized tank designed to hold aquatic animals.

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Which way do 4 gay guys walk South then past the milkbar then around the corner

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OMG I NEED FRESH WATER

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Q: What do you do when your friend tells you he murdered someone? A: Call the police.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing

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A bear walked into a bar and said to the bartender," I'd li.........................ke one beer please. " The bartender replied, " Sure. But why the big pause? "

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How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

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Why is Helen Keller Blind and Deaf? Because she can't drive!... oh no wait I screwed that up.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? set her alarm for a reasonable hour

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why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a date-rapist

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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if any1 wants contact with me, nina, call me on my cell at 879-555-0934 im looking for a short, chubby man with a hungering taste of mexican taste

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What's not funny? Today's anti-joke writers

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What did God say to the snake when the Snake decided to ignore God and just give Eve the apples? Snake what are you doing? Answer me, SNAKE! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! *DUN DUN DURUDUN! DU DU DUN! *gunshot* Moral: I just hate thumbs ups, and the comments where I omit this receives those horrible green thumbs instead of them sexy red ones, so there goes.

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why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because it thought that it would somehow increase its chances of survival.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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