http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tw10xa_xtNg

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the black man drowning? His boat sank.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? I can't really remember the reason, it was about 5 years ago and a lot of things have happened since.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the fish say after he swam into a wall? Dam

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas ? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the difference between a black man and a bunk bed? A bunk bed is stable and can support two children.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: How do get a person to leave you alone ? A: Suck out his eye-balls stuff them in your ears to muffle the sound of his screaming as you head-butt him into a fine paste. Then proceed to spread or squeeze sed paste on to delicious food substance and eat sed delicious food substance. Then carry on with the rest of your day like nothing happened. (P.S. Just ignore any letters about court cases or arrests)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the slut have white stuff on her mouth? Because she just ate ice-cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

yo mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the size of the door...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I had a submarine.... once

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the man with every known fatal disease die? Old age.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red Zombies are hungry and blue My brain is half-eaten And what about you?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Jay-z

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do call a fly with no legs? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If the Trojan Horse was a deadly deception, is it My Lethal Phony?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's better than a $75 000 salary? 80 000 sticks of celery.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Pete and Repeat were in a boat, Pete jumped out. Repeat was concerned-not only because his name was typically used as a verb and not something parents normally name a baby, but about why Pete would jump out of the boat? Pete wondered what to do next-should he jump in and see if Pete is okay? He also wondered if he should he change his name to Kevin.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

thumb_up thumb_down +12

An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

thumb_up thumb_down +32

what are the three types of rings? -wedding ring -engagement ring -suffering

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops