Q: What would you do for a Klondike bar? A: I would make the slightly onerous journey to the local grocery establishment and pay my hard-earned money to procure a dessert which I quite enjoy.

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Uh, Liz, he is staring at the screen... He says you are right and knows, so he cant get mad, ill trust you both, but it better work, or this one is on me. Oh by the way, yeah he is eating, sorry its late here, and I am the only nurse here about now Ironically this place is full of doctors but they dont seem to give a crap about the man that pays their checks. Doctors said no, Nero said "you are fired" Doctor changes his opinion, glad to see he is taking charge around here, I am just worried about his sleep, he is beginning to halucinate and I doubt any stimulants will help. But fine, ill trust you, sorry, really shaking my boots here, I really do not want to, but this is not about me.

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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What did the astronaut say when he stepped on the moon? Oops, sorry.

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Why do white people wear black shirts? Why do black people wear white shirts?

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had to arms. Knock knock Who's there? Well clearly not Sally

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Q: Were did the balls go? A: In the sack.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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What has two legs and oinks? Half a pig.

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Gay marriage is freaking gay.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? Boy scouts come back from camp.

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A jew, an Arab, and A Scientist walk into a bar. The arab self explodes and kills them all

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pussy enough said

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???????????? WTF?

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What's the difference between a cow and a purple sweater? They're both purple Besides the cow

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fruit salad?

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women rights

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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Why did the bud driver drop his ice cream? Because he hit a boy.

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How did the boy get a bruise? His mum threw a fridge at him! How did the boy get a big graise? He got mulched! Why did the boy get molested? Because he was naked in Mr. Molestogiacomo's house!

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Why was the teenage girl pregnant? She got raped by her dad.

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Why do people read Bibles? To learn about God.

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Jake was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. His wife looks down and sees a scale.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? Almost everything. Infant mortality rates are incrediby high in many third world countries, and it is certainly no laughing matter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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