Tim and Eric

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A man walks to a bar. The door was locked and had a closed sign so he walks away and goes home.

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Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman

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Why didn't the little boy get to go to the movies on his birthday? He was both blind and deaf, completely defeating the purpose of going to the movies.

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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What's the difference between liberals and communists? Nothing.

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I can count to potato.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I would like a rum and............ Coke." The bartender asks, curiously, "What's up with the big pause?" The bear looks down at his paws, embarrassed, and mumbles under his breath, "social anxiety."

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Where did Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he pushes himself up which puts resistance on his arms and therefore strengthens his arm muscles and performs physical exercise.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

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A man walks in to a bar. He was hospitalized and died later that day.

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why hppened when the little boy failed his math test? He cut off his penis, shaved his head and hung himself

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What starts with E and ends with lephant? Not giraffe

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What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

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Did you know every 46 seconds somebody commits suicide Thumbs up for pancakes!

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Nobody cares.

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How do you make a mess? Microwave a baby.

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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Your mother is so stupid she couldn't get a passing score on a standardized test.

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A minor, her mom, her aunt and a marine went out drinking...they had a fun night

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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