A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? A: "Fred is raping your sister with a puck."

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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was in a refrigerated freight truck en-route to its destination.

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why can't Hellen Keller hear? she is deaf.

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What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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What do you call a baked bean falling from 10,000 feet? A baked bean

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im saul and i love cock

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Why did the little girl stop licking her Popsicle? A psychopath cut off her tongue.

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

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Gotta go Mark Gotta go Mark MARK MARKMARKMARK! Moving at the speed of mark I'm the quickest mark around Got ourselves a mark Start getting a new mark Without any mark On top of mark! Go- Go- Go- Don't mark Don't mark Just markmarkmarkmark! mark, he's on the run mark, he's number one mark, he's coming next so watch out for mark X! Gotta go mark, gotta go mark mark mark markmarkmark Go go go go go go go go go! marrrrrkkk X!!

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the car? We're going to Dairy Queen.

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Why did the middle age man walk across the street? There were no vehicles currently driving on that particular road

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What is in your backyard and is stalking you? Corn

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a straight line? Because he has Parkinson's disease.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daisies are yellow Trust me, I'm a florist.

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Hey, dude, wanna hear a joke? Sure... Pussy. ...I dont get it... Exactly! HAHAHAHAHAHA

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If Chuck Norris were to be hit by a train he would die

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? because he got ran over by a bus! (not a original, just funny)

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A priest, a rabbi and a proctologist walk into a bar. Why is there a bar lying in the middle of the sidewalk?

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What's black and white and in the desert? Tourists being held hostage by a tribe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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