Your mama is so fat she is morbid obese.

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Q: Why didn't the Government help the poor little boy? A: Because he was taking a test and that would be cheating.

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What did the red cat say to his owner? Nothing.

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How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic men? 25

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A guy asks, "Why was my mom in your bed?" The other guy replies, "Because your mom has a mental disease which inhibits her ability to process thought."

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Joe Paterno dosn't walk into a police station.-South Park

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what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

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- What do you call a black pirate? + A Nig-ARRRRRRRRRR - No, a pirate you fucking racist

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What did the black guy say to the other black guy? We are both black

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Why couldn't Matilda walk to school? Because a dog ripped her legs off.

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Where did Officer Blackman find the missing child? A shallow grave.

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When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

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Knock Knock. Martha, get the door I'm watching the game!

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Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

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What kind of Mexican makes no money? A Mexican without a job.

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What is big, white and hairy A refrigerator, I lied about the hair

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So a black guy walks into a bar, respectively pays his tab and walks out.

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There is a man who is half black half Jewish. He walking up a hill really fast. What happens to him? Answer: The Jewish side of his body will fall off and the black side will walk away.

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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The eighties called They were pretty exited about inventing a telephone that can call the future

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being raped by your uncle

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What is blue and not heavy? Light blue!

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at the piano? Because he is dead.

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Why does Jonny have a phobia birds? Because he has one glued to his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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