What do elephants and grapes have in common? They are both purple arpart from the elephant, which is grey. I lied about it being purple

(Played Basketball for 15 years) I TOLD YOU I'D QUIT WHEN LeBron Gets A RING

Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies? A young girl you know personally, completely alone with leukemia.

How does a muslim make his parents proud? He gets good grades.

Why did Darren Wilson quick scope Michael Brown? Because he was being attacked, racism is wrong

A African American male and a Mexican male are both in a car, who is driving? Most likely the owner or the car.

a disabled man takes a walk in a park

whats the difference between a ferrari in my garage, and a pile of dead babies in my garage. I do not have a ferrari but i do have a pile of dead babies

Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bucket of poop. The Mexican is a human the bucket of poop is an object filled bodily wastes.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon... Michael Jackson has sex with little boys.

How do you kill a retard? you shoot him in the head

If you don't see banners here, it doesnt mean their not there...

Take My Wife- Because as it stands, I'm having frequent, toe-curling, unprotected sex with your wife. And that just doesnt seem fair.

Twelve men walk into a bar, and get stuck in the door because it's far too small for all of them to walk through at the same time.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

*Knock knock* Who's there? *Silence* (The person knocking is deaf)

What is the most confusing day for chavs? Fathers day

How did the fireman get to the police station? He massacred his wife and children.

What did the black man do when KFC got his order wrong? He gave his receipt to the cashier and kindly asked for the correct meal.

So I walked upstairs and I told the guy, "No." And he then asks, "Why?"

Why did the chicken cross the street? I don't know really

I banged your mom so hard that she got a urinary tract infection.

Giant scorpions, red roses, adoption, the holocaust, bars, changing light bulbs, and fridges.

I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...