Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

What is the difference between a black man and a bench A bench can support a family of five

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "What will it be tonight?" He then promptly remembers he is on anti-joke.co but is too late to react. The horse has already shit on the floor. This is the fifth time this week that this has happened.

What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

When is a door not a door? When your burns down.

How do u kill a horse? U stab it with a huge butcher knife

Womens' sports

hi dave

What did Joel say to the mouse. We're both dead mouses.

An asian and white guy walk into a bar, the white man says to the asian "Do I know you from somewhere?" The asian says. "Yes, I used to go to college with you." The white man remebers him, and they catch up on life.

No I do not think that, that would be a wasted thought.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? eating the worm causing it to breed inside of your body later causing them to eat you internally

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

your mom is so old, she is often confused for your grandmother.

What do you get when you put a blue bucket in the red sea? it gets wet

A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation. John was never the same.

What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

I had a dream I watched Inception.

A young child drops his ice cream and began to cry. Why are you crying asks his mother Because I dropped my ice cream said the child

Why do black people love kool aid? It is cools them down on a warm summer day and it tastes great! OHHHH YEAAAAHHHHH

how do you get rid of your home work? give it to your dog!

Knock knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The interrupting doct... You have Cancer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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