What do you call a fat man who can turn slim? I don't know

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Why did the bald man die? Cancer.

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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"Sh*t!" cursed the man. "You're such a potty mouth!" replied the unamused toilet.

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what did charlie sheen do when his ex wife insulted him? he horribly abused her

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What did the chemist say when his BBQ ran out of charcoal? Nothing interesting.

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If I were in a room with you hitler, stalin, i would shoot hitler and stalin because they are horrible people.

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Whats the difference between a polish drunkard and a German scholar? They are two different nationalities.

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What happened when the 16 year old told her mother she was pregnant? Her mother was extremely disappointed that her daughter did not stay faithful to an abstinent life but eventually became proud of the fact that she would soon be a grandmother.

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all your base are belong to mark

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Whats red and is bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Me.

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What did the boy with cancer, no arms, and no legs get for his birthday? Nothing he was dead.

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

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whats the difference between a black man and a bench a bench can support a family

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

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why did miles cross the road? Because hes gay

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What happened to the man who lost his job? He couldn't support his family so they all became homeless and eventually died of starvation.

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Hitler was in a shampoo advert that everyone bought Now people must be dying to take a shower

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there once was a cat it was brown? fus-roh-dah

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my shift key is broken1

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How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb...1 How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb...2

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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