What do you call a lawyer who came from the ghetto? Someone who did quite well for themselves despite coming from a tough area.

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? Just in case he gets a hole in one! -LEts Go Mets P.S the comment below is also very stupid

How do you make a baby cry? Hit it with a brick.

Three baby seals walk into a club...

- Knock knock. - Who's there? - I am. - I am who? - You are Steve. - Indeed.

Yo mama so ugly that she often has trouble being attractive towards people of the opposite gender

why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad. salads can't fly planes.

Why was the fish disappointed with his grades? They were all below C-level!

How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

Once upon a cross

What do you call a low-fat banana? A nothing...

Why can't Stephen Hawking go to the moon? He can, it would require a great sum of money, and extensive anti-gravity training.

When life gives you a pack of Kools, make Kool-Aid.

why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

what rhymes with pirates? not Somalia because i don't consider a inflatable boat a pirate ship.

What do you call a flying jew? Smoke.

Today i decided to burn calories, so I grabbed my lighter from the counter and put it in my pocket and proceeded to the treadmill.

Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

Micael Jackson enters a bar. Everyone screams, and then someone runs over and pulls the cheap mask off the impersonator's face. Michael Jackson IS DEAD, get over it

What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

What did Hitler say to the Jew? I don't know, I don't speak German.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there was a red light and it was his turn to cross.

Alan: My Grandfather has a jacket made from jews that he killed while he was in the SS. James: Really? Alan: No, I'm Korean. My Grandfather would not be allowing into the SS.

knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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