King Triton: "As much as it pains me to lose you, Ariel, I want you to be happy with your prince..." Ariel: "So why don't you just turn Eric into a merman?" King Triton: "Good idea."

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An atmosphere goes into one bar. Which is pretty normal since it is roughly the regular value of the atmospheric pressure on Earth at sea level

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A dog walks into a bar and is promptly escorted out as animals are not allowed.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot. You racist bastard.

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What did the rabbit say to the frog? If you think the rabbit said anything, you need to see a psychiatrist.

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What's worse than a fly in your soup? Getting killed in a plane crash.

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Q. Why dont people like shane murchan ? A. Because he wears chinos .....

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

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Now this bible thing, is a real anti joke so get ready to have your faith tested, and overcome it: There was that story where God charged against an army at the top of some mountains, the army is told to have been led with God personally at the front rank right? But they lost because the enemy had horse wagons (you know what I mean) made of steel or iron, (does not matter what it is if you ask yourself really) I mean even if it was Metatron, he would have had uh... Wings or something to even the odds, Maybe God is like Raiden from Mortal Kombat, he needs to become a Mortal in order to enter fights on earth... MORTAL KOMBAAAT! I mean God made humans humans made Sin (gotta say we get the blame for a lot of shit others did, I hate apples and cant even stand the smell of them for once, never ate one)

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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Why did Jack got late to his date? Because he was playing Call of Duty and forgot about the time.

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Who is JP? A really smart kid! HAHA jk

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When life throws you lemons, duck cuz they freakin' hurt

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Why did the kitchen cross the road?

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Whats black and white and red all over? A dead zebra

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Why did the cat die? Johnny put in the microwave.

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Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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Why was the Asian women crossing 8 lanes of traffic with no blinker? Poor chink had a seizure.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Though if the ladder is rickety and she needs someone to steady it for her, two.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "I just found out I have AIDS"

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According to standard table etiquette what is rude when someone passes you the salt? Jamming a fork in their eye

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Q:What does a wheel a triangle and a circle all have in common A:There all round, I lied about the triangle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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