What happened to the dog that ate to much? It became obese.

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A man walks into a bar. The other one ducks.

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BALLS! said the Queen if i had them i would be King

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What did the paralyzed kid get for his 18th birthday? A boner.

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I went river dancing once. I fell in

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Why was the boy sleeping on the curb? he wasn't actually sleeping, he actualy just got hit by a car and had already died.

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So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

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What's green and has 4 wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench? The Mexican is alive and the park bench isn't.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy??? Just different pigmentation of their skin.

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What did one retarded person say to another? asiuasdhfiusanklasndfkjlnknankjas

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husband : honey , can i have stuff candy wife : no husband : can i have milk and cookies wife : what kind of milk wink wink husband 2% you pervert

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roses are red violets are blue i took your cup to the bathroom ...thats not really apple juice:)

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why did the jew cross the road? the ss was chasing him and his family to kill him so he ran across the street to same his family, he got hit by a truck and his family was killed...

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What do you call a black man with no arms? Trustworthy.

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what happens when an Asian and a Jew get married. They have children.

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Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

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Why did the man scream? because he was run over.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

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whats hairy and fat? I DONT KNOW YOU TELL ME RETARD

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A car walks into a bar.

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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