FOOL TOP COMMENT IS MINE!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A chinese man walks into a kitten store. He is a nice man in search of a companion.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Obama is a black man living in a white house. TEEHEE

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's sicker than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill death ratio

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A guy walks into a bar. He puts an icepack on his head so it doesn't swell, and decides to go out for a drink. He walks into a bar and thinks to himself, "that's twice today, maybe I should just go home."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why was six afraid of seven? Six wasn't. He listens in on women's self defense classes and can deliver a kick to the crotch so hard that it will create for you a new vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did Billy say to Timmy? Timmy! I'm so sorry. *Sniffles* I didn't mean to throw the fork that hard. Rest in peace Timmy...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A bear walked into a bar, unfortunately there were no survivors.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many babies does it take to paint a house? That is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red violets are blue I'm sorry to say it but i hate you

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia They had communism

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q:Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? A: Neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Justin Bieber walks into a bar. <>

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the kid get athsma? Genetics.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: How do you kill a goblin if the fries are next to the sushi? A: Yes. Walruses have nostrils and rubber chickens don't like microwaves!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? Roast Beef Is Made From A Cow And Is Commonly Sold At Your Local Arby's.Pea Soup Is Made From Peas And No One Really Likes Pea Soup Anyway So Its Not Really Sold Anywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +106

How did the newborn baby come out of a man? It was ejaculated as a sperm from his testicles

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I tried to call my friend in Haiti. It went straight to vibrate.....

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A black man, a Muslim man, and a Jewish man walk into a bar so the bartender says, "Get the f*** out."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops