A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. Since the man understands the meanings of most common phrases he responds in the correct and expected manner.

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Tiger Woods isn't a Tiger, He's a lion cheeta.

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Libyans stage a protest. They get massacred.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally.

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What did batman do before getting into his batmobile? - Look for the keys.

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What do you call a man with an eight foot steel spike wedged in his rectum? An Ambulance

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What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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A panda walks into a bar. He eats but then is tranquilized and taken back to the zoo.

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Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock kock ding dong ding di-ding dong zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sigh weeeeeeeeeewooooooooooooooooo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz hey yo wake up zzz-oh-huh-what-whos there i've been yelling for like five minutes oh sorry jim will you let me in already all right

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because of excess velocity.

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An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a Coke.

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So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because people kept making the same joke about her not having arms so she was hoping the fall would break her neck.

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You're so ugly you got rejected from the zoo.

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Poop!!

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1: Knock, knock 2: Go away!

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What Do you Call Cheese that's not yours (nacho cheese?) *interrupt them violently and stare with crazy eyes!* STOLEN! I was gonna make quesadillas, now no quesadillas for anyone!

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm Helen Keller.

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Why did little jimmy fall off the building? 9/11

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wioFUrwny1c

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Why was the black man fired from his job? Because the company was beginning to lose sales which then resulted in job cuts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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