If an old person falls in the middle of the woods do they make a sound? No their died.

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Why was the chimp late for his flight? Because chimps arent allowed through airport security.

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What's short, green, and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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roses are red violets are blue oranges are......

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your mother is so fat, she possesses her own orbit

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Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

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whats worse than a pile of dead babies?...... A carrot

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A co-pilot

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A boy eats 3 pounds of candy, 2 whole pizzas, and drinks 10 beers. Why did he puke? Someone came out of nowhere, and kicked him in the nuts

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was scary.. made by Kevin Kool

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-What do you call a dog with no legs? -Call it whatever you want, it's not coming!

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what tall and looks like a jew?

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Black people are like jelly beans. Nobody likes the black one's.

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Why was the blonde woman crying? -because she witnessed her infant get sucked into a jet engine and was very sad.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet

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Q: what did i say when i crashed into the twin tower. A: nothing i was dead

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Q.What did the anti-joke reader say to the doctor? A-My finger is stuck on the dislike button.

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what did the church group do at their picnic? drink the kool aid

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Sharks have teeth, I have teeth, Therefore i am a cat.

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Why is that chicken crossing the ro-..... oh, woops, he got run over by that truck...

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A guy is in Weekends Millionaire. He says: I could use a lifeline. Quizmaster: Which one would you like? Guy: Anyone, I have AIDS

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Q: What would you do if i pushed you down the stairs A: I would suffer from serious head injuries thus filling you with guilt for performing such a deed.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c it was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out if the tree? A: b/c it was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c he thought it was a game. Q: Why did the toaster fall out of the tree? A: The branch snapped. Q: Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? A: She was hit by three monkeys and a toaster :( MAB99

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What is a homeless man for Halloween? A garbage bag

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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