There once was a man from Nantucket... Who was fiscally responsible.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You were adopted and I couldn't think of a good way to tell you...

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What did the Carbon atom say to the Oxygen atom? Nothing, basic elements are incapable of speech. It requires a culmination of many atoms to form a living human capable of speaking to another human.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your roommate, I forgot my keys.

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What do silly people in a monastery say? stop munkying around.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car> "Get in the car."

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Why did the Afircan child die? He had AIDS.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Presents.

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Whats brown and sticky? A Stick.

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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What has a bomb straped to itself and has wheels? Me. I lied about the wheels.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass...I was just lying about the wheels.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What is more funny than an anti joke? A real joke.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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whats funnier than a joke? A: a funnier joke

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo Don't worry I'll be there too! Not in the cage But laughing at you! ??

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Try this on your friends and make them look dumb So a plane crashes on the border between the USA and Canada. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury the survivors.

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What did the black boy wear for Halloween? A costume.

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why did sally drown cause she was black

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is pretty messed up!

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What did the president say after his wife and kids left Him? Im Obama self now

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Whats worse than than falling in a puddle on the way to a meeting? Getting shot while your at that meeting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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