Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? It was because it was a mushroom costume party

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AIDS

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What's a Mexicans favourite video game? It depends on his/her personal preferences.

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Guy walks into a bar and half his head is an orange. Barman: What can i get.. holy shit half your head is an orange!! How did that happen?? Guy: Magic Lamp, rubbed it, three wishes etc etc. Barman: What in the bejesus were your three wishes, half your head is an orange. Guy: First Wish – I wished for every woman in the world to love me. Barman: Right, that is ok. What was your second wish? Guy: Second Wish – I wished that I was a billionaire. Barman: What in the hell was your third wish half your head is a frickin orange? Guy: It was a silly wish. I dot wanna say: Barman: Go on tell me, I’ll give you a drink. Guy: OK well for my third wish I wished that half my head was an orange.

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Guess what else smells like tuna!?! A dead tuna fish in a can

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven drove two planes into the world trade center.

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Roses are red, violets are blue my name is clearance, and i have to poo

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I asked her where you were.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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What did the cat say to the human? Nothing

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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A man walked into a pub, and enjoys of a couple off pints. Some time later he loudly asks the gentleman next to him: Do you know about this thing called Fightclub?... The bartender had to call an ambulance, you don't talk about fightclub

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

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Knock knock. Who's there- oh wait, I don't care. Get away from my house or I am going to call the police.

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Why did the gorilla leave the zoo? He didn't, he was released.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

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You know what they say about men with big feet? Big penis.

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What do you call an Interlochen Arts Academy Student with no talent? A comparative artist

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One time I masturbated by myself

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables

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Q Why is an octopus like a tree? A Haven't the foggiest.

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Women's rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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