A man walks into a bar After months of rehab he is giving in to his drinking abuse again and will ruin his life as well as his family

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whay did the monkey fall out of the tree? he was dead. why did the cat fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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So three Jews walk into a Biker Bar. Despite the fact that is was a self-proclaimed "Biker Bar", the group of men inside were in fact rather open-minded, and had no issues with new members. They had a rich conversation, and frequented the bar thereafter.

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How do you get a tower to move? Hit it with a plane.

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Whats is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite. Whats worse than a shark bite? The Holocaust.

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Whats red but smells like blue paint? Red paint

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, And I'm blind.

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Two muffins were in an oven. The first muffin says: 'It sure is hot in here!' The second muffin says: 'Why are they only cooking two muffins?'

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Why did the boy with cancer cross the road? He was hoping to get hit by a truck.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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So a blond is rowing a boat in the middle of the field. It turns out she was insane and was trying to escape from the sanitarium.

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Mini mouse was brutally killed n Oakland Now Mickey is a Chinese member of the crips in Compton Remember don't forget to see the new Disney movie, Mickey Goes Gang-Bangin

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Yo mama's so fat, she weighs over 400 pounds.

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-Why did the jewish man chase after the penny? -Because he's poor and needs to feed his starving family.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

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How many licks does it take to get to center of a tootsie pop? pickles, 7:00 pm, wood, shoulder pain

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what's brown and sticky? a turd.

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What do you call a black man standing on a sidewalk? Preferably race shouldn't matter in this situation, but in most social circumstances the man would be described as black to elucidate the person being depicted.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

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A man walks into a bar in the morning. He is the bartender, and he works there.

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What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

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when god gives you lemons, you find a new god!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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