a women picks up her phone and screams! There were 3 missed calls from her mother-inlaw

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A coyote walks into a bar, because human development has rapidly destroyed his natural habitat. He mauls three patrons.

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Q: how many oxen does it take to row up the empire state building in half of a green canoe under the purple sun while eating a dead moose with no arms? A: Purple, because snakes have no elbows.

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What's the bright side of Jimmy only having one leg? There isn't one.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot

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What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

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Why did the man give money to the Jew? Why would a man give money to a Jew?

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How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

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What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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so there was two ducks in a bathtub. one duck says to the other duck, "hey, can you pass me the soap? the other duck says no.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? New Kids on the Block. Wait, who?

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How do you fit 100 jews in a car? It wouldn't work.. Nevermind.

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Roses are grey, Violets are black, I have Alzheimer's, Barthtub.

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An american family is picknicking on the bottom of the ocean. They are eating french fries, big mac's, chicken mc nuggets and drinking coca cola, some slurpies too, all purchased at the local mac donalds near lyndon blvd, in chevy chase near that weird house with the toothless lady that always smiles and then all of a sudden frowns at you, often wearing either a dark green or mint green dress. Spongebob squarepants comes drifting by dead in circular pants and little Sally, their youngest daughter asks a question, which cannot be heard because they're underwater.

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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What did the cat say to the human? Nothing

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what is an antijoke? a type of comedy in which the joke ends in an antivlimax that it is funny in its own right GDS*

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

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Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

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What do you call a black guy in college? A student.

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What's worse than discovering a hornet's nest next to your house? Being raped.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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