A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked: "Why the long face?" The horse said: "My wife just died."

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If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who grants them three wishes. The brunette wishes to go back home. The redhead wishes to go back home too. The blonde misses her friends, so she wishes to go back home too.

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roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up, you retarded black poet!

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roses are blue violets are red dont judge me

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Where will you be in twenty years? Celebrating the twentieth anniversary of reading this question... unless you're older than 60, which by modern life expectancy, you'd be dead.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Why are black people afraid of tigers? Because tigers eat people

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because chad makes babies cry.

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What do you do when a bomb is exploding 2 inches away from you? You die.

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing, fruit can't talk.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter anyway because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

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What's worse than a bag of dead babies? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Jews.

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why did the drug dealer die... because he got terminal cancer and died during the first 3 weeks

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British Dentistry

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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cchina is communist the USA isnt WHY?

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i get knocked down, but i don't get up again. my leg is broken and therefore makes it extremely difficult for me to stand up on my own.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he is quite wealthy.

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Why did the weird, creepy old man in the beat up van give ice cream to the little girl? Because his company went bankrupt and as part of a court order, he was thereby forced to give away the remaining contents of his inventory to those who seeked it.

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Why did the man with seasonal allergies not take his medication? He had liver disease...read the fine print

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Roses are red Violets are blue Call the cops girl They can't unrape you

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Why did the man laugh? Because humans laugh when they hear a joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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