Q. What's silver and cries? A. Someone who's been stabbed while wearing a suit of armour.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Why did Alice cross the road? Because she wasn't funny. At all. So the people on the other side of the road asked her to do so.

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what's an advantage of breaking every bone in your body? nothing, you're screwed.

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How do you stop a black kid from bouncing on the bed? Put Velcro on the cealing.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "What'll it be?" The man quietly gazes out at the other people in the bar. He continues to do this for a while, until eventually the bartender calmly taps him on the shoulder to get his attention, and the man turns to look over at him. "What can I get you today?" He asks the man. "What?" the man replies. Turns out he's deaf. Who knew?

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How do you kill Helen Keller? With a gun.

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A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

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What's worse than dying in a car wreck with your family? You being the only one that dies.

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What is white and smells like wood? White painted wood

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was curious about something that had diverted his attention.

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Ruller

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Whats blue and flufft Answer: Blue Fluff

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Q: What is the difference between a tree and a women? A: your mom

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An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Viking are all fighting over a piece of land. The piece of land was the whole of England and this was the beginning of the Noman conquest in 1066.

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Tyler Bishop is a waffle

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There's a skunk and a lawyer standing on the side of the road, what's the difference? There are tire marks infront of the skunk.

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If life throws you melons, not only might you be dyslexic, but you are probably also uneducated, since the phrase is "if life gives you lemons".

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poetry Show me your titties

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeline McCann.

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How is it possible for a man to get raped? Easy. He lied.

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why did one crayon give another crayon the silent treatment? because they are crayons, unable to speak

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A boy askes santa for a baby brother. Santa says give me your mom.

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What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops