What do you call a bear in an elevator?...A fire hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a black man called Jermaine? Jermaine!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Excuse me sir, you wouldn't happen to have the time, would you?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How can you tell if a Mexican's gay? Ask politely.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

The child was fired from his job.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the guy go to the store? He really doesn't want you to know every detail of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How did the chicken cross the road? Chickens live in farms, they don't cross roads.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock knock Get off my porch.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call someone who thinks they're funny but in reality isn't? Adam chapali Knock knock Who's there? NOT adam chapali

thumb_up thumb_down +3

"Sh*t!" cursed the man. "You're such a potty mouth!" replied the unamused toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q:What did the goat die? A: I dont know everything dies

thumb_up thumb_down -19

If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

So a baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

7+5=12

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your dad is so fat, that eventually he got on Biggest Loser and ended living a very successful life.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A little boy uses a horrible curse against his classmate. The classmate is so angry he tells the teacher. The teacher is so astounded at the little boy's use of language he sends him to the principal. When the principal hears of the foul language he's so ashamed he calls the police. The police can't believe the little boy said such a bad word, they think he deserves to go to court. The court dates are set up. When the Judge hears of the hate words he can think of no other worthy punishment except prison until he turns 21. After the kid is let out he heads for the bar across town where all the ex-prisoners go. He orders up a drink, bartender asks "What'd you do?". The kid explains the curse to the bartender. The barkeep becomes so upset that he kicks the kid out of the bar. While crossing the street to go to another bar he gets hit by a truck. Whats the moral of the story? Look both ways before crossing the street....

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is black, white and red all over? An interracial couple that has been shot and murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call the child of a black male and an asian female? A child of mixed ethnicities.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

a man sees a monkey playing the drums at first he thought it waz the guy in the monkey suit that plays the drums but on closer inspection he sees that it is in fact a real monkey on that note he tries to befriend the monkey but the monkey soon tore the man into pieces

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Boy it's sure cold out today. Die

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what is orange and sounds like a parrot? an orange parakeet

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops