How do you stop your baby crawling in circles? Pick it up and smother it.

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What's the difference between 4 and 6? 2.

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What's worse than eating brussel sprouts? Getting raped by a brussel sprout.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a convicted rapist.

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Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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two men are having a conversation a third man walks what does he do? patiently waits as to not seem rude.

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Two women were sitting together, quietly.

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What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

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"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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Man: Did it hurt? Woman: huh? Man: Did it hurt when i killed your family?

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

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How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

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What is the difference between a baby and a tree? Its not illegal to hit one with an axe

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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What did the bully call the box? a square, needless to say the box was offended

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde go on vacation in Hawaii. They plan to swim to the next island. The brunette and redhead do it with no problem. The blonde swims halfway and realizes she is tired. She continues to swim straight ahead knowing her friends are already at the next island.

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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How is a frog similar to a corn dog? They both have really long tongues, except for the corn dog

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How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

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Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Why wasn't Justin Bieber allowed in the men's bathroom? It was closed for maintenance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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