Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck a poetry now show me your tits!!!

A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

What happened to thepeanut who went to NYC? He was assulted

What's not red? No tomatoes.

What's worse than having sex with a woman who has been dead for 10 minutes? Having sex with a woman who has been alive for 10 minutes.

Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.

You know what really pisses me off? When I drink too much coffee.

What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

My aunt said slow and steady wins the race....... She died in a fire

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Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

What do you call it when a black guy is talking to a white guy? A conversation.

What's normally shaped like a rectangle, and is so thin, it gives people cuts? Paper.

What did the orphan say to his parents? nothing

What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

Q: What is the proper name for a female dog? A: Well there could be several names it could be a name on the collar in which case please look for the number so it can be returned to its owner. Another possibility is that it is a stray which you should either run for it could have a disease and you should just forget about the name then or take it in as your own and name it.

Why was Joe afraid of Steve? Because Steve raped and killed all of Joe's three children two weeks ago.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

A whore walks in to a bar. She soon finds her John and they leave to his hotel room.

Why did John kill Maris? Because Maris killed his family.

A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because the weather report said there was a 90% chance of rain, and he didn't want to get his posh new coat wet on the way to the studio

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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