why do they call it history? Women didn't do shit

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What do you call a guy and two girls are at the bottom of the ocean? A guy and two girls at the bottom of the ocean.

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? Physical abuse.

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Oh," the boy says. "Well BUENOS DIAS to you too!!!

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic child.? DAMN

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One day a woman wrote a letter to her husband whom was at war. He received it, read it, and was happy to know she was thinking of him.

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Who's the slut of the alphabet? C.

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What was the pirates grade? Arrr That isn't a valid grade

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I what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I don't have 10 watermelons in my basement.

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what do u call a joke with no punchline? A joke with no punchline

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A guy named M.C. walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "wheres the food?" The bartender says, " its in your stomach."

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Why was Edgar sad at the swimming pool? Edgar had been taking swimming lessons for a few weeks, on a tuesday-thursday basis, and was not learning how to swim as well as he would have liked. His instructer, Ms. Herpina was also very rude and generally disrespectful to Edgar. As a result of him seeing the lack of progress, and his dislike of his teacher, one day he quit going to his lessons and went to the local Dairy Queen instead with his girlfriend, Susie. Little did he know, his mother had also gone out to buy him DairyQueen, as a celebration to him becoming better at swimming. When she saw him at Dairy Queen, she was very angry at her son, who had lied to her about going to that days' lesson, and had also lied to her about not having a girlfriend. After his mom told his girlfriend that they couldn't date, she took a distraught Edgar to their small apartment. Edgar had always hated this apartment, ever since the first day they moved in as a result from the lack of money to afford a nicer area. After his older brother David stole all that money from his mother to buy drugs a few years back, his life hasn't been the same. His mother was forced to move into an apartment with few luxories, and Edgar was constantly jealous of his friends at school, especially Jason, the dark haired boy who always bragged about how good he was at his PSP games. Edgar only wanted happiness for at least a little while, but was quickly forced back to the pool. He was embarassed at the fact that he couldn't swim, and all the popular girls at the pool were making fun of him. It had been a rough life for Edgar, and he was still only seven years of age. This, my child, is why Edgar was sad at the swimming pool.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What did the T-rex say to the velociraptor? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A painting with black, white and red paint.

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Roses are blue Violets are red Is that really What I just said?

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What did the guy day to the other guy with an afro on his head? You look like a guy with an afro on his head.

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What is red, blue, green, and pink, tie died, and alive? Nothing.

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Wht did noah7262 cross the road? to abandon his friends and play Modern Warfare 3 on xbox live. asshole.

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no im only tryin to keep it real like a broken peice of cheese.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Phil.

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Why do birds fly south in winter? Because its too far to go walking.

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what happened to the guy that got attacked by a shark he died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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