Why did the Mexican jump the American border? Because he wanted a better paying job to support his family, and legal immagration to the States is a lengthy and highly difficult process.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Sally go to McDonalds? Because she felt like it

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Three men are all in a car park and they all want the same parking spot. As it turns out, it was a trolley bay

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why could the red heading boy sing higher notes than the blonde headed boy? He was castrated at birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats wosre than stubbing your toe? being lost on a desert island being raped

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll probably just land back on earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is worse than being paralyzed from the neck down Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If you peel my skin off, I won't cry, but you will. What am I? A human being with a high pain threshold.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

chuck norris was shot yesterday... tomorrow is the bullets funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's green has eight legs, and would kill you of it fell on you from the top of a tree? A Billiard table

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +8

If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? A testicle

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How did the blind man cross the road? With the use of a cane and a registered seeing eye dog

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock Knock : F*ck im watching porn...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mom is such a slut she had sex with your dad on the very first night of their marriage!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops