Why was the woman sad? Because her son died.

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What do you call a dead, black child? Dead.

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Why aren't dragons real? Because if any animal were to breath fire (let alone have a gland that produced it), they would cease to live for their necks would scorch from the inside out.

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What did hitler do with the vegetarians? Nothing, because he was one.

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Your mom is so retard that she needs "special help" from medical professionals. :3 <33

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guess what what that wasnt it

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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If it looks like a chicken and acts like a chicken, its most likely not a deadly crab running towards you with a knife that has rabies and is afraid of towels.

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Why is the country in a national deficit? Because the Illuminati want to control all human beings in a socialist new world order.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile "robin, get in the batmobile"

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I america you read books. But in Soviet Russa, Books read YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

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How do you get a ninja to do a backflip? Ask him nicely.

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Sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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cool story babe. now go make me a sammich.

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a women. Statutory rape.

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Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and the Queen of England all jump out of a plane, which hits the ground first? Galileo's theory tells us that all objects fall at the same speed regardless of weight, so they all hit simultaneously.

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Why did the boy find love? because if the girl did not love her he would kill her

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how does a chinese chick check if she's pregnant? swallows a rubix cube and if it comes out solved shes pregnant

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What did the farmer say when he lost his pig? Wheres my Pig?

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when does lady gaga wake up? when she dreams about a bad romance

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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"Why did the clown fall off the swing" "he was shot in the face"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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