One muffin doesn't say anything to another muffin while baking in an oven because they lack the organs necessary to attain properties of speech and thought

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8===D

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what do you call aca that got pushed in a pool ? A WET PUSSY

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Why did the man have square fingers? Because he has Apert Syndrome

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How do magnets work?

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Whats green and can kill you when it falls from a tree? a pool table

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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Why was the Blonde Crying? -because she had just witnessed her infant get sucked through a jet engine and was very sad.

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your dad's gay. just let that sink in.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Yo mama is so so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell.

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I used to be able to walk, but then I took an arrow to the knee. It tore my acl and shattered my kneecap.

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what starts with P and ends with u-b-e-s? Paul, can you brang me some priangles and the rest of my Rubik's cubes?

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Q: What do you call a black woman who can't tell you who her baby daddy is? A: "Mam". Rape is a serious and painful crime, and the strength to raise a child on her own without her consent is worthy of respect.

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jordan godfrey is good looking lolololol

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Q: What is a African man with funny clothing and children straddling onto his back for dear life/ screaming in fear who only a few minutes ago before a particular incident made several young children cry and being chased by an authority figure? A: An intentionally inane circus performer partcipating in a scintillating rendition alongside his two children of who inadvertently frightened a small group of youth before he immediately decided to proceed by, during one of his extremely long, albeit few breaks, taking the members of his family on an interesting excursion to the nearby amusement park for occassional thrills. On the initial journey there, the black man, out of haste, accidentally dropped one of his children's most valuable toys of which elicited undeniably obnoxious bouts of sadness to come bursting out of his children's respective chests and an increased rate-of-travel for his wife of who accopanied him on his adventure and desired to assist him in his panic. In the spin of events, the man experienced an instance of hyper-activedness and spun out of control for a minute before eventually cooling down. Hence the screaming.

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how do you warm someone up? you set their house on fire.

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A mother with a bum hip and her son go to walk up a set of stairs in the mall. The floor was slippery because the janitor just mopped the floor. They decide to take the elevator instead.

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How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

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Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and suffered from a self-inflicted gunshot wound in his head, he is being treated by medical professionals

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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