A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

How did the soccer team win? They scored the most goals.

Why don't cannibals eat clowns? Clowns do not populate the area in which cannibals reside

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

What do you call a redneck in a propane store? A customer.

What do you have when you take the gun, badge and uniform away from a cop? A man in his underwear.

So there's this boy who really love clowns. His room is adorned with circus and clown posters and his one dream is to go to a circus and see a clown. One day he sees an ad in the newspaper for a circus that was headed toward his town. He begged and pleaded to his parents to let him go, and when they finally agreed he was ecstatic. The boy was in awe of all the things that the circus held, elephants, lions, tightrope walkers and trapeze artists, but there was nothing he was more excited for then the main show with the clowns. He took a seat and out came the clown on a unicycle. The boy was having the time of his life, when the clown suddenly called for someone from the audience. The boy immediately ran to the center of the stage. The clown asked the boy "Are you a horse's head?" then held the mic to the boy. "No," he replied. "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" The crowd erupted in laughter and the boy was mortified. He ran out of the circus tent and vowed never to return. He grew up with a hatred for clowns and even had to see multiple therapists. 30 years passed and the boy was now a man. The man looked in his morning paper, only to see that a circus was in town. He decided he would visit one last time. There it was, the elephants and tightrope walkers. And then he saw it, the same clown from 30 years ago in the same show. He walked up and the clown asked the same questions. "Are you a horse's head?" "No." "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No." "Then you must be a horse's BUTT!" Then man the took the microphone from the clown and said, "Screw you clown."

How do you divide 2574 by 23.5 WIth a calculator

Cole is "good" at soccer

What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

What happens when Chuck Norris jumps off the 3rd floor. He falls to the ground and hurts himself badly

Why didn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it made him mean.

What has a head but can't see? A penis.

-What's the worst part about killing a baby? -Probably either recieving the death sentence or living psychologically scarred in prison for life.

What is worse than getting a 30% on a test? Getting a 29% on a test.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because him and his girlfriend were in a bad relationship and he needed to get away for a while.

Hey i just met you & this is crazy but Nia and Goober Made a baby

what did the 35 year old man say when he walked in his home last night? Nothing, he started crying because he saw that someone had viciously killed his guinea pig.

what does a granny look best in? 1950

How is nothing something if it is nothing?...

Why do gingers have red hair? Its genetically encoded in their DNA

A child in Africa developed Malaria. He became very sick and died.

THE END.

nobody move, or i'll kill myself, then her!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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