Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme Refrigerator

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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a man walks into a bar, sits down, sighs and says, "i had the worst day ever." the bartender replies with, "worse than 9/11?" the man then says "well, 9/11 wasn't that bad."

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Why was the picture so dark? Because it was night time and there were no light fixtures located anywhere near where the photo was taken.

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If you're happy and you know it get a life

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Stop me if you heard this one before.

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what do you call an indian dating service? you dont call it anything there all arranged marriages.

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A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" the bartender asks. The horse kills everyone in the bar and stampedes the other horses into town.

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What did the monster under the bed say to another monster? I have the odd feeling that someone is on top of the bed.........

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A englishmen an irishmen and a ginger walk off a bridge gingers have no souls

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Why did the cat cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Your Mom

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Why didn't the man give a location of the murderer? He was murdered

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How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With floss.

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whats big, black and red all over? My mom when its that time of the month

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A horse walks into a bar The bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says nothing, because he's a horse The bartender soon relizes there is a horse in his bar, and calls animal control

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What did Santa do on Christmas? NOTHING HES NOT REAL!

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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why did the jew cross the road? He didnt. He got stuck in the wire fence.

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Why did the white girl fuck the mexican? Because her teacher told her to do an "essay"

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j

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What did the man with the knife say to the ostrich? Run or I'll stab you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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