A guy, arriving at the pearly gates of Heaven, asks St. Peter "Why did I die? Why me." St. Peter replies: "You died the same way everyone does. Lack of oxygen to the brain."

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dallen loves penis

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How do you get a jew out of an empty pool? Give him a lader

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A duck walks into a pharmacy and says to the man behind the counter, "Do you have any ointment? my beak is very chapped" the man replies "we have nothing for ducks here."

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What do a gas and a liquid have in common? Nothing

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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What happens when you wake a sleepwalker? Waking sleepwalkers does not harm them. While it is true that a person may be confused or disoriented for a short time after awakening, this does not cause them further harm. In contrast, sleepwalkers may injure themselves if they trip over objects or lose their balance while sleepwalking. Such injuries are common among sleepwalkers.

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69. Yeah- that's my street address.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The doorbell repair man.

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What is worse than adolf hitler? Justin beiber

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-Bumper Sticker- Honk if you love Jesus. (Text while driving if you want to meet him)

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Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

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A horse walks into a bar. Realizing the severity of the situation, the bartender heads toward the exit... stumbling over a chair.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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Why do i love this website? Because it is funny.

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Wanna hear a joke? no

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Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

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Why did george washington not make it to the prom? because george washington is dead

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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WANNA HERE A JOKE? (no, i purposely clicked in this joke website to simply here to fulfill my demonic internet pleasures.)

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Yo' Mama is so fat, her driver's license says, "picture continued on other side."

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What did the black guy say to the white guy running off the cliff? Watch out! You're running off a cliff!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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