Q: Why did the lady retire? A: Because she had been working for numerous years and felt that she needed to spend more time with her family.

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Q: Why did the plane crash into a mountain? A: The pilot was a tomato.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "I'm your dog. Please stop having sex with me on Chatubate."

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In Soviet Russia a lot of people were killed for voicing their opinion against Stalin

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A: What do you call a Jew with only one arm on Christmas? B: An amputee.

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My claustrophobia was cured by imagining that all small spaces were naked.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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why did the black person cross the road to get to his lynched sister

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Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

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Man#1: Who's John? Man#2: John is John. Who else do you want him to be? Why do you ask stupid questions? Are you naturally this dumb? Do you like the questions I ask? Man#1: (Turns away as he is deeply offended by the man who rudely answered his question.)

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Asians

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having a Hippo give you head.

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A muslim walks into a gay bar.

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a man and a boy walk into a dark scary wood. "gosh I'm spooked" exclaimed the boy. "you think you've got it bad?" said the man "I'm walking out of here alone"

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whats sad about a ton of blacks in a limo going off a cliff. they'll destroy the car

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a dog and a duck went out for a meal they both ordered lobster and enjoyed the night.

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Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

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Q-why did the dog run away? A-he was Michael vick's dog

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah!

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im jewish

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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Knock Knock ............... No one's home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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