An Englishman, an American, and an Australian walk into a bar. They speak English to each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

This is a haiku I said this is a haiku You read a haiku

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -4

So a guy gets drunk and walks into a gay bar by accident He then yells I LOVE PENIS!!!!! everyone yells oh yeaaaaaaaaaa

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Yolo: Your Oppurtunity Lies Upon...... oh, wait upon starts with a u... YOLU

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the jacket say to the girl? Zip me up wait why am I talking

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the man go to space? He was a highly trained astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

DO U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD BIRD BIRD, BIRD IS THE WORD? DON'T U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD? EVERYOBODY KNOWS THAT THE BIRD IS THE WORD! Oh, no i did not know that the bird was the word.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you make a little girl laugh. You tell her something funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man visits an anti joke site looking for some humor. realizing that its not funny, he closes the window.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: Where does Cher sit? A: I have no idea.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Matrix if it had been with (as planned at some stage) with Will Smith. Normal Neo: Yes trinity lets find the others. Smith Neo: Yo pretty lady, lets go find them ho`s and chicken and stuff, then we can like go surfin and driving nuts and all that crackin stuff and then we etc etc. Normal Neo:... Smith Neo: You tellin ME this is your world Smith? Im Anderson yo and the one, Im gonna bitchmack you all and then just whoop you all with my master blaster no kidding buddy I have yellow belt Kung fu yo! Neo: We have to do something. Smith Neo; Yo unless we make a real rap video first we cant do the proper stuff you, why is this place all so green, get some colaaas! Seriously first we get carlton and then he dances his crazy dance while I go boyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ with my rap ok?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what worse then stepping on a lego? watching your son kill your wife

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did it say in the end of the book? The End.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the kitten die? Because your mom is gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

your mother is so fat that she bought a treadmill and uses it daily. she already lost 20 lbs.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Brians mother always told him to reach for the stars. He died the next morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops