A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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A African americia and a Hispanic are in a car, who's driving? The police man

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What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

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whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

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Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, Oh damn I'm blind.

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Why was the picture so dark? Because it was night time and there were no light fixtures located anywhere near where the photo was taken.

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Why did a black man toss a bowl into the air? Because he just got it from the microwave and it was extremely hot.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who, Your Doctor, you have 5 months to live

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Women's rights

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are unintelligent creatures of instinct, and can tell no significant differences between the pavement and the road. It was unfortunate that a bus was speeding past at the moment this event happened.

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What did the little boy with diabetes get for Christmas? A shot of insulin; just like every other day.

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i know leaves are green because of chlorophyll but i don't know how to get a mortgage this is the kind if shit your parents pay for

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Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? He's not doing anything, sir. He's dead.

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2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

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What Makes Me Smile? Face Muscles.

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What did the convicted pedophile do to the ten year old boy? He molested him.

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What can you eat that comes in all different flavors. Chex mix, I bet you thought it was women but its not its chex mix

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The street outside of my house is covered in jelly. I have done this.

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Why did the man walk up to a bank teller with a gun? He is the security guard; he wanted to ask her for financial advice.

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A man walks into a bar. He asks for a beer. One of the bar tenders twlls him they are all out. He takes out his gun. He has 1 bullet and there are 3 bar tenders. He wants to kill them all. What does he do? A: Shoots 1 and pegs bricks at the other two.

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Why was the kid crying? Cause he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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