What is the difference between an Irishman and a plank of wood? Almost everything, including anatomy, chemical make up, mass etc

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Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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What did one cow say to the other? Moo.

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Why did the man throw his alarm clock out the window? Because he has anger management issues.

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Why is the sky blue? As the light from our Sun shines into the atmosphere, most of the colors are able to reach the Earth’s surface uninterrupted. However, because blue light has a wavelength that is the same size as the particulates in the air, this light is scattered in every direction. This blue light bounces from particulate to particulate until it eventually reaches your eyes. For this reason, no matter what direction you look in the sky, it appears to be blue. This blue light originated with the Sun, was bounced around in the sky many times, and then eventually reached your eyes.

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Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

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What does Ke$ha feel like when getting up in the morning? Shit because she has a nasty hangover.

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Why could susan not get up? Because her limbs were hacked off by a African militia group.

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Q: What happened to the dog when he eat the banana? A: he got raped by a monkey...

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Whats worse than cold feet? getting your feet chopped off.

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Why was lady crying? Because her ten yer old son died of cancer..

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what did the teacher say to his student? do your work.

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why did the 14 year old girl cross the road? to get an abortion of the child she became impregnated with after getting raped.

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What do you call an Ethiopian with buck teeth? Lucky to have teeth.

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Who got sarah pregnant? No one knows. She was a whore.

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why did the fat guy become fat ...COD..

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Do you know why Justin Bieber is so successful? Because he is a talented dancer-singer who was lucky enough to be discovered by pop music icon Usher.

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What was going through the minds of the Sandy Hook victims? Bullets.

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What is worse than finding a real joke on Anti-joke.com? Starving children in Africa.

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What do you call a bunch of black people in a red car.... A jaffa

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A couple arrive at a Halloween party for nudists. Then they enjoy the themed decor and food.

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Do you know what color comes after 9?

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what did the 35 year old man say when he walked in his home last night? Nothing, he started crying because he saw that someone had viciously killed his guinea pig.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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