Hey, are you 5? Ya I am 5 inches deep in your MOM!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running from its imminent death. It was being chased by a dog with a shark's head and chainsaws for legs. It was only delaying the inevitable.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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Your mother is so fat that her body takes up more space than the average woman.

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what's the difference between ya mum and a cow? nothing. by mad james

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There's an American, an African, and a Chinese walking down the street. Because the bar is down there.

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What's the difference between a gay white man and a gay black man? Nothing because they are both sexually attracted to men.

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What is small, black and has 18 legs? A centipede with 82 legs cut off.

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There were two friends, a girl and a boy. The girl had a ribbon tied to her neck, and every day the boy asked her why, yet she'd never tell him. They grew up together, and fell in love and still, she wouldn't tell him why she had the ribbon on her neck. They got married, and grew old, and still she wouldn't tell him. But one day, she said to him 'I'll show you why I keep this on my neck' and she took it off and her head fell off.

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How did the mermaid break her arm? She fell out of a tree.

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Josh is sooo great at blowing, xoxo Dylan Hodge.

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What's the difference of 13 and 4? 9

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Do you know what would happen if you were to like this Anti-Joke? ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... I would get another like.

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What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

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What's blue? The sky.

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how do you make a cow float Give it 10000 balloons

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Why did the man wipe his bum with a sweat-shirt? Because they were all out of toilet paper

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Dr.Octagonapus.... BLAAAAAArGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jackalope :)

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Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

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Why can't Billy ride a bike? Because he's a fish

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Why did the baby stop crying? I shot it with a 9mm pistol and put it in the microwave because it cried while I was watching Sienfeld.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Why? Because his house was burning down on the other side

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What's big and juicy and liked to be sucked by women? A penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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