A panda walks into a bar... Psht. Panda in a bar, that's impossible.

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What did the falling bridge say to the other bridge? Well bridges can't talk but if it could it, then it would say AHH! I am falling

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?" The horse cannot understand what the bartender said and instead finds it threatening, so it has a complete spasm and wrecks the whole bar.

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A woman walks into a bar She is raped.

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So, a giraffe walks into a bar and orders six martinis and shame on for wanting a punch line this giraffe needs help.

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A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

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why did the women give her sister a present because it was her birthday

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Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a PS3? Michael was a succesful dancer, singer-songwriter, musician, and philanthropist, whereas a PS3 is a games console.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies. What's worse than a pile of dead babies? One baby is alive in the middle. What's worse than that? He is eating his way out...

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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Why did George smoke weed? Because he was depressed after his wife died and couldn't get over the fact that he would be lonely forevermore.

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Top Gear USA

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An Asian walks into a bar, but the bartender asks him to leave the bartender replies "we're closing soon" but he secretly harbored racist views that he had not yet come to terms with and was deeply ashamed of.

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Why can't you tell jokes in Base 8? Because 7, 10, 11

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What do you call something green and fuzzy? Grass, I lied about the fuziness.

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Give me thumbs up!

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The girl was really drunk and passed out. She woke up the next day with a hangover.

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What's the difference between tires and a black guy? Tires don't scream once there are chains around them. ;)

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Why did the black man cry? He was grieving the death of his brother C.D

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Whats the worst thing about walking through a meadow of dead babies My boner

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Person 1-How do you spell pulmonary embolism? Person 2-P-U-L-M-O-N-A-R-Y E-M-B-O-L-I-S-M. Person 1- Thanks. Person 2- Your Welcome.

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What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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