whats green and smells like red paint? green paint

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? The orgasm.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

whats super and the champions of europe? Leeds United

thumb_up thumb_down -3

God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Grease is the word that you heard it's got groove it's got meaning

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Of course, first door on your left

thumb_up thumb_down +28

"hey" said an elephant to another elephant... "why can I talk?" the other elephan did not reply because it is normal and cannot speak or understand the first elephant. And a man near by thinks he's dreaming so he strips down and runs around naked to be tazed on his left testicle an the. Falls into the crocodile enclosure. But they pay no attention because they are docile after being in the zoo so long. But he did land on his balls and is crying.

thumb_up thumb_down -120

Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's clear on the outside and grey on the inside? An elephant in a plastic bag.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

whats worse than killing someone? finding out your mom is your dad

thumb_up thumb_down +23

That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how do you make a blonde snowman? hollow out the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What is blue and feels like fluff? Blue fluff

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mother is so fat, she is dying due to obesity and it would be utterly disgusting to make fun of anyone in that situation.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the chicken cross the road? i don;t know, that's why i was asking you

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why did tom drop his ice cream he didn't because he had no icecream

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Three Jews are hiding under the floorboards. One of them makes and noise and they are promptly found by the invading German soldiers. They are all shipped to Aushwitz where two of them are sent directly to the gas chambers where they are killed. The third Jew survives the Holocaust and is eventually liberated by Allied forces. He returns to his country only to find his house burnt to the ground. With no money or food, he starves to death by the side of the road and his body is eaten by various animals.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two flatfishes swam in a bathtub.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what does a black car sound like when it starts? RUN-NIGGA-NIGGA-NIGGA-NIGGA -GRANT PARK ALL THE WAY

thumb_up thumb_down -26

knock knock who's th...AIDS.....

thumb_up thumb_down -9

"Doctor do i have aids?" asked the worried 13-year old.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops