Whats the difference........ Between a duck?

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What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

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Arrow to the Knee

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What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

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What's the difference between a horse and a unicorn? Horses are real.

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What goes in long and hard and comes out soft and sticky? Chewing Gum

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What did the man with Alzheimer's get for Christmas? Happy New Year!

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What do you call Magic Johnson in a wheel chair? A tragedy, especially considering his past struggles with HIV.

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why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

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Why are they called waiters? Because you got to wait for them for a fucking long time. Why do they call you a patient. Just so you wont get impatient, if you do you are no longer a patient and they will ignore you.

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who drinks pee? katness

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What is a quicker way to transfer money than electronic banking? Keeping it on one's person and getting mugged for it, or else handing it over in a mutual deal.

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whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket in disguise

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Why was the woman convicted or arson? She set her house on fire. Why did she set her house on fire? Her husband was beating her.

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What did the father tell his son who was caught stealing from the teacher? --The father didn't say anything because he walked out on his family when the children were born.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette was stranded on a deserted island. A genie appeared and said nothing, because genies doesn't exist

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what did Shivank say to Ricky? "you suck dick" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

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roses are red violets are blue get down your trousers cause im waiting for you

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i committed murder

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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Why did the egg crossed the road? If X = chicken and C = the speed of light, then 2 to the power of the road which is 12 feet across times X/C = egg

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What is pink, female and has two dicks? A mother with two sons, both called Richard.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're daughter has terminal cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops