What kinds of children go to heaven dead ones

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Q: What did the teacher say at the end of recess. A: "Recess is over."

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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Isn't a coincidence that the signing of the Declaration of Independence and the 4th of July are on the same day? Weird

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What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

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What's funnier than seeing a baby falling from the empire state building? Stopping his speed with a shovel

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What's hard when you eat a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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Knock Knock. Knockin on Heavens door, oh hey come in

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This made my day: The Japanese verb "to drink" is "nomimasu". [L]

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Colin Fry backwards is yrF niloC

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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A horse enter a bar, and the barman says: "why the long face?" The horse has cancer

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A black man has 100 problems. on his AP calculus test.

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Ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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This sentence is a lie.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because, 32!

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has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

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I was going to post some witty jokes, but then I realized they weren't funny.

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus is? Trying not to laugh.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A penguin in a blender.

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Helen got hit by a bus. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Helen!!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

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What makes Amish bread different than regular bread? It's made by Amish people

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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