roses are red vilotes are blue i thought i was bent but then i met you

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I came home from my doctor`s appointment today, I told my sister that I was diagnosed with The Super rare "Spontaneous Erections Syndrome" (S.E.S) a very rare disease that can seriously impair the victims life in general, especially the social life, as symptoms may show themselves even among friends, pets, grandmas, enemies, and even close family! She told me that everybody knows I a just a kinky pervert with bulge so big it scared girls away instead of attracting them. Excuse me, what the hell is patient confidentiality good for if my doctor is going to call my sister and tell her everything she said to me afterwards?!

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What do you call a boy with one eye and no arms. -Mean names.

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Q:What do you call a wizard who flies? A: A flying wizard.

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Whats black white and red all over? A decapitated panda.

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What do you get when you cross a man, with Alzheimers disease?

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being raped What's worse than being Raped. Being Raped 2 times by a Giant Scorpion.

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I popped my head over my sexy neighbour's fence today to see her lying in her bikini. "Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR." "Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?" "No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

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A horse walks into the bar and says "why the long face?" The bartender replies "hey! I was supposed to say that!"

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Why wasnt the black man entitled to a social welfare cheque? Because he made quite good money at a nearby hospital, where he worked as a doctor

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what do u call a long dik gay guy Gay Dickerson

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What did the 11 year old boy get for christmas? A wet dream

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Whats worse than dying? Nothing.....?

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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My Japanese girlfriend just broke up with me. It's okay, there's more of them in the sea.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are red Viloets are unicorns this? doesn't make sense Refridgeator

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how do you make a plummer cry? you kill his family

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Why do all the Republicans hate Obama? He's a Democrat.

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How do you kill a dead baby? You can't, it's already dead.

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You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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