Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape his burning car wreck.

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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i killed my family

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Who did the Vampire bite? No one because vampires aren't real.

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why was 6 afraid of 7?

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Why does a snake have eyes? To see!

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Shoulda had a V8 ...or not because I am severely allergic to tomato's.

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Whats blue and flies? A suffocating baby strapped to a fan.

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What's more funny than 10 dead babies in the bottom of a trash can? 1 dead baby in the bottom of 10 trash cans...

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Once upon a time a homeless man was walking down the street. He stopped suddenly and realized he didn't know how to read. So he walked to the library to find someone to teach him. A woman was sitting at one of the tables so the homeless man walked up to her and asked, "Can you teach me how to read?" The woman stared at the homeless man for a few moments. Then she replied to him saying, "Not until you take a bath." Realizing that he smelled awful and that his face was covered in dirt he nodded towards the woman and left to go find a shower house. The homeless man came upon a hotel and asked the receptionist, "Excuse me sir, may I take a shower here?" The receptionist gave the man a long hard look and said, "Not until you find a better set of clothes." The homeless man looked at himself and saw that his clothes were quite old and worn out so he left the hotel to find a clothing store. He finds a clothing store and asks an employee, "Sir, may I have a new shirt, pants, socks, shoes and a pair of underwear?" The employee quickly said in reply, "Not until you pay for them." The homeless man remembered that he indeed was poor and didn't have a penny to his name. So then he walks out of the store to go find a job and make some money. He happens across a storage facility moving many heavy boxes. He walks up to the supervisor and asks, "Pardon me sir, do you need any help with moving these boxes? If you can pay me a few dollars I will help you." The supervisor said to him, "Sure, start moving them to that unit in the corner there. So the homeless man worked until dusk, made $55 dollars, went back to the clothes store, bought new clothes, waked back to the hotel and took a shower, and finally walked over to the library where the woman was still sitting and learned how to read. He walked out of the library feeling accomplished and full of pride. Unfortunately he wasn't paying attention to where he was walking. He slipped on the curb into traffic and was hit by a car, dying on impact.

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You know what they say about women with really big feet? They actually don't say anything.

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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy almost unparalleled in marine history.

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Kirstie Alley is soooo fat! How fat is she? Well, she's so fat that she's in grave danger of developing heart disease, and death

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Student: This guy is bothering me! Teacher: And you expect me to do something about it?

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What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

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What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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What's worse than bombs? Nukes

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What's worse than a completely overused anti-joke punchline? The Holocaust.

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There are too many 20 year olds getting pregnant. Teenage pregnancy is ruining our society!

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Your mom is so fat that her Body Mass Index is 30,?which is considered obese, she should really try to lose some weight.

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Two elephants are walking down the street. They have already killed 12 people including 11 children and their foster parent.

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A blonde walks into a bar therefore her face hurts

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Rylan Clark

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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