Axel? Its Eliza, is that you? You alive again? I don't want to be no successor of anything, but thanks I guess. Neo-Nero has not shown up since you returned, I think he isn't very proud of himself and wont be a problem here on forward. He did push me aside, but now that you are alive, I wont even consider the thought of you "dying again" and unless you are dying or seriously ill, I don't want to hear anything about it. Seriously, how bad are you doing? Physically I mean? I am relieved, I mean we all thought you where dead.

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Why couldn't the teen go to the prom? He was busy working to help his mom recover from breast cancer.

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Yo Mamma

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender. How do you get them out? Well you shouldn't. Leave the car in front of somebody that you hate's house.

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God made Coke God made Pepsi God made me, Oh so sexy

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What is the key to a good anti-joke? A disappointing or intellectual punch-line said in a calm and passive tone.

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what did the blond do when her house was on fire? she called the fire department, because that would be the correct thing to do in such a situation.

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shoe and shoelace. one is meaningless without the other

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Whats worse than finding a bad anti-joke on this website? Dieing of Genital Warts

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Why did Hellen Keller masturbate with her left hand? Because her right hand was tired.

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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knock knock who's there ?? the police now get out !!

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Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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Why do jews have big noses? Because the air is free!

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Sarah Palin

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what can you give to a millionaire to make him happy? sex

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? Yes.

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead!!!!

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Indians

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Der Ter-Rerks, nern ter serrentersts ers "Terernerserers Rerks", wers er dernerser dert lerved ern der Certersers perrerd. Ert wers er mert erter, prering ern smerler, plernt-erterng dernersers serch ers herdrersers ernd serrerperds. Ert erser hernterd der herned herberver Tersererterps, werd erverderns erf ferts ferned ern der ferserlersed rermerns.

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there was a Black and Mexican in a car who was driving? the cop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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