What did the teacher say to the student who stepped on a rusty nail? You have to go to the Nurse's Office to get a band-aid- I don't have any.

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Steve is an average man. He has a good life, is married and has 2 kids. So why did he have his dog put down? Because it was hit by a car and had 21 broken bones and was in severe pain. Steve thought putting it down was the best thing to do.

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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what did you call a downer in the medieval times? spazalot

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

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Why did the boy drop his iceccream?? He got hit by a bus??

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top kek

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What's worse than falling on concrete? Being eaten by futuristic mutant trees in a volcano

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Why did the boy trip over the garden gnome? He didn't trip. He died of a burst artery.

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When one person has an imaginary friend, you call it being crazy. But when more than one person has the same imaginary friend, you call it religion.

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The president is invited to a party at Bill's house. Suddenly the house catches on fire. Who survived? No one, they all died.

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a cow walked into a bar and asked for a large whiskey on the rocks, 'long day, eh' said the barman, 'yes' replied the cow, 'first a large moving obstical was cutting down my food, and then my friend was raped from his milk.'

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Whats worse than finding a bad anti-joke on this website? Dieing of Genital Warts

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went to mass. remembered to say with your spirit.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? -She had no arms *Knock Knock* Who's there? -Not Sara!

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On Tuesday mornings at 7:32 a.m., what is the square root of 31? I don't know, because it would be an irrational number of which is not possible to calculate without the aid of a calculator. However, the date and time would not affect the answer.

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Why was little Mat petting his dog? Just kidding his dog died in a house fire... so did little Mat

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Why did the cop pull over the car full of black people? Because, they were going 65 in a 35 mile per hour speed limit zone, Which is against the law.

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How's your mum? she's dead..

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Yo mama's so fat that she has AIDS

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Why did the man eat a human heart? Because he was part of a dangerous, religious cult.

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A man walked into a bar. Ow!

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What is black and hangs on a rope next to a rebel flag in my back yard? A tire swing for my redneck kids to swing on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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