Why did billy have a bruse? Because he got smacked with a belt. -Louis

thumb_up thumb_down -15

where did little Suzie go after the bomb went off? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the butler say to the guest while his master is in the bathroom? Butler: "Sir, will you wait while the Master bathes?" Guest: "How long will he be, I'm quite busy!" Butler: "He shouldn't be long sir, he should be finishing up now."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' Thats fantastic for Peter Piper

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock Knock whose there brian Brian who oh because im chinese you assume my second name is Hu? terribly sorry theres been a misunderstanding, i was asking you surname, i should have been more specific! No it my fault, i dont know why i overreacted my second name is Hu its ok, what can i do for you? is it allright to come in for some noodles? are you paying? only a reasonable price ok then, dont see why not

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't: 9 was a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why girl die cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what purple and jolly barney who doesnt love his charactorial warmth!# not weird

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A doctor walks into a bar. It's his day off and decides to celebrate after a long week of working.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the chicken say to the black guy? Nothing, humans and chickens can not communicate.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How did the Nazis torture someone? They inserted a glass tube in the penis and flicked the end so that it shattered.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock knock Who's there Done Done who? Done with waiting out here, let me in you dick!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is the difference between a duck? It can neither ride a bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink and then goes home and beats his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Where do 4 Mexicans in a car go? In the Car Pool lane.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the T-Rex so bad at math? Cause it was stupid

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Why did Mary fail to consume her breakfatst? Because Suzy has a history of bi-polar disorder as well as anorexia.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How many Jews can you fit in an oven? None, it's illegal.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's dirtier than an ice cream cone rolled in dirt? The dirt it was rolled in.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Look at the statement immediately below. Look at the statement immediately above. Hahaha! You cannot read this text! Therefore, the following joke fails to qualify as a joke and is therefore an anti-joke by virtue of constitution: Yo mama!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo momma's so fat, she had a heart attack and is currently hospitalized.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops