roses are red, violets are blue, get on your knees ho, and stick to me like glue.

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A: Knock Knock B: Whos there A: Orange B: Orange who A: Arent you glad i didnt say chair

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Why didn't the black man have a job? He was only in first grade.

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Why do Jews fast for Yom Kippur? It's part of their tradition.

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Knock knock Who's there? Brittney Spears Brittney Spears who? Knock Knock Who's there? Opps I did it again.

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How did the man get arested? For doing something leagle.

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Call me Ishmael. Or don't. Well, you can, but I'm not forcing you. You could call me Steve or Bob, it's not really that important. I'm just around here anyway to tell about a huge white dick. A whale dick. A SPERM whale dick. Never mind. Or the guy whose obsessed with it. No, it's not what it sounds like. He just wants to stab it with his harpoon. Wait, that sounds even worse. Whatever. Anyway, call me Ishmael...

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A man walks into a clothing store, he calls his wife, buys a shirt, and leaves.

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anti jokes are like chickens. they arent funny at all. which makes them funny...

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Man: Hey girl for a minute there I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but now I realize that I am very much alive, and that heaven has been brought to me. Girl: No actually you were right the first time we are both dead right now.

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what's the black mans shirt made out of? cotton

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What has 17 eyes, 43 toes, 11 feet and, 9 heads? A 17 eyed- 43 toed- 11 footed- 9 headed monster.

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what do an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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What is in the center of our galaxy? Some stars, space, and nebula.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

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How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

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Q: What does the fox say? A: Nothing. Foxes cannot talk.

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You have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars. You both have the same amount of money.

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how do you french braid? ask a french dude to braid your hair DUHH

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So there are two skunks in a bath tub. One of the skunks says to the other, "Would you please pass the soap?", and the other skunk says, "What do you think I am, a talking radio?!"

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I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a completely legit reason dumbass

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Two cows are in a field. One says to the other, "are you worried about this mad cow disease that's going around?" The other replies, "I'm not worried - I'm a squirrel."

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Whats the difference between a horse and a snake? A snake is poisons, a horse is not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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