What sound did the man make? Splatt. He fell off a building.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for water. The bartender asks,"How would you like to pay?" And do you know what he said? "Charge it to the game."

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How do you unload a truck full of dead babies? With a pitch fork.

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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Whats the next Line? YAH YAH YAH YAH YAH....

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? If you need an electrician to screw in a lightbulb, you're a moron.

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I woke up today

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What happened to the guy that got shot? He fell down

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Did u think that last joke was funny? Well this one isnt

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Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? Perhaps he was doing a project on tree-life.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other is a baby.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer Roses are red

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Your mother is so fat.... I am happy to see her join our exercise group.

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what does rhinoceros and tomato have in common? Neither one can ride a bicycle.

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A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is pretty messed up!

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What's the deal with airplane food? Why don't they serve it as a complimentary part of the flight anymore?

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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We have a 24hr fitness center...it is open from 6 to 11

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What has two legs, but can't walk? Half a dog.

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Your mama is so white she helped pay for your education because she wants you to have the best opportunities in life.

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Lets just say that we are beyond the stage where I am "just" trying, by the way, you might want to search that last comment for double negatives. Or you know NOT NOT. Do not take my word for it, but if I am not wrong, the bacteria (yogurt) leaves afterwards, so you are eating milk that has been eaten and then.. You know... A common "side effect" of hypnosis, is that when it is used, the one hypnotized (both in this case) end up feeling a "strange" case of closeness, stronger bonds, friendship etc, scientists wonder why... ITS LIKE DUH! WE BOTH REVEAL DEEP SECRETS TO EACH OTHER! THINGS WE DO NOT EVEN USUALLY TELL OURSELVES! Its a literal no brainer, scientits can go fuck themselves, because as far as I know, thats the only fuck they ever get.

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3 out of 4 questions. The lion king was holding a meeting and every animal was there except for one. What animal wasn't there? The elephant. It was still in the fridge.

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Where's the best place to buy moon bars? Michael Toal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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