You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose... But that's disgusting.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family

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Q. what's red and smells like blue paint A. a dead baby in a trash can beside a foster home

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Whats plastic and phonie a phone

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Q: Wgat do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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Wanna hear a joke about a baby with AIDS? It never gets old.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody cause your a loser.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger at Terminator: Gaynysis (or whatever I wont bother checking that out) YA NEED TO REMUV THE QUANTANAMO TRANSLACATOR TO RELOCALIZAYSEE THE INTERDEEMENENTIONAL MAYTREX! Yes, Pops but what about the time travel Paradox? YOU NEEED TO REMOV THE CRISTAL PALARDOXAL WARCALIBREITOR IN ORDA TO DESINSTONYSE THE DEEMENTIAL CORDALOXEY! Me: *Leaving the cinema* Moral: If you thought the trailer was like "meh", then you will soon realize it was the best part off the movie... The only part that is meh, and while I can honestly say I dont understand shit about how timelines work in Terminator (The creators dont do it either) Having Arnold Fucking Swartsnigger go with the Geek lingo DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! To explain things to me, NOTHIIIIING!

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umm idk what joke to write down so yea and so rate this a thumbs up! okay bc this is an awesome joke...right right right yea ik!

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers but at least i do not have Alzheimers

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What's black and white and red all over. An interracial suicide pact.

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Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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Sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses. Unless they are next to the trashcan where you put your little sisters diapers

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Carlos was on the computer writing anti-jokes. They all scuked.

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what's black and blue and has red all over it? A dead body ^_^

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Stop. Seriously stop.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

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Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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Help, this is an urgent message from the S.S. Obesity. We're sinking; I can't imagine why.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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