Turn around.

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Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Q;what do you call a fish with two knees and personally HANDS out JOBS A: a blowfish

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Did you see Stevie wonders house? Neither did he.

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do you want to hear a joke?

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What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. He was upset and didn't really feel like talking.

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what did the surfer do on his computer? browse the internet

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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a fat man eats porkchops all day ling shit a just craped my pants

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Knock Knock: There is no one in here! GTFO! Okay, yes sir or mam Moral: I told you there is no one here, gtfo already!

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Why did the pineapple cry? It didn't, because it's a pineapple.

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What did the fish say when it hit the wall? "Dam."

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What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

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whats red bubbly and looks out of a windo? a baby in a mocrowave

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Knock Knock Whos there? Opportunity

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Three monkeys are sitting in a tree. Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? -He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? -He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? -Peer pressure.

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What does a ghost get when he watches porn? A boner

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What's yellow and smells like piss? Urine.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

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why did the 1st koala fall out of the tree ? it was dead why did the 2nd koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by the first koala why did the 3rd koala fall out of the tree ? it thought it was a game why did the 4th koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by a fridge why did the 5th koala fall out of the tree ? it was inside the fridge

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Why did Lil wayne decide to be a rapper? Because he would earn a very large amount of money and fame.

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What was the babies first word? Nothing: It was a still-born.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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