What's the best part of having a doctor for a best friend? The sex.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He's dead now.

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And if a chicken had wings it wouldn't bump it's butt when it landed.

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Q. What is black and nobody cares when they step on it? A. Asphalt

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What did Washington say to his men before they got into the boat? Men, get in the boat!

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What's worse than dropping your sandwich. Dying of pancreatic cancer.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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LeBron James proposes. So what does he put on the girls finger? Ben L.

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Why can no one in africa read or write? I would asume the lack of public education combined with the fact that setting up an education system for so many widespread remote comunities would be a logistical nightmare. But then again I have never been to africa and know little about the country and so the premise of this joke is probably a dramatic overstatement in the first place.

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What's funnier than Man on Woman domestic abuse? Nothing.

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Why did the girl fall of her bike? Because she got hit by a fridge!

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A man is sitting at a bar. He stands up and goes over to these bikers playing pool. He then walks over to the bartender and says "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can pee in that bottle over there." The bartender looks at the bottle and sees there is a good five meters between the two. The bartender then agrees. The man takes out his penis and begins to pee. His pee stream goes everywhere on the bar, on the cash register, and espicially on the laughing bartender. It goes everywhere except inside the bottle. The man finishes and zips his pants. He then smiles at the bartender while handing him three hundred dollars. The bartender asks "why are you laughing you lost three hundred dollars?" Which the man replies "See those bikers by the pool table laughing?...I bet them five hundred dollars each that I could pee on your bar, on your cash register, and on your face and you would laugh and be happy." The bartender then reached under his bar and toke out his bat. He then continued to break the mans knees and then perceeded to pee on his bruised and battered face.

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Your mom is so stupid she has trouble holding a steady job and struggles to support her family.

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand. thats impossible, because nature says that ducks cannot walk.

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What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

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Q.)What did the man say to the toilet A.) Hi Jon

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Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is concerned about his fitness and decided to walk to work instead of drive.

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Why couldn't Jack and Jill climb the hill? Because they were bagels.

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That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

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HOREY SHIT!! OMFG!! I win? Yeah I think so.. Wait. Why am I talking to myself.. Aww not again.. My doctor warned me about this.. D:

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Sally went to an R-Kelly concert what happend when she came out? No one because R-Kelly peed on sally and cops came in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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