The president, Oprah and Abraham Lincoln are sitting in a crashing airplane. lol

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?"i'm so turned on right now." - horny light bulb

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A duck walks into a bar he buys a drink and says To the bartender "Put it on my bill." the duck is charged With $800.

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Whats the difference between ice cream and dead babies? I'm not eating ice cream right now.

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Popsicles

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says, I'm sorry but you have about four to six months to live. The man goes home and checks his million dollar life insurance policy.It expires in three months.

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Q: What did the man with no arms and no legs receive for Christmas? A: Cancer

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What did the fat man do when someone told him he was fat? He kept eating, for he was deaf.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a penis and a knife choose which one goes in you.

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What's worse than 10 babies in one trash can? One baby in 10 trash cans.

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What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? Nothing, cause he didn't make it till Christmas...

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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What does it mean if you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars? You both have five dollars

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I was just thinking in something I swear ... I am still Just, wait, i'll be good

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You know that song "FIrework" by Katy Perry? Well, I ate a hotdog last night.

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Shit I forgot to put the slash. Thang god for google

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A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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What did one prostitute say to the other prostitute? I'm dying of AIDS

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Why did the armless girl fell off the swing? Because somebody pushed her. Why did se fell again? Because somebody pushed her again.

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Dear Anti Jokes> A black guy walks into a bar...He says hey u Idiot Gimme that Root Beer.. Tony Fast says IDIOT U GET OUTA HERE RIGHT NOW!Black women gets a gun and shoots his son... Tony Fast says im callin the cops on u then they kill alll. And they got hit by a bus. By TobyTurner

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Stevie wonder walks across the road without looking both ways.

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What do a fish and a car have in common? They are both edible.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

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how do you get a happy man to stop smiling? hit him in the face repeatedly untill he is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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