Roses are red Violets are black Why is your chest as flat as your back?

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Why did the spider cross the road? He was stuck to the bottom of my shoe!

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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What's funnier than New York City? ADAM STOCK! By Logan in South Dakota

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Whats Stupider than john? Nothing.. he's certifiably retarded

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Knock,Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you going to let me in?

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what do you call a man with cheese on his face? cheese face

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Knock Knock Who's there??? Your mom

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the danced cus they were young, they danced cus they were free, but mostly the danced cus they needed to pee

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What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

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What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

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Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

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what did the old man say to the older man? "hey".

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Skrillex.

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A man walks into a Norfolk pub. The landlord (not being very worldly) notices he is of Middle Eastern descent and asks "are you Bin Laden"? To this the man replies "No I bin Swaffham". (Needs to be said in Norfolk accent)

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Knock Knock Who's there

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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What do cats eat for breakfast? Cat food.

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Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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what did spiderman say before he saved mary jane? ill save you mary jane.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? UPS.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was feeling suicidal due to an existential crisis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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