I used to make references to characters in Skyrim, but then my uncle touched me...

thumb_up thumb_down +18

was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

69

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What is brown and sticky? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the pig say to the banana? Oink.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Knock knock What?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats not funny and no one wants to waste the time to reading it? This joke

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the girl smear penut butter on the road. To go with the trafic jam

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man, a woman, and a kid are sitting at a table. They are eating dinner, the kid turns to the man and proceeds to explain how he wishes to drop out of school. The man sends him to his room as punishment. The man and the woman resume eating their dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what do you call a blonde that spends fifteen thousand dollars at a bar? an alchoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's faster than a black man running with a VCR? His son with the receipt of purchase as they realize VCR's are clearly outdated and must be returned right away.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A Priest, a Rabbi, and Santa Claus are on a plane. This is impossible because Santa Claus does not exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If Beauty Exits ... The Heck Are You?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

The way I see it, there are two types of people. Some are female and some a male.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was Martin Luther King assassinated? Because he had a mustache.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were driving on a highway. The redhead asked the brunette, who had the map, which was the next exit. The blonde was better with maps so she took it and announced where to go. They made the exit and enjoyed a nice lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

when push comes to shove, shove repeatedly explains to push that she needs to stop stealing his money and find a new place to live. Push then leaves, allowing shove to return back to his sofa and finish watching the basketball game.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

You're a frog

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did Alex fall off the swing? he had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops