Why couldn't the cat eat it's food? It's face was stapled to the floor.

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What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

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a little boy takes his lacrosse stick to his mom and says "hey mom this is bob" the mom says "hi bob" and she says to her son "does bob say hi back?" and the boy says "no mom. hes a lacrosse stick."

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whdid the cop say to the robber as he ran out of the bakery? I caught you bread handed

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What's the diffrents beetween a carrot and a dead baby? One I like to eat in my soup, the other one s a carrot.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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a brick cheated on another brick, the brick that was cheated on was angry and became disgusted at the brick that cheated. the current brick that was cheated on tryied top kill the other bitch brick, the brick that cheated tried to break up the fight but testicles

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An American almost walks into a store when he sees a Jew. The Jew was also about to walk into the store, So the american opens the door for him and says"Jew first."

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A man walks into a bar. Inside he finds Hitler, his wife, and an angry badger. They are pleased to see him and they all relate to each other through their shared love of bocce ball.

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what do mexicans need to survive............. a truck load of herowin and BOARDERS!!!!!!!!

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Three blondes are stranded on an island. They all die from starvation.

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what is the opposite of underpants? overpants

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was sick and tired of all the repeated monkey jokes and commited suicide and preceded to fall out of the tree.

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Why was the man sad? He was molested as a child.

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Communism

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Why did the dog bark? Who knows, dogs bark for many reasons unknown to humans.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in a apple? Getting raped by a skorpian

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Why do we have a black president? Because the populace voted and thought him to be an overall better candidate than John McCain.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbuluDBHpfQ

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Whats red and bad for your teeth? A brick Courtesy of: http://samsjokeoftheweek.moonfruit.com/

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What did the pear say to the plum? Nobody knows - the plum was deaf and didn't hear, the pear knows only dirty words in sign language, and there was nobody else around to overhear.

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What did the rat say to the dog? Nothing, he is a rat and therefore incapable of speech.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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