- Anti Joke

Why did the chicken cross the road? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . His family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn't quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family's murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family's killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer's whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers' home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers' body-guards, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Foghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Foghorn's life didn't, and wouldn't, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him "You're finally home Ralph, you're finally home."

wake n shake = wake up and masterbate to a picture of drew e mom o.O

What is difference about : Pizza and Jews on the Holocaust? Pizza don't scream when she gets into the oven!

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already taken her police statement and she doesn't want to discuss the incidentit anymore until her lawyer arrives.

What do you call it when Chuck Norris gambles? Chuck Norris does not gamble. That would imply the chance of losing.

Why are black people more athletic than whites? Black people originate from Africa, where they lived in a world where athletic ability created natural selection. The most athletic were able to escape dangers of the jungle such as dangerous animals, and were also most apt to find food to survive. Then when the slave trade occured, only the strongest and best fit survived the trip to America and the hard labor. Also, given the socio-economic trends of the United States, African Americans are more likely to grow up in an environment where they have limited opportunity to make a living, besides professional sports, so they play cheap sports like basketball.

A man walks into a bar... and watches the Monday Night Football game with his pals.

Knock Knock Who's there? UPS UPS who? UPS, your package is here.

Wanna hear a joke? No.

What's white and sticky? A sticky polar bear.

Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

why does'nt mexico have an olympic team? because they have a poor economy and have other things to worry about.

What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

knock knock go away ok

while having sex, the boy asked, "how many ears do elephants have?" his father answered, "two"

why did the supermodel have sex with the janitor? she loved him. and he was brad pitt.

Why was the bear rushing home after work? Because he was late for dinner.

It's all fun and games until you stop having fun

What does the Fawkes say? "Remember, remember, the 5th of November..."

What is fat and white? A polar bear with a glandular problem.

What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

Why did Kurt Cobain commit suicide? Because it was drug related

A hayride would be fun.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops