How do you know if elephants are watching a movie? If a Volkswagen Beetle is parked outside the movie house.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse begins bucking wildly, injuring three patrons before breaking through the front door.

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Wats worse than bitting into apple and finding a worm Bitting into an apple and finding an alligator

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A blonde a brunette and a ginger jump off a cliff they die upon impact and their families mourn for years to come.

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Q. You are driving a car. In front of you there is a camion driving at your same speed. Behind you there is a helicopter flying at your same speed at the ground level. On your left there is an ambulance driving at your same speed and on your right there is a ravine. How do you get out from this horrible situation? A. Get off the carousel.

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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Lance Armstrong gets on a bike

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What did the fat black man do? Get a gym membership.

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What is the last digit of Pi? Pi is an infinite decimal sequence, and therefore has no last number, but if it did, it would presumably be somewhere from 0-9.

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whats the difference between a white jew and a black jew the black jew is treated poorly and is sent to the back of the gas chamber

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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WNBA

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Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

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Why did Pamela Anderson cross the road? To meet me.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Why does Michael J. Fox make a great milkshake? Because he's had a successful career where he has made a substantial amount of money, allowing him to purchase high quality ingredients.

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A black man, a white man, and an Asian man walk into a bar. The black man says, "My wife died in a terrible book-keeping accident.". The white man says, "My wife died in a terrible lightbulb-sorting accident.". The Asian says, "My wife died in a terrible geography accident.". Soon after, the bar was hit by a missile, promptly killing the three men.

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roses are red violet are blue what are you gonna do when chuck norris find you

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Eeny meeny miny mo, Catch a tiger by it's toe, If he hollers let him go, Because if you don't he would attack you and go straight for you're neck and you would die a painful death...

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why did the women have to black eyes? obviously because her husband hit her because he wanted a sandwich and he slapped the bitch and told her to get in the kitchen!

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once, my friend said hi. i said hi back

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What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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Why couldnt the man stop the car rolling down the hill? Because he had no legs.

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Q: how do u wake lady gaga up? A: you poke-poke poke her face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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