Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing, he was homeless

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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roses are red orchids are black I like you best when you lye on your back

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What do you say when you accidently punch a wasps nest? Nothing.The correct choice is ton run as fast as you can to avoid getting stung by the entire nest of wasps.

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why did josh pick up the quarter because he's a jew

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What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, Who gives a shit

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yo mamas so fat... she's a map on call of duty

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What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

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"What the hell is wrong with you?" "..."

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whats the difference between a male porsche driver and a porcupine? with porcupines,the pricks are on the outside.

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What do humans and fish both have in common? They both live underwater, apart from humans.

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knock knock who's there? hope

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why did the black man jump higher than the white man he was on a trampoline

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I am a real homosexual

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feminists.

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The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

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Why did the man buy Trojan for his women? It's condom curtsey.

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A man walks into a bar He says "ow" and promptly sits down and ices the bruise he sustained

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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What's long,black and wrapped in something yellow ?? A twix

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A black man has a job.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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