What's Green and invisible? This cabbage --------------------------->>>>>

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What do you call a guy who died in a stampede? Grandpa.

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A mum and a dad were having guests round for dinner. The daughter overheard them arguing. Dad was calling mum a b*tch and mum was calling dad a b*stard. The daughter asked them what it meant and they just said, "oh, it just means ladies and gentlemen". Later, when mum was doing her makeup, she dropped it and said oh "sh*t". Daughter asked what it meant and mum replked "it's just another word for makeup". After that, dad dropped the turkey and said "oh, F*ck!" Daughter asked what it meant and he replied "its another word for cooking". When the guests arrived, the daughter answered the door, and said "hello b*tches and b*stards. Mums upstairs stuffing sh*t on her face and dads in the kitchen f*cking the turkey".

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

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haha. i got blocked too!!!!

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What's scarier than the most horrifying monster you can think of? The thought of Donald Trump becoming president!

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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what do u say to a man walking down the street nothing, u shouldnt talk to strangers

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What happens when you combine a chainsaw and a baby? 30 years to life

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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That awkward moment when you walk in on your economics teacher shagging Danii ... Anyone ?

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Two blonds walk into a building....they couldnt see it.

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A Priest, A Pedofile, and a Rapist walk into a bar. He Orders A Drink

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What did Delaware? A coat.

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What did the officer say to the black man? You're under arrest.

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roses are flowers violets are too violets are purple not fuing blue

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What did the dog say to the dildo? Your rubber

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Its a bird! No, it's a plane! Oh... so it is.

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Batman and Superman switched sidekicks. Superman didn't want Robin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he clearly has an owner that doesn't fence him in.

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On a scale of one to 10, F*ck yourself.

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What's worse than finding a bug in your soup? The Holocaust

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What's black and white, and red all over? Nothing, those two events are mutually exclusive of each other.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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