Yo mama's so fat, that we are all extremely concerned for her health.

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So you have been really stressed lately huh?

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Coming home and discovering that your wife has drowned your kids in the bathtub

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There was a baby, and it wouldnt stop crying. So the mom shook it and shook it. Then it stopped crying.

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Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

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A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

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What's the heaviest part of an elephant? Its body.

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Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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Why was the man killed before he could finish his anti joke? Because he

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Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

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why did u put your iphone in the blender?!?!? because i wanted to make apple juice..

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What do you call Charlie Sheen when he's on drugs? Charlie Sheen.

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fjdkhg

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There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

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you know what? CHICKEN BUTT. butt of chicken ahahahaa

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What did the duck say to the man? Nothing. Ducks cannot talk.

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How do you kill a baby? You take a gun and shoot it.

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Q: How do you fit 30 Jews in one car? A: Two in the front, two in the back, and the rest in the ash tray.

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how do you kill a blond? give her a gun and tell her it a blow dryer

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Why did the black guy jump into the pool? Because he wanted to go swimming

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whats stupid and gay all of my friends

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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