Two muffins were in an oven. Neither of them said anything because they are inanimate objects. After they were finished baking, they were pulled out and set to cool on a counter to be eaten at a later time.

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What did one German man say to the other? Wo ist das Badezimmer?

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when do you go to heaven? Never

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That awkward moment when Amish mingle has a member

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What is worse then a worm in your apple? 2 worms in your apple.

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Is your friend gay? Yeah, duh, of course he's happy.

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Women's rights.

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What's got eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs head.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? The Batmobile only seats one, you'll have to take the bike Boy Wonder.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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Why did Max drink the red Gatorade? Because he likes it more than all of the other flavors.

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Yo mama's so stupid, she put the baby in the microwave

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Studies prove that bald people have no hair?.

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A chicken walks into McDonalds. He never comes out because he got grilled, greased, and seasoned.

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Your momma is so hot your dad married her. She then slept around with other men. Your dad found out and now they're divorced.

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I woke up this morning and ran five miles. I am proud of myself for engaging in such a healthy lifestyle.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes And now so do you

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Why could a fat man not do a barrel roll? He has already to many rolls.

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail the other one to the floor.

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Why did the black man have drugs? He had a very serious medical condition that involved putting himself at a high risk at any time without proper medications, therefore he requires drugs to sustain him and hopefully prevent him from dying. To immediately believe that he was in possession of illegal drugs is a very racist assumption that is representative of one of the numerous racial problems that faces our society today.

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LISTEN UP PEEPS, I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU MY PASSWORD.. just as shown on screen THIS IS IT: ******* YEP just as shown on screen

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How many anti-jokes does it take to change a light bulb? Since anti-jokes are not concrete objects, any change would have to occur metaphorically or abstractly. The number of anti-jokes required would then be irrelevant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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