What did the black man buy at the fruit shop? Some bananas.

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Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

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Why wasn't the crow allowed on the plane? He had too much carrion luggage

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Q: What happens when you eat all the potatoes A: They are all gone

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Why was the anti joke funny? because it wasn't funny.

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Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

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when life givs you lemons, make lesbian porn

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roses are red violets are blue get down your trousers cause im waiting for you

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why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

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Why did the Jew cross the road? He was hungry and there was a McDonalds on the other side of the street.

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What did the broom say to the vacuum cleaner? "Your mom sucks."

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What did the guy at the office order on his pizza. Pepperoni :)

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Why did the chicken cross the road Because you didn't fuking cook to -.-

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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how do you grow a choade? idk ask shea

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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What do you call a man with short legs? Whatever his name is

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A preposition is a bad thing to end a sentence with.

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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-my friend Cassie is coming over - oh is she cute? -yea but she's not my type -oh that's understandable then

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your moms my other ride

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KNOCK! KNOCK! Who's there?! ... Ditched again!

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like this joke for a free ipod nano or a dead baby ?

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When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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