whats a dexter whats a died? HaHaHaHaHa Im so so funny

What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She's dead.

Lets just say that we are beyond the stage where I am "just" trying, by the way, you might want to search that last comment for double negatives. Or you know NOT NOT. Do not take my word for it, but if I am not wrong, the bacteria (yogurt) leaves afterwards, so you are eating milk that has been eaten and then.. You know... A common "side effect" of hypnosis, is that when it is used, the one hypnotized (both in this case) end up feeling a "strange" case of closeness, stronger bonds, friendship etc, scientists wonder why... ITS LIKE DUH! WE BOTH REVEAL DEEP SECRETS TO EACH OTHER! THINGS WE DO NOT EVEN USUALLY TELL OURSELVES! Its a literal no brainer, scientits can go fuck themselves, because as far as I know, thats the only fuck they ever get.

Q. What did the Cat say to the Dog? A. "These humans are so jobless.."

Why are you gay? Because ***** you

If an old person falls in the middle of the woods do they make a sound? No their died.

What do you call a bird with a broken wing? A bird with a broken wing.

How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

Why was the young Jewish boy afraid at camp? Because his scoutmaster is a pedophile.

There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

The Irishman walked out of the bad.. Haha just kidding

What is brown and sounds like a pickle? Poop

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

I don't get it

a fish swimming in the water swims

What's white on top and black on bottom? Society

A chinese man walks into a kitten store. He is a nice man in search of a companion.

Whats worse than falling off a bike? rape.

What trees do fortune tellers look at? Whichever variety of species are indigenous to where they live.

The Holocaust? What's worse than finding a worm in your apple.

What happen when you put a Ciara and a Charlie together? They have sex.

John is at the movies, when he drops his cookie on the floor. A passer-bier accidentally steps on it as he's about to pick it up. "Sorry" says his man. "I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles" said Terry. The man then proceeds to murder Terry.

whats red white and blue? i dont know

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...