A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Yo mamas so greasy that she has a beard

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

watashi no namae wa ramune desu

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did polyvore say to wanelo? Nothing They are apps

thumb_up thumb_down +170

Why do black people drink cool-aid? Because it tastes good.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

thumb_up thumb_down -20

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Relizing its a used tampon covered with blood.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did Michael Jackson die Cuz

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Yo' momma so fat she buys clothingthat is bigger than most other people's clothing

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your in a building there's no windows ,doors and a sement floors and u only have a mirror and a table how do you get out You look in the mirror see what u saw take the saw saw the table in half two halfs make a hole clime out the hole

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Sidney Crosby comes face-to-face with Alex Ovechkin. The Penguins were playing the Capitals.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

2 black people and a mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The black person because they decided it would save gas if they all carpooled to their job.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why shouldn't you worry about having a baby? Because with all these jokes, babies aren't even going to be around anymore. "What's funnier than a dead baby?" "A dead baby in a clown costume"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

My life sucks, I'm about 20 years old, and i haven't changed aged for 15 years, I'm stuck in this dead end fast food job, my colleague hates me, my boss is a money crazed freak, my best friend is a mentally retarded immature weirdo and to top it all off, I live in a pineapple under the sea.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

My, you you... SEDUCER! XD, and there I go proving your point by going uppercase XD

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Five Mexicans were driving down the motorway in a Ford. Must've been a Fiesta.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What goes up a smokestack instead of down? Murdered Jews, when they get cremated.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

what do you do when you forget to do your math homework? kill your teacher

thumb_up thumb_down +6

knock knock you may come in

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock Knock Who's there? I said who's there? The man opens the door to find there was no one there and begins to shake in fear as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was tied to the first one.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops