Why did the man have an extremely large nose? It just so happens that both his father and mother had large noses as well and nature took it's course.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Wow, I screwed up, Give me head.

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family attempted to cross the road approximately 30 seconds earlier and were immediately struck by a moving vehicle traveling at 45 miles per hour. He crossed the road to try to comfort his family while they took their final breathes of life. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a man that had recently been laid off from his union job and came down with a disease that is considered uncurable by modern science.

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There was a dog and a cat. What happens next? The cat's not there anymore. Neither is the dog. Can you guess what happend? The dog ate the cat, but the cat was his friend, so the dog committed suicide.

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How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer? Ask her.

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How do you drown a blond? Keep her head underwater until her lungs fill with water and her bodily functions stop working.

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It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

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how do you know your at a gay picnic. the hotdogs smell like shit.

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once there where 3 guys on a beach. they found a bottle and a fetis came out.. later they found out 2 of the 3 had cancer and the 3rd was a vegetable.

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why was the little boy crying? He had dead mice shoved up his asshole.

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What's fun and challenging? Writing an anti-joke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stock market crashed 600 points today, and his retirement account took a hit. He can't afford his car anymore.

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A woman fell victim to nasty car accident. Her injuries were very grave. The doctors warned her family that she had two hours to live. She died two hours later.

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An Irishman walked out of a bar. A Frenchman was polite. An Englishman had beautiful teeth.

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What do you call a man in a pool with no arms and legs? Bob

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Wal-mart didn't have the product I wanted. So I yelled at the manager until they had it. It didn't work and i was taken to jail.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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Q: How did Muhamid Ali ( casius clay ) get a black eye? A: He was born

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What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. Jill was dehydrated.

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My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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