How do you fit 1000 Jews into a car? You can't. You'd need a much larger vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q. What happened to the kid with 1 arm and 1 leg and 1 arm and 1 leg A. He had a seisure, then got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road... so people could keep asking that question for 4000 years

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A woman catches her husband cheating on her she divorces him in a rather lengthy sequence of meetings in court

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

what's white and sticky semen

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Michael Jackson like 24 year olds? Because they are apart of humanity and he had no reason to dislike them.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He removes the piece of lingerie from his face and continues shopping for clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why shouldn't you go to California? Because there are sharks there, obviously.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's good about having alzheimers? You meet new people every day!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why are anti-jokes so funny? they aren't. they're stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

European on my shoes, buddy.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a black man in space? A space monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What's the biggest difference between a black man and a white man? A: Their skin color.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats worse then a dead baby? 10 dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is the difference between a baby and a log? I don't have a log in my fireplace

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops