You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well, he graduated in 4 years with a degree in chemical engineering due to his diligence and good work ethic. He now has a well paying job that allows him to support his wife and two kids and to pay the mortgage on their large home.

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what did the apple say to the peer... I taste better !!

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The opposing forces behind all human beings is not light vs darkness, not good vs evil, but fear vs ' love. Whatever is overwhelmingly good for one person, is evil to many. Overwhelming darkness wont allow you to see. Overwhelming light will make you blind. You can never fear overwhelming love. You can never love overwhelming fear. These are the true polar opposites, part of all emotion that drive the human being.

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How do you make a japanese man horny? Mutilate his girlfriend

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Why does Michael Jackson like K-mart? He does not; he is dead.

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antijoke is the best website.

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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what do you call a man with blue eyes??? a man with blue eyes

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What do you call your mum without an umbrella? Saturated Fat

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What's as hard as rock and as light as a feather? Any object in the space, once the lack of gravity makes atoms to have not weight, since mass x gravity equals to weight.

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Terraria

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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they say that if you commit suicide, you have done nothing wrong. does that mean hitler did nothing wrong?

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What did the apple say to the Banana? ....Nothing... fruit don't talk

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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what did the man say when he was reading a book? nothing, if u assume the situation when hes reading to himself.

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What do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's pussy.

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Yo mama so fat she has an increased risk of blood clots!

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whats sad about three black men driving off a cliff in a cadillac? a cadillac seats five.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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A priest, a rabbi and Santa walk into a bar. that's a highly coincidental situation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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