"It smells like Up dog in here." "How do you know what the dog from the movie "Up" smells like? It's computer-animated and not real." "I...I think I have a brain tumor..."

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Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

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What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

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SOPA gets passed and shuts down anti-joke because KFC claims the picture of the anti-joke chicken

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What do you call a one-armed man Whatever his name is

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Knock Knock. Whose there? The IRS. All your base are belong to us.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, Oh shit, my garden is on fire

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Why not zoidburg? Because Zoidburg is a alien from another planet and the human population is probally afraid to talk to him do to the potential danger of alien contact.

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My Boyfriend

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What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish.

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Your mother lives so loosely that she has several terminal diseases and only has 3 weeks to live.

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Why are Asians so smart? Because they study

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Against city ordinates, an old woman was keeping chickens in her suburban back yard. One escaped, and there was no where else to go.

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How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With a blindfold.

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How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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Knock Knock. Who´s there? Tsu Tsu who? TSUNAMI!!!!!!!

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What's worse than being fired? Eating a bucket of diarrhea.

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What is Green and taste like an apple? An Apple

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How do you get a plumber to cry? Kill his family

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why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme Others don't

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Scientology.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops