A shark walks into a bar. The bartender asks someone to call animal control to remove the nearly-dead sea creature from his bar.

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I like school Said no one ever.

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How can you tell the difference between a cow? One says moo

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Double-whammy

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what did the indians give the pilgrims? syphylis

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cook Pu. Ok then. Kelvin Yang.

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My momma's so ugly she had to get plastic surgery. Now I need it.

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What was Helen Keller book called Bsnshsiengwkaisg

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Steven hawking drives into a bar Disability

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r u smart..... or ur black

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Why didn't Anne Frank answer the door? Because it was the German SS.

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A- Knock knock. B- Who's there? A- The interrupting doctor. B- The interrupt- A- You have cancer.

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Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

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whdid the cop say to the robber as he ran out of the bakery? I caught you bread handed

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how come timmy didnt brush his teeth he didnt have a toothbrush

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Why did the Jew post a free link on his Facebook wall? Because it is funny and he hoped his friends would like it.

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69

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Q: Why did the Jew fit in with the White people? A: Because he, and his compatriots, have accepted the view of Judaism as a religion, and perhaps a lifestyle -- but not a race.

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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Did you hear about the alter boy that wasn't molested by a priest?

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Q: What would happen if you threw a red brick into the black sea? A: It would get wet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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