Two men walk into a bar. And they enjoy a good night of drinking beer and playing pinball.

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Q: What do you call a person up to their elbows in a horse's ass? A: An Amish auto mechanic. (this gem brought to you by Designated Dale)

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roses are red you are dumb no one will care when you die

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When Chuck Norris is in a puddle, he doesnt get wet....he wears rainboots.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was in the designated crosswalk area and there was no oncoming traffic.

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A baseball player hits a home run and wins the game for his team, when he arrives back home expecting to see his mother and father, he remembers they both died in a car crash several years ago.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, speaking to a bird would have been considered highly irregular, bordering on insane. He left the bird alone, until the time came to slaughter the bird and take it's nutritious meat.

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how many blondes does it take to fix a lightbulb? 764,983,792,545,653,

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what did the mexican firefighter name his two sons. Ryan and Mike.......

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Whats faster that a Mexican with your TV? A speeding bullet.

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HOW LONG is a Chinese name?

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What do you call a pregnant girl? Your Ex

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Why did the swing fall off the girl? I have dyslexia

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My bologna has a first name It's O-S-C-A-R... My bologna has a second name It's M-A-Y-E-R... Oscar and Mayer were the names of the pig and the cow that were slaughtered and subsequently processed into the bologna I am eating.

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Why are you looking here? The joke's in your hand.

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Why did the snowman melt? It got tired of everyday life and decided that it would be best if he disappeared from society... His name was Dave...

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Sit her in the corner and deprive her of things she likes to do.

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Why can't Amy winehouse drive? She's dead.

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Your mom is so old, -just kidding. I know she died at a young age.

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What is worse than a case of the flu? Finding a dead camel on the highway with a half eaten lollipop in its mouth.

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a pressure-sensitive explosive device.

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how do you kill Lady Gaga? with a gun.

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wat did the farmer say to little lucy? I'm about to rape u, don't scream

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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