What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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Why is six scared of seven? Because seven is in his house with an axe.

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How many babies can you fit in a toilet? To be exact you would have to do all this math, so I tested it out myself and got 7.6.

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How do you make a gorilla stop chasing you? You shoot him.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's. Alzheimer's who? Knock knock!

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a cheetah? Don't do that, I'm pretty sure it's illegal for several reasons.

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Roses are red, The grass is greener, Every time i'm with you, I touch my wiener.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a homicidal maniac, six has every right to be afraid

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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What is a black person's favorite color? There are many different colors and it would be unrealistic to believe that all the people of a single race would choose the same one as their favorite.

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Why was the boy wearing pyjamas? It was his bed time.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

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Why are Anti-jokes funny? Coz they are not.

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What do a Jew and a Vegan have in common? They both won't eat pork products.

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How do you get a baby into a bowl? Use a blender. How do you get the baby out of the bowl? Tortilla chips.

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What's blue and says "Good morning" A blue sign that says good morning

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a truck.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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What's worse than a crying baby? A dead one...

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When Chuck Norris dives into a pool... he gets wet due to the aqueous nature of the water

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In this country, you gotta get the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, you get shot the F*** up at the end of Scarface.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

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Roses are red, I have a phone, nobody texts me, forever alone...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops