Whats worse than passing out drunk and having your friends draw on your face? When you die of alcohol poisoning in the morning

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What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

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Why did the cop stop a black guy with a Rolls-Royce? Because he was speeding while on his phone and going through red traffic lights.

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What do a bike and a duck have in common? They both have handlebars except for the duck.

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Why don't chicken wear underwear? Because their peckers are on their face

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IT SOUNDS SO WROOONG! Actually I was thinking more about when I go short sentences, you go short, then I decide to put in like 500 lines in a single comment and then you do. Besides I call it caps! And no, I do not want you to be like me, there was already another me, it was a complete bitch killing him, I mean if I did not know a lot worse, I would say his chances at kicking my ass where equal. By the way, that "you you seducer" totally sounded like something Donald Duck would say, I dig Donald, so I guess I am into cartoons.

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What did the priest do to the young catholic boy? Bless him.

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If yesterday was friday, today is saturday, what day is it tomorrow? sunday

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The banana, the raspberry and the pear arrived to the party, then the carrot and the tomato arrived as well, but when the apple and the orange arrived the banana left... ...This where just getting to fruity...

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't because he wasn't capable of having emotions after he fell into a coma and died 10 months ago after a severe car crash involving a drunk driver. The believed driver,3 had a blood alcohol of .26 and rear ended 6's car at 60 mph. 3 was uninjured and promptly arrested but....6 wasn't so lucky. The doctors said there was no chance of him coming back and they pulled the plug.He was only 9 days away from his 32nd birthday. The funeral was held shortly after, 7 seemed the most upset and couldn't hold back the tears well enough to make it through the whole service. The family is now forever scarred. In Loving Memory of 6 February 22,1982-February 13,2014 Loving father, Caring husband, Forever in our hearts

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What do you get if you mix rice with slightly different flavoured rice? Rice.

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two muffins are in a oven the one muffin says jee its hot in here and the other muffin says wow a talking muffin

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What was unprecedented about Roosevelt running for president in 1940? He had polio, he couldn't run!

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The 17 year old buy called his computers support number to remove a virus from his old computer, so he can gift the computer to his little cousin for his birthday. But before giving the computer to his cousin he downloaded over 120 hours of adult film onto it.

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Penis!

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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A ginger kid and his 5 friends walk into a bar

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You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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Why did the baby cross the street? It was stapled to the chicken

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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I am awesome, you are not, i am awesome, you smoke pot!

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There are too many people in this bar, a man says. He then walks out of the bar and proceeds to visit his grandmother. Orange.

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Hey Caleb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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