Q why did the girl scream A she got hit with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I can't see my forehead

thumb_up thumb_down +53

So a mama tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato were all walking down the street. The baby tomato was falling behind its parents. So the daddy tomato goes back, squishes the baby tomato and yells ketchup!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

how do you tell the difference between a jew and a muslim? you ask them what their religion is.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano? Neither has he...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man quites his job to open a coffee shop which has been a dream of his for years, The shop does well with a healthy supply of customers and a steady income,The man is now financially stable.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the blind boy get for christmas? harry potter transcribed in braille so he could enjoy such a magical world like the rest of us

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, it is unclear what the chicken's motivation to cross the road was.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats Brown and Sticky A) a stick

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road? He is seriously pissed off about being repeatedly subjected to this level of intense interrogation. Do you ask other animals why they chase their tails or claw at dirt? Do people ask you why you run when you're late? How would you like to have every move you made transformed into some cliche, old farce? There's a road, he's a chicken, there are only so many possible outcomes.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the mushroom invited to the party? It was because it was a mushroom costume party

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the blind man say to his wife? Nothing, for he was mute too

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Yo' momma's so black, I hope she didn't experience any racism growing up in school.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Three penguins are at the top of snowy hill. The first penguin slides down the hill, and yells "RADIO!" The second penguin slides down the hill, and yells "RADIO!" Finally, the third penguin slides down and hill and yells "RADIO!"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the plane crash? The pilot lost control of the plane.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a person with no legs playing soccer? A soccer player.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red violets are blue im a schizophrenic and i am too.

thumb_up thumb_down

What is better than a car made of gold? Anything you consider to be better than a car made of gold.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? The mexican, the black man broke his arm and the mexican is driving him to the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A Jew picked up a penny. He thought his beard matched the guy on the coin.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A black guy and a mexican are in the backseat of a car, who's driving Their designated driver who they carefully selected as someone they thought had enough self-control to not drink and could get both of them home safely

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you call a baby that's just been crushed by a piano. a mess for a cleaner to deal with. think about his health. after that he might get a disease from the body and he might not get to sleep as it is a haunting sight.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops