what is red white and blue? the french flag

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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Those days where everything goes wrong, and you think to yourself "I just gotta do whats right here"... ...Sigh... 2. DO YOU KNOW WHY I HATE YOU SO MUCH? BECAUSE I HATE YOU! (Blame is on me, love and hate are not opposites, send me a copy of your book, and ill rip it out for you)

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What's little and very sad? A 5-year old locked in a cage.

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What did the man say to his wife right before they got married? "I do."

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What's big and white and wilbkill you if it falls from a tree? My dick.

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Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

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Caolan and Eamon

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what happend when the little boy went on the rollercoaster ? It crashed.

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Your momma's so fat that she went on a diet.

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What's worse than being mugged? Being raped by bulbasaur.

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two nuns were driving in Transylvania when a vampire jumps out in front of their car the first nun said "show it your cross" so the secong got out of the car and yelled Get out of the way you pric!!!!

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? lettuce lettuce who? Lett-uce be friends

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What did the salad say to the dressing? Nothing! Carrots don't talk!

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Where was little Sara when the bomb went off? Everywhere. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" Sara's hands

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What do you call a black guy who walks into your house and takes your stuff. A repoman, pay your taxes next time

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welcome to anti joke.com. you were expecting an anti joke wernt you.

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How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

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The WNBA

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Eeny meeny miny mo, Catch a tiger by it's toe, If he hollers let him go, Because if you don't he would attack you and go straight for you're neck and you would die a painful death...

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why aren't black people real? they are. just because they are less visible at night makes no difference.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -None, they will pay for somebody else to do it

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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