What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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I advise you, don't mess with me, I know karate, kung fu,judo, tae kwon do, jujitsu, and 28 other dangerous words.

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How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

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Little Timmy enjoyed school He went to Sandy Hooks

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What did Grandma Sally give Little Timmy for Christmas? Herpes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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Shut up and stop laughing, Daddy's balls aren't gonna lick themselves.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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Why did Dom move to Wales? Because he is poor!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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Do you know what's funnier than 24? 25

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a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

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What's black without keys. A keyboard after you hit it with a shovel.

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varför skriver jag på svenska jag vet inte

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Why did the old lady cross the road? Why not.

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How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

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What did the muslim get for christmas? Nothing.

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How do you get a black kid to sleep? A cup of warm milk and maybe a lulluby should do it.

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What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor

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Why was the little girl crying? She got raped by a giant scorpion.

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3 blind mice walk into a bar. they have no idea of their surroundings and are quickly crushed to death.

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What did modern scientists say to Einstein? Neurtinos travel faster than the speed of light! :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops