make me a sandwich!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What do you have if you have a green ball in your right hand and a green ball in your left hand? Two green balls.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A dyslexic pervert asks to see a woman's bar. Then he is chased to the bra next door.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why doesn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it makes him mean.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was just a young boy living in a quaint suburbial town, his family, 1 2 3 4 and 5 were all killed by 7. 7 then burned down their house while 6 ran away from the blazing inferno he used to call home. 6 was forced to live off the land in order to survive. 6 built a house using only mud and sticks and a little elbow grease. When 7 heard the news that 6 was still alive and well in the forest, 7 went into the woods, tracked down 6's home and again burned it down. When 6 came back from a day of fishing and a handfull of fish, he saw that his house was burned down. The fish then escaped from his hands, and flew away. 7 had left a note on the ground that said 7. 6 then recalled the first time 7 had killed his family and burned down house. 7 had now burned down two of 6's houses. That is why 6 is afraid of 7.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

ur mamas so ugly cause when she looked up at the sky it started to rain

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a clock with no hands? Broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

knock knock!! kanye west

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did dicks dicks the dicks dicks? because you're gay and dicks

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Have you seen Helen Keller's back porch? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Tic tac toe. I never met my father

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What has feet, but no legs? An alien.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

a dyslexic made a dessert. it was a bit dry.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

theres a mexican women and a black man in a car....whos driving? nobody sadly the driver was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

The last time I heard that joke, I fell off my pet single celled bacteria.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing. He's a mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q. Why is me question not funny? A. Because there is no point to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why did the chicken cross the road? because it was tired of the people on the side she was on who told lame anti jokes, so she tried to stay away from them.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

why does andy thomson speak that slow because he speaks that way

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why was 2 afraid of three Because it bigger

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops