Knock knock... Home invasion

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What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree and lands on you, you'd die? A pool table.

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Justin Bieber had sex with a woman.

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Why do you do when a homeless man asks you for money Scream bicycle and then run

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A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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why did the woman call the police? because there was a murderer pointing a gun at her at her son.

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Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

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A man is flailing his arms in the ocean. Help me, I'm drowning!, he screams. Some dude runs into the water, drags the man out, and is proclaimed a Hero.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this cloth smell like chloroform to you!

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Q Whats the difference between a pich fork with watermelons and a pitch for with dead babies stuck on. A The pitchfork with the dead babies were severly shot in the kidneys and then the heart. Blake

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Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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What does 2 + 2 equal? 4

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What do you do when you have those days where you feel that you go back three damn steps for every step you take towards your goal? DUUUUUH! You turn your back, see? Now you are getting three steps at the right direction for every right one! LOGIC!

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You have 5 $1 dollar bills. Your mom rapes you and you still have 1 $5 dollar bill.

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How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it.

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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LA Police, Christine Collins called. She wants her son back.

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a light bulb? blacks don't work

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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should? Fly halfway across the world when the environment turns hostile.

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Q:What does a virgin and a penny both have in common? A:Guys don't want them.

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What's worse than death? Not a lot!

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Today, my doctor discovered I had a tumor in my brain the size of a walnut. FML.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Its just a bulge I swear its not a bomb

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Why didn't the woman cross the road? She died from breast cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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