Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

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one day there was an ugly barnicle. he was SSSOOO ugly that everyone died the end -patrick

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Why couldn't the elephant ride the bike? Because it didn't have a thumb to ring the bell!

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What do you say if you see a monkey driving a car? Nothing , you run away because primates are incapable to have motor skill and will probably crash within the next 50 feet

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Why couldn't sally go on the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there Sally

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Blonde hair is the result of having two recessive alleles for hair color in your genotype. There is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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Did u think that last joke was funny? Well this one isnt

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Why did the man punch his wife? Because he was angry

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a bad chicken and it burned in hell.

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Your moma is so fat, that Jabba the Hutt says: "Damn!!!"

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Guess what I was with your mom last night so I wraped her in foil and put her in the oven.

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Whats long, black, and fat? The line at KFC

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How do you piss off a teacher? Accuse them of being a pedophile

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What did a policeman say to his belly? Nothing. Because he knows his belly is incapable of speech.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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Friend: Do you want to go to the bar or see a movie first? Me: Yes.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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Can i have a Ice Cream Kuhn?

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How do you feed 1000 people? Cook 1000 meals .

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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why did haris die...............................................his hair blond? .. u

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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