How many jews can you fit into a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and a thousand in the ash tray.

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"What's 'green', 'blue', and 'red' all over?" My color-blind friend said in confusion.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He saw and ice cream truck across the street and rode towards it as fast as he could, sadly it was rush hour and he was hit by a speeding ambulance because he forgot to look both ways.

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A woman walks into the living room while her husband is watching tv. The husband tells her "Make me a Sandwich", so she goes to the kitchen and makes him a sandwich like shes told to.

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Why did Timmy pass his chemistry exam? Because he studied.

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Why is the little boy sad? His parents died in a car crash.

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Q: Why did your mom cross the street? A: Because she was so ugly that she fell off both sides of the bed

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Q: Why did the man move out of his house? A: He found another, for a better price.

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What do an eagle and a badger have in common? They both live underground...except the eagle

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Why did the little girl fall of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why did the boy die? He got hit by the school bus.

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What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start

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What's the difference between a radio and a bowl of potato salad? If you put batteries on a radio you can turn it on and listen to some music. If you put batteries on a bowl of potato salad it's not gonna give you any music.

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Whats massive, long, hard, cold, and is blue? A penis in an ice cube.

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Why did the man ask the woman on a date? They were both single and looking for a unique, romantic experience that could possibly turn into a long-term loving relationship.

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What do you call a dumb blonde with no hair? You don't, since there is no way of knowing that she is blonde.

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What did the... Uh, I forgot the rest of the joke.

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What did the priest do to the little crying boy in an enclosed room? He forgave the boy for his sins. Then he raped him.

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A black duck walks into a bar. Duck: "I'll have a beer." Bartender: " How you paying for that?" Duck: "Put it on the tax payers."

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It's probably not a good idea that your in here, any sudden movements and you could seriously injure somebody. Our beer glasses aren't ergonomically designed for your kind of species. I'm going to have to ask you to leave

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yo momma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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What is white and hard to catch? A refrigerator

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Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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