Why did the squirrel cross the... *Squash*

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why couldn't Peter climb the tree? Because he's a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats green and has wheels?? - Grass, I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -25

My uncle was involved in 9/11... He called me before the plane crashed into the twin towers, his final words were so comforting... "ALLAH AKBAR!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the genie say to the man that rubbed the magic lamp? Nothing, genies don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you get when you cross a black man and an octopus? I don't know, but it sure would pick a lot of cotton.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A Priest and a young child walk into a dark alley.... It leads to a church and he talks to the young boy about God

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock knock Whos there? Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior jesus christ?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why couldn't the little boy find his friend in hide and go seek He was blind

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

thumb_up thumb_down -28

It's not just a boulder. It's a rock! A rooooocckk!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Two hunters walk in to the forest. They have a great time ending the lives of defenceless creatures. They go to their respective homes, eat a light dinner, and fall asleep in their beds.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a black guy driving an airplane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -2

First the lord created light by shouti... ...Then the lord travelled back in time in order to create voice before that. The lord then said "I almost logic and everything failed at the very beginning. he corrected himself and saw it was good,

thumb_up thumb_down

What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

as i unscrewed my belly button and suddenly my butt fell off

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats black, white, and huge? The world if you are a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

I see London, I see France, I am in an airplane on my way to Europe.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Roses are green Violets are yellow Those are the wrong colors oh well who gives a shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do an elephant and a plum have in common? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops