Q: If a turtle loses its shell is it naked, homeless, or dead? A:Yes

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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What did the guy say when he dropped his baby? "oh no!"

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A white guy, a black guy, and a chinese man all walk in to a magic shop, at different times in the day to buy different products.

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Why couldnt dylan make it to mike's birthday party? He was killed instantly in a car crash on the way there.

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A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

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What's the diffrents between a horse and a zebra? WELL clearly there names duh.

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Hitler, Mussilini, And Hideki Tojo Walk In To A Bar Mitzvah, Everyone Was Brutally Murdered & No One Survived.

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Why did the woman have sex with the man? Because she is over 18, which is above all of the legal consent ages in the United States.

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What is worst then 9/11? What? Tiger woods

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What's the difference between a turtle and a bird? They both fly. Except the turtle.

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My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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why did jenny fall off the swing? because she had no arms Knock Knock Whos there? not jenny

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Why did the skeleton not get invited to the party? Because he was a heroin addict

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How do you kill a blonde? you shoot her.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she wasn't a woman

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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b r o k e n k e y b o a r d ! ! p l e a s e h e l p ! ! ! ! !

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a man is having trouble getting onto the internet on his home computer. so he he calls a computer technician to help him. \

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Knock knock Who's there? Benjamin Benjamin who? Benjamin Dover Ben! I'm so glad you're home the kids have missed you so much!

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PLEASE HELP IM TRAPPED IN SOME GUYS HOUSE PLEASE SOMEBODY HAS TO SEE THIS IF I TEXT HE WILL SEE IT IM AT

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What do you call a leper in a spa bath? Say excuse me Sir (or Madam), I notice you have leprosy, did you know that it is treatable? MDT for multibacillary leprosy consists of rifampicin, dapsone, and clofazimine taken over 12 months. Dosages adjusted appropriately for children and adults are available in all primary health centres in the form of blister packages.[17] Single dose MDT for single lesion leprosy consists of rifampicin, ofloxacin, and minocycline. The move toward single-dose treatment strategies has reduced the prevalence of disease in some regions, since prevalence is dependent on duration of treatment. World Leprosy Day was created to draw awareness to leprosy and its sufferers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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