Your mom is so stupid, that she took an IQ test and was proven mentally retarded. Her family is devastated.

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Two children decide to bury a time capsule in their backyard and open it 5 years later. They then break into tears realizing they have no backyard because they are orphans. They are now orange.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -The Pizza you ordered. -Oh thank you very much. -That'll be $10. -Here you go. -Thank you very much, sir. Enjoy your meal.

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roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

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why did the kid let go of his kite? He got struck by lightning

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"I see." said the blind man to his deaf son.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was recently released from prison for violent crimes.

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Why did the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a truck

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Teenage pregnancy.

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What did the little girl with no legs or arms get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock knock? Who's there? Not that little girl.

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What's the difference between a person and a cow? 2% of their DNA. The other 98% is virtually identical.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six had severe paranoia.

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What's worse than a bag of dead babies? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Jews.

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yo mama so fat that she should be concerned because diabetes is a serious issue

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Micheal Jackson walks into a bar?

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What's white and yellow with red all over? Vietnam War

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What's worse than stepping on a lego? Being eaten alive by a man-sized spider.

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a dog jumping up and catching a frisbi

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Exactly what he had asked for because UNICEF do a wonderful job.

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One day I walked into my backyard I saw a squirrel Then I was like oh hey squirrel

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What do a grape and a spider have in common? Both have 8 legs..... Except for the grape.

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What's the difference between cat and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other is a watermelon.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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Q: What's big, brown, and smell like crap? A: Turd.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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