What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

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Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

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A fat man walked into a hot dog.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Hey man how was the trip to Hiroshima? Great it blew my mind!! And how was Nagasaki ? It was the bomb!!

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What is worse than the holocaust Nothing it was fine with the Jews in camps burning and dying

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Knock Knock... Who's there? The FBI, you're going to jail. Really? No.

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What do you call a man looking at Anti jokes on this ? you

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Women's rights.

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Why did Michael Jackson become white? Because he likes to molest children.

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roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

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Instructions to make origami. 1.) Staple bagels to face 2.) Ask someone else to do it. 3.) Hang yourself because you are too stupid to figure it out yourself

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Your mother is so fat, that somebody should inform her of the risks of eating unhealthy foods because she could obtain life threatening diseases.

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A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender knows that bears can't talk and realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and rolls over to tell his wife about the dream. She hears the joke, but turns away from him and pretends to be asleep. Then the bartender begins to cry. His marriage is in shambles.

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What do you call a Mexican that is jumping off a building? A suicidal jumper!

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whats gayer than 2 homosexuals? 3 homosexuals.

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One out of every 3 smokers dies.................. the rest gain immortality.

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U know whats worser than having a worm in your apple... Having 1352 dislikes on your anti-joke...

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What did the blind man say to the bartender? Nothing, I forgot to mention he's also mute and has no legs.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

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Why did Bert go to the doctor? He had an appointment.

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what did the man say to his cat? sex. -teagan doherty

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Did you hear about the black man who went to college? He made a very successful living for himself despite this rough economy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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