Ask me if im a tree? No

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Why did the British boy win his talent show? Because he had straight teeth

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Two robots are walking down the street together and walk into a bar. Just kidding, they can't walk because they have Polio.

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

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Why did the baby cross the road? I don't know but it got hit by a semi during.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running away from KFC.

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why cant the black man vote? because hes not 18 yet.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a canoe? Canoes weren't killed by Hitler

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Executioner: Would you like to make a statement? Mr Murderer: Yes, I would love to sing a song. Executioner: Very well. Begin. Mr Murderer: There were 6 billion in the bed, and the little one said roll over, roll over. So they all rolled over and one fell out...

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What's brown and adhesive? A stick

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What did the Scorpio say to the Aquarius? "How's Uranus? Ohhhhh!" The Aquarius replied: "I have maggots."

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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all broke beyond repair.

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What did the chair say to the fan? Nothing. Chairs and fans are objects so they do not have the physical ability to talk.

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Q: Whats worse than having a dead car battery? A: Going to prison and getting raped by a black guy

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what's funnier than hell? heaven

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Knock knock Who's there? Bill Oh hai come in

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19 cats 33 hamsters 24 turtles and 23 dogs are all in a small cage, PETA is not happy.

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A man said to a performer performin in a concert,"Go break a leg!". The performer did not respond because he is perfoming.

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How do you punish an electrician? Kill his family.

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What do you call a girl who disappears on the 3 May 2007? Madeleine McCann

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What is Michael Bay's favorite fruit? Melon

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang-rape.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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