Yo mums so fat she went on a diet.

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Why did the italian go to jail? because he had just robbed a bank and then brutally murdered his wife and kids.

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What do you call a guy eating a sandwich? Whatever his name is.

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Knock, knock. Who's there. Death.

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What's big, grey and can't climb a tree? A parking lot

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You are walking down the street. You see 3 black people and you don't talk to them because they are complete strangers.

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why doesnt jesus play hockey? he got nailed to the boards

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Your mother is so ugly that your father no lomger finds her attractive

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs and an eyepatch? names...

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How many clowns fit in a car? Depends how many get in the car.

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So I went to my grandmothers house at 7 and left at 8.

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Why did Alex fall off the swing? he had no arms

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a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

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If you're happy and you know it get a life

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haikus are easy but sometimes they make no sense refrigerator

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Q. Why was the little boy sad? A. He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Whats worse then hell? The guy who commited suicide would know.

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Who is the Greek god of STDS? Herpies

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A little boy and a pedafile are walking through the forest at night. The little boy says "I'm scared." The pedafile says "You're scared? I have to walk home alone."

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whats black dirty gross and sits on the porch all day? a trash bag

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Im sitting in class trying to write a joke. I should be writing my speech But i'm better off trying to think of the funniest joke that could get on the front page with over 9000 likes :( Lol nah thats never going to happen :'(

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An american family is picknicking on the bottom of the ocean. They are eating french fries, big mac's, chicken mc nuggets and drinking coca cola, some slurpies too, all purchased at the local mac donalds near lyndon blvd, in chevy chase near that weird house with the toothless lady that always smiles and then all of a sudden frowns at you, often wearing either a dark green or mint green dress. Spongebob squarepants comes drifting by dead in circular pants and little Sally, their youngest daughter asks a question, which cannot be heard because they're underwater.

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Ruff, hi, ruff ruff, we are both dogs ruff ruff, ruff ruff, ruff!!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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