a man walks into a bar... and he says 'ouch!'

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Q: What happens when a Jew with a boner runs into a wall? A: He breaks his nose.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure _._._

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what the difference between Obama and osama bin laden nothing

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why is the asian still in the driveway? her car broke down

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People Eating Tasty Animals

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Do you want to hear a good knock knock joke? Okay, you start.

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Why did the monkey fall off the tree? It died.

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I was just entering the toilet in a transport cafe just as a lorry driver was coming out. "I wouldn't go in there mate if I was you" he said "Why does it smell?" I enquired "No I've just murdered a prostitute"

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the bottom of a pit? Whatever his parents named him.

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Two kids walk into a bar and get arrested for underage drinking.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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Roses are burning, Violets are burning, my house is on fire

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What's better than winning the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Yo mama so ugly... she has an extremely bad burn on her face.

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What do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A pilot.

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What's funny and looks like a fish? A clown fish

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Why was the young girl sad? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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what do you call lots of jews on a train? Call them what you want they aren't coming back!

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What is my favorite color? How the heck should I know?

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What happened when the black woman moved to the front of the bus? There were no seats available but everyone was very nice about it. She also asked for gum. Somebody did have gum. Which was nice.

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Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

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A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

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A blind man walks into a bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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