Why did Stephen get an A on his test? He held his teacher at gunpoint and forced her to give him a good grade despite the fact he got an F.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

whats the sad part of 4 negroes driving off a cliff? the car couldve fit 5

thumb_up thumb_down -2

ha do call a by with red heir a freckles? ginger

thumb_up thumb_down +26

yo mamas so old she probably ralises the greater risk of breast cancer in middle age women.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? "robin get in the car"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

a fat man walks out of mcdonalds

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did ahmet say to adem...? LEMME SUCK ON THOSE TITS joke made by dark

thumb_up thumb_down -17

a customer walks into a store and says, "the customer is always wrong." the employee replies, "no, the customer is always right." "you just contradicted yourself."

thumb_up thumb_down -43

teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q:What did the scissors say to the paper? A: Nothing, cause thier scissors and paper they don't talk..

thumb_up thumb_down +10

"Knock Knock" "Who's there" "BOO" "BOO WHO" "No it's just BOO"

thumb_up thumb_down +21

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How can you tell if your roomate is gay? If he gets an erection when you have anal sex with him.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

thumb_up thumb_down -19

no

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them

thumb_up thumb_down -2

You're*

thumb_up thumb_down +11

The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops