I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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What did the jobless man get for Christmas? Fired...

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Why did the baby stop laughing? Would you if you pooped your pants?

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Why was the trash man feeling sad about his life? Because he had a mild case of depression to which his doctor recommended taking antidepressant pills.

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what do you do when you see a priest in a bar? tell him that is un richeous and he shall pay for his sins right before you kill him

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Q: What's your favorite song? A: Not one in particular. I like all kinds of music.

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What do you call a man floating in a pool with his arms chopped off? A murder victim.

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What did the FBI agent say to the CIA agent. We're both agents

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A man was walking through the woods when he comes across a little girl crying by a lake. "What is the matter little girl?" he asked. "My cat fell in the lake ... and it couldn't swim ... so my father jumped in as well and drowned too," she cried," Sad, the man sighed, pulled down his pants and said, "Well I guess today's just not your day,"

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Why did the polar bear die? Global warming.

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1 man walks up to a tiger and eats cheese toast with brownies and butter and wonders about the stars the end james

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There were two elephants in a bathtub. One elephant says, "Hey, could you pass the soap." The other replies, "No soap, radio."

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How do you stop a baby from making bad grades? You throw a javelin at its head.

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hi im paul ! im an alien :D tyuioyt5rtyuikfuhgdehjdhfghjhgfjjhfjfjdjdjd i pe out of my finger :D

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A man walks into a restaurant and orders a rare steak. Soon after, he gets food poisoning.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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Rather rich and healthy, then poor and sick.

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What do you call it when you mix a raccoon with an 18-wheeler? A bloody mess on the highway. That smells like cheese

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How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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What did the girl say when she arrived at the party? "I like what you did with the furniture!"

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What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

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''In Austin, Texas, President Obama told an audience, 'If you want to go forward you put your car in 'D.' If you want to go backward, you put your car in 'R.'' But you know something? Either way, the economy is still F'd.''

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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