What did little John get for his birthday? No sort of disease or illness of any kind because he was in perfect health. He also got an Xbox.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what do you call a professional gamer Their name

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Your mom is so fat..., that she died of a heart attack at an early age and everyone mourned her greatl

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a piano and a goldfish? One's a piano, the other is a goldfish.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Wanna know a funny word? Pickle-weasel.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

how do you fit 100 jews in a mini ? two in the front, two in theback and 96 in the ash tray

thumb_up thumb_down +4

roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up you retarded poet!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what happens when you throw a green rock into the red sea? -- it gets wet

thumb_up thumb_down -7

how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

a black man and his girlfriend are in a car, who is driving? the cop

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock Knock Whos there? It was the unexpected arrival of his wifes lover who'd been having an affair with her for over a year She thought her husband would be out and forgot to tell him not to come The husband started breaking down in tears whilst throwing insults at both of them, grabbing the man by his collar and throwing him on the ground he started to kick his head in The man died and the husband and wife divorced, theres now a bench in the mans local park dedicated to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did the little boy drop his icecream? he was hit by a train

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the Watermelon say to its baby? I'll SEED you later!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: How do you make a clown frown? A: Hit it with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

whoever said we're all soft on the inside was probably not an experienced doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the guy crash? He was texting.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Matt Gregory Harrington is a bender, pylon, hoser, duster tripod, and puck bunny!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I have two friends, Jeffrey and Barbara. You might think that Jeffrey likes sports and beer, and that Barbara likes knitting and cooking. But you'd be wrong, Barbara is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

A white kid, a black kid, and an Asian kid all try out for the basketball team. Which one makes the team? All of them, because they are all very good.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why do reindeer pull Santa's Sleigh? Because Santa won't feed them if they don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

have you seen the movie, Constipated? Never mind, it hasn't come out yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops