Roses are black Violets are black Grass is blac- Oh wait, it's night time. I'll be back in 12 hours.

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YOU IS DUM

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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how did the fat guy fall off the swing? the chain on the right side broke because of is eccesive weight that he probably should have lost last year on biggest loser.

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An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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How do you make a baby cry? Drop a brick on its head.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile. get in the batmobile.

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What is green and red all over? The Hulk's Penis in a blender

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Why does Matt Daly do in his free time? it involves his finger and his own buttwhole

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Why did the car drink Slurpies? I don't know. Why? Doorknob. Carl was unsure on what his friend, Frank meant when he told his joke, but then again who IS sure? Frank is the only one who truly knows what happened that day on August 13th 2010 when his mother came over for a surprise visit to her son's house just as Frank was heading out the door about to get in his truck and buy groceries, unaware that his mother was standing outside and bending over to ring the door bell not to expect Frank opening the door with his quick and violent actions thus hitting his mother in the face as the door swung open. Frank hadn't known his mother was at his house nor even remembered him but there she was, past out bleeding to death on his front lawn. It was Frank's fault that day, when his mother past away and reason why Frank hides his anger through his jokes. If only he hadn't opened that door he tells himself every night. Now he's cursed himself with his odd humour of using doorknobs as punchlines to hide his grief of his loss. And with that, Carl replies; Ummm.... I don't get it.

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A man knocks on a wooden door. A woman says who is it?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he is concerned about his fitness and decided to walk to work instead of drive.

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equality for women

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I don't always finish my sentences but when I do...

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honest politician

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Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

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why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

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A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

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Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

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why couldnt james zatts swim? he was half black

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Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he already ate his dog.

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What's the difference between Justin Bieber and R. Kelly? One is an arrogant asshole known for pissing on things, the other is R. Kelly.

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My wife's star sign was Cancer and its quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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