why was the chinese man so good at math it was his favorite subject

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Two men walk into a bar and begin ordering drinks. Both men engage in polite conversation with each other. At the end of the night they each take taxi's home because they realize the potential risk they pose to others if they drive intoxicated.

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Hurricane Irene.

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SEX IS LIKE MATH ADD THE BED SUBTRACT THECLOTHES DIVIDE THE LEGS AND PRAY U DONT MULTIPLY!!!!

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What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

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Q. Why did the boy throw up on the bus? A. All his friends around him died in the accident

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why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

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gay porn...

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose body parts were all adequate and thus could not perform any odd sexual acts upon himself.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a whore.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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A dog goes into a bar. He is wearing an eye patch. The dog says to the bartender, "Have you heard the one about the one-eyed dog?" The bartender, who is deaf in one ear, thinks the dog is making fun of him. He asks him to leave. The dog says, "Don't you have a sense of humor, deafie?" At the end of his shift, the bartender is tired of all the jokes. Today it's a one-eyed dog. Yesterday it was a horse with rickets. The day before: ants. He lives above the bar, in a small room. He spends the night alone there, listing to his battery operated radio, which picks up only a bad jazz station. He listens to bad jazz with his bad ear.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Downs Syndrome... and a ding-dong potato

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A black guy is a human being, and a pizza is a food you racist.

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I went out for a nice evening with my wife last week, and we kept getting dirty looks because I'm 42 and she's 19. I get that people are a little weird about that for whatever stupid reason, but it totally ruined our tenth anniversary.

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Why did the postal worker go to work? Because he has to support his family so they do not starve like his dog.

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What's another name for asexual reproduction? Parthenogenesis.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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Q. If you're paddling up river and you lose three tires, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? A. Purple because ice cream has no bones.

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Roses are red, violet are blue I have AIDS

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The easter bunny should be a platypus. Bunnies do not lay eggs. Platypuses do, however, and are the only mammals that lay eggs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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