A walks out of a bar and the joke is cut off by a-

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

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What's red and green and goes 100mph? A frog in a vehicle on the Autobahn.

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What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

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Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

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if life gives you lemonnde your probally halusinating

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Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

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What do you call a black Arnold Schwarzenegger? Arnold Schwarzenegger.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano? Neither has he...

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A horse walks into a bar... The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have testicular cancer........"

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why was the fat man excercizing? because he was a fatass and no one liked him

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A mother and father heard their young son sobbing in his room, so they ran upstairs to see what the problem was. When they got to his room, they found the older son was dead and hanging from the ceiling. And the younger son was actually laughing, not crying.

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You're flying above the Kansas Ocean, you lose your brakes and have to paddle all the way to shore. How many dogs can you fit on a carousel? Blue, because Ice Cream is cold.

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Two trees sit in a dark forest. Between them is a small hare. The wind blows hard and rustles the trees. The hare then looks up, and then forward. He hops away.

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What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun.

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What direction do 5 gay guys walk? I am unable to answer that because they are all aspiring to work in different occupational fields.

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What do you call a joke that isn't funny? A joke that isn't funny.

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Who ever invented the "Knock- Knock jokes" should get a "No-bell prize"

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Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot.

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Your mother is so obese that the extra weight is putting strain on her knees she now needs knee surgery.

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Q:If Ryan Vallee walks into a room what do you do? A:Walk out -Ryan V

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What's white and bobs up and down in a babies crib? A pedophiles ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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