What has equally bad consequences as breaking someone's leg in front of the local authorities? Breaking your own leg on purpose in front of the local authorities.

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What do you call a Muslim taking control of an airplane? A pilot. -Tag

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You know what helps with sholder pain? If you lick my butthole.

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The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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Q: what's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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An armed ninja walks into a bank. He is apprehended by the police, whom he tries to attack with a drawn sword, and is promptly shot down in a hail of gunfire causing civilian injuries and rather significant property damage.

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What did Canada say to America? We will not become apart of the United States where people are known as Fat Nascar lovin hicks!

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I would, but I see an older version of the kid, that suffered so much pain and agony.

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why did the boy drop his icecream? Because he got hit by a boat

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What do you look for in a woman? a pulse.

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What do you think would happen if there was a zombie apocalypse? You would just die.

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What did the blind, deaf and mute girl get for christmas? Cancer.

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roses are white, violets are black, You should probably consult with an eye doctor, for you probably have severe color blindness.

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Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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Why couldn't Sally ride a bike? She was disabled

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What do you call a woman with no arms or legs that fell off a boat fucked

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Why? Because!

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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What's 9+10 20+1-1-1+2-1-1+1-2+1

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my president is black, my lambo's blue, $14,400,000,000,000 national debt

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PISS OUT MY ASS!!!!!

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What does Jason say when he rages on cod ? I hope your family gets slaughtered in front of him ..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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