What did the onion say to the the the other other onion Ima cut you fool and make yall cry

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Today's Horoscope for Cancer: You have Cancer.

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Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a classified space mission for N.A.S.A.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was an escaped mental paitent

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What did one direction do? Nothing, their music is written by someone else they don't use whatever talent they have and they sound I million dying kittens.

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Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

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Hi, this is Luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

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every cloud has a silver lining

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what in the world is smarter than the world's smartest man? Nothing he is the smartest man.

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Chuck Norris can carry very heavy objects.

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What's the worlds best ice cream? Well overall I opinion is that because but I believe down to the but don't forget to mention that chocolate ice cream plays a huge however to flip the argument moreover I find it absurd that on the plus side four sides to tell the truth I wouldn't know to summarize the argument whereas to differ I would my final point is that Chocolate Ice cream is nice.

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What's worse than being forced to drink your own urine and eat a disabled kids poop? James Holmes (Ironic that the text I had to type in to post this was "I'M BATMAN".)

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A man is jogging down the street. He bangs his kneecap into a metal pole and shatters it. He is then hit by a giant cheese wheel and dies.

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Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

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Why is Obama black Because his parents were black

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why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

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Roses are Expensive. Violets are Gay. Poems are for pussies... Have a nice day!

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Neil is a reterd.

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What do you call people in a plane crash? Whatever, i wasn't on the plane.

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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Why did the courageous young boy always follow his dreams? His IQ sucked.

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An Asian walks into a bar and says, "1???????????"

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What's worse than dropping your phone in the toilet? Drinking only milk and honey for 7 days and then getting diarrhea while lying chained up completely naked with red fire ants going up your anus and all over your body while you get eaten alive in slow painfully miserable death

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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