How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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What's worse than losing the remote? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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What did the young boy say to the adorable kitten? "Aww"

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"Ask me a question." "No" "Cheese" ... "What?"

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God is the English name given to a singular being in theistic and deistic religions who is either the sole deity in monotheism, or a single deity in polytheism. He (I use the term 'He' as it is the most common conception) is said to be omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omnibenevolent. I highly doubt he will give you lemons.

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I was reading a book about antigravity, but I put it down because it was boring.

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A: Knock knock B: Who is it? A: You'r wife. B: My wife? A: Yes! B: Ok, then i think i pass that question.

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Why did the black man work at a Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because he was fired from his job at a grocery store, and it was the only job he could find on short notice in the current job market.

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Q: Why did the mugger kill the bus driver? A: Because he had a gun.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Carnations are cheap and they will not get you a blow job.

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Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

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Why did the little girl cry? Because she saw her future.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, the Krusty Krab is a fictional place, and therefore does not exist.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't know how to rhyme Refrigerator ------------

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Why was the black man escorted out of the bar. He was 10

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Why did the man's motorcycle not move when the street light turned green? Because it was a filing cabinet.

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why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

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Why was the little boy late for school? Because he was hit by a truck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he can make before the car hits him.

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What did one Black man say to the other Black man before they ate? I hope you're hungry!

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Why did the chicken kill himself? Because he was bullied as a child and is now suicidal

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A boy dares his friend to jump off the walking bridge. The boy's friend accepts the dare and jumps. What happens next? The boy brain is splattered on the ground.

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Q: Whats the difference between a table and a Mexican? A: You tell me.

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What do you call someone with no legs? whatever their name is, physical appearance should have no bearing on someones title.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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