What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob What do you call that same kid when he's at your doorstep? Matt What do you call that same kid when he's hanging in your room? I don't know, but you should stop calling him names.

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Why didn't the hispanic muslim woman vote for Donald Trump in the 2016 primaries? Because she lives in Connecticut where the primaries have not yet taken place.

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Why does Stuart go to Zu Bar? Because he deals cocaine to his fellow raving companions

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Don't tell anyone, the Health Department is already on our backs.

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? The black man is a human being with all of man's well-deserved rights, and the large pizza is an edible item. Furthermore, the black man, if adult and employed, has the propensity to feed a family of four far longer than a large pizza can.

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Wade's the father

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roses are red violets are blue the sugar bowls empty so is your head

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan? Their last names.

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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why did the parakeet eat the cracker? because it wanted to.

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What do you call a kid that hasnt passes 7th grade? A 6th grader

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic with a family of four and is ruining his life. -Tag

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because KFC was hiring

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A cyclist.

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Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with abnormal sized genitalia.

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Why are black people afraid of white people? They aren't

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had just been to their father's funeral, who was a Welshman.

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why did logan cross the road? to get raped by his father again

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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My friend, who has struggled with a lifelong battle against anorexia, died yesterday..." "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" "Yeah, me too. The car ran the stoplight and it was all over...

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What is in the center of our galaxy? Some stars, space, and nebula.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops