Whats the difference between a pizza and your mom? Your mom's a bitch.

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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why do they sparkle?!?!?!?!

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What Did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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What's green and red all over? That terminally ill child's vomit.

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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What three letters alter boys into men and girls into women? The letter containing their bank card, the letter containing their national insurance card and the letter accepting them into a job or higher education placement.

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If I were a cat, would you help with the toast?

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

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sadf

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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FAP

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ORGANISM. Yeah, I thought it said "orgasm" too.

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Knock Knock *opens the door*

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Penis.

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What do animals eat at the beach? Sandwitches

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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why do women have small feet. so they can stand closer to the sink

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What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. These are facts. Good day.

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knock knock who's there? john john who? john opens his mouth only to be gunned down by a terrorist attack

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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