Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm wearing pants and I'm hungry

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What's the first thing that goes through a persons mind when they get shot in the head. The bullet.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

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what do you call a dead baby in a blender? child abuse

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

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Your mom is so stupid that she was unable to make it into the college of her choice.

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whats green and walks? A cabbage, cabbages dont walk

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What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

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What's black and white and roams the sea floor? A zebra.

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Q: Whats more fun that nailing babys to a fence? A: Ripping them off.

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What did one cancer patient say to the other? Nothing, both of them were dead.

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What does the lifeguard do on his free time? Ejaculate.

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Student: This guy is bothering me! Teacher: And you expect me to do something about it?

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why couldn't the blind man hear? because he was also deaf.

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MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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How many juice does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Aodhan peanut head Hearty

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What do you call a puppy that has been left in the cold? A puppsicle

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What do Miley and Billy Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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Why was the woman so hot? she was on fire

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What is similar about a goose and newly weds? They both aren't chairs

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How do you kill a blonde? Choke her.

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why did the chicken cross the road ??? why would you care??

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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