Knock knock Who's there? Owl Owl who? Owl Johnson, your neighbor. Oh hi Owl, please come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the orange put on the sun block? Because it was afraid of turning into a TAN-gerine!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the priest do to the little crying boy in an enclosed room? He forgave the boy for his sins. Then he raped him.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Billy: Why do pirates say rrrrr? Mark: I don't know, I'm not a pirate.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the baby crying? Because you repeatly hit it in the face with a brick, you sick freak.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the boy sad? Because he looked behind him and saw a pedophile penis in his ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

who let the dogs out my mom because they're fat and need exercise

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock. Knock. Who's there? Sgt. Richard, here... your son was raped many times by Iranian soldiers, then forced to make love to many goats and had his limbs chopped off.. he will never be able to walk, talk or poop without assistance again. OH MY GOD, NO!.. WHY!!! Haha just kidding mam, he stepped on a landmine and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's brown and sticky? A black man's dick after raping you.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worst than realizing your mom is actually a transvestite? Simultaneously realizing this means you are adopted

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Johnny's pants fall down? Because he was fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Alternate ending for children: Despite the massive trauma that the spider suffered from his fall and the sheer volume of rain in the confined space of a pipe, it made a miraculous recover due to the sun coming out. It was however, forever doomed to repeat this cycle of undeath for ever more. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I don't get it

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats worse than a friend asking you if their ugly, telling them to look in the mirror.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is one plus one? I don't want to do math.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the car get sucked up by the tornado? Because it was in Pilger, Nebraska.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock, Knock Who's there? Milkman! Milkman who? ....Timmy....I've been coming here for FOURTEEN YEARS! AND YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER MY NAME?!?! I drove your mom to the hospital when you were born since your father is such a deadbeat. I helped pick out your name!! I'm sorry I wasn't born into wealth like you. I'm sorry I have to go door to door handing out milk for other people! I have been coming here every week for FOURTEEN YEARS! But no Timmy, no, don't try to remember my name. Just forget about all the laughs we have had. Or that time i left my family on Christmas because your mother needed me to go find you that Turbo man doll. I saved you from a burning vehicle! I helped you win your third grade science fair! Remember? I have a picture of us and that robot right here in my wallet. I show it to people all the time! Here's me and my...my pal Timmy. Well Timmy, this is it. You shan't see me again.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -168

Q: What do you call cheese that's not your own? A: Someone else's cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How did the mexicans get to the United States of America? By plane.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops