Winter

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whats better than sex? cookies

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, it is impossible for something to be red all over if there is black and white also.

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A rat and a pig rape a puppy. Hey, that's just life.

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what's the difference between a pile of shit and a human. a human has a mind, a pile of shit doesn't

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Your mom is so old she died

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Guy 1: Hey, do you like fish sticks? Guy2: Yeah. Guy 1: Me too

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This will be the least popular anti-joke. Dislike this joke.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Sit her in the corner and deprive her of things she likes to do.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a depressed alcoholic drug addict whose children had all been diagnosed with a rare form of terminal brain cancer, and he decided to end it then and there by jumping in front of an approaching bus.

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What did the Penis say to the Condom? Nothing. The human organ is not able to talk to another inanimate object, therefore it's impossible.

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Why was the black man sad? People were frequently talking and whispering about his dark colouring behind his back. Also he had no legs.

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a man was walking out side to get the news paper what happened next he picked up the newspaper

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A dyslexic man walks into a building labeled, Bra. He then thinks he has found heaven but is suprised when all that is served is beer, not milk.

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why was the frog sad..... because it had a science lesson with the year 10s about the insides of animals

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A guy gets murdered, because of the Reco act the whole gang he belongs to goes to jail as well. They cry in their beds

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what's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? a Jew is a person and a pizza is a food

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Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? You don't. You just shut up and listen.

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how do you get a blonde out of a tree? you politely ask her, then if all else fails call the local fire department

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Whats 1 foot long and went in and out of my girlfriend? Our new baby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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