why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

whats worse than being mentally challenged? losing your arms and legs and finding out that you have cancer

What do you call an anti joke website? http://anti-joke.com

Fucked up quotes: "When walking trough hell, keep going!" (I just turn back and walk the other way thank you, I mean worst case I walk trough heaven right?" "Never give up, ever ever ever ever ever..." (Ill just end it with etc because I gave up something as hard as... Typing?) "Curiosity killed the cat" (Translated: "Curiosity kills, stay inside forever" What?)

How do you make a blonde stupid as hell. Give birth to it

A mushroom walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We don't serve your kind." the mushroom asked why, the Bartender said, "Because your under aged"

What did Larry do when little Billys baseball crashed through his window? He raped and murdered little Billy for Larry has raped and murdered many children.

What did the Muslim do when he was in a big American crowd? He was socializing.

"Sh*t!" cursed the man. "You're such a potty mouth!" replied the unamused toilet.

i have to pee out my ass.

What's long and hard on a black man? Second Grade

What's better than a worm in your apple? No worms in your apple.

Why did Greg move to the Lake District? Because his dog died and the family is in mourning.

A man that says YOU SUCK MY DICK YEAH!finds a woman that says YOU SUCK MY BOOB YEAH!They get married,The woman is actually a gay man!

What is the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge. Why did Sally fall off her bike? She was hit by a falling monkey and fridge.

Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

CAVE JOHNSON.

Did y'all see Lafell catch that pass? Neither did I

What is brown and can't get an erection? Poo

- I'm in my mum's car, broom broom. - Get out me car. - Aw.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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