Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why'd he fall off again? Because we put him back on.

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A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: Doctor B: Doctor who? A: Doctor Johnson, i'm here to check up on you. How's the medication going? B: It's going well thank you, it's working. A: That's very good to hear. Hope you recover soon. B: Thank you!

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A paralyzed guy walks into a bar... Oh wait, he can't.

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A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

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Q: What has the exact same colors as the gay flag but are sometimes hilarious? A: Clowns.

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What do call a fly with no legs? Dead

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Being Killed

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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Drew Knowles is gay

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Was in a coma, survived trough smoke and mirrors, and I had 3 separated sections of my order in order to test the efficiency of my words, united we are about 6.800.000 people. Excuse my anger below, I mean I was in a coma and ended up on some hard painkillers, and while I am still tapering down on a "totally medicinally safe" dosage of 20 mg valium its a bitch, even for a guy that enjoys a mild painkiller every now and then in order to focus. Excuse my excessive typing, its paincontrol vs the stress and all 64 side effects of valium. I am alive, and my followers know that, I do not mean to brag, but Neronism tends to end up fucked up when I am gone with people trying to live up to what only I can do apparently, so I decided it was time to mash the separate groups together... Btw, we live at point zero now, if you do not know where that is, I can inform you at later time. But be quick about it if you have more questions, we only chat on horsehead due the "discussed hours"

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Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No, he hasn't either

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What's black and white and red all over? My dog after she was hit by a car (true story)

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myspace

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What did the retarded guy say to the other retarded guy? Youre Retarded

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Why couldn't the blind man see his friend? He was behind him.

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Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's been brutally cut open.

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

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who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

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How do you make time fly? Well! You cannot really make time fly. Imean, yeah, iguess it feels like time flies when your having fun, but it moves just as fast as always!

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Gadaffi

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A paraplegic walks into a bar.

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Water, please.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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