Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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Knock knock. Who's there? Mom. Mom who? SHUT THE F**K UP AND OPEN THE DOOR!!!

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Why was the alcoholic unable to pass a stool when he sat down on the toilet? Because he did it on the floor.

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A Tatooine moisture farmer, an old man, an astromech droid, and a potocol droid walk into a cantina at Mos Eisley Space Port. The bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve their kind here! Your droids will have to wait outside." The moisture farmer then says to his droids, "Why don't you wait out by the speeder, we don't want any trouble." The protocol droid replies, "I heartily agree, sir."

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Was that last joke funny? Well this one isn't.

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What did the police officer say to the bank robber? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense.

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A man became infected with Staphylococcal Food Poisoning. The doctor said, "You only have 24 hours to live." He died 24 hours later.

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Darude- Sandstorm

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Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and there wasn't a sufficient wheelchair ramp at his access.

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why did everyone in the swimming pool move away from the woman... because she had a miscarriage

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what happened when the boy jumped? he landed

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What happened to the peanut who went to New York City? He got a-salted

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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OneBigAssMistakeAmerica

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I am aware that my positivity makes me do some bad mistakes, but if negativity is the alternative I will keep taking my chances.

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Penis.

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If you are riding on a boat and all the wheels fall off, how many pancakes would it take to make a dog house? It does not matter because fish don't like tomatoes.

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Jesse is so fat that Roy is jealous of his big ass tits

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Why does the jailbird sing? It makes Bubba horny.

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Why did the fox cross the road Because it didn't anticipate getting mashed by the passing lorry

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what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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