Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? -- Because it was dead Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -- Because it was stapled to the squirrel

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Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

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Little Birdy: Are you my mother? Man: No, I'm a murderer. Get in the truck.

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Why did I write this anti-joke? Because I am generally not that funny.

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Guess what? what. You guessed it!!

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What do humans and fish both have in common? They both live underwater, apart from humans.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Why did the man fall off the cliff? I don't know, I have mental AIDS.

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Billy: Hey hey hey!!!!! wanna hear a dirty joke? Joe: Sure Billy: A pig fell in the mud

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why was the boy crying he had cancer

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whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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What's a Mexican's favourite sport? Cross-country running.

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Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, No Professionals."

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Q. How do you get a dinosaur off a slide? A. You tell him he hasn't lived for billions of years.

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A young blonde walks into a bar and orders a shot of tequila. After about a few minutes she spots this very ugly man with one leg. The man just so happens to sit right next to her and orders a drink. The man reeks of cockroaches and he looks like a homeless man that hasn't bathed in months. They never talk and the blonde goes home.

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Kevin stinks signed Taggart. Is this how you do it!!!

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Knock, knock. Who's there? George. George who? Oh sorry, I thought this was number 52. my mistake.

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Kindness is like peeing in your pants, Everyone can see the results, but only You can feel the warmth

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Q: Why did the little girl upset? A: Because she was part of the human centipede

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Kid: mom what happens when grandpa farts? Mom: well son... Everyone leaves the room

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, as speaking to himself is a sign of mental illness.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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ok i got one for ya 2 Penn State coaches walk in to a butt....

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How much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The Holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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