WHO'S YO DADDY? the man who's semen combined with your mother's egg to create a child.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How long was the awkward silence it took to make Justin Bieber? Really long.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

police are looking for max 'cheesehead' harrison

thumb_up thumb_down +8

without laughing try to say " i hate bubble" with a dull face

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a man with no arms? Richard, as that is his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey wahy did the third monkey fall out of the tree? it thought it was a game why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? because it had no arms why did the little girl fall off her bike? she got hit by three monkeys and a refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down +130

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: if you spend more than 10 minutes on anti-joke.com, you will soon start to see some of the problems with the user experience. name some and propose solutions. A: Well, as you said, there are many. But a huge one is all the repeat jokes. The site could really benefit from some mechanism to identify repeat jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -93

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz "Somebody left the gate open"

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A cheetah walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve re cheetah, as cheetahs are an endangered species and does not want to risk the cheetah succumbing to alcohol poisoning.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A dog walks into a bar. the owner of the bar didn't allow animal in his bar and he helped the dog outside again

thumb_up thumb_down -11

An irish man stumbles out of a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

That awkward moment when you have to tell your child you wanted an abortion, and still wish you had.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the dad say when the irresponsible goth problem child asked for a gun Yes

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's small, pale blue and sits at the bottom of the pool? "An over ripe blueberry."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

thumb_up thumb_down -12

"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the cow say to the horse? Mooo

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A woman stopped making sandwiches.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's the difference between a rock and a baby? You can't have sex with the rock.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Wow, fuzzy feelings, you just made my top 10.000 friends list. Jk, you my favorite girl right now, I mean my wife is always my favorite, but the kind of love I feel for you, is a completely different kind of love, I consider it the sum of who you are, and I cant say I love you the same, because it is a completely different feeling. Wow, I cant believe I am typing this on horsehead network, by the way Red, you better get out of here, or I am going to have to shut your operations down, sorry for getting serious in the middle of this, but we can meet and be friends, if you promise to take good care of my new friend (you), but getting out of this site, you and your crew. So, sex whenver you feel like and friends for life? How does that sound? I prefer long term agreements.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is green, slimy and has 8 legs? Uncle Martin

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops