How can you kill a blonde? Hack her to bits.

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A whore walks in to a bar. She soon finds her John and they leave to his hotel room.

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What do you call someone who kills a black person? A murderer.

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Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice carton? She was trying to read the nutrition label and had forgotten her reading glasses.

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Yo mama so fat she has more chins than the Chinese phone book. A.V.T was here Fred.

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Why did the man loose his balls? he had testicular cancer and had to get them removed.

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Roses are red, white, pink, and many other colors. Violets similarly display many color variations due to generations of ardent florists.

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How do you torture a turtle? If you came up with an answer to that question you are completely and utterly unethical and immoral.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Q: How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Leprechauns aren't real.

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A woman who lived alone with her parrot left her apartment to run to the store, forgetting that a plumber was scheduled to come and fix her sink. A few minutes later, the plumber arrived and knocked on the door. The parrot inside called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, "it's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waited for a bit and, seeing that nobody was coming to the door, knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, a little more loudly, "it's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!" Again the plumber waited. After a few more minutes, he knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber yelled, as loudly as he could, "IT'S THE PLUMBER! I'VE COME TO FIX THE SINK!" Still, nobody came to the door. The plumber banged the door repeatedly, The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screamed "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIIINK!!!" and then, consumed with rage, clutched his chest and fell over dead from a stress-induced heart attack. A few minutes later, the woman returned home and, while opening her door, noticed the plumber lying dead in her hallway. She looked at her parrot and asked, "Who is it?" The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?"

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A black man, Jew and a Mexican go camping. A bear wanders into their campsite, but upon seeing them runs away because it's afraid of humans.

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Did the owl ever reach the middle of the tootsie pop? Yes. Dreams do come true

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hi

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Why did the chicken successfully cross the road? It didn't in the middle of the street it got hit by a car.

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Knock Knock. -Who's there ? It's me. -Come in.

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What's the best sound in the world? Children screaming

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue U suck Dick Just Like Ur Dad did to u

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Why did the skeleton stay home from the party He was buried in a coffin underground and, as a matter of fact, wasn't actually invited

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A priest walks past a mailbox with the number 666 on it. Nothing happens, because it is an ordinary mailbox.

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I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

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A black man rode down the street on a bicycle.

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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Why is Scientology the Fastest Growing Religion of 21st Century? It isn't, its a cult.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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