What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. WHAT?! You are about to die and be eaten.

What starts with a P and ends with a O-R-N? Popcorn

A mexican and a black guy are in a car. Who's driving? The chauffer, they are both rich business men.

A blonde is running for her life and sees a sign that says "GO LEFT TO SURVIVE". She goes right and she survives.

Why did the potato cross the road? It didn't. A potato is a vegetable. It cannot walk, think or speak.

Why wasn't the crow allowed on the plane? He had too much carrion luggage

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's alright now.

Why didnt the man make it to work? Because he was in a fatal car accident.

I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

If frogs weren't alive, there wouldn't be any frogs left on earth.

Why did my pussy get wet? Because I splashed him with water. LOL SO FUNNY OMFG DA BEST JOKE EVA!!

A lion walks into a barber shop and asks for a haircut and the barber says no then the lion proceeds to kill everyone in the shop

What did Lance Armstrong say to his critics? I have one testical

A homosexual black man and a 13 year old child are in the shower at the local gym. The black man says to the boy "you dropped your soap, why don't you pick it up?" The boy promptly thanks the black man, picks up his soap and continues to shower.

an 80 yr old man apllies to walmart

Chuck Norris will inevitably pass away sometime in the future.

What is the easiest way to babysit a black kid? Find an activity that you can both relate to and enjoy. Hopefully after doing this for a while, the youngster will become tired and fall asleep. You can then watch TV, read or talk on your cell phone until his or her parents get home.

Why did the jewish man pick up a nickel on the street? Because he understands the value of saving money.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Reclu. Reclu who? Recluse Spider.

How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

yes... that's the joke

A Black guy and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. What does the black guy say to the Jew? "Hi".

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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