DON'T TOUCH MY DUCK, IT HAS A ONE DOLLAR BILL

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Whats green, has 4 legs and falls out a tree? A pool table

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Guess what. Chicken butt.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? To get to your house. Knock Knock Who is there. The chicken.

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Q: what happens when Justin Bieber walks into bar? A: three things, blood on the bar floor, another vister at the celebrity hospital, and Justin Bieber with knifes and darts stuck in his chest!

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A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

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My mother always said that jumping in piles of leaves was fun. That was before she was swallowed whole by a 10 foot scorpion.

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Haha pizza

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what will you never loose if you play world of warcraft your verginity

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If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

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Why is Islam the fastest growing religion? Because black people breed like rats.

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How do you estimate the number of jippos in an area? Take the dole's numbers from that area and measure how far away they are from the nearest council landfill site.

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How do you tickle a tree? you dont you are a schizo stop kicking leaves

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Roses are red violets are blue or at least that's what they tell me because I am blind

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Woof.

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An asian is doing math hw then his dad drives through the door

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Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

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Freeza: I am the strongest in the universe! (if you ignore my brother Coola which is much stronger and all...) Goku: You have pissed me off now Freeza, I will now turn into a super Asian and prove to the world that real Asians are actually blonde and blue eyed! (I am sure Goku means Sayans, which is "completely different") Goku: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG! Freeza: Omg, he... he... is trying to take a dump! IMPOSSIBLE! I will have to find his balls and caress them... Will Goku ever take a shit? Or reach all new levels of constipation during the series? Find out in the next episode of dragon ball z!

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What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven? One is a human being and the other is a resourceful appliance.

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profits evenly.

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What is green and invisible? This cabbage.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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