Your Mom is so fat.... When she's goes to McDonald's and orders 3 Big Macs the people standing in line behind her all look at her with disgust and a tinge of pity.

why did jimmy fall off the swing? because he was a tree.

what has two legs and is red all over a fireman doing his job

What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? I don't know, dinosaurs have been extinct for 200 million years.

Q.What happens when Torres scores A. He doesn't

Whats worst then finding drugs under you brothers bed finding your dead cat under his bed whats worst then finding your dead cat under your brothers bed finding your dead Gran whats even worst then that the Holocaust

whats does a dog cat spider and rat have in common?the dog cat and rat are all mammals.Exept for the rat idiot!!you should have figured THAT out before!!!

a man walks off of a damn. a damn is not a noun, thus nobody can walk off it

What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A; On the other side was another beautiful looking chicken who he plans to marry and raise a family with.

Why do Jews circumcise their children.......because they like everything 10% off

What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

Pirate ships are used by pirates.

Q: What do yoiuo call an Italian butler? A: Vinny

Scrooge McDuck dives headfirst into his pool of gold coins... He breaks his neck from the impact of the landing and dies.

Why are black people good at basketball? Because they train hard and practice daily.

Tyler Bishop is a waffle

How do you get 100 Jews into a car? You can't. It's physically impossible.

Adam and Eve ate the apple and felt a bit ashamed and stuff. God looked upon them and said, well its just a fucking apple get outta here you kids! Adam and Eve also took things a bit too literal

A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

Bob Saget that is all

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he accidently dropped it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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