- Anti Joke

What do you call a box with a dead Jew in? A coffin.

Whats better than finding a hot girl in your room? nothing

Why did sam and jolanda drop their pudding? They got hit by a flying tree.

Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a classified space mission for N.A.S.A.

Roses Are Red I Have A Phone Nobody Txts Me Forever Alone

If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

Dislike if you're a virgin ;)

Knock knock Come in

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You smell like lead, I did a poo.

What do Bruce Lee and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both dead

A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

whats worse than dropping your ice cream down the stairs? dropping your baby down the stairs

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, wanna f***.

We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but You're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it And if you ask me how I'm feeling Don't tell me you're too blind to see Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you (Ooh, give you up) (Ooh, give you up) Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but You're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

Men's Rights

whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

Why did the pig walk into the bar Because he was thirsty

What do you call 25 college teens at a party? A good time.

What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

Hey

What's worse then spilling milk? Instantaneous Human Combustion

So a guy with no legs and no arms is on his death bed. He asks to sky dive one time before he dies.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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