What would happen if you put avocando, pineapple, sardines, peanut butter, brussel sprouts and milk into a blender and drank it. most probabley salmonala poisoning because the sardines were off.

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I treat women like I treat dead bodies. With respect.

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Selena Gomez, Victoria Justice, and Arianna Grande walk into a bar. They were making a movie.

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What is better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being retarded

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? lts of stuff like murder, rape, slavery, poverty, mindcontrol, mass genocide, the holocaust, racism, plagarism, physichal assault, war, terrorism, massacres, onsloughts, necrophillia, the dead rising, zombies, jokes on antijokes.com, awkward situations, dieing, cancer, ADHD, other mental illnesses, paint, the grim reaper, shinigami, stereotyping foreigners, prejudicism, bullying, armed robbery, hacking, viruses, incest, feral animals, getting lost in the forest, arsonry, pyromania, passing out in a bar, meeting a serial killer, and finding 2 worms in your apple.

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What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

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An englishman, a scotsman and an irishman walk into a bar together. They sit down at the bar, and the barman says, "What is this, some kind of joke?!"

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Q: What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? A: Nothing, he's Jewish.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

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Roses are red, Violets are blue this poem sucks, GET OVER IT -brett

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An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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why did the black man go to court he was a lawyer it's is job

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A woman walks into a bar. Since having equal rights, she too falls unconcious..... Several men walk toward the bar

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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So two Jews walk into a bar... Its nice that they take missionary work to new heights

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Potatoes have skin. I have skin. Therefore, I am a potato.

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What do you call a muslim in an airplane? Whatever his name may be, though you could, of course, choose not to address him, though if it were a two-seater plane, it would be good manners to exchange polite conversation.

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? a pizza doesn't yell when it goes into an oven

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"Where's your mom?' "She died last night. . ."

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How many vikings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Probably just one, though I'd imagine it hard to teach someone from the 9th century C.E. how to, let alone explain electricity.

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a mother: my little boy always asks me to take him to see dinosaurs...but they are extinct. me: take him to a museum you dumb bitch!

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Whats worse than a joke? This

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For anti-joke.com, there should be a section called "Hot" that shows new jokes which are given 5 thumbs up or up. This way we would get new jokes on the popular section instead of having the same ones for a very long time. I know this isn't a joke, but thumbs up if you agree.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a gardener

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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