What type of vision does an Asian person have? 0-0 because he is blind

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh

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How are a bucket and a purple shovel alike? Coincidentally they both are registered sex offenders.

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How fast do Jews cook? It depends how many you have in the oven at once.

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He showed his passport, and the correct documents & information, and was admitted into the country as a new American citizen.

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Q;what do you call a fish with two knees and personally HANDS out JOBS A: a blowfish

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Justin Bieber is a good singer.

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What did one penguin say to the other Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. WHAT?! You are about to die and be eaten.

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Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she is a fictional character.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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What's the difference between a tigar and a shark? One's a land mammal.

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What grows on trees and is woody? Wood.

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What did the astronaunt say to the doctor? Hola!

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What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

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1.Roses Are Gray, Violets Are Gray. I Am A Dog. Can I Eat Your Leg? 2.What Did The Sandwiches Say To The Grilled Cheese? Nothing. Sandwiches Can't Talk Due to The Lack Of Organs.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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How did the girl get her Mardi Gras beads? She purchased them at a reasonable price from a party store.

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Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am a dog.

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Why did the black man steal the mountain bike? He didn't. He purchased and payed for the mountain bike.

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Why isnt Gemma a Surfboarder? .. Because She was a Stillborn. Why isn't Kate a Ballerina? Because She's paralysed. Why isnt Tommy an Olympic High Jumper? Because He's a dwarf.

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Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

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Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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