Why was Jimmy sad? Because he was about to be shot for attempting to assassinate the president.

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Why did the christian go into the church? To pray.

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Knock knock. "Whose there?" "Dave" Oh alright Dave, two seconds I have got to unlock the door~looks for and finds keys and unlocks door~ Hello Dave, sorry mate not been out yet so not been out, come in.........

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Knock knock Who's there? Timmy Timmy who? Timmy Smith

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why did the chicken cross the road? dunno. i wasnt there.

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What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It depends on the person. To generalize and select one sport to represent the entire race would be stereotyping.

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What do you call a Chinese person with a computer for a head? Dead because it is impossible for your heart to function with out a brain

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Orange ya glad i didn't say banana

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What do you call a girl with one leg at your door step? Ilean

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it with an axe.

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Superman vs Batman real fight: Batman: Hmm I believe that Superman might want to fight m*squish* Batman explodes in a bunch of meat as a blue and red blur is seen fly by. Extended Edition: Batman: Hah Superman I got kryptonite gloves so if you would just stand close to them for about five minute...*squish* Batsack of meat left we see nothing because Superman is FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET. They are probably gonna go like every fucking crossover, first they squabble and throw a few punches for five minutes, then they realize that the LAX LADDER LEX LUGER AND LEX LUTHOR brothers made up some fake story so sups and bts kill each other while they blow up the world, so Btz, and Soup end up beating them up... Moral: "PFF! BATMAN HAS BEATEN UP SUPERMAN AND THE HULK IN THOUSANDS OF SHlTTY NON CANON STORIES!" (In where the one with the Hulk described the hulk to have the instincts and combat skills of a "dumb, animal like confused ape" yes actual quote, Batman punched this confused green ape across a door and kept beating "The Hulk" up as he ran around in "animalistic fear and "rage" receiving random kicks by Batman, then Btz throws some capsule that turns into a fishbowl with no oxygen that chokes The Hulk (supposedly to death) in a few seconds... The Hulk can like hold his breath for YEARS in space, (but you know these lethal fishbowls)

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what did the orange say to the other orange? we are both oranges.

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You are a special guy, and I mean that in a really sweet way, but a retard no. Synapses, tell me more please.

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Why did the maid have to clean feces off the wall? Because I shit cannoned it.

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What happens when some one breaks apart your little brother's lego tower? You have a screaming little brother and a bunch of legos all over the floor.

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an dislexik nam rwote hits

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What did my wife say when I asked her to pick up some milk on her way home from work? OK

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Why did the little boy grow up to be a homosexual man? He didn't find the female reproductive system sexually appealing

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What did the man say to the other man? Hi

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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A pirate walks out of a bar. He drowns in a puddle.

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What did the red apple say when it saw a black man an irish man, and an asian walk into a bar? nothing apples cant talk.

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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