How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? One.

There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

Why are black people afraid of chainsaws. Because they have razor sharp edges and can slice through flesh very easily, posing a potential threat if possessed by a violent person.

Why is the baby on fire? Because there was a gas leak at the day care facility. It would have been a terrible tragedy had a heroic babysitter not come to the rescue.

What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

How did the man with no legs get around? He was assisted by a nurse or relative who was kind enough to take on such a task.

Matt is not funny.

what did the little boy see when he walked into his parents bed room a bed

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having sexaual relations with your own mother.

What did the 11 year old boy get for christmas? A wet dream

What's worse than the holocaust? 3,000,000 jews.

hit the thumbs down button

knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

there were 2 sausages in a frying pan. One sausage says it sure is hot in here. The other one says WTF a talking sausage!

When is a Jewish persons bedtime? When the brain releases endorphins, causing drowsiness, which usually leads one to sleep.

A Woman out of the kitchen

Your momma's so fat: She fears a lower life expectancy and consequently not seeing her grandchildren grow up.

You having friends.

why did the baby die because it was diagnosed with lukimia

A catholic priest gets a nun pregnant. He drowns the baby several months later.

knock knock Dave's not here.

A seal walks into a club. Do you like my new shoes?

What do you call it when a blonde jumps off the Empire State Building without a parachute? Suicide.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...