Jacob Black and Edward Cullen show up at your house. You tell your best girl friend and she has you admitted to a psych ward because everyone knows they are fictional characters!

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A man walks into a bar in the morning. He is the bartender, and he works there.

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where are you?

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What do you call a bunch of black people hanging out in a barn? African American farmers socializing.

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

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Why couldnt the man find his wallet? He didnt have one

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Why did the man lose the spelling bee? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? K

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A man walked into a bar Ouch.

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What do you call a black guy holding a crate of watermelons? a farmer

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what did blonde say to the square? ur a square which is comprised of four equal sides and always have four lines of symmetry.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

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What is older than history?

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Roofs are Red...I have a Cunt!!!

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? She was hungry

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what did hercules parents tell him? You're adopted

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whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

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A Jew finally tipped He was in a canoe

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Your mama's so fat, that at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to diet and exercise before her obesity manifested itself in a variety of chronic afflictions that would detract from her ability to lead a long life.

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What do you get when you eat all potatoes Their all gone

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your girlfriend is so dumb she is clinically retareded

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

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A minor, her mom, her aunt and a marine went out drinking...they had a fun night

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops