What do you call a dear with no eyes? no eyed dear what do you call a dear with no head? dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? The list goes on.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock knock. Who's there? Big Brother. Big Brother who? That's right. ALL are who, Akbar!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you stop a bus? You press the brake pedal, causing the brake pads to squeeze the tires. Which will slow the momentum of the bus to the point of stopping.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a whore, Let's have sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What the problem with writing an anti-joke? Trying to not come up with a punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your mamma's so obese that she can't stand up. She's been like this for years. That's because she's dead. She died of cardiovascular-related diseases.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A guy finds a genie bottle. He rubs it. A genie appears and grant him 3 wishes. He wishes for a splendid woman, a lot of money, and a house.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a muslim who is not a terrorist ? A muslim

thumb_up thumb_down -3

(insert antijoke here

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Hey connor and brett its ben, you are both at my house

thumb_up thumb_down -9

"Almost as accidental as your spelling I'm afraid." -...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If you have read this its to late. You have already read this. Im am very sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Don't tease the fat kids. They have enough on their plates.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walked into a bar and suffered a mild concusion.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

there was this kid who was perfectly well-adjusted, had most normal things a person needs and a generally good life. what did he get for Christmas. non-hodgkins lymphoma.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are gray Violets are gray ROFL I'm a dog

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you starve a Somalian? Too late.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

A knock knock B who's there A nobody

thumb_up thumb_down -17

where do cows go on dates? the slaughter house

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops