There are 2 Muffins in an oven in a bakery. The first muffin says "Is it hot in here , or is it just me?" The other muffin says " We are going to die in here and no one will here us screaming."

out of your comfort zone

I have an erection My mom!

MATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

Why can't Amy winehouse drive? She's dead.

BEST PLACE IN THE WORLD COPENHAGEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why doesn't Michael J. Fox drive a stick shift? He was raised in an urban area and was only taught to maneuver with vehicles that shifted automatically.

Fuzzy Wuzzy was A bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy went through chemo. Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy was he?

Knock, knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who?

what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

How did the Mexican get into the U.S.A.? He came in legally, and got his green card. He then continued his life as a business man and won the lottery four years later for 5 million dollars. He then bought a cool television, he also had children and put the money in their college funds later.

What do you get if you cross a chicken and a potato? Answer- Chicken tasted potato

Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To retrieve his dead relatives in the middle of the street.

How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

Why did the house get trashed? Cause the babysitter was a rooster

A man walks into a bar and sees a depressed looking giraffe. The man says, “Why the long neck?” The giraffe responds, “That’s not the expression.”

Going out for a quiet one, having a drink or two, and returning home.

There is a 5 second long and extremely depressing video, most cant watch it for any longer than 6 seconds

Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

Q)What is the best way to get the bitches? A) You shouldn't try. You could go to prison on bestiality charges.

What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Hey bill

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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