What do you call a dog without a bone? Floppy.

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Why was Frankenstein green? Because he painted himself green. Frankenstein is the scientist, not the monster.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? No one knows, he didn't leave a note.

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Why did the priest take a little boy into the back room? To talk about the boy's future.

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What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? Because he's dead.

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My mom always said that jumping in a pile of leaves was fun! That was before a 20 foot long iguana bit her head off...

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do you know what i see in the perfect girl? my dick.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog.

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Hey man how was the trip to Hiroshima? Great it blew my mind!! And how was Nagasaki ? It was the bomb!!

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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How do you get all the apples off of an apple tree? You pick them

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Your Mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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What's big and white and can't climb trees? A mattress

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In soviet russia, roses are violet

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? George Bush

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There were 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They all had different colors of hair because hair color varies depending on genetics.

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Boy 1: Hey do you want my last chewing gum? Boy 2: Yeah please! Boy 1: Same. The boy continues to eat the chewing gum and finishes his shit wandering why the boy walked into the same cubicle as him.

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Q: What did Bobby get for his first birthday ? A: Adoption papers

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What kind of nun would never drink milk? One who suffers from a severe lactose intolerance.

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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Why did the sheriff cross the road? Cuz I told him to.

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What's funny about 3 black men in a car going off a cliff? Nothing. They were my friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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