Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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Two fish are in a tank. The first one says, "How the heck do I drive this thing!".

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kennah campion when she talks

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Two pies where sitting in a oven when one of the pies says: God damn it's hot in here. The other pie screams out loud: HOLY SHIT A TALKING PIE!

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Q: What is the fastest way to get insulted? A: Go screw yourself m0therf0cker!

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What's Hitler's favorite beverage? Soda! Not Juice (jews) you asshat!

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Q: What would happen if you didn't sleep all night? A: You would probably be really tired and start seeing things and speaking strange sentences as a result.

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A man walks into a bar He is STD positive.

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4 men walk into a bar... Don't jump to conclusions! They were gay.

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Why are Chinese people only allowed one child? Because their government states so.

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When Life Gives You Melons... You're Probably Dyslexic.

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roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

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Was the worlds most expensive comedian any fun? Well, he was funny, but they where all cheap laughs. Moral: Expensive jokes are expensive.

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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What is invisible and smells like rabbits? Bunny farts.

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What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

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how do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? with a blender. how do you get them back out of the bowl? with tortila chips.

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Q: Whats the difference between a pile of dead babys and a Ferrari? A: I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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Why didn't the 34 year old woman fit into some size 14 jeans? Because she was size 16.

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Your mother is so fat, she is at great risk for developing diabetes mellitus type 2.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

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A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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