What did the woman say when she lost her purse? Where's my purse?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats green and has wheels? A Rednecks front lawn.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is the difference between a rose and a grape? They are both purple.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why was the boy crying? Because he got hit by a bus. Why did he get hit by a bus? Because his mom was laughing. Why was his mom laughing? Because she was driving the bus. Why was she driving the bus? Because the boy fell off a swing. Why did he fall off a swing? Because he didn't have any arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because his diabetic monkey had the flu. Why did his diabetic monkey have the flu? Because the boy was crying.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the skeleton stay home from the party He was buried in a coffin underground and, as a matter of fact, wasn't actually invited

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the orphan say to the other orphan? Annie is my favorite movie.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Once upon a time, a boy sat on a hedgehog. He abruptly stood up, as the spikes had caused him a certain amount of discomfort.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the boy's mother say to her daughter when she walked in on her father having sex with her grandmother? The grandfather said "how are you"? He wasn't a part of that fiasco. However I'm sure that whoever saw what was confused and looking for answers.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do a fish and a bird have in common? They both live under water. Apart from the bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Who has downs this joke

thumb_up thumb_down -14

knock knock? who's there? ted? ted who? stop f***ing around, you got cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the man die? A fridge fell on him.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q. Why is me question not funny? A. Because there is no point to it.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why were the Dinosaurs wiped out? Porridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q.) What do you call a black man on the moon? A.) An astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".

thumb_up thumb_down -48

What do you get when you combine a potato and an apple? A nice Apple Potato Souffle...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Cheese in toast,

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I saw a man lying on the floor. He ate too much cake.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops