Whats very large and produces alot of seamen. The US navy

What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? a pilot.

why did the dentist quit his job because he had saved up enough money for his retirement

Hitler: I said PASS THE JUICE! not GAS THE JEWS!

a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse does not say anything because its a horse and horses cannot talk.

What is brown and sticky? Syrup.

Hitler is my role model

What's black and white, and red all over ? A penguin in a blender.

Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

the love boat

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

Knock Knock Who's there The military. We're under attack. The military we're under attack who? Dinos

How did the man open the car? He opened in.

Whats the difference between a black baby and white baby? I raped the black baby

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

Q. What do you call a retarted guy? A. Whatever his name happens to be

So a woman is in the kitchen. And she makes the most delicious turkey salad for her 4 hungry children and her husband. They love Jesus

Hats better than a stick? A stone

Q:What's worse than stepping on lego? A:Hiroshima.

A girl that had Malaria couldn't play with her friends, whys this? She died.

What starts with D and ends with ICK? Drumstick.

what do you do when you forget to do your math homework? kill your teacher

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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