james schmitt whats your last name

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Roses are rde, violets are bule, I am dyslexic, how about you?

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Why did the black man commit suicide? Because the white man murdered him.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in water? Drowning

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What did the black cat say to the tabby cat?? Meow

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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think twice or at least think

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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A man walks into a bar, asks for a drink. He then realises that it was a metal bar and not one that serves alcoholic beverages. He then ponders the mysteries of the world and the universe.

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Why did the pig have a band-aid? Because he had a whole in his foot.

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Whats black and white with red all over? A dead panda

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HEY!

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Three men walk into a bar. You'd think one of them would have seen it.

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How is a hamster like a cigarette? They are harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire

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What do you put in a toaster? Toast, oh wait, it's bread

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What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? An amputation.

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how many dirty stinkin apes does it take to put in a lightbulb? 3 dirty stinkin apes, 1 dirty stinkin ape to put in the lightbulb and 2 dirty stinkin apes to throw feces at each other

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What's worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The holoca- *the man hearing the joke then pulls out a desert eagle and shoots the man in the chest before finishing the joke then goes to jail for the rest of his life*

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What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

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Why does it take women to cum slower than men? Who cares

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.

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The early bird gets the worm. The rest of them die of starvation.

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Why can't the T-rex clap? Because it's extinct

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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