So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Why is this the best day of 10 year old Johnny's life? His parents were killed in 9/11, and Osama Bin Laden has been found and killed. What, Too soon?

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why did the chicken cross the road because on the other side his wife that he had loved for years was being tortured and he was trying to save her life.

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what goes ha ha ha ..plop? We are all going to die.

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N****R = nice israeli girl great education rich

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What is 1 + 1 equal to? 2, because if you have one orange and if you add another orange, you will have 2 oranges, therefore 1 plus 1 is 2.

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How do you kill a blonde? A gun, knife, there are a number of ways really...

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Roses are Red grass is greener every time i think of you i touch my weiner

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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whats brown and half eaten? yeah an easter egg that a parent has given to there son/daughter before dinner

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What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

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BIG MAC'S

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911 joke ? now thats just plane rude.

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Q: What's black and blue and red all over? A: I'm not sure. If it's red all over, it's not going to be black or blue.

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Yo momma so ugly that she is unpleasant to look at

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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What did the bartender say to the three-legged Irishman? What can I get you?

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"Do you know the joke about the No and Me Neither?" "No..." "Me neither."

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What's the best thing about shrimp? It never goes bad.

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

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Did you know that if you took all the elephants on earth and lined them up in space, that all the elephants would die???

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Your mom is so fat, I do not see how she can possibly wipe effectively.

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Xbox One

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Doctor doctor, i think i need glasses! Go to an opticians then...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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