Why did the robber wear a mask? Because he had eczema.

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Your mom was so fat, She was overweight.

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William came home from school and was very tired. He went to the kitchen and got a chocolate bar. Then he died.

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What did the adverb say to the noun? Hopefully whale.

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What happened when the turtle rolled over on his back? It proceeded to die because it couldnt find a way to roll over. An African tribe then decided to make the recently decised turtle into a delicious soup that lasted him and his family three days.

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Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? -A haircut

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A bar walks into a man

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

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What's brown, smells like shit, and are annoying as hell? Taking shits

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How long does it take for a black woman to have a shit. 9 months.

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What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

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why was ej's penis hard? because he had just got done having fine exquisit sex which he had ejaculated with a sturn body builder name frank who he had been seeing for the past few months.

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Why is the white man sad? Because he watched the titanic

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Whats the differwnce between a little girl and a fridge? The fridge doesnt scream when i put meat in it

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When life gives you lemons, throw them away. Nobody likes lemons.

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whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

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What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

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Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen Bug? Four, maybe 3, depending on the size of each person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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