Q: What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: A funeral.

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What do you call a black man that steal from your shop? A thief

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How do you piss off a redneck? You wait until he is done fucking his sister and then you steal his truck.

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what do you call a dog? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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If life gives you melons.. You're just plain retarded.

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Why wasn't the boy at his basketball game? - Because he, his twin brother, and pregnant mother all died in a fatal car accident involving a train on the way their.

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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What's worse then finding 10 babies in 1 trashcan? Finding 1 baby in 10 trashcans.

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Why did little Billy fall off his bike? Anwser: because a refridgator hit him.

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What do divorce and a loose bear in a zoo have in common? They both tear families apart

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Why did the man die? Because he was unpopular and someone killed him with a gun. He is now dead. RIP.

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A man walks into a bar he said oww when did this metel bar get here

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A Mexican walks into an all white people bar. He then proceeds to buy rounds for everyone in the bar. Everyone thanks the mexican and everyone gets back to doing their own thing.

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How did the child cross the road? He couldn't his legs had been lost in an awful car accident that had killed his whole family.

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What's green and frolics in the forest? A flock of cucumbers.

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What looks like half a loaf of bread. The other half

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Hillary Clinton and 2 male aides were on a plane on a Friday evening which us not unusual for a secretary of state.

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Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

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What did the old women do when she found her husband dead? She had a heart attack and died as well.

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knock knock who's there me i kill you

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Harold Camping and the May 21st 2011 rapture.....

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Why do deer have horns? Because god made them that way.

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Why would you call a child douche bag? Cause they're sterile

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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