What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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What did Helen Keller see on her trip? Nothing

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Whats black and white and red all over?.. The L.A. Race Riots.

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a cat a dog and a penis meet up. The cat said ur lucky, when you have to pee u can go wherever you want. the dog said your lucky you can go in a litter box. the penis said your lucky u dont have to put a ballon over your head and do pushups till you throw up!!!

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Joe: Will you remember me tomorrow? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next week? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next month? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next year? Mack: Yes Joe: Knock knock Mack: Who's there? Joe: See you forgot me already! Mack: No I didn't Joe, I thought you were going to tell me a knock knock joke. :/

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A drunkard walked into a bar, and up to the bartender. He proceeded to **** the **** until he ******. I proceeded to break down in immense frustration over censorship.

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Why did Rainey fall off the swing? She had no hair.

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What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAM!

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My dick

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knock, knock. use the doorbell next time.

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Q: If 0+0=2 and four shampoo bottles is equal to two toaster strudels, how many pizza slices can Samuel eat? A: Winter because grass=6

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Why was Little Susie's IQ less than 30? Because, she is mentally retarted.

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Hi poop!

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What happened to the blind boy? He went deaf.. helen kellered....

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did I get thumbs down from everyone? Answer: Because they hate my anti-joke.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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How does a black man cut his hair? At a hairdresser

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Do you know what's not right? Left.

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How many dull people does it take to replace a lightbulb? One.

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Why did the boy not turn in his homework? Because his pet ate it.

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Why did Jimmy fail his math test? Because he had a mental disability

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Superman and Batman get in a fight, who wins? No one the world has just lost a superhero.

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A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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