Is your Alzheimers getting better? I have alzeimers?...

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down

A 21 year old man walks into a bar with a vase of 12 roses. 57 years later he died after a lengthy battle with colon cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Did you here about the man who dropped a glass? It broke.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did John fall off his bike? Because, he is a fish and fish cannot ride bikes.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did John fall down the stairs? Because John is a paraplegic and there wasn't a sufficient wheelchair ramp at his access.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Guy: Hey, you want to dance with me? Girl: Who me? Guy: Nooo that bench over there...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Jacob Edwards has friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Black Ops? That sounds illegal. Anyway, what do you mean you are a employee only? I mean if you where a fed, you would either be on the top, or be an employee no?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

"Is your fridge running?" "Yes, I believe so" "You'd better go make sure, because I put some chicken in there and it didn't seem very cold to me"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Jimmy miss a question on his test? He put D

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What happens when you get hit in the face? You get hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why do we have school? 2 learn duh y r u even askin? ur STOOPIDE!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What would Loiter Squad be if the characters were white? A show.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many Weasleys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why was the girl raped? she left the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

went to mass. remembered to say with your spirit.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Christopher Walken to a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops