Roses are red Violets are blue you smaell funny just like my poo! this came from the BOTTOM of our hearts!

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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What do you call a disease caused by an uncontrolled division of abnormal cells in a part of the body? Cancer.

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What do you say to two cows? Hey cows.

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A lion and a cheetah raced each other and the cheetah won Lion: "man you're a cheetah!" Cheetah: "no you're lion!" Then the cheetah tears off the lions head and feeds it to their babies

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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why do women have small feet. so they can stand closer to the sink

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That guy is so lame, he needs a wheelchair to go places.

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Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

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A Black guy and a Mexican guy walk into the bar. The bar tender offers to buy them a round of drinks because he can tell they had a hard day at the office.

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the power to turn magnetism into light

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Why don't elderly people act their age? because they die.

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An Atheist sneezed. Everyone around him said, "God bless you." He thanked them and continued on with his day.

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Shoot her in the head

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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to boys are playing football 1 ses pass tje over ses pass wot

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2 men walk into a bar. You would have expected the second one to notice it after the first guy walked into it.

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Five Mexicans were driving down the motorway in a Ford. Must've been a Fiesta.

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whats worse than four babies in a box? one baby in four boxes

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate you, Go die in a hole.

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Come on Red, I am linked with the fucking global bank, that does not mean I go there and get the money! The FBI keeps tabs on absolutely everything, everybody knows that, if Mike Tyson has a cup of tea there, they file him down. Its legal, its secure and incredibly expensive, but the FBI stands for the security of the US alone, that does not mean that they do not work with every other corporation, organization, affiliation,syndicate, and pff, anything. If you suspect that I somehow went from being one of the key members of the underground, to a fucking FBI agent, you can believe that, but then dont ask me for help, nor be my friend, without trust there is no friendship.

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Whats worse than finding a spider in your shower? Getting repeatedly stabbed in the dick by a rapid chipmunk.

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what do you do to get a guy to vomit?? kick him in the balls!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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