Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was asalted

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink Bartender: Why the long face Man: My wife was recently killed in a horrible car accident Bartender: Oh my god, I'm so sorry Man: Jks I have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a horse with wings and a horn on his head? Drunk

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what did the lawyer say to the other lawer? we are both lawyers

thumb_up thumb_down +8,971

What happens when 4 friends throw an egg into oncoming traffic, they hit a fire hydrant!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock Come in. Thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

An American, an Indian and an African walked into a bar. They had a memorable time together.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man walks into a bar... And orders a drink

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A student exclaimed "This test is a piece of cake!" He ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the man name his son David? He didn't. It was his wife's choice.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

josh roberts goes into churches and forces them to listen and go by his religious opinion until they cry

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what did the parapelegic (limbless) kid get for his birthday? Heart failure

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. (do you get it cause the robot has no arms)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the boy with no arms get in his Christmas card? We don't know, he's yet to open it.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

ok everybody to make this more simple we all have to line up alphabetically by height.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

You should really respect vegetables more. They rock. They're all like... AAAHH!!!... and I'm all like... DUDE! THAT'S SO INCREDIBLY RANDOM!... and seriously, you should respect da veggies!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How many pencils does it take to get an A on a test? Actually it takes knowledge.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the scuba diver say to his partner when he got stuck in some seaweed. Something that sort of sounded like glug, or maybe blub, or some other sound you would hear trying to talk underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why couldn't Jimmy run in the track race? Because he has been paralyzed since he was 3, due to a horrible accident

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between a guy who sees the glass half empty and a guy who sees the glass half full? The first guy is happier because his tables tip more than the second guy's.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What was Helen Keller's favorite activity? fingering herself...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do chickens, pictures and babies have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the black man apply for a job at kfc? His family was in debt after the loss of his father.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops