My son made a tree fort, it burned down.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one. he was an electrician

thumb_up thumb_down +1,526

read this sentence again.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She had just prepared her breakfast and was late for her full-time job as a firefighter.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,591

If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

thumb_up thumb_down +34

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? A healthy, balanced diet consisting of all food groups, unless they are vegetarian or vegan, hence they will not consume any meats or animal products.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I got put through anger management when I was a child it made me mad.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He has been diagnosed with chronic insomnia.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

why did the chicken cross the street i dont know thats why im asking you

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock! Who's there? Oh, they were just nailing a notice of foreclosure to the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A daring man proclaimed "Well, here goes nothing!" And nothing happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,792

What do you tell the woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white, and Pansies are pink.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,508

Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What in the world is that thing in her butt!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: How do you get a black guy out of a tree? A: You cut the rope.

thumb_up thumb_down -832

Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What one thing do the five members of Mystery Inc have in common? They were all raped and killed by REAL MONSTERS! One of the monsters happened to be Chuck Norris. He's a BEAST!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call someone who kills a black person? A murderer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,555

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops