How Does My cat have Sex? With Me.

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politically correct!

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Whats ironic about the Facebook "like" button? Nothing

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Knock, knock. Who's there? George. George who? Oh sorry, I thought this was number 52. my mistake.

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A man walks into a bar He's an alcoholic and it's ruining his family

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What is veiny, turns hard, and has a tip at the end? The male genitalia used as a reproductive organ mainly in sexual intercourse known as a Penis.

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why was it funny that the boy got a razor for christmas because he had leukemia

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Whats worse than the Holacaust? Stepping on damn Lego's. MrBounty44

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- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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I went to a magic show and the magician asked for my watch... He took the watch and then produced a doughnut... Guess what was in the doughnut? JAM!

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Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

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What did the toaster say to the bread? Nothing. Toasters can't talk.

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Did you hear about the sea cow who sang "Part of your Herd?" It was the Little Moomaid.

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Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

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What do you call a lawyer who came from the ghetto? Someone who did quite well for themselves despite coming from a tough area.

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Woman : Child,what time is it? Child : I'm not a kid, I Broccoli.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Frances. Frances who? Frances Payne.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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A lepord can carry two times its weight into a tree, i dont have a joke for this yet but youll leave here learning something.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

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what's the fastest way to have someone murder you tell your wife you are cheating on her

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what has 2 legs and bleeds alot half a dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops