Why did the man stop suddenly in the street? His unhealthy diet, alcoholism and smoking habit caused him to have a heart attack at the age of 56. He died because of it.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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To men walk into a bar. One says to a paying customer, "Mind if I sit here?" and the other man inquires the bartender about so.e fancy drink that takes five minutes to prepare. After 23 minutes, naturally, they left at exactly the same time and they went home to their wife and kids. They both share a wife and kids.

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What's the difference between 10,000 dead babies and a Farari? I don't have a Farari in my garage.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What's that in the road.... a-head?

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You just glass her.

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As a kid I was always told that school would get me good places. As an adult, I have found that there is another thing that gets you into a good place. Shrooms.

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A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

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Why did the fat kid fall of his bike? The skinny kid pushed him off!

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead.

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Roses are blue Violets are green I have issues, What should I do?

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Mirror mirror on the wall. Why can't I see?

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A kid is riding down the street when his chain pops off his bicycle. The kid yells "God damn!" as he begins to fix it. A priest walking nearby overhears the boy taking god's name in vein and says "Don't say 'God damn' say 'God help us'". The kid says, "I am an atheist, get away from me".

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♪ It's raining. It's pouring. ♪ The old man caught pneumonia and died....

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How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Roses are red Violets are blue My dad drinks a lot Help Me

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Why did Hitler kill himself He saw his gas bill

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What do you get when you cross Sir Elton John with a sabertooth tiger. I don't know but you better keep it away from your ass.

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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What's better then winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

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Allie said yesssssssss!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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