kronkel spasm dizzle nork is short for: i cant believe you bought a ninja monkey to scratch your clownitis! i am randomly going to have a spasm cause i am down with that dizzle..... lets watch a show callled norks! i am pregnant with your baby ducky.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Whats the difference between a dog and a piranha? Their names.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Yo momma is so fat, she has to wear a large shirt

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's been bound and gagged by kidnappers who are holding her for ransom.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michaelangelo.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you make a unicorn? Jab a stick through a pink horse and name it Liam

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Chuck Norris can cook ramen noodles with a microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the koala fall out of the tree ... Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why do you never hit a black man with your car? Because that's vehicular homicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse then spilling milk? Instantaneous Human Combustion

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's worse than listening to a teacher talk? This joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the chcicken cross the road? To get to the other side nl

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A jewish boy walks past a quarter on the ground..

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What is the difference between a black guy and a road? One you put tar on and the other one is a road

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: What is the difference between a moose and a cow? A: How they're spelled.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A guy walks into a bar. The universe instantly shatters around him under the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through the void amongst the shards of his broken reality. This is the worst joke ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilate was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did Susie fall out the swing, Because I hate disabled people and i pushed her

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How did the mecanic die? He drowned

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Two nuns walk into a bar. There is a monkey between them, that they are both holding hands with. The bartender looks to them, and says "Hello sisters, I am sorry, but we do not allow wild animals into the bar. He's gonna have to wait outside," to which one of the nuns responds, "Oh, do not worry, this is no monkey, this is one of our sisters." The bartender is very confused. He chuckles, and says "Alright, well then your sister is going to have to wait outside." The sisters look at each other confusedly, but take the monkey outside, put it on a leash, and tie it to a pole. They proceed back inside, have a few drinks, and leave. The next night, the bar is a little more crowded. The bartender looks up and sees the two nuns entering. He checks to make sure there is no monkey with them, and there is not, so he goes back to serving drinks. A few minutes later, the two nuns are at the front of the bar ready to order drinks. The bartender smiles at them, "No monkey this time?" he asks. "Not tonight," says one of the nuns. "Alright," says the bartender, "what can I get you?" "I'll take a double bourbon," says one of the nuns. "I'll have a gin and tonic, and she'll have the same" says the other nun, motioning to a rhinoceros on her left. "What the fuck!!" yells the bartender. "How did you get this inside?! Where did you even get a rhinoceros?" He realizes these questions are unimportant, and runs to call animal control. By the time he turns around, however, the rhinoceros is gone. He goes to talk to the bouncer. "Dude, why do you keep letting in wild animals?" asks the bartender. "The hell are you talking about?" asks the bouncer. "Last night, two nuns walked in with a monkey, and tonight they somehow got a rhino past you. You didn't see that??" the bartender snaps. "Three nuns came in last night, and three came in tonight. No monkey, no rhino," the bouncer tells him. Meanwhile, as they walked home to the convent, one of the nuns says "Man, I haven't been drunk in weeks." One of the other nuns turns to her and says, "Well, maybe you should stop turning into an animal every time we get into a bar."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a black kid on a bike ? Dirt bike

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops