A man walks into a bar He's an alcoholic and it's ruining his family

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What did your Little brother get for Christmas? Lice.

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whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

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What do you call putting a vehicle on the side of the road? Parking.

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Why did silly Miss Sally put her baby in the dishwasher? Because she was suffering from advanced stages of Schizophrenia. She thought that her baby was a dish. Her mother, Carol watched in horror as her granddaughter was placed inside. A tear dribbled from her eye. Things had been bad, but because Sally was her daughter, she had been tolerant. Carol sobbed as the baby screamed in terror, unable to escape. Finally, Carol, tears in her eyes, called Child Protective Services on her own daughter, something she didn't want to do. When CPS representatives finally came, they were horrified at the sight of a screaming baby covered in suds with burnt skin that had been scorched by hot jets. Sally's baby, Alex was taken from her and put into foster care.

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wheres a good place to find funny jokes? anti-joke.com

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Why did the girls hair catch on fire her neighbor bullied her

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Why did the jew ask for $10 back after he lent a boy $2? Because of inflation

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look under under where under under where. under the couch

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Mom: Are you going to jump of a cliff just cause your friends are? Kid: You got married to dad cause you were the last lonely whore left of all your friends. And you wanna talk to me about peer pressure. Mom: Go jump.

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Why was Sally's dad crying? Because Sally got raped. Why was Sally crying? Her dad raped her.

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What is white and is sometimes drunk? Milk.

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What did the blonde do when her car broke down? Made a Facebook status about then called animal control.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

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Yo Mommas so poor, when i went to her house and started to clear out the cob webs, she said why the heck are you tearing down the curtains.

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A woman walks up to her man and asks him to take out the trash. He agrees and takes the trash out.

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Why did Alice fail Maths? Because everybody else was Asian.

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whats arrogant, has blonde hair and belongs in the kitchen? Gordon Ramsay

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -because chickens have a free ability to walk and this chicken felt the urge to walk across the road. Why not?

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Q. Where do all funny jokes come from? A. The people who made them up

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What is green, brown, has four legs and would kill you if it fell on you from out of a tree? A pool table

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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