Why couldn't the bartender sell alcoholic beverages? He got fired

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What's blue and smells like red paint Blue paint.

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A pterodactyl walks into a bar, bartender says "What'll you have." To which the pterodactyl graciously replies "RAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRR." Because pterodactyl's do not speak English.

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If you and Chuck Norris have five dollars you both have the same amount of money.

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family LOLOLOLOLOLOL

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew -a pizza is food

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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Why doesn't God like pizza? Because he doesn't exist.

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A white man and woman are married and the wife becomes pregnant. However, the wife has been having an affair with an African American man. The baby turns out to be white and so the woman was very fortunate or else the husband would have figured it out for sure.

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Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

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Q. How many dead babies can you fit into a bathtub? A. That obviously depends on the size of the bathtub and each individual infant.

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Why did the Alzheimer's patient fail the history exam? I don't remember.....

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What's the difference between a duck? One of it's feet are both yellow.

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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What's that on my back? Tell me it's your phone ! Its my phone.

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Darude- Sandstorm

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What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

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Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

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What did one homo say to the other? Well, the politically correct term is homosexual, and he didn't say anything because they've never met.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Me. I am a psycopathic heroin addict, and i came to your house to violently rape you and kill your whole family. I dont have a family. Oh.

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Three men walk into a bar they suffer permanent brain damage, and completely lose their basic cognitive abilities. They will never be able to speak to one another again.

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what's the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage!

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a black guy leaves prison

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there was a red light and it was his turn to cross.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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