Want to here a joke? The First Amendment.

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Why did silly Miss Sally put her baby in the dishwasher? Because she was suffering from advanced stages of Schizophrenia. She thought that her baby was a dish. Her mother, Carol watched in horror as her granddaughter was placed inside. A tear dribbled from her eye. Things had been bad, but because Sally was her daughter, she had been tolerant. Carol sobbed as the baby screamed in terror, unable to escape. Finally, Carol, tears in her eyes, called Child Protective Services on her own daughter, something she didn't want to do. When CPS representatives finally came, they were horrified at the sight of a screaming baby covered in suds with burnt skin that had been scorched by hot jets. Sally's baby, Alex was taken from her and put into foster care.

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Superman wears chuck Norris pajamas Just kidding superman is a fictional character and is uncapable Of owning pajamas

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer was depressed about the low business and farmer's economy, so he poured gasoline all over himself and lit a match. The barn burned down and the chicken was the only survivor.

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What do you do when you eat a loaf of bread? You throw it up because your brother made it

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What's the difference between an elephant and a duck? Purple.

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What time does lunch usually begin on the other side of the world. Noon.

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My mom just died....

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What is the difference between Jews and the boyscouts? The boyscouts come home from camp.

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ask me what my temperpedic bed is like. ''whats it like?'' i dont know ive never had one actully.

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A woman should not be in the kitchen.

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What color is my lamp? Brown

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Vancouver Canucks Hater: What time is? Another Vancouver Canucks Hater: 6 past Luongo

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haiku's are stupid, and do not always make sense, refrigerator.

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What happened to the gay guy? He died of aids...

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I have alzheimers and one day me and my nephew were............................

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What did the amputee get for Christmas? Shot.

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Why did the man fail to enter the CAPTCHA phrase correctly? Because he was actually a bot, and bots are typically prohibited from accessing information on most public web sites.

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For no reason at all Pac-man was being chased by evil monsters while eating his luch...He choked on his food and died

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One time i ate a sandwich it was good

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what is the differrence between a boy and girl their oranges

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How do you make a man cry? you torture him

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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