Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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sticks and stones may break my bones but cataracts will prohibit you from eyesight

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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What did the college student say after he failed his test? He didn't say anything, he was a mute.

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Why did the rapist go to the girl's dorm? He wanted to apologise for his crimes, and brought them all a drink. It was spiked, he raped them

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Guess what? I like trains.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's a chicken and it doesn't know any better. It probably doesn't know where it is much less where it's going.

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69

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I was Writing and i broke my pencil

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What do you call a boy with no arms and a hunchback? -names

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A Polack walks into a bar. Which makes sense because the bar was in Warsaw.

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Roses are red Violets are blue... Violets are not blue they are actually purple

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Oh shit my gardens on fire

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What's the difference between me and you? Dr. Dre

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LA Police, Christine Collins called. She wants her son back.

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There once were 2 cowboys who were lost on a dusty trail. Later on they found their way out and are now doing very successful

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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Whats white and sticky fluff

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman went to the top of the Empire State building to have a penis measuring contest. The Irishman had the longest penis.

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Mum: Black or white iPod? Her Son: Black Please, it'll run faster.

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What happens when a llama falls off a cliff? It dies.

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How do you find Nemo? Watch the movie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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