When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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A horse walks into a bar.. Several people get up and leave as they see the potential danger in the situation..

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War horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long film?'

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Your mom's so dumb she has cancer...... oh wait that's racist

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The Game.

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How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

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your momma's so stupid, she starved to death in a supermarket i probably would too...considering all the good shit needs to be cooked

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What's the difference between a gay and a homo?...........WTF I DON'T KNOW!?!?!?!?

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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What happened when the man turned on his TV? It was tuned to the Discovery Channel

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How do you confuse a blonde? Go up to her and say, "The bookbag coffeepotted the ice cream wedding! Is it gosling for you to rectify this pane of glass and oceans? I won't be able to berry a giant squid before the cows arrive."

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why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other-side

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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Susan boyle has a belly button, Simon has a belly button, Because its only normal.

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Canadians

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whats worse than a dead cat in your apple? a dead baby in your apple.

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Whats more sad then four black men in a car driving off a cliff? The man they stolen the car from doesn't have car insurance.

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How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding it in your nose.

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A mother and her kid are in a park: Kid: Why did the chicken go to jail? Mother: Because the chicken killed your father... Now we are broke living in a park and I'm gonna kill myself at noon, and so are you. Kid: I'm not doing that, and neither are you and Daddies over their! The dad is a zombie, this is the beginning of the zombie apocalypses. THE END!!! PUPPIES!!!!!!!!!

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What do you call a magic owl? HOODINI only some will get it...

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What do u call a guy makin dinner? Gay.

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what has hair? Organisms, or at least most do.

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What's the difference between Justin Beeber and a Basett hound? I don't know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops