Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby? I take my cleats off when I jump on the trampoline

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What do you call a black man on a bike? A hard-working individual who found a steady job and earned enough money to buy a bicycle of his own which he rides to and from his job because he is healthy, doesn't like to waste money on gas, and doesn't like the pollution automobiles put into the air.

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Your momma is so fat, when she bent down to get a peice of wood, she fell down the steps.

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Who keeps his best friend in a gun rack? a red neck.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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You're adopted.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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Your mom is so dumb that all of society says she was poorly educated.

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A van drives into a car. An hour earlier, the man who was driving the van walked into a bar.

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot. WOW your racist!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures.

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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What did the woman say to the black man in bed Good morning honey

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What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

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Two black men walk past a white man who recently hung himself from a tree. Oh the racist irony.

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So a Hispanic, African-American, Jewish, and Asian man were walking down the street. They were involved in a parade that celebrated racial equality.

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What do you call 2 Mexicans playing baseball? It depends on what the name of each individual is.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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*Tell your listener to say knock knock* B: Knock knock A: Who's there? B: *awkward silence

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How long does it take a woman to park a car? Shouldn't take long, depends on the size of the parking spot.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops