Why did the lizard turn blue? He was low on oxygen.

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Why could'nt the boy eat peanuts? Because if he did he would proceed to have an allergic reaction, his throat would swell up, he would go into analeptic shock and die.

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Intel Core Computers answer robot flavored phones at middle of june CC

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A man walks into a bar and has a wonderful time drinking with his friends, arrives home at a reasonable time and goes to bed.

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

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why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

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Q: Why did the little girl fall from the swing? A: Because she didn't have arms. Q2: And why did she fall from the swing again? A2: Because she tried to get on it again.

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Two girls are backpacking in the Sierra Nevada. They walk 8 km from their base camp at a bearing of 42 degrees. After lunch, they document the wildlife they have seen because they are tracking the populations of species native to the area. Then they continue on their hike, but this time at a bearing of 127 degrees. After 5 km, they reach their destination for the day and set up a temporary camp.

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Why do Mexicans always have heart burn? Because the food is spicy.

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What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

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Why do British Folk have yellow teeth? Genetics. Although scientists don't know the exact cause, it has been shown that people of British ancestory have a genetic predisposition which inhibits the body's breakdown and utilization of Vitamin C and Calcium. This causes decalcification and scorbutic gums. The British slang term "Limey" comes from the fact that the British Royal Navy was made to drink lime juice to prevent scury. The Royal Navy was almost wiped out by an epidemic of Scurvy.

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What do you call a redneck virgin? A seven year old who can run faster than her brothers.

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knock knock. who's there? whoer whoer who? whoer you?

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

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What did the Dyslexic man write on his Christmas card? Merry Christmas

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Why did the leper go back into the shower? he missed a spot.

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What ryhmes with turtle rape

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What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pig, because even if a pig could learn karate its still a pig.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Children Protective Services. Your kids are dead.

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Photons have mass? i didn't even know they were catholic.

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josh roberts got the d in geog

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Your mommas so fat that she may die.

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There are 2 women at a bus stop. One of them has a swollen belly. The pregnant woman says to the other one, "I'm expecting a baby." The other woman responds, "That's too bad. I'm expecting a bus, at least that'll help me."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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