The sun was burning as the Elephant offered the mouse to walk between the sun and the mouse so the mouse could get some shade. Mouse: Lets switch places so you can have some shade too! Elephant: Good idea! Just then unexpectedly the elephant slipped on a banana peel and tilted towards the mouse. Squish. Moral: The reason they never tell kids the full story... for real.. honest...

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What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

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Student; Miss, please may I go toilet? Teacher; Yes, but say your alphabet first. Student; Ok

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs sitting on a doorstep? Whatever his name happens to be

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Womens rights.

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A chicken , a dog and a horse walked into a bar. There were going to the vets but were confused.

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What colour is an orange? Orange. What did you expect?

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Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

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What did the Jew say to the German? He said hello.

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What's worse than catching aids? - already having aids.

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Penis

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So, I walk into a bar and say "Why do you call this place a bar, I don't see any bars in here!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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Why did the Jewish girl fall off the swing? Because Amon Goeth shot her in the head from his balcony with his rifle. --Amon Goeth's friend

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So a guy walks into a bar. He asks the woman next to him, ''Can I buy you a drink?'' The woman says,''No thank you.''

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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What do you call an iPod that doesn't work? An iPod that doesn't work.

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Your mother is so heavy that she decided to try out nutrisystem

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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A man decides to commit suicide and jumps from the highest building in New York, he dies instantly on impact... the day was septermber 11th 2001, either way it was the end for the man

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Me:hey paul did you see that story on the news? Paul:ya i did thats really crazy!

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what did the rooster get for his birthday? nothing

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Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his mother and father had just disowned him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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