Knock Knock. Who the hells there? Nevermind.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms or lags get for christmas? A: He dosent now he cant open them.

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Who wants $300? Me too.

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Your Mama is so poor. I begin to worry about you and your familys' finacial situation.

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SINCE YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY READING THIS, IT WILL GET THE MOST LIKES!!!!!

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes Wtf?

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Whats worse than being a jew? Having all of your friends viciously murdered at a party that you weren't invited to.

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What's as bad as doing something you don't like? Doing another thing you don't like

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Do you know how I know that you're gay? You told me you are gay.

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What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

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A: you have a strong arm. B: yea i work ou- A: you can master bate a whale.

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A Dog walks into a bar to order a drink. The bar patrons are at first amused and overjoyed to share their night with a playful pet, until they see that his mouth is foaming and he's already started trying to eat the nearest child. Screams erupt as the bartender calls 911. The dog manages to injure two patrons before he is tazed by the police and taken to be put down. One of the men injured has to have his arm amputated, which is unfortunate for his new career as a heart surgeon. The hospital informs him that they have no choice but to force him to resign, after they hand him his lengthy medical bill. He ends up losing his apartment, and his fiance leaves him for someone more stable financially. The man then drinks himself to death, after attacking and killing a local dog with his one remaining hand. The dog belonged to a new family on the block, whose son had terminal cancer. Due to the cancer, the boy had trouble making friends in a new area, and the dog (Sonny) was his one source of companionship and, by extension, hope. The boy is later admitted to the hospital for breathing problems, and after a 4-hour surgery, is pronounced dead. His attending physician was quoted as saying "He was so close to beating back the infection, but all of a sudden it seemed like he just... gave up." I mean, how was a dog supposed to order a drink in the first place, am I right?

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that awkward moment when your teachers a duck

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A sober Amy Winehouse

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What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

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A man is balancing on a bar. But it's a bar where people drink so I don't know how that works.

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what did the crippled boy get for christmas? cancer.

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What do you call a person on a swing? F u c k N i g g e r s

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? No. Trees don't jump

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How many dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dogs do not have aposable thumbs therefore they cannot screw in light bulbs

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What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

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What's brown and smells Iike crap? My brother he doesn't shower and is Hispanic

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? HIV

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? It's hard to say, as this number depends on a large number of factors including the average area covered by one lick, the pH of saliva, the solubility of Tootsie Pops, the temperature of both the saliva and the Tootsie Pop, and the amount of saliva deposited on the Tootsie Pop after each lick. This is not to mention all the manufacturing irregularities that may occur during production, and varying tongue shapes and solvency properties of saliva.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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