The Big Band Theory

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What starts with P and ends in O-R-N? Popcorn.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Three tomatoes were walking down the street, a daddy, a mummy and a baby and...wait did I say tomatoes, sorry, I meant people.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a Mexican baptism? A blessed occasion.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Two fish were in a tank one said...."ill drive!"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Three men sat at a pub, it reminded them of this joke they once heard

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do u do when life gives u lemons?? Eat them

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: How much does it cost to have 50cent and Nickleback perform together? A: 45 cents, because its 50 cents, and you get a nickle back

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red Vilots are blue God made people pretty What the happend to you

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why was the light on in the house ? A. the owners were using it

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Does 2 + 2 = fish? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how do you burn a lot of calories? set a fat kid on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being raped

thumb_up thumb_down +662

James got up from the couch, forgetting what he got up for he asked his girlfriend, Mary: "What did I get up for again?" Mary replied "To get your medicine for your amnesia."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Incorrect. Violets are violet. DERP!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops