how do you wake lady gaga up? you punch-her-face

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Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

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pickle juice?

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What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

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Would you like to go to my jinga party, if you do save the date 9/11?

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A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

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What will Postman Pat be called after he retires? Pat.

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a duck walks onto a basketball court during a game. The referee sees the bird and blows his whistle crying fowl just as the player was running up to dunk. The confused bird flies away and the referee gets punched by the angry player.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? To bite a rubarb stick.

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What happened to thepeanut who went to NYC? He was assulted

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Avery has crabs.

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What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

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Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

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roses are blue viloets are red this poem doesnt make sense microwave

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What do you say to a cashier? How much is it?

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What did the black man buy at the fruit shop? Some bananas.

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Where di mary go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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Suzie has no arms and no legs and is on a swing. what happened? she fell and died knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

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A duck walk into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender hands him a glass and the duck drinks it. After finishing his drink he ruminates about how drowning his misery with booze won't solve a thing in his life. He decided he'll call his ex-wife and apologize and goes back home.

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Why was the woman sad on her 21st birthday? Because she was born on September 11,1980

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Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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what's the difference between a car and a pile of dead babies? nothing, they're both overused anti jokes.

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What do you call you're mum? Depends who's reading it or just mum

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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