What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt Getting stabbed.

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You know that song "FIrework" by Katy Perry? Well, I ate a hotdog last night.

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

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i have read and agree to the terms of service

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Q: why did the boy fall down when he was walking home? A: he was murdered.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? [no one] After that day, Dave moves out of the house assuming that a ghost knocked on his door.

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What do you get when you put your dick in a potato? A guy who is into creepy sex

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. It is a coincidence that none of them have the same hair colour.

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How do you kill a blonde? You wait until she dies of old age, then copyright her death.

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why do people take pictures in the bathroom? because they just got done taking a crap and they wanna see if they lost weight.

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Yo mama is so fat, she just had a heart-attack. She's dead.

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Knock Knock "Who's there?" "This is Frank from Walside Windows just wondering if you wou..." (Door Slams Shut) "Damn those people are annoying"..

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who farted? umm........that guy.

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Where's the best place to buy moon bars? Michael Toal

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Two Texas farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Jim turns to Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College and sign up for some classes." Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave. The next day, Jim goes down to the college and meets Dean of Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Jim says. "What's that?" The dean says, "I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?" "Yeah." "Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you would have a yard." "That's true, I do have a yard." "I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house." "Yes, I do have a house." "And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family." "Yes, I have a family." "I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a heterosexual." "I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weed eater." Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to go meet Bob at the bar. He tells Bob about his classes, how he is signed up for Math, English, History, and Logic. "Logic?" Bob says, "What's that?" Jim says, "I'll give you an example. Do you have a weed eater?" "No." "Then you're gay!"

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Wanna hear a good joke? Sure. So does Hellen Keller

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What do Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston have in common? They were both great singers.

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What is the answer to number 7 on the test? Time for you to get a watch.

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rose's are red violets are blue bernard is mine and yours too if you hurt him in any way i'll punch you in your face and make you gay Krissc

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Why shouldnt you throw rocks at a black kid on a bike? Because the kid wasn't riding in your way, you could get arrested for assault and battery, and he probably lives in a low income area and cant afford health insurance if he was injured.

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How do you blind an Asian? Rip out his eyeballs.

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There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

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What did the teacher say to the kid who got a 0 on a multiple choice spelling test? Wow your really dumb. Idiot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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