Two penguins are sitting in the bathtub, the first one says to the second one "pass the soap." The other penguin says," what do I look like a radio?"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chick cross the road? To get to the brothel for hot lesbian love.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A horse walks into a bar, it gets a concussion. -mattobrado

thumb_up thumb_down +11

When life gives you lemons, throw them away. Nobody likes lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what"s short , has a tail , and is amazing ? maddy cartwright i lied about the tail!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Bend Over.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What would Steve Jobs be doing today if he were alive? Dying.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? he's all right now

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? Go bird hunting.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why are a black man's eyes always bloodshot red after having sex? Pepper spray.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench can support a family

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's brown and smells Iike crap? My brother he doesn't shower and is Hispanic

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the little boy sad? Cause his mum died of a terminal illness. Why was the little girl sad? Cause she was his sibling.

thumb_up thumb_down +173

a priest, a bishop and a cardinal walk into bar to hand out pamphlets about alcoholism

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Whats Yellow And Cant Swim A Bulldozer.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Whats the difference between a pile of dead babys and a Ferrari? A: I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a black man with a speech impediment? By his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

You mamma so fat, she should consider going on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Did you just admit being considerate? I do not care about who gets the last comment anymore, I need to tear my face away from the screen ASAP.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What did the Shark attack victim say just before she died from her injuries? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops