What did the dead baby say to his mother? Nothing. He's dead.

why do muslims always turn to their left? Because they don't have their rights.

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell down and bumped his head He suffered a serious concussion and was never the same again.

Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

Yo mammas so fat you know what, i think she might die!!

What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

Knock Knock Who's There 42

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

How do you get a clown off a swing? Hold his family at gun point

What do you call poop in a black man's toilet? Poop.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a banana.

whats the difference between a black guy, spook and a porch monkey? they are all stupid, stinky, n-i-g-g-e-r-s!

why'd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

Why are black people so good at basketball? Dedication and hard work

A midget walked under a bar.

What is the difference between a duck and a cow? One is an aquatic fowl and the other is a farmland mammal.

Why did Sally fall off a tree? The tree was a man wearing a tree costume and was sexually assaulting her with his branches. Sally fell off because the cops came and the man threw her down. The tree man is still on the loose. If you have any info please call crime stoppers.

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

Roses are red, Violets are blue.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

What's the difference between a ginger and a brick? Bricks get laid

Why did the murder walk up to the lady in the car? It was his mom.

What do you call a guy that just shit himself? Me

What do you call a black astronaut? It depends on what his name is.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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