Why did the pied piper eat tea half past three? Because the chicken tripped on the way across the street and the fat lady didn't sing.

What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? I can see your 'nuts'...

Your Mama is so old, that she is probrably going to die pretty soon.

Snarf Nuggets

how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

What starts with a 's' and ends in 'ex'? Sex -XH

Why did Sally fall off her swing? -she had no arms knock knock whos there not Sally

Q: What did one raccoon say to the other? A: We do not know, as raccoons do not speak any human language. And no human being can understand or communicate with one.

Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

Romans rights.

A cowboy rides out to the middle of nowhere and then shoots his horse. He then makes his way back into town and meets a man in the saloon. The man says, "On second thought, I'd like to buy that horse."

Why is the apple mushy? Because a car ran over it.

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FIONN'S LIFE

yo momma is so ugly, she attempted to get plastic surgery and then died from the amount of blood loss she got when the surgeons realized her head was filled with tumors and they failed to extract them.

A man commands his dog to sit. However, his dog is poorly trained, so does not.

How do you stop a baby from falling into a manhole? You catch it, and then call the appropriate services and inform them of the dangerous open manhole.

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

How many ADD kids does it take to screw...

Q: What does the fox say? A: Nothing. Foxes cannot talk.

How do you circumsize a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.

What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? So YOU'RE the one!

So a dolphin is dropped off at a park and dies because he was out of the water to long.

What do you get when Chuck Norris meets Chuck Norris? A bad joke.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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