What's the difference between me and a dead baby? I'm not dead, or a baby. I am well into my teens and very healthy.

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why was the panda sent to prison? he played a major roll in the bombing of 9-11

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Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

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Dad always said that laughter was the best medicine. Maybe that's why he died of tuberculosis.

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why did the turtle beat the rabbit ? because the rabbit eventually got shot

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Why did the drunk walk into the bar? Because he has a serious drinking problem.

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A man saw a dinosaur yesterday. He had a very nice time at the museum.

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Why'd the duck cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The duck.

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A man walked into a bar, he was extremely short sighted, after this occurence he decided to phone up the opticians to get some glasses.

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Santa and a smart blonde jump of a cliff. Who gets to the ground first? Neither, they don't exist.

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Rose are Red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you.

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Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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Why did the elephant paint his toenails orange? Because he wanted to hide in the pumpkin patch

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The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

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Where is the best place to hold a bridal shower? The Kitchen

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a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

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Whats the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have a Bar Mitzvah in Holocaust Germany.

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Why did the chicken cross the rode? It was being chased by a fox and did not want to be eaten.

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What is the difference between a Homosexual and a Heterosexual? They are both Black.

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What did the shark say to the boat captain? So do you prefer cards or pool?

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How many Asians did it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1 Asians are just like every one else

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a blind man drinking from a dog, thinking it was a fountain

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Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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Why did the little girl stop going to dance class? She broke both of her legs in a terrible train accident

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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