- Anti Joke

Whats green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? A girl scout that got hit by a car

why did the kid fall off his bike he had a serious illness which made it difficult for him to play sports

WNBA

Knock knock I thought no one was home so I left... Turns out my grandma hung herself

What's worse than being gay? Dying in a gas chamber in the Holocaust.

What's good? Anything that is not bad.

In Soviet Russia, blonde is smart

Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

Knock Knock. Who's there? An Alzheimers's patient. An Alzheimers's patient who? To get to the other side!

what does an Ethiopian man say to greet a Chinese man well, first they must locate a translator fluent in both said languages, but they would most likely say hello

timmy: a duck walks up to a lemon stand and says to the man running the stand hey... Paul: what r u talking about its duck it can't talk

Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

How do you make time fly? You can't, time is the duration of events and therefore cannot "fly".

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

Why couldn't the little boy see? His eyes were closed.

Teddy- Last Thursday, A nice man named teddy was laid off at his local police department. Teddy was depressed, and mad at himself for his own failure. Teddy went to the library and found a book on Suicide. The librarian asked if he had his library card. He said yes, and presented it. The librarian scanned the card and checked out his book. Teddy went to his home and read a few chapters in his book, he found it useful. He then traveled to a firearms store and purchased a handgun. The clerk said that there was a sale on 40 count packages of the bullets he was buying. He said no thank you; I will only need one bullet. Teddy paid and went on his way home to find some peace. He did not find it………………… Because there was an annoying mocking bird outside his window. Teddy knew of this, and used his new weapon to shoot the bird. He only needed the one bullet because he was an ex-police officer, and had good aim. Teddy then used his new found knowledge on the topic of suicide, and wrote a remarkably well written article for a magazine he had interviewed for. Teddy knew that the prompt (suicide in the United States today) was very challenging, and he was compelled to hear how well he had done. The article landed him a new job as a writer for the magazine. On Friday, Teddy started his new job, and was delighted to learn that his new office was complete with a window that over looked the whole town. What a view, he remarked. He then threw himself out the eight story window, and landed on a homeless blind man. The homeless blind man had a coat full of newspapers to keep him warm in the winter time. And the padding suppressed the lethality of Teddy’s fall. He remarked how ironic it was that the homeless person‘s warm coat would never keep him warm again. Teddy laughed, and continued on with his fulfilling day until the police arrested him at 5:13 in the afternoon. He was a dashingly handsome toaster that supplied the town with lots of warm bread. So the police released him. And teddy and the Hooker lived happily ever after. Saturday, Teddy’s relationship with the hooker began falling apart. He was drinking now, and every now and then he came home a little too drunk. He beat and raped her………….. And nine months later they had a beautiful baby boy named Sam. They nurtured Sam till the ripe old age of 16. (Unfortunately, nurture for Teddy meant more rape and beating) For Sam’s 16th birthday, he was lead to the basement for a surprise party, where he was tripped into a wood chipper and ground into a fine pulp. Teddy added a blend of chili powder and sour cream. The hooker suggested that he should add some pickled jalapeño juice, but Teddy argued that it would be too spicy and ruin the chili. But the banana commented that he could add extra sour cream if the spice was to over whelming. Teddy trusted bananas, and added the pickled jalapeño juice. He then entered the chili in the local chili bowl competition and won second place. He was once again disappointed in his work, and went on a rampage killing all the bananas that ever betrayed him. Despite his good looks and practical use, Teddy had to face the continuances of his actions. He was discharged from his position at the local police department. Sunday, Damn, thought Teddy, the library’s closed on Sunday. The End

Whats worse than your camera not working? getting hit by a fridge during the Holocaust

Why couldn't the pirate enter into the movie? Because he's dead.

You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

Why did john have to have back surgery He needed his back "screwed" up

What did grandma receive for her 75th birthday? Alzheimer's.

a man was walking out side to get the news paper what happened next he picked up the newspaper

Why was King Triton mad at Ariel? Her grades were under the C.

What happened to the dying kangaroo? He died What animal is not in the lion king? Kangaroo --why? Because he died...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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