what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs rolling around in leaves? I don't know that seems like a highly improbable situation

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why did the supermodel have sex with the janitor? she loved him. and he was brad pitt.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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Why was the kid mad? Because he died.

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Q. Why did the Chineese man eat a banana? A. He was hungry, and he was craving a banana.

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A man builds a time machine but can only travel back in time. Where does he go? Irrelevant. Time and space exist on different planes.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? hit it with a brick.

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Q. What do cows and grass have in common? A. They both moo, except for grass ????????????

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What does the kid with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A: arms and legs

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Suddenly the Titanic started sinking, its a shame it sunk before anyone managed to find out what it was sinking about.

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what does nike and the kkk have in common? Nothing as one is a brand of clothing ie;shoes, hoodies, etc. while the other is a racist cult formed in the 19th century which persecuted african americans.

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What did the black man say when a blond walked into the bar? " Hi Molly"

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Why did the young boy say "Fuck"? He has Tourrete's

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knock knock who's there me i kill you

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Q: whats worse than a worm in an apple? A: being raped by a giant scorpian

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was blind.

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What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

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What did the homosexual get for Christmas off his boyfriend? A lovely present off his loving partner.

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave Smith.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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