Roses are red Violets are blue And so does your mom…

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's green and has wheels? Grass...I was just lying about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? lts of stuff like murder, rape, slavery, poverty, mindcontrol, mass genocide, the holocaust, racism, plagarism, physichal assault, war, terrorism, massacres, onsloughts, necrophillia, the dead rising, zombies, jokes on antijokes.com, awkward situations, dieing, cancer, ADHD, other mental illnesses, paint, the grim reaper, shinigami, stereotyping foreigners, prejudicism, bullying, armed robbery, hacking, viruses, incest, feral animals, getting lost in the forest, arsonry, pyromania, passing out in a bar, meeting a serial killer, and finding 2 worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A baseball player hits a home run and wins the game for his team, when he arrives back home expecting to see his mother and father, he remembers they both died in a car crash several years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

What's grosser than gross? Grossest.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

if a tree falls in the forest does it make a sound? if a tree falls in the forest and it falls on a mime, does anyone care?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree It was staples to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Three black men were walking...

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How did Hitler fit 100 jews in his car? He didn't, he was too busy killing them in concentration camps.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

2 Jews walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks and call a cab to get home

thumb_up thumb_down -10

drugs.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Roses are red. Violets are blue. What do flowers have to do with this joke I want to tell you?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

An asian man, a black man, and a white man walk into a bar. All three of them order a scotch, coincidentally this is their favorite beverage.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What happens every 10 seconds in Africa? 10 seconds passes by.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

bronson watt walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you do when you see an elephant with a basket ball? Engage in play - if the elephant is playing with a basket ball it is most likely domesticated, and if it has toys it's probably well treated. Well-treated elephants raised in captivity are tolerant, sociable, intelligent and playful.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

you just lost the game!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

this sentence will end in the way you expected.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you get when you combine Seth Rogen and Harrison Ford? A very risky and expensive medical experiment.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What do you call a black doctor? Ehh...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How can a black man burn his pop-tarts? If he leaves them in the toaster for too long.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a cat at the bottom of the ocean? A cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops