What did the dog say to the cat? I don't know actually

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What did the little boy with no arms get for cristmas? A football.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have cancer

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what starts with P and ends with u-b-e-s? Paul, can you brang me some priangles and the rest of my Rubik's cubes?

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

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What's worse than AIDS Nothing can possibly be worse than finding out you have AIDS

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor!

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once there was a man named steve. he happily sniffs pot every day after work. especially on sundays. one day, his family finds him sniffing pot. they are disgusted and disappointed in his bad decisions. so they join him

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Do you know what a lion really is? It's an over sized cat.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water jack fell down and broke his neck and he was dead... The End

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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What do you call it when you eat cheese that's not yours? Stealing.

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Do you want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 1027

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What do you call 4 black guys in a red sleeping bag? Kit Kat. What do you call a fat black guy in a red sleeping bag? Kit Kat Chunky.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Orchids are white, Sunflowers are yellow

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A white guy, a black guy, and a spanish guy jump off a building. They all die on impact and their families mourn their loss for years to come.

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Why didn't the cheese buy a house plant? Cheese is nonliving and therefore cannot earn money, thus preventing cheese from buying houseplants.

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How do you spell "black" when you writing an african american history essay. B L A C K

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Q.What do Santa Clause and a grape have in common? A.They both have beards. Except for the grape.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Well, to tell you the truth, I think that the chick-fa-lea came first.

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What's worse than losing a contact Having a bloody stool

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What did muscleman say to his dad? You know who else is my dad? MY MOM!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops