What do you call a black midget with no legs and has 11 fingers? A human being

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An American man walks to Mc Donalds.

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Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

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your mom is so fat she is at high risk of a future heart attack and should be taken to a cardiologist

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What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

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Little Jimmy's mommy loved to see the smile on her only son's face as he ate her homemade cookies. Due to lack of medical knowledge at the time, Little Jimmy contracted diabetes and died before he turned 30. Unmarried and childless, he was diligently working on his doctorate thesis on Astrophysics. His death marked the end of his family line.

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What do you call a kite that doesn't fly. A broken kite.

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How do you make a blond shut up? Staple her tongue to the roof of her mouth and super-glue her lips together.

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A lion, a leopard, a sheep, and a flesh eating New Zealand parrot stalk, trot and fly, respectively, into a bar. The parrot lands on the the sheep's back and begins to tear into its flesh in order to reach the succulent deposits of fatty tissue located around the sheep's kidneys. "Ouch!" Said the sheep. "Why would you do that? Oh, the pain! The pain!" "Squak!", Replied the NZ parrot, wiping blood of its sharp, hooked beak on the counter. "I think," Began the lion, "This parrot from New Zealand is hungry for fat from a sheep's soft, woolly back." The sheep's wool was now damp with blood. "Perhaps this parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from its soft woolly back." "Ah!" Said the sheep. "This parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from my soft woolly back!" "Yes", Replied the lion. "You could also say..." Started the sheep, "That an NZ parro-" The sheep did not finish his sentence. He died from his wounds. The lion left. The parrot flew off to tear up some windshield wipers. And the leopard stashed the sheep carcass in a tree branch for later consumption.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Anything you want, it's only a fish.

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What is better than a cat? Nothing

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knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

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Q: Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh

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Get in the car.

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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What do you call a video game nerd who insists on sitting at home all day not going out or thinking of others except for beating the level or killing the creature or leveling that skill or completely ignoring his civic duties? Accepted

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Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

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How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

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What do you call a man with three testicles? Polyorchid. Look it up.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress

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You: I have a question Person: Yes You: Do you have an answer?

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FREE SEX! Now that I have your attention.............

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whats black and has many friends? a kind sociable black person

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lol this is the best joke ever!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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