Roses are red, Violets are blue, Hello Carolina, let me lick your vagina.

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What did Helen Keller name her children? Nothing, since she didn't have any.

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A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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Whats black and crying after 10 minute my wife's eyes when she left the kitchen

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What is the greatest anti-joke ever told? I had it right here, but I lost it when I was being raped by a Triceratops.

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Roses are lamp, Violets are squirrel, I have ADHD, LET'S DANCE!

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What did the boy with no srms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer

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Why did the man order a mail order Asian bride? Because he was caucasian which meant females of his race had unrealistically high expectations of a partner due to various materialistic overtones that are constantly portrayed in their medie creating a society of over entitled women who think they are owed the earth.

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What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

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Q: What do a dollar bill and a kite have in common A: I dont know

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A tree fell in the forest. The person in the house it hit heard it.

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What did Jesus say to the giraffe? Good day to you sir.

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whats worse than the Holocaust....6 million Jews

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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So 2 black guys walk into a bar and the bartender looks around and say "what will you fine gentlemen have?" and they order and payed their tab and could not have been more courteous, amirite?

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The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

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Why can't a blonde swim? Because in this economy her parents never took her to a pool in which she could get swimming lessons and practice to be able to be a good or maybe great swimmer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it was hit by a bus.

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How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

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A goose walks into a bar. Maybe he should have ducked.

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Two swallows migrate to Africa. One swallows initiates the conversation, that's when the other catch fire.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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your mama is so stupid i believe she will have a difficult time finding employment in these rough economic times

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"Aids" "What?" "Yup, you just got aids­­­."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops