What did Freddie Mercurys father say at Freddies funeral. "Thats the cleanest hole our Freddies ever been in".

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you call a polar bear in the desert? Bobby Marksson.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

This is the worst anti-joke on the entire site. Just look at all the thumbs down!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

People are like trees. When hit multiple times with an ax they fall down.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats better than a car. gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was the kid running around? He was on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the nerd say to the cheerleader? Wouldn't you like to know? Mind your own business.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the boy eat the apple. He really likes apples.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A baby gets hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: What's blue and smells like grass? A: Blue grass.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the man suddenly burst into flames in room. The room was dark, so he lit a match. It turns out there was hydrogen in the room and when fire touches hydrogen, it sets on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: what do you call a phone that's fake? A: a phony...

thumb_up thumb_down -133

What happens when you feed a Mini-horse a Happy Meal? If it doesn't die choking on the plastic toy included in the meal, It will most likely develop a terminal case of horse diabetes and suffer through a slow painful dying process.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will have her institutionalized as soon as they find her.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

why are black peroples noses so big ? because thats where God held them when he spray painted them

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What did the mute boy get for his birthday? i dont know he didnt tell me

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man died and went to heaven. Luckily, he was resuscitated by a trained medical professional, and after a stern warning from his doctor, he lost weight, limited the cholesterol in his diet, and went on to live a very happy and healthy life.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Yo mamma's so old... oh way no she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the boy say to the Vietnam veteran? Where are your legs?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops