What happens when your school teacher gives you homework over the break? You give your teacher homework too!

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A man walks into a bar. While he sits on a barstool, a man greets him politely, and they proceed with light conversation.

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So there we were, climbing Mount Kjerag and we take a break. So I decided to tell you a joke. "Isn't this nice, just hanging around? See it's funny because we're suspended over 1000 metres in the air by our harnesses, except that you're not because I cut yours and now you're falling and you're gonna die." But I had done all that before I told you the joke so you didn't hear me and now I'll have to cut my harness and try to catch up to you so I can repeat myself. Great job, ya prick.

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Why didn't the dog like baseball? Being a dog, it had no idea or interest in what baseball is.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Segregation

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What is worse than the Holocaust? a Michael Bay movie

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Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

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If a quiz is also referred to as a quizzicle, then what is a test also referred to as? A test, really. There are no synonyms for 'test' which would result in a humorous punchline; 'exam,' 'essay' and 'evaluation' are the closest possible answers and none of them provide humor at all.

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66

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Penis

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What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? Obama is the president and a drug-dealer has lost his life to the awful streets.

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A boy asks a wolf, "whats the time mr wolf?" The wolf does not answer. Wolves possess neither watches, nor the neurone in their brain required to talk.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing, she had no arms. Knock Knock Who’s there? Not Sarah.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Your son Your son who? Your son who’s sick of having a paranoid mother who won’t just open the door!

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Not a Jehovah's Witness, let me in!

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Nig gers Jews Bean ers and fa ggots and everyones grandma that died recently, F u c k you there all burning in Hell.

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What do you call a man that eats a sandwich? Hungry.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimers, Cheese on toast.

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Yo momma's so dumb, she's not smart.

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense, Refrigerator Sex

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What is worst than 1 baby dead in a microwave? 2 babies dead in the same microwave !

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Knock knock Who's there? A ghost A ghost who?

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Why did Captain Hook die? He wiped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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