Why didn't Jimmy go to school? Because his school was nuked.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why are white people not good at basketball? Because they aren't black.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the salad say to the dressing? Nothing! Carrots don't talk!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not your cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you call a black man being hung from a tree? -prejudice

thumb_up thumb_down -42

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Guess what? what. You guessed it!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many rabbits does it take to screw in a light buld? None, it is scientifically impossible for a rabbit to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

aggie wilkinson, i WOULD!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

bum sex lol

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call an Arab with a long beard? An Arab with a long beard you stereotypical piece of crap.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What type of person does a black guy go to when he's sick? The doctor

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why can't Abraham Lincoln lie? Because he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the baby die? Cuz the father had a small dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q - What do you call a hamburger without pickles? A - You call it a hamburger just without the pickles.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you stop a bus ? Put 3 small children in front of it Whats sad about 3 children who died in a bus crash ? They were my kids. How do you know if you're blind ? You run in to a wall

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the white man cross the road? To pay his taxes.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A batch of muffins is cooking in the oven, one muffin says to the others "it's hot in here!" the other muffins don't respond because they're muffins. He's the only of his kind.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

You make me believe in myself, after all, it takes one to know one, I just wonder what I am, what are you?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Brian Singmaster. Look him up, he's cute.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man is at a party. He gets hungry so he waits in the foodline and then he gets some food. Then he has to go to the bathroom so he waits in the bathroomline and goes to the bathroom. Then he is thirsty so he goes to get some punch and realizes that there is no punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops