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How come Hellen Keller couldn't drive? Because she was blind and deaf, therefore incapable of performing such a task.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One of them you crack open with a sledgehammer and feast upon, and the other is a dead baby.

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how do you teach a baby to walk? cut of its hands.

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What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks, as he saw the first two men previously walking into it, and it looks like it rather hurt.

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Why was the Africanan boy hungry? Because food is hard to come by in Africa.

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Nero7 How are you doing? This is "Eliza" I hope I will be joining, but I cannot reach you by phone, please respond ASAP time is running out.

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what do you call a middle-aged man with one blue suede shoe on, purple hair, pink skin, white eyes, no toenails, 67 fingers, 1 eye, a pocket watch, no clothes, and 8978967564567898765432345678765321234568909876543w245678909876543456098765323456-0987654367890-098765435678-09876543456789098765432345678909876543456789098765435678909876543234567898765323456890-987654345678900987654323456890987653234567890765434568909876543456899876543456789098765434568909876545678987654345678987654567898765434567898765478579458765456789876543223456789876543098765432123456898765432678987654230987653-098765434567898765434898765434567898765456787654567876 butt cheeks? bob.

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Warning: Legit Joke Below What is the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? Only one can raise a child.

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Yo Momma's so old... She has lived a great life and you should be very proud of her even though she is slowly dying of a degenerative disease.

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What do you call George Mills? A very kind, sensitive person with a poor music taste.

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Roses are red. They also have thorns. Their family is Rosaceae and they are often given as gifts between lovers. They grow in well drained and fertile soils...

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what did the chicken cross the road? because its a chicken

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Q:How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could would A: 26

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? You throw a rock at it

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Why did the zombie go to school? Zombies do not exist and certainly do not go to school.

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Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

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Q) what do girls like long , soft (can go hard) and has white stuff come out A) Twinkies but if left out of its plastic wrapping for a long period of time it will go hard

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Roses are red So are you Cause you killed my dreams So I killed you

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A man went skydiving and tragically died.

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What did the fat confused man say? I am confused.

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What do you call an epileptic in a bowl? James, if that happens to be his name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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