Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

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Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

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what's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? they have different colored hair

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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what did helen keller name her dog? scruffy

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Q: Imagine you are driving a boat, and the wheel falls off. So how many pancakes can you fit in that box? A: None, because the oranges couldn't talk.

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence

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You know what rhymes with school? Hell.

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What did one volcano say to the other? Hey.... wana get some lunch... later, not now of course it's WAAAAY TOO EARLY!

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Did you hear about the human cannonball who lost his job? Circus attendance is on the decline, as people are spending less money on entertainment, due to a slow economy and poor consumer confidence. Because the circus owners paid him under the table, he did not qualify for unemployment and was force to take a job at Hardies. He has a drinking problem and suffers from depression.

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Liars go to hell! -God

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Yock

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen? Five.

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Why did the boy kill his father? Because he was molesting him.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.

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'knock knock' 'Who's there?" "the mailman, Ive got mail for you"

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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Q: If your riding down the Nile on a boat and your boat springs a leak, how many boxes of pancake mix does it take to fix the hole? A: 58, because Koalas are marsupials

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A bartender walks into a bar, and starts his shift.

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why is the grass green? all the other colors in the electromagnetic spectrurm are absorbed except for green which is reflected and thats the only visable color

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Why was the woman crying? Because I hit her with a bat.

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When life throws you lemons, you probably have dyslexia

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what's difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on a stool? Ask them kindly to do so. Their sexual orientation is of little to no importance in this situation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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