You know why one side of the "v" formation of a flock of geese is longer don't you? Cause it has more geese in it.

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Help I'm being raped!

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i have a pet duck, when i take it a bath i use cold water, if i use hot water it and i drop a carrot in the tub it will think im cooking it.

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Quantum Mechanics is so difficult to understand, somewhere Stephen Hawking just walked into a bar.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? The Holocaust is not an idea of the slightest humor at all. Millions of innocent civilians were slaughtered, millions more were sent to brutal concentration camps where they would fight for a crumb of food on the ground and get terribly punished for it, and live their whole lives in pain, torture, and starvation, millions more were sent to concentration camps then murdered, and millions of people, including children were left without family or anywhere to live. On top of that, their whole lives they were mistreated for their differences, and never got to live up to their dreams because of this horrifying event. It left the world in shock for years after, and scars of the event still live on in present-day families whose ancestors were harmed in the Holocaust. The terrible memory of it will never leave this Earth.

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how did the fat man get up the stairs he walked

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Q: What did your mom say to your dad? A: Honey i want a divorce.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being black

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What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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Knock Knock. Shut up.

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Simon: Knock Knock Alfredo: Who's there? Simon: Wire Alfredo: Wire Who SImon? Simon: Wire are you asking me this!!!!

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Why is Ellen Degeneres gay? Because she likes the same sex

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17

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Why can't the boy ride his bike to school? It has no wheels.

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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why are you reading this? You are bored out of your mind and don't want to do you're homework. and now that you read this, you will realize what you're doing and will now get back to work.

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Your mother is so bad at cooking that people often remark on how bad at cooking she is.

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What's funnier than the pope in a speedo? Humor is subjective, so answers vary from person to person.

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What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

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what would you get if you combined a sixth grader with a machine gun? A homophobe

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Why is my penis so small? No, seriously, can anyone tell me?

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What is the Pope's favourite dish to order from the local Indian take-away? Korma.

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Why did the black man rob a KFC? He was in a very difficult financial situation and was worried his kids would go homeless. After scouting various locations he found the security at a nearby KFC was non-existent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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