Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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What is colored and looks good hanging from trees? Oranges. Get your mind out of the gutter!

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In Soviet Russia, the same thing that happens here, happens there.

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What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it damn well felt like it.

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What happens when you go swimming in the rain? You get wet.

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What is brown, white, and red all over? A part asian part white guy covered in blood after having her girlfriend have her period while they were having sex in a club in alaska near a military school that was abandoned and is now haunted but justin bieber took care of that.

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Ask me if I'm a dinosaur. Are you dinosaur? No.

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What do vampires cross the sea in?

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Whats red and smells like cherries? Cherries

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A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

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What did the blind and deaf woman get for her birthday? Raped.

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Q:What were Helen Keller's dying words? A: Speaking is difficult when you have no way of hearing others. Apart from that, just hours before you die, you become unaware of your surroundings, and have a harder time communicating. Both these problems merged together made it basically impossible for her to speak before death.

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To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

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a homeless man walks into a bar, the bartender and patrons treat him nicely, and sympathize for his current situation.

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Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

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What's black and red and can go through time. I don't know but you have cancer and are going to die very soon.

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Have you read Shakespeare? Dunno. Who wrote it? Shakespeare.

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What object do bananas look like? Bananas.

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What's one very bad way to injure yourself? Smashing your head against a metal surface

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Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white Stop stereotyping roses, already.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops