How many elephants can you fit in a car? Five. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.

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Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Do they have a fourth of July in England? Yes, but it is just a sad reminder to them that all the cool people left for America.

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

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How many one does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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What's the differance between a pile of leaves and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a pile of leaves burning in my backyard.

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What is the best part about football The scoring

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An american, a french and a japanese walk into a bar. They are colleagues from the International University of Florida, used to go out together.

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how do you burn a lot of calories? set a fat kid on fire

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70% of heroin addicts die at some point in their life.

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OK, Billy went to his friend Fred in the tree. And then went inside to get a snack. Then Fred fell out of the Tree and.....landed on a comfy mattress.

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If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

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What did the vegitarian order for brunch. VEGITARIANS DONT BELIEVE IN ICE CREAM>

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Why did Teresa fall off the swing? She had no arms. Who is knocking at the door? Not Teresa.

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How can a black man burn his pop-tarts? If he leaves them in the toaster for too long.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips can be of multiple colors.

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Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

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what has two feet and is black all over? your mom after she died in a horrific house fire.

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what is the hardest part of eating a vegetable? the wheelchair

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A. Did you hear about the circus fires? b. They were intense. (in tents)

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what's green and has wheels? grass, i lied about the wheels.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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