non poop

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Q: Have you heard from that guy who dropped a piano on his head? A: No one has, he dropped a piano on his head.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Joe Joe who? Your friend Joe OK come in

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A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

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Why did the man feel so guilty after having sex...... He found out He was a tranny

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike when you eat them they die

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What's red and invisible? We don't know that it's red.

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why did the koala fall out of the tree? it was shot. why'd the second koala fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one. why'd the third koala fall out of the tree? it thought they were playing a game. why'd the refrigerator fall out of the tree? it thought it was a koala. why'd the man fall of his bike? it was hit by 3 koala's and a refrigerator.

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Why did the squirl eat the accorn? Because he enjoys it.

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The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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Well, there's one way...

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Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

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As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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josh roberts makes nuns hang themselves

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What do you call a black girl scout? A brownie

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Why didn't Sally go to the party? Because everybody hates her and she wasn't invited.

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You can throw a horse a Frisbee but you can't make him catch it

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Knock, knock. *answers door*

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What's the difference between a whore and a blonde? There is not enough information to answer this question.

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A young christian boy walks into a church and gets raped

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the government, your home is being repossessed.

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why do people put their pants on in the morning? because their not nudists.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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