What do you call cheese that isn't your's Well it would depend on what type of cheese it actually is

Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

What do you call a banana in a blender? A banana in a blender. Duh

Q: why did the plane crash? A: because jack daniels equals 7

can people thumb up the evil dead statment below please... its important to me. (and the cup joke below) thanks people , ur great.

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

Why did the chicken cross the road? To mourn the loss of his daughter who died due a fatal car crash, caused by him while he was driving. across the street

A black man walks into a bar The bartender tells him they don't serves blacks The black mans calls the Police and the bartender is arrested for Discrimination

Why did the Asian woman drive 20mph on the highway? There was a deadly car accident with many fatalities.

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. knock knock. who's there? the chicken.

I'm tired.

What is black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

Q. why did the black man cross the road? A. Cause there is no law saying he cant

Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

when a friend comes over and says: hey, do you have a bathroom??? NO!!! I shit in my yard!!!!!

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven raped and murdered eight's family.

Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

Knock knock Whos there? Sorry, wrong house,goodbye!

What do you call an epileptic in a bowl? James, if that happens to be his name.

Who's a pedophile and not afraid to show it? The clown from McDonald

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a serial rapist with a violent temper.

Why was the boy crying? His parents were brutally burned to death in a fiery car accident.

Buy a SHOTGUN!!!!

A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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