Two pretzels were walking down the street when one got assaulted...

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a

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Why didn't Sally eat the meatballs The meatballs ate her

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A: Knock Knock B: Come in A: Come in Who B: Your Mum...

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how many milkshakes does it take to bring all the boys to the yard?

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Barack Obama plays basketball

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My mumma your mumma live down the street 18,19 marble street out came you and out came me but then your mumma died from her pee

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Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

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Who is stupid and no one likes him. Me. :(

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CAOIMHIN. IVE BEEN DOING MY WORK SINCE IVE STARTED THIS CLASS. YOU'VE STARTED THIS WHOLE THING. I WROTE BIG MAC'S AND THATS IT. SO STFU

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What did the man do when he crossed the road? Nothing he got hit by a car

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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What time is it? 10:58

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what is Justin Bieber+ One Less Lonely girl.... A BABY

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she was born with no arms and is not loved.

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A narwhall walks into a store and asks the cashier where he keeps the soap products. The cashier does not speak english.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? You throw a rock at it

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how do you make my dad say oww? throw a baseball bat at him.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is Patrick.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. WHAT?! You are about to die and be eaten.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? They were my friends.

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What's the difference between Wayne Gretzky and Courtney Love? They have different proffesions

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"Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it; I tried to be chill, but then I realized that when used as an adjective, 'chill' refers to the temperature." -Jason Mraz

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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