Two farmers are sitting in a cold field. One asks, "Cold day, isn't it?" The other farmer doesn't respond as he has been frozen to death and because of his death, he is unable to respond.

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Ask me if I'm a peanut. Are you a peanut? Yes. Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No, I'm a peanut.

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Why can't woman be cokcy? Because that don't have one (Sorry for the sexist joke, to who it may concern)

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12

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Why cant Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles read? Because they are blind you racist.

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whats worst than a trashcan full of dead babies? A baby eating the dead babies.

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Q why did the kids make fun of timmy A because he was an android with al chunk of metal added accidentally where a real boys crotch would be. Bwilkster

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Guess how old my lil bro is...Well your wrong cause he's dead.

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Can you smell what the Rock is cooking? Yes, it's delicious!

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What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

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What do u call Lindsay Lohan fall from grace? Probably likely tragic and is also a very useful metaphor for The USA's projected path for global and economic superiority.

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So a duck walks into a drugstore and asks the clerk for lip balm. The clerk asks, "How will you be paying for that?" to which the duck replies, "Cash."

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A man says to a boy. I bet you I can jump over that mountain. The boy wins the bet because it is a physical impossibility to jump over a mountain.

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What do you do with a dog with no legs? Take it for a drag.

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What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophob? a blowjob

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A man is lonely and calls a hooker. She goes to his house, pleasures him, and then demands 42 million dollars. The man shoots the whore and throws her body into a river.

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A blonde and a brunette nearly fell off a cliff and were hanging on for dear life. The brunette found the strength to climb back onto the ledge. The blonde was impressed and had muscular dystrophy so she lost the strength to hold on any longer and fell to her death.

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Why don't Polish women use vibrators? They are extremely conservative Catholics.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him "why the long face?" "All horses have long faces" he replied.

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How do you make a doctor cry? Kill his family.

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What does it mean when somebody is Jewish? They eat palahuardo por sinquevos for breakfast. Qua.

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what does a slim jim taste like? there is no answer because everyone has a different amount of taste buds

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What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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