what do you call a black man falling off a cliff holy shit

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What do you call a black man that cuts people up and takes their money? A surgeon.

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Your mom is so fat That the salesman advised her not to buy the tight dress

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game.

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knock, , knock , who's there the gas man the gas man who ? the gas man who is gonna turn your gas off !

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. They have been planning a girls night out for weeks.

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Cows go moo.

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Why is NO ONE on Facebook when I AM?! Because you have no friends... on Facebook... ... Wow.

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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How do you find out a chinese's name? Ask him/her

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are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

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minorities

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Yo mama is so fat... she died due to type two diabetes.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Skeletons neither have muscles nor brains to control any muscles and therefor cannot transport themselves across a road or any stretch of land for that matter.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen? Five.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I don't know Then why should I care I don't know

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What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

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How did the Jewish husband and wife stay together forever? They didn't. They ended up in divorce like 50% of all other married couples due to irreconcilable differences.

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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Yo mama so fat she was diagnosed with diabetes and now has to regulate her daily intake of foods.

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DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDIEDIEDIEIDEIDIEIDEIIDIE DIE all of you Hahahaha

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A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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