A man with glasses and a cane walks out if a clothing store and accidentally bumps into a woman, knocking his hat off "Can't you watch where you're going?" the woman asks. The man then slaps her, knocking her to the ground. He picks up his new designer fedora, and drives off in his $90,000 Cadillac. The woman, after dusting herself off, gets the guy's plates, convinces a few witnesses to testify against the man, and informs the authorities of an assault. He was later arrested for assault as well as pimping and soliciting sex. He is found guilty in a court of law and is sentenced to 2-5 years in prison, and is doled a hefty fine.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was the little boy laying on the ground unconscious? because I threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? One holds groceries and the other molests little children.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

why didnt Timmy get anything for Christmas?His mom told santa he was very naughty that year

thumb_up thumb_down -16

call 803-389-9808 for a good time ;D

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti jokes are funny, but also not.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what does chuck norris use to cut scissors? another scissor.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walks into his house only to find someone in the livingroom touching the stereo. He then goes up to his wife, and kisses her.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

The duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man who was running the stand, hey I cancer CC

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What's worse than getting hit by a bus? A: Herpes, AIDS, Diarrhea, Constipation, Castration, Super Herpes, or the song "Friday."

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's black, white, black, white, black, white, and red? A horse with it's heard chopped off.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the pigeon rape itself? It had mental issues.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A black guy walks into a bar. He falls unconscious and an ambulance is quickly called to bring him to the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Three jewish men are standing in at a bar. Its getting late and the bartender tells the three men its time to go home. As they walk out to the street, the bartender asks if they will be needing a ride home. Of course these three men had a few drinks, but did not live too far down the road, so they decided to walk. They pass the first mans house and he goes in to see his wife and three kids. They walk past the second mans house and he goes in to see his fiance leaving only one man left. He gets to his house, unlocks the door and goes inside only to find a note on the counter. He gets onto his computor and see that he forgot his wallet at the bar. He goes downstairs and walks out the door only to find himself falling into a giant pit. After falling for a while he starts thinking about his life. Then he remebered that he wasnt jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

why did the shark bite the surf board? It thought it was turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is yellow and sleeps alone? Yoko Ono.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Obamacare haters

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's sad about a dead person? He was my friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you get if you cross a river with a cat? Wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Three men are walking and one falls over, he then gets up and continues walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +203

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops