What was the only animal to not board the ark in pairs? Loads of animals because it didn't happen.

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How do you get a small freckly boy to stop watching television. You turn off the television.

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Your mother is so fat, she struggles to control her weight even with dieting. Obesity and heart disease runs is in her mother's side of the family; she and everyone close to her is very concerned.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No

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If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd most likely have no money as I would spend it all on cocaine.

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A man walks in a bar. He walks out.

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Your momma so fat she's fat

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What goes in dry and comes out wet Gum

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Why did little Sally throw a stick of butter out the window? Sally has a burning hatred for dairy products.

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How do you get clean dishes? You wash them.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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If I were in a room with you hitler, stalin, i would shoot hitler and stalin because they are horrible people.

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

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Why did the book fly to Cambodia? It was on a plane that was delivering educational material to third world countries to enhance their schools and increase their literacy.

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A man walks into a doctors and says 'Doctor, Doctor, I have a bad stomach ache' Upon hearing this, the doctor writes the man a prescription for medication and wishes him a swift recovery.

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An eleven year old boy walks into a bar... he is searching for his father, who has a known alchol problem, and has been missing for five days.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped

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The woman says : OMG I am so hung over!! The man next to her has Terrible tourertts turns around and shouts I want my to make them hung over your face, her then moves away and rapes a apple of which he is eating, the woman turns around and dies as she has a brain tumor

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A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

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How do you get a blonde to break a nail? Smash her finger with a wrench.

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing. He's a mute.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she no arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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