Why did the alcoholic stumble into a bar? Because he was bleeding profusely and was desperately seeking a telephone to contact the nearest hospital.

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What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

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wanna hear a good joke? neither do I

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A neutron walks into a bar. He orders a drink and ponders why his mother gave him the name, "A neutron."

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Chuck Norris died.

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Silly Sally Dillydallied then lost her job to outsourcing.

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What if Chuck Norris got shot by a bullet? The most interesting man in the world would save him.

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Why don't chickens where pants? Cause they're animals,duh.

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What do you call a man in front of three trains that have explosives tied to them and that are making amazingly loud noises? An idiot who obviously can't identify danger and probably had a childhood injury that cause his life to be ruined forever most likely cause by an evil uncle.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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what did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? cancer.

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Why don't blind people own cats? They do, who told you that?

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I don't think Holocaust jokes are funny, Anne Frankly I find them offensive.

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What happens when a guy walk into a school and shoots kids? Oh sorry, to soon?

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Steve

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The pilot. You racist.

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Son: Dad what does it mean to f***? Dad: Jimmy! don't use that kind of language.. use the word chainsaw instead. Son: Ok, well what does it mean to chainsaw? Dad: Well as you know, God created people, he started with Adam and eve and then he- Son: You keep referring to god as a he, are you suggesting that God has a penis? I guess that would explain the big bang theory... right? get it? Dad: ... Go chainsaw yourself, Jimmy.

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener.

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How do you kill batman? you stab him through the heart

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Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops. tom halls mum

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What is the difference between a black guy and a road? One you put tar on and the other one is a road

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I like the color potato.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the 99p mcdonalds mayo chicken was popular in the coop.

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What do you call a penguin that hangs around in playgrounds? A paedophile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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