roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

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11th September jokes are just plane wrong.

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How can you kill someone who looks like a squirrel? With an bomb. That would kill most people.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? because she had no arms. --- Knock, Knock Whos there? Not Sally.

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Whats the similairity between a dog and a cat? They're both cats, except for the dog.

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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Roses are red violets are blue we're stuck together like superglue roses go brown violets go darker cut the crap and the stupid laughter...I just went through a breakup

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Q: What's worse than biting into and apple and finding a worm? A: being severely malnourished, thus physically inept to do most simple tasks

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What's the difference between a Corvette and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

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How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

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Why did the little girl run to her mother? Because she saw a police inspector, who had already tried to kill her several times that week, aiming a poison dart at her forehead.

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Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

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I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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Why can't Helen Keller hear? She's dead

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Knock. Knock. Who's There? Its Jim, is Craig home? No he moved out sorry.

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Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? Because he is a Sikh who was mistaken for a muslim after the events of 9/11. His neighbors for 5 years have turned on him and now are throwing rocks at him to alleviate their anger while he is biking to his minimum wage job as a janitor at the local burger king, trying to make money for a family that doesn't love him anymore

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how does chuck norris eat an apple Just like every other person

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? About 3:26 PM Eastern Standard Time.

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How did Alice get revenge on Diane when Diane called her fat? When Alice was pregnant, she stabbed herself in the stomach and blamed it on Diane. Diane was then sent to prison for murder and received a sentence of 25 years. Alice laughed in court, and Diane was forced to commit suicide. Alice then stole Diane's husband, and she lived happily ever after.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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