An Irish man walks out of a bra.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out if the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, Monkey do.

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If three men were rowing a rowboat backwards across your front lawn, and six of the four back wheels fell off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? 17 because footballs don't have feathers.

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If you riding a jet-ski amd the wheels fall of, how many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Blue Ice Cream

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Why did the color blind man cut the red wire and accidentally blew himself up and all the other people involved in the situation? Because he didn't know how to defuse a bomb.

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A man goes to a doctor to check about an itch on his testicles. Turns out it was just a rash and is promptly prescribed medication and it clears up in a week.

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What did the farmer say to the cow on the roof? Get down.

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A blond Canadian and his Korean friend are going together to Korea. When checking in the person asks the Canadian if he has a return ticket leaving the country. He replies yes but he does not have it on him. According to Korean Customs and Immigration laws a non-Korean citizen must have a return ticket to enter the country. Inevitably follows a long and tedious process in order to procure the ticket in order to pass customs. The Korean and the Canadian continue to their boarding gate.

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finding nemo didnt make sense how could a shark go on a no fish diet

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You are the third derivative of the position function.

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Why was the man full? He ate a meal.

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why did the chicken cross the road, but didnt make it he didnt cross it. he was pushed by a band of gang members and hit by a bus

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What's the difference between ice cream and babies? I don't stick babies in my freezer...

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Shit.

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So a horse walks into a bar, animal service is called and after being unable to locate the owner he is put down.

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What did the volcano say to the other volcano? Nothing, Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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I dont have a girlfriend

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Q: what did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We're both lawyers!

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Q. How many jews can you fit in a car? A. depending on the car size and make, oh and the size of the ash tray is also important

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

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How do you make a plumber cry? Tell him that Luigi beat him to the princess

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. My mom went to the doctor and found out she has cancer, so when she told me, I was eccentric. That tree is green.

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What happened to the guy that got hit by a bus. He died

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What did the mole say? Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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