Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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What do you get when you run from Long Island to New Mexico? Tired.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Jehovah's Witnesses.

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what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

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What ever happened to Sally? We don't know she went missing over 5 years ago.

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Why did the boy pick up the baseball? He wanted to play baseball.

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3 thieves are also murderers and naked at the moment.

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Q: What's the difference between a vampire and a lawyer? A: A lot of things.

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What did the math teacher get after he ate and he ate? A full stomach.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have ADHD, Oh look a butterfly...

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whats red and smells like blue paint? blue paint on the rag

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What have a blueberry and a raspberry got in common? They both can't ride a skateboard

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A man is talking to his friend at work. The man asks his friend, "Did you see the game last night?" Then a plane crashes into the building and we call it 911

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Two Japanese men walked out of a bar. They drowned.

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What's ripe and orange? A ripe orange.

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If push pops give life a push, Then isn't your mailbox purple?

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I walked down the street. I picked up a quarter. It was shiny. Then I walked to school. I finished school, so I walked home, did my homework, and went to bed. Lesson learned: quadratic formula

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Why did the chicken cros- oh he got hit by a car.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Whats the difference between a bench and a black man? A bench is an inanimate object incapable of speech, emotion, or thought process.

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What did the blind, deaf, mute child get for Christmas? Leukemia

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A young man read a book. He then went back to the library to return the book, but got killed in a car crash on the way there.

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Vagina (Note: If you are gay just move on by.)

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What did the fish say when he hit the wall? A. Dam B. He Charlie I found the wall C. Both Well he didn't say both but he could have said A or B but it wouldn't make sense for him to say both.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops