What happens when a leprechaun refuses to give you his pot of gold? He doesn't give you his gold.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" and the duck says "Quack". The bartender is then promptly fired and committed to the nearest mental institution for thinking that ducks can talk and order beer.

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What does Mickey mouse do every day? Minnie mouse

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How do u kill a horse? U stab it with a huge butcher knife

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What do you call a woman with a penis? A Hermaphrodite.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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why did the kid strike out in baseball he had leprosy and his arms were amputated

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What's worse then Justin Bieber? 9-11

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yo mama so fat, she weighs 478 pounds and is in high risk of cardiovascular dieses and/or heart failure.

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What is the difference between finding a dead black man on the street or a dead dog? There are tire marks in front of the dog.

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Two girls are backpacking in the Sierra Nevada. They walk 8 km from their base camp at a bearing of 42 degrees. After lunch, they document the wildlife they have seen because they are tracking the populations of species native to the area. Then they continue on their hike, but this time at a bearing of 127 degrees. After 5 km, they reach their destination for the day and set up a temporary camp.

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A cannibal went for a walk and he passed his brother.

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The internet is the most terrible fucking place in existence.

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A Polack walks into a bar. Which makes sense because the bar was in Warsaw.

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whatt dont w do you call a person with legs that dont work Crippled

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If life throws you melons you might be dyslexic, but you also might not be.

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Q. What's like a square block of ice? A. A refrigerator.

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how many pancakes does it take to build a dog house? none boats don't have wheels.

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Roses are red violets are blue come on love show me you boobs/by kw

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Why couldn't the cat eat it's food? It's face was stapled to the floor.

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what has two legs and bleeds? half a dog

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a white guy walks into a black guy bar who walks out. A. half black half white baby.

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How do you scare a little boy? You tell him everyone he loves was shot to death by you and then kick his guardian .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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