Knock knock. Who's there? To get the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you get rid of herpes? You shoot up the cancer ward of a hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats worse than the holucaust.......... Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I've got a fever and the only cure is ibuprofen.

thumb_up thumb_down -159

why did the girl fall of her bike She had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a black man playing a bass guitar? A bassist.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you know if you're gay? You find yourself sleeping with people of the same sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A kid walks into a bar. He leaves wasted.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

ProX hacker JazZ Has aids hahahaha

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the dog say to the cat? "Bark."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

If you are riding on a broomstick and it breaks in the middle of the ocean... How many pieces of toast does it take to fill a light house? Purple, because Oranges cannot fly.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the greeter at walmart say to the black man? Welcome to walmart.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did one socially awkward kid say to another socially awkward kid? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Hey are you from Tennessee, 'cause you have a very nice accent.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did simran go to jessicas house? To go have a human taco

thumb_up thumb_down -12

When is a door not a door? When its ajar.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

a chinese wompus came out of the basement.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's a women. Why can't Stephen Hawking speak freely with his voice? Because he's autistic.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Yes!

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Two doctors were performing open heart surgery on a 54-year old woman. The surgery was a success, and she is now living comfortably in Portland, OR. She enjoys sweet tea.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Hear the one about the giraffe and the clown? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Yeah, Eliza, its me, its so strange, you are the only one I remember from highschool, I was worried you had forgotten about me, anyway, yeah type as if you where speaking to him, and dont worry, I know I could not keep a secret back then, and I told Nero, so and he promised me he would kindly break my fingers if I told anyone, besides I dont do that anymore trust me.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do friends and trees have in common? They will both fall over after being hit multiple times with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops