Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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When life gives you lemons, you should be wondering how "life" managed to give you those lemons.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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I'm currently on a seafood diet That is, I only eat seafood.

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What did the college student say after he failed his test? He didn't say anything, he was a mute.

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What happened when Sally got hit by a truck? WHO CARES CALL 911!!!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have AIDS and now you do too!

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How do you get 4 Jews in a car? Open the door and tell them politely to get in.

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Hey Eliz, just a final thought, if and when I die (hey I am your step dad after all, dont forget I am four years older than you now! So ill die first anyway, hopefully) Promise me that you will call me on the phone and either yell SNAKE ANSWER ME SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! Or BOSS ANSWER ME BOOOOOOOOOOSS! Never mind, I never liked videogames ironically, but hey, its funny, Suddenly this Boss guy shows up, and I feel like I have something in common with someone! A game character anyway, and its a fucking boring game too, just sneaking around, then you got to well pay people to build shit and I shut it off by then... ...Finally the nurses are here... Those guys again, hey guys, I cant speak nor remember what button to press to delete shit, but I heard bogosexuals with an h, dont get the message, you see the man with broken fingers there, go get me female nurses or... They sleeping? And not with me? Okay guys, get me out of here, I am humiliating myself in front of my uh... Frienddaughtersisterthing as for the rest of you fucks, has it ever seemed like I have ever cared about your inferior opinions above my superhuma... I am drun or something huh guys? 60 MG valium? You fucking murderers! Well will that other dru.. Fine then... Nero The End? Seriously flaggots! I cant stop typing, just get me out of this... Wheelchair? When did that happen? Well roll me out then! And please you know, fill that code thing and the terms and all that.

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what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

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Do you believe in love at first site? Or should I walk by again?

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What happened the the blonde that went swimming? She cooled off and enjoyed a hot summer day.

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What do you call a black pilot? A PILOT

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Women's rights.

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Why did the plane crash? -Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

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roses are red, Violets are blue, i have a gun, Suck my dick

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A bus crashes and everybody dies.

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Knock Knock. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?

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Why did the man wear a blue shirt? He didn't. He wore a green one.

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A blind man walks past a fish market then says "why hello lady's" ????

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Women's rights

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What do a snake and a bird have in common... They both fly, except the snake

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Chikin nuggets

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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