Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the difference between a prostitute and a cherry red Ferrari? A cherry red Ferrari isn't in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +94

Why are black guys so tall? Because their knee grows

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Q: What would happen if you threw a red brick into the black sea? A: It would get wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call it when a black man and a japanese woman get married? A wedding.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

:/ Meh, I am just a side character anyways... Dont really care...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you get a black guy to stop hanging around in your front yard? Hang him in the back yard.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

An Irishman walks out of a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do a fish and wood have in common? when they're dead, they float

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you say hooker in Chinese? ?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you make a little boy cry? Slap the cookie out of his hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Barack Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +16,287

A Black man walks into a gay bar. He has a great time because he is perfectly content with his sexuality.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happened when the ugly girl asked her crush out on a date? He said yes. He found her personality quite attractive

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? No amount of them could ever figure it out. They all tremble with fear in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two horses were in a field. One said "this is a good place to hide". The other said, "well, let's hope they don't Findus here!"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did lil' Bobby get for christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops