What do you call a cool pig? SPIDER-PIG!!!

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What did the sea say to the sand? Nothing, he just waved.

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Woman: If you were my husband, I've give you poisoned wine. Winston Churchill: Madame, if you were my wife, I would hope we could have enough love to attempt marriage counseling so as to work out these issues.

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How many baby can u fit in a cup? A: it depends how strong ur blender is How do you get them out? A: tortilla chips

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? Interrupting Cow who, unlike his quiet friends back on the farm, enjoys to speak when others are nearly finished with their sentence.

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If she's old enough to count, she's probably in second grade.

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Why did Hunter cross the road? No one cares, unless he gets hit.

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Your mother is so white that when she dances, she is off beat a little bit.

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'THIS IS NOT A JOKE, YOU ARE THE 1000000TH VIEWER'...

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What do you call a man with a spade on his head? Doug

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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So a man walks into a bar and says to the bartender I'll have a beer

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Your mom's so fat that she went in to get liposuction and subsequently died from infection.

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your mom is so black that it can be assumed she is of african descent

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This is a joke setup.

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Women's rights.

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender--TOAST

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree He was stapled to the first monkey Why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? its a refridgerator Why did the third monkey jump out of the tree It thought it was a game

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How do you make a person who wins the lottery sad? You threaten to kill his family.

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What's faster than a black man running with your tv His brother with your XBOX

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You mothers so ghetto, you died.

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An Amish walks into Best Buy

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If pro is the opposite of con . Is congress the opposite of progress?

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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