what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? It varies. Alzheimer's is a very slow progressing disease, and many people suffering from it are capable of a wide variety of a number of everyday activities.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What does mickee say to other animals. Mouse

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q.) How do you fit a baby into a bowl? A.) With a blender! Q.) How do you get it out? A.) With Tostitos! -Sebastian and Chris (aka 100 and Zelot) (we did not make this joke, we just had to share it)

thumb_up thumb_down +21

how do you make a blond girl cry? kill her family

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats worse than a bee sting? - Two bee stings Whats worse than two bee stings? -The Holocaust Whats worse than the Holocaust? -Three bee stings

thumb_up thumb_down -7

knock knock get lost!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Once, one man had a horse. And the horse had nothing against it

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Hello, I want likes. Press the up arrow.

thumb_up thumb_down -749

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. It burnt up on re-entry

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is black and is good at stealing stuff? a ninja.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the tractor run over the little boy? because he was in the way!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

wat is osama bin ladin's favorite sport grenade catch

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chiocken cross the road? There's no such thing as a chiocken.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q) How many boring people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) One

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the penis say to the other penis? What? Penis motherbucker

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a dog riding a bicycle? An talented dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a plane going to Africa with 100 black people on it? A plane, the contents of the plane is irrelevant...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I walks over to da shop de oother day and there was this guy and he was like... I bought some petrol. LOoooooooooL

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the gay man die? He had AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yo momma so fat, she has large amount of fat deposited in her body

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops