Your mama's so dumb, she don't even know it.

the chicken whent boomand then died

A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

You're a frog

There were two bagels sitting on a table in Denny's. One bagel turns to the other and says, "So how did that job interview go?" The other replies, "It went great, thanks".

What does it mean when people say your mom? it means that there name is Hunter

Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

Q: Do you know what Lady Gaga make for his birthday? A: A party

I got a joke. What did the Platypus say to the Policeman?" "What a ridiculous question, Platypus's can't talk.

what happened to the kid who didn't get what he wanted for his birthday? He committed suicide

Three Jews are hiding under the floorboards. One of them makes a noise and a second Jew elbows him so he'll keep quiet. They are heard and are all caught. It's now their turn to seek because they are playing Hide n' Seek.

What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shitzu? One delicious smoothie.

Yeah, me too. The car just ran straight through the stoplight and it was all over...

-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

What falls down, but never gets back up? A dead person.

why did the baby fall out of the tree? the monkey dropped it. why did the monkey drop the baby? it was dead.

A guy went to McDonalds and asked for a cheeseburger: —Can I have a cheeseburguer? —No

69

Roses are *yanks hair* Violets are *yanks hair* *sobs and yanks hair* I have tricolomania

Why did the chicken cross the road? What kind of society have we created that a chicken can't even cross a road without his motives being questioned?

Knock, Knock Who's there? A robber who will most likely kill you along with anyone else who will ruin their chances of becoming more wealthy off your most prized possessions.

What did the cricket say to the bear when it entered it's den? Nothing,crickets comunicate by rubbing their back legs together to create vibrations and sound,and it cannot be understood by any other animal besides crickets.

What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating.

Alex Eggbert

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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