A robot walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "can I get you a drink?" The robot replies, "No, I'm a robot."

I'm on a see food diet- it consists of fish and molluscs. sea*

Whats the difference between ice cream and dead babies? I'm not eating ice cream right now.

I was walking down the street the other day And I pushed a child under a bus

How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

two pigs in a bath one says to the other can you pass me the soap..the other replies..do I look like a typewriter!?

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding two worms in your apple. and being an orphan.

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

Why is Justin Biber so white? there's nothing in the closet.

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

like if u think princess kenny is the fairest maiden in all the land. if u dont, disregard this message.

What's the difference between you and a cat? The cats mom isn't a whore.

Q:Whats worse than a worm in apple? A:The Holocaust. Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: Were both lawyers! :D Q: What happens when you throw a purple rock in to a green river? A: It splashes

Why did Bert go to the doctor? He had an appointment.

A loving father took his two children to the park for a picnic. while the children went into the lake for a swim he drowned them both

Why did the jewish plumber commit suicide? After years abuse from his alcoholic father and rich sibling, he finally snapped and killed himself on his birthday after nobody told him happy birthday.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs

What do you do on Mother's Day? This is not a joke, I don't know what to do.

Doctor, doctor, I have a cavity! Go to the dentist.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had cancer.

What's the difference between a man and a woman? One has a penis, and one has a vagina.

Q: What does a baby look like in a microwave? A: I don't know, I don't masturbate with my eyes open.

So lion bites off a mans foot. He bleeds to death.

Why did the man rob the house? He had a horrible childhood which led him to making these bad choices.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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