How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Depending on the amount of saliva you produce each lick the answer to this question varies species to species.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Horses that lose Are made into glue

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what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

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what's the difference between a chicken and a grape? They're both purple........ except for the chicken

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Bob- yo mammas soo fat tha.. Joe- I know...

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You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

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friends are like potatoes. if you eat them, they die.

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What kind of cheese isn't yours Nacho Cheese actually it depends on the type of cheese that you stole due to your kleptomania

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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A straight man walks into a gay bar and is amazed by the amount of fun he has and how cool people can be when you don't judge someone based on sexual preference or your own religious beliefs.

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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What do you call a jew without a nose? A most likely kind and interesting anti- steriotypical person

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what's more funny then being raped? not being a minority!

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Welcome to AntiJoke.com Jeff. Jeff just got his mind blown.

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What did the muffin say to the cup cake? nothing, muffins can't talk, and cup cakes can't hear.

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What did the over confident jack-ass say to the hot girl, You'll do.

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Can I have a dollar? I don't know, can you?

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I like my coffee the way I like Christina Aguilera - I don't.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. They have been planning a girls night out for weeks.

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What's the difference between a prostitute and your mom? Your mom is a well educated lawyer who earns half a million dollar a year while the prostitute sells her own body for an extremely small amount of money.

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Paul Dylan King!

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I'll give you a nickel to lick my pickle, a dime to take your time and a quarter if I can f*ck you in the ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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