your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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How do you spell Madeleine Mccann? I A N

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he (assuming he bears male reproductive organs) saw some corn on the other side (using the light rays refracted primarily by his cornea onto the retina) which is his staple diet as he is a herbivorous chicken. As corn is the producer of the food chain in question and the chicken is the primary consumer, a fox being the secondary and an angry farmer being the tertiary, he needs to ingest this food source in order to obtain the glucose required to produce adenosine triphosphate by the process of aerobic respiration in the mitochondria of his chicken cells. Thus, the chicken crossed the road.

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What did the baby say to the man? Babies can't talk ,the baby did not say anythingto the man!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your landlord. Get the hell out.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Chuck Noris

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IM SEXY AND I KNOW IT Chrysanthemums are pretty but toads and people are damn to horny

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Why did my son fall off of his bicycle? Because I hit him with a steak.

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Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

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What is matt dalys favorite thing in the world? penis

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Hi I'm Ben What's your name? I forgot. Hi "I forgot" what's your name? Ben

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whats bad about being black and jewish they have to sit in the back of the oven

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A black man checks his watch. He sees that its 3:50, and calmly carries on with his day.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs? Names

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What has four legs, but cannot walk? A giraffe with polio.

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What do you call a man looking at Anti jokes on this ? you

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I farted!!!!! t'was smelly??????? I LIKE CRABS! #tomato problems

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What do you call a joke that is not funny? An un - funny joke.

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Did you hear about that superman guy? He died.

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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Why was the boy sad? His parents died in a horrible accient earlier that day.

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This guy went to the store because he needed potatoes. So he asked the clerk where the potatoes were at and she said "Isle fiveeeeeee!" So he went there and there were no potatoes ! hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahajhahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahhahaahhahahahahahahaahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahaahahahahahhhhahha

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Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and stink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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