Whats the best way to get a woman to sleep with you? Rape her

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The opposing forces behind all human beings is not light vs darkness, not good vs evil, but fear vs ' love. Whatever is overwhelmingly good for one person, is evil to many. Overwhelming darkness wont allow you to see. Overwhelming light will make you blind. You can never fear overwhelming love. You can never love overwhelming fear. These are the true polar opposites, part of all emotion that drive the human being.

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Q. Pete and Repeat were sitting on a wall. Repeat fell off. Which one was left? A. Pete. Yep.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

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There is a boy in a school............. SUDDENTLY, PEDOBEAR APPEARS!

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What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

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What's the difference between a cow and a cow? Nothing, they are both the same.

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Cyrus: Can you dig it?! Phil: I can feel it calling in the air tonite……..oh lord

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A man visits his doctor for an annual checkup. "Doc, I feel great! I'm running 5 miles a day, I just got promoted at work, and sex with my wife has never been better!" A few weeks later, his doctor calls him in. When he arrives, the doctor looks at him grimly. "I have some bad news. You have lung cancer." "But how? I don't smoke. My wife doesn't smoke. I have never felt better." The doctor pats him on the back, reassuringly. "This may be true, but you still have lung cancer."

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Roses are red, Violets are green, get in my bed, if you know what I mean.

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Excuse me sir, you wouldn't happen to have the time, would you?

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Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

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So a cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. The bartender, realizing that cats cannot talk nor do they posses higher brain functions, realizes he must be dreaming.

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why did Stevie Wonder run a stop sign? he was changing his CD's and missed it.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 was a really creepy movie

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There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

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What did the blind man get for Christmas? Poison.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun...

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Yo momma so ugly that she had self esteem issues and committed suicide, making her husband extremely depressed.

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Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

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Q:I finished my Homework A:thats what she said

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Loperson

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What is the difference between a black man and a burnt pizza? -Nothing there both black.

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Why did the blind man walk into a shop He didin't walked into a wall

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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