How did the Mexican cross the border without getting caught? He didn't; he was executed immediately.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Get in the van.

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What Does Alex J Simpsons Face have in Common with his hand? Spaghetti

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Why are people racist? Thats a good question

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Imagine: You are trapped in a prizon cell with no doors, no windows, no furniture and completely sealed in with nothing. What do you do? Stop imagining!

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Why is Obama black Because his parents were black

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no

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http://anti-joke.com/

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Whats big, grey, and cant climb trees? A carpark

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how did the little girl get to heaven? she died.

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Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

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What do you call a tree with no branches? A stick.

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Which is better; having a billion dollars or a trillion dollars? Trick Question, you aren't that rich.

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What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

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A funny joke: Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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What do you call a black man with a lip desiese? Jumbo shrimp

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What do you call a black guy who gives out change? A cashier.

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How do you get a movie star to go out with you? Blackmail.

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What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

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How do get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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your mother eats so many chocolates and sugary confectionary that i would recommend a check up the the dentist.

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what did one swedish guy say to another swedish guy? I dont speak russian

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Sasquatch. Sasquatch who? ROAR

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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