Why was the turtle blue? He wasn't you are color blind.

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What notes does the tightrope-musician have to worry about? They probably have to concentrate generally harder than the average musician in order to produce any correct, good quality notes.

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What do Asians eat for dinner? Home cooked meals

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Why do birds suddenly appear? If you were more observant, you would notice they usually approach gradually.

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What did the cripple kid get for Christmas? Cancer. You know what he got the next the next Christmas? Nothing he died.

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A gay man goes out with a butch lesbian and develops a loving relationship, years later they get married and have kids, adopting them from the local orphanage and lives happily ever after.

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Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

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A priest, a rabbi and a scientologist walk into a bar. They discuss their various religious viewpoints until the scientologist gets a call informing him of his mother's death. The priest buys him a drink. Then the priest gets a call informing him of his mothers death. The rabbi buys him a drink. The rabbi gets a call. The scientologist expects it to be about the rabbi's mother dying, so he prematurely buys him a drink. It was actually the lottery commission telling the rabbi he won 48 million dollars.

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Whats has 6 wheels and can fly? A dumpster, I lied about the flying.

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Why did the little girl walk into the wall? Because she was blind.

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3 Men walk into a bar, they all order up a drink. And then they paid their tabs and left.

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A Russian drinking something other than vodka.

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My son won the lottery. I shot him so I could have the money.

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If you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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whats black and doesnt like politics? a black chair

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Penisland

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So i can type anything in this box and it shows up on the website?

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What do you call a black man, an asian man, and a white man walking down the street? 3 men walking down the street.

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What did the apple say to the orange? The apple did not say anything at all because fruits do not possess the ability of speech.

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If you place a dog next to a cow, they're not the same size

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead. Q: Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? A: Because he was stapled to the monkey.

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What happens when you drop the soap in Prison? You pick it back up and go about your business.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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