Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree, because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree, becuase it was dead. why did the third monkey fall out of the tree, because he thought it was a game!

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

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"I see." said the blind man to his deaf son.

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What's red and bad for you teeth. A brick

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if u like this i wont pay you a dollar

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A Palestinian and an Israeli both board a plane at the same time. They exchange awkward glances and take seats at different ends of the plane.

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Hey, I'm Schrödinger, and this is crazy! But here's a sealed box... the cat lives, maybe...

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what did the dog say to the retarded black guy ? bark

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What did the blind, deaf, mute child get for Christmas? Leukemia

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If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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Why do guys love to wrestle? They like to have physical contact with other men.

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Yo mama is so fat, so when she jumped of a building, she died.

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A man was walking outside at night and he heard thunder and saw lighting so he took out a metal pole.

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How high is a Chinaman

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? In a desperate, but unsuccessful attempt to save his mothers life, as a serial killer pulled her into his van

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what does mandy enjoy on weekends a load of cum in her face

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What did the UPS man bring Sara? a box. whats inside it is only Sara's buisness

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So this guy is waiting for a heart transplant. He dies.

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Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

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what did the girl do when she saw a spider in her bathroom? she peed.

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Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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