Whats the difference in car and a bicycle? One has an engine and drivetrain designed to run on gas and the other is powered by your output of work

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Whats similar between a grape and a duck? They're both purple. except not the duck.

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Q: What is wrong on many different levels? A: Rape on an elevator.

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Q. How many Jews can you fit in a car? A. Four, I drive a Volkswagen Jetta

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What did the man say to the woman he was in love with? Sure, I understand and I'm okay with being just friends.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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I ran out of anti-jokes. However, here's a cool math puzzle. 492 357 816 Using every number from 1-9, each row added up equals to 15, horizontally, vertically, and diagonally. Here's another cool word play TEA URN BAY Words horizontally are Tea, Urn, Bay Words vertically are Tub, Era, Any Words diagonally are Try, Bra

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldnt she get up? She had no legs. Knock Knock. Whos There? Not Suzie

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WELL YOU ARE ALL A ROOF. So pie, my dearest Adam. Like a butthole.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink. What does he order? Nothing. The horse was incapable of speaking English then shat on the floor, kicked over a chair and then left.

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What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Pen. Pen who? Pen is blue. The pen is blue. THE GOD DAMN PEN IS BLUE!!!!

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Why can't the T-Rex clap his hands? Because he's dead.

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How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are red Violets are blue your mum is fat and so are you

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Roses are black violets are black I can't hear anything I'm Helen Keller .

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What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

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Any similarity between Jesse and a human is purely coincidental!

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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A boy walks into a bar. He wakes up in a hospital 3 days later with a bruise on his head. He asks the doctor, "What happened?" The doctor replies, "The bartender smashed a glass on your forehead."

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Whats Big, black, and in your moms underwesar? A snake that escaped from a pet store which is causing a lot of commotion in the local community. Meanwhile your mom is getting drilled by a big psycho who escaped the mental institution. JMM

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

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What did the nerd say to his friend regarding the test they had just taken? - Nothing, he doesn't have any friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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