What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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knock knock no no you go now i clean

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How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

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How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Why couldn't the black man get home? His car broke down, and Goodyear was closed.

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Theodore was a small kid that lived down the street. Little did he know, that Kaiwen the Poor Pedo was his next door neighbour. So he was walking one day down the street. He saw Kaiwen dead. Because he ate too much sugar. So Theodore called the police. But his phone broke suddenly. Theodore realized that his brother had filled it with broken eggshells. He was sad. He took out a few golf balls and stuffed them in his mouth. But he couldnt forget taht a fellow neighbour had died. He buried the body beneath the Carpet of Ol' Justin's House. He wasnt happy. His dad confiscated his laptop. And the golf balls

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To see if it could.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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What'd the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish, remember?

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? ...get back in the kitchen, I'm hungry

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What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

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Non-Anti-Joke.com!

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A hat fell into the Indian Ocean. What happened to the hat? It got wet

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What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? A holocaust in which all the Jews are raped by giant scorpions, and then killed.

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A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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why was the Jewish child sad? He was recently abandoned by all his family.

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Roses are Red Violets are Purple Not blue

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A man is walking down thwe street. All of the sudden, an armoured truck comes around the corner really fast. The back doors swing open, and bags of money fly toward him. "I can believe this is real!" the Man exclaimed. "It's not. Feed the pig." said a man in pig suit with a giant coin-slot on the head.

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Whats plastic and phonie a phone

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AIDS

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating its way up.

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your mum is so fat her patronas is a cake...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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