Whats the worst thing that happened in the holocaust? it ended

thumb_up thumb_down -35

what is the difference between a boy scout and a jew? boy scouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down

whats better than sex? cookies

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Ill do a lot more than just try you, anyways, technically I learned to play the piano as a kid, but now I play on a small cheap keyboard (the musical kind) and sincerely, I kinda suck at it now, my abusive parents expected perfection beat the shit out of me blahblahblah, thats really all of it, trauma. My senses, well, when I was a kid I was terrified of gravity (one of the rarest fears in the world) because I had no idea I was consciously shifting things myself. So lets say... If I somehow end up hanging upside down, I just shift it, so my brain believes I am not and I experience no discomfort, there is a lot more to it, ill tell you, damn nose wont stop bleeding and my waifu got a bit scared, she got some bad bronchitis and she still has not recovered a 100 percent, but its just the cough now though... Lets just say that my ability to balance, is about 300-500 percent higher than any regular human, and that I can stand on one leg enough to beat the guiness record book 50 times... ...IIIIF I was in good shape, which I am not.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

thumb_up thumb_down +107

Want to hear the best joke ever? Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the square root of 6739472? Who gives a f***?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

how doyou wake up lady gaga youu poke er face

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why didn't the black man feed his family? They'd eaten about an hour ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I just can't stand sitting down!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is black and white and red all over? A zebra that has been shot, because poaching is quite common in many African savannas.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's funny about the holocaust? Nothing. Whoever thinks the holocaust is funny is a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A kid walked into a bar, but was kicked out immediately as state law mandates you must be 21 to be withing 12 feet of an operable bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

If life though you lemons, through skittles at them and say tast the freakin rainbow.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Yo momma's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror she decided to get plastic surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I have a knock knock joke. You start.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I love boobs

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Arab 1: Du good bai me, and I'll du good bai you. Arab 2: Ye men, sounds good men. Arab 3: O man, no way. Arab 4: K, u wait...jus wait n see.. Arab 5: I no interest! Me so saudi! Arab 6: D'oh...ha, ha, haa! Arab 7: This is so bahrain...I'm going to go club some protesters.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

a jew throwing a dime into a wishing well.

thumb_up thumb_down -117

Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the man named Thomas? Because that was his name

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops