so you're waling through the desert and a tire falls off your canoe. How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse?

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Q. How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? A. 17.

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Q: What happened when Bob the Super-mega-ultra man, in his hurry to return an item that was objectively proven to be hazardous to physically normal people, banged his head very hard against a wall of a random building that was located on his route of travel? A: He recieved a concussion and had to coalesce in bed for a long time in order to return back to his regular style of living. Bob was merely a nominal 'Super-mega-ultra' man. He gets hurt practically as easily as anyone else.

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Hello? Hi. Who is this? Yo mom. Your not my mom. Im the Irish man that did your mom.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side Why did the lollipop cross the road ? It was stuck to the chicken's head Why did the chicken commit suicide ? He couldn't get the lollipop off its head

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Nuneaton..

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Roses are red Violets are blue My dad drinks a lot Help Me

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Where did the eight year old go during the Boston bombing? Everywhere.

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Knock knock ... KNOCK KNOCK ... I guess nobody's home.

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Jacob Edwards has friends.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead live in the same neighborhood. They are Desperate Housewives

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roses are blue violets are blue everything is blue I'm sad now

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What was wrong with the black guy? He was black

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When you say that Chuck Norris has counted to infinity twice. I say that you cant count to infinity because it isnt a quantifyable number

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Why didn't the lolipop taste like anything to the boy beacuse he was aborted

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Yo' mama's so fat, she has difficulty finding clothes that fit

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Chuck Norris once punched a horse in the chin. Nearby people were disgusted at this act and immediately reported him for animal abuse. Today he is in prison

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An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb One because lawyers are usually well educated and know how to screw in a lightbulb

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A crazy priest squats down and poops in the middle of the church... nobody understood what was going so they pointed and laughed.

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Q: a black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? A: The mexican. They're going to the bookstore to get some books.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Cause she's a woman

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Why was i sad when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Can you pass the soda? Sure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops