Ha-Ha! Well now, we call this the act of mating But there are several other very important differences Between human beings and animals that you should know about I'd appreciate your input Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts Yes I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up You've had enough of two-hand touch you want it rough you're out of bounds I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hashbrowns Come quicker than FedEx never reach an apex just like Coca-Cola stock you are inclined To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now Love the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket Like the lost catacombs of Egypt only God knows where we stuck it Hieroglyphics? Let me be Pacific I wanna be down in your South Seas But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means "Small Craft Advisory" So if I capsize on your thighs high tide, B-5 you sunk my battleship Please turn me on I'm Mister Coffee with an automatic drip So show me yours I'll show you mine "Tool Time" you'll Lovett just like Lyle And then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch "X-Files" Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Do it again now You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel Gettin' horny now

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W.N.B.A.

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Why do vampires suck blood? Because they re crazy.

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What is the best way to put out a fire? Stop, drop and have an orgy.

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Why did the family at dinner not tip the waiter? He was mean and spat in their food.

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a man walks into a bar and it hurts

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who`s there? Not Suzie

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There once were 2 cowboys who were lost on a dusty trail. Later on they found their way out and are now doing very successful

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What do u call a man who is smart. A lawyer/ genius/ smart man

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Cleavlin has a shmaaala dik

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Whats the difference between a dead cat and a woman. The cat had a life.

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken so it will wonder when not properly fenced in

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cher. Cher who? Just Cher.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My dick can talk And it says it wants you

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Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar And doesn't

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Steve Jobs didn't die. He went to go set up iCLOUD.

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Women's rights

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Two black people jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? Who cares.

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black

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What does a baby sound like being cooked in the microwave. I don't know I was to busy masterbating.

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What's worse than getting no up-votes on an anti-joke? Getting down votes

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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What is black and white and cant get through revolving doors? A zebra with a spear through its head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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