A woman sees a sign on a store that says "husbands for sale." Curious, she walks inside. The clerk says "These men will be perfect husbands, they'll cook and clean for you and see to your every need." Shocked, the woman calls the police and reports the store for human trafficking.

hey timmy, wanna go to Disneyworld?! tough. *10 seconds later* still no timmy

How will Jesse die? His mom doesnt have any food left (or money) so she eats him, and then jesse's fat little brother farts on his obese corpse

What did the gravel say to the road? Give me the D.

Now I have been typing without even thinking about that, and you have been following me.

Why did the Jew pick up the dollar on the side of the road? Because he dropped it.

Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

What did the coach do to the player Coached the player

If you go to an animal shelter to get a pet god, you may be dyslexic.

What do you call a cat in a piece of bred? An inbred cat.

Why doesn't your dad want to have sex with your mom? Because my penis is already in her vagina, thus your dad's inability to place his penis in her vagina.

What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

What is black and blue and red all over? Rihanna

Person 1: You have something on your head Person 2: What? Where? What is it? Person 1: Hair

What's the reason my dog died? I ate him.

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not your cheese.

Your mother is of a healthy weight and a pleasure to be around.

How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

Watch this summer, as General Jack Ryu, attempts to fight his way across the jungle only known as "The streets" as he seeks to save Mary.Bison from the evil clutches of Master Jamie Ken in this epic written trailer! Jack Ryu: So we are brothers? Jamie Ken: No, I am your failed clone! I spontaneously begin burning from me feet and hands! WHHHHHHYYYY WAS I NOT THE CHOOOOOSEN ONE!!!!!! Mary B: Ryu... He is the fifth! THE FIFTH HAS ARRIVED! Jim "Dan" Daniels: Yes certainly, it is well within my scientific genius to create the fifth, yet my former associate Bob Sagat lost an eye in an explosion... CAN JACK RYU SAVE THE WORLD FROM THE MOST DEVASTATING BOMB IN THE UNIVERSE: THE AKUMA BEFORE JAMIE KEN UNLEASHES IT? CAN JACK RYU... FIGHT TROUGH THE STREETS... AND LIVE UP TO THE FIFTH AND SAVE MARY BISON? ALL DEPENDS IF HE CAN CONTROL HIS INNER CHUN LI! STREET FIGHTER V: rEVOLUTION

Q: How did Mary get frostbite A: Her mother locked her in a freezer

If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The Police.

I baked tonight. What did you bake? Brownies. What kind of brownies? Chocolate.

What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

Can you guess the following words? Boo*s s*x *orn g*y cu*t b*tch Answers: Books, six, horn, guy, cult, batch.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...