What did the kid with cancer get for christmas. Nothing. He was Jewish.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I am an orphan I have no parents

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why didnt the man go to the wedding? he wasnt invited.

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Do you know the Muffin Man? Of course you don't, faggot.

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If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

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I heard the new Batman movie was to die for

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How can you kill a blonde? Hack her to bits.

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How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

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What's worst then finding a worm in your apple??? Yo momma

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Q. Why did the koala bear go to court? A. Because too many people were referring to it as a bear when it is infact not a bear.

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how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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Guy: Roses are red, violets are blue, you're beautiful and sexy too. Girl: Roses are red violets are blue, how many girls have you told that to? Guy:... Girl: Exactly.

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A child wasn't wearing knee pads when he was skateboarding. He proceeded to fall of his board and break his arm

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the food supply was scarce

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why did the goat go up the ladder? because its ladder goat

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a purple river? It gets wet...

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

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Do you believe that if I theoretically am unmatched in many ways, would feel less alone if I decided to become more like the rest?

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What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

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So this guy is waiting for a heart transplant. He dies.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

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What has many legs, but can't walk? A dead spider.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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