Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

A Priest, a Rabbi and an Imam were having dinner together at a local restaurant. Which caused a group of Republicans sitting nearby to ask for another table.

What do you call a black man in church? Religious

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

Why was a woman not considered in the role for a stunt driver? Because her skill level was not sufficient enough for the requirements.

What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

What happened when barba opened the coca cola? The cap flew off and hit the fence then the train then the moon then the pillow then the sun then the pole and the pole fell and hit the baseball and the cap landed on the floor... Then my turtle died

Why did the man fall of his bicycle? Because someone threw a fridge at him

Q: Why did the man die of starvation??? A: He didn't eat for 3 days!!

What's long and black? A long and black object.

Q. why can't hellen keller drive? A. because she is dead

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

How many dead babies can you fit in my car? 37 1/2

I was on Facebook today. Opened someones wall. Read "LIKE if you know someone that needs to be smacked in the face with a shovel." So I liked it and wrote my exboyfriend's name.......

What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

9/11

How do you get a bunch of baby guts out of a bathtub? A lot of tostitos.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a car.

An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

Duck A lays an egg which rolls into Duck B's nest. To whom does the egg technically belong to? Neither, ducks do not have the legal right of ownership.

joe galasso from plainview ny

a man is having trouble getting onto the internet on his home computer. so he he calls a computer technician to help him. \

So two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

What do short Mexicans do after a hot shower? Dry off with a towel like everyone else,

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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