What's bigger than a breadbox? Whitney Houston's coffin.

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What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

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what do you call a man with no friends? it's because of all the wear and tear that's done to the socks being thrown in her, and she desanitizes only the nun with no forebeard

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Q:What happens to an elephant if he falls from a building with 10 floors? A:He dies

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What did the shark say to the elephant? Nothing, they live in different habitats

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What's worse than finding half a suicide tablet in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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On a scale of 1 to Kevin James, how much do you exercise?

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There's an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. They are all trapped in a jail cell. Eventually they all starved to death.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

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roses are red violets are blue I can't rhyme refrigerator

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What did the homosexual get for Christmas off his boyfriend? A lovely present off his loving partner.

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Your mom is so stupid she went back to collage and got her masters n buissnes.

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A:Knock Knock B:It's open

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Why was the little boy cold? Cause he was traped In a fridge

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Q: What is George Harrison's favorite hairstyle? A: How can we know? He's dead!

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why did the baby cross the road...? cause he was chained to my bumper

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A man with glasses and a cane walks out if a clothing store and accidentally bumps into a woman, knocking his hat off "Can't you watch where you're going?" the woman asks. The man then slaps her, knocking her to the ground. He picks up his new designer fedora, and drives off in his $90,000 Cadillac. The woman, after dusting herself off, gets the guy's plates, convinces a few witnesses to testify against the man, and informs the authorities of an assault. He was later arrested for assault as well as pimping and soliciting sex. He is found guilty in a court of law and is sentenced to 2-5 years in prison, and is doled a hefty fine.

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What 2 differences does a potato have in common? They both have very thin skin.

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Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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What is pink and smells like red paint? Pink paint

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What's long and yellow? A yellow tube.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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