An atom walks into a bar. Did it grow legs?

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Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? Because they smell bad and are ugly.

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Knock, knock Who's there? You... and you just lost the game. -Eka

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your mothers so blonde she has yellow hair.

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when Life gives you lemons, make lemonade. So i made some lemonade. Turns out the lemons Kawazaki Life gave me were poisoned and i shortly die afterwards. i wouldve died cursing out her name but she was cute so i forgave her in my mind. and thus i die in peace.

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Hello, nice to meet you.

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Knock knock. Who's there- oh wait, I don't care. Get away from my house or I am going to call the police.

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Where was the declaration of independes? At the bottom

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What did Sally get for Christmas? AIDS

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A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

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Q: Whats the difference between a Jew and a Boy-scout A: Boy-scouts come back from camp

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What has 5 legs, 4 eyes, and 8 stomachs? Nothing.

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Why do you stick a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the expression on its face...

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I have a sandwich and chips for lunch! But instead of a sandwich I have macaroni, and instead of chips I have no friends.

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Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

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A dyslexic man walks into a building labeled, Bra. He then thinks he has found heaven but is suprised when all that is served is beer, not milk.

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Your muffins smell good! Oh you is just nasty.

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(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

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Give a man a fish, feed him for a week. Teach a man to fish, he'll starve to death. Provide this man a fishing rod, and now finally you're doing something helpful.

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Why did the old man miss the Alzheimer's Day walk? Because he died in his sleep.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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What do you call a prison inmate with no arms or legs? John. That's his name.

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What is the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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