What makes a catholic priest happier then a visit to the penn state locker room? Introducing Jesus to people and them accepting him as their savior.

A recently widowed blond was on her way to an appointment with her attractive physician, when she realized that she was almost out of gas, so she stopped to refuel at a station near his office.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

What happend to the murderer who ate people? He was sent to jail for a number of years and now is having work done to stop him from eating people

Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black person on a bike? Its probably your bike.

This sentence is not humorous in any fashion whatsoever.

What did the black man drink on a hot summer day? Some water, it quickly replenished the liquids he was perspiring do to the temperature being sufficiently hotter than his body temperature

its was amazinglysmooth fuck off

Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

Did you hear about the kidnapping? Well you should be very concerned because he hasn't been found in 4 years.

Your dad walked into a bar. It was a gay bar.

Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

what did the tomato say when he was cut open? nothing, because vegetables are unable to speak

what did the man say to his wife? I love you

WARNING!: THIS JOKE MAY BE OFFENSIVE::: three mexicans wanted to cross the united states borders when they were greeted by a border guard with a gun. the guard tells the three mexicans that if they wanted to pass the border, they will have to do as he says, to which the 3 of them agrees. the guard tells them to go gather a pair of fruits, so like that each of them went their own way to go get some fruits. the first mexican came back with a pair of apples. The guard orders him to stick both of them up his ass and if he makes a sound, the guard will kill him. The mexican obeys and sticks the apple halfway when he screamed. the guard killed him. The second mexican came back with a pair of cherries. The guard ordered the same thing and told him the same thing. the second mexican made 1 cherry and a half when he giggled. So he died also. when he got to heaven, he meets the first mexican. to which the 1st mexican asks, "why did you laugh? that was so easy!" and the 2nd mexican responded, "i giggled because i saw the third mexican coming with a pair of water melons."

A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they got married and lived happy together for the rest of their lifes.

Knock knock Come In.......

What's awkward? Your phone going off at a funeral What's more awkward than that? Your ringtone is Highway to Hell

An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey was a dead. Don't you dare laugh. Asshole.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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