your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

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This is a joke only for males: Walk into any semi busy public restroom. Stand at the urinal for about 30 seconds to a minute acting as though you cannot find your penis. Make sure you have the attention of at least 2 other urinators and then exclaim quite loudly "I can't find it!" then walk out.

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there are three girls one said daddy why is my name rose because a rose fell on her head when yur a baby. daddy why is my name feather because a feather fell on your head when your a baby mumamhama, SHUT UP CINDER BLOCK!

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Why didn't Tom have to pay for his ride to the funeral? Because he was dead and in a coffin.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

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Once upon a time, a handsome prince met a beautiful princess. They both fell in love with each other. They then got married and lived happily ever after.

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I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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So this farmer had theses two amazingly fast horses, one named slokey and the other pokey. They would run in the pasture and bring many people to watch. So one day this man says hey, you should enter them in the county derby. So he does and the whole race its slokey, pokey slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. So after the farmer collects his prize money a man walks up and says, hey those horses are pretty fast, you should enter them in the state derby. So he loads his horses up to the capital and prepares them. When the gates open slokey and pokey dash out of the gate. The whole race its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After all the press conferences a man says, hey you should enter those horses in the kentucky derby. So the farmer enters them and drives down to kentucky. The gates open and the whole time its slokey, pokey, slokey, pokey, and slokey wins by a nose. After the press meetings a man says hey you should enter your horses in the european derby. The farmer says no, im going to retire my horses. One fall afternoon pokey says to slokey, man, i wish i could have won a single race. So they race around the huge pasture and the whole way its slokey, pokey, slokey pokey, and pokey wins by a nose! All the farm animals go crazy and the farm dog says "congratulations pokey you finally won!" And pokey says "HOLY SHIT A TALKING DOG!"

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Why can't bob fix it? I through a frige at him.he died.

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Hey, guess what. What? ... Hello? Sorry, I don't talk to strangers.

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What is worst than a worm in your apple, the holocaust and everything else? Finding me in your bed (or your mother screaming "help please, no wait its too good I will endure the pain") Rather than Santa`s presents for X-mas. Your friendly Neighborhood and Future ONE AND ONLY EMPEROR R*pist Moral Man:: X-mas is a great way of putting it, after all it is your kind that X-ed Christ... ...As for your mother/sister/Infant/ screaming... Don`t worry, I will come for you too when I am done, it might take a while to violate someone to death though so be patient, because you might end up as a patient... Hahahaha! If you are really FUCKlNG LUCKY!

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How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? Spray paint it blue then shoot it with a blue elephant gun

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twilight

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What did the man do after he took a bite of his pie? Chew. After that? Swallow. Then? Repeat.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

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What she says: “You’re really sweet, but I have a boyfriend.” What she means: “You’re really sweet, but I definitely don’t want to date you.”

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Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them they die.

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What's worse than getting rejected by your date? Finding out she gave you a social disease. Namely AIDS.

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What did the man do after a bad day at work? He went home and beat his wife

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing, fruit can't talk.

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Knock, knock. Door opened.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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