Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it.

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The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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I was going to post some witty jokes, but then I realized they weren't funny.

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Why doesn't the vampire like garlic? You have to exist to like garlic.

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What is worse than Justin Bieber? Well, 1. Deforestation 2. Hurricanes 3. Diabetes 4. Mass Murder ....and probably much more.

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Why do people read Bibles? To learn about God.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police. There was a severe accident not long ago. Your family are dead.

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb in your apple.

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Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

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whats funny? laughing at people when they die a slow and painful death.

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why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled yo his face.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. A.Knock knock B. Who's there? A.Not Susie

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What do you call a dog riding a bicycle? An talented dog.

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What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

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What do you call a black woman working at a bar? A Bartender. What do you call an asian woman working at a bar? A Bartender.

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"What was the hardest thing about that kid getting killed by that bus." "What?" "My dick"

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What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas? A pair of protesthic arms which changed his life forever

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Q: Why did the little Canadian girl start crying ? A: Because her mum through a fridge at her.

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knock knock whos there boo boo who? stop crying its only me! its not you, my mom has cancer, my dad was killed in a car accident, my pregnant wife has been murdered, and my uncle touches me.

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Why can't Billy ride a bike? Because he's a fish

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Q: Why did the Creeper explode? A: Cause you invaded and took his land that was rightfully his. He's not the monster, You are!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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