What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. They both died at the same time in a horrible shipwreck. There were no survivors.

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Why was the T-Rex always sad? He couldn't clap his hands.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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-knock knock -i'm not at home, go away!

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Violets are red. Roses are blue. I am drunk, and i'm about to spew.

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H o m o comes out as homo

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He got AIDS and died.

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Q: What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A: A park bench can support a family of four.

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What's big white and can't fly? -Half of America Whats big brown and can't fly? -Crap

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Her Majesty's Government of the United Kingdom of Great Britain

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? Nothing, he's the same person

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Man goes fishing.... Catches Fish.

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your other apple.

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Its behind you like if you looked behind

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what types of people have big noses? people whose parents both carried the recesive gene.

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How many software professionals does it take to get a file committed to source control? Well, today it took five.

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What did Tyrone Jenkins say when Obama was elected? Nothing. He is not a real person, but merely a hypothetically existent man used only for the portrayal of a lacking punchline.

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What's worse than locking your keys in ur at outside of an abortion clinic? Going in side and asking for a coat hanger!!

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What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Roses are red.

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What does have stripes, give milk and can fly? A zebra, a cow and an eagle.

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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