A programmer, and engineer and an accountant meet up for an after work drink. Afterwards they go home to their separate apartments and think how socially inadequate they are.

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Why did old Dorris shit herself? Because Margaret fell over.

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A man is pulled over because he is suspected of drunk driving. The officer comes to the window and is greeted by a man who then replies: What seems to be the officer, problem?

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Who can make 50 iPads in 1 hour? An Asian

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Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

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Why did the dog go in the bar? Because the door was left open

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What do you call two black guys on a bike? Unsafe operation of a bicycle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it ran away and it's coop was on the other side of the road

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Mark Mark who? Mark Jennings. Oh hey, Mark, come in.

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If you throw a red stone in a blue lake what does it become? Simply a wet stone.

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How do you become thinner in a week? Stand in front of a Bulldozer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blood is red also Nothing else is blue

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Why are you on anti joke? Because your not funny enough to make your own jokes

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You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

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A nigger looked up his family tree and a gorrila shit in his face

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why did Mark Nara cross the road idk why? he didnt

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What's purple and gross? Purple gross stuff

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A man with Alzheimers favorite thing to read is the first page of the antijoke book

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple?

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A Muslim walked into a bar. He didn't drink anything

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A scientist walks into a bar. His forehead becomes swollen.

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whats yellow and blue and green all over? the color green

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Shah I'm being chased by a man riding instead a pig in a caravan smoking Apparently I'm a man riding on a pig in a caravan smoking

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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