A muslim walked into a bar. Then he walked out because he had made a wrong turn.

when do you go to heaven? Never, it doesn't exist.

What's better than winning the lottery? Winnig the lottery twice.

Beached whale: "Look at me, I'm a land mammal"

Q:what did the Aardvark say to the other Aardvark. A: nothing because Aardvark do not have the mental capacity to carry out basic conversations

Two scientists walk into a bar. One says "I'll have H20", the other says "I'll have a beer." The first one is the one to drive them to their homes.

I've just been struck by an enormous bolt of lightning. I am covered in boils and my house is full of frogs. I strongly recommend that when referring to God, always use the upper case 'H' on all personal pronouns.

A blind man and his dog walk into a store, the man lifts up the dog and begins to spin around. When questioned about his activity the man replies, "I'm just looking around"

Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Due the limited cognitive ability and a lack of critical thinking skills, the chicken mistakenly ventured across the road in search of grain. Luckily the chicken was not injured on this occasion, however other chickens may not be so lucky in the future.

Why did the groom have cold feet? Because he was insecure in his relationship with his soon to be wife.

How do you knock a clown off a swing? Hit it with an axe multiple times.

What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

Why did the girl cross the road? To get run over by a bus.

why did the tortoise cross the road? it does not matter, it got hit by a vehicle and died on impact.

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? A question and answering session of information used to test knowledge of a specific idea or person.

What"s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

If I was black, I wouldn't be white.

Whats white and all over my room? paint

Wanna hear something dirty? Mud.

yo mama so fat, her favorite food is seconds.

What's funnier than 3 midgets in a treehouse? A talented comedian.

what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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