Why are a black man's eyes always bloodshot red after having sex? Pepper spray.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walks into a bar. He has a beer and then goes home.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferarri? I don't have a ferarri in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Did the chicken cross the road? No because it was in a fenced in area like all farm animals should be

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Barack Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down -108

How many cans does the average alcoholic drink in one night? None. Cans are solid and therefore cannot be drank.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Why was the blonde girl stupid? She had suffered sever brain damage the previous month and was still recovering.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

This is supposed to be an anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: I have no Idea what you would call cheese which isn't yours. However, it seems quite trivial to take time to discuss a nonsensical topic such as cheese which isn't yours.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

a ginger named corey walks into a bad and gets pistol whipped after raping his classmate

thumb_up thumb_down -3

There's a priest, doctor, and blonde on a plane. At the end of the flight they all go their separate ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two giraffes walk into a bar, hit their heads, cracktheir skulls and die.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what's green and has wheels? grass, i lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Chuck Norris was once engaged by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you kill an Asian? Poke him with a large fork until hes dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q:whats the difference between grass and a car? A:They all have wheels, except the grass

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Yo mama is so so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

F? No k

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops