Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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What kind of key can unlock a banana? Basically any key that is sharp enough.

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why did the car go to the bathroom? it had gas.

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A man adopts an orphan. He waits till the child is a teenager to tell the news. He then commits suicide as to scar the child emotionally for the rest of its life.

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JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WHAT'S THE ANSWER?! WHAT DO YAH MEAN YA DUNNO?!

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Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

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Two men sit down at a bar. First man: I hear you're having a baby! Second man: My wife had a miscarriage. First man: Oh.... The talking ceased

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Oh you expected a funny joke? Oh well

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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why was osama bin laden shot and killed? because he was a very violent man and deserved his punishment

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Why did the witch ride her broom? Because the vaccum was to heavy...

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

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Why did the little kid color outside the lines? He had Parkinson's Disease.

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What is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say orange? Well you shouldn't be. I came to tell you your family died in a car crash and you have AIDS.

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Why are humans and squirrels the same? They both live in trees except for the human

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What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

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What did the Triceratops get for his birthday? Nothing. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Agricultural production fell significantly.

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Why did Susie fall off the monkey bars? She had no arms.

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why is 6 scared of 7 because 7 is scary...

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what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

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What's funnier than a dead baby? We'll.. Pretty much everything I can think of.

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A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops