Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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What does the scouter say about his power level? It's over 9'000!!!!!!!!

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i love huge wieners.

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What happened to the black guy who got pulled over by the cops? He was told that his left tail light was out

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What's the difference between an alcoholic and a drug dealer? An alcoholic is an extremely corrupted, and unhealthy living person. Though so is a drug dealer... They are both very harmful situations in many ways.

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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Q: what do you call a phone that's fake? A: a phony...

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Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a blender? A: None. It is a sick and depraved act that is probably illegal anyway.

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"why did the chicken cross the road?" "to get to your house" "knock knock" "who's there?" "The chicken"

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Why did silly Miss Sally put her baby in the dishwasher? Because she was suffering from advanced stages of Schizophrenia. She thought that her baby was a dish. Her mother, Carol watched in horror as her granddaughter was placed inside. A tear dribbled from her eye. Things had been bad, but because Sally was her daughter, she had been tolerant. Carol sobbed as the baby screamed in terror, unable to escape. Finally, Carol, tears in her eyes, called Child Protective Services on her own daughter, something she didn't want to do. When CPS representatives finally came, they were horrified at the sight of a screaming baby covered in suds with burnt skin that had been scorched by hot jets. Sally's baby, Alex was taken from her and put into foster care.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

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So much oil was spilled into the ocean that it is killing animals.

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Why did Jane's parachute not open? Because a plane hit her on the way down.

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa? He's Jewish.

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How do you get a fat man to go outside? Blow up his house

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? neither has he

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why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He had no guts

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Three men are facing a firing squad. They are all promptly executed. Even if they were to escape by distracting the executioners, they would no doubt be shot down before they could get for.

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A rabbi, a preist, and a homosexual are at a bar... What a fine example of a well cultured community.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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a fat man walks into a bar and gets laughed at because his shoes are untied

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops