What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

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What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

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How do you make a boy cry? Kill his family

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What's the most famous anti-joke? This one.

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What is red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

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i have a christmas tree.

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How do you stop a car from crashing into a wall? -You can't, you are welcome to try, but please don't.

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Why did Lady Gaga arrive at the Grammy's in an egg? Because she was born that way.

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Wenn Sie dies zu übersetzen, dann ist dein ein Esel

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A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

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What did the Bishop say to the pebble? Wash my car

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Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

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Q: What did the poor man do when he saw a Ferrari? A: He realized that he would really enjoy having the money to buy such a nice vehicle, so he decided to take it upon himself to enroll in night classes. After many years of hard work, he earned a degree and a high-paying position at a large software corporation, and bought his dream car. He often told the story to his children as an example of what hard work and a goal in mind could achieve you. He lived a long, productive life and died fulfilled.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What else is new?

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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Why do cows have tails? Because my pet rock stopped breathing.

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Why did the Asian man open up a Sushi restaurant? Because he had a fetish for cumming in sushi and giving it to strangers.

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What's the deal with airline food... It has to be packaged and prepared in such a way large quantities of people can eat the meal with minimal preparation, which results in lower quality. If you don't like it, order a drink from the cart.

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Gay republicans

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What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the mountains? A: Bear food.

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why was the boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face

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How do you get a one armed man out of a tree? you throw a fridge at him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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