A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Did you hear about the guys who wanted to go to Hawaii??? They didn't go!

thumb_up thumb_down -41

yo momma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

roses are red violets are violet hey look up there! Its a suicide pilot!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Moderately entertaining story, friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come out with your hands up.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? Broken.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

if life gives you lemons, throw them at pedestrians

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats 2+2? 4

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why doesn't Squidward wear pants? Because he's a pervert

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you get really high at home? You climb a ladder

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What does Adolf Hitler hate more than Jews? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Grandma got ran over by a reindeer. She died

thumb_up thumb_down -5

As Vanilla Ice once said, "If there's a problem ill resolve it."

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How many Mexicans can you fit into a car? The bathroom is on the left, mam.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's your favorite Sylvia Plath quote? "Turn on the oven."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

knock knock Labrinth come in

thumb_up thumb_down +20

69

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mom is SO ugly, I entered her in an ugly contest, and she came in fourth place!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a blonde with great maths skills? A smart person with blonde hair.

thumb_up thumb_down

Doris was putting up Christmas lights when he noticed the bulb's suddenly came on. He was puzzled at first, as he hadn't plugged them in. He climbed down the ladder and found that it was his son, Robby who had plugged the lights in.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops