FORTY SECONDS!!!!!!

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Sticks and stones may break my bones.

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What do a bunch of dead babies look like in a blender? I don't know I was too busy masturbating.

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Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

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it depressed me to be diagnosed with depression

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I like my women the way I like my coffee: Without a penis.

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Why did the kid lose his mom? She was shot.

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A platypus walks into a bar. They are the only mammals with the ability to lay an egg.

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Why was the Asian man told to open his eyes? He was sleeping.

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what's the difference between a pogo stick and a traffic cone? well for starters, traffic a cones main function is to cordon off areas or alert drivers to certain areas of road that are not to be breached and pogo sticks are used as toys to heighten bouncing. I'll stop here but the list goes on.

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What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

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The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cancer.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

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your all shit at jokes

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AIDS.

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock! who's there? not Sarah.

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Justin Bieber

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Here come the elephants over the hill!

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Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here

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1 friend request facebook: ignore. Nuff said

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What does Harry Potter love? Magic

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC and join his chicken friends to protest.

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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