Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Your under arrest for drug trafficking and possession of illegal firearms. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say...

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What do you call a black man standing on a sidewalk? Preferably race shouldn't matter in this situation, but in most social circumstances the man would be described as black to elucidate the person being depicted.

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What's the difference between a duck? Both legs are of equal length, especially the right.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your Apple? Finding an apple in your worm

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What do Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder have in common? They're both well known figures who have inspired many.

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Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

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Why did Susie fall off the swing Because she had no arms. Knock knock... Whose there... Not Susie Why did the plane crash Susie was flying it

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An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

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Why the girl fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her.

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How do you kill a blonde? You stab her many times in the ear with a fork......Then finsih her off with a spoon. No knives those hurts

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? That is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

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whats black and red all over? a chalk board

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what happened to the man who got stuck in a car after a crash? the ambulance failed to arrive and he died a slow, trajic death.

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What do you call a dozen Muslims waiting to board a train? Passengers...you racist.

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A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Hey, 2 beers please" The bartender asks why he is ordering two, as he is alone. The man replies "There is a taxi waiting for me outside."

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Man 1: HEY DUDE! Man 2: Go shoot yourself

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press Ctrl and F4 on ur key pad

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Whats The difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash And one is a watermelon

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did you hear about the argument between jamie jacob and dylan? daniel killed them all

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Call me a banana. You're a banana. No I'm not

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25

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Finding an apple in your worm !!! ... Wait, what ?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops