What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

thumb_up thumb_down -6

i have a christmas tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, that was a turkey. Oh.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between a ferrari and a sack of babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the fox jump over the pen ? it was tuesday

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

lebron

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

EVERYONE NEEDS TO UNDERSTAND!! DYSLEXICS ARE TEOPLE POO!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did spongebob say to patrick? Im ready! im ready!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian find a magical lamp with a genie inside. He offers each of them one wish. The Muslim wishes that people didn't look at his people as terrorists. The Jew wishes that the Holocaust never happened, and the Christian wishes for world peace. Actually this didn't happen, Genies don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the Jew get for Christmas? A ride to a Concentrtation Camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what's funnier than hell? heaven

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yo momma is so fat... Her body mass is above average.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

What did Harry Potters owl say to Harry Potter? delivowe for hawwy potter!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the lizard turn blue? He was low on oxygen.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happened to the man who was raking leaves? He kept his yard clean and felt great about his hard work.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did Hitler say when he was dying? He said, "I'm dying."

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A tall German man and a short Ukrainian woman walk into a pub and sit down for a drink. The German, not wanting to seem rude, asks the Ukrainian how her day has been. The Ukrainian smiles confusedly as she doesn't understand German.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why do some people of all races enjoy American foods? Because they can be extreamly delishus and satisfying to eat. Why dont some people of all races enjoy American foods? Because then we would all be too big to fit on earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why was the girl screaming? She was getting raped from behind by her dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What is worse than the Holocaust? Women's sports

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whats brown and half eaten? yeah an easter egg that a parent has given to there son/daughter before dinner

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops