What follows 2 days of rain? Statistically more rain, but you'll have to check the weather report to be sure.

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How do you kill a blonde? A gun.

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Why did the woman lie down? She was dead

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So a seal walks into a club.

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What is black and white and has 4 wheels? A zebra, I lied about the wheels

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A man walked into a bar. Ow!

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What's clear, glass-like, and makes your brain feel like it's exploding just by smelling it? Crystal Meth

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four score and seven years ago. . sharks with frickn laser beams attached to their FRICKeN HEADs.

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yo mama so dumb that we sat her down to take a standardized, comprehensive IQ test measuring spatial, logical, linguistic, and memorization abilities. Her aggregate score was an 87, indicated she is roughly one standard deviation below the mean of the population, which is not low enough to qualify for government assistance under the Americans with Disabilities Act (1990) but does impede her understanding of more complex abstract concepts and things pertaining to higher culture. In spite of this, she has raised a child of average intelligence, and has retained the same job at Walgreen's for 14 years, People seem to like her because she is polite and rarely late. Your mother is an inspiration to low-IQ people living in high-IQ developed countries, demonstrating that an inability to fully understand abstracts does necessarily lead to a life of meagerness and frustration, so long as you work hard, keep your spirits high, and accept Jesus Christ as your personal lord and savior.

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What happens when you cut down a tree? It falls over.

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A man rubs a magic lamp nothing happens

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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Q: What do you call a hobo asking for change? A: Get off my driveway!

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What's long and black? A long and black object.

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Violets are Blue, Roses are Red, skip the bull$%!#, and give me head

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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What happened to the orphan who ate a sandwitch? She got hit by a whale!

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What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

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Why did the cat cross the road? To see its mom who was lying dead on the other side

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Why did the rooster cross the road? To go play with the other roosters.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens have no sense of direction, he might have thought he was in wal-mart for all I care.

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Why did the man die when he saw the light? It was a strobe light and he died from an epileptic seizure

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knock knock who's there aids

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Her lips aren't proportionally fit to her face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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