What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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Cheese stick

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What's the difference between 4 and 6? 2.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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Roses are red, That much is true, but Violet are purple, not ****ing blue

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A tractor.

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What are we ? Students ! What do we want ? Six months holiday ! When do we want it ? Twice a year !

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

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I used to not like my beard, but then it grew on me.

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what's the worst way to fall asleep? sad. it makes you lose sleep.

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Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person if the Jewish religion and a pizza is a type of food.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. What do you call a man who gets a check in the mail every month for doing nothing? A black man

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when life gives you 100 reasons to cry, you should cry. you're lucky you haven't killed yourself at this point

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Whats hairless, looks like a bel end and stinks of onions. Adey Bradley

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i like my women like i like my coffee...big boobs

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How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

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A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

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A kid with no arms or legs is stuck in the desert. Sucks to be him.

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If Chuck Norris were to be hit by a train he would die

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Religion.

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knock knock whos there? your mom really? well whats she wearing a refridgerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops