What do you say to man with no hands. How do you feel.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did Osama bin Laden say to the Navy SEALS? Nothing. There was insufficient time to hold a conversation before they shot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

you ever hear the joke about the rabbi, the pope and an elephant? No? well its a good one...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Smoke Day, Every Weed.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why didnt the boy eat his ice cream? Because he is dairy intolerant

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your mother is so stupid that she has an IQ score that is much lower than the average person.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

thumb_up thumb_down +13

justin littleton. nuff said

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Chuck norris survived rapture.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's blue and rhymes purple? Get Out

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why couldn't little Billy jump? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +176

What's worse than an ice cream cone falling over? The Holocaust. What's worse than that? Two ice cream cones falling over.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you get your girlfriend's yapping Chihuahua to be quiet? Throw it through a window.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the man who brutally raped and murdered his infant daughter say? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

in a car crash an entire family is killed from death until they all die

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Yes or No? You're wrong because it was both.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Baby you think i loved you, but you got played too

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man walks in to a bar and everyone screamed running out the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops