A man is eating a sandwich. He is promptly shot in the face.

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Q: What do a dead cat and a flower have in common. A: Nothing, just go away.

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Why did the man cry when he received his meal at McDonalds? They didn't give him a happy meal.

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Your Mother is so pretty that she does not need make-up.

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How did the magician make it look like there are 2 books on the table? By putting 2 books on the table

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

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What's round and bounces A basketball No!!!!!!! You dummy!!! Then what? Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A man walks into a bar. On the way home, he is driving, careers off the road and crashes. Lesson here. Don't walk into poles

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josh is a skinny headed keppy mong

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Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: Hahahaha! I can't read.

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Why did the black guy smell fried chicken? He had a brain tumour

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is nonsentient, generally heavier and not necessarily light-dark brown colored, whereas the black man is fully capable of thinking and usually has dark toned skin.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Weiner? A: You can never make "fetch" happen.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not intelligent enough to realize the hazardous dangers of crossing the street.

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How do you spell dog? C-A-T!

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Three men walk into a bar, one ducks and two fall down. What happened? They walked into a metal bar, like a sideways flagpole!

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what is the worst thing a priest could do to a little boy? brutally murder him

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Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

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A rabbi, a nun, a priest, a hooker, a stripper, 2 secret servicemen, a teacher, a midget, a ginger, a rodeo clown, a nascar driver, a homosexual native american, a heterosexual native american, 2 portuguese tuba players, an african american taxi driver, a blind man, his seeing eye dog, a bartender, 2 minor league baseball players, 3 lesbian mexican salsa dance instructors and a dwarf are all in a bar. They all had a good time and the teacher and one ol the portuguese tuba players ended up becoming facebook friends.

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Today I was reading anti jokes. At first I didn't get it, but then I figured it out and...ah crap, why am I writing this, it's just going to get thumbed down...

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? I don't know it really depends on the car, usually about 2 in the front, 3 in the back and... That's about it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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