What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? Nothing. He won't get them for the rest of his life.

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Q: What is a man? A: A miserable little pile of secrets.

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What did the boy do with his ice cream? He ate it.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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Farmer Ned chased his chickens before they laid their eggs, because he likes his eggs scrambled.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Q: Why do Mexicans love rice and beans? A: Because it's fairly easy to grow in places with relatively low rainful and high temperatures like that in which they live in.

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How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

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A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

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Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his coat? Where's my coat.

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A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

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What has four legs but can't walk? A tranquilized bear

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What does a female Nazi call a tampon? A twatskika.

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How did the boy fall off his bike? A fridge was thrown off him

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Reminds me of when I was a teen, I was working at an elderly home, and there was this really really old woman, and she was leaning forward towards me on her wheelchair, one of her hands accidentally near my crotch, I mean this granny was really senile and shit. Then she went all like, you really like it when I touch you there don't you? I mean it was not the best nor the fastest one, but all that excitement "OMG WHAT IF I GET CAUGHT BY A COLLEAGUE WHILE A 89 YEAR OLD WAS JACKING ME OFF!" Really made it all special folks... Especially when I got caught, it was like OMG STRESS ORGASM HOLY DONT CUM NOOOAAAARGHHHH!!!!!! WOHOOOOOO! I walked outta there like a champ, I was like 18 and my girlfriend/colleague which caught me was like, 27, and the next week she was 32, and before you know it, she was 46 on facebook... Thats like you know... Too old or something...

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Why did the first koala fall off the tree? He Died Why did the second koala fall off the tree? He was stapled the the first koala

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Eight hours? Sigh, leave it to me then! We both know you are a sweetheart behind that thick skull of yours, I mean why would you ask if it bothers me then?

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So i walk in my house after drinking that night.... my wall is green

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Who should you call when your dad overdoses on Viagra. Child Support

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my egg roll

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Why did john have to have back surgery He needed his back "screwed" up

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What's the difference between tires and a black guy? Tires don't scream once there are chains around them. ;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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