Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Because he was dead.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Hi.

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Listen pretty lady, NO WHAT WE HAVE BEEN DOING FOR LIKE SIXTEEN HOURS OR SOMETHING NON STOP STRAIGHT, IS VERBOTEN! Honestly, for me its a bit of a requirement, sure girls can go all like "But you are like friendzoned to me now", but then I... Hmm, you know, not a womanizer,my wife has the right word for it, I am a seducer.... Suddenly I do not like the sound of that, actually Its not a bit of a requirement, it is TOTALLY a requirement. Say, does it bother you when I mention my wife like at randomness?

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Why did the elephant climb the tree? Because he didn't want to tie his shoe.

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im dylan, i wank over teabaging people on cod

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What do you get when you put a black guy in a blender. Why are you still reading....

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What did chuck Norris say to the docter Nothing he never has to go to a hospital

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What do you call a woman between two houses? Her name.

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What kind of drugs should you take when you are too stressed? Fabulous secret magic drugs, makes all your problems go away... TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! Warning: When you take drugs, you are taking a very big DRUG.

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A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

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Why can't Ray Charles read? Cuz he is blind You illiterate uneducated racist bastard trying to say it was because he was black.

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Dumb

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How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

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What's the deal with airplane food? Why don't they serve it as a complimentary part of the flight anymore?

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Popsicle!

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Hello.

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Whats scary about the asian man driving a car? He was blind

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you...

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Man 1: youre going to die Man 2: why? Man 1: everyone dies

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Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it, it would break.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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If you give a homeless man a fish he eats for the night, if you teach him to fish then he probably won't be able to feed himself anyway, he is too poor to afford a pole.

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i like your face... HAHAHAHAH just kidding you make me want to projectile vomit.

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Which is the closest animals to humans? Black people (nig3gers)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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