What did the mother say when the train hit her? Bad train! We don't hit!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a music store and hears dubstep playing in the background and he says, "Ugh! I hate dubstep!" Suddenly the clerk gets extremely offended and says, "Haters gonna be gay!" The man chuckles at the clerk's remark and shakes his head. "No no no silly," He said. "Haters gonna not be deaf." He says shaking his head as he walks out. The clerk tries to elaborate on what the man meant, but he realizes he cannot hear his thoughts.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell down and bumped his head He suffered a serious concussion and was never the same again.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Wanna hear a joke? YEAH! Hold on. Okay, tell me when to let go.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man was caught cross dressing by his wife. She divorced him.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

There was a irishmen in his house. He was thirsty. so he drank some water

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What did the litlle boy get for christmas? The toy which he could only dream about. His father got cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the giant try to eat the magical rainbow? A: Because the apocalypse is predicted for the Wednesday after santa gets shot by the evil jolly ice cream man which in secret is cheating on his wife who in turn eats every human baby ever known to man. duhhhhh

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why couldn't the fan turn on? Because it was broken.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What is the difference between a mexican and a bench? One is living, one is not.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going off a cliff? A Caddy fits five.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what do you call a man with no friends? it's because of all the wear and tear that's done to the socks being thrown in her, and she desanitizes only the nun with no forebeard

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Do you want to hear a joke? Sure. Justin Bieber is straight.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Two girls are backpacking in the Sierra Nevada. They walk 8 km from their base camp at a bearing of 42 degrees. After lunch, they document the wildlife they have seen because they are tracking the populations of species native to the area. Then they continue on their hike, but this time at a bearing of 127 degrees. After 5 km, they reach their destination for the day and set up a temporary camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the little boy refuse to kiss his grandmother? He was afraid she would slip him some tongue.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Vegeta, What does the scouter say about his power level? It's Over 9000!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I may be ugly, but I'm also dumb.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a mexican running out of a bank? A man running late to pick up his kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -98

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops