What's Green and invisible? This cabbage --------------------------->>>>>

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What do you call when you see a man murder 8 black guys? The police.

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What's funny about a man walking into a bar? He was a clown.

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There was a dog walking down the street with his GF. The dog can have a GF and can talk because this is an anti joke. Then the dog broke up with his GF because he was unhappy with her scent. Dogs are weird that way. Then, sobbing, he saw something through the blur of his tears. The county fair was open! Elated, the dog ran to the fair and waited n the ticket line for a long time. He waited so long, he almost exploded. Once he got to the end, he reached in his coat pocket (yeah, the dog is wearing a coat. It's cold), and found no wallet. FUUUUUUU! By the time he got back, the fair was closed for the day. The next time he came back, he had a hard time getting through the line. When he did, he raced to the ferris wheel. Halfway up, the ferris wheel stopped. CWAP! The neckst daey, thee dwawg whent two the ferries weele and went up. Yay. At the top, he saw his house! there was a chicken crossing the road. WTF? Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Phuck yeah.

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1st guy:i like anti jokes. 2nd guy:me too, they make me laugh.

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Man hears son masturbating in room. The dad enters the room and tells him "Son if you keep jacking off you will go blind". The boy replies "Dad I"m over here".

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had to arms. Knock knock Who's there? Well clearly not Sally

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An apple up your ass, a penis in your ramen, finding out you have herpes, or many other scenarios. In short, there are many things worse than finding a worm in your apple.

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What did george washington say before he and his troops crossed the delaware river? We are going to cross the delaware river. R...

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Why was the man crying? He has aids.

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Do you want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

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Why did the boy fail his test? He didn't study.

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Doctor, my husband tells me he doesn't like my figure .... That's irrelevant now, you've contracted a rare blood disease and will be dead within a month.

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I like my women like I like my coffee, without a dick

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Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

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Yo momma so stupid she threw a rock at the ground And missed.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours being in a zoo But don't worry I'll be there too Behind the bars, laughing at you

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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Your friend is so gay, he has consensual sex with other men. and enjoys it.

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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Andy Warhol said we will all be famous for fifteen minutes. My soccer coach molested me and the trial was televised, they obscured my face and voice because I was twelve at the time.

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OMG this actually works! 1. Hold your breath for 5 minutes 2. Die

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What was wrong with the tree? Nothing

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A man and a woman are happily married. The die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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