An airplane has 100 bricks on-board. If you drop one brick, how many bricks would be left? 99 -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put a giraffe inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put the giraffe inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put an elephant inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put the elephant inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- The Lion King gathered all the animals from the land to a meeting. Everyone came, except one. Who was the animal? The elephant. He's still inside the refrigerator. ------------------------------------------------------------------- You want to cross a river, but you know that there are crocodiles there. There is no bridge, vines to swing from, etc. How do you cross the river? Swim across the river. The crocodiles are at the meeting with The Lion King. ------------------------------------------------------------------- So you swimmed over the river, but how did you still die? You were hit by the brick falling from the airplane.

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What's green and blue? yellow

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A young baby died.

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when life gives you 100 reasons to cry, you should cry. you're lucky you haven't killed yourself at this point

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- Knock knock - Those knock jokes are getting old - Indeed. Scratch scratch - MY DOOR

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Two Japanese men walked out of a bar. They drowned.

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A few lice were drinking wine on a scalp. It is quite strange that a person had wine on their scalp.

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What do you call a man with no arms? Disabled... some people can be so cruel.

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Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

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What do you call a black woman getting hit in the face? Domestic Violence.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This poem is getting old, I like cookies.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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why did the boy die? because he got shot

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The term "shots fired" often reminds me of the time a couple of buddies had a drinking contest and I shoved a lit cigarette down the loser's throat

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Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house, she feels bad about herself but is too embarrassed to get a gym membership and work-out in public.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Why can't George Washington sit up straight? He's dead.

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What's better than seeing a Detroit Lions game? Not being in Detroit.

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Link ate ink to make him sink.

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Where was Suzy during the explosion? Everywhere! Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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if you want to see somthing funny, throw a small child imbertween two catholic priests!

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Q: why did the boy walk into the woods alone? A: nobody knows he hasn't come out yet

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WOMENS RIGHTS

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I think I lost my number so can I... No you can't because phone numbers can't be lost

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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