What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? Getting life imprisonment after...

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Two young men ignoring societies expectations of them and instead choosing to play the sport they enjoy the most.

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Why was the man sad? Because he found his 80 year old mother had been raped and murdered in her home...

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why did the blond walk in to a door because she was not paying attention

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whats funnier than the boy with no arms and legs getting cancer? lebron playing basketball

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What's blue and smells like red paint Blue paint.

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Why did the kid lose his nose? because his brother chopped it off with an axe.

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"This is the best of all possible anti-jokes," said Pangloss.

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What did the president say after his wife and kids left Him? Im Obama self now

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Why does Rupert The Bear wear checkered trousers? Because he's a twat.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have alzheimers, cheese on toast.

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What do you call an asian guy in a police uniform? A police officer.

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A father of four joins the military. He returns home after his service.

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A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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Hey, you wanna hear a joke? The holocaust.

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How to you confuse an Alzheimer's patient? Present her with a complicated nuclear physics problem.

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What do you say to a black man driving a car? Taxi

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

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What's the difference between a black guy and an asian. They come from different race groups.

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what do an black ,am and a bicycle have in comman there both objects

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"Where are my shoes?" asked the man. "On your feet," I replied. "You are a paraplegic and have no feeling from the waist down."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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