i just got all five seasons of big bang theory in the mail for xmas... i'm divorcing my wife.

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The Big Band Theory

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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( I PLAYED SKRILLESX's SONG ON MAX VOLUME ) My neighbours loved? this so much they invited the police round!

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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Why do blondes where pigtails? Because they look nice.

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Two friends are sitting on a couch watching TV. One friend accidently turned on a pornography channel. The other friend felt awkward and went home.

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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Whats the most fun thing you can do with hangers and a vaccum cleaner? -abort babies

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven.

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Why does Tim Teblow love men? Logan Cole told him to.

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whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

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SPAMS!!!

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You smell like shit

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What happened when the black man was pushed off the cliff? His bones shattered upon impact and he died almost instantly

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How can you kill someone who looks like a squirrel? With an bomb. That would kill most people.

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knock knock who's there your family just died your family just died who? -.-

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Barack Obama.

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Why did a Monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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What has wheels and flies? A wheel that I have altered so it can fly

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What did the suicide bomber say on new years day? Happy new year.

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I have a knock knock joke. You go first.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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