What's the difference between a dead cat and a dead woman? It is much more unlikely that you would have sex with a dead cat.

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Q: Why was the man upset? A: He was kidnapped. Two cruel men tied him to a chair in an unknown location. This man was mistaken for someone who was planning to steal a big drug shipment. They beat him unmerciful, shocked him, and hit him in the head with a hammer, and threw him out in the street, with the belief of his death occurring. A driver stopped to help the man into the nearby hospital. The man was questioned about the physical appearance and whereabouts of these criminals. He remembered nothing, and sadly, they got away with this horrible crime.

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3 blind mice walk into a bar. they have no idea of their surroundings and are quickly crushed to death.

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What did Frankenstein say to Dracula? Hey, that's a nice cape.

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How do you get black children to stop jumping on the bed? Tell them it's not allowed and that consequences will ensue if the rules are not followed.

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PIED NINNY!

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roses are head mydick is blue i live in somolia and i killed all the jews

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Yo Momma Is Soooo Fat She Is Highly Obese

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What do you call a gay dog? Steve

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7,8,9

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What's the difference between a Ginger and a Brick? A ginger is a living organism.

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Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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Q. If Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were both drowning, what kind would you make? A. PBJ

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Lucas talks to mom she says hi

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What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

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I used to love Christmas Until Santa woke me up and told me my dad didn't exist....

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A.how does a penguin change a light bulb? A.the same way all other penguins change a lightbulb

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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A girl accidentally clicks on an advertisement while on anti-jokes.com, the girl silently curses and quickly presses the back button.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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how do you get a clown off a swing? hit him with an axe

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A chinese man walks into a bar, and he see's his friends they are black, mexican, white, and paki. This is their meeting place for their group on racial equality.

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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if you have 2 apples and 3 oranges in one hand, and 4 oranges and 1 apple in the other, what do you have? very large hands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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