How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

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A: That's a catchy song! B: You know what else is catchy? A: What? :) B: Herpes. Awkward silence.

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How do you make a tissue dance? Tissues are inanimate objects, they cannot dance and thinking otherwise is foolish.

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What do you call a puppy with one eye, one ear, and one leg? An ugly mother f*cker.

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why did the goose lay an egg? because it was pregnant .

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Friends are like trampolines, I always wanted a trampoline

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What is funnier than an anti-joke? My SAT scores.

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A rooster lays an egg on the tip of a roof. Which side does it fall to? Roosters don't lay eggs

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Why was the asain studing? Because he had a 59 in math and needed a C to tay on the footbal team.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? They were my friends.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing, she had no arms. Knock Knock Who’s there? Not Sarah.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is nonsentient, generally heavier and not necessarily light-dark brown colored, whereas the black man is fully capable of thinking and usually has dark toned skin.

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have you seen Helen Keller's bird house? neither has she

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

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Why Did The Boy Fall Off The Swing? Because He Had No Arms.

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A boy and a girl are playing catch. Why did the girl drop the ball? She had no arms. So why did the boy throw her the ball if she had no arms? Cause he's a Dipshit

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What do you call a black guy doing community service? Someone who wanted to give back. Stop being racist.

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Why the girl have a crooked leg? Her grandma thought that she was a pretzel and while the girl was sleeping the grandma tried to bend the girls leg into a pretzel shape

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Why did the Jew wear a beanie while playing soccer? Because he shaved his head

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What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

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How do you make a clown shut up? Throw a axe at it!!

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What do you get when you cross a zebra and a panda? Well, pandas are almost extinct. I guess they gave up and started goin' with zebras.

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Blonde: what does IDK stand for? Brunette: it stands for I Don't Know Blonde: okay, I get it now

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Why did bob die Cause he got hit by a mailbox

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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