How do you kill a blonde? You shoot them in the head with a revolver.

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Roses are red..... violets are blue...... I have a gun get in the van

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Chuck Norris Dies.

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Q.Why did the boy fail to complete his homework? A. He was a loaf of bread

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

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what worse the 2 dead kids in a van 3 dead kids in a van

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A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

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Alex Eggbert

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why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

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Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because there is no such person as Micheal J. Fox. Michael J. Fox, on the other hand, cannot draw a perfect circle because he has Parkinson's disease.

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If I give you 5 dollars, and you give me 5 dollars, then we both still have 5 dollars, which when combined will equal 10 dollars. Meaning we could buy something that cost's 10 dollars or less. But we should probably also factor in tax, so we should only buys something that costs a little over 9 dollars.

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I met her back in the 80s when she was a man.

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How do you describe a funny man on stilts? Stand up comedy

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Your mom is so fat she's overweight

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because Bob's a fish.

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Why did the boy sharpen his pencil it was dull

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A man and his wife are sitting on the couch in their house, watching tv. The man says, "Do you smell smoke?" The woman then replies, "No." They then proceed to watch more tv.

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What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

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Religion.

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women's lacrosse.

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Yo mama is so so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

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you cant spell slaughter withought laughter

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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