how do you get a blonde out of a tree? you politely ask her, then if all else fails call the local fire department

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What happens when you go swimming in the rain? You get wet.

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What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasoreass What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalottapuss What dou you call a gay dinosaurs dog? Megasoreass Rex

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The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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A blonde and a brunette walk into a job interview. The brunette gets the job because she is more qualified and has more experience.

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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What happened to the lion which escaped from the zoo? It was successfully recaptured.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

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whats a muslims name with a bomb to his chest Whatever his name is HAHAHAHAHAH

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What are annoying? Ads.

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What was going through the minds of the Sandy Hook victims? Bullets.

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A man walks into a bar. The second man sees the first man's mistake and ducks. The third man needs to take no precautions as he is a midget and can simply walk under the bar.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A Wii.

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What is the difference between a cow and a human? A lot of things.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he fell off a cliff

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

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Why couldn't the young pirate get in to the movie? Because he wasn't old enough.

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whats 2+2? 4

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What did the boy dog say to the girl dog? Ruff

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Why couldn't Billy the bird fly? He was an ostrich, ostriches can't fly.

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What will Postman Pat be called after he retires? Pat.

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Two Jews walked into a bar. Then bought it.

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Ask me if I'm a carrot Are you a carrot? No

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A man meets the girl of his dreams. Too bad the man will die in 3 days due to terminal cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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