Why do so many black people like watermelon? The same reason so many white people, do. Have you had that stuff, it's really good!

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Why didn't my marriage work out? Because I married a tangerine.

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my girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile, thats a big word for a 3 year old

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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(you will only get this if you play minecraft) whats green and looks like a penis? a creeper!

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What's pink and smells like chicken? A pink hair band, I was lying about the chicken part.

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What did the one man say to the other man? What? I don't know , I wasn't there, that's why I'm asking.

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What's the difference between a turtle and a fish? Turtles aren't fish.

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Q: What is your favorite color? M: Blue

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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-Wanna hear a joke? -Not really -Oh

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How many people does it take to screw a light bulb? One, it's all the sex they can get.

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A Boy went up to his dad and told him he was hungry. His dad then beat him to death.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have AIDS, now so do you.

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Johnny is walking around school when he sees a kid crying. He asked the kid what he was crying about and the kid said " I was trying to talk to a girl"

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Why did Tupac Shakur get shot? He was a famous and very controversial celebrity, which naturally led to having a lot of enemies.

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Me: Knock Knock Mom: Who's there? Me: Jason Mom: Jason who Jason: HOW COULD YOU FORGET ME I CAN'T BELRIVE YOUR ALZHEIMER'S HAS GOTTEN THAT BAD! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME BWAAA! *Jason sadly died short after from a bus hitting him*

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A boy walks to the bark and on his way he sees two individuals having sex in a car. He runs home and asks hios mother what he saw. She responds vinny is an enormous dork

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how do you know if a chinese man has been in you house? your homework is done

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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Q: What do the French call a quarter pounder with cheese? A: Le Royale with cheese

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Jokes are dumb. Stories are better. Did you ever hear the story of the blind man who walked into the fish market and said, "Evenin' ladies!"?

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Why did the two blonds go to the bar together? Because they were carpooling to save money and help save the earths ozone layer that seals in all of our oxygen. They were also meeting some friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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