Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer.

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Have you heard the one about Tony Hawk's brother Mike? Neither has he, considering Tony Hawk only has a brother named Steve.

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What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

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Look at the statement immediately below. Look at the statement immediately above. Hahaha! You cannot read this text! Therefore, the following joke fails to qualify as a joke and is therefore an anti-joke by virtue of constitution: Yo mama!

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how many jews can you fit in a honda civic 1 in the driver seat, 1 in the passenger seat and 3 in the back properly fixed with safety belts.

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A midget and a jew walk into a bar. i forget the rest of the joke but your motheris a tramp.

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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A baby seal walks into a club. It was a tragedy.

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A man walks into a bar He drinks the night away with his friends *Plot Twist* It was a dream He has no friends.

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yo Dawg I heard you like dogs... So I sent yo ass to prison and got an NFL contract

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personalities So do I

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-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

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Q:What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? A: It varies. But most dental offices are open for service between 8am and 4pm

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Did you hear about the deer? He had antlers. If antlers where a kind of disease, that would be a pun.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

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Why is Joel even here? Sexperience.

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Why was the bus driver sad? The kid with the icecream had c4 strapped to his chest.

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They say once you go black, you never go black. But clearly they weren't referring to Nigel, who had an average-sized penis at best.

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A little boy running with scissors he trips and falls and dies

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It had cancer.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, the enslavement of blacks over hundreds of years.

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Why do birds fly south in winter? Because its too far to go walking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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