Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van.

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How do you make a baby stop crying? Make it smell its own diaper then, drown it in its own tears.

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Why does Michael Jackson have difficulty playing chess? Because he's dead, and if there is an afterlife, we don't actually have the ability to know that it is possible to play chess there.

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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Why did the black man commit suicide? Because he was killed by a white cop.

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What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

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How are a black man and a banana similar? They are both intelligent human beings, except for the banana.

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What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Jack and Jill went down the hill. And were lost and burnt in hell.

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Why didn't the girl get on the school bus? It was Sunday.

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All these jokes are very entertaining, but if you look closely, Lebron clearly travels. Wheres the call ref what the hell.

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Brian: farts RJ: Who farted? Brian: Idk Why? Rj: Smells like sweet ass back here

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get to the hospital before he lost to much blood from his stab wound.

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What's big? Jupiter.

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what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

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What happened to the man who ate a piece of pizza after doing a lot of sit ups, while rubbing the belly of a fat man, and feeding his baby at the same time? He Lived

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hi

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a tree? Nailing1 baby to 10 trees

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Why is Pawn Stars the best show on the History Channel? Because Pawn Stars is the only show on the History Channel.

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why does stuart own alot of hollister because he is autistic

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What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

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Why did Jimmy fall of a building without a paracute? Because he lost a bet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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