Knock Knock And then I looked through the peephole and I saw it was the handyman that was going to fix my leaky sink so I opened the door

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpion. What's worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant scorpions

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what is 2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2-2+2x0 20

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What do you call putting a vehicle on the side of the road? Parking.

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what's worse than finding mommy kissing santa clause ? slave trading

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Ring Ring Hello? Click

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what happend when the little boy went on the rollercoaster ? It crashed.

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what does chuck norris use to cut scissors? another scissor.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didnt it got eaten

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I would write a racist joke, but racism is offensive

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How many Jews can fit in a VW Beetle? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and maybe one in the trunk, but that wouldn't be very comfortable.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

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What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

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why was little tommy thirsty? because he had juvenile diobetese

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Why couldn't Peter climb the tree? Because he's a fish.

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Doctor! Doctor! Can I have a second opinion? The Doctor then sits the patient down and tells them from a different perspective that they have terminal Cancer and will be dead by the end of the year.

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What's the difference between a Satyr play and a Sedar meal? One is full of horned goat-men, the other is a feast that marks the beginning of Passover.

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Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

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How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

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A tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it... Fall on top of a woman and crush her to death

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How many fairies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

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You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

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How do you make a little girl cry? Throw a brick at her face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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