There was this fruit joke, but it had no punchline.

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there are two kinds of people in this world: those who like anit jokes and those who don't

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wanna hear a dirty joke? ...trashcan

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What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he coudn't find his tractor? A: "where's my tractor?"

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Q: yugdyijgdripgdghd A: sorry I'm retarted. I don't know wtf I'm doin

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What's green and looks like a red apple? A green apple

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You are so average that, if you entered an average contest, you'd come in middle place.

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Me: What as 9595 legs,3500 eyes and 9894 teeth? You: I dont know... Me: Me neither,but its on your leg.

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so david walks into a convenience store and wanted to buy a pack of gum. so he asks the cashier how much is the gum and the cashier said that it is 99 cents and then david said oh no! i thought it was 98 cents.

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What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

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Yo momma so fat she's obese.

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What do a duck and a tricycle have in common? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

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Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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A black man and a mexican are falling off a cliff. Who lands first? The police officer.

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Once upon a time there was a boy standing up. Then he sat down.

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A black man and a Mexican fall off a cliff, who dies first? They both die from hitting sharp rocks at the bottom crushing their skulls, so it doesn't matter its just really sad.

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What did Osama bin Laden say to Jesus? Nothing. He's in hell.

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What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

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Q: How many apples grow on a tree? A: All of them

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if your paddling a backwards canoe up a waterfall and it loses its wheel, how many pancakes does it take to fill a dog house? the answer is 17 because aliens are allgeric to cows and mustard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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