What's purple and in my hand? Nothing i was lying about the purple

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whats green and has wheels grass and i lied about the wheels

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Spread the net.

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Why did the old man have only one foot? Sadley, the other one was shot off in World War II and life hasnt been the same for him since.

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Whats the best way to get a woman to sleep with you? Rape her

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How does Stevie Wonder pick up girls? He doesnt, he has someone do it for him

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What do you call a black man with cancer? A very unfourtunate man.

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What do you call Justin Bieber's assassin? A hero doing a noble favor to the community.

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Yo mamma's so old she is dead.

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what did the man do when he went to save the other man from drowning? drowned with him...

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Why doesn't the vampire like garlic? You have to exist to like garlic.

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A Black Man walks into a bar...

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What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

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What do you call it when a dead man has his wallet stolen? Rob Zombie.

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What goes in long and hard and comes out wet and sticky? A penis after orgasmic intercourse.

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

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Whats black and has no ring? LeBron James

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ey can i pick your scabs plzz

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Why does a squirrel have the tail at the back? Because at the front it's the squirrel.

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Mr Jones, we're sending you to a mental health clinic

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What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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It's fun for you and me, that's why they call it OCD It's easy as 1..2.... Hey look a butterfly!

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What did the Hobo get for Christmas? Nothing,He celebrated Hanukkah.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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