why did the little old lady die? she was mugged then shot in the head 5 times.

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What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

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how many toyota's does it take to pee on a soccer game 900 because isis is a cat vagina

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Pikachu says "Pikachu!" Squirtle says "Squirtle!" Charmander says "Charmander!" Ash is upset because he cannot communicate with his Pokemon in their foreign tongue.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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Whats worse than a fly in your soup? The Holocaust.

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Why is it hard to fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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How many christians does it take to change a light bulb? No one knows, by the time they finish unscrewing the burned out light, a hi-jacked plane crashes into them.

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Roses are red, violets are blue i've got a gun, pointing at you

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Q. Why did the koala bear go to court? A. Because too many people were referring to it as a bear when it is infact not a bear.

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Knock Knock Who's There? A rapist

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What's dried up and smells like potatoes? Potato ships and school french fries.

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Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

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Xzibit

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A fat man buys a salad

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, There's gas in your shower, Because you're a Jew. Love, Hitler

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what does trondifly mean? trondify is not a real word.

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Stoner Student: "Imagine if El Nino and La Nina got together and started a family and had little Los Ninos." Class Nerd: "Yeah."

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Why couldn't the women cook for her family She had no arms, therefore incapable of preforming the task.

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What do you call a black man that goes to college? A student..

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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What did the pear say to the apple? Fred, you delusions are getting worse and i'm getting a divorce.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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