What's the difference between Mike Tyson and Anna Nicole Smith? Mike Tyson's not dead.

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Why was six afraid of seven? It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.

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How to do you kill a blonde? Various methods, most effective of which is firing squad

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whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing you should be worrying about the future not the past.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the rest of the kids during recess? Tiffany is a pencil.

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Did you hear the joke about the butter? No.

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A man walks into a bar . . . he is tired and thirsty after a long day at work.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Alzheimer who? Knock knock.

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You have never had sex because.... Well, look in the mirror and you'll see for yourself -Matt

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im gonna sue mcdonalds i asked for a hamburger and it was a beef burger -_-

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Q. When you drink two 5 hour energies, do you get 10 hours of energy or double the energy for 5 hours? A. You die

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Banana you glad I didn't say 'Orange?'"

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how do you confuse a blonde? shes already confused Leave.Her.Alone.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple getting blow jobed by a giant squirrel

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At his sentencing, a judge tells a convicted murderer that he will be hanged at noon on one weekday in the following week but that the execution will be a surprise to the prisoner. He will not know the day of the hanging until the executioner knocks on his cell door at noon that day. Having reflected on his sentence, the prisoner draws the conclusion that he will survive the hanging. His reasoning is in several parts. He begins by concluding that the "surprise hanging" can't be on Friday, because if he hasn't been hanged by Thursday, there is only one day left - and so it won't be a surprise if he's hanged on Friday. Since the judge's sentence stipulated that the hanging would be a surprise to him, he concludes it cannot occur on Friday. He then reasons that the surprise hanging cannot be on Thursday either, because Friday has already been eliminated and if he hasn't been hanged by Wednesday night, the hanging must occur on Thursday, making a Thursday hanging not a surprise either. By similar reasoning he concludes that the hanging can also not occur on Wednesday, Tuesday or Monday. Joyfully he goes to his cell confident that he has been spared from the hanging. The next week, the executioner knocks on the prisoner's door at noon on Wednesday and prisoner is completely surprised!

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Why was patrick sad? he was raped then murdered then super raped

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Where does a blind person drive a car? Into a tree.

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...IIITS... :) SMILEY :( AND MADDY THE HORSEHEAD SHOW ITS :) SMILEY :( AND MADDY THE HORSEHEAD SHOW! :) YAY! :(SHADDAP YUUU! Episode one... The waiting for the wait!

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Whats worse than dropping your apple? The Japanese earthquake!

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What do you find in a pile of dead babies? ************************************************ A dead baby.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it could not afford sandals.

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Why is there a corpse in this TV box? Bob was never a great skydiver.

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy lost all his hair. Turns out he had brain cancer and died at age 30.

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Why did Helen Kelley's dog run away I'd run away to if my name was. Ughgughgughgiggughfufh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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