A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

A horse walks into a bar the bartender says "Why the long face?" and the horse said "My wife died of terminal cancer"

Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

What did your mom say when Quinn Griffith Randel walked in the door? Hi.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop?

Wanna know something fishy? A fish

don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

what is not funny? This joke.

Single man, interested in women. Profession: Particle Physicist. Looking for: A strong interaction with a strange, charming woman. One who will ride both up and down the roller-coaster of a relationship, that is not fussy about being top or bottom and that is not impartial to the many flavours of life. I look forward to you spinning me around; Yours Sub-atomically, Professor Quark.

How do you get a girl with two jobs to drop on her knees? Through a penny on the knees

24

why was the black mans shirt ripped? because he escaped genocide in africa

What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

what do you call and man that has a twitch every time someone say tissue broken arm, leg, hand, collar bone and there iphone? A mentally and physically demented man that needs serious help from a psychotherapist otherwise matter would get increasingly worse

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

saftey torch you can out it on the porch. saftey torch put it in the hallway. saftey torch scare the monsters away. saftey torch that'll be 50 bucks.

My mother always said that jumping in piles of leaves was fun. That was before she was swallowed whole by a 10 foot scorpion.

I like my kids how i like my coffee I dont like coffee

What"s the biggest Jenga game? 9/11

How can you tell I'm the biggest idiot in the room? Look at me.

How many band geeks does it take to catch a football? One, especially if he/she is on the football team.

What did the african get for his birthday? an ounce of water, as water is very scares in his community and it is a great resource

How did the boy cross the road? He didn't he had polio.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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