What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, animals can't talk.

A Muslim boards a plane with his three sons. Everything goes well, because most on the plane are racially tolerant.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

Wha'ts the difference between Justin Beiber and a piece of hot muff garbage? Fart triscuits.

Jesus walks int a hotel and places a handful of nails on the counter in front of the innkeeper. He is immediately turned away as the innkeeper understandably does not accept nails as currency.

I once had a friendly cohort, whose limericks often ran short, but this one doesn't, I don't know why, Also, he often can't rhyme.

A man, trying to be polite, asks his irritating coworker, "Did you get a haircut?" His coworker responds, "No, I got them all cut!" The man groans and shakes his head.

A African americia and a Hispanic are in a car, who's driving? The police man

What did the toilet say when I pooped in it Nothing I just crapped in it

There is a man with the surname of Westmoreland. This is a terrible name.

Why cant women drive? Actually, they can

What do you find in a pile of dead babies? ************************************************ A dead baby.

Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

Why is Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven is a horrible pedophile and has deeply seeded emotional problems

Q: how many babies does it take to paint a house red? A: It Depends on how hard you throw them

What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

What's black and hangs from a tree in my yard? A tire, and it also happens to be a swing.

What rhymes with orange? Somalia.

Knock Knock. Who's there? James. Ok.

Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm horny and your bodily figure is very attractive Get naked

A blonde lady has a sore throat. Her colleague tells her that whenever she has a sore throat, she performs oral sex on her husband and swallows, and this cures the problem. The next day, the blonde comes into work. The colleague asks if she followed her advice, and the blonde says yes and it worked. The blonde also passes a message from her boyfriend thanking her colleague for the suggestion. The two sets of spouses eventually became close friends and were godparents to each others' children.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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