Your momma is soooo poor... I don't know how she is so fat

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the man sad? He was molested as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the mail man say to the resident? I have your mail. Now let's f*ck.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why was the little girl crying? because she was molested

thumb_up thumb_down +30

There once was a mountain climber. He loved to climb mountains. He had climbed all of the world's tallest peaks...except Mount Everest. So, one day he decides to climb Mount Everest. He takes weeks and weeks to prepare himself. He trains and trains three times a day till he thinks he is ready to climb Mount Everest. Climbing up it takes forever. It feels like it has been days in the dreary cold. Finally, he reaches the peak. It is a glorious occasion. On the way down, a huuuuge storm rolls in. He falls down a cliff and breaks both of his legs. The pain is unbearable. He screams and screams but no one hears him. Finally after what seems like days, a group of monks find him and carry him to their monastery. Chapter Two Once the man wakes up he thanks the monks for saving his life. They give him a room, food, and nice clothes. Every night in his room, he hears a banging behind his dresser. It is really loud and he is quite annoyed by it. The next morning he asked the head monk what the noise is. The head monk says " I cannot tell you, you aren't a monk." He hears the banging noise every night. HE asks the head monk every morning but he always says he cant tell him because he isn't a monk. So the climber decides to become a monk. After years and years of training to become a monk, he finally becomes one. Chapter Three So he says to the head monk, " I am a monk, so now can you tell me?" The head monk replies, " I can't tell you, but i can help show you. So he pushes the drawer back and reveals a little door, He gives the man a lantern and says to go through it. The man goes through the door into a little, dark tunnel, eager to finally find out what the noise was. He crawls for what seems like hours and hours and hours and days and days and days and days. He finally gets to the door where the banging noise is and opens the door. What he sees amazes him. Do you want to know what the banging noise was? I cant tel you, you aren't a monk!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family killed themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Ring. Ring. Hello? Hey, It's Sean Oh hi! How are you?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the girl stop smoking? Because her mum asked her to.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a mummy that falls into the Nile? Wet

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the lightbulb go out? It was on too long

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot. WOW your racist!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What is a laptop that sings? A: A Dell

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q. WHAT IS SPECIAL ABOUT GEORGE BUSH? A. NOTHING

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did taxi driver say to the passenger? Where to, sir?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call the branch of Science that separates the organism's race? RACISM

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q. What red and scratches glass A. a baby in an oven

thumb_up thumb_down -82

How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb none, because chickens do not have opposable thumbs,therefore prevents them from preforming such a remedial task.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the man say to the other man. Hi

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what is green and red and goes 100 miles per hour? frog in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of tequila. He later goes home drunk and beats his wife. His wife is getting a divorce.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops