What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A car that is driving recklessly and happens to have a Christmas paint scheme.

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why did the woman get electricuted? because there was an electric fence around the kitchen.

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How do u make a fat person cry......... tell em mc donnalds is closed (^_^)

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Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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A horse walks into a bar. A chicken crosses the road. Humanity is no more. Nature reclaims the Earth.

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN's ON FIRE!!!!!

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What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

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what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

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what is the worst thing a bout four black men driving a Cadillac off a cliff? they were my friends

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Why did the dog die? He was old

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which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

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What did the man say to the other man? You smell nice today.

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How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

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Q: how do you drown a blond A: put a mirror at the bottom of a pool

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What did the cannibal order at McDonalds? Big Mac, extra pickle, hold the mayo.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Who is driving? The black man.

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A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike when you eat them they die

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Q. What's better than a breadmaker? A. A sandwhich.

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why did the deer jump, because there was something in it's way

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What did the Engineer say to the English major? Hey we went to the same school and got different degrees! Cool!

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Why did the man feel so guilty after having sex...... He found out He was a tranny

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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