Roses are red Violets are blue I like your mom Give me some glue

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IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

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You know who else sucks dick? My aunt Jane. She was forced to become a prostitute after she got fired from her job.

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Pikachu walked into a bar. "GO, SQUIRTLE!" the bartender screamed. An epic Pokémon battle ensued, after they got drunk. The end. Pika pi!

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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A fish walks into a bar

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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Hey, guess what? What? Dammit!

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How do you get a Black Person out of a tree? Well, if he is stuck call 911 itmediatly!

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Q: what's do the following sports have in common?: baseball, football, tennis, golf? A: They all have balls in their sport.

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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Q. What did the blak guy say to the other black guy? A. Hey.

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A Jew walks into a Furness

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What do you do when life hands you lemons? Such a statement assumes that life is an actual person, which is impossible. Thus, you do not need to concern yourself with what you must do when life hands you lemons.

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: 7 is a registered sex offender.

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What did the Unicorn do with the Portal gun? Nothing. Neither of them are real.

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What's worse than dropping you ice-cream cone? Signing your post on Anti-joke.com

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Why dont you ever see any black mermaids? Mermaids dont exist.

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Knock Knock! The man inside chooses not to answer the door and the caller walks away.

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There was an american man on the way to work.

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whats red and can fall on you blood from a hunted duck.

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Roses are red, Grass is greener, When I think about you, I play with my weiner

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Roses are blue Colton is gay

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A black guy and a white guy walk into a bar, they were both unemployed and blowing their savings on their alcohol addictions

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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