Roses are red Violets are Blue Little Timmy died yesterday

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I have a left shoe. I have a right shoe. I have two feet

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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did you here the one about the disabled downs child dying? of course you didn't that would be a horrible joke

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69

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Why didn't the boomerang return? It hit a baby

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I helped build the town school. But when people see me, no one says "Hey, there's the guy that built the town school." I helped put out the flames, when the city was on fire. But when people see me they don't say "Hey, there's the hero that saved the city." But I have sex with one goat.... And people judge me justifiably asd having sex with goats is really disgusting and sticks in peoples minds.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Charcoal is black, So is my neighbor.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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I hate Jews The Holocaust

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Whats the greatest part of buttsex the refrigerators

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What do you get when you cross a zombie with a beer? Nothing because zombies are just another subject dealing with the occult.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage.

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A: Knock Knock (waits for an answer) oh there's no one in.

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Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

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A man walks into a bar. He suffered concussions later that night.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL

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What did the scarf say to the hat? Nothing, a scarf can't talk.

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So a Moose walks into this store, and walks up to the lady bitch, and he goes "Hey, lady bitch, where the potatoes?" So the lady bitch goes "Heheh, their in aisle 5." So the moose goes down aisle 5, and there aint no potatoes.

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Nobody cares maddie!

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He had nobody to go with :)

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Q:What do you call Black Jesus ? A:Black Jesus a.w. j.p.

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How do you drown a blonde? Tie a cinderblock to her foot and throw her in water.

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How do you call two black men on the moon? Astronauts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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