ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, WITHOUT MY HEART I CANNOT LOVE YOU

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What's black and white and red all over? A panda with red paint splattered on it

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Q.) How do you make a whore blush? A.) Tell her she has pretty eyes.

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What did the politician say to the bank robber? "Were both robbers"

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Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house, she feels bad about herself but is too embarrassed to get a gym membership and work-out in public.

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A seven foot tall kindergartener walks into a bar. He is reduced to tears after being ridiculed for his inordinate height and unappealing physical appearance. A bartender then proceeds to escort him out of the bar for being underaged. -BG_Shank_A

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Once a upon of time, there was a very big kangaroo named Jake. Well one day Jake was eating some food when suddenly a bunch of humans came and saw him. One human name Willie went over to take some pictures of the animal. The Jake ran away.

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That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

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Q:How do you fit ten babies into a bucket? A: A blender Q:How do you get them out? A: Nachos

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daughter and boyfriend havin sex baby baby baby ohhh!! mum walks in; what you doin signin to justin bieber,oh ok just make sure you dont sing to his song its crap!!!!!!!

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What did the white man say to the black man that sneezed? -Bless you.

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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What has sand and an ocean? A picture of a beach.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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The awkward moment when you have cancer.

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

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if you want to see somthing funny, throw a small child imbertween two catholic priests!

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a guy fell off a roof of a mansion he died his family cried F.Y.I i have Alzheimers toilet monster

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What's worse than Patrick in a blender. Uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, idk.

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Its behind you like if you looked behind

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? I stapled it to the first monkey!

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If an orange is orange then why isn't a banana called a yellow? Because the word 'banana' comes from the Arabic word for finger as it obviously resembles a finger. The person that named the orange was equally lazy, but just not Arabic.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Sometimes you get the shitty coconut ones.

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Man in Balcony: You're telling it wrong!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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