Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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Roses are red, Muslims are brown, When I see them swimming, I hope that they drown!

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What's worse than waking up with a clown in your bed? Waking up with a dead clown in your bed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bipolar NO I'M NOT!!

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What do you call a box with a dead Jew in? A coffin.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? This year I'm going to win the golden brief case!

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Why did ned fall out of the tree? Because he was hit by a koala.

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What did the hammer say to the screwdriver? You're a tool

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What do you get when you put Star Wars and Disney together? A Bad Sequel

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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how do you get a happy man to stop smiling? hit him in the face repeatedly untill he is dead.

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Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a blonde? A: One, if she tries to swallow it.

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What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

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How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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Why does Snoop Dogg need an umbrella? Fo' Drizzle

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what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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So. The gays. ...

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A man walks into a bar and says he has a talking dog. He is then taken to a mental hospital and diagnosed with schizophrenia.

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Q:what has two legs and bleeds A: a dog cut in half

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There was a man and a woman. In a lodge all alone ready to create a child. instead of having sex he violently punched her in the face and stabbed her in her armpits until her loud screams for help had stopped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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