What is worse-losing your phone or failing school? Apartheid

Scenario: 2 people are in a desert. There is only 1 bottle of water left to drink. Who drinks it? Neither of them, they drink the gallon bottle of gatorade instead.

Q: How did the black man get to the first branch on the tree? A: He climbed, like the average person.

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

What Happends When Sawdust Gets in your mouth You poop logs

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

Q:What's worse then Finding A Worm in Your apple? A: Realizing how empty your life is.

Prostitution is bad.......

why can't dead peaple have sex? because they're dead.

what did the single guy with no arms get for christmas? porn.

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

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knock knock? whos there? eatmop. eatmopwho? HAHAHAH EAT MY POO

I swear to drunk officer I'm not god.

Why did the little girl cry? Her mom died

How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

You are like really sincere aren't you? I really appreciate that in a friend. Thank you for being who you are Nero.

If your canoe is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon. False, snakes don't have armpits

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He had cancer.

Hey are you sleepy? Good, cause I just saw Jeff The Killer and Slenderman outside your window. Good night!

Why was the black man kicked out of the restaurant? Blatant racism was still very prevalent at that time and place.

I'll be back. Please use the door.

Why did the boy only have one arm? tigers make terrible pets

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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