What is in your backyard and is stalking you? Corn

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What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

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Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

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Why did the man get hit by a van? He was blind, and his guide dog was an idiot.

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Why can't Billy ride the bicycle? Billy's a fish.

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If 25 cows walk in to the grocery store, what do you have? A scared manager. MOO!

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A man is in the desert and he finds a lamp, he rubs the lamp and out comes a genie! The genie says "I can grant your three wishes, for releasing me from the lamp" The man says "I wish I didn't have AIDS".

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swings? She had no arms... Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs... Why didn't anyone help her up? She had no friends... Why did she die? She landed in a puddle...

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Dog is walking through a park and is almost stepped on by a horse. Dog says, "Hey, watch where you're going!" Horse says, "Well, looky here! A talking dog!"

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Why didn't suzie eat? Because she wasn't hungry

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Man 1: my wife has lovley perfume. She smells like a peppermint cream. Man 2: Yeah, I know, I spent eight hours shagging her last night.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..

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What do you get when you have 5 Russians, a few 8 year olds, and guns? A kidnapping

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What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

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Your mom is so fat she could consider going on biggest loser, where she might be able to make a lot of money.

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Why did the fisherman die on a fishing trip? He had a heart attack.

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Why didn't the baby come to daycare? Because his mother got killed by spongebob

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Why was Timmy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Go ask your mom.

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Whats brown and sticky A stick!!!!

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What do you call a black man who is poor, homeless, and HIV positive? Unlucky.

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whats worse than school...wait a minute?

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What happened to the little kid sitting next to a fat kid ? The little kid got DEVOURED

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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