Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police, mam. We need to speak to you about your son Robert. It's the police, mam. We need to speak to you about your son Robert who? Mam, he was in an accident. Could you open the door please?

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i like boobs haha ha hahaha

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Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: BABABABABA BABABA RARARA LALALA ETC YOU GOT THE DRILL Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY!Ungrateful kids. Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Sociopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.Heck if you look at episode 34 you can see a tall handsome dude choking the life of a little boy in the background, and then letting him go just before he passes out and chokes him again? FUN FOR HOURS!

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God.

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If you give a homeless man a fish he eats for the night, if you teach him to fish then he probably won't be able to feed himself anyway, he is too poor to afford a pole.

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How many British people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb, and one to hold the flashlight because the room is probably dark.

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What do you call a flying jew? Smoke.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? 2 Survived.

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roses are red vioets are blue i have chlamydia now so do you....

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

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what colour is a frog green you idiot

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What do you get if you cross a motorway with a lawnmower? Killed.

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YO MAMA'S SO , A STUPID, THAT SHE PUT 2 QUARTERS IN HER EARS AND THOUGHT THAT SHE WAS LISTENING TO FIFTY-CENT!!!

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

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Your mother is so fat.

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What did Big Dog say to Little Dog? "We are both dogs."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The Holocaust. And also cancer.

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Q: Why is the Universe so big? A: Because it is the same size as my penis.

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Why did Bob fall off a cliff? He had an epileptic episode.

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What did the boy with no eyes get for Christmas? Glasses

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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