what is the most confusing day in the ghetto fathers day

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Presents.

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shot in the face by a shotgun that shoots fireworks that explodes into chainsaw bullets.

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What do Connecticut school kids get at Christmas? Shot.

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i Have read and agreed to the terms of service

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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Two Poles are walking down the street. One says "Look out, I think that's dog shit." The other man thanks him and avoids the excrement.

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What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

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Your momma's so not fat that when a school bus rolled by here house, she just sat there and turned on oprah.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there. Not Mary!!

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Q. What's black and white and red all over? A. Certainly not a newspaper. Nobody reads those anymore.

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How many people of a certain demographic does it take to change a light bulb? x+1 (x >0), 1 person to change the lightbulb and x to behave in a manner consistent with the established stereotype of said demographic.

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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How many Muslims does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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child labor

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wanna hear a really funny joke? sure women's rights.

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In a joke book: So a man walks into a bar. Suddenlly the universe around the author crack. Unable to sustain the infinite potential of punchlines, the author tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

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How does Bob Marley like his donuts? He doesn't, he tragically died of melanoma in 1981.

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How do you feed a mockingbird? Give it some food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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