What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

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why did the bus hit the kid? he dropped his ice cream.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

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Billy: Hey hey hey!!!!! wanna hear a dirty joke? Joe: Sure Billy: A pig fell in the mud

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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what did the jewish kid get for his birthday......Striped pajamas

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am colorblind I hate my life

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I have magical powers. Try your best to not to follow these instructions: Ready? Go. You are now blinking your eyes. (strike 1) You are now breathing voluntary. (strike 2) You suddenly have an itch somewhere on your body. (strike 3) You lost. Thanks for playing my little game. Hope you enjoy thinking of a flying pink elephant with wings.

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Why did the downtown New York worker never make it home? An airplane crashed into his office.

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rent a cops

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10+10=20. 20+20=40 40-10=30 I have 2 penises.

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Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

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I like to eat.

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civil rights

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women's rights.

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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How do you kill a blond? Well there are many ways the most effiont way is to shoot them

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How do you get two whales in a car? You can't. Whales are very large creatures and cannot fit into anything that size.

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Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 is a serial killer.

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this is madness! Madness? no, nevah... THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!! NO, THIS IS PATRICK!!!

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What did the award-winning physicist say to the community college graduate? I'll have Chicken McNuggets please.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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