There was a blond girl, a redhead, and a brunette. They all walk into a hotel and are granted equally friendly desk service because hair color is not a reliable indicator of intelligence or economic status.

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what said the girl when the roof collapsed over her nothing she died

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist? He didn't believe in santa.

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Wizard: If you could get any one thing in the world, what would it be son? Son: Another father that grants more wishes.

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Whats worse than bad sex. Being nice raped in the anus by a teletubby.

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What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

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What did the woman say to her husband after he came home from a late night of drinking? Nothing, because the last time she did, she got her ass beat.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cook Pu. Ok then. Kelvin Yang.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

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What happens if a Muslim leaves their bag on a bus? They quickly return onto the bus and get it.

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who let the dogs out my mom because they're fat and need exercise

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How do you make a Bong Ki mad? Call him a Bong Ki.

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What's the best way to get gum out of your hair? Cancer

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A man walks into a bar

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What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

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A guy takes out his club and hits a baby seal with a fine for $50 for littering and threatens to smash the seal's favorite ceramic figurine with the club if he doesn't pay the fine. The man is a park ranger and takes littering very seriously.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

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Guess whats in my hand. Can you guess? A gun. Bam bam, you're dead. Haha

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What do you call something that comes out of a llama's butt? poop

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The Lord told Moses to come forth. He tripped and came fifth.

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Q:why did the man jump of the house A:he did not I threw a frige at him

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How did the black guy swim across the Atlantic? He didn't. He was prepared to, but then went on Expedia and found a ticket with Continental Airlines that was in his budget. He did not like the amount of service he recieved, and decided in the future he will save up and fly with a different company, or in fact swim across.

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Why can't Abraham Lincoln lie? Because he is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops