Why did the dude fall into a box? Because he was hit by a bus.

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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A rebellious teenage boy throws a dozen eggs on the street, now he has no eggs.

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What did the kid with turrets say? Many swear words but he can not be blamed for this because he has a disease that make him unable to control many of the things he says.

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What do you call a man who shoots someone? A very bad person.

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Don't rape me!

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How can you confuse a blonde? Give her a calculus worksheet that she hasn't learned how to do.

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A man walks into a bar and slowly draws a pistol and kills 5 people.

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why did the man leave the restaurant? because he was done with his meal

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Have you seen stevie wonders house? Nope... Neither has he

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What rhymes with float,boat,moat,coat and goat but can not be on a boat, can not float, can not be in a moat, can not be on a coat and can not ride a goat? A zoat because it's not a real word and therefore is incapable of doing any of those things.

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo Boo who? It's just a joke you don't have to cry about it

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What happened to the blonde pregnant women? She died giving birth to her blind and mentally challenged son.

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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why did the little girl get her hair cut? she has cancer.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How do you get a one armed Pollack out of a tree? Hold his family at gunpoint.

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A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

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Whats worse than 3 black people? 4 Black people

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What do you call a bus filled with White, Chinese, and Black people? Public transportation.

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Q:why did the woman make a sandwitch. A: cause she is a woman

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Son: Dad what does it mean to f***? Dad: Jimmy! don't use that kind of language.. use the word chainsaw instead. Son: Ok, well what does it mean to chainsaw? Dad: Well as you know, God created people, he started with Adam and eve and then he- Son: You keep referring to god as a he, are you suggesting that God has a penis? I guess that would explain the big bang theory... right? get it? Dad: ... Go chainsaw yourself, Jimmy.

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what do you get when you have unprotected sex with a hooker? an orgasm

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A: Knock knock B: Who’s there? A: The police B: The police who? A: Ma’am, your son is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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