Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If the blue man lives in the blue house, the red man lives in the red house and the green man lives in the green house, where does the orange man live? In the orange house.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen and warns him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and otherwise damaging consequences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

you know what rhymes with sloth. rape

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what's worse than than finding a worm up your ass? Death

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A black man is packing heat while driving his car. He is a police officer

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Someone left the gate open.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A rabbi walks into a bar mitzvah

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you get a clown off a swing? Hold his family at gun point

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I wrote a joke for 'Anti-Joke', I laughed, it was funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo mama's so fat that when she went to go get an x-ray, they had to use the one they have at the zoo.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock, Knock. Who's there? It's me, Jeremy. Oh, great to see you! Come inside. They then have a great time watching TV and eating snacks

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats worse than breaking your Xbox? Being raped by your dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you know when a guy wants to have sex with you? When he rapes you

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two cannibals are eating a clown one turns to the other and asks "does this taste funny to you?" The other cannibal says " yeah because the clown has been dead for weeks."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A black man and two Mexican men are all in the same car, who's driving? One of the Mexicans.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats the most common use of a butt plug after school? In the sport of pole vaultIng, the butt plug is the rubber end of the pole that is designed to withstand the force of being planted in a steel box.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the last thing to go through a flys head when it hits your windshield? Its ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the pimp do to his bitch? He thanked her and rewarded her for her years of dedication and preserverance

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

thumb_up thumb_down -95

Where do cows go when they're bored? Wherever they're standing. Cows cannot use toilets, regardless of their mood.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops