Roses are read violets are blue i ate a fetus now you die to

why did the fish get flushed down the drain? because it was dead

What's worse than finding a bone in your boneless chicken meal? Going home to find your entire family brutally murdered.

I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

A black man, a hispanic man, and an asian man all walk into a biker bar. The bartender asks them if they know that this is a biker bar. All three say yes and tell the bartender that they are in the same motorcycle club. The bartender serves them a beer.

Who row's? •Liam Findlay

Knock Knock! Who's there? Banana. Go away.

What is long hard and woody? A tree.

How many Jews can you fit in a car? 10. 3 in back, 2 up front and the rest in the ash tray.

A blonde and a brunette were hanging onto the edge of a cliff for dear life. The brunette somehow found the strength to climb back up. The blonde was impressed, but had muscular dystrophy so she slipped and fell to her death.

Which square is small and yellow? The small, yellow square.

qu'est ce qui est petit et poilu? un asticot poilu

Why does Chuck Norris own a can named Chuck Norris? because he is self-centered due to all the attention payed to him for virtually no reason at all.

Q: Why did the boy go to the orphanage? A: His parents were dead.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get hit by a car

what is 2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2+2-2+2x0 20

Q: what's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon A: well the first noticable difference is that the watermelon tastes better.

What did the black guy said when he ate a pie? Nothing, he learned not to speak with a full mouth.

A pony goes to the doctor saying his throat hurts, the doctor sais "oh I know, your a little hoarse". The pony replies, no I'm not ass-hole I have strep throat.

Why did the black man fall off the bicycle? He was shot at close range by one of a gang of young white males. This horrific violence was most likely fueled by racial prejudice. Our thoughts go out to the young man's family and friends.

There once was a man from Peru Who dreamed he was eating his shoe He then shortly died in his sleep due to heart failure at the age of 81.

what do you get when you combine fire and water? alcohol

What did the mexican say to the black person? Hey there! How are you today?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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