Knock knock Whoes there? ...

Why didnt the black man run the marathon? He was in jail

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? Jamal

How do you make a person cross the road? Ask them nicely.

CAN YOU FIND YOUR D I C K YET BOMBER

What did Mel Gibson say to the African-American? I'm sorry

25

Many years ago in the country of France there was this poor conductor who worked a route on a train. He traveled this route every day and every 3 years on the same day a wealthy young lady would get on and starts sit in the seat right behind him. After 3 years have passed he finally picks up the courage to talk to her and they fall in love. They don’t see each other for 3 years. When the poor conductor finally sees her again he is so intoxicated by her beauty he asks the rich lady to marry him. The rich lady said that she can't possibly marry him because he simply doesn't have enough money for her to continue to live her extravagant lifestyle. So he asks the rich lady to give him just 3 years to get enough money and she agrees. So, for 3 long years the poor conductor doesn't eat any breakfast at all. He saved all the money that he would spend on food for breakfast and when finally the 3 years was up, He asked the rich lady to marry him again. The rich lady said that he still doesn't have enough money for her to continue living her current lifestyle. So, again he begs her to just wait 3 more years and he would have enough money. For the next 3 years, the poor conductor doesn't eat breakfast or lunch. This whole time he had been saving all the money he would have spent on breakfast and lunch to try and get the rich lady to marry him. After these 3 years were over, he meets her again and asks her to marry him and again she declines because he just doesn't have enough money for her. The poor conductor, still madly in love, asks for once last chance to get the money so they could get married. At first the rich lady declines buy after his begging and pleading the rich lady agrees to meet him again in 3 years when he promised he would have enough money for her. The poor conductor desperate to gain the rich lady’s love decides to give up breakfast, lunch and dinner for the next 3 years, living off just water and bread. He is certain that after 9 years of saving money he will have enough for her when they finally meet again. After the 3 years are up the poor conductor is a broken man clinging desperately onto the dream of marrying the rich lady. When they meet he gets down on his hands and knees and asks for her hand in marriage. The rich lady declines his offer since he still was not rich enough for her. The conductor snaps and ends up mutilating her so is sent to jail. He sat his trail where he was sentenced to death by electrocution for his actions. After his trial was over and he was waiting to be electrocuted, the prison guard comes in and says that this was to be his last meal on earth and asked what he wanted. The poor conductor hadn't eaten anything but bread for 3 years so he asks for his favorite dinner, a good old American Thanksgiving meal with turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, cranberry sauce, a piece of pumpkin pie, a cup of black coffee, and a cigar; and so he ate his turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, and ate the piece of pumpkin pie, drank his cup of black coffee, and smoked the cigar. The next morning, the prison guard came to take him to be electrocuted, but when they flipped the switch nothing happened! They took the prisoner back to the cell and checked the electric chair and found nothing wrong. That day the Prison guard came back and said that this was going to be his last meal on earth and asked what he wanted. So the poor conductor thought for a while before deciding on his favorite dish for lunch: Roast beef, corn, mashed potatoes, a piece of apple pie, a cup of black coffee, and a cigar. So he ate the roast beef, the corn, and the mashed potatoes. He ate the apple pie, drank the cup of black coffee, and smoked the cigar. The following morning, the prison guard came to take him away to the electric chair. After he was put in they flipped the switch and nothing happened again. So they took him back to his cell to figure out what happened. They decided something must be wrong with the chair so they moved the prisoner to another prison over night to carry out his sentence. So the next morning the prison guard came to see what he wanted to eat for his last meal on earth, and the prisoner said that he wanted his favorite breakfast for his last meal. So he had a huge stack of pancakes with real maple syrup, eggs sunny side up with bacon and sausage, a cup of black coffee, and a cigar. And so he ate the hug stack of pancakes with real maple syrup, eggs with bacon and sausage, drank the coffee and smoked the cigar. He then walked down to electric chair and they flipped the switch and nothing happened. By this time the prison guards were totally boggled and confused. They checked the chair and it was perfectly fine. They checked the electricity and it was working in perfect order yet try as they might they couldn't kill the man. Perplexed the guard said to the prisoner “That chair contains enough electricity to kill 10 men. How have you survived the it not once, not twice but three times?” And so the guy in the chair replied. 'I tried to tell you before that I'm a poor conductor.'

What happens when a blond walks into a bar She buys a drink

What is 6 plus 9? 15.

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I was eating an orange in the park last week when I saw four men brutally murdered before my very eyes.

what did the girls scream when they were being stalked? skydragon

People tell me im insane. Its all a conspiracy.

why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding two worms in your apple. Whats worse than finding two worms in your apple, the Holocaust. Whats worse than the Holocaust, finding three worms in your apple.

Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

A Fish walks into a bar. It died of oxygen starvation.

Hitler walks up to a little girl at a concentration camp: - How old are you? - I'm turning 7 tomorrow! - Nope.

What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

old mcdonald had a farm had..... he now lives in the city

Whats the differents between a red farrari and a dead baby? I dont have a red farrari in my garage;)

richard is fag

Yo momma is so fat when she sat on the i pod she made the i pad!

whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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