When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Whats red, green, and goes 60 mph? A frog in a blender.

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What do you say to a black guy who is holding a gun to your head? Nothing. He is holding a gun to your head.

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Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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What did the prostitute say to the cop? What? I can suck your dick for free Mr. Officer

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Did you just admit being considerate? I do not care about who gets the last comment anymore, I need to tear my face away from the screen ASAP.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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What's the difference between working at Mc Donalds and working as a hooker? A hooker gets paid more.

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How did the blonde burn her ear? In a terrible accident involving molten lava.

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I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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Roses are red Violets are blue... Violets are not blue they are actually purple

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you're so stupid, you have trouble understanding what you read, like the newspaper, for example

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Why did god create anti-jokes? He didn't.

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What has tomato Sauce And came from italy? Pizza

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Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

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what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

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That is so sweet of you, for a moment I thought I had said something that might have insulted you, but then again, considering the length of the message I see why it took so long.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. Why was 7 afraid of 9? Because 9 was black.

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Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

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koala's try to hit on teddy bears...... desperate even though we know extinction's comin

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I supported my sisters decision to get an abortion. Still would have been cool to be a dad :/

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Q: What did the black man say to the other black man? A: Nothing. They didn't know each other.

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Write your own pointless joke on http://pointless-jokes.tk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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