whats 1 + 1? 2

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Take this and put it- No.

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What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

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What do you call an African baby?............................................ A Nigglet.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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A fish walks into a bar. He proceeds to talk the bartender. "Blub blub blub" The fish sitting next to him whispers to the bartender. "What is he talking about." The bartender shrugs.

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whats brown and black and sits in a tree...... a bird

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i like going to public parks and watching the kids run and yell because they dont know im using blanks

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"Ask me if I'm a lamp." "Are you a lamp?" "No."

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What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts.

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what is pink and shaped like a banana? A pink banana.

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Why did the man have square fingers? Because he has Apert Syndrome

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What's more greasy than grease? Kevin's hair

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WNBA

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Wow, so it is true, you are here the entire fucking time aren't you bitch? You and all "six billion of your followers of the dark", listen asshead, one thing is people asking ME when I FUCKING SIGN BOOKS (which does not happen all that FUCKING OFTEN!) Why I lead a fucking cult of sorts. Another one is having your goons stab me in the FUCKING EYE, and going "Oh I am like so sorry, please let me be the gayest I can be" People assaulting me because I use the "Moralman identity" IT IS MINE! My real FUCKING NAME IS NERO! I DON'T GO AROUND STEALING NOBODY`S SHIT!

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I used to get on Facebook, then someone asked me to save a child in Africa by liking a picture of Jesus or ignore it and go to hell

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What do the holocaust and new born babies have in common? Nothing. Except some babies are born in Germany.

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A muslim, a priest, and a raabi walk into a bar. All three of them agree that it hurt.

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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What did the alien discuss with the other alien? Something we discussed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

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How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

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what did Stephen Hawking say to the prositute? nothing, because he has a disability which renders him unable to speak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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