What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mom is so fat she weighs significantly higher then most females of her age and height.

thumb_up thumb_down

why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 8 9 jokes numbers dont have mouths

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? Nothing. He won't get them for the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the woman start crying? She didn't have woman's rights... That's right, get back in the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +26

two nuns were driving in Transylvania when a vampire jumps out in front of their car the first nun said "show it your cross" so the secong got out of the car and yelled Get out of the way you pric!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q: What would George Washington do if he were alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They were caucasian artists.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

I am not physically scarred, rather mentally, lets just say my childhood was a lot less than pleasant, I got no idea where you got that "Nero lost an arm" thing, I got both arms working. But I guess I often feel alone because only I can feel, see and experience the pain of the scars a terrible childhood has left me with. You are right though, it is easy to give up saying that humanity is not ready or worthy, making me feel as Dr.Doom or something alike, hidden behind some suit of armor still ashamed for things I know that I am not, but that still burn deep within my mind. PTSD buddy, it does not matter if I logically believe that I am competent or not, when my past is engraved, etched into my soul, constantly telling me I am not, so helping others is actually pretty easy, yet saving myself, I do not know how anymore, it is easy to change the minds of those that have not been broken time after time physically and mentally by those which they love the most. I will heal, your words are inspiring, thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down

I'm growing tired of all those ADD jokes. I have ADD, and I... ... what time is it?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why do they bury lawyers 10 feet deep? Because deep down they are really good people.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What do you call a blonde, a brunette, and a red head all who are 16 years old and standing in a school? A: High School Students

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Can you say the word "toy boat" 10 times fast? No

thumb_up thumb_down +8

2

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q:whats the easiest way to get crabs? A:at your local seafood market.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

why did the ginger have no friends? he was wearing skechers

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How do you get 10 babies out of a blender? Potato Chips! Stupid!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

"why did the cheese not go to church on sunday" "because it was jewish"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, animals can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Hi

thumb_up thumb_down

There was a horse in a very hot sumer day. He was in the middle of corn field It was so hot that the corns started popping out. The horse thought it was snowing and died of cold.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops