Q: What's big, brown, and smell like crap? A: Turd.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Sir, your wife has been killed. Please open the door so that we may discuss this matter. The man then opens the door and listens to the tale of how a disgruntled worker opened fire in a grocery store, killing 13 people including his wife. Unable to cope with this and the fact both his parents passed away earlier that year he later hangs himself soon after the police leave.

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Why couldn't the elephant ride the bike? Because it didn't have a thumb to ring the bell!

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Yo mamma so poor she got a job.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The interrupting doctor. The inter-- --You have cancer.

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Yo mamas so fat that when a bus hit her she said " who threw that pebble at me"

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Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

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Knock knock.Who's there?Dead Baby.

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why did the black man cross the road? to get away from the racists

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Why couldn't the boy see his sick mother? Because he was blind

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Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are having a baby. Even Stevie Wonder saw that one coming.

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Roses are red, Violets are too. You're bleeding out, I stabbed you.

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Chris: Hey, want to hear a sad joke? Joe: No, those are mean and offensive.

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Why did the kid lose his mom? She was shot.

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Why did the blonde commit suicide? Because she hated her life.

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 6 feet under the ground? Doug What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 3 feet under the ground? Douglas

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wanna here a joke? you.

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What's the difference between a volleyball and a tree? They're both volleyballs except for the tree.

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Hit me and kick me were on a log. Hit me fell off, swan to shore, and went home.

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There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

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Why did the horse stop running? His master beat him to death.

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The asian parent's look at their child and say in an angry voice. "Y U NO DOCTOR." The kid was amazed how uneducated they were in english after living in america for 10 years.

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seek beauty

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What do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's pussy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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