Roses are red violets are blue I have altimers cheese on toast Srry bout the spelling. I couldn't REMEMBER!

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock off a building

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Anne Widdecombe becomes attractive.

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What starts with 'd' and ends in 'ick'? dick -XH

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

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who let the dogs out my mom because they're fat and need exercise

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What did the wizard say to the man? Wizards aren't real. Thus not able to speak.

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy this song doesn't rhyme penis

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whats 2+2? 1

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A man is walking alone in a park and stumbles upon a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie appears out of thin air. The genie tells him he has three wishes to wish for whatever his heart desires. The man naturally wishes for Anthony Davis to shave his damn unibrow. He then throws the lamp at a little boys face and laughs uncontrollably.

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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why did the little girl eat grapes? because she felt like it.

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I have sexdaily. Sorry I mean dyslexia.

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Q:Whats 2+2? A: 4

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A man walks into a bar and says "I'd like a beer."

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yo mamas so ugly.... everyone died. the end.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's hard to tell, but i could really use a cigarette.

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What happens when a building has a 13th floor ? You realize this isn't a del building and fall down 13 flights.

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Yo momma stank so bad, she might have a serious vaginal infection. You should take her to the hospital.

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Why didn't the pharmacist set up his business in the jungle? Because setting up a pharmacy in the jungle is not a viable business option.

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What's worse than finding a worm in you apple? The holocaust.

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What have a blueberry and a raspberry got in common? They both can't ride a skateboard

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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