matt f stupid because no one likes him

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A penis walks into a bar..

thumb_up thumb_down -14

There are 3 poeple on an air plane. The pope, a boy scout, and barak obama. The plane is about to crash and there is only 2 parachutes. omba said im the president of the united states and one of the worlds smartest african americans so he jumped out. The Pope told the boy scout " i lived a long happy life you take the last parachute and jump." The boy scout replied what there are still 2 left the " worlds smartest negro jumped out with my backpack.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's red and smells like green paint? The rotting corpse of the old lady I poisoned with green paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the black man do when KFC got his order wrong? He gave his receipt to the cashier and kindly asked for the correct meal.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the 40 year old man quickly close his web page when his wife called his name? Because he had to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock knock.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you have if you have 100 rabbits in a row and 99 step back? That would be a very unlikely thing to happen, unless a mildly scary predator was released in front of them, or they weren't all stepping back at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Hey, look over there! It's ur mom!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Holocaust jokes aren't funny. Anne Frankly, they're just out of bad taste.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Do you want to hear an anti joke? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock Knock Who's There ........................ ........................................... I hate doorbell ditchers

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? dead babies dont stick to the roof of your mouth when you are eating them.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Guess What!? What?! GIGGITY GIGGITY GOOOOOOOOO!!!!! (ALL RIGHT) OH.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your mother's breath smells so bad that it just doesn't smell very good at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's Mexico's favorite sport? Cross Country

thumb_up thumb_down +9

how many dead babies can you fit into a blender? 17 how do you get them out? Tortilla chips, but you'd be arrested by that time anyway because you just murdered 17 babies

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: How do you make a baby cry? A: Throw a brick at it.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats polish and black a polish black person

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops