Q: why is halloween scary? A: because your there!!!

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both fruit. Except the elephant.

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What's worse than failing an exam? Failing two exams.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like pussy Because it feels really good when I stick my penis inside her vaginal opening

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

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A man copied someone else's joke on anti-joke, people looked at it and said "That's funny, but they copied it", then they moved on to the next one.

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What did the overweight blind kid get for Christmas? His parents died in a tragic car crash and he was left alone, fat and blind to fend for himself

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Why did a man get fired from the M&M store? He was color blind.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Hello, I am Sergent Henry Orange. I'm afraid your husband was shot down by an enemy aircraft. I'm sorry, he was a brave man.

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Q: How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Juan

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

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What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

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Why was the orphan crying? His parents were dead and his future was uncertain.

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whats chinese noodles

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Yo Mama so stupid she thought "Dunkin Doughnuts" was a basketball team.

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girls are a lot like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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what's worse than dropping half your sandwich? Getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer

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What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

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A man walks into a bard with a politician, an Asian man, and a sailor. They all get drinks and have a good time.

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

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The iPhone5. It's kinda Gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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