Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

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How do you confuse a blonde? You tell em a AntiJoke!

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a strip club. They then realised that they are religious leaders and set an example for their respective religious communities and shouldn't be in a strip club and leave.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

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Why did they bury the fireman on the east side of the green grassy hill, to the left of the old well, underneath the huge apple tree? Because he was dead.

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If you are what you eat, then imagine a prostitute.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

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What's worse than 9 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 9 trees.

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When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

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How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

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What did the black man drink on a hot summer day? Some water, it quickly replenished the liquids he was perspiring do to the temperature being sufficiently hotter than his body temperature

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how many scrubbers does it take to change a light bulb ? 2 , 1 to change it , and 1 to make it smell piss

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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What did the orange elephant with 6 legs say? Kill me.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a car? A lot.

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What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Why was the man sad after mowing is lawn? He ran over his dog.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass i was lying about the wheels.

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Why was the black man escorted out of the bar? Civil rights is still a real issue in this country and must be solved.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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