Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns. Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred sing: "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was Joseph Kony at a primary school ? It was 3 o'clock and his children had just finished a long hard day learning to read and right and it was his turn to pick them up after him and misses Kony developed a schedule one late night after the odd glass of wine or two.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS ROAD?!!! cause he was silly

thumb_up thumb_down -15

mooooh im a cow

thumb_up thumb_down +12

4 out of 5 Americans make up 80% of Americans

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what did hitler say before he turned on the gas who are you calling a dick dina

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q: Why did Rapunzel fall out of the tower? A: Because she was a dumb bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin says "oh my god were going to die!" The other says "Holy shit a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

When geese migrate, why is one side of the V longer than the other? There are more birds on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

On a tusday night, three guys walk into a bar After realising they have to work they proceed to exit

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a dragon with no wings? A komodo dragon

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a 5000 pound gorilla? Obese - gorillas should weigh around 400 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke-'er-face

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the old lady start crying? Because her daughter was raped and killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb 500 , 1 to hold the lightbulb, 499 to spin the house

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a trampoline and a cat? I take mu cleats off when I jump on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats the difference between G. Bush and a rock? Bush (bull)shits and rock doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How can you tell if a Mexican's gay? Ask politely.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What happened to your hamster? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Well... At that time everyone expected that the only people that knew hypnosis where either "born with the gift from the stars" or was some old beard man that spent "hundreds of years in the mountains".or a wizard or a shamanic priest, or well some guy in a particular stupid suit of sorts, it increased its potency simple as that, as having people stare at me and laugh because "You are not some beardy guru master" is a pretty bad start for the effective use of mass hypnosis. Mono-ideoism actually just means really concentrated focus on a single object or state of mind, the thing about the name (aside from sounding kinda mono-idiotic) is that strong focus alone does NOT lead to a state of relaxation which is one of the prime requirements to achieve a state of trance, I mean try focusing on something really hard and your body produces a huge amount of beta waves, aka stress. All of that is bullshit, but my horrible childhood did leave me with the "gift" to space out pretty quickly, so I learned it pretty fast without really knowing what it was at first.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Oh no! My life is ruined!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was attached to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops