What is worse than a worm in your apple? An apple in your worm!!!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Why are all teachers stupid? They´re not. Why would you say that?

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minorities.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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Why didn't Hitler like steak? He was a vegetarian.

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Why is yellow afraid of 7? Impossible. Colors have no sense of fear.

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A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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What shouldn't you say to a dementia patient? You already said that.

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Knock, Knock Who's there It's me open up the D#### door it's me open up the D#### door, who? just open the door this is not a fricken knock knock joke.

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Whats the best way to get to a girls heart? A knife.

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What do you call a rollercoaster without a coaster? A roller

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

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A fat man buys a salad

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "Doc my leg really hurts when I poke it like this." The doctor replies, "Yes, that is a knife."

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Why doesn't Mexico have a navy? Because cardboard doesn't float!

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What do you call a black man driving a car? A driver.

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What's worse than the titanic sinking 9-11

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Timmy. YOU DON'T KNOW ME!!!!!

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knock knock whos there? aids aids who? aids aids who? i dont go away

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and blind.

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Why did the guy run out of the whorehouse? Because when she spread her legs it looked like she was pulling apart a grilled ham and cheese sandwich.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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