A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Yes? Well that's probably why you came to this site.

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what's silver and red and keeps crashing into the walls? a baby with forks in its eyes

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Why did the shrimp refuse to share? Because he was a little shellfish.

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A father and his son get into an accident and are whisked away to the hospital. The father dies, and the son is brought into surgery. The doctor is rushed in, but looks at the boy and says "I can operate on this boy, his my son." How is this possible? The boy's father was a zombie.

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Roses are red, violetes are red, I'm colorblind

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"Docter, docter, I think I have cancer!" "I don't really care."

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what happened after 9/11?? 9/12.

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Christians pornstars.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas ? Cancer

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black people

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safety framed toilets like bbw (big black women)

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Knock knock Who's there? The interrupting doctor The interrupting doct... You have Cancer

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Making fun of Charlie Sheen is like shooting up in a barrel.

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What did the red-haired barber say to the father who abandoned him at birth? Nothing. The father sat to the side and read a magazine as the barber cut the hair of his legitimate child, failing to recognize the irony of the situation.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

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Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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What did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did the man hang himself? Because his pistol misfired.

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How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

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What is more tragic than a nice day wasted? Obesity.

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why did the man slip on the knife? he wanted to commit suicide

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Hello, this is Chuck Norris speaking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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