What do you call a submarine full of soldiers shot by a torpedo? Tragic war heros, that we will remember and honor

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What did Mr. Sandman do whrn the boy asked for one too many dreams, nothing because Mr. Sandman was the boys bitch.

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If you shaved Chuck Norris' beard, you'd find a chin.

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Knock knock GET OUTTA HERE! Jesus Christ dude I just came for some eggs!....

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What do you call someone in Manhattan who goes to see a Broadway show and then stops in at a local bar for a few drinks? A taxi, if they request you do so.

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what did the drunk man say to the bar tender? Hello good sir. Fine day today isn't it.

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If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

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Did you hear the story about the divorcee who was concerned about ecology? Her husband had been hitting her. Good for her to get away from that kind of abuse.

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I'm funny.

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what did the crow say do the dead gazelle? - nothing the crow ate it

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Reading re-posts of classic anti jokes posted by lonely teenagers.

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Why was Jeremy slow? He wasnt fast.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am staraiL so dont touch me!!!!!

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Molest them

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Whats worse than getting shot in the foot? Watching each member of your family get shot in the foot.

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Your mother is so fat, she is dying due to obesity and it would be utterly disgusting to make fun of anyone in that situation.

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What do you call a rabbit with carrots in its ears? Anything, it can't hear you!

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was in my sandwich and i'm late for class.

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What does a car and a t-shirt have in common? Nothing.

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how many people does it take to take over the world aperently just 1 me

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

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Why did Elliot Spitzer cross the road? To go have sex with a hooker.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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