what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

How did the soccer team win? They scored the most goals.

If i was gay... I would have strong sexual feelings towards peolple of the same sex as me

Why did the woman have an abortion? Because she was raped at the age of 17.

A man on crutches walked across the road. Suddenly he fell and sprained his foot. He was pleased that he was carrying crutches.

Why did the tortoise cross the road? To get to the other side.

There were two planes to take off.. One did, the other not at all..

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

Two blonds are racing. Who wins? The first one to pass he finish line.

Dana Cohen not having herpes.

Why did Old Man Robert fall down the stairs? Someone kicked him down. And then he died.

What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a statue of Mitt Romney? The statue doesn't change its position.

Two whales are in a bar. One says, "whoaohaoahwoahwahoh" The other says, "Go home, Frank. You're drunk."

Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck a poetry now show me your tits!!!

I farted and it smells like rotten ham with melted cottage cheese now dislike this please.

jibby jobby

only in america: does pizza arrive at your house faster than an ambulence do banks leave their doors open and chain their pens to the desks people put their usless junk in the garage and thier expensive cars in the driveway

what did the boy with no arms, no legs, and cancer get for easter AIDS

What did the Christian say to the Muslim. Nothing. He understood his right to have a opinion even if his religion is against it.

What do you call a 46 year old man with one eye 4'5 and has one arm coming out of his chest Steve

'Knock' 'Knock' Who's there? Open the door and you will find out douche.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

Two corpses weigh in the wind. One is called Jones.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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