Why did the chicken cross the road? He saw a bottle of Faygo on the other side.

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Why is that chicken crossing the ro-..... oh, woops, he got run over by that truck...

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Bible Games aka Bible Buffet: SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Sometime after the death and return of Superma... Jesus. God: RAISE FROM YOUR GRAVE! Jesus slays holy white beasts: POWER UP! POWER UP! HOMO UP! Uh did he say homo u... ARGH! CANNOT CONTAIN LEVEL OF HOMO! TURNING FURFAG/ALTERED BEAST. A wild Saten appears!: WELCOME TO YOUR DOOM! Jesus used gay wolf punch, it was not very effective... wild Saten uses OMFG HE TEARS OFF HIS OWN HEAD AND THROWS IT AT JESUS! Its super effective! Jesus Dies. Moral: Second coming? He came back to meet his disciples and crap AFTER quoting "ill be back", did he promise some third coming? Is that why people have been waiting for over 2000 years? :P

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves the bar slightly intoxicated.

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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What do you call a black kid with dead parents? Depressed

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89 bottles of beer on the wall, 89 bottles of beer, if one alcoholic passes the wall, 0 bottles of beer on the wall!

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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So, a Hispanic, Jewish, Asian man are on a plane. The pilot turns to them and says "Aren't you tired of this?"

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How many dead babies can fit in a bathtub. Twelve. A previous joke said seventeen, that person had their facts wrong. I know from experience

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Knock Knock Whos there? smell map smell map who?...really? I was in the middle of a phone call with my paraplegic wife's doctor, who was telling me that her condition has gotten worse and doesn't think she'll make it to the end of the month. You interrupted that in order to get me to say something that sounded like "smell my poo". Forget being allowed into my house, you should be worried about being allowed into heaven. Hopefully as you walk home today, someone will murder you.

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if youre reading this its probably because youre on anti-joke.com

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knock knock who's there Alec Baldwin I just raped your children ..........

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yo mama is so fat that when she stepped on the scale she exclaimed "wow, i'm overweight" she then proceeded to eat a cupcake to mask her pain.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

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how do you kill a bird? tie it to a tree throw a wasp nest at it and run the tree over with a semi filled with manure

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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What do you get when you cross a sheep with a lion? A dead sheep.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a murderer.

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What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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