What is black, white and red all over? A black, white and red pen.

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you lose.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What do you call a magic owl? HOO-DINI!

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A man walks into a bar, looks around, and reveals an AK-47 assault rifle he had been concealing beneath his trenchcoat. He then turns to his left and fires repeated shots around the bar, to the surprise and fear of many. Then he shoots himself. The death total is estimated at 9, including the shooter, while the total injured is around 22.

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Q: When you have alot of hair, what are you? A: Obease

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Why did Sandy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sandy.

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When Life gives you lemons... Squeeze the juice right back into Life's eyes!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six had severe paranoia.

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What's three times More dangerous than a war? Three wars

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How can you tell Santa is racist? He doesn't give Africans presents.

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whats funnier than a joke? A: a funnier joke

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What did the hat say to the other hat? Nothing, because hats don't talk, stupid.

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How do you confuse a black man? Call him from a blocked number and I say "I love you"

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Can I have... ...a beer." The bartender asks, "What's with the large pause?" To which the bear replies, "I have... ...a speech impediment."

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Justin Bieber

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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Why are you so gay? Because I am a homosexual.

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whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

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What is the difference between a monkey and a pig? A monkey doesn't snort drugs.

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what happened to the christian when he died? nothing because god isnt real.

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Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

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A man ordered tomato and basil, but received tomato with a man. the man's name is Basil!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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