Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the kid eat his homework because the teacher said it was a piece of cake

thumb_up thumb_down -21

*Wear a Mario costume* What happened to Luigi? I ate him.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

read this sentence again.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Yo momma's so fat she is now a sponsor for Jenny Craig after joining the program and loosing almost a 100 pounds. So I suppose she isn't too fat anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

An Asian walks into a bar, but the bartender asks him to leave the bartender replies "we're closing soon" but he secretly harbored racist views that he had not yet come to terms with and was deeply ashamed of.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

a pope and a catholic priest walk into a bar... the priest orders... then the pope says to the bartender "I'll have what hes having." so the bartender takes out a small child and says ...."are you sure?"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You having friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you make a man sit down? Hold him at gunpoint.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Sorry, I need to take care of business up here, it is for the best that we do not communicate for a while, suspicions are going to be flaring up all over the place You better keep your head low, the place with the code-name "The Kings Throne" was under attack, but as you might know, its not what it used to be, you should all leave Point Zero in 3-4 hours when the dust has settled. Personally I suspect it is someone from the past, yes rivals, but according to the information nobody that knows who "The Nero" is, so as you can already tell, you and I are in equal danger until this is resolved. I promise to call you someday

thumb_up thumb_down -7

learn the ropes?

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Mugger: Give me all your money. Victim: No. Mugger: Okay. (Moves on to find his next victim)

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dogs do not have aposable thumbs therefore they cannot screw in light bulbs

thumb_up thumb_down +34

When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a dead man walking? Someone on death row.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Why are people attacking the Jews we gave you so much things like: Television (Thomas Edison) Electricity (Thomas Edison) Weapons (Arvin Humbergs) Wifi (Edcolsin Vinstein) Be gr8 ful without us your nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the 1,000 pound woman start crying? Because her son got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

What do an elephant and grapes have in common? They both have a trunk...except for the grapes

thumb_up thumb_down +23

hey i just F****d u and this is crazy so delete the number and keep the baby

thumb_up thumb_down +110

You are so down to earth, and never confuse that with "simple minded".

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is 1+4x : No i will not take my pants off!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops