Q. you know who is so sad A. you for looking up a site for jokes that aren't even good

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A jew goes to a bar,then wakes up with presents under his candels.

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What do you call a Muslim driving a plane? You don't drive a plane.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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roses are red hula is hula when i walk in cass i see a big tula

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you mother is so stupid that it takes her quite a while to understand jokes

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Elephant. Elephant who? Seatbelt.

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3 guys get stuck in a island and find indians and the indians say the three guys have to stick 10 of the same fruits up there or they die. The first guy came back with oranges but stops at 3 then gets killed. the second had grapes and stop at 2 and gets killed. But in heaven the first guy ask why did you stop at 2 there grapes. the second guy said he saw the third with a pineapple.

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9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the frog fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the monkey,

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Why did the woman scream when she saw her brother? Because he had just come back from fighting in the Iraq war and she was extremely happy to see that he's alright

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A man died. What was his name? Phil. His name was Phil.

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yo mama is so old i told her to act her own age and she told me to shut up and get out of her house.

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What do you say to a man who just gave you a million dollars. thank you

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Want to hear a tough toung twister? spoons

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Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and the Devil all walk into a bar. Biden and Obama order a couple of beers and begin quietly conversing, while their security detail stands next to them. "The Devil" is actually a heavily tattooed performance artist, who in 1999 legally changed his name from Jim Larson. He has just gotten off work at his day job (a paralegal at a medium-sized firm), and is relaxing with a Johnnie Walker at the bar. Although he notices the president and vice president nearby, he has seen many politicians during his time working in DC, and so hardly pays attention.

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Immediately following his inauguration, Bush called Obama into the oval office for a private meeting and some words of advice. Bush and Obama shook hands as gentlemen do and then Bush asked if Obama wanted to hear a joke. Obama eagerly said yes, "Good..." Bush said, handing Obama a battered copy of the United States Constitution, "...the joke is in your hands", and with that Bush turned and left.

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What did Goldilocks say to the three bears? She asked them how bears make porridge without opposable thumbs.

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what did the Mexican fire fighter name his two kids? Jose and Josbe

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knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

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How do you get a bear out of tree? You shoot it

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what does a baby sound like in a microwave. i don't know i was masturbating

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What do you call a man who has committed more than 10 crimes? Whatever his name happens to be.

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What's brown and sticky? A Stick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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