What's the only think duct tape can't fix? Your parents divorce.

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What did the man say to the cat? Nothing it had his tongue

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Roses are red Violets are blue I shit my pants do you want my poo.

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mom's a whore.

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How do I get to Carnegie Hall? The address is 881 Seventh Avenue at 57th street in New York. it's beside the Russian Tea Room and almost directly across from the IESE school of business. The Russian Tea Room has a large bright red awning out front and a large carving of three dancing bears on the face of the building, the bears are covered in gold leaf. You can't miss it.

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What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench Men enjoying a day in the park

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To kill a hooker and get his money back.

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Whats worse than getting stabbed in nuts? A retarded baby that survived the abortion

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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Listen pretty lady, NO WHAT WE HAVE BEEN DOING FOR LIKE SIXTEEN HOURS OR SOMETHING NON STOP STRAIGHT, IS VERBOTEN! Honestly, for me its a bit of a requirement, sure girls can go all like "But you are like friendzoned to me now", but then I... Hmm, you know, not a womanizer,my wife has the right word for it, I am a seducer.... Suddenly I do not like the sound of that, actually Its not a bit of a requirement, it is TOTALLY a requirement. Say, does it bother you when I mention my wife like at randomness?

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Someone made a Titanic joke to me today, It was just plane wrong.

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A blonde walks into a bar. Shes now in a coma.

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A priest, a Rabi, and a Monk walk out of the bar and go home.

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What the difference between a rabbit an a eagle? They both fly except for the rabbit

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was late for its laser bypass surgery.

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What does shit and fire have in common? Hitler gave both to jews.

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69 :)

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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Lunch.

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Why are rich guys gay? Because they hang around other rich guys

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Cry me a river. then try and build a bridge, fail, and walk away frustrated

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Lots of things. Life isn't all about you, you know.

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Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

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what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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