Why did the thief steal the kitchen sink? Everything else was stolen by another thief earlier in the day.

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber's talent.

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An Asian walks into a Chinese restaurant. Then he decides that he would prefer Mexican instead, and drives to a Taco Bell.

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Knock knock Who's there? Oh. I was just making sound effects.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Refrigerator

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Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

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what do you call 3 black men in a line up? their names

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Why can't you fly? Because Chuck Norris said so.

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A cat jumped into a swimming pool It drowned and was cremated.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What did the teacher say to the student? Get in the closet

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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killing a baby and putting it in one bucket is one thing... but killing a baby and putting it in ten buckets is just insensitive

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What's worse than being hit with a falling brick? Being hit with many falling bricks. -ilikecrepes97

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Wife: My husband is dead! Son: Sounds like a personal problem.

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Why did the Catholic Priest get arrested? Tax-evasion.

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Why did the man destroy his piano? He may have been frustrated with himself for making mistakes during practice.

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Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

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"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

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Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

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Three children had stumbled into an old cottage where they were met by a wizard. The wizard pointed out a slide in the corner of his cottage. He told the children that they could each go down the slide and that they could shout out a word while sliding. He told them that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "GOLD" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of solid gold. Due to its extreme hardness the child was killed immediately on impact.

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What was unprecedented about Roosevelt running for president in 1940? He had polio, he couldn't run!

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how do you get a happy man to stop smiling? hit him in the face repeatedly untill he is dead.

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A sprayed behind is a clean BEHIND!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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