Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Hitler.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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WHYS S AFRAID OF B CAUSE OF SBB

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What's big and long? My dick.

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Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

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Whats worse then the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple

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what do you call a black man on the moon? Kid Cudi

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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A morbidly overweight baby eats horse poop and dies a slow horrible death

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens have no sense of direction, he might have thought he was in wal-mart for all I care.

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why did the indian kill the buffalo? he was suffering from a psychological disorder and took to killing innocent animals in order to relieve the pent up rage caused by repressed memories of childhood abuse.

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Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

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What do you call two mexicans playing basketball? A good example of friendly competition.

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Have you ever had sex with a woman (or several at once) and suddenly thought somethi... Moral: Nevermind, like you ever had sex! LOL!

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Why did the cat eat his food? Because he was hungry.

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Q-how many dead babies does it take to paint your geradge door? A-one if you throw it hard enough

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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Why does my friend pick up garbage? Because he is a garbageman.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? Probably 5

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What do you call a skeleton in a closet? The hide-and-seek champion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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