Why did your mum have sex with my mum? Because they're lesbian.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you kill a blonde? By inactivating major functions in the body, for example cutting off the blood supply to the brain.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why wasn't the rabbit elgible to vote? Because rabbits aren't human beings, and only humans are allowed to vote.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his soon to be butchered family.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

thumb_up thumb_down +7

yo mama is so fat that they call her fat mama

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Your Mom

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What do you call a penguin that hangs around in playgrounds? A paedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what does trondifly mean? trondify is not a real word.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are grey, Violets are black, I have Alzheimer's, Barthtub.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did hitler commit suicide He looked at his gas bill

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's the opposite of fly? To not fly

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Sonny Bono walked into a bar. No, wait, he crashed into a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A caar pllus itno a graege. You are probably dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

thumb_up thumb_down +48

It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the Mexican cross the road? The light was green.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a large pizza and a Mexican? A large pizza can feed a family.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do Molly and Sharon have in common? They both annoy me.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the best part about the school burning down? All the children trapped inside never had to grow up

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops