Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

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A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

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What killed Hitler? His gas bill.

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Why did the blind man get hit by a bus? Because his seeing-eye dog was distracted by a squirrel and ran off, leaving the man in the middle of the cross-walk in heavy traffic.

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why did the skeleton cross the road ? because it wanted too. lolz

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I'm trying to see from Adam Fantuzzi's point of view but i cant stick my head that far up my arse Daniel

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What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

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Why did the meme cross the road? MEME XD

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Did you know him? Why the anonymous tip?

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What kind of martial arts does the Jewish man practice? Kung-Fu

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What did Osama bin Laden say to Jesus? Nothing. He's in hell.

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What did the lady find out when she went to the doctor. She had breast cancer.

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How do you eat a sandwich With yo mouth bi tch

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What did the man do when he went to the toilet went toilet

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, Knock. Who's there? ........Chicken...?

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what's the difference between a black man and a tricycle well the black man's a human

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Why did the black man get some Kool-Aid? Because he was thirsty, and thought Kool-Aid would be able to quench his thirst.

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why did the clown cross the road? to kill everyone in the dark knight midnight premiere

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Fred: Hey man where were you last night. Steve: Why don't yo ask yo mama.

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A man is mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he reaches down to see if something's stuck in the blades. What does he pull out? His finger.

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What is worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? One baby stapled to 50 trees. What is worse than one baby stapled to 50 trees? One tree stapled to 50 babies.

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Peter charas threw a masterball at a level 20 Zubat!!!!!

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How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

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What's worse than dying? Dying twice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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