- Anti Joke

So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

Many years ago in the country of France there was this poor conductor who worked a route on a train. He traveled this route every day and every 3 years on the same day a wealthy young lady would get on and starts sit in the seat right behind him. After 3 years have passed he finally picks up the courage to talk to her and they fall in love. They don’t see each other for 3 years. When the poor conductor finally sees her again he is so intoxicated by her beauty he asks the rich lady to marry him. The rich lady said that she can't possibly marry him because he simply doesn't have enough money for her to continue to live her extravagant lifestyle. So he asks the rich lady to give him just 3 years to get enough money and she agrees. So, for 3 long years the poor conductor doesn't eat any breakfast at all. He saved all the money that he would spend on food for breakfast and when finally the 3 years was up, He asked the rich lady to marry him again. The rich lady said that he still doesn't have enough money for her to continue living her current lifestyle. So, again he begs her to just wait 3 more years and he would have enough money. For the next 3 years, the poor conductor doesn't eat breakfast or lunch. This whole time he had been saving all the money he would have spent on breakfast and lunch to try and get the rich lady to marry him. After these 3 years were over, he meets her again and asks her to marry him and again she declines because he just doesn't have enough money for her. The poor conductor, still madly in love, asks for once last chance to get the money so they could get married. At first the rich lady declines buy after his begging and pleading the rich lady agrees to meet him again in 3 years when he promised he would have enough money for her. The poor conductor desperate to gain the rich lady’s love decides to give up breakfast, lunch and dinner for the next 3 years, living off just water and bread. He is certain that after 9 years of saving money he will have enough for her when they finally meet again. After the 3 years are up the poor conductor is a broken man clinging desperately onto the dream of marrying the rich lady. When they meet he gets down on his hands and knees and asks for her hand in marriage. The rich lady declines his offer since he still was not rich enough for her. The conductor snaps and ends up mutilating her so is sent to jail. He sat his trail where he was sentenced to death by electrocution for his actions. After his trial was over and he was waiting to be electrocuted, the prison guard comes in and says that this was to be his last meal on earth and asked what he wanted. The poor conductor hadn't eaten anything but bread for 3 years so he asks for his favorite dinner, a good old American Thanksgiving meal with turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, cranberry sauce, a piece of pumpkin pie, a cup of black coffee, and a cigar; and so he ate his turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, and ate the piece of pumpkin pie, drank his cup of black coffee, and smoked the cigar. The next morning, the prison guard came to take him to be electrocuted, but when they flipped the switch nothing happened! They took the prisoner back to the cell and checked the electric chair and found nothing wrong. That day the Prison guard came back and said that this was going to be his last meal on earth and asked what he wanted. So the poor conductor thought for a while before deciding on his favorite dish for lunch: Roast beef, corn, mashed potatoes, a piece of apple pie, a cup of black coffee, and a cigar. So he ate the roast beef, the corn, and the mashed potatoes. He ate the apple pie, drank the cup of black coffee, and smoked the cigar. The following morning, the prison guard came to take him away to the electric chair. After he was put in they flipped the switch and nothing happened again. So they took him back to his cell to figure out what happened. They decided something must be wrong with the chair so they moved the prisoner to another prison over night to carry out his sentence. So the next morning the prison guard came to see what he wanted to eat for his last meal on earth, and the prisoner said that he wanted his favorite breakfast for his last meal. So he had a huge stack of pancakes with real maple syrup, eggs sunny side up with bacon and sausage, a cup of black coffee, and a cigar. And so he ate the hug stack of pancakes with real maple syrup, eggs with bacon and sausage, drank the coffee and smoked the cigar. He then walked down to electric chair and they flipped the switch and nothing happened. By this time the prison guards were totally boggled and confused. They checked the chair and it was perfectly fine. They checked the electricity and it was working in perfect order yet try as they might they couldn't kill the man. Perplexed the guard said to the prisoner “That chair contains enough electricity to kill 10 men. How have you survived the it not once, not twice but three times?” And so the guy in the chair replied. 'I tried to tell you before that I'm a poor conductor.'

What happened to the power lifter that tried to deadlift 920 lbs while wearing nothing but his briefs? he succeeded because he is trained power lifter.

y did simran cros rode? 2 get 2 uder side ofcurse. stopid nobs

A boy walks up to a girl he finds attractive and says "You're body's kick'in! ... i mean...hey, do you know karate?"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Thats where the slaughterhouse is.

whats difference between a bench and a mexican? a mexican isnt a bench

if a bra is called a over the shoulder boulder holder what is male underware called sincerly, under the butt nut hut

What is furry, red, and flat? Road kill.

One day a cheerio is walking down the street. Nothing special, just a regular cheerio. Suddenly, he sees a honey-coated cheerio. Now, honey-coated cheerios have a much higher social status than regular cheerios. So he decides that he wants to become a honey- coated cheerio. He works really, really hard and one day his boss promotes him to a honey-coated cheerio. So, he's really pleased about this, he can easily pay his rent, he gets a nice car, and his family is much happier. But then, as he's driving around the town, he sees a sugar-coated cheerio. Now, sugar-coated cheerios are preety much at the top of society. They're all highly regarded and respected. So he decides that he wants to become a sugar-coated cheerio. He works really, really hard for months and months, until one day his boss decides that he can become a sugar-coated cheerio. He is absolutely stoked with this. He gets a bigger house with a swimming pool and a spa, really nice clothes, and he's very well respected. One day, he's sun bathing at the beach, when off in the distance he sees an island that he had never seen before. Apparently, this is the golden cheerio island. Cheerios there fly around in jet cars and lounge around in bars. It's cheerio heaven. So he decides that if he becomes a golden cheerio, his life will be complete. He dedicates his life to working really, incredibly hard, and one day his boss says to him, "You know what, you've worked so hard that I'm promoting you to a golden cheerio." So he makes it to the cheerio island, and as he is lying down, relaxing, he suddenly becomes very thirsty. All cheerios really like milk so he goes to get some, but there's a really long line at the milk stand. So he decides to get some lemonade, but like the milk stand, there's a really long line at the lemonade stand. So he thinks, "I know what no-one will want. Punch!" So he goes to the punch stand and sure enough there's no punch line.

Doctor: You want the good news or bad news? Patient: Bad news. Doctor: You have terminal cancer. Patient: What's the good news? Doctor: You have AIDS.

NEVER

what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her...

How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

look at your sister now look at me now look at your sister now look at me you probably have now realized that you cant see me.

Women drivers...

why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Dead Babies

Knock Knock the door's open, come in

A muslim walks pass a bomb shop on his way to the international peace club.

How do you kill a blonde? Throw a fridge at her

Q. Why dont people like shane murchan ? A. Because he wears chinos .....

1912, the titanic sinks, 1913 ww1 starts, 1939, ww2 starts, 1954, the vietnam war starts, 90's, cold war. wow! the 20th century sucked.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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