What sound does a childs head make in a vice? I don't know, I was too busy wanking.

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what do you call a fish with no eyes fsh

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When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

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Why wasnt the black man entitled to a social welfare cheque? Because he made quite good money at a nearby hospital, where he worked as a doctor

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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Do you want to know a funny joke Answer- Kieran Reynolds HAHAHAHAHA This is not Daniel Lesiak

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Knock Knock Who's there? Police officer Police officer who? Police officer your whole family died in a car wreck last night.

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Your mumma is so fat she was mistaken for an opera singer in a quite awkward confrontation. she was embarrassed and walked out crying

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What's black, white and red all over and can't turn around in a corridor? A nun with a spear through her

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Why did the mean have to clean up the mass amount of dead bodies? Because he lost a game of rock-paper-scissors.

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What is more annoying then finding a worm in your apple you

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Carlton

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Man 1: is that boy high? Man 2: No. He has down syndrome

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A man shouts a women crossing the road "Oi, get your rat out love!" So she did, and it savaged his face.

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Pretty vague, if I did not know you, Id conclude you where working for some mob syndicate or something.

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What is the difference between a rabbit and a plum? A: They are both purple, except for the rabbit!

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Why was six afraid of seven? He was wanted for murder.

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The nurse at a hospital came out of the delivery room and chucked the baby down the hall to the father. The dad starts crying and the nurse starts laughing and said, "It's ok, it was already dead."

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So the priest took the 6 year old boy into the confessional...and He told him to say 3 Hail Mary's.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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Kelly Clarkson

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a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because he's a pussy.

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So I was standing in line at the grocery store and this little old lady let me cut in front of her. It was neat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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