What dod the boy with no arms get or christmas? Nothing he can't open them!

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I'm on a see food diet- it consists of fish and molluscs. sea*

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Your Mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a turtle? A bunch of nosy ass people wondering wtf you're doing.

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Why did the horse have 5 legs? She was still giving birth.

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What do you call a black guy with a job? Responsible.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock? Who's There? Not Suzy. What did Suzy want for Christmas? Parents who loved her. What did Suzy get for Christmas? Cancer.

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So it was 1945, and these two blonds walk into a bar......I forget the rest of the joke, but Japan ended up getting nuked

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a man in a black van pulls up to a kids house and offers him icecream the kid points out that since it is summer and black absorbs heat, that the icecream will have melted

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Roses are red violets are blue I have altimers cheese on toast Srry bout the spelling. I couldn't REMEMBER!

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"How come dinosaurs don't talk?" " I don't know. Why?" " Because they're dead."

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So a blonde walks into a wall...

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Say the line below all very fast to get sudden strange sensation... Magic-ish. I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... ...BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK BARK! Done? Now sit Down, have a little treat Good boy/girl! :Look well at the sun, the jagged Blackness will consume all, Your little star forever but a ever fading memory.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead why did the dog fall out of the tree? because it was attached to the monkey

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Why did the jewish plumber commit suicide? After years abuse from his alcoholic father and rich sibling, he finally snapped and killed himself on his birthday after nobody told him happy birthday.

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Kevin: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Bob: Because it's extinct? Kevin: No you idiot! The P is silent! Pterodactyl: RAARRGHH! (eats Bob)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house Knock knock Who's there? The chicken

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When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

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Me "knock knock" Tramp "who's there" Me "nobody you havent got a door"

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What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

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Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second muffin and says "OH MY GOD I CAN TALK!" the second muffin is so shaken in its beliefe system by a talking muffin that it commits suicide.

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The Game

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the gay guy's house knock knock who's there? the chicken

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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