i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

what did luke say to darth vader? Can i borrow ur car please.

Whats worse than a bunch of teen-agers throwing kitrens at my house I didn't save them because I thought they were jehovahs witness's

two men are walking and nobody falls becouse they use a power balance

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

I can't wait to eat this bagel! Yes you can. Yeah, I guess you're right.

I still remember the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said, "Hey. how far do you think I can kick this bucket."

A lot eh?

You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Perpresher

Q:how do you save a black guy from drowning A: you shoot him

What do you get when you cross a surfer and a black man? An angry surfer and an angry black man. You really should be nicer to people.

What's black and doesn't work? Half of Detroit.

Stevie Wonder valentine: Roses are black, Violets are black, everything is black, I cant see shit!

Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

How do you give an 80 year old man a heart attack? Hold a gun to his head

Why can't Hellen Kelller drive? Because she's a woman.

What is worse than something terrible happening to you? That same thing happening to me of course... Duh...

What did the white man say to the black man? Nice Pants

What's a Gingers favorite drink? Coke!

Why'd The Chicken Cross The Road? He Crossed The Road To Stand In An Icecream Line , Where A Little Boy Stood Infront Of Him, The Chicken Was Scared To Cross The Road Again To Get To The Other Side Because He Saw The Little Boy Get Hit By A Bus. So The Chicken Decided The Best Thing To Do Was To Sit Under A Tree , Where A Big White Thing Fell On Him , It Was A Fridge, Once The Fridge Hit The Ground Mexicans Ran Out And Then Explained To There Local Chickens What Crossing The Street Can Cause Them. To Be Dead. Moral: Dont Let A Chicken Cross The Road. :)

i like my women like i like my coffee without a penis

Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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