Person 1: Ask me if I'm a truck? Person 2: Are you a truck? Person 1: No.

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n i g g e r s a r e f u c k i n g c h i n k y f a g s

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What do you call two black people on one bike? Organized Crime

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If you say "Hi" to every tree you pass, is that being environmentally friendly?

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Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

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Why did the deaf man take his parrot to work? He was weird.

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Why did the blonde shoot her dog? Because it had rabies

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Did you hear about the guy who fell out of the stands at the ranger game? He died.

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Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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How do you call a white guy surrounded by 9 black guys? Steve Nash.

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I donated to Kony 2012. Litterally to Kony. I approve of his actions.

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How did the Jew his German neighbor? Every morning the Jew says hello and the German replys hello

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You know what they say about guys with really big feet? They own big shoes.

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Why do Jews hate hitler? They are jealous of him.

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Why was George Washington buried in Virginia? Because he was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmers daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soybean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture removers van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

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kids make accidents in the backseat of your car but u and your wife made an accident in the backseat and thats how you got that rottten troll that makes accidents in the car!!

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Why can't you fly? Because Chuck Norris said so.

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What did the blind orphan get for christmas? Cancer

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Why can't Abraham Lincoln tell a lie? Because he's dead.

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your momma's so fat that we are all seriously concerned for her health.

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Oh my god, I'm on fire! Help me, help me, oh God it's everywhere!

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what color is blue? green

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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