Guy at computer: My computer won't turn on. Help desk Guy: Did you try restarting. Guy at computer: No. The help desk guy hangs up and the guy at the computer proceeds to cry because he has failed.

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A White guy invites his Black friends into his house, he says "Make yourself at home." THEY DO

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Why did the Jewish population diminish in the '40s? Showers and Ovens

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What do the snake and the bird have in common? They can both fly, except for the snake...

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Why did my car stop suddenly? I had arrived at my appropriate destination.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What?

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well...here's how it went. It was a rainy Sunday evening. Seven felt like he wasn't cared for and unneeded. Two and Four tried talking to him, but that might have set him off. I just left a deli with my friend Three, and as soon as we leave, I see Seven, with a 45 to his head speeding down the alley. Causing mass commotion, he careens to the right a split second before hitting pedestrians. At the sight of that, I knew he was still in control. I call him on my smartphone and tell him to "Relax, park, and I'll meet you in a minute." I run up the side of the pickup, and lean in on the window. He pulls it down and I tell him that it isn't over, and that we DO care for him. One, Five, and Ten were run over though. Oh, and Seven ate Nine too. He was depressed when he did it.

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What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

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Your mama is so fat she has to buy plus sized clothes.

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What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

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Your mama is so black, she contributes regularly to the NAACP and the United Negro College Fund. Her donations and volunteer work help greatly.

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why was the boy sad? because his penis was stapled to a coffee table

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I peek in your window, Yes, I'm watching you

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The joke below this comment is stupid. Lets go Mets

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A black guy walks out of a house with a t.v. He proceeds to put it into a moving van and moves into his new house.

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Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

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How can you tell if a calendar is popular? From stock order lists and also from accounts records.

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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"Lack of sleep" is that like... Sleep deprivation?

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What's Rupert bear's middle name? the

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what do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating thats odd.

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Why are Asians so good at math? because of their work ethic and determination to become the best at everything.rice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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