What does Santa do on Halloween? He gives out candy to the kids who come to his door.

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

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how did the bling man cross the street? He didn't half way there he tripped and got ran over by a car.

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So a 12 year old suicide bomber walks in to a military base and kills 31 soldiers. It happened. Look it up.

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i am an idiot if you read this outloud your a dumb ass

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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What's funny about a blond, a brunette, and a red-head, drunk in a Cadillac? Everyone knows integration is a myth.

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"My CiOCK is bigger!" "No! My CiOCK is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger DiICK.

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What did the plane say to the other plane? Boy, those towers fall!

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How do you get 2000 people to go to heaven? Blow up a school.

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Q: What did the bartender say to the Arab as he was walking in? A: Nothing, the bomb had already killed them both.

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there's two nuns cycling down a cobbled street. one nun says:ooo iv'e never been this way before! the other nun says:i'm not surprised there's roadworks and a diversion!

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A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

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One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

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nock nock who's there i eat mop i eat mop ho i didn't know you eat your poo. the wedding is off and go **** yourself in a hole!!

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Why did the Sara fall off the swing, Because she had no arms. Knock, knock Who's there not sara.

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Pandas Everywhere!!!

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why did the small child drop his icecream? he was hit by a bus

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Why did Tina's parents stop calling her? Because they died

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Yo Mama is so poor, she can barely keep a steady income and cannot support her family of 10 even with support of food stamps and wel fair and will probably die soon due to diabetees because she wasted her food stamps on food that is bad for the average persons diet and due to a lack of exercise. I am worried about her she seems very depressed due to her wight and fatality outlooks and you should probably direct her to your local clinic to make sure she is OK and try to help her with her weight mangment problems. I am scarred for you and your family and I wanted to make sure you are ok and are doing well in education and are on track for a very bright future probably going to a universety which you will pay for with student loans from a bank in the local area. I am extremely worried so are you OK with all of those things I said before and if you are not I can help you get onto the right track and your mom can have a happier longeer life filled with fun happinnes wisdom life and other things like peace and forgivness for all people should get that it is part of our natural human rights and we deserve such things I speak of. Are you ok and does your life apply to thing things I have said in the past couple of motivational minuites. ''get the fu^k off porch''

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a skinny sumo wrestler

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CHEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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What do you call a black prostetut with braces. A black and decker pecker wrecker

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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