How Long is a Chinese name.

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A quadriplegic walked into a bar, and... oh, whoops, nevermind.

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What's brown, smells like shit, and are annoying as hell? Taking shits

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why did the woman walk into the kitchen? i don't know, but the better question is why she left in the first place.

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two scientists line up a frog at a line and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off one front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off the other front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off a rear leg and tell it to jump it jumps 2 feet they cut off its last leg and tell it to jump it doesn't move they tell it to jump again it doesn't move the scientists come to a conclusion: frogs with no legs...cant hear

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, He has died, And now will you,

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

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Knock knock Who's there? A ghost A ghost who?

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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What's the square root of yo mama? That which when multiplied by itself equals yo mama.

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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knock knock, who's there? you goodbye

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What did the little girls who's parents died in a car accident get for her birthday? Foster Parents

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What is worse than seeing your whole family die? Leaving your wallet on the bus.

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

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roses are red violets are blue i forgot what i was gonna say my dad is an engineer

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How do you save a black guy from drowning? You don't.

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A 55-year-old white man's car is broken, so he decides to take a bus to work that morning. His bus arrives and he gets on. Then he notices the driver's a woman. He pays for his ticket, takes a seat by the window and in about an hour he gets to his office.

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What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? We are both dinosaurs.

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A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

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"Doctor do i have aids?" asked the worried 13-year old.

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A depressed gay illegal immigrant walks into a bar and the bartender asks why he's sad. The man replies "I'm the most unwanted man in America."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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