Why did the penguin die? due to an increase in the quantity of greenhouse gases that are being released into the atmosphere, global warming is on the rise. So the penguin died because his home melted.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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What happened to the chicken that crossed the road? It got ran over by a car!

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jerry Jerry Who? Jerry Sandusky, I've come to rape your kids.

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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So a duck walks into a pharmacy and says "i need some ointment for my beak, its rather chapped." and the Pharmacist said "Sorry we don't have anything for ducks here."

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What's the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot? There's been sittings of bigfoot

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Yo mamma's so short that she is 12 inches below the average height of a woman at her age.

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Thats the magic of Moral Man, I do not make people my bitches, they curl up and do it all for me. Moral: HEEEEEY BITCHEEEEEES! WAZZAAAAP!

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Why couldn't the Asian man speak in chinese? He never learned chinese

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How do we achieve world peace? KILL EVERYBODY. Nobody can fight when they're dead.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh good I thought you wouldn't make it.

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Walnut

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who, Your Doctor, you have 5 months to live

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Dani Barton is not that! She is a great girl with a strong heart and feelings. The statement below is a joke, hence why it was published on AntiJokes. This is NOT a joke however.

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3 jews walk into a bar I lied it was a gas chamber

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what do you call a black pilot? A) a pilot

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A man walks into a bar gets hurt and falls over

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Yo mom is so stinky that when she gets in a room every one leaves the room

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What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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when you smile the whole world stops and stares for a while because you have one tooth and its half chipped.. and your a black mexican red head.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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