There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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What did Aladin say to Mulan? Nothing. Although they are both Disney characters, they never appear in the same film, and therefore never communicate.

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What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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Why did the mathematician go to jail? Because he killed his wife.

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Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a light bulb Why? Because they're so darn stupid

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hit the thumbs down button

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A man walks into a bar with a couple of chickens by his side. He sees a man sitting at the bar drinking a beer. The man who's drinking the beer offers the other man a seat, and asks him to join him in the drinking. The other man hardly refuses and takes the glass from the other man and throws it on the with all his power to the floor. The man sitting at the bar asks him why he did it. The man answers: "My chickens don't like beer"

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I'm gay. No homo.

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Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

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so a man walks into a bar...... He has a couple laughs over some drinks then went home.

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Women's rights

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How did Bella fly? Very badly.

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Yellow People !!

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knock knock who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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Yo momma so stupid she scored poorly on her SAT's in high school. She couldn't graduate college and now works a dead end job as a waitress.

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Jesus, Buddha and Mohamed walked into a bar and say: "There is as much validity in this fiction as in our collective works.

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What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven looked angry and had a gun.

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What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops