What did the sheep say when he broke a leg? Nothing, sheeps can't talk.

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Q:How many Jews can you fit in a car? A:Two in the front, two in the back, and however many will fit in the ashtray.

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A man walks into a pet store. He then says "This isn't the bar" and leaves.

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A lamp of light That shines so bright Except when it is night A glow up high You wonder why It moves across the sky. What am I? A blogger who posts jokes on AntiJoke.com.

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Whats blue and flies? A suffocating baby strapped to a fan.

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I was walking down a railway line the other day... I was fined £1000

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? Because she was a mother catering her child's sporting event.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Rocky was chasing him

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What do you call a dead black guy? A TERRIBLE CRIME

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Two blondes and a brunnett walk into a bar. Remarkably, there was nothing else notable about any of them.

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How do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? Wave to her.

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How did john walk on the sun? We don't know, he probably burned to death before getting close.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

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i need teepee for my bunghole! jlr

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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A man gets a new job working for his boss. The boss gives him more and more work and less pay. The man finely gets fed up, beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later speculated that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange.

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What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

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What happened to the Jew with a boner that ran into a wall? He broke his nose.

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Whats similar about an elephant and a plum? Theyre both gray, except for the plum

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Knock Knock Who's there

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You know what they say about men with large feet? Large shoes.

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there's a new drink out called the Bin Laden... it consists of two shots and a splash of water

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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