Whats better than winning gold at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE I LIKE TITS TITS

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A student exclaimed "This test is a piece of cake!" He ate it.

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How do you make a dentist cry? Rape him in the ass.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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what did god say when we made his first nigga oops i acidenlty burnt it

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Yo momma's so fat that she's gotta get a special door that will allow her to get through.

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How do you scare a little boy? You tell him everyone he loves was shot to death by you and then kick his guardian .

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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what do u get when you cross a kangaroo and an elephant a genetically disformed animal comes out who dies shortly after

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Roses are red violets are blue or at least that's what they tell me because I am blind

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Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

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roses are red, violets are red, a girl had her period in my garden.

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What do you call a squirrel in my yard? Dead.

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A morbidly overweight baby eats horse poop and dies a slow horrible death

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A rooster is sitting on the top of a house. It lays an egg. Which way does it roll? This can be solved by using the dimensions and angles of the roof to find the most probable direction it would roll (Incorporating in the power of gravity of course). Of course if the egg from the roosters uteris came out in an akward or unlikely way, it could roll the other way.This can be factored in very quickly because with the video evidence of the rooster having the egg you can see how it was delivered(the video is not of which way it rolls, just of the delivery).

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause? Tiger Woods is a well-known golfer and Santa Clause is a mythical man who delivers presents to young children.

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Why wouldn't someone want to work in the mining industry? Their dad died in the mines.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Knock knock? Whos there? Not Sally. What did Sally get for Christmas? Cancer.

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So i was walking down the street and this guy was really excited. I said "what is so Exciting?" He said "i just saw Justin bieber kiss a girl."

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Q: What's your favorite song? A: Not one in particular. I like all kinds of music.

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Colin is gay but toasters are not

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What does Ke$ha feel like when getting up in the morning? Shit because she has a nasty hangover.

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yes i can connor, this is brett.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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