Your Momma's so fat when the whales see her they don't say anything as they are unable to speak the human language.

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why did the Mexican take $20, because he found it on the ground

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What do you call a black guy with a white guy name? Bradley

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If John has no nose, what do John's friends call him? John

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how many Ethiopians can you fit in a bathtub? all of them.

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What did Batman tell Robin before he entered the batmobile? Robin, I had sex with your mother this last Thursday.

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Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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whats worse then biting into a worm and finding an apple??? getting raped up the butt by a giant tiger!

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Why did the disabled man fall of the swing, someone shot him.

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why does gamma not smile because he has strokes

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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A pope meets another one

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A creationist, an evolutionist, and Neanderthal Man walk into a bar. They order two beers and a glass of red wine. The bartender asks: "Will that be all?". The evolutionist says "Yes"

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What's for dinner tonight? Your mom's vagina.

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Why did the platypus have no friends? Platipi are antisocial creatures by nature.

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What do you do when life throws lemons at you? Take out your lemon shield and retreat deep into your lemon proof bunker.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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What happened to the lady living in the present, crossing a street? Let's watch her and find out.

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What was the energizer bunny arrested for? Rape.

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What do Sylvia Plath and a cake have in common? Nothing.

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Where does Osama bin Laden do his shopping? He doesn't, he's dead.

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America

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Why did the police officer shoot the man in the wheelchair? Says the police: "He was running"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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