Roses are red, violets are blue. Grass is green.

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Nero Octavios reporting, so far all of our sectors worldwide excluding Spain, Italy and Ground Zero are secure, Nero Augustus is severely wounded but will make it, and despite the our intel Necrissa Angelo is alive and well. We have one single worry though Nero7 the brunt force of the terror attack was large and powerful, yet resistance was incredibly light when we went for the counter-strike, too light, we might have to ready ourselves for some sort of reprisal here.

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what kind of dog can tiptoe

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A car that is driving recklessly and happens to have a Christmas paint scheme.

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What did the blind and deaf kid get for christmas? Cancer.

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What happened to Liam? He died because of an infected scrotum.

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what do blondes and rocks have in common? they are both material and have extension.

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Laura Pratz... not having a strong urge to tweet everything that happens in her life.

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The feds ruined the first underground, so in order for this to not happen you joined them?

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An Irish man, an English man, and a Scottish man are standing on the edge of a cliff. The English man and the Scottish man both fall of. The Irish man calls the authorities to alert them of this tragic misfortune.

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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What do you call someone who puts one number on here as a joke? Someone with no life.

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What is next?

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How did the blonde reply to the male man when he asked how she was? "I'm good."

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c it was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out if the tree? A: b/c it was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c he thought it was a game. Q: Why did the toaster fall out of the tree? A: The branch snapped. Q: Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? A: She was hit by three monkeys and a toaster :( MAB99

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Homo say what?

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Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Why did the blonde leave the lamp on while sleeping? Because it helps to see in case you need to get up in the middle of the night. YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY "BECAUSE THEY'RE A LIGHT SLEEPER!" MUAHAHAHAHAHA

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs. A pharmisict.

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Where does Osama bin Laden do his shopping? He doesn't, he's dead.

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whats pink, brown, and smells like a banana. monkey vomit?

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Two blondes are walking down the street. One breaks her left high heel and the other is called Monica.

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What shoes keep dogs quiet? Hush puppies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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