Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why cant t-rexes clap their hands? They no longer exist

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why are apples cheaper than lemons? Because you have to pay less money then lemons to buy them

thumb_up thumb_down +28

girl: why do you love me? boy: i don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a black person flying an airplane? The pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? -one is the chosen people of Isreal and one is a food that was founded in Italy

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the pedophile cross the road? To molest a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What would an ice hockey player do if the ice melted? Walk off, as the ice is only 3/4 of an inch thick.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Friend: how obsessed are you with harry potter on a scale from 1-10 Me: 9 and 3/4

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock Sorry, I'm in a full body cast and can't answer the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. <<< This is the ultimate tough anti-joke Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the armadillo fall off the cliff?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what did one soldier say to the other... dude take your finger out my a** it has been that long

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats the difference between a sack of babies and a sandwich? A Sand which floats when you put it into a large body of water.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How did bob survive the explosion? He wasn't at the explosion.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you get a single-armed monkey down from a tree? Wave.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the priest say to the rabbi ? I'm gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

You know whats worse than finding a fly in your soup? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Your Mother is so pretty that she does not need make-up.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A plane crashed. The pilot was some sort of food, like a loaf of bread or a salad. Neither of which can fly a plane or do much of anything-- like get a plane to move in the first place, let alone take off.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mama so stupid She has a 3rd grade education

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops