Why did Sally cross the street? Because someone was gonna rape her if she didn't.

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When life gives you melons. You're not dyslexic because you can probably tell the difference between a lemon and melon because they look so different.

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Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a blonde? A: One, if she tries to swallow it.

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Why was the man late for work? Because he slept in.

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Who's a tool and a NARC? Josh Brami!

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Why is amouse afraid of cheese? Because they usually die when they get it

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Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

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What do you call a man with no arms and half an eye? Larry -Jack Sparrow

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AVI IS A FAG

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It's red or yellow but most likely grey, and when its hit your eye you are dead? A train :)

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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Why did suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms... Why couldn't she get back up? -she had no friends

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What happens when you give a fat man scissors? He cuts off the foreskin of your penis.

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What happens when two jews meet in the bus ? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it's not worth telling a joke about that.

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A monk went to a bar. He soon came out because he realized he didn't have cash because he left his wallet in his other robe.

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Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

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An old man walks into a movie theater, has a stroke, and dies as his family screams for help and attempts to revive him to no avail.

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Why do black people like Basketball so much? Because it is a sport participated world wide. They just happen to like it too.

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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Do you like cats? You gotta be kitten me.

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Truth is Jordan Abu aita has a hairy @ss

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Are you from Tennessee? Cause my uncle grew up there and I was wondering if you knew him.

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Yo momma so fat her pancreas doesn't work anymore.

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Did you hear the one about the HIV positive man that got rear-ended on the highway? The motorist behind him was distracted on his cell phone, and did not hit the breaks in time to stop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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