why is six afraid of seven? because seven ate nine

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What did the homicidal maniac say to his 13th victim? Nothing, she was dead at the time.

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A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, And I'm blind.

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What did the girl with cancer get for her birthday? Hairspray.

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roses are red violets are blue im in class

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Why did the monKey fall out of the tree? He died Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first one

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Hey I Just Met You And This Is Crazy But I Am Pregnant And It's Yhur Baby ~GotDemChoozen

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why did the women give her sister a present because it was her birthday

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What did Helen Keller say to the leper? Buaaaaguuuhloo

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Indians

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verry nice how mUCH?

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Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

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A Jew walks into a bar. He immediately turns around and walks out because prices at this particular high end bar are much too high for his liking.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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why did your mom die? Cuz i killed her

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at rhyming Refrigerator.

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What did the biscuit say when he saw his friend get run over? Oh my god. Dave, are you ok? Somebody call an ambulance.

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What is the way to a woman's heart? Through her chest cavity.

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What do a van and a pencil have in common? You can write with both, except with the van.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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I LOVE MASTURBAITING ALL DAY!!!!

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Where did Jimmy go after the bombing? Everywhere.

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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