Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had an appointment with his hair stylist. Just kidding chicken don't have hair.

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A teenage girl walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic drink. The bartender declines the order as she is under the legal age of purchasing and consuming alcohol.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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Why did Lebron go to Miami? Because Chuck Norris told him to.

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Roses are red Violets are blue And so does your mom…

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why did the grandmother forget her grandsons name? she has Alzheimers so she is slowly forgetting all her relatives

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Why did the plain crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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no

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Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

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STOP LOOKING AT MY JOKE

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Why really answer a question when you can just respond, "because you touch yourself." For example, Q: Why did fluffy die? A: Because you touch yourself.

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Why were the sea hawks fans mad at the Super Bowl? Because why would you throw the ball if you have one yard to go

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yes... that's the joke

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A Black guy and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. What does the black guy say to the Jew? "Hi".

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A duck walks into a restraunt and sit's down at it's table. The waiter asks what the duck would like to eat. The duck says "I'd like a tasty, healthy meal that will help me lose weight." The waiter says "How about the rocket salad?" So, the duck orders a rocket salad, eat's it, pays his bill, and leaves.

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AFTER PONDERING UPON YOUR SUGGESTION... I HAVE CONSIDERED, THOUGHT, SOUGHT TROUGH THE YELLOW PAGES OF WISDOM AND MIGHT, AND MY ANSWER TO THAT SUGGESTION IS... A DEFINITIVE, FIRM AND MANLY... Moral: MAAAAYBEEEEE?!?!?

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Are you antijoke.com. Because you are a faggot.

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Your mom is so fat, it is unlikely that she will be able to survive the month without experimental liposuction and heart surgery, and even then her outlook is bleak. I am so sorry.

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what did the man say to the sad woman? go make ma a sammich before i hit you again! the women refused and was hit again.

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knock knock who's there? John Oh, come in then

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue You wouldn't know that Cause you're a dog.

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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A man got struck by a car and was rushed to hospital on life support, he died shortly after. His wife was informed of his death by the doctors and shortly after she killed her children and finally hung herself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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