What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's a boomerang that never comes back to you? A stick. :/

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Which way do 5 gay guys walk? Depends on where they're planning to go.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do Elephants and Grapes have in common? They are both purple, except the Elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Christopher Reeve walks into a room.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the baby start crying? someone threw a brick at it

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Weird, orange is my favorite color.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A Jewish man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Kirstie Alley is soooo fat! How fat is she? Well, she's so fat that she's in grave danger of developing heart disease, and death

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats brown and sticky? whatever is coming from your pants

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q. Why did the Mexican have to go back to Mexico? A. His mom died in an auto accident and no one in her village could afford to organize a proper funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down

: Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock. Death.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A midget walks into a bar. No one cares.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man rode into town on Friday and stayed a while and then left on Friday how did he manage this?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red violets are blue I have five fingers the middle one is for you.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A bald man walks out a bar crying Prostate cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the guy say to the mushroom? You're a fungi

thumb_up thumb_down +16

There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops