I learned a new party trick over the weekend; I swallow a piece of string and it comes out my other end tied! I shit you knot.

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What did the bullied schoolboy do when he got home from school? He cried himself to sleep.

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There once was a man from Peru, he couldn't fit into his shoe. He went to Brazil bought a big. Swallowed it and died.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trash can 1 baby in 10 trash cans

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whats used in the kitchen and hurts like fuck? a cheese-grater dildo

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? No Neither has he.

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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How do you know your cat is gay? Other cats have buttsex with him

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What did the white man say to the black man? Did you see the game yesterday?

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Why did the chicken die? He tried to cross a road by an alleyway, therefore getting hit by a double decker bus and the alleyway has nothing to do with it. Also, the chicken had one leg and was blind.

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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What's worse than being a Jew in 2010? Being a Jew in 1942.

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why does god like Justin Bieber? He can't god doesn't like the devil.

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A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

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What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

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Ask me if I'mm a candy cane. Shutup, there are a lot of these types of jokes. Create your own you poophead.

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Q: What did the Jew get for Christmas? A: Nothing you dumbass, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bike? I don't enjoy riding bikes.

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what did pedobear say to the 60 year old man nothing he was too busy molesting the girl across the street

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What did the dad say when the irresponsible goth problem child asked for a gun Yes

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I can't stand 9/11 jokes Their just plane wrong!

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My friends all use twitter but i dont know how to use it, so i said i will carry a megaphone around saying what i am doing at random times. Like yesterday i was in the library so i said into my megaphone "i am in the library" Yay i got 3 new followers, 2 of them were cops. Jokes From Blox Computers Corporation [Thailand] Bellow Joke In Thai: ?????? Twitter ???????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ? ???????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? "i am ??????????" ??????????????? 3, 2 ????????????????????

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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A horse finds himself sleeping in the ocean. Immediately, he decides to be a dolphin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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