Women don't need an education. The only book they need is a recipe book.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

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RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

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Why is Wednesday a bad day? Because at some point, Monday will come around again.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant? A- Don't be ridiculous purple elephants don't exist

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What's blue and smells? A dead girl guide.

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A: What is worse than a melted chocolate bar. B: An eaten one.

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What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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A black guy , a white guy and a jew walk into a resturaunt They are offered the special.

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Racial Equality

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What is Osama Bin Laden's favourite colour? Doesn't matter. He's dead.

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How do you make a person cry? Burn his family.

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A man was driving and texting at the same time and when he was not looking a car passed him on the other side of the road. The man driving the car that passed the man was talking on the phone. When the man txting looked up and look back and said thank god thats not me talking i could of crashed if i was him

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When someone throws a rock at you What do you say? A:Oww

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One jew to screw in the light bulb.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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anti jokes are really funny

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So there are 5 people on a plane the president, a movie star, and man who is on the verge of making world peace, the smartest man in the world, and the pope the piolt has a heart atack at and the plane will crash soon there are only 4 parachutes. So the first is Obama and he saysI won a Nobel piece prize and I run American see ya later and he takes the parachute next Steven hawking says sory pope Im taking this because I don't believe in God and black holes are cool so he takes the parachute and jumps out. Next Charlie Sheen says I need to entertain people and keep the drug dealers in business so he. Takes the parachute and jumps out. Then Francis turns to the hippie and says if you achive world peace it may help eliminate some poverty so you take the last paratute and jump out then the hippie says in return no its OK Steven Hawking took my back back. When they land they decide to serch for Steven's body and they find nothing. You see Steven Hawking had taken his own paratute with him and took the Hippies backpack to sell it and make some money

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3 men of different races walk into a bar. The bartender then proceeds to ask, "what would you 3 men like?"

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A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

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Yo mama so fat that when she goes to the movies she sits next to everybody.

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mangos mandarins mushrooms mustache :{

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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