Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

son, you're adopted.

You remind me of something What? Monday Why? Nobody likes you

Q: What is that white stuff in chicken shit? A: Thats chicken shit too

What do you call a man with no arms or legs after he got into a fight with his cat? You call him by his name and apologize for leaving catnip on his head.

Roses are grey, violets are grey, the sky is grey so is the grass everything is grey, as i am colourblind

How did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

there once was a man from Nantucket. He was a fisherman.

why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

When Chuck Norris moved into a new house he decide to renovate because he didn't like the staircase.

What do you call a man who is dirty, and is searching through a pile of garbage? A man who threw out his divorce papers.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. and Asians are yellow.

why do people put their pants on in the morning? because their not nudists.

What did Reed read? A. Read?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? A question and answering session of information used to test knowledge of a specific idea or person.

Knock knock Who's there? Yolanda I do not know anyone by that name. I am sorry Oh I must be at the wrong house. My apologies. Oh, it's alright. Have a nice day You too. Take care!

Q: Why was the man hit by the train? A: He was tied to the rail road tracks...

What's sad about four black people in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? Jerome never wanted it to end like this. James, his best friend, was drunk... Again. That was just the way he was. He got wasted, did something stupid, apologized, and then did it again. But this time, there would be no next time. They were supposed to be going to their graduation party, but instead, James fell asleep at the wheel. The cliff was rapidly approaching, and the doors were locked. All Jerome could do now was pray. Also, the Cadillac costed a lot.

Knock, Knock Come in

Why a blonde woman eat vegetables? Because she is a vegetarian.

What is green and red all over? The Hulk's Penis in a blender

Whats the best part about being alive? Not getting hit by a bus

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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