How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is stupid and looks like you? You.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It should only take one person to do this job regardless of hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots. The bartender says "Rough day, eh?" The man says "Yes, very rough." He then goes home and hangs himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,521

You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the Jew pick up the penny lying on the sidewalk? Because he dropped it.

thumb_up thumb_down +453

What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How did the man become sterilized? Blow-dart through the testicle.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what do all 21 year olds have in common? there all 21

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a man with no heart? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Why do zebras have stripes? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Joker: You wanna know how I got these scars Me: The Bat... Joker: The Batman!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what do you call a baby rapest jordan gregg

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Q: Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? A: A couple of pigs with questionable carpenter's skills, and maybe Red Riding Hood. Grandma wasn't so lucky.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A child in Africa developed Malaria. He became very sick and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Muffins can't speak therefor it said nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops