Why couldn't a little kid turn around in a hall? He has a spear in his back.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Billy and Suzy sitting in a tree... Billy is gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q:What do you call a wizard who flies? A: A flying wizard.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why couldn't the kid get in to see the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13, and he was only 11. Plus, he had no money, and his mother didn't want him watching movies like that.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what happened when glen haire jumped of a high building? he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How would you punish Helen Keller? Make her read a basketball.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A very busty blond and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender asks with a smile, "What'll be today, pastor?" "Wine. please."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why didnt the poor black man have cell phone service? Because seven eight nine.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do you kill a blond? Shoot her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than having AIDS. Being Black.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what do you tell a black man getting hit by a police baton? that is racial inequality, and you no longer have to take that due to Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar. He sees his wife with another man. That man is his brother.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's dad owned a shot gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A Terrorist walks into an airport. - He then blows himself up.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A rat scurries into a bar. Six days later, all of the people in that bar die of bubonic plague.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Two penguins sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap." The other says, "What do you think I am, a clock!?!?"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is worse than falling down the stairs? Having leukemia.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Shiiit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Taken from all sorts of species! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Bengal tiger, kangaroo, African elephant, blue whale too! Shit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-lala-lala!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why doesn't the chicken wear pants? Beacuse its pecker is on its face.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops