Why am I writing this? Cuz I am eating babies alive right now!

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what did the boy with cancer want for christmas? a gun

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Why is Dominic's nick name big D? Because the first letter in his name is D.

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked

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Yo momma so fat, when she sits on a rainbow nothing happens, as rainbows are merely rays of light refracted off of water particles in the air, apparent to humans only on a visible spectrum.

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A traveling salesman came into town and needed a place to stay for the night. A farmer told him that he could sleep at his house, where he introduced the salesman to his young, sexy daughter. "Why hello," said the salesman. It's very nice to meet you." And then he went to sleep in the bedroom that the farmer had prepared for him.

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A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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Chuck Norris' farts are silent and deadly. Deadly because he's Chuck Norris, silent because his butthole is extremely loose

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why was the little boy brutally murdered? there was a serial killer in his town.

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Women's Rights

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How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously more than six because my bass meant is still dark.

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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What did the japonese man say? Nothing that we can understand.

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What did the badger say to the mushroom? BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER MUSHROOM MUSHROOM! BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER ARGH SNAKE! IT'S A SNAKE...

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What happens if you fight Chuck Norris? You might lose or win.

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did you know towels can cause dry skin?

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Why couldn't little Jimmy see his mum in the crowd? Because he was blind.

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A man walked into a bar. That hurt.

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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What do you call a joke with no punchline?

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How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

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whats the diffrences between black people and a tire nothin

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why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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