What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

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One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

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A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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You wanna hear a joke? Your dick.

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Dave: My wife just gave birth! The baby is doing good. John: You mean doing well?

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What's worst than dropping your watch into the gutter? Waking up with a penis on your head.

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Q: What's your favorite song? A: Not one in particular. I like all kinds of music.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a convicted rapist.

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What do you call a person with no legs playing soccer? A soccer player.

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Q:How do u kill a butcher A: Kill its family

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A little boy falls into the mud Wanna hear a clean joke? He takes a bath with bubbles Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is Michal Jackson.

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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What do an eagle and a mole have in common? They both fly, except for the mole.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Not your dead mom.

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A Jehovah's Witness knocks on my door. I didn't answer the door.

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? A puppy, but it was left too long in a wrapped up box without air, it quickly suffocated and ruined the kids chirstmas.

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2 scrubbers walk into a room , one says " can you you smell fresh-air spray"?

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What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? Jokes related to finding a worm in an apple.

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Why was the black man killed? He committed a serious crime and was issued the death penalty.

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Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

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How did Mary fall off the swing? She got hit by a fridge.

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What is the best place to get watermelons and fried chicken? A Watermelon grove and a popeyes and/or KFC

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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