roses are red vioets are blue i have chlamydia now so do you....

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What's black, white, and red all over? Something that's black, white, and red all over.

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What do airplanes and trees not have in common?? Bananas

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. knock knock. who's there? the chicken.

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Your mother is so fat, that making fun if her is a terrible thing to do.

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what color is blue? green

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An englishman, irish-man and a scotsman walk into a bar. Englishman orderds a pint of becks, Irishman a guiness and the Scot a whiskey. Everything is absolutely fine and nothing of even remote interest happens.

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laughter is the best medicine, unless you have cancer, then you will die.

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8===D ~ ~ ~

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Just kidding, it's Danny. Oh okay, come in.

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what did the bug say when it got ran over by a car? NOTHING, bugs can't talk

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i got 5 Fingers, the middle ones for you ?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had just received a call from his family, hearing that his father had just been butchered. He was approaching the farm when an 18-wheeler approached. The tire flew off, hit a candy store, candy flew in the chicken's mouth, and it died of diabetes. However, right before the chicken died he finally crossed the road, not knowing he would get shot by his farmer. The chicken managed to survive the shooting to his right kidney, wiggled to his family, and died in front of his wife.

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How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

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Knock knock who's there? Boo. Boo who? Uh, Boo Johnson, your next door neighbor. Forget it I'll come another day.

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*via text message* Me: Hey Trevor! You at home? Trevor: This is Trevor's mom. Trevor committed suicide today.. Me: OMG! Why?!? Trevor: Because when I gave him a glass of water, it had 3 ice cubes. Trevor doesn't like odd numbers.

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because she fell off a tree. Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally wanted to cross the road.

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Why did the baby stop crying? Because he stopped breathing.

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What's brown, no one likes and has had a bad history? Dog poop

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Which of the following is the biggest? A. 7 B. 17 C. 71 D. Yo mama

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Thumbs up if you're reading this in 2015!

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A Jew with a boner runs into a wall, what hits first? His nose

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What's worse than a papercut? why do you insist on asking me these questions?

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how many licks does it take to get too the tootsie center of a tootsie pop. Well it depends on how you eat it, there is always the option of biting it, so there is no defined answer, as well as ones lick might absorb more of the lollipop then another mans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops