knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

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Help! I'm locked in a anti-joke factory!

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What do you call a bay that got run over by a train? Thomas

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on the front porch? Matt What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hole? Phil What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating down the river? Bob

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What's black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? 23

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How do you start a riot in Mexico? Roll a penny down the street.

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What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

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What is wet, white and sticky? Glue, of course.

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Why did a 36 year old Asian man stop in the middle of raping someone A: He realized that what he was doing was immoral and that it could scar someone for the rest of there lives and that he could serve a sentence of up to 35 years which would mean he would miss out on the special offers that QVC has to offer during this time

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Why did the white man rub the black man's hair for good luck? Because it's good luck to rub a black man's hair.

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what is very tall and red a very tall red building

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What is green fuzzy and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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A man walks into a bar and asks for a shot. The bartender says ok, then hands him a pistol, then the man shoots the bartender and kills him.

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Hey your name is really Tifa? Sorry, I hate scheming, but in this kind of situation I have to play things safe, I have a wife to take care off, I mean it, I really hate it. Anyway, I got your number, location everything, now if you did send people to harm or even worse kill me, you wont be doing that again, trust me, if I die of an assault, you die next, whoever you are.

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guys ive got a TANK under my house a septic tank

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I put the STD in stud now all i need is U

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

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A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

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That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you think it octopus.

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Seriosly. too much sex again?

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Your mom's so fat, she's is bigger than the average person.

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Why did the boy take the train to school? Because he lived quite far away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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