Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

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What do you get when you cross an African-American, a bird, and ice cream? I don't know.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a scizophrenic, Or at least thats what the voices tell me.

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What is useless and over-payed? Our government.

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A: What do you call a Jew with only one arm on Christmas? B: An amputee.

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What do you call a child with a peg leg, and eye patch, and no hand? Names

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Sometimes black people kill other black people.

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Sorry boss

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What did the one legged girl do when her apartment caught on fire? She tried to hop to safety, but died of smoke inhalation.

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why did the couple sell their house? their children were all raped and then murdered in it and they cant stand the memories

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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7+5=12

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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What do Michael Jackson and your family have in common? They're both dead.

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What do you call a cow that went through a earth quake? A dead cow.

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Whats brown and smells bad poo

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why did annie fall of the swing? she had no arms.. knock knock who's there? not annie.

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You can lead a horse to water, and you can pick your friends, but you can't sneeze with your eyes open.

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your face is kinda funny

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What is the difference between a rose and a grape? They are both purple.

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

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Are you Drew?

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Roses are red, Violets are purple, nothing rhymes with purple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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