What's brown and sticky? Fecal matter.

Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

What do you call a midget cripple with cerebral palsy? Unfortunate

Theres an irishman , scottish man and a welsh man on a plane they where going to france

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He lacked the required muscular, integumentary, and nervous systems required to do so (among other essential bodily systems).

A Scotsman, an Irishman and an Englishman walk into a bar... They enjoy their drinks and leave.

In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

Im Tom and I'm an alcoholic...

A man walks into a bra. Bra kills him...

Whats Brown and sticky... Shit

A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

What's brown and sticky? A stick

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

a blond walks in to a post... OUCH

A chronic hemophilliac walks into a bar. He cuts himself and bleeds to death.

why was the jewish man so sad because his family was killed in a bus accident and he severed his spine and cant walk ever again and his insurance couldunt pay for the bill so he is now bankrupt so he borrowed from the mafia and now owes them 100,000 in a year or they will cut off his fingers and gauge out his eyes

A black guy pulls into a KFC drive thru and orders some chicken. The cashier tells him that they are out of chicken, so the black goes to McDonald's instead.

Here's a riddle... A cowboy rides into town on saturday, stays for three days, and leaves on saturday... How does he do it? Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... OH... I'M DONE NOW...

Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

Person: kk Person1: did you just kk me? Person: no

Why do Vampires drink your blood? Because the movie maker needed a story

How do you know if someone is vegan? They'll tell you.

What did the mime say when he met the clown. Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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