Q: You and a thousand other people are suddenly bursting in flames at a park, there is a big barrel of water just a few steps away from you, what do you do in order to save the people that truly matter? A: Stop drop and roll, duh!

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

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What's the difference between a black male and a white female? There are many differences but all of which are wrong to make a joke about.

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Me and my pet lion just took a trip to his homeland of africa. It is also worthwhile to note I'm a chronic liar.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says, "It is quite hot in here." This is a lie. Neither of the muffins spoke because in reality, Muffins are not only inanimate objects, they are not humans, and therefore they do not have the ability to speak in a comprehensible language.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? No one knows.

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Well, this is fun.

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Q: Why couldn't the black man swim? A: Because ever since he was a child, he has never taken swimming lessons before.

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What did winter say to summer? Nothing. Seasons are physically incapable of speaking because they are not living things. They are simply an idea made by humans to explain why the weather changes as the sun spins around the earth.

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An Irishman, a Jew, an Asian, and a Priest all walk into a bar This is an example of a well-balanced community

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*Knock Knock* "whose there?"... "me"

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Girl, why are you crying? I'm not a girl, I'm a strawberry.

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A man is writing with a #2 pencil. He looks down and sees that it says "Made in China." He shrugs and continues writing

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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What do you call a penis without hair? Apple sause

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Why did Charlotte fall off the swing? She got hit in the face with an axe.

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A man walks up to another man and asks what time it is. He then replies " It's 2:00" The man then pulls out a sandwich and eats it

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Why do black guys always have sex on their mind? Because they are men.

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What did the doctor say to the Jew? You have cancer.

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there r three guys on a bridge. They r chinese,mexican,&american. They each have a bottle of beer. The chinese dude says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. Then the mexican says I have enough of this in my country and throws it over the bridge. The american takes a drink of his and sets it down he looks at the mexican and says I have enough of these in my country and throws the mexican over the bridge.

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MLG 420 NO SCOPE THE JEWS

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Why was the Tortous and the Hare written? So fat people will feel good about themselves.

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q: whats fat hairy and always eats mcdonalds a playboy model i lied about everything

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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