roses are red, violets are blue, hey reed and steven, we should hang out

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How do you make a business man cry? Hit him in the face with a brick

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Paul Dylan King!

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what do you get when you cross a giraffe and an octopus an abomination

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Q: What did little Timmy get from his mother this Christmas? A: The contents of her will.

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Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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what is the difference between a banana and an orange? bread.

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Q: how do you test the sharpness of a knife A: stab someone MR

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What's a golfer's favorite sandwich? Well, it depends on the golfer

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A black man walks into a store and buys something.

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Why are black people so tall? Because their parents were

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What is the square root of 69? 8.30662386

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Why was the jew so happy? He won the lottery which at the time was 3.40 dollars

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What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

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roses are red violets are blue they really are

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Two clowns are walking down the street The first says, "Whats better sunshine or rainbows?" The second says nothing, then casually picks up a brick and beats the other clown to death.

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I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!! LOUD NOISES!!!

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Why did the fat black guy fail his eye exam? He's blind.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Hellen Keller walks into a bar. And a tree. And a lamp.

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Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

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What do you call a bunch of black people at the bottom of the ocean? Cocoa puffs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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