What did the black man say when he noticed his crack was missing? I guess they fixed the sidewalk while I was at work.

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

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Q. What goes 100 mph and is green? A. A frog in a blender

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Why does Mario grown on shrooms? Because they bloom inside of him.

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How do you get dislikes on anti-joke.com? You can dislike your own post from several different IP addresses.

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whats the difference between a guitar and a fish? A guitar is an instrument used to produce noise and a fish is a living orgnism native to lakes and oceans

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wow, that guy is such a buzz-kill. worse than Buzz Killington!

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What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because KFC was hiring

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Whats brown and sticky? A peice of poo

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Win industrial estate, Newry

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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What's the difference between Hurricane Sandy and Barrack Obama? One is a catastrophic event that resulted in thousands of deaths, countless power outages and homes destroyed, and millions of dollars in damages, and is said to be one of the worst tropical storms to ever hit the nation. The other is the President of the United States, who has put in an unbelievable amount of effort to fix our economy, create jobs, and make America a better place to live. So as you can see, the two things are extremely different. One must wonder why this question was even asked in the first place, as one is a human being and the other is a storm, making any common traits between them almost non-existent.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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ALCATRAZ IS REOPENED!

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Yeah your point? Anyway, so then the brain surgeon goes: I have have cut into thousands of brains, and never seen a single thought.

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Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

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What's the difference between liberals and communists? Nothing.

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A American seeking into mexico

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GUESS WHAT ?????????? THATS WHAT CAOMHIN

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Two homosexuals are making love in the kitchen. One leaves for a bit and says, "Dont finish without me." Upon returning, white goo is spattered across the floor. Concerned that the clumsily dropped icing may stain, they promptly clean it.

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The tooth fairy, Santa and, Justin Beiber are the same, little kids believe in them, whats wrong with America these days

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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