Q: What do they call watermelons in Indiana A:watermelons

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How did the mexicans get to the United States of America? By plane.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's black and gets in trouble a lot? A dog with black fur that has not been well trained.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses Are Red Violets are blue A face like yours belong in a zoo Don't worry ill be there too Not in the cage but laughing at you

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team? Q: She ran away from the ball.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are OK, Violets do the trick, C'mon and let me whip out my Dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because I shot him. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? Because his tail was stapled to the other monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck its dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

whats my name? Matt

thumb_up thumb_down -6

If life gives you AIDs, make lemonaids.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats on my leg? A pimple. What is it doing? Releasing a white/clear puss.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you get a baby to stop crying You kill it

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Too bad I don't have one.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats worse than getting raped by jack the ripper? Getting fingered by captain hook.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How did Mario finally defeat Bowser? He took Steriods

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Half empty = half full Therefore Half (empty) = half (full) empty= full Half empty

thumb_up thumb_down -12

whats the difference between a turkey and a baby i dont know how to cook a turkey

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops