How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

What do you do when a elephant is sitting on your fence? You hit it with a fridge

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know your mother is a skank.

how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit it with an axe

Barack Obama.

How do you call a black man? By his first name.

roses are white, violets are black, You should probably consult with an eye doctor, for you probably have severe color blindness.

Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis.

Yo mamma's so fat, she should try NutriSystem.

400 asian people walked in a bar

Why did child's mom cry when he was born? The child had no head.

It's a bird! No it's a plane! No you idiots, it's only a cloud.

Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

Like CHUCK NORRIS, CHUCK NORRIS like You !

How do you make a baby spin? Put it in a blender and turn it on.

You copy and paster!

Yo mama is so stupid, she has a sub-par intelligence quota.

What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

Roses are red Violets are blue But this is Italy So let me fuck you

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dog, which also fell out of the tree.

when the doctor asked him why he was sad andreas replyd i have a small penis and drew and devin keep making me drop the soap

What do Micheal Jackson and Niel Armstrong have in common? Armstrong did the earthwalk on the moon and Jackson F#$%ed little boys in the butt.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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