Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

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what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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What do you get when you sunflower? Vegan turtles.

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Are You McDonalds Because I'm Loving It

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What do you give a sick bird? First-Aid tweetment.

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Your mom's so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and foods with nutritional value!!!! Oh burn!!!!

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Q: why can't dinosaurs sing? A: because they're dead!!!

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knock knock who's there? bell bell who? bellend

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Augustus was touring his Empire and noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself. Intrigued, he asked: ‘Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?’ ‘No, your Highness,’ he replied, ‘but my father was.

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A blond, teen girl with a pink hat and glasses goes to the doctor, and she says, "Doctor, doctor! I keep hearing bees, whislting, humming birds, and Tom Jones! Whats happening to me?!" The doctor says, "Tinnitus".

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a short man asked a tall man "hey hows the weather up there"? the tall man couldnt answer cause he was sucked up by a tornado that missed the short man

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What did the senile man say to the kids on his lawn? Tree dance the gator thong for my nipples.

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What do call a black piano player? A pianist.

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

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How did the ship-less pirate cross the Atlantic? In an airplane.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will it be? Sarah Jessica Parker replies, i'll have 4 cosmopolitans for me and my friends.

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What's the difference between an elephant and I?Our mass.

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Your mams so fat that she has aids... and i gave it to her

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HEY EVERYONE THUMBS UP!

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Why did the one-legged chicken say déjà vu? It felt a strong sensation that the current event had been experienced in the past.

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A one legged long jumper missed the world record by one foot.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer-pressure.

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The man who killed hitler must have ben a swell dude a.w. j.p.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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