How do you become thinner in a week? Stand in front of a Bulldozer.

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If a rooster lays a brown egg on the south side of an Asian man's roof, which way would I turn at the intersection? Folderol, because laundry has no soul.

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What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

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69

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What do you get when you sunflower? Vegan turtles.

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Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

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Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

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A man walks into a bar. - - - - - - - - -

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I am an orphan I have no parents

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

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Why was the black man eating a banana? Because bananas are an excellent source of potassium.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

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a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

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It's a bird! No it's a plane! No you idiots, it's only a cloud.

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Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

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how Sudan answered England when England's ambassador eaten by Sudanese people? Eat ours

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What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

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ARE YOU READY FOR THE OLDEST ANTIJOKE EVER WRITTEN: HERE IT COMES....... THE MOST ANCIENT OF THEM ALL...... ARE YOU READY?????? HERE WE GO...... Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! THAT'S RIGHT. THIS IS IN FACT AN ANTI JOKE - "...ends with such an anti climax...the lack of punchline is the punchline."

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roses are red violets are blue your baby has down syndrome

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what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

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Why does Marcus keep playing dumb games instead of doing his goelogy. No one knows.

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why did the girl cross the road ? to get run over by a flee of running cows

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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