roses are red violets are blue your baby has down syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Three men sit at a bar. A clown walks in, so the first man says, "Oh, what fresh hell is this?", gets up and leaves. Then a fairy flies in, so the second man says, "Aw, hell no!", gets up and leaves. So the third man was alone with the fairy and clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What do you call a guy that likes men? A: Gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's the difference between mustangs and dead babies I don't collect mustangs

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's brown and sticky? A penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you do when a elephant is sitting on your fence? You hit it with a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Roses are red. Violets are blue. This next line doesn't rhyme. Nor does this one. This isn't a very good poem.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

thumb_up thumb_down -101

What is the difference between a joke, and an antijoke? A joke is actually funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -111

What's the easiest way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

You should periodically review the most up-to-date version of the Terms of Service. Oh you.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

An elephant and a llama walk into a bar. Realizing that they must have broken out of the local zoo, all of the people run out of the bar screaming.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

thumb_up thumb_down +28

whats black and looks like a bucket a black bucket

thumb_up thumb_down +18

So I was making this glass of milk right? So I get the milk out. And I get the soup out.. then I go...wait a minute...where'd the glass of soup come into this glass of situations? *smile+awkard pause because nobody will laugh at this=Success of this anti joke...try it*

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What Happends When Sawdust Gets in your mouth You poop logs

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Have you heard about the new German microwave? It's a great labour-saving appliance that cooks food much more quickly than a conventional oven

thumb_up thumb_down -2

69

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops