Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Yeah neither did she.

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An Asian child flunks a test.

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Knock-Knock who's there? Artichoke Artichoke who? Your friend Artie choked on a ham sandwich, and I'm sorry to inform you that he didn't survive.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody, because first, pineapples are too small to fit in, and second, you would drown.

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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Why did the boy dress up as a zombie? Because it was Halloween.

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Roberto: Did you watch that WNBA game tonight?!? Will: No Roberto: Me either

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Izzy and Zayn Malick got married. Then Zayn asked for a divorce due to their age difference..

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Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

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roses are red violets are blue your baby has down syndrome

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I am darkness, soon I shall rule the world, those of you that desire to serve me thumb this up, those of you that desire eternal fear beyond your imagination, thumb me down. Moral: Try thinking of me and thinking "he is crazy", in order to unlock the secrets behind spontaneous human combustion.

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What's the difference between mustangs and dead babies I don't collect mustangs

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Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

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So theres a priest, a rabbi, and an athiest on a cliff. They all remark at the beautiful view and take plenty of pictures with their respected families.

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How does a black guy who murdered his wife get out of jail? He serves his sentence and is allowed to return back home.

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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Dislike if you shag sheep ;)

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Why do vampires suck the blood of their victims? Because blood is very nutritious and provides more iron for heamoglobin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he happened to be walking in that general direction.

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What did the headless man say? Nothing. The man can't speak because he doesn't have a head.

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What's the difference between dead babies and ferraris? I don't have 17 ferraris in my garage.

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You should periodically review the most up-to-date version of the Terms of Service. Oh you.

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I believe that as long as we do not change, as we decide to believe in ourselves and use our strength and potential, all that is left, is to see which side fate favors. Maybe we are meant to survive trough our strength and belief in ourselves and each other, or maybe we are, or will eventually end up as the last people of our kind, and fade away from life, proving that those that trust in the corrupt, where better than us. Suddenly I feel so alone.

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Whats green has four legs and would kill you if it fell from a tree. Pool Table.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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