How do you become thinner in a week? Stand in front of a Bulldozer.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did Billy fall off the swings? Because he had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

hey

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Me:I talk to myself to much. Me:Same

thumb_up thumb_down -13

The chicken hesitated to cross the road. It pondered endlessly on the ramifications of not crossing the road, the future jokes that would never have been made. So it crossed the road with no real purpose for others to come up with unique ideas. Just kidding there is no proof that chickens have ever existed. There is proof that Barack Obama is a woman, however.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What the black guy say to the Jew during the blizzard? I think it's snowing.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you confuse a blonde? You ask her a question.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Ask me if I am a tree Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the business man move to New York? Because he saw a potential business opportunity that could benefit him and his loving family.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

what would you do if Michael Jackson was drowning? he can't drown he's already dead

thumb_up thumb_down -43

when the doctor asked him why he was sad andreas replyd i have a small penis and drew and devin keep making me drop the soap

thumb_up thumb_down +144

I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +86

You should periodically review the most up-to-date version of the Terms of Service. Oh you.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had an appointment with his hair stylist. Just kidding chicken don't have hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q: What's funny about prostitution? A: Nothing. It's a widely misunderstood profession.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

It’s dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Your mom's so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and foods with nutritional value!!!! Oh burn!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had heard from a mutual friend that his ex-girlfriend, who he had recently broken up with, would be present at the same party and to avoid an awkward encounter he chose not to go.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did Darth Vader say when he spilled his drink? Darth Vader is a fictional character and is not a part of humanity.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken kill itself? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They sent her to her room without dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops