What do call a black piano player? A pianist.

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Don't you just hate it when sentences don't end how you think they TESTACLES

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How many hamburgers can a grizzly bear eat? Maybe 6.

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ROB SNIEDER ISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS A CAARRRRROT! rated pg-13

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A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

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Q: What do you call a black pilot? A: A pilot, you racist

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Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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obamas trench

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken got crushed by a fridge.

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What does the cup-cake say to the cake? Do you want a cup in your cake to make it cup-cake?

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, and it's destroying he's family

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What's worse than your mom finding out she has AIDS? After she found out she had AIDS she stormed out of the hospital and got run over by a bus.

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How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? My dad is dead.

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What did the nurse say to the man who got an erection while being given a sponge bath? She assured him it was a normal reaction and moved on to clean his arms.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black.

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Why did the people thumbs-up the anti-joke? Because I threatened them with A GUN

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What does the Cookie Monster eat? Nothing. The Cookie Monster is not a living, sentient being and does not require sustenance to live.

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The King stands next to a pole. The King goes away, the pole stays there.

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A black guy and a white guy walk into a bar, they were both unemployed and blowing their savings on their alcohol addictions

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Why were the floors of the movie theaters so sticky? Spilled beverages.

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69

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You might be a redneck if you spent all day in the sun without sunscreen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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