A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

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What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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Why did Uncle Monty shove his head up a horses arse? Because it gave Doris an erection. She chose to keep her male genital organs following her gender changing procedure, so that she could still father children.

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Why doesn't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? George. George Who? George Smith.

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What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first one to walk on the moon... and Michael Jackson molested little children.

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knock knock. who's there thatsron thatsron who thatsron man

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Q) You know how I know your gay A) Cuz your gay

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A man opens his refrigerator and takes out a can of soda. He returns back to his living area and continues watching television.

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What's worse than your mom finding out she has AIDS? After she found out she had AIDS she stormed out of the hospital and got run over by a bus.

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Why is your face? Because.

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Apple.

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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Knock knock Who's There? (It was a ding dong ditch. Or a knock knock ditch. What ever.)

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What did the man say to his wife? We are both men. Apart from you.

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When there's something weird in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The police.

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The King stands next to a pole. The King goes away, the pole stays there.

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My Friday was going great until i realized it's Thursday...

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What is 6 plus 9? 15.

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What do the Chinese call ping pong? Ping pong.

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Roses are red violets are blue I hate rhyming pancakes

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? If you eat a Jew, you're deemed a cannibal and are frowned upon by the majority of society.

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Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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