What do you do when your dishwasher isn't working? Beat it senseless, and then tell your wife you need a new one.

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Why did the baker have brown hands: Because he was black

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Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

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How many lemons does it take to fix a lightbulb Lemons can't fix lightbulbs as the don't have a mind,heart or any limbs.Think about that crap.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? George. George Who? George Smith.

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what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

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There was a Mexican, a Chinese, and an American on a plane. The Mexican threw down a sack of beans, the Chinese threw down a sack of rice, and the American threw down a bomb. The plane landed. When the three passengers stepped out of the plane, they were hungry.

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What's the difference between mustangs and dead babies I don't collect mustangs

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The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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How many Polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? My dad is dead.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because Se7en was a scary movie!

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Why did the blonde laugh at the funeral? She suffers from autism, and doesn't understand when it isn't appropriate laugh. The mourners at the funeral, understanding this problem, ignored her and carried on with the service.

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What do Micheal Jackson and Niel Armstrong have in common? Armstrong did the earthwalk on the moon and Jackson F#$%ed little boys in the butt.

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis.

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A baby seal walked into a club.

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Hi

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A dog walked into a bar. The bartender barked at the dog and the dog replied with, "I don't speak dog language."

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Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

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Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

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JUSTIN BIEBER IS A FAG

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why did the girl cross the road ? to get run over by a flee of running cows

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Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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