What never seems to get old? AIDS.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" then one of the costumers calls the health inspector and he shuts the place down because its not sanitary to have dirty horses in bars.

Ok, so, a big moose walks into a store and he looks around for potatoes but he cant find any. So he asked a worker, "do you know where the potatoes are?" and she says, "the potatoes are in aisle 3." So the moose goes to aisle 3 and there aren't any potatoes!

Dont look at me.

What is black and gray? This rectangle and this text.

A man walks into a pole.

Knock Knock Who's There? You don't know me, but I just hit a car parked on the street outside your house and I believe its yours, we should exchange information

A man walks into a bar. He sees his wife with another man. That man is his brother.

Penis.

Why couldn't the man find his watch? Because he was mugged by a homeless man and had severe brain damage..... ....and because he left it at the office

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

What is a vampires favorite desert? Vampires aren't real.

What do you call a black man from Germany? A Germ.

Chuck Norris is a regular human being, just like the rest of us.

Ask me if I'm a flower. Are you a flower? No.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because he was too much of a bitch to when his friends dared him.

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

Whats funny about a car crash? If a bowl of soup is talking.

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

What does a turtle do on its back? NOTHING!

Sheesh people! Stop insulting my last comment! Do not GO into my comment section, I do not WANT YOU to keep thumbing up those that call me pedo. Moral: Norway... you gonna call us all pedophiles? Please... besides I prefer them over nineteen... the downside is that they often got a couple of kids already at that age... Sigh...

Three men sit at a bar. A clown walks in, so the first man says, "Oh, what fresh hell is this?", gets up and leaves. Then a fairy flies in, so the second man says, "Aw, hell no!", gets up and leaves. So the third man was alone with the fairy and clown.

a man walks out of his home and into a bar PLOT TWIST! he is a chicken

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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