What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being shot repeatedly in the chest.

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Doctor, people always laught at me at work! :( What do you do for a living? I am a comedian...

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What's worse than repeating holocaust jokes? Repeating the holocaust.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? George. George Who? George Smith.

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There was a Mexican, a Chinese, and an American on a plane. The Mexican threw down a sack of beans, the Chinese threw down a sack of rice, and the American threw down a bomb. The plane landed. When the three passengers stepped out of the plane, they were hungry.

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Three men sit at a bar. A clown walks in, so the first man says, "Oh, what fresh hell is this?", gets up and leaves. Then a fairy flies in, so the second man says, "Aw, hell no!", gets up and leaves. So the third man was alone with the fairy and clown.

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A man opens his refrigerator and takes out a can of soda. He returns back to his living area and continues watching television.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What do you call children with no arms or legs ...their names

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What does a baby sound like when put in the microwave? I don't know, I was masturbating.

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How do you confuse a blonde? You ask her a question.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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Q. What do you call a bunch of guys in a shower? A. The Holocaust.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? If you eat a Jew, you're deemed a cannibal and are frowned upon by the majority of society.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Jehovah's Witnesses.

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Why did the baker have brown hands: Because he was black

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Why did the girl fall off the fridge? She tripped on a rock.

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what do you do when a baby screams? shake it.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane over New York? The Pilot.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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Kill me? Lol, come get me sis, I can kill you wit my mullet, nobody wants to take my phone, but your sister already replied to my "anna fuck" with "arent you married buddy? :)" yeah a smiley, ill show you! The doors are open, if I fail to take you out, I am not deserving of living futher, course yea mother blusx to everywown, I mean she is horny all the tiem! Anywaz, hurry up, im out of stims so im fallin sleeps, told ur sis to send me a nude pic, rite now... so this mite take 3 minuts. Hey, watch the next pic im gonna send you, that should motivate you to fight me sersly, i men sure im slo, but imma sp ful ov valeium dat i feel nor feear no pain... never feeer pain so whateves... Nah your sis is skinny, thats not here, the pixture is fakye, for now... u dyou know dat she keeps snending them hearte and smile and even a smilei with a rose, thats FLIRIIIIIING! Flirting, anyway you get the picture, but I wont respon anymor becuz i am shuttin down this pc and gonna dream abot the things to0 you sis. ;)

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Yo mama is so stupid, she has a sub-par intelligence quota.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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