Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

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My doctor recommended I take anger management classes. That really pisses me off.

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Justin Bieber walks into a Gay-Bar. He is then kindly escorted out because he is underage. Also, because the patrons gave him certain looks that brought concern to the heterosexual bartender.

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What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

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A man walks into a bar, has a few drinks and spots a nice looking lady He then follows her home and molestes her child.

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Why did the girl suck the other guy off? to get paid

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What's brown, liquid and bad for your health in large doses? Did you guess: Coca Cola? Soda? Beer? Pepsi? Wrong. It's beer. Did this Anti-joke sound pretentious? Don't worry, you're not the only one.

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what is faster than a cheetah? i dont know what? if i knew why would i be asking..

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A man goes to his drug dealer to buy Meth, there is no joke here, he is addicted to meth.

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your momma is so poor she had you just for the free milk

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My mumma your mumma live down the street 18,19 marble street out came you and out came me but then your mumma died from her pee

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? There is no Santa Claus.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? If so, you're probably a pervert.

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What did the black man say to the man from Kyrgyzstan? I've never heard of your country before.

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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A man walks into a 1980's style restaurant he takes a seat and orders his meal.

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I saw a man one day i saw him the next day and the next and the next i didn't see him ever again

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Why did the man start crying? Because he lost his job.

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't a drunk driver went off the street and hit the chicken and killed it on impact.

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Racial Equality.

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What's white and hides behind a tree? Shy milk.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being disabled.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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