How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

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In an alternate universe, Jake Sulley's brother did not die. The human race proceeded to strip-mine Pandora of all its mineral wealth, and slaughtered the entire indigenous population.

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My doctor recommended I take anger management classes. That really pisses me off.

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Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

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Why did the man start crying? Because he lost his job.

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I saw a man one day i saw him the next day and the next and the next i didn't see him ever again

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So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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Why did the blonde buy a hotdog? She didn't. She has chronic anorexia.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing because polar bears lived in the northern hemisphere and penguins lived in the southern. But if one is smuggled from north to south or vice-versa. The polar would growl and consume the penguin.

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Why did nick and tyler visit anti-joke.com? Because they have nothing better to do.

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What is worse than the Holocaust? a Michael Bay movie

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why was the man a redneck? because he got sunburned at the nascar race.

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Yo mama is so hairy, because she's arab.

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Hello penis

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ALL OF YOU NO MORE CURSING EVEN THOUGH ITS NOT POSSABLE SO DON'T LISTEN

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Grandma walked into the kitchen...

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A man walks into a bar, has a few drinks and spots a nice looking lady He then follows her home and molestes her child.

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Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

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Why did the man fall off the swing? he got hit in the back of the head with a shovel.

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LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

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Who let the dogs out? The pet shop.

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What do all of these jokes have in common? They're not funny. You see, the definition of an anti-joke is a "type of indirect humor that involves the joke-teller delivering something which is deliberately not funny, or lacking in intrinsic meaning. The audience is expecting something humorous, and when this does not happen, the irony itself is of comedic value." As this is a page full of anti-jokes, we know to expect the unfunny - thus robbing us of the experience of an anti-joke.

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A man goes to his drug dealer to buy Meth, there is no joke here, he is addicted to meth.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? If so, you're probably a pervert.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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