So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the man get off the bus? Penis

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the Kek Kick Ben? Cause Ben kicked Kek's Kik. KEKEKEK

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Wanna hear a dirty joke? If so, you're probably a pervert.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

In an alternate universe, Jake Sulley's brother did not die. The human race proceeded to strip-mine Pandora of all its mineral wealth, and slaughtered the entire indigenous population.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

thumb_up thumb_down

Ever hear the joke about the black guy going to jail its not a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what is faster than a cheetah? i dont know what? if i knew why would i be asking..

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the Muffin say to the other muffin ? I dont know

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why was the man a redneck? because he got sunburned at the nascar race.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Yo mama is so hairy, because she's arab.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

ALL OF YOU NO MORE CURSING EVEN THOUGH ITS NOT POSSABLE SO DON'T LISTEN

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

thumb_up thumb_down +23

national song of the mute person? 5 minutes of silence please

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? What kind of society have we created that a chicken can't even cross a road without his motives being questioned?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Yo mommas so fat they had to change 'one size fits all' to 'one size fits most'

thumb_up thumb_down -19

In Soviet Russia, You drive the car, fill it up with gas and park it Just like in America

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -153

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

thumb_up thumb_down -161

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What has wheels and spins round and round? A dog in a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops