Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had heard from a mutual friend that his ex-girlfriend, who he had recently broken up with, would be present at the same party and to avoid an awkward encounter he chose not to go.

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? BECAUSE SHE WAS A BITCH!

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

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what did batman say to robin before getting into the car? get in the car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had an appointment with his hair stylist. Just kidding chicken don't have hair.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa.... A minute passes.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? My ass

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How did mary and molly have sex it is impossible for two women to perform sex

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Roses are red Violets are blue (not really) I have Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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your momma is so poor she had you just for the free milk

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. This next line doesn't rhyme. Nor does this one. This isn't a very good poem.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What's faster than a black guy with your TV? Probably someone who doesn't have to carry such a heavy object.

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knock knock who's there? roses are red, violets are blue, i shit in a bag and now its in flames on your porch

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing. Muffins are incapable of speaking.

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What did the pope do when he saw the grinch? He prayed for his soul.

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Q: What do you call a car full of black people? A: Stolen

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Why did the baker have brown hands: Because he was black

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What do you call a man who writes anti-jokes? Rhys, because that is my name. thank you

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How do you confuse a blonde? Say eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Who has the biggest cock A rooster

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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