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What's green and fuzzy and would hurt a lot if it fell out of a tree and hit you? A pool table

Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

Why did the Dr love drop hit guitar? Because a bear walked into a bar and killed everyone in there including dr love and was then shot to death by police and animal control.

So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

Why did the man fall off the swing? he got hit in the back of the head with a shovel.

Why did the blonde buy a hotdog? She didn't. She has chronic anorexia.

Who let the dogs out? The pet shop.

Why did nick and tyler visit anti-joke.com? Because they have nothing better to do.

What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

Yo mommas so fat they had to change 'one size fits all' to 'one size fits most'

Why did the man pick the flower? Because he didn't like flowers.

Why does my ass hurt I played gmod with a blackpeople

Why did the chicken cross the road? I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers ravaged her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

What's white and hides behind a tree? Shy milk.

What do you Call L.L. Cool J's mexican cousin? El El Bean

ON THE SEVENTH DAY OF JUNE, THURSDAY HAPPENED!!!! -ilikecrepes97

What did the black man say to the man from Kyrgyzstan? I've never heard of your country before.

got a new boxing bag the other day its hanging from the top of my stairs its called dead seb

What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

Knock knock Who's There? Idk, who the **** names their kid There?

An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? What kind of society have we created that a chicken can't even cross a road without his motives being questioned?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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