I'm the rubber and you're the glue, whatever you say sends vibrations through the air that hit my eardrum and my brain interprets these vibrations as what your are saying.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Two girls are sitting quietly.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock Knock There was no answer as the house was empty.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are red Violets are blue (not really) I have Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Jim: Can you shoot a basketball with one hand? Moe: There's no such thing as a basketball with one hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Poop

thumb_up thumb_down -63

A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

thumb_up thumb_down -109

Barack Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down -119

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

thumb_up thumb_down -163

2 women were sitting quietly.

thumb_up thumb_down +106

Wanna hear a dirty joke? If so, you're probably a pervert.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

There once was a man from Nantucket. He still lives there.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

i am a dwarf i have a big nose im a ranga nice to meet you julia

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +40

a weird guy tickled a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

yeah..

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call one black guy surrounded by eleven white guys? Wayne Simmonds

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what did the cat say when he walked into a room full of dogs? Get meowt of here!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was Thomas Jefferson chosen to write the Declaration of Independence? He was an educated man and seemed suitable for said job.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the blonde buy a hotdog? She didn't. She has chronic anorexia.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A Mexican, and American, and a Chinese man are crossing the street. They all get hit by a car and die.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops