what's red and green and goes 100 mph? a red and green car going over the speed limit.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Why did the man pick the flower? Because he didn't like flowers.

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Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

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Poop

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A black man, a Jew and a Hispanic man walk into a bar and the bartender says "Hello. What could I get for you?" The black man had a Manhattan. The Hispanic man had a Bloody Mary. The Jew merely had water, as his religion forbids alcohol. The trio enjoy their drinks and then exit the establishment.

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lol

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What's rock hard and is sharp? A rock...and my penis.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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Why was the bear gay. He grew up in a disfunctional home.

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What did the catholic priest say to the little boy? Nothing sexual, that kind of behavior isn't as widespread as people think.

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What's the worst part about seeing a dead baby on the beach? The crushing sadness.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? If so, you're probably a pervert.

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what do you call a man that looks like will ferrel? jim

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national song of the mute person? 5 minutes of silence please

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What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

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Why did the blonde buy a hotdog? She didn't. She has chronic anorexia.

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What is worse than the Holocaust? a Michael Bay movie

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Whats worse than a blonde jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car, and orphaning two little girls who are beat in the orphanage and become homeless and unimportant and consequently jumping off bridges themselves?

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What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

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What do you get when you combine KIA and NOKIA? A cheap vehicle with a cheap mobile phone inside.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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How do you make an eggroll? You push it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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