Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

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two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did the man get off the bus? Penis

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Yo mommas so fat they had to change 'one size fits all' to 'one size fits most'

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ask me if im poop are you poop? no that is impoible

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Q: Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? A: Because he's dead.

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Why does my ass hurt I played gmod with a blackpeople

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What did the priest say to the rabbi ? I'm gay.

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9/11

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lol

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Regardless of the number of dead babies present, painting a house will require at least one living baby.

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Magic is another word for "poorly perceived analysis of the mechanics of this complex instrumentality we call optical illusion."

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got a new boxing bag the other day its hanging from the top of my stairs its called dead seb

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So Doc... Do I have H.I.V or not? Well... Lets just say you should think positive now... NO! I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS *Jumps out window* ...Because the results might not appear correctl... OH you do not have... Where did you go? Phew, Good thing it was first floor! Dont be silly, you dont have an immune system which means you have full blown AIDS

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Why did the blonde buy a hotdog? She didn't. She has chronic anorexia.

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Who let the dogs out? The pet shop.

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What is a wok? A wok is sumting you twow at wabbits.

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Why did nick and tyler visit anti-joke.com? Because they have nothing better to do.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What kind of society have we created that a chicken can't even cross a road without his motives being questioned?

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What do you call a white person on a leash? A toddler.

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What did the Muffin say to the other muffin ? I dont know

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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