two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

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What did the widow get for mothers day A miscarriage

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Why did the man fall off the swing? he got hit in the back of the head with a shovel.

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A Brunette walks in to the docters office and says" Docter it hurts when i poke my self." She then pokes her arm and screams in agony. Then She pokes her leg and screams in agony. The Docter says "Are you really a brunette'' She replys "no im a Blonde." Docter says " oh then you have broken your finger"

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What did the priest say to the rabbi ? I'm gay.

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Im ashamed of being from Canada

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ON THE SEVENTH DAY OF JUNE, THURSDAY HAPPENED!!!! -ilikecrepes97

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What did the blind kid get for Christmas? A collection of braile children's reading books.

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What did the black man say to the man from Kyrgyzstan? I've never heard of your country before.

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What's green and fuzzy and would hurt a lot if it fell out of a tree and hit you? A pool table

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What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

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Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Hello, I'm here to deliver your groceries. Ok thank you, please leave them by the front door.

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Why did nick and tyler visit anti-joke.com? Because they have nothing better to do.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Ever hear the joke about the black guy going to jail its not a joke.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What does a tree and a human have in common? They both fall if you chop them with an axe.

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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What's the difference between Justin Beeber and a Basett hound? I don't know.

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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Why did the girl suck the other guy off? to get paid

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Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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