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What is the favorite song of Lady Di? no, that is a dead person and must be respected.

Why did the blond play Russian roulette? She is very poor and needs the money so she can feed her son.

Why did he buy ANTIJOKE THE BOOK! - ? Because he wanted to read it.

knock knock! fu ck off i'm a shift worker trying to sleep

Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

A black guy and a white guy walk into a bar, they were both unemployed and blowing their savings on their alcohol addictions

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

Why did the President Truman approve the use a nuke over Hiroshima? Sending Chuck Norris was widely considered to be too cruel.

What would you get if I your donkey ate my chickens legs? A court order to have them seperated.

Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

A blonde is standing on the edge of a 20-story building. He's had a rather rough life.

What does the cup-cake say to the cake? Do you want a cup in your cake to make it cup-cake?

Q: what did the common cold say to the cough? A: you are SO annoying!

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Shoes, socks, and mittens.

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

How do you confuse a blonde? You ask her a question.

It was a stormy night and a stinking boy was running away from the co-op, he was clutching onto his pocket and constantly looked over his shoulder.... panting the boy reaches for a rusty door handle he opens the door quickly and shuts it behind him. "mam i got tea" said the boy "thanks david we will eat tonight for once" said a big chinned pharaoh.

Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

Roses are red, However, they can also be other colours, such as white, pink or yellow.

Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

How do you call blond girl with no arms and no legs ? A victim of a tragic car accident.

Knock-Knock. Who's there? The person knocking at your door.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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