Suzie has no arms and no legs and is on a swing. what happened? she fell and died knock knock whos there? not suzie.

what is the difference between having sex and having sex on my period ..... i have something to drink when i have sex on my period

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are both eaten fifteen minutes later.

What did the homeless child get for Christmas? Leukemia

Why do chinese firefighters wear white belts in their firefighting uniforms? So the their pants stay up.

Why does my ass hurt I played gmod with a blackpeople

Why did the chicken cross the road? I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers ravaged her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

What did the blind kid get for Christmas? A collection of braile children's reading books.

Q: What is the difference between a tree and a women? A: your mom

How do you make an eggroll? You push it.

Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

Why did the Dr love drop hit guitar? Because a bear walked into a bar and killed everyone in there including dr love and was then shot to death by police and animal control.

Knock knock Who's There? Idk, who the **** names their kid There?

what did the duck say to the hawk? quack

What's brown and sticky? Human excrement.

Roses are red Violets are blue I like pancakes Ouch! That hurt!

A tiger walks into a bar. Clearly there is something wrong with animal control.

whats white and cant climb a fence? a fridge

Barack Obama.

Want to hear the best joke ever? Me too.

What did the gay man say to the other gay man? Hey, we're both gay, let's have sex!

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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