What's white and sticky? Glue.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? - It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the lion get lost? because the jungle is massive.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Miss Polly had a Dolly who was sick sick sick So she called for the Doctor to come quick quick quick The doctor came with his bag and his hat And he knocked on the door with a rat-tat-tat. He looked at Polly's Dolly and he shook his head. He said she had leprosy and must have all her limbs amputated.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What does a tree and a human have in common? They both fall if you chop them with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

One white male lives in a city with all blacks. He puts up with gang violence nearly every day.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's white and hides behind a tree? Shy milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What did the priest say to the rabbi ? I'm gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

How did the black man get out of the bathroom? He opened the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

What's rock hard and is sharp? A rock...and my penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -114

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

thumb_up thumb_down +107

What did the black man say to the man from Kyrgyzstan? I've never heard of your country before.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What's the animal that eats with its tail? All of them, since they won't take it off when they get to eat.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What has 142 teeth and can hold back the hulk? My zipper.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was the baby crying? It wasn't it got hit by a bus and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A cruise ship took sail. It was about a mile out into the water already. The blonde had missed the ship when it set sail. She was only capable of swimming a mile. She swam a half a mile out after the ship, and then turned around. She then later died due to a severe case of hypothermia due to the temperatures of the water for long periods of time.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

thumb_up thumb_down +3

An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Ever hear the joke about the black guy going to jail its not a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the man get off the bus? Penis

thumb_up thumb_down -13

ask me if im poop are you poop? no that is impoible

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the chicken cross the road? I have not seen chicken since I was very young, on my parents' farm. This is before the Cossacks slaughtered them. I can still hear screams of sister as soldiers ravaged her. But back to question, where did you see chicken? I am very, very hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops